My Unorthodox Life (2021) s01e02 Episode Script

1
[dramatic music playing]
- [Donat] What is going on?
- [model, crying] I'm in a fucking cell
[Robert] Why did they arrest you?
'Cause I had freaking weed on me
- Oh, God
- [Julia] Oh, my God. Weed?
What the fuck? That's ridiculous
I promise you right now,
I'm not upset at you
I promise I'm going to give you
a different opportunity
This is so crazy
I give you my word. You are amazing
- Thank you
- I really love you
If I wasn't in the middle of my own show,
I'd come down there,
but I'm literally sending you all my love
- I love you! Thank you!
- Don't cry! Oh my God. I feel so bad
Let's move this, okay?
- Can we get her someone there?
- Yes, I'm on it right now
[Julia] I wish that I could go down
and hug her and protect her,
and make that sure everything is okay
Unfortunately, I've got a fashion show
There are people counting on me,
and now I have to kill one of the looks
I have to be responsible,
and I have do the right thing
- [Adut] I have all my family members here
- [Julia] Really?
Making me proud. Let's do it! Okay, guys!
Fierce, you, strong, independent! [kisses]
Love you so much!
Here we go, I hear silence
Serenity now, serenity now
[Miriam] It's starting!
- [crowd cheering]
- It's like a forced behavior ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
I'm the motivator ♪
Yeah, yeah ♪
- I'm the force of nature ♪
- Yeah, yeah ♪
It's like a forced behavior ♪
[singer vocalizing]
It's like balls behavior ♪
- [Lais] I hope they scream for me
- [Robert] They will, honey, I'll scream
[Julia] They bett
I'm gonna scream for you
They better scream for you
- [upbeat music playing]
- [audience cheering]
Yes, queen!
[Bebe] Miss Julia Haart! Come out, bitch!
[crowd cheering]
[Julia] This is probably
one of the happiest days of my life
It isn't just about the clothing,
it's everything it stands for
about individuality
Not being ashamed of who you are,
what you believe in, what you look like
[cheering]
[all] That was amazing! Bravo!
I love you guys so much
I just feel really grateful
I'm so, so happy
Can I go back so they can touch me up
'cause I cried?
[Robert] We need to fix the hair
- And my eyes
- [Robert] Fix the makeup
Okay, how are we looking?
That's good, right?
- [Robert] No, we need more
- I still look scary
[Robert] No more crying!
[Julia] Let's watch some TV
[grunts]
- Ah, ah, ah! Uh
- Perfect. [laughing]
I don't know what I did, though
I pressed like 17 things
I literally miss the days
when televisions just turned on,
and you could watch something
- [Silvio chuckles]
- It's not funny!
- [Silvio] You switched it off. [laughing]
- Seriously
Why couldn't we have had
a normal television?
- Don't know
- [sighs]
[Julia] Last night was so great
I just wish Bat and I
didn't get into that argument
about Batsheva wanting to wear pants
and Binyamin not letting her
It's normal. In a couple, there's somebody
who's a little bit forward
and somebody who is a little bit behind
I hate the fact that she still feels
like she needs to ask permission
I don't think she does
She tries to move as a couple
No, like you and I,
we're both very strong individuals
- We're both
- No. I'm very accommodating
- You know it
- Uh-huh, uh-huh
- [laughing]
- But my point is that you don't impose
your opinions on me,
and I don't impose my opinions on you
Your change came
when you left your community
When you decided,
"I completely change my life
and my approach to life."
I think this is part
of their common journey
of really leaving the closed community
they were coming from
[Julia] I've never been the person
who thinks that I know what my kids want,
but I do know what
every human being has a right to have,
and that is freedom, choices
And that's what I want for my children
I want them to leave
the fundamentalist kind of thinking,
and to be themselves
[Silvio] I mean, for her, it's a process
For him, it's a process as well
- Yeah
- Yeah
He is probably starting
to get ready to hear this,
he for sure was not ready before
Yeah. I mean,
Binyamin is such a good guy. I love him
- I think it will come
- I hope so. I hope so
Otherwise, I'm gonna have to figure out
a way to make it come
[both laughing]
[Miriam] Mom, your fashion show
last night was insane!
[Julia] Thank you, my love
So I've got e1972
Not to mention, I'm CEO
and co-owner of Elite World
You know, all the stuff I'm doing,
I have not taken a single day of vacation
But, you know, the more difficult
the task, the greater the reward
- The shapewear came today
- Yes! Are you serious?
- It's here. I know
- My God. That's so cool
People sometimes just feel more confident
if they know everything's
- [Miriam] Is where it should be
- Where it should be!
- Yeah
- My 49-year-old boobs won't stay in place
- [Miriam chuckles]
- Yours and mine both
[all laughing]
Don't you wear, in tennis
What do you wear for tennis?
- You have like
- Oh, those are nipple guards
- Yeah, lest I chafe
- What?
I don't understand!
How do your boobs chafe? Like, it bounces?
[laughing]
- First off, rude. Very rude
- [Miriam laughs] Sorry
- "Bounces"! Lord in Heaven
- [laughing]
No, no,
it's because of my athletic ability
All of the jostling of fabric
[laughing]
- Robert Brotherton
- [Robert] Okay
- Let me go grab Michele
- [Julia] Yes, please
and then we can start the fitting
- [Miriam] Okay
- [Julia] Good
Do you remember when I got this idea?
This was like
one of your first ideas, right?
It's been two years of R&D, literally
Wow, wow
My mom and I, we have a lot
of shared experiences
about leaving the community,
and always supporting each other
And so, lately I've been thinking a lot
about what my name represents
and what I represent
Um
Yeah, no, I was thinking of changing
my last name to Haart
Really?
Yeah. I think I want to make it
official now. That is my last name
Official, as in legal?
- [Miriam] Yes
- Like me?
I guess, like, Miriam Tova Hendler
Like, that whole identity
is not me anymore,
and it represents things
that make me uncomfortable
Haart represents everything I want to be,
you know?
Freedom, independence, acceptance
- And so Inclusive
- If I cry, I ruin my makeup
So don't make me cry, but wow
- Yeah
- That's so amazing!
Mm-hmm
I think the two of us were the ones
who felt the most imprisoned in our world
And, you know, to me, Hendler,
especially as a married name
to someone I didn't want to be married to,
it was really like a prison name
And so, Haart was my freedom name
It's a reminder of who we were
and what was done to us
before we took control of our lives
Wow. But you know Abba is going
to freak the fuck out
I know! [chuckles]
- Are you nervous about it?
- Yeah
You got to make it so that he understands
it isn't about him
Say, "I'm still your daughter
I'll always be your daughter."
"I love you, I respect you,
but that name is synonymous
with a world where I wasn't allowed
to run, to dance, to sing,
to ride a bicycle, to play sports."
"I wasn't allowed to do anything."
- Yeah
- Hopefully, he'll understand
And if if not, at least
you've been honest with him,
but he's gonna freak out
- Yeah
- Just warning
[Julia] I'm a bit nervous
about her telling Yosef, honestly,
because, nothing negative towards him,
but I would think
how I would feel as a parent
if my child came to me, and said,
"Hey, I'm relinquishing your name."
That could be a very painful
and offensive kind of comment
So I think it's really important
that she tells him now
And of course, I think it's a good idea
for her to do it when I'm around,
so if it gets really gnarly,
I can kind of
come in and smooth things over
and explain as well
- You're the best
- We were born to be strong ♪
We were born to be strong ♪
[Robert] How are you?
It's good to see you
[both] Mwah, mwah
This looks amazing
We've got underpinnings if you want
- I'd love that, actually
- [Michele] Here, look
[Robert] Oh, this is perfect
- Maybe you can try these on underneath?
- Yeah, I appreciate that
Yeah. This is shapewear, right?
You're exposed
It's important we have
things like this on-hand for you
It means a lot to me
I'm not really used to that. [giggles]
- Oh really?
- Yeah
- Just been some experiences, I guess
- Oh really?
- In fittings?
- Mm-hmm
I'm just used to being
pushed outside my comfort zone
Whenever I set a boundary,
getting pushed a bit over it
You know, it sticks with you
I still carry it with me today
- Like, two days ago, I had a panic attack
- No
Yeah, and I still get nervous,
and, like, I still have a bit
of apprehension with work,
but I am really thankful to be able
to be in an environment like this
I'm so glad you shared with me. Thank you
It's so important for me
as Chief Operating Officer,
one of the leaders of this company,
to ensure that we're at the forefront
of making this industry safe
for the women
that we support, protect, and work for
A model who comes into a fitting
and feels uncomfortable,
that's something
we have to address immediately
We have to make sure she's taken care of
- We're ready
- [Julia] It's happening
- Is it insane?
- [Robert] All hanging, looking good
But I just want to tell you,
one of the girls, Bridget,
shared a story with me
about an experience
she had had in the industry
where she'd been harassed on set
- Do we know what happened to her?
- I don't know exactly what happened
- Okay
- but she just said it's lingering
- [Julia] Got to clean up this industry
- Yeah
Hi! [chuckling]
[Julia] Guys, you look amazing!
Can you believe this?
Have you ever seen shapewear
that looks like this before?
- Feels amazing
- [Julia] Does it suck everything in?
- Everywhere in the right spot
- Yes!
Ah, this is amazing
- If you notice, there's no seams
- [Bridget] Mm
So if you're wearing
something super tight underneath,
it doesn't make any difference
because you can't see a seam
- [Robert] This went well
- [Julia] Great
- Guys
- Can I approve the order?
Yes! Order approved
On to production. Is there places
for everyone to go change?
[Michele] Yeah, there's two places there,
two here
The fact that still today, after Me Too,
after everything that's gone on,
that women are still being used,
humiliated, and sexualized
So frustrating
- So nice to meet you
- Yeah, you too
You want to say hi
in my office for a minute?
- Yeah, I'd love to
- Come on in
To me, this is supposed to be
an industry to help women
Robert had mentioned that, you know,
you were a little nervous walking in
So I just wanted to know if it was okay?
Like, what happened?
- If you don't mind sharing
- I don't mind
Um, you know, as a model, it can be hard
to set boundaries
I've come on set and I've been like,
"I don't want to shoot nudity,"
and then, next minute,
someone's just pushed and pushed
until I'm shooting completely nude
And so I said, "This isn't a nude shoot."
He's like, "Don't worry,
- I won't publish any of the nudes."
- If you're not publishing it, then why
I was like, "I'm not comfortable with you
having me butt-naked in your computer."
- But, you know, it was a big shoot!
- You were too scared to speak up
And he just kept pushing me
There was one shot, I remember
- Fucking bastard!
- I know
I was outside and there was a bunch
of people in the street watching me
And I was like, "I'm not comfortable."
I'm butt-naked holding a coat up
Like, I'm not comfortable
Outside?
Outside. He was like, "Nah
Just keep going. It's fine, don't worry."
I started crying and walked off set
The only time I've done that
Good for you!
I've had agents be like,
"Don't name the name."
"You don't want clients
to think you'll talk shit."
I'm like, "I'm not talking shit!
I'm telling the truth!"
Not only did you
go through the traumatic experience,
you're being told to keep silent
Exactly!
This is probably not appropriate to say,
but I literally want to tear limbs
off of this man's body
[voice breaking] It means a lot
that the industry's changing
- Sorry
- No, it should never happen
I'm so sorry, and I I promise you,
I'm fighting this
Good
[Julia] Since the beginning
of coming into this industry,
I've been slowly,
very behind-the-scenes,
kind of getting rid of the dirty old men
that I have found
And I'm going to keep doing that,
because it's going to take a lot of time,
but I'm not going to rest
until every single user and abuser
is kicked out of this industry
[upbeat music playing]
[Batsheva] Shlomo's coming,
and we're making lunch
- This the salad you make on Shabbos?
- Yeah
[Ben] Love it
Finally, you eat salad!
I feel like so many things have changed
since we first got married
- You didn't eat salad
- I didn't eat fish
You didn't eat fish
We didn't do all the other things,
like wearing pants
- [chuckles] Way to stick that in there
- Um
[Ben] I was very uncomfortable
with the idea of Batsheva wearing pants,
but realizing how important it is for her,
and what it means to her,
I realize that what people say about us
or think about us doesn't matter
As long as I have you by my side,
we can do anything together
Love you
Ooh
We are making tuna steaks
and Ben's favorite salad
- [Shlomo] Do you want me to help?
- [Batsheva] You're good. You're our guest
So how's my posing look?
[suave music playing]
Good!
Did you upload photos
to your dating profile?
- Yes, I'm not a creep
- [Batsheva] You're not a catfish?
[Shlomo] No
I really feel like Shlomo should be
getting out there in the dating world
I know that's hard for me
to give him that advice,
being that, like, I've only gone out
with two guys in my entire life
and I married one,
so I don't have that much experience
But as an older sister,
if I give him the encouragement,
"Go on the dating apps,
update your profile, reach out to people,"
it can really encourage him
to take that next step
[Ben] What's this?
This is your main profile picture?
- Me, it
- [Batsheva] You look like a douchebag
- [Shlomo] Thank you
- [Ben] I agree
Why are you not looking at the camera?
If I'm scrolling
and, like, these are the pictures,
- I'd be, "This guy thinks he's the shit."
- [Ben] No
- [Batsheva] No, God!
- [Ben] No, Shlomo
- [Ben laughing] Oh my God!
- [Batsheva] Shlomo!
[Ben] I can see up your nose!
We watched a movie
that reminded us of Shlomo
- What movie?
- The 40-Year-Old Virgin?
[all laughing]
Sorry
We did watch The 40-Year-Old Virgin,
but, no, I don't think
that's gonna be you. [laughing]
Sorry, guys, Mir
Mir is calling me, hold on
Hey, Mir! I'm having lunch with Shlomo
Hey, Mir!
- And Ben
- Hey, Shlom
- What's up, Mir?
- What's up?
- [Ben] We're giving Shlomo
- Tough love?
A little tough love,
on his dating app profile pictures
- Yes! It's creepy otherwise
- [Batsheva] What else is going on?
Um, well, I'm actually going
to talk to Abba, so
About?
Um
Ugh, I wish I could tell you guys
in person, but
um, pretty much, I decided that I want
to legally change my last name to Haart
- Why?
- [Ben] Wait, what?
- Well
- So Yeah
[Batsheva] Why do you need
to talk to Abba about it?
I just want to tell him, you know?
You feel like that's like
ripping off a part of yourself?
Like, what's the what's the goal?
It's just not who I am anymore
It is a life that I escaped
and am no longer a part of,
and, like, all of my better memories
are with my Haart last name
I'll still love everybody else
who decides to keep that name,
but for me, myself, personally,
I just don't want to have it anymore
I think it's interesting that she decided
to really make it official
And I'm sure it came into her mind
that if she changes
her name legally to Haart,
she 100% is gonna gain
a lot of points in my mom's book
But it is stepping away
from her earlier childhood,
I understand
that's where she's coming from,
and I think
that would be hard for my dad to hear
Who's to tell you not to do
what you want to do?
Right. Agreed!
Well, I wish you the best of luck
- Good luck
- Thank you
Good luck, yeah
Let us know how it goes!
[all] Bye
[upbeat music playing]
Oh ♪
I believe in you ♪
Think about how far we've come,
they're all sitting in a room together
So I want them to feel that they have
to be friends with each other
And if anybody starts
to take a negative turn,
seriously, blow your nose,
fart, do something
Sure, fart. No problem
- Let's do it
- Yeah
- [Julia] Hello!
- [Robert] Hey, guys
[all greeting]
[man] Danger!
Thank you, thank you. I love a cape
Superwoman
[all laughing]
Thank you for coming
First of all, some of you
have traveled literally very far
Italy, France. I know
how much Nathalie likes to travel
- It was terrible!
- [all laughing]
So, we have all the heads
of all the different agencies,
but we also have the heads
of the new divisions we've created
in the last year. We need to know
each other on a personal level
I think everyone knows
my name is Robert Brotherton
I'm the Chief Operating Officer
of Elite World
You're from Wichita, Texas
[in Texas accent]
I'm from Wichita Falls, Texas, honey!
My name is Piero Piazzi
I am the president of Women, Milan
[Donat] He's an international supermodel
You know that?
[Piero] I was!
And which year was that? '68, or '69?
[all laughing]
At the time, Google doesn't exist!
I know you don't know anything
about me. I'm not googleable
Basically, before 2013, I don't exist
But now, it hit me that I never actually
had a moment to sit down with all of you
and give you the global picture
So, it used to be the casting agents
and the creative directors,
they didn't like your look,
thought you were too fat,
or too this or too that finished
If we can help our talent
create their own brands,
meaning not bikini shots,
but who they are,
what they're passionate about,
what makes them unique and individual,
so that the day they turn 35
and can no longer walk a runway,
they've got ten million followers,
a sunscreen line
Then it's the casting agents,
the creative directors
who are chasing after them
So it is a massive shift
in the power dynamic
We've always thought of ourselves
as just a modeling agency,
but the reality is today,
with the advent of social media,
we can take our talent's digital channels
and literally start looking at them
as NBCs, ABCs
Think about it,
we have over a billion viewers
Over a billion. Tell me one network
that has over a billion viewers
We've become
the largest media group in the world
We've got the power
And we're getting louder ♪
It's the final hour ♪
Oh ♪
- [Miriam] Hey, Mama!
- [Julia] Hey, beauty
- Good morning
- [Miriam] You know what came today?
- [Julia] What came?
- My birth certificate
- Really? Let me see
- Yeah
Miriam Tova Hendler Not for much longer
January 25th
You were my easiest birth actually
This was the last thing I needed
to legally change my name
- Yeah, so you need to tell him
- So now I can really do it
Usually, I send Anthony
to Monsey to pick up Aron,
but I wanted to go myself
Aron went away
to sleepaway camp this summer
I'm going to pick him up,
'cause finally it's over!
It's been six weeks,
and I want to see my son
And I'm looking forward to the day
when I never have to go back to Monsey
because he's gonna live with me full-time
You interested in coming with me,
by any chance?
Hmm
We'll pick up Aron and we bring him home
And you'll tell Abba!
[tense music playing]
I feel like maybe I should?
Better for him to find out
before you actually do it,
than you've changed your name
and he finds out from a different source
Because that would be offensive
I'm so grateful that my mom is
fully supporting me on telling my dad,
but I'm not super excited,
as I don't really like going there
It just brings up all these bad memories,
but I know that I need to tell my dad
that I'm changing my last name
- [Julia] What are you going to wear?
- I have this cute, classic Monsey outfit
[Julia] What does that mean, "classic"?
It just covers all the things
that need to be covered. You know?
Why are you still covering things?
I mean, you are such the kid
to, like, own everything
I know, but I don't
Like, if I'm already telling Abba
about me changing my name,
I think, like,
one thing's enough, you know?
Don't you think you should just
own who you are altogether?
- This is your opportunity to say, "Hey!"
- Trust me, you know I own who I am
Right! So own it in Monsey
Why own it everywhere else but Monsey?
If it makes people
more comfortable for a day,
it doesn't bother me
and then live my life
I just think it sends the wrong message
Like, I'm comfortable
maybe showing my collarbone
But just the "crazy" things,
like showing my shoulders,
I just don't want to be
too offensive to people
To me, I totally understand respecting
other people's faith and cultures,
that's great,
as long as their culture respects me back
- Right
- Jules?
Yes! Can you tell my daughter she doesn't
need to dress Monsey for Monsey?
- [Robert] Why are you going to Monsey?
- [Julia] Oh, yeah. We're going to Monsey
- Um
- No, we're going to the office
No, uh, yeah
So there's a slight change of plan
Miriam is going to be changing
her name to Miriam Haart, legally
- Exciting
- [Miriam] Mm-hmm
We've decided this is an excellent
opportunity for her to tell her Abba
- Okay, good
- Forgot to tell you. [laughing] I'm sorry
- Well, y'all have fun
- You wanna come with us?
- To Monsey?
- [Julia] Yeah, you've never been
- Please come!
- What do you think?
I think, yeah, why not?
- [Julia] You've never been
- I've never been
- Oh my goodness. Let's make a day of it!
- We can show him the neighborhood
[Julia] I can show you where I grew up,
Bais Yaakov, my house!
Oh, my gosh!
Robert has been asking
to see Monsey for a really long time
Mm, dying!
Because I've been talking to him
about it for the last five years,
and he has, like, a picture in his head,
but a show is
so much often better than tell
Oh my gosh, in my mind,
it's this mythical destination
Like, what's it going to be?
Who am I going to see?
How are they gonna be dressed?
What will they be doing?
- All the questions
- I've built it all up
Is what I'm wearing okay?
- Darling, there's nothing okay about you
- [Miriam chuckles]
You are just evil top to bottom
- As am I, as is she
- Amen
We're just a group of sinners
going into the Holy Land
- We're playing hooky!
- [Miriam squealing]
Welcome to me in high school!
[with flourish] We're going to Monsey
We're going to Monsey ♪
We're going to see all the black hats
Monsey! ♪
We're going to Monsey ♪
Hurrah, hurrah! We're going to Monsey ♪
[vocalizing]
So you'll come?
I guess, yeah
[laughing]
[lively Broadway-style music playing]
Hold on. Start button is where?
- [Robert laughing]
- [Miriam] Oh God
- [engine starts]
- [Julia] Got it!
Can you see?
- [tires screech]
- [Julia] Shit!
[Robert] It's a big-ass car
- [Julia] Okay, Robert
- [Miriam] Do you want me to drive?
I very much appreciate it,
the answer is still very much no
Get ready for all the eyeballs on us,
because we're wearing pants
- [Robert] Should we not be in color?
- [Julia] We'll be only people in color
What other important rules
should I observe?
I don't know how many gay people
there are in Monsey
Oh, there's many gays
Well, there's closeted gays
because you're not allowed
Is there like an underground sexy scene?
I was learning about it
I was talking to Shevi about it, actually
Yeah, she was telling me
that there is a group of girls
- that got together every Shabbos
- [Robert gasps]
- Just fingered each other? Ah!
- Yeah!
[Julia] What?
[all laughing]
- No way
- [Robert] I'm dead!
[Miriam] She was telling me about it!
Are there rules about sex?
There's rules about which shoe
you're supposed to tie first,
just to give you an idea
[sighs] Yeah, I guess once we
get to Monsey, I'll put my jacket back on
Do you ever feel pressure
from your dad to do that?
I've felt it before, to be honest
Like, we've gone out to restaurants
and he would say, like, "Oh Miriam,
Hasidim there,
they might kick you out if you wear that."
Going into Monsey, I'm getting
all these memories of what it was like,
and I'm getting a little nervous
to have this conversation with my dad
I don't know if he'll be upset with me,
or if he'll support me,
and I'm just kind of scared
[Julia] This is the high school I went to
- [Miriam] I remember this school
- [Julia] And
It was also the place here,
to the right, where I got married
- Why did you choose this place?
- [Julia] I didn't choose anything
I had no rights, or decisions
I didn't choose
where I was getting married,
- who I was getting married to
- Okay
When, how, what, why, no choices
The only reason I drive back is because
I have one child who's still there
It scares the living daylights out of me
how much time he spends in that community
If I don't go there, I won't
have a relationship with my son,
to ensure that he is
a full-functioning member of this world
So, Robert, I'm gonna take you
to the supermarket that we always shop in
[Robert] Okay
[Julia] I'm going to get food
for Shabbos for home
Okay
- [horn honks]
- [Julia] Shit!
[Robert] Need help?
- You got it
- [Miriam] Mama!
[Julia] Can we stop?
I cannot have two back-seat drivers
Sure, dear. We're gonna pick up the road
and move it around for you
[car beeping]
[Julia] All right! Watch out, Robert!
- Don't bang my car. Careful
- We're seven feet away from that van
[Julia] Just be careful
Um, I think I'm going to go, actually
I'm not feeling the stares today
- I'll see you soon? Love you! Mwah!
- Love you! Mwah!
- Mwah! Bye-bye
- Bye, Rob Bro
- Do you want me to push?
- Obviously
[Robert] Okay
What all do we need?
[Julia] Come this way
Let's do fruits and veggies first
- [Aunty] How are you?
- [Julia] Hi!
- [Aunty] I know your son, Shlomo
- [Julia] You do? How do you know my son?
[Aunty] Through Rafi Cohen
Julia is always turning heads, right?
Everyone around us is modest
as they possibly can, and here is Julia
in this emerald green, fabulous look,
nine-inch heels, titties out
[Julia] So I have something called Facon
So definitely we are standing out
in the crowd
[humorous music playing]
[Robert chuckling]
- You're getting some looks, Mama
- [Julia] Oh, well, that's life
So I'm gonna take
some of this, marrow bones
And then you need chulent meat,
which is nice and fatty
- Chicken
- [Robert] How many meats do we need?
[Julia] Sugar-free coleslaw
There's this lady who makes challahs,
called the Challah Fairy
[Robert] That was my nickname in college,
the Challah Fairy
We have enough carbohydrates
to fuel a submarine
- [Julia] You want poppers?
- [Robert] I always want poppers
- You don't know what those are. [laughing]
- [Robert] I don't
It's sex-related, that's all I'm saying
[Julia] Okay
Let's not talk about that in the store
[Robert] Mm-hmm
[Robert] Are you used to seeing people
dress like this fabulous young thing?
[cashier] No
You're making the difference
[Julia] I make the difference
- [Robert] Praise the lord!
- [Julia] Praise!
- [Julia] Shell shopping!
- [Miriam] No!
Oh, my God, Miriam, explain
- No, I can't
- Okay. Please explain what a shell is
- He doesn't know!
- No, I can't. It's like a Ugh!
Like a peanut shell?
No! [groans]
I'm choking!
- Lord in Heaven
- [Miriam] Literally!
Shells
- [Julia] Don't forget, as women
- That was my hell
we are not allowed
to uncover any part of our body
Your collarbone, your elbows
are all verboten
- [groans] I can't. Literally
- Verboten!
- [Julia] Very tight
- [Miriam] It's so tight!
- It sticks to your skin
- [Julia] Really painful
It's like wearing super tight leggings
on your neck
[Robert] Mm!
- It really hurts
- So it chokes you
So you don't have
any collarbone showing ever
It literally choked my body. I can't!
[groans]
I fucking hate going back up there!
Yeah, I'm really not excited at all
I'm excited to see Aron though
I know. I really want the day to come
where I don't have to go
to Monsey to pick him up
and he just lives with us
- That will come
- It'll happen
I think it will happen
[Robert] Here we are!
[Julia] So this is it. This is where
I lived for many, many years
[knocking on door]
[Julia and Miriam] Hey!
[Julia kisses]
Hi, my name's Aron
I live in Monsey, I'm 14 years old
- How you doing?
- I'm good
[sighs]
tzitzis
This is me
[Julia] Aron is my baby
When I was pregnant with him,
I had a dream
In my dream, this elderly man came
and told me that I should name Aron "Aron"
because he's going to be a peacemaker
And if you look at our life today,
and how we still
all get along as a family,
it's really down to Aron
[Robert] So what's the plan? Aron,
are you coming back to the city with us?
- [Aron] I am
- Ruh-roh, party in the city!
It's my turn now!
- [Aron] It's your turn now
- [Julia] It's my turn! Mm
Georgie, treyf, treyf. Kosher!
[Julia and Miriam laughing]
- [Julia] Treyf means "not kosher."
- [Robert] I got it
[Julia] Come on, Robert,
we'll do a little tour
[Robert] Is this all religious stuff?
Yes, these are all what's called seforim
[Robert] Did you have a favorite?
[Julia] As women, we're not allowed
to learn the Talmud
- [Miriam] Or this, or this, or this
- [Julia] Or this, or this, or this
[Julia] So basically
Cut down on the reading list
- I like it!
- But we read these these guys
- These?
- These
- [Miriam] Should we give a tour upstairs?
- [Julia] Yeah
- [Robert] I wanna see your room
- I'm gonna hang out with Aron
- [Miriam] Sure, sounds good
- [Julia] See you guys
[Miriam] See ya
Let's go to the second floor
[Robert] Okay
Did you ever, like, sneak out the window?
[Miriam] I thought about it
This is where my parents' bedroom is
My dad's working in there right now
So, this is Shlomo's room,
and then this is the room
This has my things in it,
but now this is Aron's room,
that's why it has
all of his trash and toys
- But all this is my stuff
- [Robert] "Digital Media Academy."
I did every possible thing that I could do
as a girl in the community
- Should I show you some photos?
- [Robert] Yeah
Oh, this is your grandma, right?
[Miriam] Yeah, that is my grandma
She doesn't talk to me
Does Miriam Hendler come back
when you walk into this house?
Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah
[emotional music playing]
[Miriam] I stayed in this house
for six months
when I wasn't religious,
and I was hiding that from my family
So it was really hard for me
to follow all the rules
and, in secret, not believe in anything
So being in this room just reminds me
of those memories,
and then it also reminds me
of the memories
of just hating certain aspects of my life
because I couldn't do things
[Robert] Is it important
for you to come back here
and still have this
be a part of your life?
It's important that I maintain
a good relationship with my dad
- That's it. The people, not the place
- [Robert] Yeah
- And your brother's here
- And my brother. Yeah
[Robert] Still talking to your dad?
I feel like since I don't have to do it,
I just really don't want to, honestly
I'm so not used to this side of you
that's unsure
- Where is it coming from?
- I know
I'm literally such a, "Yes, you can."
- I never say the word "no" or "can't."
- I know
But this is something
I'm honestly really struggling with
I don't know if I can do it
Inside, I kind of feel a lot of anxiety
I feel like I've dropped a lot on my dad,
in terms of me not being religious,
in terms of me being bisexual
There's so many things that I know,
even if he doesn't show it,
he's probably disappointed and upset
And so just telling him that I want
to change my name is just another layer
This is what you intended to do
Your heart was set on it
- Your heart was set on Haart!
- Right. [chuckles]
Like, when else
is it going to be the right time?
When else will it be easy?
You don't want to disappoint your dad,
but you have to think
about yourself, your future,
how you want to be as a person
as you enter this new part of your life
I don't know, I think now's the time
I just don't want to lose
my relationship with him,
and I feel like
he might get really offended by this
[Robert] Listen, I don't know your dad,
but if I know anything
about your family, I know there's love
So I think that if he's been able
to still love you
through your transition
into the woman you are today,
I think this is just another
stepping stone in that direction, right?
Think about it this way:
The woman who's talking
to your dad is Miriam Haart,
and how she deals with a situation
is different than Miriam Hendler
I think you can walk into that room,
say your piece in a loving, healthy way,
and walk out feeling good
[emotional music playing]
[grunts] I love this sugar-free coleslaw,
it's so good
So who's cooking Shabbos this week?
- [Aron] Probably Shlomo and Abba
- Shlomo became a very good cook
Is he dating? Do you know anything?
Does he talk to you about that?
- Shlomo?
- Yeah
He'll probably start dating,
like, after college
You think so? [chuckles]
But you've got girlfriends. [laughing]
- Yes, you do!
- I don't. I said, "Bye-bye."
You said "bye-bye." Really? Why?
I also stopped watching TV
- What? When?
- Camp
How serious are you about this?
Or you're fine?
Very serious
Very serious? How come?
What made you decide?
- Distraction. I don't need it
- A distraction from what?
middot in people
So can you have a girl friend,
who's not a girlfriend?
You shouldn't talk to girls,
you might fall attracted to her
And then you might touch her
So don't be around women
because you will sin
- You might sin
- Right
So you
so in your mind, that makes sense to you
Judaism is like an escalator
Either you stay in place
and you go down, or you climb up
I think I know which one's
the right choice for me
[tense music playing]
Because you're not talking
to girls anymore now?
Yeah
- That's really tragic
- "Tragic."
[Julia] It is tragic, babe
A few weeks ago,
you're watching television,
you didn't have any issue with it
What happened between then and now?
- Well, just Bitul Torah
- Bitul Torah means?
- Means time away from Torah
- But there are other purposes in life
I don't think so
You don't think so today,
but you thought it six months ago
Before he left for camp, he had
a girlfriend, he was watching TV,
he was living a very normal life,
and in six weeks,
they've just brainwashed him
right back to where we started
I didn't see it coming
I didn't see it coming!
The reality is
you're starting school in two weeks
What are you going to do?
You're going to a mixed school
How are you gonna not talk to girls
if you're going to a mixed school?
If I was able to get
in a different school,
but you don't want me
in a different school, so
sometimes you have
to deal with situations
It's too late
You're going to go there next year,
and you're gonna go there for four years
Because to me, an education
is the key to whatever life you choose
I'm pretty sure all Jewish schools
are all really good options,
so do I really need
the craziest one I could be in?
It's not crazy. Even Abba
was super excited with the school
Abba and I made that choice together
It's a good school
with a good secular education,
and it's still religious. So you're going
to learn how to balance both,
because both are important
and you have to get
[Aron] One's more important
than the other
No! I don't know
what happened in camp
I will not let fundamentalism
ruin your life
What's fundamentalism?
Fundamentalism is thinking
that girls are bad,
and that if you speak to them,
you're a sinner, if you watch television,
it's a waste of time because you should
be learning Torah all day long
You should be
That, right there, is why to me,
you're not going up
the escalator right now,
you are going down into the rabbit hole
of crazy fundamentalism
- Highly disagree with that
- Well, that's okay, you're 14. I'm 49
So my job as a parent is to make sure
you have all the options available to you
And if, after you have all the options,
you still want to choose that way of life,
then I will respect you
At 14 years of age, you may not think
you sound like a close-minded person
I sound like a Jewish person
No, my love, there's millions
of modern Orthodox Jews
who keep Shabbos and kosher,
who don't feel this way
That's unfortunate
You sound like a fundamentalist
I lived in that world
and it's a very small and sad world,
and a place where women
have one purpose in life,
and that is
to have babies and get married,
and that's one thing
that I am very worried about,
because it is not a world
I want my son to think
is the only world that exists
I see the world. I just don't want
to be part of that world
- [emotional music playing]
- That's what makes me so sad
[sniffles]
[sighs emotionally]
Thanks, baby
Sorry, it's just very upsetting to me
[deep breath]
I love you so much. I just want you
to have everything in life,
and you're cutting yourself off
from the world, and it kills me
I thought we were past this,
I really did
Now we're back where we started
[exhales heavily]
Girls are not bad, Aron,
and being with a girl and talking
Hashem
love you any less, I promise you
And getting an education
and meeting people
who don't live in this community,
I promise you,
will just make your life better
To you, maybe
Yes, my love, to me
I love you so much,
I just want you to have a good life
[sobbing]
I love you so much
[sniffling]
Sorry
- [Miriam] Okay. Love you
- [Robert] Let's do it. Love you
[Robert] Miriam is this strong,
kick-ass girl in every scenario
I mean, I can understand
that she's having cold feet
Certainly this house,
certainly this place,
brings back deep-rooted insecurities
that it would for anyone
I just don't want her to miss
this opportunity to express herself
- [knocking on door]
- [Yosef] Come in
[Miriam] 'Sup, are you busy?
- [Yosef] What's going on?
- [Miriam] Can I talk to you for a second?
[contemplative music playing]