Packed to the Rafters (2008) s01e02 Episode Script
Playing a Googly
DAVE: Six runs to win and one ball to bowl.
They might call it a 'friendly', but a weekend knock around with the local second eleven, it's anything but.
It's a contest.
A test of skills.
A test of manhood.
MEN: Ohhh, Warney.
(LAUGH) But as any cricket fan will tell you, the spin on the ball can be very hard to read.
And when life sends down a googly, that's the real test.
My first challenge was facing my last day at Banetfs.
I'm proud of you.
Hey, Dave, don't forget the keys to the van 'cause you won't be needing them anymore.
Catch.
You're gonna have to do better than that, Dave.
You still playing cricket on the weekend or did you quit that too? Why don't you leave this and I'll bring it home.
Nah, I got it.
Well, have a nice life, everyone.
Nice working with you all.
Ron, your idea of loyalty stinks, but it wasn't all that bad.
No hard feelings? Well, your decision, Dave.
Um, you're always welcome back.
No, I won't be back.
Unless, of course, I hear that Julie's copping grief for no good reason.
Then I will be.
The first day of the rest of my life.
So why did I feel like the rules of the game were suddenly shifting? Hey, Dad.
Hey, Dave.
Sammy.
How did Ron take the news? Ron wasn't happy but he gets what he gets.
So you've just left.
No two weeks notice.
Why waste time? Where's the van? Gone, with the job.
Well, you won't be wanting the garage, then, because the Volvo, it needs a garage and if you're van-less, then no problem.
Well, what about Mum's car? Good one, Dad.
Any more rust on that pile of junk would be a bonus.
It's what's holding it together.
Nathan.
No, it's alright.
Dad knows.
It's fine.
Um, do you want to give us a hand? Sure.
Dad.
Um, that's great.
Just dump them in the hall and we'll be out in a sec.
BEN: Ah, the man himself.
Thought I recognised the European car.
What's with all the boxes'? You know what.
Don't tell me you're moving back home.
And where are you? Where are you living? On Carbo's sofa bed.
Not at home, but.
Not back in my old room.
Not like some.
What was it you used to call me? Ben.
Tragic loser.
Hurts, doesn't it? Leave you to it.
Hope you two aren't gonna play silly buggers the whole time you're back here.
No, Ben doesn't have the word-power for it.
That was pretty much it, I think.
Anyway, I was just thinking About you walking in on Sammy and I before, I think we're gonna have to lay down some ground rules.
Not a biggie, but obviously we're not kids anymore, and we're gonna have to start respecting each other's privacy.
Nathan, the door was open.
Sure.
But if it is shut, in the future, maybe just.
.
.
maybe just knock, yeah? Oh, and about the garage.
When do you think we might get a chance to start clearing out some space? Soon.
Soon, good.
Cool.
Leave you to it.
(TU N ES GUITAR) (PLAYS TUNE) Mr Rafter! Hi! Do you have minute? Um, well Oh, so glad I caught you.
Um, listen.
I can understand this could be awkward for you but you really don't have to be embarrassed.
We don't have to talk about this right now.
No, I want to clear the air.
I'm a nurse.
I see things like that all the time.
Well, maybe not all the time, but the genitals are just another body part to me.
OK.
Yep.
And as for those pills, men take them all the time and often incorrectly.
Look, I've got to go now.
Sure.
I just wanted you to know that it's between us.
OK.
Patient confidentiality.
OK, thanks.
OK.
'Bye.
So, Dad, um, sorry, have you found any jobs in the paper'? Um, I don't know.
I'll just leave it for a few days.
And then what? Thinking about starting my own business.
You do know you're gonna need some experience for that'? He's got experience.
Yeah, with the electrical stuff, sure, but what about the rest of it? What about, you know, having a business plan, marketing strategy, you know, and stuff'? Well, it's not rocket science.
I'll pick it up.
Like I said, no rush.
No.
What? Dave.
You can't walk around like that now that Sammy's here.
Whose house is it? She's gone to bed anyway.
Got an early start.
Why didn't you tell the kids that Ted was moving in'? One step at a time.
Is he alright? Yeah, he's fine.
He needs some time to get back on his feet.
(NATHAN LAUGHS) (MOANS) (LAUGHS) Might have to get the place soundproofed.
Yeah, well, if we do, they're paying for it.
(LAUGHS) How was work today'? Not the same.
I swear if anyone tries anything, Ron or Warney Oh, I can fight my own battles, thank you.
You focus on finding a job.
I can do all those things that Nathan said.
I know.
Hey, you made the break.
Now make the most of it.
Oh.
Oh! OH! oh, Yeah! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, Mummy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah! (JULIE AND DAVE LAUGH) Don't you think they heard? (LAUGHS) You know, this is stupid.
Come here.
Nathan, no! What do you mean, 'no'? Now I feel all self-conscious! We're really that loud'? No, we were just getting started.
No, but have you ever heard them like that before'? No.
I haven't.
(SNORTS) Well, maybe since you moved out they've been getting a little bit More adventurous? Eugh! (LAUGHS) Oh, now you're making me self-conscious.
Why is that, though? Why is that'? What? Well, the last thing in the whole world you want to hear is your parents having sex.
Oh, no, that'll be us one day.
No, it won't.
(LAUGHS) Come on, we can keep it down.
Apparently not.
So DAVE: How much actual sex we'd get to enjoy, that was another matter.
Especially the way the household was growing.
I picked up the clothes you wanted.
Hope I got everything.
Did anyone see you? No, and even if they did, it doesn't matter.
You're convalescing at your daughter's house, that's all they need to know.
You haven't said anything to anyone? No, of course not.
Not Dave? No.
Trust me, he's got other things on his mind anyway.
Look, Dad, however long you need, whatever it takes, it's OK.
Let's get you home.
Here, give me that.
DAVE: Good to see you, Ted.
Sorry I didn't get to the hospital with Julie.
Too busy sorting this place out.
You'll have to stick with us.
Bit of a madhouse at the moment.
But we'll be right.
I'll take that.
I'm fine.
I'm not an invalid.
Dad, you're just out of hospital.
I'mfine.
Put you in Ben's old room, if that's OK'? Don't worry.
It's been fumigated.
There you go.
All yours.
I'm not sure what the doctor's instructions are, but I've got a sixpack on ice for later if you're thirsty.
Another time, eh? He's, umhe's tired.
DAVE: But whatever the deal with Ted, it was nothing compared to the grenade that was lobbed at our front door later that night.
(DOORBELL RINGS) Rachel? Oh, Mum.
Oh, baby.
(SOBS) What's going on? I need to talk to Mum.
Rachel? No, please, Dad.
Just Mum.
I need to know who did this to you.
Rachel! Dave, please.
Hey.
It's just me.
Um, is Rachel here? Yep.
Yeah.
I thought I heard her and Mum.
Just didn't sound like I should interrupt.
No.
Is everything OK withRachel? Who was it? Um, Nathan, can you give us a sec? Yeah, sure.
'Night.
Listen, leave Rachel for now.
She's, umshe's sleeping.
OK.
It's not gonna work.
What? Having him and Sammy here.
Oh, Dave.
So what's going on? Am I calling the police? She doesn't want that.
It was Daniel.
Yep.
I'm gonna take his head off.
It's not gonna solve anything.
Well, what am I supposed to do? He bashed my daughter.
She wants to see you.
I thought you said she was asleep.
She wants her dad.
You OK'? I will be.
I feel so stupid.
This isn't your fault.
And it isn't Daniel's fault.
You know every instinct I have is to jump in my car right now The thought of anyone laying a finger on you Daniel's got problems.
He should have problems with the police.
No, no.
Please, I don't want that.
I just wannaforget everything.
Rachel, you can't pretend this didn't happen.
I know, it's just he used to be so happy, you know'? So funny.
Now he just gets angry.
Alcohol? I don't know what to do.
Well, you stay right here.
And you promise me you'll stay away from Daniel.
Dad, promise you won't hurt him.
Rachel, this guy hits you, and you're protecting him? Dad, promise! Dad.
You promise you'll never see him again? Yes.
SONG: Meet me down by the jetty landing Where the pontoons bump and spray And all the others reading standing As the Manly ferry Cuts its way to Circular Quay (RACHEL CRIES) Hear the captain blow his whistle So long she's been away I miss our early morning wrestle Not a very haPPV Way to start the day She don't like that kind of behaviour I want to talk to you.
Go home, Rafter.
Daniel, open the door.
Daniel! Get out now! (YELLS) Throw down your guns Don't be so reckless Throw down your guns Don't be so reckless She sent you over for a little chat, did she?! Throw down your guns Don't be so reckless Throw down your guns Don't be so reckless.
(GROANS) Mr Rafter! We've got to stop meeting like this.
What happened? I got myself into a bit of a situation.
What situation? Dave? Well, no fractures.
That's good news.
(SCOFFS) You wouldn't be saying that if you were playing cricket tomorrow.
This guy really went for you.
Have you seen him like this before'? Never.
He just went nuts.
You know, he's always been a great guy.
Polite and helpful.
Why? Would you describe him as a party boy? I don't know.
He likes to drink.
Have you ever seen him sweating, off his food, irrational, snappy? Why? Sounds like he could be using crystal meth.
What? Don't quote me on it.
But we see so much of it here.
The symptoms are pretty obvious.
Crystal meth? (DOOR CLOSES) Oh, God.
What happened? I went and visited Daniel.
Daniel did this? Yeah.
Or his psychotic double.
Darling.
Are you OK'? Yeah, I will be.
Nothing broken.
What were you thinking? Anything could have happened.
And you promised Rachel.
Yeah.
I should have kept it.
All I know is we might have a bigger problem than a broken promise.
Well, Daniel definitely wasn't himself at our anniversary.
And she looked terrible the next day.
If he's involved her in drugs We can't know that.
Well, we know she's been partying.
(DOOR OPENS) (SIGHS) (RUNS TAP) You alright, mate? (DOOR CLOSES) Rachel first.
Alright, what are we going to do? I think we're going to have to tread carefully.
Respect her as an adult and talk to her.
She can't go back to work, with him there.
And I think it should just be me.
Jules, you're not shutting me out of this.
Look at your face.
What sort of message is that sending? If we want her to talk openly with us, she's got to trust us.
Justl think you should go to the cricket tomorrow, get some of that aggression out on Warney I'm not going to play cricket.
She's my daughter too.
Shh! OK! Shush! Just until I've had a chance to talk to her about Daniel, OK'? Please.
Justleave this one to me.
I've got to get my own car.
It's like losing a testicle.
You've been freelance one day.
Give yourself a break.
Call me.
OK'? Let me know how you get on.
Good luck against Warney and co.
Luck I need like a hole in the head.
What a day to have to play that mob.
Think of the morale boost when you win.
We will win.
(DOOR CLOSES) Hey, Dad.
You're off early.
I was gonna grab a lift to the game.
Ooh! What happened to you? Can't talk, mate.
But I'll see you at the oval.
(CLOSES DOOR) (STARTS E NG I N E) Ooh.
Ooh! Ooh.
Morning.
Hi.
Like Central Station in here.
Oh! Did no-one think to put the kettle on? NATHAN: We're gonna grab a coffee in town.
Saturday's my big inspection day and Sammy's got an early start.
Actually, Nathan, we've got to go.
Running late.
See you guys tonight.
'Bye.
Um, Mum, what's the deal with Rach'? Nothing.
Well, I heard her crying last night.
Er, she's.
.
.
she's fine.
Should I take her a juice'? No, actually.
She's OK.
Really.
You get to work.
OK.
'Bye.
'Bye.
Do you get the feeling we should have read the fine print? What do you mean? Well, I didn't sign up for this.
Grandpa moping around like a wet towel, Rachel crying all night.
Well, she was obviously upset about something.
Obviously she was.
And I feel for her.
But.
.
.
is this what you wanted? It takes us half an hour longer to get to work.
If we wanna go out, we have to go straight from work.
If I'm driving, then I can't drink.
And if I'm not driving, then it costs a fortune in cabs.
Yeah, but it's OK.
It's comfortable.
Is it'? Mmm.
It's not forever.
It's long enough.
Nathan, they're your family.
Yep.
They are my entire family.
Like I said, not in the fine print.
(GRUNTS) How are you, Dad? Er, didn't sleep too well.
Is Rachel OK'? (DOOR CLOSES) Yeah, she's fine.
She's just, um G'day, Grandad.
How's it going'? Ben.
Talk about good timing - me moving out and all.
How long are you planning on staying? I'll be in my room.
So, is that Rachel's car in the street? Yep.
What's going on? Nothing.
Did Dad get into a ruck with Ron Barrett? No, of course not! I don't want to talk about it, OK'? Well, that's what he said.
Come on.
What happened? Ben, I've got other things on my mind! You moved next door.
Just keep your mind on next door's business.
Yeah, OK.
Sorry.
Just asking.
No, no, no.
It's terrible.
Look, Mum, I really need to go.
Look, I'm busting to go to the toilet, Mum.
It was good to hear your voice too.
Say hi to everyone.
Say hi to Aunty Narelle.
Yeah, I love you too.
'Bye.
(SIGHS) Hey, Carbo.
Just give me a second.
Please.
Are you alright? Yeah, yeah.
I was just talking to my mum.
In Greece? Of course in Greece.
Well, not about the party.
Did someone dob? No, it's all sweet.
She's just worried about my Aunty Narelle and Uncle Dimitri.
Oh, right.
Hey, get a load of this.
I just saw Dad with this awesome shiner.
And Mum's so dirty about something she won't even talk to me.
No way.
This is too much of a coincidence.
Weird.
What is? Well, my Aunty Narelle and Uncle Dimitri.
Your old man just got retrenched, right? So'? The same thing happened to Dimitri.
Next thing you know he's fighting with my aunty and he's having an affair.
Yeah, but Dad wouldn't.
I'm just saying.
It happens, mate.
You know'? A man loses his job.
Self-esteem goes down the gurgler.
He starts looking around.
Yeah, but not in less than 24 hours.
And Dad wasn't retrenched.
He resigned.
Well, how come he's got a black eye, then? You're a crack-up.
You seriously are a crack-up.
Not everything has to be a Greek tragedy.
DAVE: Jules was right.
Get it all out on the field.
It'd be my turn to help Rachel soon enough.
Are you playing it defensive today'? Yeah, I'm not taking anything for chance.
Not against Warney.
Thanks, John.
Ooh, crumbs.
What did you do to your eye? That looks awful.
CARBOI What did I tell ya? What? About your dad getting toey.
Look right there.
Don't be stupid.
That's Chrissy.
It's Mum's best friend.
She always comes to cricket matches.
Yep.
That's who my Uncle Dimitri ended up with.
My Aunty Narelle's best friend.
Shut up.
I'm telling you, it happens.
I bet you any money.
Any money you like.
(MEN CHEER) Mate's rates? No! I'm not looking for mate's rates.
It's just a few jobs.
If you could have a look at them.
Are you giving me my first freelance gig? Well, yes, I suppose I am.
WARNEY: G'day, Dave.
How's unemployment land? Yeah, I've been looking for a few jobs for you online.
But it's not looking good for old farts, so Don't worry, darlin'.
You're really not that old.
No way.
Dad.
Look who I recruited to your cheer squad.
Hey, Carbo.
I haven't seen you for a while.
Mr Rafter.
Where's Mum? Hi.
Oh.
Hi.
No-one here? Good.
I don't think I could stand the scrutiny.
Did you manage to get some sleep? No.
Are you hungry? No.
Come and sit with me.
Mmm, sounds ominous.
Listen, sweetheart, I'm not going to sugar-coat this.
OK.
Your dad and I are here for you.
You know that, don't you? And you're getting all serious because? Does Daniel take drugs? Specifically, does he take crystal meth? Is that why he hit you? What makes you think that'? Your dad went over there.
He promised.
Yeah, he knows he promised.
Yeah, well, he had no right.
So it is true.
Look, Daniel is sick.
He is an addict.
Daniel attacked your father.
He ended up in hospital.
No.
Oh, that's awful.
Where is he? He's alright.
He's at the cricket.
But, look, he's he's worried about you, Rachel.
We both are.
If Daniel's doing that, then we can't help wondering No, Mum.
No.
Look, I'm not judging you, OK'? I just No, Mum! Are you telling me the truth? I'm not doing drugs.
I swear.
I am not doing drugs.
OK.
DAVE: And there we were.
And I was on fire.
Dave.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Stop.
Come in a bit, boys.
What's taking him so long'? Typical Warney tactic.
He's trying to psych Dad out.
Don't worry.
Your father can handle it.
What's your name again? Carbo.
Nick.
Open this for us, Nick? Sure.
MAN: Put some spin on it, Warney.
Carn! Put some spin on it.
Come on, Dad.
Keep it together.
Don't let him get to you.
(POP!) (WHACK!) Arghhh! ALL: Oh! (LAUGHS) That's got to hurt! On, Warney! (CHUCKLES) Sorry, mate.
I'm really sorry.
Ooh! (GRUNTS) DAVE: Suddenly, it was war.
Come on, Dad.
Smack him out of the paddock.
Hit him for six.
DAVE: And that was the plan.
Six off the last ball.
Sweet victory within reach.
MEN: Oh! Warney! (MEN LAUGH) MAN: Come on, Warney! (ALL CHEER) But Wamey had sent down that googly (MEN CHEER) "and we were gone.
Nice work.
Off you go.
Whoo-hoo! See ya! VVarney's a jerk, Dad.
Good bowler, but.
Tell me something I don't know.
Well, I'm out of here.
Where are you going'? You said you had jobs you wanted me to do.
Yeah.
Well, you live around here.
Let's do it now.
OK.
See you, boys.
Any money you like.
(SIGHS) (UNLOCKS DOOR) I know I've said this before but Greg didn't exactly skimp on the divorce settlement.
(CH UCKLES) With my lawyer, he was lucky to escape with the shirt on his back.
But as Dolly Parton once said, âlt costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
" You don't look cheap.
You look great.
(LAUGHS) Thanks.
To be perfectly honest, if he left me that well-off, I wouldn't be working at Barrett's.
Nor would Julie if I had anything to do with it.
If I get my own business up and running, maybe she won't have to.
Well, they're the lights I was telling you about.
Horribly expensive to put in.
Horribly annoying that they keep not working.
That'll be your transformer.
Yeah, well, don't blind me with science.
Are they fixable'? (WOLF-WHISTLES) (SCOFFS) This old thing? What did I tell you? She's putting on sunscreen.
So what? She's turning ME on.
What? (PHONE RINGS) (PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) I'll get it.
Hello? Greg.
Yes.
Oh.
No.
Yeah, well, it is a surprise.
But congratulations.
It's really No.
No.
No, really.
Thanksthanks thanks for letting me know.
OK.
Yeah, you too.
'Bye.
Everything alright? Sally's pregnant.
(SNIFFLES) He wanted to tell me himself.
Ah! (PANICKED BREATHING) Every time, he gets me! Every single bloody time! HEY, hey, hey, hey.
It's alright.
It's alright.
It's OK.
(SOBS) Shh.
The bet's off.
It doesn't feel right.
I don't believe it.
What are you going to do now'? Wait.
Ah, thanks.
Oh, Dad, you don't have to hole up in your room all day.
Come and sit with me.
(DOOR OPENS) (DOOR CLOSES) SAMMY: Hi! Ooh.
Hello.
You're home early.
Yeah.
Um, I just got a taxi.
Just from the supermarket.
I thought I might cook dinner tonight.
Whoa! Now, there's a sentence I don't hear very often.
You know, there's a bus from the supermarket.
Is there? Mmm.
I wasn't sure.
Sam, have you ever caught public transport ever in your life? Yeah.
I just got a train before.
Oh.
And how was the experience? OK.
I caught a taxi.
Oh! What? From the city? I know! You can't tell Nathan.
He told me how expensive they were.
I had no idea.
It'll never happen again.
I promise.
(SIGHS) Now, on that note, how are you, Ted? I might have my tea in my room.
Dad.
At my own pace, Julie.
There'll be other blokes.
Yeah.
With male pattern baldness and an early midlife crisis.
I'm telling you, if this is what blokes do to you, I'm changing teams.
Chrissy goes gay? I don't think so.
(LAUGHS) Well, I like cars and cricket.
Might as well go the whole hog.
Well, life bowls you a googly every now and then.
You've just got to brush yourself down and get on with it.
You're not still obsessing about Warney, surely.
No, no, no.
I just A win would have been good, you know'? A vote of confidence in the future.
I'll drink to that.
DAVE: Cheers, love.
I'll talk to you on Monday.
CHRISSY: I knew I could count on you.
Reckon I got a future in the trade? You can fix my halogens any time.
We'll see you again.
Hey, listen, I'm happy to recommend.
I've got lots of single girlfriends who are just as hopeless with fuses.
See ya.
Thanks.
See ya.
See ya.
Mate, what are you doing? Mate.
Ben, get back here! I don't believe you! Excuse me? Is this all because you got retrenched? What are you talking about? She's Mum's best friend.
Don't you reckon at least you could've been a bit less obvious? Like, someone Mum doesn't know'? I mean, Chrissy - it's just off.
And why would you want to go there anyway when you've got the most gorgeous woman in the world Hang on a second, Ben.
I was fixing her halogens.
I don't care what you call it.
I saw you.
Saw me what? Hugging.
When? Just now.
What? Just after her ex-husband called and she got upset'? (SCOFFS) And the bathers.
And the putting on the sunscreen What, Ben? The sun's shining.
People get sunburnt.
So, what about your black eye? Look, I might be unemployed.
I might not have anything on the horizon.
I might have just had the crap beaten out of me by your sister's boyfriend.
But let me tell you Daniel.
There is only one woman Correction.
Two women in this world that have ever seen my privates.
And Chrissy's not one of them.
But you did get one thing right.
Yeah? Your mother is gorgeous.
(ENGINE STARTS) (SIGHS) I'm never listening to you again.
Well, what happened? Not a word, mate.
Not one word.
JULIE: Oh, hey.
How'd you go? What's with all the closed doors? Sorry'? Why do I get the feeling there's things going on that I don't know'? Nothing's going on.
I resigned my job, Jules, not my position as a member of this family.
I mean, what is wrong with this picture? My own son thinks that my self-esteem is so low that I'd jump into an affair to bolster my ego.
What? You think that I've mishandled things that badly you won't even let me talk to my own daughter.
I mean, is that what my family think about me - I lose my job and I fall apart'? And what's the story with Ted locked away in his room like he doesn't want to know anyone? Shh! Dave, no! Closed doors - I don't like them.
OK.
Dad Dad is here because he's too embarrassed to go home.
Embarrassed? Why? When the ambulance came to take him to hospital, the neighbours saw him.
And? I don't need this, Jules.
I don't need protecting.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) DAVE: In life, as in cricket Yeah.
the best way to play that unexpected ball is straight G'day.
Can I have a word with you about something? defensive, protective.
Sure.
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but, um I know, mate.
And it's alright.
Did Julie'? I don't like secrets, Ted.
Not in my own house.
But if it helps, um if I think of me and Julie I don't know what I'd do without her.
And if I lost her âanything I could do âanything I could do that might bring her back, even a sense of her, whatever it was - wearing her clothes I'd do it too.
You're welcome here as long as you need, alright? I might see you at dinner, hey? Leave it open, mate.
(LISA MITCHELL SINGS 'SLOW') (KNOCK AT DOOR) Hey.
Hey.
Look at the two of us.
Dad, you promised.
Mmm.
And look what happened.
But you know why I had to do it, don't you? Because I'm your father.
And I'm here to protect you.
It's what nature's wired me for.
So you can call it primitive if you like.
But until they put me in a home and, well, probably not even then I'll be looking out for you.
Because you'll always be my little girl.
And I love you.
(SNIFFLES) We're here for you whatever happens, OK'? OK.
And, now, you told your mum you don't do drugs.
Yeah, Dad, I And we believe you.
But if you ever need to talk about anything I'm here.
Do you hear what I'm saying? (SNIFFLES) (MUSIC CONTINUES) Dad.
Thanks.
(CLOSES DOOR) When you say 'go' J"Oh Ilsay Slow Ilsay Slow Ilsay Slow Ilsay Slow.
DAVE: Sometimes playing it straight sets clear ground rules for the match ahead.
Dad, what's Mum's car doing in the garage? Keeping dry.
Rust issues.
I thought we talked about this.
No, you talked.
I decided no.
But No, Nathan.
Sometimes playing it straight says, âDon't mess with my team.
â A bit early, isn't it? How'd you get in here? Don't worry.
I won't take long.
I just wanted to say a couple of things.
Firstly, don't be here tomorrow morning.
I'll come by with Rachel to pick up her things.
Secondly get some help, mate - you need it.
And finally, I'm not afraid of you, Daniel.
You touch my daughter again and I'll come back.
And you won't take me by surprise next time.
Get some help.
(DOOR CLOSES) (TV PLAYS SOFTLY) My dad reckons only two women have ever seen his todger.
Two.
Yeah? That's two up on you, then.
I'd kill to know who the other one was.
If he's not saying I don't rate your chances.
It's frustrating, huh? Nope.
It's none of your business.
DAVE: In my book, the best cricket match of all has only two rules.
First - the whole family plays.
Come on, darling.
You can do it.
And second - there are no rules.
Oh, please! What! Just bowl! Come on.
Tensing, tensing.
Oh! Oh, come on! Just bowl it! This time - good stuff.
Lunch.
Soon! Yes.
I'm hungry! TED: Just bowl! Bowl! JULIE: Here we go.
This one.
(ALL CHEER) I got it! I got it! Oh! (GROWLS PLAYFU LLY) (ALL CALL OUT AND LAUGH) RACHEL: No! Ben!
They might call it a 'friendly', but a weekend knock around with the local second eleven, it's anything but.
It's a contest.
A test of skills.
A test of manhood.
MEN: Ohhh, Warney.
(LAUGH) But as any cricket fan will tell you, the spin on the ball can be very hard to read.
And when life sends down a googly, that's the real test.
My first challenge was facing my last day at Banetfs.
I'm proud of you.
Hey, Dave, don't forget the keys to the van 'cause you won't be needing them anymore.
Catch.
You're gonna have to do better than that, Dave.
You still playing cricket on the weekend or did you quit that too? Why don't you leave this and I'll bring it home.
Nah, I got it.
Well, have a nice life, everyone.
Nice working with you all.
Ron, your idea of loyalty stinks, but it wasn't all that bad.
No hard feelings? Well, your decision, Dave.
Um, you're always welcome back.
No, I won't be back.
Unless, of course, I hear that Julie's copping grief for no good reason.
Then I will be.
The first day of the rest of my life.
So why did I feel like the rules of the game were suddenly shifting? Hey, Dad.
Hey, Dave.
Sammy.
How did Ron take the news? Ron wasn't happy but he gets what he gets.
So you've just left.
No two weeks notice.
Why waste time? Where's the van? Gone, with the job.
Well, you won't be wanting the garage, then, because the Volvo, it needs a garage and if you're van-less, then no problem.
Well, what about Mum's car? Good one, Dad.
Any more rust on that pile of junk would be a bonus.
It's what's holding it together.
Nathan.
No, it's alright.
Dad knows.
It's fine.
Um, do you want to give us a hand? Sure.
Dad.
Um, that's great.
Just dump them in the hall and we'll be out in a sec.
BEN: Ah, the man himself.
Thought I recognised the European car.
What's with all the boxes'? You know what.
Don't tell me you're moving back home.
And where are you? Where are you living? On Carbo's sofa bed.
Not at home, but.
Not back in my old room.
Not like some.
What was it you used to call me? Ben.
Tragic loser.
Hurts, doesn't it? Leave you to it.
Hope you two aren't gonna play silly buggers the whole time you're back here.
No, Ben doesn't have the word-power for it.
That was pretty much it, I think.
Anyway, I was just thinking About you walking in on Sammy and I before, I think we're gonna have to lay down some ground rules.
Not a biggie, but obviously we're not kids anymore, and we're gonna have to start respecting each other's privacy.
Nathan, the door was open.
Sure.
But if it is shut, in the future, maybe just.
.
.
maybe just knock, yeah? Oh, and about the garage.
When do you think we might get a chance to start clearing out some space? Soon.
Soon, good.
Cool.
Leave you to it.
(TU N ES GUITAR) (PLAYS TUNE) Mr Rafter! Hi! Do you have minute? Um, well Oh, so glad I caught you.
Um, listen.
I can understand this could be awkward for you but you really don't have to be embarrassed.
We don't have to talk about this right now.
No, I want to clear the air.
I'm a nurse.
I see things like that all the time.
Well, maybe not all the time, but the genitals are just another body part to me.
OK.
Yep.
And as for those pills, men take them all the time and often incorrectly.
Look, I've got to go now.
Sure.
I just wanted you to know that it's between us.
OK.
Patient confidentiality.
OK, thanks.
OK.
'Bye.
So, Dad, um, sorry, have you found any jobs in the paper'? Um, I don't know.
I'll just leave it for a few days.
And then what? Thinking about starting my own business.
You do know you're gonna need some experience for that'? He's got experience.
Yeah, with the electrical stuff, sure, but what about the rest of it? What about, you know, having a business plan, marketing strategy, you know, and stuff'? Well, it's not rocket science.
I'll pick it up.
Like I said, no rush.
No.
What? Dave.
You can't walk around like that now that Sammy's here.
Whose house is it? She's gone to bed anyway.
Got an early start.
Why didn't you tell the kids that Ted was moving in'? One step at a time.
Is he alright? Yeah, he's fine.
He needs some time to get back on his feet.
(NATHAN LAUGHS) (MOANS) (LAUGHS) Might have to get the place soundproofed.
Yeah, well, if we do, they're paying for it.
(LAUGHS) How was work today'? Not the same.
I swear if anyone tries anything, Ron or Warney Oh, I can fight my own battles, thank you.
You focus on finding a job.
I can do all those things that Nathan said.
I know.
Hey, you made the break.
Now make the most of it.
Oh.
Oh! OH! oh, Yeah! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, Mummy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah! (JULIE AND DAVE LAUGH) Don't you think they heard? (LAUGHS) You know, this is stupid.
Come here.
Nathan, no! What do you mean, 'no'? Now I feel all self-conscious! We're really that loud'? No, we were just getting started.
No, but have you ever heard them like that before'? No.
I haven't.
(SNORTS) Well, maybe since you moved out they've been getting a little bit More adventurous? Eugh! (LAUGHS) Oh, now you're making me self-conscious.
Why is that, though? Why is that'? What? Well, the last thing in the whole world you want to hear is your parents having sex.
Oh, no, that'll be us one day.
No, it won't.
(LAUGHS) Come on, we can keep it down.
Apparently not.
So DAVE: How much actual sex we'd get to enjoy, that was another matter.
Especially the way the household was growing.
I picked up the clothes you wanted.
Hope I got everything.
Did anyone see you? No, and even if they did, it doesn't matter.
You're convalescing at your daughter's house, that's all they need to know.
You haven't said anything to anyone? No, of course not.
Not Dave? No.
Trust me, he's got other things on his mind anyway.
Look, Dad, however long you need, whatever it takes, it's OK.
Let's get you home.
Here, give me that.
DAVE: Good to see you, Ted.
Sorry I didn't get to the hospital with Julie.
Too busy sorting this place out.
You'll have to stick with us.
Bit of a madhouse at the moment.
But we'll be right.
I'll take that.
I'm fine.
I'm not an invalid.
Dad, you're just out of hospital.
I'mfine.
Put you in Ben's old room, if that's OK'? Don't worry.
It's been fumigated.
There you go.
All yours.
I'm not sure what the doctor's instructions are, but I've got a sixpack on ice for later if you're thirsty.
Another time, eh? He's, umhe's tired.
DAVE: But whatever the deal with Ted, it was nothing compared to the grenade that was lobbed at our front door later that night.
(DOORBELL RINGS) Rachel? Oh, Mum.
Oh, baby.
(SOBS) What's going on? I need to talk to Mum.
Rachel? No, please, Dad.
Just Mum.
I need to know who did this to you.
Rachel! Dave, please.
Hey.
It's just me.
Um, is Rachel here? Yep.
Yeah.
I thought I heard her and Mum.
Just didn't sound like I should interrupt.
No.
Is everything OK withRachel? Who was it? Um, Nathan, can you give us a sec? Yeah, sure.
'Night.
Listen, leave Rachel for now.
She's, umshe's sleeping.
OK.
It's not gonna work.
What? Having him and Sammy here.
Oh, Dave.
So what's going on? Am I calling the police? She doesn't want that.
It was Daniel.
Yep.
I'm gonna take his head off.
It's not gonna solve anything.
Well, what am I supposed to do? He bashed my daughter.
She wants to see you.
I thought you said she was asleep.
She wants her dad.
You OK'? I will be.
I feel so stupid.
This isn't your fault.
And it isn't Daniel's fault.
You know every instinct I have is to jump in my car right now The thought of anyone laying a finger on you Daniel's got problems.
He should have problems with the police.
No, no.
Please, I don't want that.
I just wannaforget everything.
Rachel, you can't pretend this didn't happen.
I know, it's just he used to be so happy, you know'? So funny.
Now he just gets angry.
Alcohol? I don't know what to do.
Well, you stay right here.
And you promise me you'll stay away from Daniel.
Dad, promise you won't hurt him.
Rachel, this guy hits you, and you're protecting him? Dad, promise! Dad.
You promise you'll never see him again? Yes.
SONG: Meet me down by the jetty landing Where the pontoons bump and spray And all the others reading standing As the Manly ferry Cuts its way to Circular Quay (RACHEL CRIES) Hear the captain blow his whistle So long she's been away I miss our early morning wrestle Not a very haPPV Way to start the day She don't like that kind of behaviour I want to talk to you.
Go home, Rafter.
Daniel, open the door.
Daniel! Get out now! (YELLS) Throw down your guns Don't be so reckless Throw down your guns Don't be so reckless She sent you over for a little chat, did she?! Throw down your guns Don't be so reckless Throw down your guns Don't be so reckless.
(GROANS) Mr Rafter! We've got to stop meeting like this.
What happened? I got myself into a bit of a situation.
What situation? Dave? Well, no fractures.
That's good news.
(SCOFFS) You wouldn't be saying that if you were playing cricket tomorrow.
This guy really went for you.
Have you seen him like this before'? Never.
He just went nuts.
You know, he's always been a great guy.
Polite and helpful.
Why? Would you describe him as a party boy? I don't know.
He likes to drink.
Have you ever seen him sweating, off his food, irrational, snappy? Why? Sounds like he could be using crystal meth.
What? Don't quote me on it.
But we see so much of it here.
The symptoms are pretty obvious.
Crystal meth? (DOOR CLOSES) Oh, God.
What happened? I went and visited Daniel.
Daniel did this? Yeah.
Or his psychotic double.
Darling.
Are you OK'? Yeah, I will be.
Nothing broken.
What were you thinking? Anything could have happened.
And you promised Rachel.
Yeah.
I should have kept it.
All I know is we might have a bigger problem than a broken promise.
Well, Daniel definitely wasn't himself at our anniversary.
And she looked terrible the next day.
If he's involved her in drugs We can't know that.
Well, we know she's been partying.
(DOOR OPENS) (SIGHS) (RUNS TAP) You alright, mate? (DOOR CLOSES) Rachel first.
Alright, what are we going to do? I think we're going to have to tread carefully.
Respect her as an adult and talk to her.
She can't go back to work, with him there.
And I think it should just be me.
Jules, you're not shutting me out of this.
Look at your face.
What sort of message is that sending? If we want her to talk openly with us, she's got to trust us.
Justl think you should go to the cricket tomorrow, get some of that aggression out on Warney I'm not going to play cricket.
She's my daughter too.
Shh! OK! Shush! Just until I've had a chance to talk to her about Daniel, OK'? Please.
Justleave this one to me.
I've got to get my own car.
It's like losing a testicle.
You've been freelance one day.
Give yourself a break.
Call me.
OK'? Let me know how you get on.
Good luck against Warney and co.
Luck I need like a hole in the head.
What a day to have to play that mob.
Think of the morale boost when you win.
We will win.
(DOOR CLOSES) Hey, Dad.
You're off early.
I was gonna grab a lift to the game.
Ooh! What happened to you? Can't talk, mate.
But I'll see you at the oval.
(CLOSES DOOR) (STARTS E NG I N E) Ooh.
Ooh! Ooh.
Morning.
Hi.
Like Central Station in here.
Oh! Did no-one think to put the kettle on? NATHAN: We're gonna grab a coffee in town.
Saturday's my big inspection day and Sammy's got an early start.
Actually, Nathan, we've got to go.
Running late.
See you guys tonight.
'Bye.
Um, Mum, what's the deal with Rach'? Nothing.
Well, I heard her crying last night.
Er, she's.
.
.
she's fine.
Should I take her a juice'? No, actually.
She's OK.
Really.
You get to work.
OK.
'Bye.
'Bye.
Do you get the feeling we should have read the fine print? What do you mean? Well, I didn't sign up for this.
Grandpa moping around like a wet towel, Rachel crying all night.
Well, she was obviously upset about something.
Obviously she was.
And I feel for her.
But.
.
.
is this what you wanted? It takes us half an hour longer to get to work.
If we wanna go out, we have to go straight from work.
If I'm driving, then I can't drink.
And if I'm not driving, then it costs a fortune in cabs.
Yeah, but it's OK.
It's comfortable.
Is it'? Mmm.
It's not forever.
It's long enough.
Nathan, they're your family.
Yep.
They are my entire family.
Like I said, not in the fine print.
(GRUNTS) How are you, Dad? Er, didn't sleep too well.
Is Rachel OK'? (DOOR CLOSES) Yeah, she's fine.
She's just, um G'day, Grandad.
How's it going'? Ben.
Talk about good timing - me moving out and all.
How long are you planning on staying? I'll be in my room.
So, is that Rachel's car in the street? Yep.
What's going on? Nothing.
Did Dad get into a ruck with Ron Barrett? No, of course not! I don't want to talk about it, OK'? Well, that's what he said.
Come on.
What happened? Ben, I've got other things on my mind! You moved next door.
Just keep your mind on next door's business.
Yeah, OK.
Sorry.
Just asking.
No, no, no.
It's terrible.
Look, Mum, I really need to go.
Look, I'm busting to go to the toilet, Mum.
It was good to hear your voice too.
Say hi to everyone.
Say hi to Aunty Narelle.
Yeah, I love you too.
'Bye.
(SIGHS) Hey, Carbo.
Just give me a second.
Please.
Are you alright? Yeah, yeah.
I was just talking to my mum.
In Greece? Of course in Greece.
Well, not about the party.
Did someone dob? No, it's all sweet.
She's just worried about my Aunty Narelle and Uncle Dimitri.
Oh, right.
Hey, get a load of this.
I just saw Dad with this awesome shiner.
And Mum's so dirty about something she won't even talk to me.
No way.
This is too much of a coincidence.
Weird.
What is? Well, my Aunty Narelle and Uncle Dimitri.
Your old man just got retrenched, right? So'? The same thing happened to Dimitri.
Next thing you know he's fighting with my aunty and he's having an affair.
Yeah, but Dad wouldn't.
I'm just saying.
It happens, mate.
You know'? A man loses his job.
Self-esteem goes down the gurgler.
He starts looking around.
Yeah, but not in less than 24 hours.
And Dad wasn't retrenched.
He resigned.
Well, how come he's got a black eye, then? You're a crack-up.
You seriously are a crack-up.
Not everything has to be a Greek tragedy.
DAVE: Jules was right.
Get it all out on the field.
It'd be my turn to help Rachel soon enough.
Are you playing it defensive today'? Yeah, I'm not taking anything for chance.
Not against Warney.
Thanks, John.
Ooh, crumbs.
What did you do to your eye? That looks awful.
CARBOI What did I tell ya? What? About your dad getting toey.
Look right there.
Don't be stupid.
That's Chrissy.
It's Mum's best friend.
She always comes to cricket matches.
Yep.
That's who my Uncle Dimitri ended up with.
My Aunty Narelle's best friend.
Shut up.
I'm telling you, it happens.
I bet you any money.
Any money you like.
(MEN CHEER) Mate's rates? No! I'm not looking for mate's rates.
It's just a few jobs.
If you could have a look at them.
Are you giving me my first freelance gig? Well, yes, I suppose I am.
WARNEY: G'day, Dave.
How's unemployment land? Yeah, I've been looking for a few jobs for you online.
But it's not looking good for old farts, so Don't worry, darlin'.
You're really not that old.
No way.
Dad.
Look who I recruited to your cheer squad.
Hey, Carbo.
I haven't seen you for a while.
Mr Rafter.
Where's Mum? Hi.
Oh.
Hi.
No-one here? Good.
I don't think I could stand the scrutiny.
Did you manage to get some sleep? No.
Are you hungry? No.
Come and sit with me.
Mmm, sounds ominous.
Listen, sweetheart, I'm not going to sugar-coat this.
OK.
Your dad and I are here for you.
You know that, don't you? And you're getting all serious because? Does Daniel take drugs? Specifically, does he take crystal meth? Is that why he hit you? What makes you think that'? Your dad went over there.
He promised.
Yeah, he knows he promised.
Yeah, well, he had no right.
So it is true.
Look, Daniel is sick.
He is an addict.
Daniel attacked your father.
He ended up in hospital.
No.
Oh, that's awful.
Where is he? He's alright.
He's at the cricket.
But, look, he's he's worried about you, Rachel.
We both are.
If Daniel's doing that, then we can't help wondering No, Mum.
No.
Look, I'm not judging you, OK'? I just No, Mum! Are you telling me the truth? I'm not doing drugs.
I swear.
I am not doing drugs.
OK.
DAVE: And there we were.
And I was on fire.
Dave.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Stop.
Come in a bit, boys.
What's taking him so long'? Typical Warney tactic.
He's trying to psych Dad out.
Don't worry.
Your father can handle it.
What's your name again? Carbo.
Nick.
Open this for us, Nick? Sure.
MAN: Put some spin on it, Warney.
Carn! Put some spin on it.
Come on, Dad.
Keep it together.
Don't let him get to you.
(POP!) (WHACK!) Arghhh! ALL: Oh! (LAUGHS) That's got to hurt! On, Warney! (CHUCKLES) Sorry, mate.
I'm really sorry.
Ooh! (GRUNTS) DAVE: Suddenly, it was war.
Come on, Dad.
Smack him out of the paddock.
Hit him for six.
DAVE: And that was the plan.
Six off the last ball.
Sweet victory within reach.
MEN: Oh! Warney! (MEN LAUGH) MAN: Come on, Warney! (ALL CHEER) But Wamey had sent down that googly (MEN CHEER) "and we were gone.
Nice work.
Off you go.
Whoo-hoo! See ya! VVarney's a jerk, Dad.
Good bowler, but.
Tell me something I don't know.
Well, I'm out of here.
Where are you going'? You said you had jobs you wanted me to do.
Yeah.
Well, you live around here.
Let's do it now.
OK.
See you, boys.
Any money you like.
(SIGHS) (UNLOCKS DOOR) I know I've said this before but Greg didn't exactly skimp on the divorce settlement.
(CH UCKLES) With my lawyer, he was lucky to escape with the shirt on his back.
But as Dolly Parton once said, âlt costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
" You don't look cheap.
You look great.
(LAUGHS) Thanks.
To be perfectly honest, if he left me that well-off, I wouldn't be working at Barrett's.
Nor would Julie if I had anything to do with it.
If I get my own business up and running, maybe she won't have to.
Well, they're the lights I was telling you about.
Horribly expensive to put in.
Horribly annoying that they keep not working.
That'll be your transformer.
Yeah, well, don't blind me with science.
Are they fixable'? (WOLF-WHISTLES) (SCOFFS) This old thing? What did I tell you? She's putting on sunscreen.
So what? She's turning ME on.
What? (PHONE RINGS) (PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) I'll get it.
Hello? Greg.
Yes.
Oh.
No.
Yeah, well, it is a surprise.
But congratulations.
It's really No.
No.
No, really.
Thanksthanks thanks for letting me know.
OK.
Yeah, you too.
'Bye.
Everything alright? Sally's pregnant.
(SNIFFLES) He wanted to tell me himself.
Ah! (PANICKED BREATHING) Every time, he gets me! Every single bloody time! HEY, hey, hey, hey.
It's alright.
It's alright.
It's OK.
(SOBS) Shh.
The bet's off.
It doesn't feel right.
I don't believe it.
What are you going to do now'? Wait.
Ah, thanks.
Oh, Dad, you don't have to hole up in your room all day.
Come and sit with me.
(DOOR OPENS) (DOOR CLOSES) SAMMY: Hi! Ooh.
Hello.
You're home early.
Yeah.
Um, I just got a taxi.
Just from the supermarket.
I thought I might cook dinner tonight.
Whoa! Now, there's a sentence I don't hear very often.
You know, there's a bus from the supermarket.
Is there? Mmm.
I wasn't sure.
Sam, have you ever caught public transport ever in your life? Yeah.
I just got a train before.
Oh.
And how was the experience? OK.
I caught a taxi.
Oh! What? From the city? I know! You can't tell Nathan.
He told me how expensive they were.
I had no idea.
It'll never happen again.
I promise.
(SIGHS) Now, on that note, how are you, Ted? I might have my tea in my room.
Dad.
At my own pace, Julie.
There'll be other blokes.
Yeah.
With male pattern baldness and an early midlife crisis.
I'm telling you, if this is what blokes do to you, I'm changing teams.
Chrissy goes gay? I don't think so.
(LAUGHS) Well, I like cars and cricket.
Might as well go the whole hog.
Well, life bowls you a googly every now and then.
You've just got to brush yourself down and get on with it.
You're not still obsessing about Warney, surely.
No, no, no.
I just A win would have been good, you know'? A vote of confidence in the future.
I'll drink to that.
DAVE: Cheers, love.
I'll talk to you on Monday.
CHRISSY: I knew I could count on you.
Reckon I got a future in the trade? You can fix my halogens any time.
We'll see you again.
Hey, listen, I'm happy to recommend.
I've got lots of single girlfriends who are just as hopeless with fuses.
See ya.
Thanks.
See ya.
See ya.
Mate, what are you doing? Mate.
Ben, get back here! I don't believe you! Excuse me? Is this all because you got retrenched? What are you talking about? She's Mum's best friend.
Don't you reckon at least you could've been a bit less obvious? Like, someone Mum doesn't know'? I mean, Chrissy - it's just off.
And why would you want to go there anyway when you've got the most gorgeous woman in the world Hang on a second, Ben.
I was fixing her halogens.
I don't care what you call it.
I saw you.
Saw me what? Hugging.
When? Just now.
What? Just after her ex-husband called and she got upset'? (SCOFFS) And the bathers.
And the putting on the sunscreen What, Ben? The sun's shining.
People get sunburnt.
So, what about your black eye? Look, I might be unemployed.
I might not have anything on the horizon.
I might have just had the crap beaten out of me by your sister's boyfriend.
But let me tell you Daniel.
There is only one woman Correction.
Two women in this world that have ever seen my privates.
And Chrissy's not one of them.
But you did get one thing right.
Yeah? Your mother is gorgeous.
(ENGINE STARTS) (SIGHS) I'm never listening to you again.
Well, what happened? Not a word, mate.
Not one word.
JULIE: Oh, hey.
How'd you go? What's with all the closed doors? Sorry'? Why do I get the feeling there's things going on that I don't know'? Nothing's going on.
I resigned my job, Jules, not my position as a member of this family.
I mean, what is wrong with this picture? My own son thinks that my self-esteem is so low that I'd jump into an affair to bolster my ego.
What? You think that I've mishandled things that badly you won't even let me talk to my own daughter.
I mean, is that what my family think about me - I lose my job and I fall apart'? And what's the story with Ted locked away in his room like he doesn't want to know anyone? Shh! Dave, no! Closed doors - I don't like them.
OK.
Dad Dad is here because he's too embarrassed to go home.
Embarrassed? Why? When the ambulance came to take him to hospital, the neighbours saw him.
And? I don't need this, Jules.
I don't need protecting.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) DAVE: In life, as in cricket Yeah.
the best way to play that unexpected ball is straight G'day.
Can I have a word with you about something? defensive, protective.
Sure.
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but, um I know, mate.
And it's alright.
Did Julie'? I don't like secrets, Ted.
Not in my own house.
But if it helps, um if I think of me and Julie I don't know what I'd do without her.
And if I lost her âanything I could do âanything I could do that might bring her back, even a sense of her, whatever it was - wearing her clothes I'd do it too.
You're welcome here as long as you need, alright? I might see you at dinner, hey? Leave it open, mate.
(LISA MITCHELL SINGS 'SLOW') (KNOCK AT DOOR) Hey.
Hey.
Look at the two of us.
Dad, you promised.
Mmm.
And look what happened.
But you know why I had to do it, don't you? Because I'm your father.
And I'm here to protect you.
It's what nature's wired me for.
So you can call it primitive if you like.
But until they put me in a home and, well, probably not even then I'll be looking out for you.
Because you'll always be my little girl.
And I love you.
(SNIFFLES) We're here for you whatever happens, OK'? OK.
And, now, you told your mum you don't do drugs.
Yeah, Dad, I And we believe you.
But if you ever need to talk about anything I'm here.
Do you hear what I'm saying? (SNIFFLES) (MUSIC CONTINUES) Dad.
Thanks.
(CLOSES DOOR) When you say 'go' J"Oh Ilsay Slow Ilsay Slow Ilsay Slow Ilsay Slow.
DAVE: Sometimes playing it straight sets clear ground rules for the match ahead.
Dad, what's Mum's car doing in the garage? Keeping dry.
Rust issues.
I thought we talked about this.
No, you talked.
I decided no.
But No, Nathan.
Sometimes playing it straight says, âDon't mess with my team.
â A bit early, isn't it? How'd you get in here? Don't worry.
I won't take long.
I just wanted to say a couple of things.
Firstly, don't be here tomorrow morning.
I'll come by with Rachel to pick up her things.
Secondly get some help, mate - you need it.
And finally, I'm not afraid of you, Daniel.
You touch my daughter again and I'll come back.
And you won't take me by surprise next time.
Get some help.
(DOOR CLOSES) (TV PLAYS SOFTLY) My dad reckons only two women have ever seen his todger.
Two.
Yeah? That's two up on you, then.
I'd kill to know who the other one was.
If he's not saying I don't rate your chances.
It's frustrating, huh? Nope.
It's none of your business.
DAVE: In my book, the best cricket match of all has only two rules.
First - the whole family plays.
Come on, darling.
You can do it.
And second - there are no rules.
Oh, please! What! Just bowl! Come on.
Tensing, tensing.
Oh! Oh, come on! Just bowl it! This time - good stuff.
Lunch.
Soon! Yes.
I'm hungry! TED: Just bowl! Bowl! JULIE: Here we go.
This one.
(ALL CHEER) I got it! I got it! Oh! (GROWLS PLAYFU LLY) (ALL CALL OUT AND LAUGH) RACHEL: No! Ben!