Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (2003) s01e02 Episode Script

ANNOUNCER: What are these people running from? They're not, they're running to the world's toughest competition in town.
Today a team of organ donors and recipients will go head to spleen against a team of twelve-step recovering addicts.
It's drunks, dopers, and donors.
So get fired up for Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.
Now, here are two men that know a lot about each other's organs: Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yes, dude you're really stoked.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, indeed I am, Ken, indeed I am.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And why is that? VIC ROMANO: Well that's because today's contestants are so inspiring.
We've got organ donors, people who make the ultimate gift of life, versus recovering addicts, people who have found the courage to confront their addictions.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Like, uh, what, like drugs and booze? VIC ROMANO: Well yes, alcohol, narcotics are the more well-known addictions.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Uh, what else? VIC ROMANO: Well, there's gambling, shopping, uh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Porn? VIC ROMANO: Yes, sexual addiction.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, I like porn.
VIC ROMANO: Kenny this is serious.
There are recovery steps involved.
I myself have gone through seven of the twelve.
Addiction is a disease, right Captain? CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Contestants, how many of you consider addiction a disease, hmm? MALE 1: Oh, yeah, I'm for that.
[CROWD NOISE.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Oh, well that's a load of crap.
Addicts are worthless and weak.
That's called, tough love.
FEMALE 1: I consider myself worthless.
FEMALE 2: And I'm weak.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Mm, well you in the front row, other than your sense of style, what have you donated? MALE 2: Uh, uh, well, uh, let's see, uh, don't tell me.
[CROWD NOISE.]
[LAUGHTER.]
Oh wait, wait- CAPTAIN TENNEAL: I'm thinking it's your frontal lobe.
[LAUGHTER.]
Boy, the captain's gonna earn his paycheck today.
Ahem.
Let's go.
[ MUSIC .]
VIC ROMANO: And it's time for Mud Butlers.
In this event, each player taps an inflated goat bladder with a meat mallet, then each player races down the Steps of Doom and attempts to catch the swollen orb, before it lands in the Bog of Mystery Mud.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
That of course was brought to you by the Kenitron virtually realistic state of the art simulated animation.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Wow that stuff's, that stuff's incredible, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: It really is, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: She looks, she looks real.
VIC ROMANO: Ken, that's because she is real.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Huh? VIC ROMANO: That's Theresa Munch.
You know she's eh, auctions organs on the Internet, and there she is at [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
oh, there's a mandible munch into the Mystery Mud.
What is today's mystery mud, by the way, Ken? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well it's a secret, but I'll tell you it comes to us fresh and piping warm, courtesy of our friends at Hot Carol's Septic Systems.
VIC ROMANO: Well, nobody keeps a secret like you, Ken.
And here's our next contestant, it's Chester Powders, he gets high on eating women's underwear.
And [CROWD NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [VIC YELLS.]
Oh.
I guess that makes him a ongoloid.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed it does, and a dirty, dirty boy.
But here's Charlotte Webb.
She donated her frown muscles, affecting a cheery permanent smile.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: That's kidna like kissing a blowup doll.
VIC ROMANO: Never used mine for kissing, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Huh? VIC ROMANO: Anyways, there goes Charlotte.
[CROWD NOISE.]
Oh.
And she too is down in the mud.
And proudly displaying his coccyx transplant, Cleveland Brown.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Why didn't he get a bigger one? VIC ROMANO: Not talking about his Jimmy Jump, Ken.
Coccyx is his tailbone.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: There goes Cleveland down the steps.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I bet he's got coccyx shock syndrome.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, he just might, Ken.
And Cleveland lines himself up.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Cocks a doodle do.
VIC ROMANO: Okay Ken.
And here comes the goat bladder, and Cleveland's got it.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, yes.
VIC ROMANO: Outstanding, let's go to the Taco Bell replay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He's looking at his cock site.
VIC ROMANO: Okay, Ken, we got it.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: And here goes Cleveland, starting off nicely, and there, what an excellent catch.
Putting the donors in the lead.
Next up, Clay Pigeonton.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Here we go.
All right, come on.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
He's addicted to hand lotions and anything with lanolin.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, kinda like all those lotions you keep next to your computer, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Well nothing worse than a chapped mouse, Ken.
[CROWD NOISE.]
Ooh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
Nice timing.
VIC ROMANO: Ah, no timing whatsoever.
Next up, Tito Latoya.
Tito's donated all his skin pigment, leaving his body a pasty pale white.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: That would make him a palomino.
VIC ROMANO: You mean albino, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Whatever one that gets the pinkeye.
VIC ROMANO: Right.
And here is Tito, he's lined himself up, there's the bladder, oh, he's into the mud.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: And he can't quite, I tell you Ken, that murky man gravy's making it tough on everyone.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I wouldn't want to be them.
MALE 2: Come on.
Let's go.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, and next up, the last of our addicts, Oral Thomas.
Says here he's addicted to the scent of vinyl.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, we call that a bike seat huffer.
VIC ROMANO: Mm.
And it looks like he's got the pedals to the metal here, as he scoots over [CROWD NOISE.]
and oh, no good.
[CROWD NOISE.]
And the donors have taken the lead.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: No way.
VIC ROMANO: Not bad, for people with a bunch of missing body parts, hey? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Ooh, body parts.
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: [LAUGHTER.]
You're thinking of porn, aren't you? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah.
ANNOUNCER: Coming up, the Dash to Death.
Better known as, dammit that hurts.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Woo-hoo.
VIC ROMANO: And we're back.
You know Kenny, there's no greater gift than that of organ donation.
Countless lives are saved every year with this selfless act.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You know what I was thinking? Can I donate my butt? VIC ROMANO: Then where would you keep your brain? [LAUGHTER.]
Let's move on to the Dash of Death.
The object of this challenge is to get across the obstacle course of challenges without getting - KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Dashed to death.
VIC ROMANO: Well done, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Thank you.
VIC ROMANO: And this is Jack Blackman, who's giving everything he's got for the organ donors.
Oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, stumbles there.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, ho ho.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He's a college dude, right? VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken, in fact he's an organ exchange student.
After a lifetime of chain smoking, he received a fresh set of lungs from a Himalayan sherpa.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well, but at the end of the semester the lungs must be returned and he's back on the ventilator.
VIC ROMANO: Student loans are serious business, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey, this guy's looking really good.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, he's set an excellent pace, and there he goes, clambering easily through the spongy bricks.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Wow.
VIC ROMANO: You know, they're blue color is deceiving Ken, they're a lot harder than they look.
And here he goes, moving nimbly past the Nards of Doom.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: There he is.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
VIC ROMANO: Look at him, he just roughly handles those balls, he's got the rope in hand, and he's gone.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What a loser.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, indeed.
And speaking of losers, here's Minnie Fister.
She's a compulsive gambler and chip handler from the Cha-Chinga Indian Reservation Casino.
And [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
there she goes, and oh my.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Damn, I had 20 bucks on her.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Kip Smith.
KIP SMITH: Nah.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What did he say? VIC ROMANO: No idea, Ken.
Kip's a tongue donor.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well how does he lick stamps? VIC ROMANO: That's what e-mail's for, Ken.
[KIP GRUNTS.]
Oh.
He takes it on the head.
KIP SMITH: Agahah.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Ooh.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, and into the Grinder.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: And here's Johnny Cheadle.
JOHNNY CHEADLE: I'm gonna win.
VIC ROMANO: He's addicted to fabric softeners.
MALE 2: Let's go chief, yeah.
VIC ROMANO: And he takes off nicely.
Look at him go.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, he's down there for a second.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What's the big thrill with fabric softener? VIC ROMANO: Well Ken, not only are his clothes spring time fresh, but his breath is bouncy soft.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: And there he goes onto the trampoline.
Into the sponges.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He's, he's started off with tons of spunk, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
Wads and wads of determination.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: But I think he's left most of it on the course.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, it does appear he is slowing down a bit.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, no, you know- VIC ROMANO: Still struggling through though, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He is, boy he is determined, but uh, I think he's done.
I think he's spent.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken.
Sadly, most addicts rarely have the character or gumption to finish what they start.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
And there you see, he's completely given up on himself.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You don't think he'll hurt himself, do you Vic? VIC ROMANO: Don't be silly Ken.
That would require too much effort.
DWAYNE HASSELHOFF: Donors rule.
VIC ROMANO: Next up for the donors is Dwayne Hasselhoff.
And there he goes [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
, takes a dingle ball in the head, and ow.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What did he donate? VIC ROMANO: Looks like everything now, Ken.
STEVE SMILEY: I'm Steve, and I'm gonna win this competition for my team.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well, that's a good attitude.
VIC ROMANO: Not really Ken, you see, Steve Smiley is hopelessly addicted to optimism.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
STEVE SMILEY: Ooh, I'm so god at this.
Jump down, and oh, I can do this, I was born to win.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: well it looks like his positive attitude's paying off here, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: I don't know Ken.
Self-esteem is one of the most dangerous things taught in our schools today.
You know that baseless self-confidence kills more people in America each year than bathtubs? STEVE SMILEY: No, I'm bad, I'm horrible, I'm worthless, why would VIC ROMANO: -Couldn't agree more.
LANCE BOLTON: What up, G? VIC ROMANO: And shnizzling his fizzizzle is Lance Bolton.
And he's off.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What did you say? VIC ROMANO: Well Ken, I was referring to the fact that he's a hip hop donor.
[LAUGHTER.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Huh? VIC ROMANO: Well you see, not only did he donate most of his pelvis, but also his ability to jump.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
And he's down.
Ha ha, I guess he didn't have all his freak on, hey Ken? [LAUGHTER.]
Okay.
Here's Roman Fife.
ROMAN FIFE: [PORN MUSIC SOUND.]
VIC ROMANO: He's addicted to adult film soundtracks.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey, that's whackin' music.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
And speaking of whacking, he takes a dingle ball to the head.
ROMAN FIFE: [PORN MUSIC SOUND.]
VIC ROMANO: And he's back up on his feet.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Whoa, went right through the Grinder.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he did.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Sounds like he's providing his own soundtrack, there, Ken.
And there he goes.
Well done.
Into the contraceptive sponges.
Ah, best, ooh, looks like he's gonna make it, Ken.
There he is.
And one final swing over the Pool of Stool.
ROMAN FIFE: [PORN MUSIC SOUND.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: See, porn is good.
He just won one for the addicts.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken.
But I think we need to go the Taco Bell replay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: All right.
VIC ROMANO: Now you see right here, all seems normal.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Uh-huh.
Oh.
VIC ROMANO: Whacked by the dingle ball.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah.
VIC ROMANO: But it's right here, Ken, right here.
Do you see that? That is Fife's pancreas.
He has spontaneously donated.
Do you know what that means? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: The pool of stool is contaminated? VIC ROMANO: No, technically, he has scored for both teams and we are all tied up.
[ MUSIC .]
ANNOUNCER: Coming up, Surf Boards from Hell.
[ MUSIC .]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: We're back.
Hey Vic, tell us about your days as a drunk.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, hey I wouldn't know where to start Ken, I mean, so much happened back then, let's see.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, shorten it.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, okay, well, uh, first of all I wasn't thinking very clearly, uh, that's one thing.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Did you used to stumble around and hit your head and stuff? VIC ROMANO: Oh, yes indeed, I've fallen off many a bar stool there, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Did you ever get fired from a job? VIC ROMANO: No, fortunately I was an airline pilot back then, so nobody noticed.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What do you miss more, the booze or flying? VIC ROMANO: Ooh, to tell you the truth Ken, I don't really remember either one.
[LAUGHTER.]
Anyways, let's go on to our next game.
[ MUSIC .]
It's time for the Rotating Surfboard of Death.
Catch a wave, dodge the dolphin, or die.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: That sounds like fun, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Except for the rotating surfboard of death part, Kenny.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, yeah.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: And let's go to our first contestant.
It's Betty Cash.
She's hooked on expired dairy products.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, who doesn't like cutting old cheese.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
Oh, and it looks like she's met her expiration date.
And next up, little Jimmy Sockets.
Who has generously donated his kneecaps to an arthritic glory hole operator.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, he's doing pretty good without knees.
VIC ROMANO: Well Ken, you know, recent studies have shown that the knees are one of the human body's most overrated set of joints.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I thought it was the lung.
VIC ROMANO: Just the left one.
Oh, and he's down.
Sorry to see that.
Next up are the addicts.
It's Benjamin Morris, he's addicted to lead paint chips.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: In his house? VIC ROMANO: No, in his mouth, Ken.
Little wobbly at first, and there he is over the dolphin, oh, and he is fin-nished.
[LAUGHTER.]
See, the dolphin, fin, anyway, here's Nicky Marshall.
She's an undecided donor, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: An undecided donor.
Hey, I, I know a body part she can give me.
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: Oh, there she is, from a sister squad into a girly gurney.
She's up on the platform.
And a nice landing, a [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
, oh, and she gets snared.
Next up, Sherwood Schwarzkopf.
He's addicted to re-runs of Gilligan's Island, and admits to an unhealthy interest in Mrs.
Howell.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, he took it on the ginger.
VIC ROMANO: He sure did, Ken.
And next up is Willy Etra.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I understand he gives blood every day.
VIC ROMANO: He sure does, Ken, and it clearly shows.
He has no energy.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: Committed, yes, but listless.
The fatigue definitely getting to him as he ambles lethargically across the platform and he dozes off.
And next up, Harriet Hardaway.
HARRIET HARDAWAY: I love Guy.
VIC ROMANO: You'll get a kick out of this, Ken.
She claims she's actually addicted to Guy LaDouche.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: She's got the hots for Guy? VIC ROMANO: That's what it says.
Oh, she tries to get over the dolphin and she's down.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
The Taco Bell replay, she had some trouble early on.
Maybe thinking about the Guy, huh? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Maybe she thought the dolphin was Guy.
[LAUGHTER.]
GUY LE DOUCHE: So what's it like, here you're standing next to your addiction, I am only inches from your body, what do you think? HARRIET HARDAWAY: You uh.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Well I thought maybe I could sign a picture for you, or you could come back to the Guy dressing room, and I could show you my many pith helmets.
HARRIET HARDAWAY: Well.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Or maybe my lotions and my aftershave.
HARRIET HARDAWAY: You're icky.
VIC ROMANO: I couldn't agree more.
And here's Dick Tayback.
Born without equilibrium, he recently received the gift of new eardrums from a potbellied pig.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: A pig's eardrum? Why'd he do that? VIC ROMANO: It's called HMO, my friend.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: Besides, pigs are known for their excellent sense of balance.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
[KENNY GRUNTS.]
Doesn't appear to have helped him here, though.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: No.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Maryellen Starch.
MARYELLEN STARCH: Call me.
VIC ROMANO: She's addicted to short term relationships.
Let's see how she does.
And she oh, man.
Next up, is Pamela Sanderson.
She's a headhunter for a major organ donor foundation.
She takes off nicely, and ooh, oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: These chicks just don't know how to handle the pink dolphin.
VIC ROMANO: Well it's a learned skill, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Mm-hmm.
PEPITO ORTIZ: Pepito va a ganar.
Si.
VIC ROMANO: And next up, Pepito Ortiz.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey, wait a minute, it doesn't say if he's an addict or a donor.
VIC ROMANO: Well uh, that's because he's not, Ken.
Pepito's the guy that drives the sandwich truck.
He brings our lunch every day.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh yeah, hey Pepito.
VIC ROMANO: [LAUGHTER.]
I told him he could be on the show.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey kick some ass, buddy.
VIC ROMANO: There he goes.
He seems to be making a good go of it.
Hey! Way to go, sandwich guy.
We're all tied up, and there's plenty more to come, on Extreme Elimination Challenge.
[ MUSIC .]
ANNOUNCER: Don't leave now.
Coming up, the shaft of pain.
Pole riders.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Woo-hoo, we're back.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed we are Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey Vic, tell the folks how you became a stinking drunk.
VIC ROMANO: You mean, chemically dependent, Ken? Well it started out casually, at first, you know, a little uh, drinking, dancing with friends after work.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: Then it was every day.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, you were on top of the world then.
VIC ROMANO: Had a good career, Ken.
Really good.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You were the biggest.
You won two skivvies and a golden earpiece.
VIC ROMANO: Mm-hmm.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You stopped drinking when you hit bottom, right? VIC ROMANO: Pretty much.
Hic.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
anyway.
Let's go on the Brass Ball.
Now the object of the game is for contestants to grab their balls and get across that bridge.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: And we're back with Benjamin Morris, our lead paint addict.
Coming across here.
Oh, and he gets chipped.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: That's it for Benji.
Next up, Pablo Sands.
You know, he donated his vas deferens.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: That takes balls, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
And by the way, he's moving tentatively, looks like somebody took his.
Ho, ho.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: And he is down and own.
And here's young Tori Bellings.
You know she's addicted to family values.
The Captain had a chance to talk with her earlier.
TORI BELLINGS: I was the youngest of eight, all brothers, all lousy kissers.
VIC ROMANO: I know how she feels, Ken.
My brothers were pretty shoddy lip lockers as well.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, I guess that explains your drinking problem.
VIC ROMANO: I'm sorry, I don't follow you, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Uh, whatever.
Let's get back to Tori.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, right you are, Ken.
And look at her go.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, getting slammed by black balls.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed she is, and she's taking every one of 'em like a trouper.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Very steady, very deliberate.
Look at that concentration.
VIC ROMANO: Unbelievable.
I tell you Ken, it looks like she's gonna make it all the way.
She steadies herself, and there she is, towards the end.
I think this may be it.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: She's out of range.
One more to the keister, she takes it, and chalk up another win for the addicts.
VIC ROMANO: Unbelievable.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey I bet her brothers are really gonna be excited.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, and speaking of aroused siblings, let's go to Pole Riders.
Now the object of the game is easy.
Just firmly grip the head of the shaft and go from one end to the other without getting wet.
First up, glue sniffer Elmer White.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, he started out good, but he couldn't stick it.
Next up is Syd Reese, he's a donor.
SYD REESE: Oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Now he needs one.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he does, Ken.
And here's Craig Jacobs.
He's hooked on illegal cock fighting.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: That's illegal? My brother and I used to do that all the time.
VIC ROMANO: Uh, you're thinking of restroom swordplay my friend.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, and that was Dick Tayback wiping out.
Here's Chauncey Umbrick, he's hooked on phonetics.
CHAUNCEY UMBRICK: Aah.
VIC ROMANO: He hits hard, but he has made it.
Let's go to our Taco Bell replay.
Well you can see here Ken, he takes off nicely.
But it's right about here he loses it.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
That dude should be dead.
VIC ROMANO: Clinically he is, Ken.
Those are just muscle spasms, much like when you cut the head off of a chicken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Or bite the head off your hamster.
VIC ROMANO: That's enough, Ken.
And here's Eric Stevens.
Boy I tell you Ken, it looks like the donors are having trouble with this event.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: They got less to work with.
VIC ROMANO: Good observation.
Here's Sidney Caprice.
SIDNEY CAPRICE: Eagh.
VIC ROMANO: He's stuck on Liberace memorabilia.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Liberace, eh? SIDNEY CAPRICE: I love him.
GUY LE DOUCHE: What do you have of his? SIDNEY CAPRICE: His favorite hand towel.
GUY LE DOUCHE: You have a hand towel? SIDNEY CAPRICE: Watch what I can do with it.
Look, look down here.
GUY LE DOUCHE: You have a hand towel of one of the most flamboyant entertainers Las Vegas has ever known? SIDNEY CAPRICE: Yeah, see that? GUY LE DOUCHE: What? VIC ROMANO: Thank you, Guy.
Insightful as always.
And here's Willy Etra.
Ooh, falling hard.
And coming up is the last chance for the addicts, it's Gavin Lewis.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, nailed it there.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, indeed he did, and that gives the win to the addicts' camp.
Let's look at it again.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
VIC ROMANO: What a great competition.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, you know, I just hope the organ donors don't feel rejected.
VIC ROMANO: Mm-hmm.
Well, there's our victorious team of addicts running to the doors of treasure.
Well, what's in the prize van this week, Kenny? A washer, a dryer, some luggage, a new car, perhaps? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Better'n that Vic, I got two words for you: Kilo.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
VIC ROMANO: Kenny, that's not what I think it is, is it? How could you do that? That's despicable.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, don't worry, it's not that, it's powdered milk, come on, they're junkies, they don't know the difference.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
VIC ROMANO: You're a mean man, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yes, I am.
VIC ROMANO: Uh, hey but you know what time it is? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh yeah.
VIC ROMANO: It's Kenny Blankenship's Painful Eliminations of the Day and Stuff.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Number 10, showing off his soiled panties is Cleveland Brown.
Now he's just one giant skid mark.
Willy Etra, pole rider, he just couldn't get a grip on the shaft.
Benjamin Morris, he's down with his balls.
This is Sherwood Schwarzkopf teasing the pink dolphin.
Oral Thomas, three times and he still can't catch it.
Duane Hasselhoff, number five, into the Grinder.
Looks a lot better going this way, probably feels better too.
Maryellen Starch, bet she'll be stiff tomorrow.
Hip hopster Lance Bolton, jizzled all over his fizzizzle mizzle.
You should have spent more time on the course, dawg, less time at the gay rape clubs.
Number two, Chauncey Umbrick, may he rest in peace.
A moment of silence for a great pole rider.
All right, moment's over.
And my number one most painful elimination goes to Roman Fife.
Took a couple of balls to his chin, and then had the courtesy to get up and donate his pancreas right in the middle of the games.
A true painful elimination champion.
VIC ROMANO: So what do we always say? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Right, come on guys.
CROWD: Don't get eliminated.