Mytho (2019) s01e02 Episode Script
Episode 2
1 A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES EPISODE 2 [man.]
History, 4/20.
German, 8/20.
Zero in English, 1/20 in math, 4/20 in physics.
I'm not sure you understand how serious this is.
Carole ranks last in every subject this quarter.
[man.]
That's not all.
We're considering a disciplinary hearing.
- You didn't know? - No.
The class skipping, the tardiness Your daughter came in drunk.
She'd been drinking during recess.
- Oh, no.
- [man.]
She vomited on a student's hair.
Oh.
[Ghislaine.]
During my class.
At ten a.
m.
[Elvira gasps.]
Oh.
Let's not beat around the bush: we're thinking of expelling Carole.
What is she going to do? You can't give up on her.
- Us? - [Elvira.]
Yes.
Giving up on her? We are not responsible.
Fuck, the onus is on you to raise her properly.
Calm down, Ghislaine.
Excuse me.
You should know my wife is sick.
Elvira has breast cancer.
She'll be starting treatment soon.
I'm truly sorry.
We didn't know.
You should have told us.
[Patrick.]
Our kids don't know.
We wouldn't want to upset them.
[man.]
Of course, but kids are like sponges.
They take it all in.
What we're going through is very trying, so we might have neglected Carole.
[Ghislaine.]
Look this changes things quite a bit.
Right, we can understand.
We'll help Carole get back on the right track, but we need time.
[man.]
Of course.
Would you rather Carole be expelled? You didn't have to say I was starting treatment.
I said that to save our daughter.
This is not how problems get solved.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't know what I was thinking.
I panicked.
Fuck, I felt like we were the students.
- It just came out.
- What if they talk to the kids? - We'll see.
When is your appointment? - Now is not the time.
[Patrick.]
It never is.
Why is everything so vague? I need to know.
[school bell ringing.]
[Patrick.]
Did Sam tell Niklas? [Elvira.]
I don't know.
I don't think so.
- [Niklas.]
Hi.
- So, they kicked her out? It's none of your business, bud.
Niklas - Ja? - Do you like pizza? - Pizza? - Pizza.
[in English.]
Ja, I love pizza.
- Yeah, yeah.
Mm-hm? - My dad he makes pizza.
Your dad is driving a car? No! Oh.
- Hey, Carole.
- Hello, Mr.
Lambert.
Hello.
What do you think you're doing? It's fine, go home.
I'll see you there.
Are you kidding me? Let's go.
Now.
Come on.
"Come on!" - What are you looking at, douchebag? - "What are you looking at, douchebag?" [Sam.]
Best pizza in the world.
But you end up with a big butt afterwards.
Like Carole.
Shut up.
Carole.
Come here, please.
- Dad.
- Hey.
- How's my girl? - I'm okay.
Hello.
[in Italian.]
You don't look so well.
I started exercising again, though.
Ah.
So one Ginger and Fred, one Vitelloni, one Da Vinci and one Nonno.
Here.
Great.
Can I have some parmesan, please? - [Nonno in French.]
Excuse me? - A little parmesan.
[in Italian.]
You explain to him, I'm sick of it.
Thing is, Nonno's pizzas are creations.
No special requests.
But I'll [Nonno.]
Where's my favorite? - Virginie? Um, she's at home.
- Hmm.
She had an eczema flare up.
Actually, I have to give her a call.
[phone ringing.]
BREAST CANCER, IN NUMBERS - Hello? - Why didn't you pick up? I was worried.
See, if I had my own phone, it would be way more convenient.
Any better? No.
- Do you still want pizza? - Yes.
I'll get the usual.
- Okay.
- See you in a bit, sweetie.
See you, bye.
[Nonno in French.]
No microwave, or don't come back to Nonno's.
You got it? Mm.
Elvira.
[in Italian.]
Who's the guy with your son? It's his German pen pal.
Ah.
Oh, give me a break.
Come on.
[chuckles.]
But this is not right.
Nobody in our family sleeps with Germans.
No one.
And Carole? How come she didn't come give me a kiss? [Elvira.]
She's busy.
Oh! Pay attention when I'm talking to you! All right, fine.
No need to yell.
You act like you're an adult, but you're still just a kid.
With your bullshit antics.
Can you imagine the humiliation in front of your teachers? And with what's going on with your mom What about Mom? I don't know.
I mean All those responsibilities.
Her job, the house You care about how Mom feels now? When did that happen? You feel like I don't care about your mom? Well yeah.
Sometimes, it's like you don't give a shit about her.
[cell phone beeps.]
BRIGITTE I MISS YOUR DICK! [rap music playing over headphones.]
You need to change your attitude.
From now on, you're grounded.
You're staying home tonight.
Check, yo, I loved you More than words could ever say I wasn't going out anyway.
Good.
[Elvira.]
Okay, I get it.
There's no need to yell.
I never raised my voice.
I never raised my voice with you.
Getting upset will get you nowhere.
He should come sell pizzas with us.
Instead of messing around with his pictures.
Does he really need to shout to assert his authority? - Eh? - Eh.
Ciao.
Keep your money and your lecturing.
Don't talk to your daughter like that.
[groans.]
[in French.]
She's okay with it.
She can't live without Nonno's pizzas.
You should treat her more thoughtfully.
Move.
Sam? Thank you.
[Patrick's cell phone beeps.]
[Elvira.]
Who's texting you all the time? [Patrick.]
Must be a customer.
[Elvira.]
Can't they leave you alone on weekends? Some lemonade to cool down, honey? Yes, please.
Welcome.
[Elvira.]
Oh, my, the computer.
What did we say? It's only for homework and with supervision.
Here.
Let me see.
Mom? Hmm? There are anchovies.
[groans.]
Spit it out.
Here.
- Mom? - Yes.
How did your mom die? Actually, I don't want it.
She got sick.
Eat the parts with no anchovies.
- Could you get sick, too? - Me? No.
No, no.
What's wrong? Everything's fine.
Everyone's healthy.
There are no wars.
No one's going to attack us.
Okay? Have some pizza.
Mom? What? Did you know flies sneeze like this? [sneezes.]
[rock music playing over speakers.]
Carole? [knocking on door.]
Carole, I'd like it if we could have a chat.
About this, maybe? You found your jacket! Where was it? Jeff dug it out while working on the Jacuzzi.
Really? That's weird.
Stop lying! I've been looking for it for ages.
Some witchcraft BS with your friend? Not at all.
I'm tired of this.
[woman.]
Let the power of Recurex bewitch you.
Just spray once, and any trace of grease in your oven will magically disappear.
[cell phone beeping.]
Recurex is the ideal potion to make your baking trays, grills and planchas cleaner than ever.
- Virginie doesn't like those anymore.
- She doesn't? No.
[woman.]
Rinse with warm water and you'll marvel at how even the toughest stains won't resist That's great for the Jacuzzi.
It won't break.
[cell phone beeping.]
- Great.
- Your phone.
No, it can wait.
I'll take two.
I'll go get the water.
Don't wait for me.
[woman.]
Ladies and gentlemen, don't forget our devilish deal.
Until seven tonight, buy one Recurex, a sweeping offer, - and get a free coupon.
- Yeah, hello? You know that I'm with the kids on weekends, I can't talk.
- You don't answer my texts, I'm worried.
- Right, I know, but it's a little complicated.
I'll come by the pharmacy.
I'll explain.
I have to hang up.
Okay.
[woman.]
Recurex, a range of cleaning products for all your needs.
100 percent effective, 100 percent astonishing, 100 percent bewitching.
Look no further, it will win you over from the first use.
To try it is to love it.
Our ultra-stripping Recurex formula will do wonders on your stove, your wall panels, but also your grills and planchas.
[Patrick over speakers.]
Elvira, a few days ago, I had an epiphany.
A wake-up call.
First, I'd like to say thank you.
Thanks for being the woman you are.
For being the mother you are.
I haven't told you often lately.
So, here you go.
I've always said that it was for fools, for the bourgeois, the scared but I was the fool.
Because today, I want to marry you.
And I would like a wedding that reflects who we are.
With the children, your father, my brother, everyone naked in the Jacuzzi, and Seriously, I'd like a very simple thing.
Something that's "us.
" That's it.
Sorry for bothering you, ladies and gentlemen.
Have a lovely evening.
[in English.]
Patrick out.
[Dawn Landes & Piers Faccini "Book of Dreams" playing.]
Goodbye to my reflection Last page turning Book of dreams burning FOR SALE Ah.
Ooh Ooh What I wouldn't give to smoke a cig I'm so proud of you.
I wanted to say For your tests I really want to come with you.
Tell me when you know the date.
You're not gonna close the store just for that? I am.
I really screwed up last time.
I want to show you it matters to me.
I'm sure that the results will be good and that I'm not sick.
[groans.]
I'm sure of it, too.
You seem strange.
I was wondering Will you still want to marry me even if I'm fine? Of course.
Of course, come on.
Oh.
Yes? My love.
Crazy and so obvious That I can't make sense any more Of this exciting game So good, but so tiring You love to manipulate me And I love to do the same [Sonia.]
Hi.
[Carole.]
I've been calling you for four hours.
I was with Manon.
I'm screwed.
My dad won't let me go out.
Girl, you can't leave me alone.
It's not me, it's that fucking French teacher.
We're gonna get revenge on that bitch.
- She's going to regret it.
- I'll call you back.
Okay, ciao.
[in English.]
'Cause it's It's in French.
[in French.]
Can't you do that somewhere else? It's embarrassing.
Ah! Get the fuck out of my face! [in English.]
She's crazy.
You love to manipulate me And I love to do the same - What's wrong? - [in French.]
You okay? What's up with her? What's wrong? It's nothing.
She's a woman.
She laughs, she cries, that's the way it is.
- Open your mouth.
- Hmm? Open your mouth! No, but try Ah.
Wow.
Mm.
[grunts.]
Tastes weird.
Where did you find that one? [Patrick chuckling.]
[playing "Stand By Me" on piano.]
When the night has come And the land is dark And the moon is the only light We'll see [doorbell rings.]
No, I won't be afraid No, I won't be afraid Just as long as you stand Stand by me So, darlin', darlin', stand by me Oh, stand by me Oh, stand now Stand by me Stand by me If the sky that we look upon Should tumble and fall And the mountains should crumble To the sea I won't cry I won't cry No, I won't shed a tear Just as long as you stand Stand by me And, darlin', darlin', stand by me Oh, stand by me [cell phone ringing.]
I don't know that number.
Forget it.
[phone ringing.]
What are you doing? It's a weird time to call.
It might be important.
Probably someone selling Jacuzzis when we already have one.
[cell phone chiming.]
[groaning.]
Yes? Yes.
What? I don't get it.
Carole? Hold on.
We'll be right there.
Carole is at the station.
- What? - The police called.
We have to go get her.
[thunder crashing.]
[chattering.]
Horrible.
I'm worried sick.
What happened? They were playing on a rooftop, balancing on it.
One of them fell.
The guy is at the ER.
Oh, no.
What's wrong with them? I don't know, but in my time, girls, - they didn't drink as much.
- What a bunch of shitheads.
Come on.
POLICE Fucking idiot.
We have to go get your scooter.
We didn't need that.
- Fuck.
- Careful.
The kids are out of control.
I'll tell them you're sick.
Are you insane? They need a fucking reality check.
Out of the question.
We won't traumatize them for nothing.
Yes, we should.
They need to understand what real life is.
They need to help us.
- [tires screeching then thud.]
- [shouts.]
Carole! Oh, fuck.
- Are you okay? - I'm sorry.
- Are you okay, Carole? - Sorry, sorry.
Are you okay, baby? You okay? It's okay.
I'm fine.
This is crazy! I'm sorry.
Things are so complicated right now.
I know.
I'm sorry.
No - it's not just you.
- Shut up.
- [Carole.]
What? - [Patrick.]
Come on.
Is it serious? We don't know.
They need to run tests.
It's probably a false alarm.
Like something that looks like breast cancer, but is not.
Don't downplay it.
It's pointless to say it's nothing when they might tell you next week it's really serious.
But I can feel it's nothing.
- We'll talk about it after the tests.
- Okay, no need to twist the knife.
It's hard enough as it is, you know? That's true.
You're right.
We'll go to the biopsy together.
And we'll see.
The what? The biopsy.
They're going to take a sample from your mom and analyze it to know if it's serious.
How do you know? I looked it up.
No need to get into the specifics.
Right? It will be all right.
Don't worry.
I love you, Mom.
Oh, my baby What the fuck is this? - [Niklas in German.]
Thank you.
- Wow.
- Niklas.
- [Sam.]
I'd like to get expelled, too.
- Okay, you guys are creepy now.
- Everybody, go to bed.
[Elvira.]
Good night, everyone.
To bed.
[Carole.]
I want my brother to know.
I want us to be the same.
To bed.
[Sam.]
Okay, can we say "my sister" when Niklas is here? He doesn't speak the language, but he gets simple words, - like "brother" and "sister.
" - [Carole.]
Sam.
- This is serious.
- No.
We don't know yet.
What? Tell me.
Your mom is sick.
Mom has breast cancer.
I just have a little lump, - here, under the breast.
- It's a tumor.
- [sobbing.]
A tumor? - [Patrick.]
Calm down.
[Elvira.]
There, there.
Sam.
You need to get yourself together.
Keep your emotions under control or we won't make it.
- Excuse me? Say that again.
- I don't want I want no hysteria here.
I need everyone to keep a cool head until the results come back.
Fuck you.
You can't talk to him like that.
[Sam crying.]
What's going on? [in English.]
My mother has cancer.
Sam, my baby.
Don't cry.
There's a 99 percent chance the tests come back negative.
[Sam.]
I hope so.
And, Sam I'd like you to make an effort with your dad.
- What about him? Is he making an effort? - [Elvira.]
He is.
Really.
He loves you guys.
So much.
Even if he's clumsy, sometimes.
[grunts.]
[Carole.]
Why do they call it "cancer"? Why not "will-cer-vive"? I promise there's hope.
Sometimes, I I feel like I feel like I'm falling.
I'm falling and nobody's there to catch me.
[Elvira.]
This warning signal is meant to remind us that we are a family.
That we need to be understanding of one another.
If not, who else will be for us? There's so little love in this world.
[moaning.]
I want a peaceful home.
I'd rather you wait in the car.
No, that way, we can talk.
You're not alone.
Listen.
You must let me go alone.
Because I I don't want you to see me like a sick person.
I don't want to be associated with the hospital and all that.
What will make me live is the disease never coming between us.
That will make me feel beautiful and alive.
You understand? You say that because of your mother.
Exactly.
Go.
I'll wait here.
[woman on pa.]
Calling Mr.
and Mrs.
Bertrand to the admissions office.
Can I help you? - Excuse me? - You're looking for something? No, thank you.
SUBJECT: "MADAME BOVARY" [Charonne's "Fade" playing over speakers.]
IN 1836, FLAUBERT [bell jingles.]
You're the type That can never be replaced You were there from the beginning - Hello.
- Hello.
It's all the same to me I guess that makes y'all my enemy 'Cause you went and took A friend from me You were my childhood You were my adolescence I loved you Never had to use a false pretense Can I help you? Yes, I'm coming for the photo classes.
With Patrick.
Is he your dad? Yes.
You look alike.
He's not here? Uh, no, I'm covering for him.
Is something wrong? No.
Is that your mother? She's beautiful, huh? And is he with her now? I guess so.
Can I help you with something specific? Oh, no.
- Should I let my dad know you came? - No need.
I'll come back.
Bye.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
I'M IN THE WAITING ROOM.
I'M NEXT.
[cell phone beeps.]
PATRICK I LOVE YOU.
[Elvira chuckles.]
THE POISONER NOW DEAD - [Carole.]
Hi, Dad.
- Hi.
How are you? Good.
I'm writing my paper.
Any customers? Not really.
The pharmacist came looking for you.
Ah.
Did she tell you why? She said she had the hots for you and that she wanted you to come by.
She did? [chuckles.]
Come on, be real.
I don't know.
She was really weird.
I don't know what she wanted.
She was looking for you.
Ha, ha.
Very funny.
And And Mom? Mom is fine.
I just dropped her off.
She was a bit stressed, but she'll be fine.
Don't worry.
I love you, honey.
I love you, too, Dad.
I'm keeping you and Mom in my thoughts.
[Catriona Irving's "History & the Victors" playing.]
I'm going to ace this paper.
- Love you.
- Love you.
MOM IS FINE.
SHE'S DOING TESTS.
DAD IS WITH HER.
SHOULD WE TELL NONNO? XOXO - See you later.
- See you.
It's oh, oh, oh It's a long time coming along [cell phone ringing.]
Long time coming along I don't have my glasses.
Can you read that for me? Long time coming [cell phone ringing.]
NONNO IGNORE What's up? It's done.
We'll get the results in three or four days.
How? Through the mail.
It won't be long.
They didn't say anything else? No.
They told me to wait.
- [Nonno.]
Elvira.
- What is he doing here? It's not me.
I didn't tell him.
- What are you doing here? - [in Italian.]
If Samuel hadn't told me, you wouldn't either, right? It's nothing, just a routine check-up.
[in French.]
So, why are the kids so worried? Eh? Because they're kids.
[in Italian.]
What is this mess? I'm scared something will happen.
To you, too.
I'm sorry.
Why apologize? Are you crazy? Maybe.
[in French.]
You know I love you, right? No.
I don't know.
I don't know it enough, Dad.
Hmm.
PHARMACY I added a pumice stone, Ms.
Arnaud.
- This is not mine.
- It's a gift.
Oh, okay.
And this? Is it a gift, too? Not at all.
You have to pay for this.
Oh, thank you.
Goodbye, ma'am.
Hi.
Get out.
- What? - You came to invite me to the wedding? Hold on Keep your shitty life.
Your shitty dreams.
Your nasty kids.
I'm being vulgar, aren't I? Well, so are you.
You're mediocre.
- Sir? - I'm not done.
Sir? This way, please.
- [man.]
Hello.
- [woman.]
Hello.
Hold on.
Come on.
Elvira has breast cancer.
She was diagnosed.
It seems to be pretty bad.
Are you okay? Of course I'm not okay.
What do you want me to do now? It's awful.
I'll be jealous of her, of her disease.
I'll want her to die.
Please don't say that.
Leave.
- Come on, Brigitte - Leave! Look.
My letter to the head office.
I'm suing him in labor court.
- Brunet? - Mm-hm.
This morning, he said he dreamt I was giving birth to a monster, like Sigourney Weaver in Alien.
Those words exactly? I have it recorded.
There you go.
Do you remember a life insurance contract for a client who had the same name as a city? Laval? A palindrome.
Wasn't it breast cancer? It was.
But "Laval" is a palindrome.
A word you can read both ways.
Laval.
I was joking.
Thank you.
Why do you ask? - Brunet's asking.
- Ah? Okay.
- Are you coming for lunch? - No, I've got some more work to do.
[all chattering.]
Elvira, take your things, you're coming with me to Gillers.
- [Elvira.]
But it's lunch time.
- Right.
Let's get off our asses.
- Isn't the expert supposed to go on site? - Yes.
But if I know one thing, it's that experts are not to be trusted.
A bunch of scam artists.
So? They said the CEO was having lunch at a Chinese restaurant two blocks away from here.
Perfect.
Do you really want to bother him during his break? [traditional Chinese music playing over speakers.]
- Really? - You didn't order wine.
If you have wine every day [in Mandarin.]
Thank you.
The expert is coming this afternoon.
I hope Christine won't break.
She'll be our weak link.
She's freaking out because we invoiced the laptop she got for her son's birthday.
- And her new coffee machine.
- [man 1.]
It's only fair, isn't it? Given what Gépéma squeezes out of us.
I proposed an invoice, but Accounting wasn't interested.
- What was it? - A hair dryer.
We're not a salon.
[man 1.]
Thanks, anyway.
We can't get caught.
I have your backs.
We'll play the expert.
Easy peasy.
Lying, Elvira.
Not an amateur's game.
When you lie it has to be neat.
And beautiful.
And if you can't do that you have to tell the truth.
I, for one, don't lie.
Simply because my memory's bad.
FRENCH ASSIGNMEN WATCH YOUR SPELLING 8/20 Otherwise, I would have been a great scam artist.
WATCH YOUR SPELLING - 12/20 Well, I'm an insurer To get away with it, you need to be creative very organized and coldhearted.
I am too much of a sentimentalist.
There's one thing you need to keep in mind, Elvira.
Always beware of your neighbors.
[closing theme playing.]
History, 4/20.
German, 8/20.
Zero in English, 1/20 in math, 4/20 in physics.
I'm not sure you understand how serious this is.
Carole ranks last in every subject this quarter.
[man.]
That's not all.
We're considering a disciplinary hearing.
- You didn't know? - No.
The class skipping, the tardiness Your daughter came in drunk.
She'd been drinking during recess.
- Oh, no.
- [man.]
She vomited on a student's hair.
Oh.
[Ghislaine.]
During my class.
At ten a.
m.
[Elvira gasps.]
Oh.
Let's not beat around the bush: we're thinking of expelling Carole.
What is she going to do? You can't give up on her.
- Us? - [Elvira.]
Yes.
Giving up on her? We are not responsible.
Fuck, the onus is on you to raise her properly.
Calm down, Ghislaine.
Excuse me.
You should know my wife is sick.
Elvira has breast cancer.
She'll be starting treatment soon.
I'm truly sorry.
We didn't know.
You should have told us.
[Patrick.]
Our kids don't know.
We wouldn't want to upset them.
[man.]
Of course, but kids are like sponges.
They take it all in.
What we're going through is very trying, so we might have neglected Carole.
[Ghislaine.]
Look this changes things quite a bit.
Right, we can understand.
We'll help Carole get back on the right track, but we need time.
[man.]
Of course.
Would you rather Carole be expelled? You didn't have to say I was starting treatment.
I said that to save our daughter.
This is not how problems get solved.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't know what I was thinking.
I panicked.
Fuck, I felt like we were the students.
- It just came out.
- What if they talk to the kids? - We'll see.
When is your appointment? - Now is not the time.
[Patrick.]
It never is.
Why is everything so vague? I need to know.
[school bell ringing.]
[Patrick.]
Did Sam tell Niklas? [Elvira.]
I don't know.
I don't think so.
- [Niklas.]
Hi.
- So, they kicked her out? It's none of your business, bud.
Niklas - Ja? - Do you like pizza? - Pizza? - Pizza.
[in English.]
Ja, I love pizza.
- Yeah, yeah.
Mm-hm? - My dad he makes pizza.
Your dad is driving a car? No! Oh.
- Hey, Carole.
- Hello, Mr.
Lambert.
Hello.
What do you think you're doing? It's fine, go home.
I'll see you there.
Are you kidding me? Let's go.
Now.
Come on.
"Come on!" - What are you looking at, douchebag? - "What are you looking at, douchebag?" [Sam.]
Best pizza in the world.
But you end up with a big butt afterwards.
Like Carole.
Shut up.
Carole.
Come here, please.
- Dad.
- Hey.
- How's my girl? - I'm okay.
Hello.
[in Italian.]
You don't look so well.
I started exercising again, though.
Ah.
So one Ginger and Fred, one Vitelloni, one Da Vinci and one Nonno.
Here.
Great.
Can I have some parmesan, please? - [Nonno in French.]
Excuse me? - A little parmesan.
[in Italian.]
You explain to him, I'm sick of it.
Thing is, Nonno's pizzas are creations.
No special requests.
But I'll [Nonno.]
Where's my favorite? - Virginie? Um, she's at home.
- Hmm.
She had an eczema flare up.
Actually, I have to give her a call.
[phone ringing.]
BREAST CANCER, IN NUMBERS - Hello? - Why didn't you pick up? I was worried.
See, if I had my own phone, it would be way more convenient.
Any better? No.
- Do you still want pizza? - Yes.
I'll get the usual.
- Okay.
- See you in a bit, sweetie.
See you, bye.
[Nonno in French.]
No microwave, or don't come back to Nonno's.
You got it? Mm.
Elvira.
[in Italian.]
Who's the guy with your son? It's his German pen pal.
Ah.
Oh, give me a break.
Come on.
[chuckles.]
But this is not right.
Nobody in our family sleeps with Germans.
No one.
And Carole? How come she didn't come give me a kiss? [Elvira.]
She's busy.
Oh! Pay attention when I'm talking to you! All right, fine.
No need to yell.
You act like you're an adult, but you're still just a kid.
With your bullshit antics.
Can you imagine the humiliation in front of your teachers? And with what's going on with your mom What about Mom? I don't know.
I mean All those responsibilities.
Her job, the house You care about how Mom feels now? When did that happen? You feel like I don't care about your mom? Well yeah.
Sometimes, it's like you don't give a shit about her.
[cell phone beeps.]
BRIGITTE I MISS YOUR DICK! [rap music playing over headphones.]
You need to change your attitude.
From now on, you're grounded.
You're staying home tonight.
Check, yo, I loved you More than words could ever say I wasn't going out anyway.
Good.
[Elvira.]
Okay, I get it.
There's no need to yell.
I never raised my voice.
I never raised my voice with you.
Getting upset will get you nowhere.
He should come sell pizzas with us.
Instead of messing around with his pictures.
Does he really need to shout to assert his authority? - Eh? - Eh.
Ciao.
Keep your money and your lecturing.
Don't talk to your daughter like that.
[groans.]
[in French.]
She's okay with it.
She can't live without Nonno's pizzas.
You should treat her more thoughtfully.
Move.
Sam? Thank you.
[Patrick's cell phone beeps.]
[Elvira.]
Who's texting you all the time? [Patrick.]
Must be a customer.
[Elvira.]
Can't they leave you alone on weekends? Some lemonade to cool down, honey? Yes, please.
Welcome.
[Elvira.]
Oh, my, the computer.
What did we say? It's only for homework and with supervision.
Here.
Let me see.
Mom? Hmm? There are anchovies.
[groans.]
Spit it out.
Here.
- Mom? - Yes.
How did your mom die? Actually, I don't want it.
She got sick.
Eat the parts with no anchovies.
- Could you get sick, too? - Me? No.
No, no.
What's wrong? Everything's fine.
Everyone's healthy.
There are no wars.
No one's going to attack us.
Okay? Have some pizza.
Mom? What? Did you know flies sneeze like this? [sneezes.]
[rock music playing over speakers.]
Carole? [knocking on door.]
Carole, I'd like it if we could have a chat.
About this, maybe? You found your jacket! Where was it? Jeff dug it out while working on the Jacuzzi.
Really? That's weird.
Stop lying! I've been looking for it for ages.
Some witchcraft BS with your friend? Not at all.
I'm tired of this.
[woman.]
Let the power of Recurex bewitch you.
Just spray once, and any trace of grease in your oven will magically disappear.
[cell phone beeping.]
Recurex is the ideal potion to make your baking trays, grills and planchas cleaner than ever.
- Virginie doesn't like those anymore.
- She doesn't? No.
[woman.]
Rinse with warm water and you'll marvel at how even the toughest stains won't resist That's great for the Jacuzzi.
It won't break.
[cell phone beeping.]
- Great.
- Your phone.
No, it can wait.
I'll take two.
I'll go get the water.
Don't wait for me.
[woman.]
Ladies and gentlemen, don't forget our devilish deal.
Until seven tonight, buy one Recurex, a sweeping offer, - and get a free coupon.
- Yeah, hello? You know that I'm with the kids on weekends, I can't talk.
- You don't answer my texts, I'm worried.
- Right, I know, but it's a little complicated.
I'll come by the pharmacy.
I'll explain.
I have to hang up.
Okay.
[woman.]
Recurex, a range of cleaning products for all your needs.
100 percent effective, 100 percent astonishing, 100 percent bewitching.
Look no further, it will win you over from the first use.
To try it is to love it.
Our ultra-stripping Recurex formula will do wonders on your stove, your wall panels, but also your grills and planchas.
[Patrick over speakers.]
Elvira, a few days ago, I had an epiphany.
A wake-up call.
First, I'd like to say thank you.
Thanks for being the woman you are.
For being the mother you are.
I haven't told you often lately.
So, here you go.
I've always said that it was for fools, for the bourgeois, the scared but I was the fool.
Because today, I want to marry you.
And I would like a wedding that reflects who we are.
With the children, your father, my brother, everyone naked in the Jacuzzi, and Seriously, I'd like a very simple thing.
Something that's "us.
" That's it.
Sorry for bothering you, ladies and gentlemen.
Have a lovely evening.
[in English.]
Patrick out.
[Dawn Landes & Piers Faccini "Book of Dreams" playing.]
Goodbye to my reflection Last page turning Book of dreams burning FOR SALE Ah.
Ooh Ooh What I wouldn't give to smoke a cig I'm so proud of you.
I wanted to say For your tests I really want to come with you.
Tell me when you know the date.
You're not gonna close the store just for that? I am.
I really screwed up last time.
I want to show you it matters to me.
I'm sure that the results will be good and that I'm not sick.
[groans.]
I'm sure of it, too.
You seem strange.
I was wondering Will you still want to marry me even if I'm fine? Of course.
Of course, come on.
Oh.
Yes? My love.
Crazy and so obvious That I can't make sense any more Of this exciting game So good, but so tiring You love to manipulate me And I love to do the same [Sonia.]
Hi.
[Carole.]
I've been calling you for four hours.
I was with Manon.
I'm screwed.
My dad won't let me go out.
Girl, you can't leave me alone.
It's not me, it's that fucking French teacher.
We're gonna get revenge on that bitch.
- She's going to regret it.
- I'll call you back.
Okay, ciao.
[in English.]
'Cause it's It's in French.
[in French.]
Can't you do that somewhere else? It's embarrassing.
Ah! Get the fuck out of my face! [in English.]
She's crazy.
You love to manipulate me And I love to do the same - What's wrong? - [in French.]
You okay? What's up with her? What's wrong? It's nothing.
She's a woman.
She laughs, she cries, that's the way it is.
- Open your mouth.
- Hmm? Open your mouth! No, but try Ah.
Wow.
Mm.
[grunts.]
Tastes weird.
Where did you find that one? [Patrick chuckling.]
[playing "Stand By Me" on piano.]
When the night has come And the land is dark And the moon is the only light We'll see [doorbell rings.]
No, I won't be afraid No, I won't be afraid Just as long as you stand Stand by me So, darlin', darlin', stand by me Oh, stand by me Oh, stand now Stand by me Stand by me If the sky that we look upon Should tumble and fall And the mountains should crumble To the sea I won't cry I won't cry No, I won't shed a tear Just as long as you stand Stand by me And, darlin', darlin', stand by me Oh, stand by me [cell phone ringing.]
I don't know that number.
Forget it.
[phone ringing.]
What are you doing? It's a weird time to call.
It might be important.
Probably someone selling Jacuzzis when we already have one.
[cell phone chiming.]
[groaning.]
Yes? Yes.
What? I don't get it.
Carole? Hold on.
We'll be right there.
Carole is at the station.
- What? - The police called.
We have to go get her.
[thunder crashing.]
[chattering.]
Horrible.
I'm worried sick.
What happened? They were playing on a rooftop, balancing on it.
One of them fell.
The guy is at the ER.
Oh, no.
What's wrong with them? I don't know, but in my time, girls, - they didn't drink as much.
- What a bunch of shitheads.
Come on.
POLICE Fucking idiot.
We have to go get your scooter.
We didn't need that.
- Fuck.
- Careful.
The kids are out of control.
I'll tell them you're sick.
Are you insane? They need a fucking reality check.
Out of the question.
We won't traumatize them for nothing.
Yes, we should.
They need to understand what real life is.
They need to help us.
- [tires screeching then thud.]
- [shouts.]
Carole! Oh, fuck.
- Are you okay? - I'm sorry.
- Are you okay, Carole? - Sorry, sorry.
Are you okay, baby? You okay? It's okay.
I'm fine.
This is crazy! I'm sorry.
Things are so complicated right now.
I know.
I'm sorry.
No - it's not just you.
- Shut up.
- [Carole.]
What? - [Patrick.]
Come on.
Is it serious? We don't know.
They need to run tests.
It's probably a false alarm.
Like something that looks like breast cancer, but is not.
Don't downplay it.
It's pointless to say it's nothing when they might tell you next week it's really serious.
But I can feel it's nothing.
- We'll talk about it after the tests.
- Okay, no need to twist the knife.
It's hard enough as it is, you know? That's true.
You're right.
We'll go to the biopsy together.
And we'll see.
The what? The biopsy.
They're going to take a sample from your mom and analyze it to know if it's serious.
How do you know? I looked it up.
No need to get into the specifics.
Right? It will be all right.
Don't worry.
I love you, Mom.
Oh, my baby What the fuck is this? - [Niklas in German.]
Thank you.
- Wow.
- Niklas.
- [Sam.]
I'd like to get expelled, too.
- Okay, you guys are creepy now.
- Everybody, go to bed.
[Elvira.]
Good night, everyone.
To bed.
[Carole.]
I want my brother to know.
I want us to be the same.
To bed.
[Sam.]
Okay, can we say "my sister" when Niklas is here? He doesn't speak the language, but he gets simple words, - like "brother" and "sister.
" - [Carole.]
Sam.
- This is serious.
- No.
We don't know yet.
What? Tell me.
Your mom is sick.
Mom has breast cancer.
I just have a little lump, - here, under the breast.
- It's a tumor.
- [sobbing.]
A tumor? - [Patrick.]
Calm down.
[Elvira.]
There, there.
Sam.
You need to get yourself together.
Keep your emotions under control or we won't make it.
- Excuse me? Say that again.
- I don't want I want no hysteria here.
I need everyone to keep a cool head until the results come back.
Fuck you.
You can't talk to him like that.
[Sam crying.]
What's going on? [in English.]
My mother has cancer.
Sam, my baby.
Don't cry.
There's a 99 percent chance the tests come back negative.
[Sam.]
I hope so.
And, Sam I'd like you to make an effort with your dad.
- What about him? Is he making an effort? - [Elvira.]
He is.
Really.
He loves you guys.
So much.
Even if he's clumsy, sometimes.
[grunts.]
[Carole.]
Why do they call it "cancer"? Why not "will-cer-vive"? I promise there's hope.
Sometimes, I I feel like I feel like I'm falling.
I'm falling and nobody's there to catch me.
[Elvira.]
This warning signal is meant to remind us that we are a family.
That we need to be understanding of one another.
If not, who else will be for us? There's so little love in this world.
[moaning.]
I want a peaceful home.
I'd rather you wait in the car.
No, that way, we can talk.
You're not alone.
Listen.
You must let me go alone.
Because I I don't want you to see me like a sick person.
I don't want to be associated with the hospital and all that.
What will make me live is the disease never coming between us.
That will make me feel beautiful and alive.
You understand? You say that because of your mother.
Exactly.
Go.
I'll wait here.
[woman on pa.]
Calling Mr.
and Mrs.
Bertrand to the admissions office.
Can I help you? - Excuse me? - You're looking for something? No, thank you.
SUBJECT: "MADAME BOVARY" [Charonne's "Fade" playing over speakers.]
IN 1836, FLAUBERT [bell jingles.]
You're the type That can never be replaced You were there from the beginning - Hello.
- Hello.
It's all the same to me I guess that makes y'all my enemy 'Cause you went and took A friend from me You were my childhood You were my adolescence I loved you Never had to use a false pretense Can I help you? Yes, I'm coming for the photo classes.
With Patrick.
Is he your dad? Yes.
You look alike.
He's not here? Uh, no, I'm covering for him.
Is something wrong? No.
Is that your mother? She's beautiful, huh? And is he with her now? I guess so.
Can I help you with something specific? Oh, no.
- Should I let my dad know you came? - No need.
I'll come back.
Bye.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
I'M IN THE WAITING ROOM.
I'M NEXT.
[cell phone beeps.]
PATRICK I LOVE YOU.
[Elvira chuckles.]
THE POISONER NOW DEAD - [Carole.]
Hi, Dad.
- Hi.
How are you? Good.
I'm writing my paper.
Any customers? Not really.
The pharmacist came looking for you.
Ah.
Did she tell you why? She said she had the hots for you and that she wanted you to come by.
She did? [chuckles.]
Come on, be real.
I don't know.
She was really weird.
I don't know what she wanted.
She was looking for you.
Ha, ha.
Very funny.
And And Mom? Mom is fine.
I just dropped her off.
She was a bit stressed, but she'll be fine.
Don't worry.
I love you, honey.
I love you, too, Dad.
I'm keeping you and Mom in my thoughts.
[Catriona Irving's "History & the Victors" playing.]
I'm going to ace this paper.
- Love you.
- Love you.
MOM IS FINE.
SHE'S DOING TESTS.
DAD IS WITH HER.
SHOULD WE TELL NONNO? XOXO - See you later.
- See you.
It's oh, oh, oh It's a long time coming along [cell phone ringing.]
Long time coming along I don't have my glasses.
Can you read that for me? Long time coming [cell phone ringing.]
NONNO IGNORE What's up? It's done.
We'll get the results in three or four days.
How? Through the mail.
It won't be long.
They didn't say anything else? No.
They told me to wait.
- [Nonno.]
Elvira.
- What is he doing here? It's not me.
I didn't tell him.
- What are you doing here? - [in Italian.]
If Samuel hadn't told me, you wouldn't either, right? It's nothing, just a routine check-up.
[in French.]
So, why are the kids so worried? Eh? Because they're kids.
[in Italian.]
What is this mess? I'm scared something will happen.
To you, too.
I'm sorry.
Why apologize? Are you crazy? Maybe.
[in French.]
You know I love you, right? No.
I don't know.
I don't know it enough, Dad.
Hmm.
PHARMACY I added a pumice stone, Ms.
Arnaud.
- This is not mine.
- It's a gift.
Oh, okay.
And this? Is it a gift, too? Not at all.
You have to pay for this.
Oh, thank you.
Goodbye, ma'am.
Hi.
Get out.
- What? - You came to invite me to the wedding? Hold on Keep your shitty life.
Your shitty dreams.
Your nasty kids.
I'm being vulgar, aren't I? Well, so are you.
You're mediocre.
- Sir? - I'm not done.
Sir? This way, please.
- [man.]
Hello.
- [woman.]
Hello.
Hold on.
Come on.
Elvira has breast cancer.
She was diagnosed.
It seems to be pretty bad.
Are you okay? Of course I'm not okay.
What do you want me to do now? It's awful.
I'll be jealous of her, of her disease.
I'll want her to die.
Please don't say that.
Leave.
- Come on, Brigitte - Leave! Look.
My letter to the head office.
I'm suing him in labor court.
- Brunet? - Mm-hm.
This morning, he said he dreamt I was giving birth to a monster, like Sigourney Weaver in Alien.
Those words exactly? I have it recorded.
There you go.
Do you remember a life insurance contract for a client who had the same name as a city? Laval? A palindrome.
Wasn't it breast cancer? It was.
But "Laval" is a palindrome.
A word you can read both ways.
Laval.
I was joking.
Thank you.
Why do you ask? - Brunet's asking.
- Ah? Okay.
- Are you coming for lunch? - No, I've got some more work to do.
[all chattering.]
Elvira, take your things, you're coming with me to Gillers.
- [Elvira.]
But it's lunch time.
- Right.
Let's get off our asses.
- Isn't the expert supposed to go on site? - Yes.
But if I know one thing, it's that experts are not to be trusted.
A bunch of scam artists.
So? They said the CEO was having lunch at a Chinese restaurant two blocks away from here.
Perfect.
Do you really want to bother him during his break? [traditional Chinese music playing over speakers.]
- Really? - You didn't order wine.
If you have wine every day [in Mandarin.]
Thank you.
The expert is coming this afternoon.
I hope Christine won't break.
She'll be our weak link.
She's freaking out because we invoiced the laptop she got for her son's birthday.
- And her new coffee machine.
- [man 1.]
It's only fair, isn't it? Given what Gépéma squeezes out of us.
I proposed an invoice, but Accounting wasn't interested.
- What was it? - A hair dryer.
We're not a salon.
[man 1.]
Thanks, anyway.
We can't get caught.
I have your backs.
We'll play the expert.
Easy peasy.
Lying, Elvira.
Not an amateur's game.
When you lie it has to be neat.
And beautiful.
And if you can't do that you have to tell the truth.
I, for one, don't lie.
Simply because my memory's bad.
FRENCH ASSIGNMEN WATCH YOUR SPELLING 8/20 Otherwise, I would have been a great scam artist.
WATCH YOUR SPELLING - 12/20 Well, I'm an insurer To get away with it, you need to be creative very organized and coldhearted.
I am too much of a sentimentalist.
There's one thing you need to keep in mind, Elvira.
Always beware of your neighbors.
[closing theme playing.]