Mr Sunshine s01e02 Episode Script

Hey,man.
You know,today's my tenth anniversary of working here.
Can you believe that? Ten years.
That's quite an accomplishment.
I'm sure they're gonna throw a huge party for me.
Morning,ben.
Okay,everyone.
Could I get your attention,please? Bring it in.
Today is a big,big day.
Our favorite teen pop star,eli cutler,is performing tonight.
And why is he our favorite? Eli fills all 17,505 seats in this place, so I need everyone to be on their toes.
Now unless anyone has another announcement or, uh,you know,some kind of achievement or,uh,workplace anniversary I have an announcement.
Alonzo has an announcement.
I think we have time for one more.
Well,I don't want to embarrass anyone But I'd like to take a second to acknowledge an important milestone for one of our own.
Congratulations Heather.
Heather.
Yes,of course.
Congratulations,heather.
After a lot of hard work,heather is graduating from her internship program in association with the alonzo pope home for troubled teens.
Heather will be moving on from her job as ben's assistant,so Well,heather,i,uh,I- I know we'll all be so sad to see you go.
Uh,not really,because she burns people.
She lights people on fire,and then,uh,you know,they burn up.
Aw,she's supercute,though.
This is a,uh,really bittersweet moment.
So many emotions.
Oh,I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Today's the day.
She's gonna kill someone today.
Thank you,heather.
Heather is going to be training roman to be my new assistant.
Ah,the owner's son.
As it happens,yes,but in his defense, during his very brief time here, he has demonstrated little or no skill at anything.
That is correct,sir.
I have yet to find my niche.
Get off the step and just go back to where you were.
So unless anyone has any other,uh,announcements or anything to celebrate Really?Nothing? Nothing else? - I have an announcement! - There's something else.
- We're having a contest! - We're having a con- In the same spirit that drove america to defeat all those lazy countries and win the statue of liberty, i'm holding a contest today for the sunshine center's most valuable employee.
How would a contest like that work,though? Because we all have different jobs.
I'll tell you how it works.
Wow me.
Wow you? Wow me.
Now you're just repeating the same thing over and over.
I know someone who doesn't want to win a prize.
Who wants to see it? Who wants to see it?Bring it out,boys A brand-new golf cart to use around the sunshine center just like mol! you know,we haven't been around each other a lot, and,uh,now that we're working together,what should I call you? Whatever you're comfortable with,dear.
Okay,mo- Mother.
She's gone,man.
Get ahold of yourself.
- Here,babe.
- Oh,thanks,sweetie.
I can't believe everyone's so excited to win something my nana uses to get her mail.
Yeah,people get crazy about competition.
I don't have time for it,though.
I've got kids coming in for eli cutler, so I'm gonna recuse myself.
Recuse yourself? I'm sorry,baby.
That's a Sophisticated way of saying I'm gonna take myself out of it.
I - I know what it means.
i - I'm just a little surprised you think you have to do that.
Well,it's just that running the arena's charity and outreach program gives me a natural advantage.
I mean,what's more valuable than helping people? - Yeah.
I suppose.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
But then Maybe I should recuse myself.
I mean I got the socal wireless people coming in for a pretty big deal today.
This is a business.
What's more valuable than bringing in a ton of money? All right,well, at the end of the day,who's to say who is more valuable than who? Crystal.
Crystal's gonna say,at the end of the day,who's more valuable than who.
Crystal,this contest is a terrible idea.
We have a sellout tonight,and you're gonna have everybody running around trying to wow you for a golf cart, and I'm gonna end up having to do everybody's jobs.
Oh,benjamin.
Was I ever that young? What are you-what are you- What are you doing? the competition isn't real.
What's the matter with your eye? What the hell's happening right now? The most valuable employee has already been chosen.
Oh,you're winking at me.
Well,that's very thoughtful of you,crystal.
After all these years,you continue to surprise me.
I ask you,could there be a better way to acknowledge someone who has meant so much to me for so long than a fake company-wide competition? I answer you No,there-there's no answer for that.
Do you think the others are gonna be mad when they don't get it? They'll never know,and it'll only make them do their jobs better.
Why are my fingers glued together? What are you two doing?You're supposed to be setting up chairs.
Painting crystal's office.
Question- What says "wow" to you the most,eggshell or vintage ribbon? Vintage ribbon.
And I have a question for you- Go set up the concert floor right now! - Vintage ribbon.
- Of course.
Everybody back.
Back.
Back.
Come on,girls.
Trevon,you're supposed to be head of security.
Who let in all these screaming girls and that fat guy? Okay,I saw these flowers growing in the parking lot, and-and I thought they matched crystal's eyes.
Well,would you get back to work? Eli cutler.
Eli cutler.
Eli cutler is here! Where is the talent relations person? Uh,mindy's in the break room fashioning a wonderful clay bust of crystal.
Oh,okay.
So I'll just go ahead and do everybody's job.
Why don't you give me that stupid headset? I'm kidding.
It-it frames your face.
Here.
Have some flowers.
eli! Eli,hi.
Ben donovan.
I'm the,uh,manager of the sunshine center.
We're very happy to have you here.
- You remind me of someone.
- You know who I get a lot David Beckham? - Larry king.
- Larry king? *** Larry king is old.
Larry king is so old that he had to retire from sitting in a chair.
What a brilliant mind,though.
Yeah,I did his show once.
You have his face,but you're Plumper.
Oh,that's cool.
Really hurtful and cool.
Yeah,just go- Just go wherever you want.
Anyway,I think you'll like our accommodations.
We've hosted many pop stars in the past.
.
I'm gonna stop you right there.
I'm not a pop star.
I'm a rock star.
You do have your own saturday morning cartoon,though,right? - Jelly bean? - Yeah.
I like you.
You put me at ease,ask really easy questions.
I'm not larry king.
This is what I'm gonna need.
Oh,I'm sorry.
I- I don't,uh,handle those kind of things.
I'm actually the general manager.
Here's the problem.
I wasn't parented properly,and I'm very rich.
It's a brutal combination.
So I will need you-yes,you- To get me a boxed set of the first season of "brothers & sisters.
" "brothers & sisters"? *** Just 'cause they're grown-up doesn't mean family gets any easier.
Thank you.
What's happening right now? Look,I wish it didn't have to be this way,but I'm a nightmare, and if you don't get it to me in 30 minutes,i'm not going on,so Sorry,larry.
Hey,ben.
Do you think this looks like crystal? I think i'm all alone in the world.
So ben gets moody before his morning coffee, so try not to say "hello" too loud or ever use the expression "what up?" "what up?" and he gets a massage every tuesday at 3:00.
Does he like it gentle,or can I really get in there? Oh,the trainer does it.
Oh.
"do not massage ben.
" what are you doing? Think this'll wow crystal? No,I'm almost positive this is the way crystal sees the world anyway.
Here's a question,though.
Who's setting up the lights for the concert? Heather,because mindy got held up at the kiln, i'm gonna need you to get the first season of "brothers & sisters" on dvd.
"brothers & sisters"? Just because they're grown-up doesn't mean family gets any easier.
Hey,uh,crystal,can we talk? Do you drive a late model blue cherokee that was parked precariously close to my blind spot? - No.
- Then yes,we can talk.
Oh,okay.
Well,I just thought you'd like to know that I've arranged with eli cutler's people to get a bunch of autographed swag to fill the socal wireless suite, so I am going to close this very valuable deal during the concert tonight.
Well,that is very impressive.
- "close deal.
" - It is.
- Oh,hello,alonzo.
- Hello.
Oh,yeah.
Am I mistaken,or did I see you earlier with a group of blind children? You are not mistaken.
I invited them to the concert tonight.
Well,that is very impressive,too.
"blind children.
" I envy the blind.
I sometimes think i,too,would give my sight to play the piano that way.
All right,buddy.
You don't know what you're up against.
I grew up with five moron brothers.
I had to compete just to eat.
Oh,just so you know,I spent nine years in the nba.
You know what that stands for? "no boys allowed.
" "no boys allowed.
" - That's not cool.
- That's not cool.
That- Is Yeah.
See,that's what I thought.
Recuse yourself,baby.
Recuse it! Have you seen the swag for the socal wireless people? I saw alonzo give a bunch of autographed frisbees to blind kids.
You're not serious.
I thought I was,but now that I say it out loud, it does sound a little silly.
He's going down.
I can't wait to see his stupid,fat face when I win that cart.
- Al,I think maybe you should prepare yourself - I'm gonna win it.
Okay.
Lose yourself.
You found it.
Sorry.
Uh,did I hear a mob of girls out there? Uh,yes.
Uh,security is gonna Here's what I need from you now.
Uh,I-I have a million things to do before the concert and not a lot of help.
Find the hottest girl and get me her number.
You want me to get the number of a teenage girl?Are you serious? I am serious.
I canceled a concert in toronto once, because someone couldn't find me a spicy enough crab roll,and I hate seafood.
You're gonna slam the door in my face again,aren't you? I wish I didn't have to.
I know this is gonna sound creepy and weird, but could I have your phone number? - Sure.
- Sure? Just like that? - Why don't I just give you a ride home,too? - - Okay.
Oh,my god.
I do not approve of this behavior,young lady.
That is dangerous.
Is that an eight? Okay.
Great.
Thanks.
Alice? Are you actually taking frisbees from blind children? Did you actually give frisbees to blind children? they're souvenirs,so they can remember the night.
Right,so while playing catch at the beach, they can look at eli cutler's autograph and remember how special this was.
Oh,wait.
No,they can't,because they can't see! Hey,we can hear,you know.
Oh,god.
I just stole frisbees from blind children.
I just got a hot teenage girl's phone number.
- I'll see ya.
- Yeah.
Not even close.
Ben,I don't think I can be your assistant.
I can't type,I can't work the phones And I'm not positive I know what the internet is.
- Have you ever lit a man on fire? - No.
You're my guy.
Ben,there's a traffic jam outside the arena, because the parking guys are at crystal's house detailing her cars, and no one's unlocked the main gate.
You probably have bolt cutters under your desk.
Come on,man! What's going on?! Move it or lose it! Let's go already! I went to college.
Crystal,I really need to talk- Is that a cake constructed entirely out of churros? Believe it,bro.
Show's in an hour.
Are the concession stands ready? Yes,except for the churro ones,obviously.
You have jobs.
Go do them.
A giant churro cake? Mama says,"wow.
" Crystal,I really appreciate what you're trying to do with this contest- Me more so than anyone- But it's time to end it.
It's really,really,really,really,really time.
I agree,benjamin.
Got a light? No,I don't.
Sunshine center family,it is with great pleasure, excitement,and pleasure that I announce to you my most valuable employee.
The golf cart goes to - Roman! - What? - Really? - Yeah.
What?Really? Go and get it,son.
Yeah!Yeah!I won!Gimme five!Gimme five!Gimme five! America!America! The system works,people! - Believe in the system! - Are you kidding? Chastity bono wins it? I really love this bow!It's humongous! How did you even tie this?A giant had to tie this.
you gave the golf cart to roman? Well,of course.
It was my plan all along to get closer to my son.
How can throwing a fake contest make you closer to your son? And can you turn all of this stuff off,please? Wow.
You can do that from right there?That's pretty cool.
It's very cool.
This may come as a surprise to you,benjamin,but I know a thing or two about parenting.
A mother can't just give her child a gift out of love.
I thought you were gonna give the golf cart to me.
- Why would you think that? - Because of the wink! The "i'm giving the golf cart to roman" wink? Well,that's way too much information for a wink! Today is my tenth anniversary of working here.
Tenth anniversary?Really? Well,that is something.
Yes,it is.
It is something.
And I stupidly thought I was gonna get some kind of acknowledgment from you for ten years of putting up with stupid contests and having to do everyone's job and having to jump through hoops for you and every spoiled pop star that comes through this place.
Well Then let me simply right this wrong.
Benjamin donovan, I acknowledge you.
oh,Don't touch my face again.
Well,the concert's about to begin anyway.
- Take the rest of the night off.
- I don't want the rest of the night off.
I want the golf cart.
But the golf cart isn't yours to have.
It's my secret gift of love to roman.
Well,then I want something of equal or greater value.
I want a snowmobile or some kind of small boat.
I want a snow boat that can sail across ice and certain lakes, and I'm gonna stand here until you give me a snow boat that can sail across ice and certain lakes! Careful,benjamin.
I don't enjoy having demands made of me.
Besides,I think I've been very generous.
When?Is the churro cake mine? Did- Did I miss the churro cake wink? Eli cutler is refusing to go on.
- Benjamin.
- Well,it's my night off.
Good luck with everything.
Benjamin.
Benjamin! Benjamin,I need you! What should I do? Isn't this so cool? Hey,way to go.
You really earned it.
Thank you,myrna.
You're welcome.
Everyone's really being nice.
Yeah.
I'm gonna miss people here.
Yeah.
Some more than others.
I wish you didn't have to leave.
Me,too.
I feel like I'm being punished for being good.
If only there was a way I could stay here without having to pull out the old gas can.
I don't think I know that expression.
We've got a riot on our hands,but,hey,enjoy your night off.
You know what? I was just about to get in my car and drive away and not even care what happened here tonight.
But I couldn't do it.
You know why? Who cares? I couldn't do it because I love this place.
and it's my job to make sure they have a good time.
And tonight all of those people are here for you, so what's the problem? I'm worried my-my music's no good.
What? What about,uh,"baby no baby"? That one's good.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
And "no place like school"? That's about my school.
Listen,you're really good at this.
And I know good music.
Last year,bono was sitting on this very couch.
You met bono? Well,no,I mean,he-he didn't let me in, but you've got to assume he was sitting on this couch at some point.
Anyway,sometimes you just need someone to tell you that you're good at your job.
So this is me Telling you that.
You really think I'm good? I do.
"dance,dance,dance Dance"- It actually made me want to dance.
Oh,that's great,because that was the intention.
Oh,wow,I can't believe you know all my songs.
Well,I guess I have a show to do.
Thanks,man.
You're good at your job,too.
Go get 'em,rock star.
*** You know,a little while ago,a friend helped me through a dark place, so this song goes out to Some guy who works here.
This song is "dance,dance,dance that's me,you know- "some guy who works here.
" Oh,you're not just some guy who works here.
You know,ben,you're so good at what you do around here that sometimes I forget to say thank you ,so Thank you for the last eight years.
You're welcome,boss.
You know it's been ten years,though,right? Yeah,but the first two were kinda "eh.
" ? I think I know what that last one meant,and no.
I have to say,despite the kerfuffle it caused, giving that golf cart to roman could be just the thing that gets us back on track.
He seems to really love it.
this is for you,heather.
Well,benjamin, i'm off to the mysterious life that I lead outside this place.
Good night,crystal.
sorry,*** *** ***