Neverwhere s01e02 Episode Script

My name is Richard Mayhew.
Three days ago, I found this girl bleeding on the pavement, so I stopped to help her.
I mean, I did help her maybe a bit too much.
Next thing I knew, I'd lost my job, my home and my fiancée.
And no one seemed to know who I was any more.
Right now, I'm somewhere under London, and I'm in trouble.
What? What is it? What is this? Who have you brought us, Iliaster? He's from Upworld, asking questions about the Floating Market and Door.
ILIASTER: I brought him to you, Lord Rat-speaker.
I figured you'd know what to do with him.
RAT-SPEAKER: Yes.
I know exactly what to do with him.
RICHARD: Listen, you're making a mistake, honestly.
I should slit you from gullet to gizzard and tell fortunes with your guts.
(BANGING) -Can anyone here tell me -Quiet.
(RAT SQUEAKING) He says you look exceedingly familiar.
He wants to know if he's met you afore.
I suppose it's possible.
I'm afraid all rats look the same to me.
(RAT SQUEAKING) He says he was discharging an obligation for the Marquis de Carabas.
Oh, it's that rat? Yes, actually we've met.
Actually, I think I threw a TV remote at it.
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) (RAT SQUEAKING) Hello, Ratty.
Nice to see you again.
Do you know where Door is? (RAT SQUEAKING) But, sire, I haven't a soul to spare.
(RAT SQUEAKING) How about I slash his throat and send him down to the Sewer Folk? (RAT SQUEAKING) (BANGING) He's to be taken to the market.
If you think I'm taking him down there, you're out of your mind.
Not you.
Anasthesia will take him.
She's expendable.
Do you like cat? Pipe your beady eyes on this.
What's so clever about that? You didn't hit even one finger.
Perhaps you'd show me how it should be done.
(PHONE RINGING) Croup and Vandemar, the Old Firm.
Obstacles obliterated, nuisances eradicated, bothersome limbs removed and tutelary dentistry.
Oh, yes, sir.
Yes, indeed.
Might I say how your telephonic confabulation brightens up and cheers our otherwise dull and uneventful day.
Sir, are you implying that Mr Vandemar and myself were trying to terminate the young lady's bodily functions? Well, perhaps, but only a little.
It shall not occur again.
Sir, in the matter of our contract You think you're so damn clever.
(VANDEMAR CLEARING THROAT) Eh Stop that.
-Who was that? -Our principal.
He seems to think we have been a little overzealous in our duties.
Now, little Miss Door has announced she will be hiring a bodyguard at the market tonight.
-So? -So, Mr Vandemar, shall we not also hire ourselves a bodyguard? Don't need a bodyguard, Mr Croup.
We hurt people.
We don't get hurt.
Oh, Mr Vandemar, if you cut us, do we not bleed? No.
RICHARD: So you're a rat, are you? -I'm a rat-speaker.
We talk to rats.
-What? You just chat with them? No, we do stuff for them, too.
I mean, there are some things that rats can't do, you know, not having fingers and thumbs and things.
Well, say ''open sesame'' or whatever it is you do.
-I'm really not sure I'm doing the right thing.
-Fine.
I'll be seeing you then.
Look, hold on.
It's just hard.
-The last time I was here -You found your family dead.
Well, there you go.
I could wish you the very best of luck in your future career, but I rather doubt you'll live long enough to have one.
You're a piece of work, aren't you? I'll take us in.
(SCREAMING) (GROANING) That That hurt.
Memories, -they're imprinted in the walls.
-Could have warned me.
Quite remarkable.
An associative house, every room of which is located somewhere else.
It's so imaginative.
We should have been safe here.
Let's hope your father's journal gives us some clues.
Where do we start looking? He used to go into his study and private the links until he'd finished dictating.
Well, let's start in the study then.
But I looked there.
I did.
I looked for it when I was cleaning up the body.
There, there.
There.
Can you just give me a second on my own? I'll be fine.
Fine.
-Who are they? -They call themselves Velvets.
Sleep down here in the day and walk the Upworld at night.
-Are they dangerous? -Everybody's dangerous.
Something wrong? Only everything.
-Have you always lived down there? -No.
No, I was born up here.
-You don't want to hear about me.
-I do.
Have you tried to return to the real London? You can't.
It's one or the other.
Nobody gets both.
Can he see us? It's more that he doesn't notice us.
Hey, he's going to jump.
Hey.
(GRUNTING) Idiot.
What the hell were you trying to do? Where did you come from? I think I just saved your life.
Arsehole.
He just didn't notice us.
And, even if they do, they forget all about you.
(MAN SNORING) CROUP: Surprise.
Further movement is not recommended.
Mr Vandemar might have a little accident with his old toad-sticker.
Most accidents occur in the home.
Is that not so, Mr Vandemar? I don't like statistics, Mr Croup.
Hello, Daddy.
Your mother and your sister, your brother and your father.
All dead.
How did you escape? I was lucky.
I'd gone off exploring for a few days.
Did you know there's still some Roman soldiers camped out by the Kilburn River? They were deserters from the 1 9th Legion, I think.
Anyway, when I got back Pull yourself together.
We have to find out who did this.
We know who did it.
It was Croup and Vandemar.
They are arms, hands, fingers.
There's a head that ordered it that wants you dead too.
Now, his journal? It is here.
How are we, Varney? Well, we trust? In fine form, fetlock and fettle for the market tonight? Do you know who we are? There is talk that a certain young lady will be auditioning bodyguards this evening.
Had you thought of trying out for the task? Enunciate clearly.
Varney is the best bravo and guard in the Underside.
Everyone knows that.
They say I'm the best since Hunter's day.
Well, then, best bravo and guard, we want you to go to the market tonight.
We want you to become that certain young lady's personal bodyguard.
Then, once you've got the job, you can guard her from the rest of the world.
But when we want her, we take her.
Got it? -Are you bribing me? -No.
We're threatening you.
And if you don't do what Mr Croup says, we're hurting you very badly, before killing you even badlier.
Well, I'm working for you then, ain't I? Welcome aboard.
-Here.
-Well done.
I don't know how I could have missed it before.
Well, you were upset.
I was certain it would be here.
I am so rarely wrong.
How does this work? What is this Floating Market going to be like then? Very big.
I got this there, look.
-I swapped some stuff for it.
-Very nice.
(WOMAN SCREAMING) To tell the truth, you'll laugh at me, I'm a little scared.
Scared? Of the market? -No.
There's a truce in the market.
-What are you scared of, then? Getting there, really.
They hold it in different places, moves around.
And to get to the place where it'll be tonight we have to go through a really nasty neighbourhood.
And where would that be? -Knightsbridge.
-Knightsbridge.
It applies to all of us who live here in London Below.
Still, I'm of the opinion that what cripples us all is our petty factionalism.
A system of baronies and fiefdoms.
It's foolish.
It's divisive.
(THUDDING) I don't know how long I've got before they get to this room.
I think my poor Portia and the other children are dead.
Now, listen to me, child, go to Islington.
Trust Islington.
We were working together to bring the peace.
You must believe me, child.
Islington.
Door.
Door.
Avenge us.
Avenge your family.
(EXCLAIMS) Islington.
I've never had any dealings with Islington.
I I thought it was just a legend.
Not at all.
We're gonna find out who killed my family and we're gonna avenge them.
I've never crossed the bridge before.
(SCREAMS) Hey.
Someone was in my way.
Someone should watch where they're going.
You leave him alone.
He's my friend.
-You all right? -Yeah.
I'm fine.
That was really brave of you.
If you're crossing the bridge, I go with you.
Well You're welcome to join us.
I'm Richard Mayhew This is Anasthesia.
-She's the one of us that knows what she's doing.
-You're from London Above? Yes.
Travelling with a rat-speaker, my word.
I'm his guardian.
Who do you owe fealty to? I owe no man fealty, rat girl.
Have either of you crossed Knightsbridge before? Um, no.
Well, isn't this going to be fun? Is there really anything to be scared of? Only the night on the bridge.
The kind in armour? The kind that comes when the day is over.
Now is the time to be afraid of the dark.
(ROARING) (SCREAMING) Richard.
We would appear to have crossed successfully.
There was There was this Anasthesia.
Come on.
We've got to go We have to go back, she's Where is she? She's gone.
The bridge takes its toll.
Be grateful it did not take you too.
Now the market.
Come.
Why are you going to this market anyway? I'm selling personal physical services.
Ah.
Oh.
What, there? Under there.
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) Well, you're here.
Safe and more or less sound.
I have business to attend to.
Fare you well.
Hi, I'm looking for a girl named Door.
Couldn't tell me where I could find her? Don't worry about it.
this girl, by any chance? You need a bird, sir? I've got rooks or ravens, crows, starlings.
Fine, wise birds.
Tasty.
Brilliant.
No, thank you.
Information? Roof maps? Hang on.
I knows you.
You were with the Marquis de Carabas on the rooftops, eh? -I'm Old Bailey.
Remember me? -Yes.
Actually, I'm looking for the Marquis and a young girl named Door.
Diversify, I said.
Yes, you can't go on selling rooks from the stewpot forever.
Any case, they taste like old slippers.
Oh, they're so stupid.
-Thick as custard.
You ever eaten rook? -No.
-What will you give me? -Sorry? If I tell you your information? I don't have any money.
-Don't need money.
Here, that there.
-My hanky? Never fear, laddy.
Your quest is at an end.
Go down there, down those steps.
You can't miss them.
They're auditioning.
Enough of your beak.
Thank ye for a little flag.
MARQUIS: That one's promising.
He doesn't look very nice.
Nice, in a bodyguard, is about as useful as the ability to regurgitate whole lobsters.
He looks dangerous.
Door.
Richard? -Door.
-I don't believe this.
Temple and Arch, Richard, what are you doing here? Yeah, it's nice to see you, too.
-What's happening? -You are out of your depth in deep shit and, I would expect, a few hours away from an untimely and undoubtedly messy end.
We, on the other hand, are auditioning bodyguards.
I think we've seen enough.
Thank you all.
Mr Varney, if you could wait behind.
Why did you have to come here? Well, I didn't really have much choice.
And your previous satisfied employers include? Olympia, the Crouch Enders, Seven Sisters, you know.
We're very impressed with your skills.
I thought you were hiring professionals, not competent amateurs.
I'm here to audition.
Very well.
I have to fight her? Yes, unless you'd like a little lie down first.
(VARNEY GROANING) Try something like that again and I'll break off both your arms and make you carry them home in your teeth.
Enough.
I'm called Hunter.
-The Hunter? -That's right.
I'm back.
(BELL TOLLING) Five minutes.
HUNTER: Where are we going? DOOR: We're looking for Islington.
Not a journey I've ever made.
MARQUIS: Well, Earl's Court contains all the shortcuts of the Underside.
-DOOR: We'll need to find Earl's Court, then.
-Oi.
MARQUIS: I was afraid you were going to say that.
DOOR: Can you stop people killing me? HUNTER: Can you take orders? -If I have to.
-Good, then maybe I can keep you alive.
You're dead.
You're bloody dead, you are.
RICHARD: Look, I really don't want to be a bother or anything, but what about me? It's like I've walked into a nightmare.
I want my life back.
You won't get it back travelling with us, Richard.
It's gonna be hard enough for you anyway.
I'm really sorry.
Hang on.
RICHARD: Door? Door? MARQUIS: Go away.
Look, you're on your own.
If you can survive for the first day or two, you might even make it through a whole month.
Best of luck.
Shit.
CROUP: Varney is the finest bravo and guard in the Underside.
Everyone knows that.
-Mr Varney told us so himself.
-VANDEMAR: It's not nice to lie, Mr Croup.
(VARNEY SCREAMING) VARNEY: No.
No.
No.
CROUP: Really, we ought to look on it as a mercy killing.
Richard.
What? You really wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for me, and I don't think it could be any safer coming with us, but Well, coming? I'm not doing anything else right now.
Why not? Where are we going? Right now we're looking for an angel called Islington.
Oh, an angel.
Right, of course, yes.
An angel called Islington.
We've got a long way to go.
An angel.