Molly (2016) s01e02 Episode Script

1 Original subs by Peritta I'm not getting any motor response.
Let's get that line in.
You know how long I've been dreaming of a show like this.
Ever since you were a little girl.
Ha! Seriously, just tell me, who I have to root to make it happen and I'm in.
- We've been approved.
- Oh! Then what are we all standing around here for, then? The show needs a name.
We're running out of time.
Over my perfect dead body.
This is it.
Let the carnival begin.
Crane, go, go, go! There was a rumour on the grapevine The word had got around Michael Gudinski.
Michael's head fungus at Mushroom.
Sell-out! Dickhead! Give us a bloody hug, then, you idiot! Yeah, good onya, hey? Oh, man! Hey! You're all drunken degenerates! These are my friends, dickhead! Oh, come on, come on! See? There's Osiris there.
He was a very powerful god whose body was torn apart and scattered far and wide.
Something to help you stay awake.
Bombs away.
Tell me he's alright, Ted.
Copy that, Rod.
Punch me.
Ohh! You fucked me, Caroline! They don't have this effect on me, alright? That's 'cause you're a junkie and you've ruined my life.
Goodbye, doll.
The oedema's very severe.
It might not be reversible.
Remember Osiris, Ian, the god of the afterlife, torn apart, scattered across the sands of ancient Egypt until the sky goddess found a way to help put the pieces of him back together.
There's the siren! The Saints have taken it! Here she comes! Here she comes! She's home! She's home! Mummy's here.
That's lovely, Ian.
You're not going away again, are you, Mum? Xanadu Xanadu In Xanadu Now that I'm here Now that you're near In Xanadu Now that I'm here Now that you're near In Xanadu Xanadu I was made for lovin' you, baby You were made for lovin' me And I can't get enough of you, baby Can you get enough of me? Hey, boys! Hey, Molly! How you doin', Molly? Yeah, good.
Welcome to Australia.
You should see the crowd out there.
It's as big as the Beatles.
Alright! Alright! We're coming to you from New York, right across Australia.
This is KISS's Countdown.
And we're gonna rock'n'roll you all night.
They make Skyhooks look pretty piss-weak, hey? Yeah.
Babe, I love you so Careful, boys.
Lots of memories there.
Nice joint, Molly.
Thanks, mate.
It's just you moving in, is it? Yeah, just me.
Gonna miss your love The minute you walk out that door So please don't go Don't go Don't go away Where's the coffin go, mate?! It's a sarcoph Oh, straight down the end and right.
Thanks.
Oh, mate, no, no.
Against the wall.
Thanks, mate.
Meldrum.
How could you devote an entire hour of Countdown to KISS? Can't talk now, Michael.
I'm busy.
Oh, KISS! Spandex-wearing ponces with poodle haircuts! I mean, fuck me sideways, mate.
They wear capes! Red Symons wears a cape.
Yeah, and do you know how many millions of albums they've sold? Yeah, but what about the Hooks? Split Enz? And how many Billboard top 10s have they had? Oh, you just can't bend over fast enough for internationals, can ya, ya little poof? Can you just hold the line one sec, mate? There's someone at the door.
Michael! Michael, I need to talk to you about something important.
Yeah, yeah, won't be long, Shirl.
Carol, can we get some coffee and bickies in here? The Monte Carlos? Monte Carlos.
Oh, hello? Molly?! Molly?! How dare you call me a little poof! What the hell? Are you David Copperfield now? Take it back! You take it back right now.
Don't get your knickers in a twist.
Jesus! For your information, I'm bending over for everyone.
That's the whole point.
A rising tide lifts all boats, you know? I'm doing it for the big international acts and local acts on the same show, you twit! Why didn't you tell me Shirl was here? 'Cause you had me by the bloody throat, you dopey If you hadn't Shut your gobs, both of you! Oh, I've been trying to tell you the news, Michael.
I'm leaving the band.
Why? What There is no local music industry.
It's just a hobby.
I mean, we can't compete with bands like KISS.
Their tour managers make more than we do.
No, it's time to grow up.
Grow up? Yeah.
Yeah, well, you should break up.
Your last album was shithouse.
Well, it's, uhh it's definitely a sad day for Aussie music, you know? I mean, no-one could touch Shirley Strachan, although plenty did.
Don't tell him I said that, alright? Do you think Shirl will go solo? I gotta leave it there, alright? Cheers.
Was there a fallout between Shirl and Red? I've been trying to reach you all afternoon.
- The phone's been engaged.
- Good with the other stuff? Just how many of you are there anyway? You're on the telly, radio, magazines Are you cloning yourself? Please, Michael, not today, OK? I'm having a shit of a day.
Huh.
Well, this news might cheer you up.
I just came from the ABC.
Alan Wade's leaving Aunty.
Effective immediately.
Let's have three cheers for Alan, everyone! Hip-hip! - Hooray! Hip-hip! Hooray! Hip-hip! Hooray! Oh! I mean, you dream about these things happening.
But you never actually Ohh! Where's he going? BBC - head of light entertainment.
Ooh, big promotion.
Apparently they love what he's done with Countdown.
No! Still, ding-dong, the witch is dead.
Keep a lid on the celebrations, hey? Of course.
Yeah.
One way or another I'm gonna find ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya One way or another I'm going to win ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya One way or another I'm gonna see ya I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya One day, maybe next week I'm gonna meet ya, I'm gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya One way or another I'm going to find ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya One way or another I'm gonna win ya I'll get ya, I'll get ya .
.
coming up at 6:30.
You're listening to the Rock Force with Molly and Gavin on EON-FM.
In the next half hour we'll play Video Killed the Radio Star and Turning Japanese, but first here's the news.
Where the hell is he, Sue? Well, try him again! Oh, keep the change, Mahmoud.
Thank you, Mr Molly.
Thanks Ohh! You OK, Mr Molly? Yeah.
II needed to freshen up anyway, Mahmoud.
Oh Whoa! Oh, wow.
Where the fuck did that come from? Coffee.
We need coffee.
Gavin, dead air! Uhh, and that was Split Enz with I See Red.
And joining me now, it's my trusty co-host, Molly Meldrum.
Morning, Moll.
Oh, excuse I.
You're on 92.
3 EON-FM.
It's the Rock Force with Molly and Gavin.
Coming up next, the 7 o'clock news.
Then we're gonna play new music from the mighty Cold Chisel.
Oh, don't get me started on Cold Chisel, Gavin.
Why won't they come back on Countdown? Stuck-up bunch of pricks, if you ask me.
Get him out of there! Yeah, OK, Moll, let's Ohh! Yeah, sorry.
Call the fun police.
Gavin Woods is in the house! I am fun, Molly Meldrum.
Now let's go.
It's a free country, isn't it? Just a little thing called the Broadcasting Tribunal, sir.
Schm-ibunal.
Sleep it off, hey, mate? Mate, I tell ya, I'll sleep when I'm dead.
That's gonna be sooner than you think, you keep this up.
Nah, I'm just I'm gonna have a slash, OK? He does know that's a cupboard, right? Well Ohh! Oh, yeah, yeah.
That would be a good place to start.
It's a tricky one.
Uhh, couldn't find a park.
You drove.
You ask me, Mr Squiggle - gay.
Don't tell Miss Jane, whatever you do.
Pat Hatcher.
Mr Shrimpton, I presume? Yes, and this is Mr Meldrum's reputation precedes him.
Thank you.
It's not necessarily a compliment.
Come in.
So, uhh you're a fan? Who isn't? Now, Mr Shrimpton Oh, Michael, please.
I've had a look at this budget of yours for the Countdown Awards.
Yes, well, the awards do keep getting bigger every year.
They're very important for our for our industry.
They're like the Grammys.
Sure, if you think the Logies are like the Emmys.
Have you seen much of Countdown, Pat? Can I call you Pat? I've seen enough, Mr Shrimpton, to know there's room for improvement.
There are certain standards of presentation.
We're in the communication business.
It's a competitive market.
We need the best communicators this industry has to offer.
Um Are are you, like 'Cause, um I'm not Is You'll have to excuse Ian.
He's a little sleep-deprived.
I'm fine.
Breakfast radio.
A situation I've instructed our lawyers to investigate.
Mr Meldrum has a contract with the ABC for which we expect exclusive dedication.
Dedication? Every everything I do is for Countdown.
The the 3am phone calls, the radio, the DJ'ing It's all so I know what the kids will be into before they do.
Yesterday, I had to listen to an extended mix of Captain & Tennille's Do That to Me One More Time.
Now, that is dedication! Who the fuck does she think she is? She's our boss is who she is.
I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Alan Wade.
Come back, Alan! All is forgiven! You're out of control.
Yeah, I'm fine.
No, you're not fine.
You're half cut.
And the other half of you is pissed as a newt! Have you had any word from Caroline? She's never coming back, Michael.
You can't outrun grief.
Maybe you need some help.
Everything's under control.
Really.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Oh, I've made a payment! What are you doing? - Oh, come on! - Oi, get off! Ohh! Oh, come on, mate! Are you kidding? You can't be fucking serious! Oh, no! Ohh! Ciao, baby Let's call it a day Ciao, baby Go ahead and Throw my love away No, baby, it's too late to change your mind and stay Please don't drag it out much longer Leave before the hurt gets stronger Ciao Ciao, ciao Lynne Randell.
Aren't you meant to be in America supporting the Monkees? 13 years ago.
Try and keep up! I'm not in America now, am I? Not today, lovey.
Not today.
It is you, isn't it? Yay.
Yes! Hi! Ohh! Hi.
Arggh! Come here.
Ohh.
Oh, lovey, I missed you.
I missed you too.
Oh, lovey, how are you? Abe divorced me, I lost custody of my son and my career died in the arse.
You? Shit.
Do do you want a job? I can get you a job.
I've already got one.
I'm your new personal assistant.
What? Well, Shrimpton says you need to get your life in order so there's gonna be some serious changes around here, Ian Meldrum.
Now, fancy a lemonade? Oh, I fuckin' love you.
You want it? You want it? Whoa-oh, the nips are getting bigger Whoa, yeah The nips are getting bigger Whoa-oh-oh The nips are getting bigger Yeah Thanks, boys.
Thanks for coming.
Nice togas.
Study much history, did you? No.
I hope you win today.
Go, the Sainters! Sainters! Oh! Mm! Telephone.
Mmm.
It's a bit early, isn't it? Where the hell is he, Lynne? You're supposed to be looking out for him.
I've had Gary Morris in my office for the last half hour.
Shrimpton's waiting for you in his office with some guy called Gary Morris.
Oh, Christ on a stick! Take your Cleopatra off.
I'll drive you.
Is that someone in the sarcophagus? I think it's Iggy Pop.
Boys, get up, get up! Real good party, Moll.
Yeah, party.
Yeah, yeah.
Come on.
So was Peter Garrett always bald or Gary! Shrimp.
Didn't keep you waiting, did I? Well Good, good, good.
Now, Gaz, a slot's opened up this week.
I want to give it to the Oils, introduce them to a whole new audience, really get the buzz going, you know? No! You know how the boys feel about lip-syncing, Moll.
Righto, I understand.
Maybe we could work something Hang on! That's non-negotiable.
Well, uhh, what about we split the diff - live vocal only? Come on.
Come on, Michael.
Trust me.
This band, it's worth it.
Tell the boys Back on the Borderline is gonna go top 10.
Righto, Moll.
See you Saturday.
And don't be late! Top 10? No.
Not this one.
But I tell you, in an album or two, they're gonna be huge.
That's why we've gotta get in on the ground floor.
Um, what was that, by the way - "Don't be late"? It's not a party.
It's television.
Fashionably late costs thousands of dollars.
Is this coming from you or the Iron Lady? I can't have our crew twiddling their thumbs waiting for hung-over rock stars to stumble in when it suits them.
They're artists, Michael.
A show starring chartered accountants wouldn't be rating three million.
These are the hottest acts in the country.
So they can afford to buy a decent watch.
By the way, you're still wearing make-up.
I paid bloody good money for this crap! So did I! - Come on, Joffa! - Come on, son! Cooper! Come on, Mad Dog! I know you got more in ya.
Heads up, boys.
Come on, boys.
Still another half to go.
Come on, Joffa.
You're doing great, fellas.
Hey, Mad Dog! You're bloody killing it! Come on! Keep your heads up! God, we're like bloody witch's hats out there, mate.
At least your gun recruit's kicked a couple, Lindsay.
Attention, Molly Meldrum.
Could you go to the ABC studios immediately? If you're not there in 10 minutes, you're fired.
Molly Meldrum's in trouble! Oh, fuck.
Oh-ho-ho-ho! We're up shit creek here, mate.
Any news, Grant? Here we go, hey? Uhh, can someone show us where the band room is? That won't be necessary, Gary.
Shit! Where are the Oils going? They didn't say.
Is there a problem? Only that I bumped them.
You bumped my band? They were late.
I had to send a message.
What was the message? "I'm a dickhead"? I've got Pat Hatcher sharpening the pencil on me, Meldrum.
So, what, you stab me in the neck with it? I'm the face of this show.
I'm the one who has to wear it! Who the hell is gonna replace the Oils? You're having fun So unplug the jukebox And do us all a favour Now that music's lost its taste So try another flavour Antmusic Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh Antmusic Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh, Antmusic Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh Antmusic Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh Well, I'm standing here What do I see? A big nothing threatening me You know what I love about video clips? They don't sleep in.
You're having fun So unplug the jukebox And do us all a favour Now that music's lost its taste So try another flavour Antmusic Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh Antmusic Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh, Antmusic Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh That was Adam Ant with Antmusic.
You're on EON-FM with John Peters and joining me in the studio from the mighty Oils is Peter Garrett.
Now, Peter, my spies tell me you're on Countdown this week.
Need to get yourself some new spies, John.
The Oils' focus right now is our live work, not lip-syncing for teeny-boppers.
But Countdown is the highest-rating show in the country.
Yeah, and it's a sausage factory for powder puffs and wannabes.
We're a political band.
We're not about to kowtow to a pop music dictatorship run by Molly Meldrum.
He said it.
I'm not gonna touch it.
You're on EON-FM After that we head back into the studio to do an EP, tentatively titled Bird Noises So Countdown's a sausage factory, is it, Peter? Thought you and the band might like these.
And that was Molly Meldrum dropping by to say hi.
You're on EON-FM.
What are you doing to me, Lynne? I hired you to wrangle him.
Oh, he burns brightly, Michael, and it's not my job to put out the fire.
Well, it's not your job to throw fuel on it either.
That is not what I was doing.
Oh, come off it, Lynne! You bought the sausages.
I want him on a tight leash.
You hear me? Tight.
I'm back on the borderline Don't forget to grab your copy of TV Week so you can cast your vote for the upcoming Countdown Awards, featuring all your favourite artists from across the country and overseas, including Split Enz, the Swingers, Flowers, Air Supply, Aussie Crawl, Jermaine Jackson and Suzi Quatro! I cannot believe you two.
This is shameless.
You both know that, right? He's the one who wants them to re-form for the Countdown Awards.
Yeah, he wants to release Living in the '80s.
Shirley Strachan is a rock star.
You don't lose that swagger overnight.
Do you wanna join in? Do you wanna have fun? Do you wanna start feeling good? You'll never go wrong if you're singing this song 'Cause you're in our neighbourhood Yes, you're in our neighbourhood Remind me what Skyhooks album this was off again? I'm Claude the Crow and I wish they'd go for good.
That Claude the Crow gives me the fair dinkum shits.
.
.
play some tricks on the stupid old neighbourhood.
Quick, quick, quick! Can we fix this fuckin' set? Alright, everyone, take a break while we fix the tree.
Stand by, playback.
Fuck's sake! Somebody get me a ciggie.
I can't believe Shirl left me for this.
Hey! Hey, mate.
Shirls! Hey, guys.
How are ya? How you going, mate? Your very own show, mate.
Well done.
Yeah.
Hey.
Oh, mate.
Well done.
Yeah? So what do you think? Oh, we we were just talking about the characters and The characters.
Claude the Crow.
Yeah? Oh! Classic.
Yeah, grouchy old bastard.
It's like I'm still working with Red.
It's only a few days filming a week, no screaming girls, but Well, if you're missing the girls, mate, you could always get the band back together.
And easy! I hope that's not why you came down.
No, no, no, no.
Just saying, mate.
I mean, as good as all this is, three words - Hooked on Hooks.
Oh Chinga-chinga-chinga! Hey, listen, don't listen to the music mogul, Shirl.
We're proud of ya.
Thanks, Moll.
But if you do want to get the Hooks back together, we could find a slot for you at the Countdown Awards.
Ahh If you want it.
No pressure.
Let's go, people! Righto, Ken! Gotta go.
Alright, Shirl.
Good to see youse.
See ya, Shirl.
Love you, mate.
Break a leg.
Great work, mate.
If I ever end up on a show with a puppet, fuckin' shoot me.
Do you wanna join in? Do you wanna have fun? Do you wanna start feeling good? You'll never go wrong if you're singing this song 'Cause you're in our neighbourhood Yes, you're in our neighbourhood Karl, thanks for coming.
No worries, Moll.
Uhh, so the stereo system is in here.
It it's on the blink.
I don't know what's wrong with it.
I'll check it out.
It's like James Dean and David Bowie Shh, shh, shh.
.
.
had a love child.
He's just here to fix the stereo.
He's, um, an audio technician.
Sure, sure.
So you wouldn't mind if I put some of my Miss Mod moves on him? Lovey, um, I think he could be the one.
Or at least one of the ones.
No, it's not like that.
I I think he might actually be into me.
Really? 'Cause I'm pretty sure he was giving me some strong vibes.
We'll see.
I have a foolproof test.
Once I smoked a Dannemann cigar I drove a foreign car But, baby, that was years ago I was hoping to get them to open the Countdown Awards with this.
Do you like it? Oh, it's certainly more commercial for them.
The production's an improvement on Breakfast at Sweethearts and Don Walker still writes some of the best lyrics going around.
So you're a Chisels fan, then? Oh, I also like the New Romantics.
I saw this great band in London, actually.
I s'pose you've heard of Duran Duran? Yeah.
Uhh, by the way, there's nothing wrong with your stereo system.
Look now Look all around There's no sign of life Voices, another sound Can you hear me now? Ohh, ohh This is planet Earth You're looking at planet Earth Planet Earth, planet Earth You're looking at planet Earth Bop bop-bop bop bop bop bop-bop This is planet Earth Bop bop-bop bop bop bop bop-bop Calling planet Earth Bop bop-bop bop bop bop bop-bop So this is where the bands perform.
Yeah, I know.
Um, and over here is where I do Humdrum.
Oh, really? What are you doing? Just checking this out.
And, um, yeah, well, you know, if you you like to have a bit of a boogie, then do yourselves a favour and go get this album.
It's going crazy in the discos right now.
Alright! Let's go to Egypt.
What? Now? Soon.
I wanna take you, Karl.
OK.
OK, then.
Wait till you see it - Giza, Luxor, Karnak, Valley of the Kings Oh, the Sphinx.
What's going on here? .
.
has shocked a city normally inured to such violence.
The former Beatle John Lennon has been shot dead outside his Dakota apartment building here in New York.
Doctors failed to resuscitate him and pronounced the former Beatle dead on arrival.
Even before the 40-year-old singer/songwriter's death was confirmed, crowds began gathering outside the Dakota, an emotional scene with people singing the music of John Lennon and the Beatles and remembering one of the pop music world's most respected figures John.
How's it going, Molly? John.
Uhh II was there in '64 when you came to town.
I was was waiting in the crowd out front of the Southern Cross Hotel.
I saw your your concert at Festival Hall.
I It changed my life, John.
Festival Hall? I remember it well.
Really? No.
Well, I screamed my lungs out.
I was the most hysterical Beatles fan there.
Who were you screaming for? Well, John of course.
I love you, Paul! I love you, Paul! I love you! Ow! Ow! Come on, mate! You've had enough.
No, you can't do this! I told you before! I love you, John.
They were the reason I fell I love with music.
Every album was like a new friend, you know? No matter how bad it got, at least I had the Beatles, you know? Now what have I got? Me.
This is no way to send him off.
Yeah, but this is.
I took my loved one over across the tracks So she could hear my man wailing sax I must admit they had a rockin' band Man, they were blowing like a hurricane That's why I go for that rock and roll music Any old way you choose it It's got a back beat, you can't lose it Any old time you choose it It's gotta be rock and roll music If you wanna dance with me If you wanna dance with me I took my loved one over across the tracks So she could hear my man wailing sax I must admit they had a rockin' band Man, they were blowing like a hurricane That's why I go for that rock and roll music Any old way you choose it It's got a back beat You can't lose it Any old time you use it It's gotta be rock and roll music If you wanna dance with me If you wanna dance with me.
It's said President Sadat was murdered by enemies of the peace.
.
.
America's first space shuttle.
And the shuttle has cleared the tower.
I'm standing on the outside lookin' in I'm standing on the outside lookin' in Whoa-oh, I never strayed outside the law When are we gonna see your boys back on the show, Rod? When they don't have to do a Marcel Marceau.
What about the awards, hey? What am I gonna have to do to get your boys on? A bottle of vodka would probably get Jimmy over the line.
Hah! Actually, the ABC could probably afford that.
Yeah, leave it with me, Moll.
Alright, thanks, Rod.
I've got a bad case of the bends Where's Lynne? Standing on the sidewalk you can see Somebody everybody wants to be I didn't know she knew the Chisel roadie.
Yeah, they go way back to about two or three minutes ago.
Ohh, God! Pulled a job on a small-town TAB Five grand down on his own little piece of Eden The first thing I do when I get into town Is buy a .
22 and cut the whole thing down No amount of work's gonna buy my way to freedom OK, thanks to all of our very special acts tonight - Australian Crawl, Dr.
Hook and Devo.
And don't forget next week the very, very special Countdown Awards with the biggest rock act in the country, Cold Chisel! No.
No! It is gonna be huge.
I can't wait.
Take it away, Gavin, and goodnight, Australia.
And we're clear! Oh, thanks for that, guys.
Excuse me, girls.
Excuse me.
Did you enjoy the show? Excuse me.
Sorry.
Hope to see you again.
Love you, Molly! You're a sweetheart.
We got a serious problem.
I know.
He's running late for a plane.
I gotta get you to the airport.
What problem? I just got off the phone with Rod Willis.
Chisel said no to the awards.
Who the fuck do they think they are? Well You know this is Jimmy's fault.
Glaswegian git.
No, no! Stop it.
Shush, shush, shush.
OK, girls.
OK, pic.
OK, over here, over here.
Alright.
Alright, that's it.
Thanks.
Thanks, girls.
Cheers.
How's it gonna look if one of the biggest bands of the year isn't on? They never really got over us not playing Khe Sanh.
10 awards they're nominated for - Best Album, Most Popular Group, Most Outstanding Achievement.
They think our awards lack credibility.
Oh, less credibility than what? There are no other awards in Australia! Shrimp, he needs to go, now! Alright.
Lynne, you drive.
Michael, get in.
I'm gonna call Rod Willis from the car.
The car? How does it even work? There's a transmitter in the boot.
Did it cost much? Oh, reasonable.
Five grand.
A payphone costs 20 cents.
Doesn't fit in my car, though, does it, Michael? Rod Willis! Molly.
Yeah, about these awards, mate Look, I shouldn't be telling you this, but, uhh, your boys have scooped the pool.
They're at the engravers now.
Listen, Rod, I'm not gonna beg.
It's just that Oh, who am I kidding? I'm begging, Rod.
Right.
Of course.
Righto.
They'll be there.
It just paid for itself.
Yes, alright.
Don't tell me you bought this too.
Molly! Moll! Hey! What are Raggsy and Hoffa doing here? I forgot my records, told them they could come to Perth if they brought 'em down.
What's in Perth? DJ gig.
They provide a private jet for a DJ gig? Oh, shit, no.
I had to charter this myself.
It's my fault.
I double booked.
Pile in, boys.
The whole thing's costing him three times the fee of the actual gig, but Hey, why the change of heart from Cold Chisel anyway? I promised them they could play live to finish the show.
Hooroo! Ooh! He Righto, folks, here we go.
Stand by, camera four.
We're coming to you out of VTR.
.
.
on the ABC Network.
A projected audience of over three million people throughout Australia will be watching as Countdown presents live from the Regent Theatre in Sydney the 1980 TV Week Rock Music Awards.
And here's your host for tonight, Ian 'Molly' Meldrum.
And the award for Best Australian Album for 1980 goes to Cold Chisel.
Three, get me Chisel.
Where are they? Any eyes on Chisel? Has somebody got them? Camera two, take! And, uhh, accepting the award is their manager, Rod Willis.
Ahh, where are they? They're running a bit late.
Uhh The award for Most Popular Group goes to - Righto, ready the zoom.
- 15 seconds.
Wide, five.
And take! .
.
Cold Chisel! OK, three, get me Chisel.
Any eyes on Chisel? Who's got them? Come on.
Picking up the award for Cold Chisel tonight is Cold Chisel's manager Rod Willis.
They better fuckin' show.
Uhh, yeah, um Hey, Jimmy, wait up! What's wrong with ya? Not that young anymore.
Old man, hey? I'm still fuckin' pissed from last night.
Relax! Lovey, they're here.
Ohh OK, stand by, two.
Two, take! And now you're trying to use my face to sell TV Week Baby! Ow! Baby! Baby! Cold Chisel! Cold Chisel! Cold Chisel! Cold Chisel! Shut them down.
Lower the droppers.
Fuck! You're on, buddy.
Musos have been smashing guitars for a while now, Meldrum.
I'm sure they didn't mean any disrespect to the awards.
Try not to take it personally.
Goodnight! Do you know how many local albums topped the charts in 1973? None.
Not one.
All overseas acts.
Now bands like Cold Chisel can clean up because Countdown put Australian music on the map.
Give me this.
Arggh! ARGGH! Uhh, uhh, uhh! Arggh-hah! Huh But like I say, if the mountain won't go to Mohammed, then the mountain can go and get rooted.
Or Mohammed could go to the mountain.
You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean.
I said a-beautiful people Welcome aboard, sir.
Got a Robert Palmer T-shirt in their travel bag Beautiful people They've got a price upon their head I said a-beautiful people Have got some friends who just flew in from LA Beautiful people They haven't really much to say I said people They just wanna take you People They just wanna make you People, they just wanna break you down They just wanna take you down Yeah, OK, well, Simon, Nick, welcome to Countdown.
Thank you.
You've had a string of hits that have been successful overseas.
Your mob needs to be spot-on at one o'clock.
Molly will be waiting.
Just there, mate.
Rod! Yeah, hey.
- G'day, mate.
How are ya? - Hey, Moll.
Rod, so have you written the songs at this stage for the new for the new album? "F-f-for the new album?" Rod, don't do this to me! You do this every time.
I'm doing my best.
People They just wanna take you People, they just wanna break you down They just wanna take you down! Thank you.
Sure.
Mmm! Get me Shrimpton.
What?! What time is it there? It's early.
Early afternoon.
Oh, another big night, then? You know how it is, Michael.
Gotta grease those wheels.
Mmm, what with? Caviar? I'm sensing this isn't a social call.
I have just come from a meeting with Pat Hatcher.
She's having kittens.
Really? Oh, I must send her a card.
This is serious, Meldrum.
She's seen your expenses.
What the hell is going on over there? Are you showering in French champagne? This hotel bill is the GDP of a small nation.
Oh, you know what rock stars are like.
They never pay for anything.
Mick Jagger never even brings his wallet to dinner.
I doubt he's even got one.
Thank God you're flying home today.
Tell Grant to cancel the limo to the airport and take a bus.
Actually, I'm gonna stay on an extra day.
There's a new artist with Warner.
She sounds interesting.
Don't let her near the mini bar.
Oh, relax.
Her name's straight out of the Bible.
She's probably a prude.
Oh, fuck! Mr Meldrum! Mr Mr Meldrum! Hold up.
I'll lead you in.
So where is she? Actually, you're late and she's been waiting.
So she can wait.
Who the fuck's Madonna anyway? I'm Madonna.
What the fuck is a Molly? Roll! Um, give us your chewie.
Hmm? Uh, your gum.
'Chewie'.
We're rolling, Moll.
Yeah, rightio.
You right? Uhh, so, Madonna, the lyrics to your first single, uhh, Burning Up, are, you know, pretty explicit and I guess it kind of begs the question, are you willing to do anything to make it in this business? You don't know what I've done already, Molly.
Oh! Aha.
Uhh So what what are your ambitions beyond this first album? Well, um, besides making mischief I want to make more albums and I want to produce my own albums and I want to be an actress in films.
I want it all, basically.
Um, what what about touring? Mm-hm.
If I make your next single, Holiday, number one in Australia, will you promise to come and visit us? Oh, honey, for my first number one, I'd visit Pluto.
I think Pluto's probably closer.
Oh, what? What is it? A call from you from home.
Yeah, well, I'm It's urgent.
It's OK.
You go.
Sorry.
Mm-hm.
It's alright.
This better be good.
I like him.
What now, Michael? Lovey, it's me.
Lynne? What the hell? I'm in the middle of interviewing Madonna.
I don't care if it's Jesus.
This is important.
Trust me.
What is it? They said it was electrical.
Dodgy wiring.
Oh, Moll Ian! Told you you were indestructible.
Should fix up alright.
Nah, leave it the way it is, I reckon.
Oh, mate.
How am I gonna put all this back together again? Ian Meldrum? Every cloud That's me! Special delivery from Lindsay Fox.
Is there a note? "Wherever you lay your hat.
" The most permanent thing in life is change.
Any boss who sacks anyone for not turning up today is a bum.
This is Billy Idol.
This is Countdown '83.
And keep rocking.
Hot in the city Hot in the city tonight Tonight, alright Hot in the city Hot in the city tonight That's Hot in the City, Billy Idol.
And now back to you, Molly! What an amazing show.
Billy Idol, Bruce Springsteen, Stevie Nicks, Simon Le Bon and, of course, Boy George.
And if you haven't done it yet, do yourself a favour and check out Madonna's debut album featuring the number one single from across the country.
Here she is - Madonna with Holiday.
Goodnight, Australia.
And we're clear.
Clear? Alright.
I'm sorry.
I gotta go.
Mwah.
You're a darling, alright? I'll make it up to you.
I've gotta go.
I See you next week.
See ya.
Guess who's getting married.
Who? Elton John? To a woman? I can just picture the dress.
Yeah, I wonder what Renate will be wearing.
Oh, poor Gary.
I wonder how he feels about this.
Oh, Molly! Moll! Apparently there's a pack of reporters out front.
They want a grab from you about Elton.
Well, we can take the side exit.
Oh, maybe just a quick one.
Old Dial-a-Quote himself.
Loves it.
Hang on, Lynne.
There's a phone call for you in the green room.
OK.
Hello.
Hi, sweetie.
Daddy let you stay up late? Yeah, Mummy misses you too.
But, um, I'm saving to come and visit you soon, OK? Cross my heart.
I promise.
I said to Elton, "If you don't hurry up and kiss the bride, "then I certainly will.
" So you're obviously invited to the wedding, then, Molly? Yeah, that's right.
Can't wait.
You taking anyone special? I am, in fact.
Miss Mod herself, Lynne Randell.
And why wouldn't ya? Can you tell us where it is, Moll? I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you.
Is it a church wedding? Uhh, remains to be seen.
Nearly got me.
I'm sorry, guys.
- That's enough.
Cheers.
- Alright, thank you, Moll.
I wanna kiss the bride, yeah! I wanna kiss the bride, yeah! At 6:00, the sun came out and the bride, 28-year-old recording engineer Renate Blauel, arrived dressed in a traditional gown and short veil.
While everyone had been waiting at the front of the church, the guests had quietly gone in through a side door.
40 minutes later, Mr and Mrs Elton John emerged and the organ music which was supposed to have accompanied them down the steps was drowned out by Kiss the Bride being Cristal? Elton's had it flown halfway around the world.
We might as well drink it, lovey.
I thought I could handle it.
But seeing him with her It's like I don't exist.
Is that the bouquet? Yeah.
Renate thought I should have it.
Ugh Want to hear something that will cheer you up? No.
Oh, darl.
John Reid told me tomorrow's headline for the Truth.
"Elton Takes One up the Aisle".
Well He told me he loved me, Molly.
And he does, Gary.
It's complicated.
I should know.
I I've been engaged twice myself.
And here you are with Lynne Randell as your plus one.
How do you think Karl feels about that? God, Ian.
I thought you were staying in Sydney after the wedding.
Uhh, I needed I needed to talk to you, lovey.
I, uhh It's just that I can't.
You're not breaking up with me, are you? You don't deserve It's just not Oh, my God.
You are.
I love you.
I do, but everyone wants a piece of me and I'm all over the shop, OK? They're coming at me from all sides.
I just At the moment, I can't.
I just I'm sorry.
II'm sorry.
So you're just gonna walk away? Just like that, huh? You know, this is exactly what you do, Ian.
You shut people out the minute they get too close.
Talk to me! Ian, look at me! Let me go! Just let me go.
Please.
Mmm Don't.
Hi, Molly.
It's me.
I, um I am I am so, so sorry.
You were right about me.
I stuff up everything I touch.
I'm just a bit broken.
But you, you're a star, OK? Don't you ever forget that.
Goodbye, doll.
It's OK.
It's OK.
I know it What's wrong with me? Why can't I just be normal? Oh, lovey, if you ever become normal, this friendship is over.
Thanks, lovey.
Slip, slop, slap! Hello, Molly.
I hope I see you soon and I hope you're well.
There's no food in their bellies.
This is the real battle.
Molly, it's Bob Geldof here.
Can you call me back? I want to run a little idea past you.
Freddie? Oh, did I wake you, darling? No, no, it's No, it's fine.
I couldn't sleep anyway.
Bob Geldof keeps calling me.
Oh, you too, huh? How's my favourite queen? I hear you're royalty yourself these days - King of Moomba.
I crown thee, Molly the first queen to become King of Moomba.
What the fuck is Moomba anyway? Oh, it's a Melbourne thing.
Never could say no to a parade.
We are the champions, my friends And we'll keep on fighting to the end We are the champions We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions Of the world Hey, hey, honey, when I'm without you I get a chill up and down my spine And I I feel so hot Oh, hey, hey.
Sorry.
Not so fast, love.
Thanks.
Ahh.
Here we are.
It's, uhh it's like watching a nature documentary.
I wanna look away, but I can't bring myself to do it.
Uhh, I'm I'm Ian.
Joy.
Television does not do you justice, Ian Meldrum.
Ohh Hello.
Is he with you, Michael? Hah.
Yep, just a sec.
Hey, it's for you - Bob Geldof.
Ask the Irish bastard if he's had a bath yet.
He won't have.
Uhh, Bob, yeah, it's Moll.
How'd you find me? Freddie gave me Michael's number.
Molly, I need your help.
You're the only one who can pull this thing together You're breaking up on me, Bob.
I can't Bob? Bob? Is this that Africa thing? Yeah.
Mr Meldrum! Oh, Pat Hatcher.
Oh, Michael Gudinski, Pat Hatcher.
G'day.
Hello.
You've met Jonathan, haven't you? A very talented newcomer to the music television scene, one to keep an eye on.
Well, if you'll excuse us I wonder what number she is in the big race.
See, I told you Hatcher's got it in for me, always parading my replacement right under my nose.
You need to stay ahead of the game, mate.
Keep your edge.
Mate, I've got edge.
What would you know about edge? I know when a show looks tired.
We're living in an MTV world now.
Kids want high-end video clips No, mate, kids want live music.
Mate, you don't do live music.
Well, a live vibe, artists in a studio.
That is prehistoric, mate.
Videos are the future.
You adapt or die, OK? Any chance of you swallowing some of that food? Manufacturers say interest in compact disc players is high.
They're expensive and there aren't many discs yet "Um, hi, Joy.
It's me Ian Ian Meldrum.
" "Hi, Joy.
It's me, Ian Meldrum.
"We met at the Melbourne Cup do the other day.
"I was just wondering" .
.
in a situation where if food doesn't reach them soon, they will starve on a scale not seen in Africa for many years.
This family haven't had food for weeks.
The result is clear.
Help is needed, but help is still far away.
Hi, Bob.
It's Molly.
You're tuned in to EON-FM.
This is Band Aid with Do They Know It's Christmas? Ugh! Sorry, Band Aid, but considering the Ethiopians follow the Julian and not the Gregorian calendar, they probably don't know it's Christmas, not to mention a third of them are Muslim.
Ahh! Ohh! Yes! What a band.
Mm-hm.
Whoo! It's a fine line between pleasure and pain If you've done it once You could do it again Whatever you've done Don't try to explain It's a fine, fine line Between pleasure and pain So are you gonna do it? What? Live Aid.
Oh, Geldof's gone ahead and mentioned me in the press.
It's impossible, Joy.
I've got two weeks to pull the whole thing together.
And it'll be fine.
You'll do it.
Hey.
Mmm? Is it that true Phil Collins is gonna fly Concorde across the Atlantic so he can play at both Wembley and Philly? Uh-huh.
Hmm.
Interesting tribute to poverty.
I can't do this without you, Lynne.
I mean, this this is the biggest thing we've ever done.
Molly, no.
Please don't ask me.
No, no, I'm not asking you not to go, just to postpone.
II will make it up to you, I swear.
I promised him.
He's expecting me.
I promised him.
Kids get over these things.
What? Like you did? How can we just turn our back on a million starving kids? I mean, do you want Jamie to be proud of his mum? Yeah.
What's going on? Everyone's called in sick.
It's the Meldrum flu.
Mr Shrimpton, any idea where your staff is? Countdown.
Mentals and Mondo Rock are confirmed.
And Dragon are trying to shift tour dates.
So is Men at Work and LRB.
Can we just Can we not take no for an answer, OK? London have U2, Queen and Paul McCartney.
Philly have Madonna, Beach Boys and Bob Dylan.
I am not gonna close this show with fuckin' Wa Wa Nee! Hi.
Moll! Chris Murphy says that he'd love to help, but the band are unavailable.
He says they're out of the country.
Yeah, unavailable my arse! First time for everything.
Mate, I I know for a fact that band are in Sydney.
You remember we have a show this week? And you've stolen our whole production office.
I want you to get Chris Murphy back on the line.
Spreading yourself a bit thin, aren't you, Molly? I think that's in poor taste.
There's actually a famine going on.
Do you want any toast done? Yeah, toast? No! What about the show? We've got competition and they are coming after us.
Shrimp, this is the biggest rock show in history.
Moll, Chris has just "stepped into a meeting".
That little bastard.
America wouldn't even be able to spell INXS if it wasn't for Countdown.
Where's the gratitude? You know, I scratch their back.
They stick a knife in mine! Why did I let Bob get me into this?! Oh, are you sure you wanna do this? Teledex.
I'm doing it.
Who's he calling? TV Week.
Lawrie, it's Moll.
Exciting news.
You got a pen? INXS have agreed to headline the Oz Aid for Africa concert, said it was such an important cause that they, uhh, wouldn't miss it for the world.
Don't forget that last bit, Lawrie.
Righto.
How many rabbits have you got in that hat? I'm standing here on the ground The sky above won't fall down See no evil In all directions Resolution of happiness Things have been dark For too long Don't change for you Don't change a thing for me Don't Change There you go, mate.
Goodnight.
Thank you.
Oh, Mr Mr Molly? I never told you.
I am from Addis Ababa in Ethiopia.
Thank you.
'Night, Mahmoud.
Goodnight.
What are you doing? I've got meetings in there tomorrow.
So tell the builders to hurry up and finish the fucking kitchen! Is that detergent? Oh, keep your hat on.
I'll rinse.
What's the matter with you? What's the matter with me? Jamie won't even speak to me on the phone.
He says he hates his mum.
But at least at least the concert went well for you.
I didn't do it for me.
If I wanted to do something for me, you know what I'd do.
I'd disappear! I missed my son's birthday for you! Arggh! Uhh, I got you a first-class ticket to Los Angeles.
There's a double pass to Disneyland in there as well for you and Jamie.
I'm still mad at you.
But this does help.
Have you seen these ratings, Mr Shrimpton? I didn't think the ABC cared about ratings.
It's a new world.
Try to keep up.
I want a meeting with you and Mr Meldrum in my office.
You're going to tell me how you intend to turn this around.
Ted, anything? No-one's heard from him since Live Aid.
I checked the police lock-up.
Nothing.
Nothing from the Croxton or Gudinski or the St Kilda Footy Club.
No luck reaching Lynne? Nup.
It's been three days.
He's just disappeared off the face of the earth.
Take on me Take on me Take me on Take on me I'll be Alright, hold it there.
If we add that one to Shrimp, I know where he is! I found him.
Page three.
Oh! Egypt? Jesus! You ever been, Karl? Nope, never been.
Lucky lady.
Yeah.
Might just borrow this for five.
Yeah, back in a tick.
Would you like some tea? Oh! Mm-hm.
Postcard? No, thank you.
It really is something, isn't it? Yeah, it's something except the trouble with wonders of the world is I I never know how long you're supposed to look at 'em.
Like, is 30 seconds too short? A minute? I mean, fuck, it's a pyramid.
Got it.
Moving on.
I could easily spend six months a year in Cairo.
We should do that after we get married.
Yes, it's, uhh, always been a dream of mine to watch the ancient monuments eroding.
Sir! Mr Meldrum! As-salaam alaikum.
Wa-alaikum salaam, sir.
I have 45 telephone messages for you.
I got a broken heart and a broken head I had a little accident Nothing too serious Take a look at this place Take a look at this mess Nothing too serious If you close your eyes it may go away I had a little accident! Nothing too serious, hey New tour, new album, new single.
Hmph, old program.
Nothing too serious.
G'day.
This is Countdown.
She's ready for us.
Come in.
Take a seat.
Is that them? The good news is that you could no longer call it a downward trend.
And the bad news? It's more of a spiral.
Face it - Richard Wilkins is making a big splash with MTV and you're looking as limp as yesterday's lettuce, which is why we're going to reformat the show, cut it to half an hour and streamline the budget.
That won't be necessary, Pat.
I've decided to end the show.
It's been a pleasure working with you.
Ooh.
I have to say, Meldrum, that was all class.
You took the high road.
I'm proud of you.
Can you just, um Give me one sec.
Too many times, too many times Moll! What have you done?! Come on! Come on here! What are you doing out here, mate? Yeah, I'm comin'! Hold the train! You want a beer? Yes! Oh, all hail the male model! You look beautiful.
I didn't realise it was so cold out, mate.
I'm comin'! Hang on! Get up here! Hey, come here.
Come on, you bastard! OK, come on.
Oh, oh! I've drunken by myself Can't miss your own party.
Isn't that what you say? Whoo! Aww! It wasn't me.
I swear.
Mwah! It's the final countdown! Get over here! Rightio, rightio! Alright, alright, alright.
Settle down, settle down.
Now, as you know, I'm not too much one for public speaking We know! We've been watching you on telly for 13 years.
Well, I just wanted to say that, uhh Well, I left my pants in Albury Yeah! It's not the first time! which means that we've still got seven hours of party time until we hit Sydney and the last-ever broadcast of our show.
Now, I just wanted to say thank you for for being there with me, you know, throughout this crazy ride.
I'm not gonna say you're like family to me because you are family to me.
Through the ups and the troughs and the peaks and the And all the lows and the downs, you've just Whenever I've fallen to pieces you've been there to pick me up and put me together again and I just wanna say thanks.
Here's to Molly Meldrum, the Humpty Dumpty of Australian music who changed the face of Oz rock and behaved very badly doing it.
To Molly! To Molly! To Molly! - We love you! - Molly! Too many times Too many times Too many times Too many times Ian? Doll? Lovey? Daisy, Daisy Give me your answer, do Oh! Welcome back.
We thought we'd lost you.
I'll go and get the doctor.
Daisy, Daisy Give me your answer, do I'm half crazy All for the love of you It won't be a stylish marriage I can't afford a carriage But you'll look sweet Upon a seat Of a bicycle built for two.
Molly! Molly! Molly! Molly! Molly! Molly! Molly! You're in my heart, you're in my soul You'll be my breath should I grow old Molly! Molly! You are my lover You're my best friend You're in my soul You're in my soul You'll be my breath should I grow old You are my lover You're my best friend You're in my soul