Pan Am s01e02 Episode Script
We'll Always Have Paris
Previously on "Pan Am" Do you not wanna get married? You need to decide, because this is your life.
(Laura) I wanna see the world.
I'll become a Pan Am stewardess.
(Pealing) (Maggie) "Upon boarding, passengers are greeted "by the international beauty and Grace known as the Pan Am stewardess.
" (Buddy Greco) around the world - Are you wearing your girdle? - Yes, ma'am.
(Slap) Oh.
(Woman over P.
A.
) Pan Am flight 292 is now boarding.
A rendezvous I didn't know you'd be on this flight.
What a coincidence.
I didn't know you were married.
Should we spike his food or his drink? Both.
I work for the U.
S.
government Intelligence.
You fit the profile perfectly Beautiful, well educated.
The Pan Am stewardess can travel all around the world without suspicion.
And I have the perfect cover.
- Marry me! - I can't say "yes" now.
Bridget.
Around the world Bridget arranged that meeting in Rome.
She had an eye for talent.
"Had"? Am I her replacement? (Steve Lawrence's "On a clear day" playing) On a clear day rise and look around you and you'll see (Roaring) On a clear day how it will astound you that the glow of your being (Brakes squeal) Outshines every star you'll feel part Hello, miss.
Of every Mountain, sea, and shore Couldn't help but notice your predicament.
Unfortunate, no? Are you going my way? Ah, it depends.
Where you going? Me? Paris.
You've gotta be kidding me.
(Chuckles) I'm going to Paris.
You don't say.
Sometimes the stars align.
Say, I could give you a lift Oh.
But I'll have to warn ya.
You'll have to cook my dinner, bring me coffee, make occasional small talk.
Some steep demands.
It's a long walk to Paris.
Fine.
On one small condition.
- I swear, just another minute.
- Laura! I couldn't find my blue shawl.
Did you pick it up from home? I don't know.
I couldn't see through all the smoke.
Smoke? Yes, mother was breathing fire.
(Laughs) Right.
What, are you moving to Paris? Well, I wanted to have plenty of room to bring things home.
And you couldn't find your steamer trunk? Oh, I almost forgot.
I have something for you.
Can't it wait? No, it'll only take a second.
Here.
What is it? Remember this? We did it.
We're really going, together.
How did you get this out of your room? Did you call daddy? And risk mother finding out? No way.
I had Maria send it.
Wow.
It's a sad day when your maid's more accepting than your mother.
But it's not a sad day.
It's the best day in a long time The day you and I finally make it to Paris! (Jet roaring) You have to stay on the right side of the road.
I'm French, not English.
I'm fairly confident this is a bad idea.
Oh, come on.
What are you afraid of? (Chuckles) Where do I start? (Jangles) No, before we do this, do you have any questions? Only one.
How fast does it go? That's the wrong question.
We had a deal! (Jangles) Thank you.
(Key turns in ignition, engine starts) (Exhales deeply) You have your license on you, right? (Revs engine) What license? (Pealing) (Laura) Did you know there are 2,000 windows in the palace at Versailles? (Maggie) Maybe you shouldn't read and walk at the same time.
Ooh, pardon.
And over 2,000 acres of formal garden.
No kidding.
(Kate) Laura, there you are.
In body.
Her mind is elsewhere.
I'm cramming for Paris.
Go ahead.
Quiz me.
Uh, height of the Eiffel Tower.
Built by Gustave Eiffel.
Well, that oughta come in handy.
(Laughs) Colette! Thank you again.
I'd like to say "anytime," but no.
- Bye.
- I'll see you soon.
I salute you, captain.
Oh, not now, Sanjeev.
Very impressed.
Sanjeev? Back on the horse.
No, I'm not back on the horse.
(Whispers) Understood.
Mmm, the pain au chocolat at fauchon patisserie near Madeleine.
Definitely amazing, but not the best.
What's the best? A la mere de famille, en montmartre.
Les orangettes enrobees de chocolat.
I wanna try everything.
You'd be advised to limit yourself to one, miss Cameron.
You've gained another pound.
Do we need to revisit your personal weight limit? Oh.
No, miss Havemeyer.
(Woman over P.
A.
) Attention, passengers (Man) Miss Cameron, you have a call.
Redheaded Cameron.
Pay phone.
Your father.
Daddy? Okay.
I'll see you on board.
You're next, miss Ryan.
Oh, please.
After you.
Pardon me? Well, I think we'd all like to know what you're weighing in at these days.
I assume that if there's an ideal weight for serving drinks, then surely there's an ideal weight for looking down one's nose.
- Maggie, it's okay.
- No, go on, please.
I'll be gentle.
Don't believe a word she says, Mrs.
Havemeyer.
Maggie promised to be gentle with me, and I assure you, it's a bald-faced lie.
I'm sorry you had to witness miss Ryan's insubordination, Mr.
Vanderway.
And I'm sorry that I have to steal this insubordinate stewardesses away.
They're late.
Or I can let operations know that there was a delay.
No delay.
Miss Ryan and I can continue our conversation with her supervisor upon her return.
(Indistinct conversations) (Woman) Oh, thank you so much.
Daddy? Not exactly.
Richard.
I'm glad you're here.
I need answers about Bridget.
Your predecessor isn't your concern.
A stewardess can't just disappear.
Quitting is one thing.
Vanishing is another.
All of Pan Am is buzzing.
Pan Am is buzzing, or you're wondering? - Both.
- Take this.
Keep it in your purse.
Do not open it.
This isn't another test, is it? Your contact will find you in Paris and identify himself using the hour-of-the-day exchange.
You remember it? Hour-of-the-day exchange.
Yes.
Uh, they ask for the time, I give it in hours.
They repeat it back wrong, I correct them.
They thank me, and I give them the package.
What time is it? Ah, that's 7:00, right? You're supposed to correct me.
I'm sorry.
Uh, 1800 hours is 6:00, sir.
Give me the box back.
No.
I mean, I can handle this.
If you can't remember your basic training I can handle this.
I just need to go now.
I'm late.
(Lowered voice) Au revoir.
(Man) Thank you.
(Indistinct conversations) - Where have you been? - Where's the manifest? (Man) There you are.
No, no, no.
(Breathing heavily) Oh, God.
(Sets down clipboard) Kate, what is it? (Whispers) It's mother.
Mother? Is something wrong? Yes.
She's on the plane.
(roaring) You're not the least bit curious? No.
Not a tiny bit curious? She disappeared.
(Sighs) Nope.
'Cause if a guy's not on a new horse, chances are he's still thinking about the old one.
(Door opens) (Door closes) And you, Sanjeev, know how to beat a dead horse.
He's still on Bridget? I'm just saying, I'd be curious.
- I'm not.
- Good man.
In case you do get curious, let me tell you something.
When it comes to women Listen up, folks.
Sanjeev's sharing pearls.
Yeah, I'm taking notes.
(Imitates snoring) There's always a friend who knows.
Always.
So if a dame left you without word No "it was fun," no "we'll always have Paris," you'd go searching for her? I didn't say that.
Hell, no.
There you go.
That is, unless She was the love of my life.
(Knock on door) What kind of name is "Metropolitans," anyway, for a brand-new ball club? Stengel didn't do too bad for your boys in the Bronx.
Until he went senile.
(Chuckles) - Dinner already? - Well, a deal is a deal.
(Chuckles) And who benches Whitey Ford until game Three? What deal? Now what do we have here? Oh, evening flights have their advantages.
I think I'm looking at one.
Oh! Prosciutto, pate, escargot? You've already got my attention.
Serve me an aphrodisiac, I might just fall in love.
It has been known to happen.
Careful.
I'm a glutton.
Oh, I noticed.
(Bell dings) I have no idea.
She hasn't spoken to me since I left.
Then what is she doing here? Are you two still hiding? Daddy didn't tell you? Daddy? He just called you on the pay phone.
Oh, uh, yes, he needed me to buy him some French cheese.
(Clears throat) Cheese? Mom's on her way to kill me, and he wants cheese? You know, as Pan Am employees, you can have your parents fly for free.
We are not telling her that.
No.
(Maggie) She's that bad? She should have saved the fare and flown her broomstick.
Well, one of you is gonna have to face her.
Colette's by herself in economy.
Two out of three.
No.
Kate, please.
I can't do it.
What else is new? (Man) you're on my mind oh, how I cry you're gone forever wished I could die (Man) Order up here.
Why did you leave me? Did daddy yell? No.
He calmly threatened to call the state troopers and report his car stolen if we didn't turn around and come home.
- And mother? - Indisposed, apparently.
(Sighs) Oh, God.
What have I done? You were honest with yourself, and you stood up and claimed a stake in your own life.
I didn't stand up.
I ran away from my own wedding.
Can you imagine a look on Greg's face? Would you rather be at a reception right now, feeling trapped and forcing a smile? All right, then.
Let's order some pie.
They're gonna disown me.
Okay, let's get something straight right now.
I am the black sheep of the family.
Today is hard to beat.
You forget that I drove the getaway car.
I robbed the bank.
And I told mother that I hypnotized you.
See? You know, she might actually believe that.
(Laughs) Yes.
(Laughs) You had to think about it, didn't you? No.
Mm-hmm.
No.
(Exhales deeply) Well, at least you didn't walk away empty-handed.
What do you think it is? A toaster, I hope.
Well, we can't keep it.
- Why not? - Mother.
I think that ship has sailed No.
Mother she's here.
(Lowered voice) Quick! Hide! Oh.
Oh, God.
What are you doing? Hide! Laura, she's already seen the car.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Stay here.
(Door bells jingle) (Both shouting indistinctly) Get her in my car! No, mother! (Shouting indistinctly) Kate, I was starting to get worried I was on the wrong plane.
Hello, mother.
(Sighs) What's bringing you to Paris? I thought you said her name was Laura.
This is my other daughter, Catherine.
You have two daughters who are Pan Am stewardesses? I suppose I'm blessed.
Oh, yes.
I see the resemblance to her sister.
- Laura's been back here? - No, dear.
The "Life" magazine.
You brought your own copy.
(Whispers) What does she want? (Whispers) She didn't say.
It's not a coincidence.
(Normal voice) Are you insane? She needs new reading material.
The Life" magazine she's been waving around is over a month old.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
(Magazines thud) And she's all yours.
(Indistinct conversations) Hello, Mr.
Elkins.
You've learned my name.
It's my job to know the names of everyone in first class.
Really? Do you know that my favorite color is blue? I believe the lavatory's open.
I'm not here for the lavatory.
Then can I help you with something? I might need a cigarette later.
Of course.
I'll bring one to your seat.
I like the way that uniform leaves just enough to the imagination.
I imagine you'd be much more comfortable in your seat.
Not interested in comfort.
(Grunting) Aah! I am not included in the price of your ticket.
(Roaring) There you are, and with my favorite drink, I see.
Sorry it took me so long to get back here.
I was up to my ears in roast beef.
It's all right.
You're here now.
Only for a moment, actually.
I there are things I'm supposed to have a seat.
Okay.
Um I yeah, I suppose things can wait.
(Clears throat) If you're gonna tell me what a terrible daughter I am, I wish you'd just go ahead and do it.
What? I know how angry you and daddy are, and I'm sure you're mortified by what Mrs.
Metcalf and those other D.
A.
R.
gossips must be saying, but I just I miss you.
But then why haven't you called? I I sent you a letter, and you never called, not once.
I suppose I was hoping you'd come home, that you would need me, but (Ice cubes rattling) I was clearly wrong.
(Whispers) I do need you.
(Normal voice) I need you so much.
Well that makes me very happy.
And as for Mrs.
Metcalf and the D.
A.
R.
ladies This handled things quite nicely.
(Lowered voice) I'm the new belle of the ball.
(Whispers) Really? How much had he had to drink? Does that matter? (Ice cubes rattle) We need to report him.
Well, I can't exactly do that.
Why not? I sort of stabbed him with a serving fork.
You stabbed him? You did what? Shh! Maggie was accosted by a passenger.
And you stabbed him? It was more of a poke than a stab.
(Banging on door) Is that him? What is he doing? (Sighs) Having second thoughts about molesting stewardesses? (Elkins) - I need a band-aid.
- Hold on, sir.
(Lowered voice) We have to take care of him, or he'll report you.
Yeah, and after inviting miss Havemeyer onto the scale Okay, I'll get the first aid kit.
The first aid kit? What for? Someone's bruised ego.
Can I help you? Um, since the plane isn't full, I was wondering if I could move my mother to first class.
- Sure.
- Absolutely not.
I'm gonna let you two sort this one out.
First class? You're the one who sent me back there.
Yeah, scared to death.
Now you're upgrading her? Can we get you anything else, sir? A tourniquet, maybe? Am I missing something? Besides the fact that mother is a master manipulator? Kate.
Evening, girls.
(Women) Captain.
Air sick.
Could be a while.
I think the, uh, economy lavatory is free.
(Sighs) That's okay.
I'll wait.
Okay.
Excuse me.
(Curtain rings swoosh) Everything okay back here? Absolutely.
Right as rain.
Surprised you haven't asked to take the helm yet.
Oh, the night is young.
I hear you've had a rough evening.
(Curtain rings swoosh) Not very friendly, is he? No.
Do you have big plans for Paris? Little ones.
Wander the streets, take in the sights, the smell.
The smell? Yeah.
Smells like home.
What about you? Big plans? I was thinking of looking up a friend I met at a club once.
I don't remember it having a smell.
Oh, no, with clubs, it's more about the sound.
(Woman singing in French) (Laughter, indistinct conversations) (Song ends) You've been practicing at home.
With my pillow, but she's all left feet.
(Indistinct conversations in French) Bridget! Ca va? Gaspar! Quel plaisir de vous voir.
(Speaks French) Ah, Dean, this is Gaspar, an old friend.
Gaspar, c'est mon petit ami, Dean.
- Ah.
- It's nice to meet you.
Tout le plaisir est pour Moi.
(Speaks French) Merci.
Shame he had to kiss and run.
He's bringing us champagne, darling.
Mm, friends in high places.
(Laughs) C'est un tres bon ami.
I'm sorry.
You're English, yes? Is my French accent that terrible? On the contrary.
You're just that beautiful.
Hey, slow down there, buddy.
With all due respect, of course.
Of course.
Would you happen to have the time? I'm afraid my French is bloody awful.
It's 2230.
Half past 11:00? Of course.
Never was good at military time.
Enjoy your evening.
You're a lucky man.
You know, I haven't heard that since my boxing days.
(Chuckles) What? - Boxing? - Well (Imitates British accent) 2230.
(Normal voice) What are you, a general? No.
Right now I'm a girl in need of the powder room, and I shall leave you in the capable hands of monsieur Gaspar.
Bridget, you can't, because I can't speak French.
Monsieur, je vous sers? Ou bien preferez attendre? Uh, yeah, it looks great.
Thank you.
Merci.
(Woman singing in French) That's good.
Thanks.
(Speaking inaudibly) Monsieur, vous-n'etes pas satisfait de ce choix - Excuse me.
- Monsieur! Hey! Excuse me.
- Monsieur! - Hey! - Monsieur! - You okay? - What the hell did he say to you? - Nothing.
N-nothing happened.
Wait here.
I'll be right back.
Dean! No! He was only being a boor! Dean! (Baby fussing) (Woman) She'll be screaming in about five minutes.
Can you heat this up for me? Miss? Oh, absolutely.
Consider yourself lucky.
She actually bit me once.
- Did she draw blood? - Only a couple of pints.
So how do I report her? Is there a form I fill out? A telephone number? I'll take care of it.
Throw her over my knee if I have to.
I'm serious.
I didn't pay $350 to fly to Paris and get stabbed by the help.
- You didn't pay for - She'll be disciplined.
I guarantee you.
What are you drinking? Scotch.
Maggie, what do you say we fetch Mr.
Elkins here a single malt before landing? Make it a double.
She'll bring it to your seat With bells on.
(Sighs) Call me your guardian angel.
Or superhero.
Your choice.
Shouldn't you be preparing for landing? Maggie, that man was gonna have you fired.
I made him go away for the cost of a drink.
(Sets bottle down) It cost a lot more than that.
You never have to see him again.
(Dish clatters) Yeah, but I have to see you.
I like you.
You speak your mind, and you're a scrapper, but frankly, you keep this up, you're not gonna be around much longer.
You have to be smart.
He's in 3D.
(Dean over P.
A.
) Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Sunrise is in 15 minutes, and we'll be landing shortly after.
Hope you all had a pleasant flight Mother's made reservations at 7:00 in Montmartre.
Time to feed the prodigal daughter her fatted calf.
For all three of us.
Oh, no.
For all two of you.
Kate, I think she's lonely.
She'll talk to you.
From wayward daughter to ambassador in one transcontinental.
I'm impressed.
She bought a ticket.
She came all this way.
That's a big gesture.
Sure is.
She's never gotten on a plane for me.
I'm sure she's wanted to.
No, I'm sure she hasn't.
Did she tell you that? (Sighs) If you only had ringside seats.
Did she ask you to clean out her closet, or did you volunteer? Was bridge club canceled, or were you lying in wait? This is serious, Kate.
What Laura did is selfish and irresponsible.
What Laura did took real courage.
I admire her for it.
Running out on a houseful of guests? Poor Greg is devastated.
I wouldn't blame him if he were through with her for good.
(Sighs) I didn't say she had good timing.
She seemed perfectly content until you arrived.
Clearly, you weren't looking closely enough.
Cold feet are nothing new.
Reconsidering marriage doesn't mean she has to move to Manhattan.
Mother, Laura's reconsidering her whole life.
Don't you understand that? And you're advising her? Absolutely.
Ohh.
You'll be off flying around the world.
What is Laura gonna do in the city alone? (Sighs) Laura plans on flying around the world, too.
She's gonna tag along with you? Mother, Laura's applying to Pan Am.
(Horn honks) No, no, you're not taking her.
Taking her? No one is taking her, mother.
If the life we've given you isn't enough, fine, but don't infect Laura with your with my what? - Dissatisfaction.
- Dissatisfaction? I rode an elephant in Bangkok last week.
(Scoffs) I watched the sun set over Patagonia the week before that.
Which is not nearly as interesting as you think it is.
How would you know? You don't even have a passport.
(Trunk closes) If you wanna trot around God-knows-where, throw your education away to serve coffee to strange men and that sort of thing, I can't stop you! What is "that sort of thing"? But Laura is different.
You mean special.
She's impressionable.
She wants out of this driveway.
She wants a taste of something bigger.
She needs me.
Laura will be fine.
How do you know that? Because I needed you, too! (Engine starts) And I'm fine.
(Indistinct conversations in French) (Traffic sounds) (Knock on door) (Moans) (Knocking continues) Ugh! All right! All right.
You're still sleeping? I could be.
It's 5:00 P.
M.
You flew all night, slept all day.
Paris awaits.
Is Colette here? She's still sleeping.
(Colette) No, no.
No, I'm awake now.
You sure? Yeah, you're right.
Paris awaits.
About that I, uh, did a little wandering.
Had some trouble finding that nightclub I mentioned.
Mm, do you know the name? It's Palace or Chez Palace, maybe.
Everybody keeps directing me to Versailles.
Oh.
Placette.
It's famous.
Placette.
And that explains it.
In St.
Germain.
Great.
Thanks.
(Chuckles) Was there something else? Truth is, um I could use a favor.
The concierge said Cafe Canard should be right down there.
Oh, and we need to remember to get some French cheese.
Cheese? For daddy.
Kate said he wanted cheese? I doubt that, dear.
Mother? You can't give up on her.
Oh, I don't intend to.
Trust me.
Good.
You know, because the three of us can fly anywhere you like.
We can We can explore the whole world together.
(Laughs) The whole world is an awfully big place.
Do you think there's room for one more? Yes, we're allowed to get tickets for daddy, too.
I wasn't talking about your father.
You brought Greg? Now, Laura, he's a good man, and he loves you.
And you loved him enough to want to marry him.
So all that stuff you said on the plane Kate was right about you.
I meant what I said, but Greg deserves an opportunity to Laura! Laura? (Sighs) Laura? What did she do? (Sniffles) Oh.
As you remembered? (Woman singing in French) Well, it's not quite as busy.
It's early.
I came here first when I was 19 with a boy who was an artist.
He fed me drinks until I agreed to let him paint me.
How'd that come out? Mm, depends on your taste.
He was a surrealist.
I had four noses.
(Chuckles) Yeah, but think of all - the smelling you could do.
- Oh.
(Chuckles) (Clears throat) My favor Uh, it wasn't getting me here.
Bridget introduced me to this place, and I think the maitre d' is a good friend of hers.
And you came to ask him if he knows where she is.
Yeah, but the only problem is that You don't speak French.
Yeah.
Let's see what he has to say.
Garcon? Mademoiselle, bonsoir.
Bonsoir.
(Speaks French) Vous connaissez Bridget Pierce? Bridget? Oui, oui.
(Speaking French) (Speaks French) No.
Mais vous devez bien vous souvenir de lui? Non, je vous l'ai deja dit.
J'en suis desole.
- So what what is he saying? - He doesn't remember you.
- But he remembers Bridget, right? - Yeah, they're old friends.
Okay, so does he know where she is? Do Et Bridget? Pouvez-vous me dire ou Elle est? Le capitaine l'a demandee en mariage.
(Laughs) Why is he laughing? Pas etonnant qu'elle ait disparu.
Pourquoi vous dites ca? (Sighs) Bridget aime bien ses petits copains, mais son mari Elle l'adore.
What what is it? What'd he say? Colette? He said she may like her boyfriends, but she loves her husband.
(Elevator bell dings) You had to do it, didn't you? Kate, Laura running from her problems doesn't solve them.
Oh, you were so close.
You were so close to getting your daughter back.
Which one? The one you want.
I want both of you.
No Pardon me.
Might you have the time? It's 2100 Hours.
(Lowered voice) It's good to see you.
(Lowered voice) Bridget, where have you been? Nowhere.
I'm a ghost at the moment.
Why didn't they tell me I was meeting you? Do you have the package? A gift.
How ironic, considering what I've had to give up for it.
Dean.
How is he? It isn't the first time I've heard of a secret marriage.
For girls who want to keep working, it's the only way.
(Exhales deeply) Dean I saw the way she would look at you.
Okay.
Let's get you home.
What's inside? My future.
Couple of months ago, I was meant to take a picture of a man at a local airport, but I missed him.
So I tracked him down on my own, and I got the shot.
Dean was with me when I dropped off the film It's nice to meet you.
To the C.
I.
A.
liaison at a Parisian nightclub.
Champagne? All routine until a mi-6 agent appeared and told me that I'd been compromised whilst taking the picture.
At first they deactivated me, and I resumed my normal life.
But eventually, it was decided That for my own safety, I should become Elizabeth Reese of Kansas City, Missouri.
Good God.
I mean, where on Earth is Missouri? Bridget, I'm so sorry.
They wanted you to deliver this so that you would see what happens if you don't follow orders to the letter.
But I have another unauthorized message.
You volunteered for this.
They will let you out.
The thrill of it The good that you hope you are doing is not worth losing everything, Kate.
But I don't want out.
Does that mean I'm crazy? No.
It means I was right to recommend you.
(Knock on door) You'd think I would have practiced what to say next.
Where are the flowers? Oh, I gave them to an old lady in the lobby.
They were a bad idea.
They were nice.
The old lady was very excited.
Hugs, messy kisses.
Exactly what I was hoping for, really.
Just not from her.
Greg.
I am so sorry.
I really meant to marry you.
I did.
But then suddenly, I put on that wedding dress, and I thought, "here I go.
" My last great adventure.
And then I realized I was only 22, and I'd hardly had any great adventures.
You don't think starting a family is an adventure? Well, sure it is.
It's just not Paris.
You still finish my sentences.
You are still the prettiest girl I have ever laid eyes on.
You need to let me go.
When I was 15, I read a story in "Boys' Life" about climbing Kilimanjaro.
And it seemed about as far away as the moon, but I mowed lawns all summer so that I could make the trek.
Saved almost $300.
Wasn't enough by a long shot, but I put it in the bank, and I swore that someday that money would go towards adventure.
And what did you spend it on? A ring.
Th-that's not the point.
The point is, if what you're leaving me for is Kilimanjaro? Then bon voyage, Laura.
Safe journey.
(Ted) Well, I don't understand a word you're staying.
Hey! Hey! There she is! The tenderizer.
Come on! That was funny.
(Key turns in lock) Hey, I-if you lost your key, you're welcome to stay with us.
Oh, I almost forgot.
I got you a little present.
(Laughing) You know, I actually learned something today.
Don't piss off Maggie Ryan.
I know what my job is.
For the price of their ticket, businessmen get to flirt with pretty women.
And I can handle flirts.
I can handle the personal grooming checks, the weigh-ins, the boozy jerk that crosses the line.
But what I can't handle is that you made it okay for him to try that again with another girl.
M-Maggie (Sighs) (Exhales deeply) (Sighs) What do you want? One stamp.
It's impressive.
Look at the date it was issued.
The summer I became stewardess? I tried.
I need you, too.
(Sighs) (Humming) We were supposed to take a right at Rue chat qui danse.
You're laughing at me.
The French girl who got lost in France? No.
You're the one who wanted to wander.
Besides, I wasn't lost.
No, I was bewildered by the moment.
Shall we? How do you say "lost" in French? Perdu.
Perdu.
I am Perdu.
No.
No.
Nous sommes perdus.
We are lost.
(Chuckles) What are you doing? (Woman singing in French) Nous sommes Dancing.
(Laughs) (Laughs) You smell like whiskey and cigarettes.
And you smell like Paris.
(Laura) I wanna see the world.
I'll become a Pan Am stewardess.
(Pealing) (Maggie) "Upon boarding, passengers are greeted "by the international beauty and Grace known as the Pan Am stewardess.
" (Buddy Greco) around the world - Are you wearing your girdle? - Yes, ma'am.
(Slap) Oh.
(Woman over P.
A.
) Pan Am flight 292 is now boarding.
A rendezvous I didn't know you'd be on this flight.
What a coincidence.
I didn't know you were married.
Should we spike his food or his drink? Both.
I work for the U.
S.
government Intelligence.
You fit the profile perfectly Beautiful, well educated.
The Pan Am stewardess can travel all around the world without suspicion.
And I have the perfect cover.
- Marry me! - I can't say "yes" now.
Bridget.
Around the world Bridget arranged that meeting in Rome.
She had an eye for talent.
"Had"? Am I her replacement? (Steve Lawrence's "On a clear day" playing) On a clear day rise and look around you and you'll see (Roaring) On a clear day how it will astound you that the glow of your being (Brakes squeal) Outshines every star you'll feel part Hello, miss.
Of every Mountain, sea, and shore Couldn't help but notice your predicament.
Unfortunate, no? Are you going my way? Ah, it depends.
Where you going? Me? Paris.
You've gotta be kidding me.
(Chuckles) I'm going to Paris.
You don't say.
Sometimes the stars align.
Say, I could give you a lift Oh.
But I'll have to warn ya.
You'll have to cook my dinner, bring me coffee, make occasional small talk.
Some steep demands.
It's a long walk to Paris.
Fine.
On one small condition.
- I swear, just another minute.
- Laura! I couldn't find my blue shawl.
Did you pick it up from home? I don't know.
I couldn't see through all the smoke.
Smoke? Yes, mother was breathing fire.
(Laughs) Right.
What, are you moving to Paris? Well, I wanted to have plenty of room to bring things home.
And you couldn't find your steamer trunk? Oh, I almost forgot.
I have something for you.
Can't it wait? No, it'll only take a second.
Here.
What is it? Remember this? We did it.
We're really going, together.
How did you get this out of your room? Did you call daddy? And risk mother finding out? No way.
I had Maria send it.
Wow.
It's a sad day when your maid's more accepting than your mother.
But it's not a sad day.
It's the best day in a long time The day you and I finally make it to Paris! (Jet roaring) You have to stay on the right side of the road.
I'm French, not English.
I'm fairly confident this is a bad idea.
Oh, come on.
What are you afraid of? (Chuckles) Where do I start? (Jangles) No, before we do this, do you have any questions? Only one.
How fast does it go? That's the wrong question.
We had a deal! (Jangles) Thank you.
(Key turns in ignition, engine starts) (Exhales deeply) You have your license on you, right? (Revs engine) What license? (Pealing) (Laura) Did you know there are 2,000 windows in the palace at Versailles? (Maggie) Maybe you shouldn't read and walk at the same time.
Ooh, pardon.
And over 2,000 acres of formal garden.
No kidding.
(Kate) Laura, there you are.
In body.
Her mind is elsewhere.
I'm cramming for Paris.
Go ahead.
Quiz me.
Uh, height of the Eiffel Tower.
Built by Gustave Eiffel.
Well, that oughta come in handy.
(Laughs) Colette! Thank you again.
I'd like to say "anytime," but no.
- Bye.
- I'll see you soon.
I salute you, captain.
Oh, not now, Sanjeev.
Very impressed.
Sanjeev? Back on the horse.
No, I'm not back on the horse.
(Whispers) Understood.
Mmm, the pain au chocolat at fauchon patisserie near Madeleine.
Definitely amazing, but not the best.
What's the best? A la mere de famille, en montmartre.
Les orangettes enrobees de chocolat.
I wanna try everything.
You'd be advised to limit yourself to one, miss Cameron.
You've gained another pound.
Do we need to revisit your personal weight limit? Oh.
No, miss Havemeyer.
(Woman over P.
A.
) Attention, passengers (Man) Miss Cameron, you have a call.
Redheaded Cameron.
Pay phone.
Your father.
Daddy? Okay.
I'll see you on board.
You're next, miss Ryan.
Oh, please.
After you.
Pardon me? Well, I think we'd all like to know what you're weighing in at these days.
I assume that if there's an ideal weight for serving drinks, then surely there's an ideal weight for looking down one's nose.
- Maggie, it's okay.
- No, go on, please.
I'll be gentle.
Don't believe a word she says, Mrs.
Havemeyer.
Maggie promised to be gentle with me, and I assure you, it's a bald-faced lie.
I'm sorry you had to witness miss Ryan's insubordination, Mr.
Vanderway.
And I'm sorry that I have to steal this insubordinate stewardesses away.
They're late.
Or I can let operations know that there was a delay.
No delay.
Miss Ryan and I can continue our conversation with her supervisor upon her return.
(Indistinct conversations) (Woman) Oh, thank you so much.
Daddy? Not exactly.
Richard.
I'm glad you're here.
I need answers about Bridget.
Your predecessor isn't your concern.
A stewardess can't just disappear.
Quitting is one thing.
Vanishing is another.
All of Pan Am is buzzing.
Pan Am is buzzing, or you're wondering? - Both.
- Take this.
Keep it in your purse.
Do not open it.
This isn't another test, is it? Your contact will find you in Paris and identify himself using the hour-of-the-day exchange.
You remember it? Hour-of-the-day exchange.
Yes.
Uh, they ask for the time, I give it in hours.
They repeat it back wrong, I correct them.
They thank me, and I give them the package.
What time is it? Ah, that's 7:00, right? You're supposed to correct me.
I'm sorry.
Uh, 1800 hours is 6:00, sir.
Give me the box back.
No.
I mean, I can handle this.
If you can't remember your basic training I can handle this.
I just need to go now.
I'm late.
(Lowered voice) Au revoir.
(Man) Thank you.
(Indistinct conversations) - Where have you been? - Where's the manifest? (Man) There you are.
No, no, no.
(Breathing heavily) Oh, God.
(Sets down clipboard) Kate, what is it? (Whispers) It's mother.
Mother? Is something wrong? Yes.
She's on the plane.
(roaring) You're not the least bit curious? No.
Not a tiny bit curious? She disappeared.
(Sighs) Nope.
'Cause if a guy's not on a new horse, chances are he's still thinking about the old one.
(Door opens) (Door closes) And you, Sanjeev, know how to beat a dead horse.
He's still on Bridget? I'm just saying, I'd be curious.
- I'm not.
- Good man.
In case you do get curious, let me tell you something.
When it comes to women Listen up, folks.
Sanjeev's sharing pearls.
Yeah, I'm taking notes.
(Imitates snoring) There's always a friend who knows.
Always.
So if a dame left you without word No "it was fun," no "we'll always have Paris," you'd go searching for her? I didn't say that.
Hell, no.
There you go.
That is, unless She was the love of my life.
(Knock on door) What kind of name is "Metropolitans," anyway, for a brand-new ball club? Stengel didn't do too bad for your boys in the Bronx.
Until he went senile.
(Chuckles) - Dinner already? - Well, a deal is a deal.
(Chuckles) And who benches Whitey Ford until game Three? What deal? Now what do we have here? Oh, evening flights have their advantages.
I think I'm looking at one.
Oh! Prosciutto, pate, escargot? You've already got my attention.
Serve me an aphrodisiac, I might just fall in love.
It has been known to happen.
Careful.
I'm a glutton.
Oh, I noticed.
(Bell dings) I have no idea.
She hasn't spoken to me since I left.
Then what is she doing here? Are you two still hiding? Daddy didn't tell you? Daddy? He just called you on the pay phone.
Oh, uh, yes, he needed me to buy him some French cheese.
(Clears throat) Cheese? Mom's on her way to kill me, and he wants cheese? You know, as Pan Am employees, you can have your parents fly for free.
We are not telling her that.
No.
(Maggie) She's that bad? She should have saved the fare and flown her broomstick.
Well, one of you is gonna have to face her.
Colette's by herself in economy.
Two out of three.
No.
Kate, please.
I can't do it.
What else is new? (Man) you're on my mind oh, how I cry you're gone forever wished I could die (Man) Order up here.
Why did you leave me? Did daddy yell? No.
He calmly threatened to call the state troopers and report his car stolen if we didn't turn around and come home.
- And mother? - Indisposed, apparently.
(Sighs) Oh, God.
What have I done? You were honest with yourself, and you stood up and claimed a stake in your own life.
I didn't stand up.
I ran away from my own wedding.
Can you imagine a look on Greg's face? Would you rather be at a reception right now, feeling trapped and forcing a smile? All right, then.
Let's order some pie.
They're gonna disown me.
Okay, let's get something straight right now.
I am the black sheep of the family.
Today is hard to beat.
You forget that I drove the getaway car.
I robbed the bank.
And I told mother that I hypnotized you.
See? You know, she might actually believe that.
(Laughs) Yes.
(Laughs) You had to think about it, didn't you? No.
Mm-hmm.
No.
(Exhales deeply) Well, at least you didn't walk away empty-handed.
What do you think it is? A toaster, I hope.
Well, we can't keep it.
- Why not? - Mother.
I think that ship has sailed No.
Mother she's here.
(Lowered voice) Quick! Hide! Oh.
Oh, God.
What are you doing? Hide! Laura, she's already seen the car.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Stay here.
(Door bells jingle) (Both shouting indistinctly) Get her in my car! No, mother! (Shouting indistinctly) Kate, I was starting to get worried I was on the wrong plane.
Hello, mother.
(Sighs) What's bringing you to Paris? I thought you said her name was Laura.
This is my other daughter, Catherine.
You have two daughters who are Pan Am stewardesses? I suppose I'm blessed.
Oh, yes.
I see the resemblance to her sister.
- Laura's been back here? - No, dear.
The "Life" magazine.
You brought your own copy.
(Whispers) What does she want? (Whispers) She didn't say.
It's not a coincidence.
(Normal voice) Are you insane? She needs new reading material.
The Life" magazine she's been waving around is over a month old.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
(Magazines thud) And she's all yours.
(Indistinct conversations) Hello, Mr.
Elkins.
You've learned my name.
It's my job to know the names of everyone in first class.
Really? Do you know that my favorite color is blue? I believe the lavatory's open.
I'm not here for the lavatory.
Then can I help you with something? I might need a cigarette later.
Of course.
I'll bring one to your seat.
I like the way that uniform leaves just enough to the imagination.
I imagine you'd be much more comfortable in your seat.
Not interested in comfort.
(Grunting) Aah! I am not included in the price of your ticket.
(Roaring) There you are, and with my favorite drink, I see.
Sorry it took me so long to get back here.
I was up to my ears in roast beef.
It's all right.
You're here now.
Only for a moment, actually.
I there are things I'm supposed to have a seat.
Okay.
Um I yeah, I suppose things can wait.
(Clears throat) If you're gonna tell me what a terrible daughter I am, I wish you'd just go ahead and do it.
What? I know how angry you and daddy are, and I'm sure you're mortified by what Mrs.
Metcalf and those other D.
A.
R.
gossips must be saying, but I just I miss you.
But then why haven't you called? I I sent you a letter, and you never called, not once.
I suppose I was hoping you'd come home, that you would need me, but (Ice cubes rattling) I was clearly wrong.
(Whispers) I do need you.
(Normal voice) I need you so much.
Well that makes me very happy.
And as for Mrs.
Metcalf and the D.
A.
R.
ladies This handled things quite nicely.
(Lowered voice) I'm the new belle of the ball.
(Whispers) Really? How much had he had to drink? Does that matter? (Ice cubes rattle) We need to report him.
Well, I can't exactly do that.
Why not? I sort of stabbed him with a serving fork.
You stabbed him? You did what? Shh! Maggie was accosted by a passenger.
And you stabbed him? It was more of a poke than a stab.
(Banging on door) Is that him? What is he doing? (Sighs) Having second thoughts about molesting stewardesses? (Elkins) - I need a band-aid.
- Hold on, sir.
(Lowered voice) We have to take care of him, or he'll report you.
Yeah, and after inviting miss Havemeyer onto the scale Okay, I'll get the first aid kit.
The first aid kit? What for? Someone's bruised ego.
Can I help you? Um, since the plane isn't full, I was wondering if I could move my mother to first class.
- Sure.
- Absolutely not.
I'm gonna let you two sort this one out.
First class? You're the one who sent me back there.
Yeah, scared to death.
Now you're upgrading her? Can we get you anything else, sir? A tourniquet, maybe? Am I missing something? Besides the fact that mother is a master manipulator? Kate.
Evening, girls.
(Women) Captain.
Air sick.
Could be a while.
I think the, uh, economy lavatory is free.
(Sighs) That's okay.
I'll wait.
Okay.
Excuse me.
(Curtain rings swoosh) Everything okay back here? Absolutely.
Right as rain.
Surprised you haven't asked to take the helm yet.
Oh, the night is young.
I hear you've had a rough evening.
(Curtain rings swoosh) Not very friendly, is he? No.
Do you have big plans for Paris? Little ones.
Wander the streets, take in the sights, the smell.
The smell? Yeah.
Smells like home.
What about you? Big plans? I was thinking of looking up a friend I met at a club once.
I don't remember it having a smell.
Oh, no, with clubs, it's more about the sound.
(Woman singing in French) (Laughter, indistinct conversations) (Song ends) You've been practicing at home.
With my pillow, but she's all left feet.
(Indistinct conversations in French) Bridget! Ca va? Gaspar! Quel plaisir de vous voir.
(Speaks French) Ah, Dean, this is Gaspar, an old friend.
Gaspar, c'est mon petit ami, Dean.
- Ah.
- It's nice to meet you.
Tout le plaisir est pour Moi.
(Speaks French) Merci.
Shame he had to kiss and run.
He's bringing us champagne, darling.
Mm, friends in high places.
(Laughs) C'est un tres bon ami.
I'm sorry.
You're English, yes? Is my French accent that terrible? On the contrary.
You're just that beautiful.
Hey, slow down there, buddy.
With all due respect, of course.
Of course.
Would you happen to have the time? I'm afraid my French is bloody awful.
It's 2230.
Half past 11:00? Of course.
Never was good at military time.
Enjoy your evening.
You're a lucky man.
You know, I haven't heard that since my boxing days.
(Chuckles) What? - Boxing? - Well (Imitates British accent) 2230.
(Normal voice) What are you, a general? No.
Right now I'm a girl in need of the powder room, and I shall leave you in the capable hands of monsieur Gaspar.
Bridget, you can't, because I can't speak French.
Monsieur, je vous sers? Ou bien preferez attendre? Uh, yeah, it looks great.
Thank you.
Merci.
(Woman singing in French) That's good.
Thanks.
(Speaking inaudibly) Monsieur, vous-n'etes pas satisfait de ce choix - Excuse me.
- Monsieur! Hey! Excuse me.
- Monsieur! - Hey! - Monsieur! - You okay? - What the hell did he say to you? - Nothing.
N-nothing happened.
Wait here.
I'll be right back.
Dean! No! He was only being a boor! Dean! (Baby fussing) (Woman) She'll be screaming in about five minutes.
Can you heat this up for me? Miss? Oh, absolutely.
Consider yourself lucky.
She actually bit me once.
- Did she draw blood? - Only a couple of pints.
So how do I report her? Is there a form I fill out? A telephone number? I'll take care of it.
Throw her over my knee if I have to.
I'm serious.
I didn't pay $350 to fly to Paris and get stabbed by the help.
- You didn't pay for - She'll be disciplined.
I guarantee you.
What are you drinking? Scotch.
Maggie, what do you say we fetch Mr.
Elkins here a single malt before landing? Make it a double.
She'll bring it to your seat With bells on.
(Sighs) Call me your guardian angel.
Or superhero.
Your choice.
Shouldn't you be preparing for landing? Maggie, that man was gonna have you fired.
I made him go away for the cost of a drink.
(Sets bottle down) It cost a lot more than that.
You never have to see him again.
(Dish clatters) Yeah, but I have to see you.
I like you.
You speak your mind, and you're a scrapper, but frankly, you keep this up, you're not gonna be around much longer.
You have to be smart.
He's in 3D.
(Dean over P.
A.
) Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Sunrise is in 15 minutes, and we'll be landing shortly after.
Hope you all had a pleasant flight Mother's made reservations at 7:00 in Montmartre.
Time to feed the prodigal daughter her fatted calf.
For all three of us.
Oh, no.
For all two of you.
Kate, I think she's lonely.
She'll talk to you.
From wayward daughter to ambassador in one transcontinental.
I'm impressed.
She bought a ticket.
She came all this way.
That's a big gesture.
Sure is.
She's never gotten on a plane for me.
I'm sure she's wanted to.
No, I'm sure she hasn't.
Did she tell you that? (Sighs) If you only had ringside seats.
Did she ask you to clean out her closet, or did you volunteer? Was bridge club canceled, or were you lying in wait? This is serious, Kate.
What Laura did is selfish and irresponsible.
What Laura did took real courage.
I admire her for it.
Running out on a houseful of guests? Poor Greg is devastated.
I wouldn't blame him if he were through with her for good.
(Sighs) I didn't say she had good timing.
She seemed perfectly content until you arrived.
Clearly, you weren't looking closely enough.
Cold feet are nothing new.
Reconsidering marriage doesn't mean she has to move to Manhattan.
Mother, Laura's reconsidering her whole life.
Don't you understand that? And you're advising her? Absolutely.
Ohh.
You'll be off flying around the world.
What is Laura gonna do in the city alone? (Sighs) Laura plans on flying around the world, too.
She's gonna tag along with you? Mother, Laura's applying to Pan Am.
(Horn honks) No, no, you're not taking her.
Taking her? No one is taking her, mother.
If the life we've given you isn't enough, fine, but don't infect Laura with your with my what? - Dissatisfaction.
- Dissatisfaction? I rode an elephant in Bangkok last week.
(Scoffs) I watched the sun set over Patagonia the week before that.
Which is not nearly as interesting as you think it is.
How would you know? You don't even have a passport.
(Trunk closes) If you wanna trot around God-knows-where, throw your education away to serve coffee to strange men and that sort of thing, I can't stop you! What is "that sort of thing"? But Laura is different.
You mean special.
She's impressionable.
She wants out of this driveway.
She wants a taste of something bigger.
She needs me.
Laura will be fine.
How do you know that? Because I needed you, too! (Engine starts) And I'm fine.
(Indistinct conversations in French) (Traffic sounds) (Knock on door) (Moans) (Knocking continues) Ugh! All right! All right.
You're still sleeping? I could be.
It's 5:00 P.
M.
You flew all night, slept all day.
Paris awaits.
Is Colette here? She's still sleeping.
(Colette) No, no.
No, I'm awake now.
You sure? Yeah, you're right.
Paris awaits.
About that I, uh, did a little wandering.
Had some trouble finding that nightclub I mentioned.
Mm, do you know the name? It's Palace or Chez Palace, maybe.
Everybody keeps directing me to Versailles.
Oh.
Placette.
It's famous.
Placette.
And that explains it.
In St.
Germain.
Great.
Thanks.
(Chuckles) Was there something else? Truth is, um I could use a favor.
The concierge said Cafe Canard should be right down there.
Oh, and we need to remember to get some French cheese.
Cheese? For daddy.
Kate said he wanted cheese? I doubt that, dear.
Mother? You can't give up on her.
Oh, I don't intend to.
Trust me.
Good.
You know, because the three of us can fly anywhere you like.
We can We can explore the whole world together.
(Laughs) The whole world is an awfully big place.
Do you think there's room for one more? Yes, we're allowed to get tickets for daddy, too.
I wasn't talking about your father.
You brought Greg? Now, Laura, he's a good man, and he loves you.
And you loved him enough to want to marry him.
So all that stuff you said on the plane Kate was right about you.
I meant what I said, but Greg deserves an opportunity to Laura! Laura? (Sighs) Laura? What did she do? (Sniffles) Oh.
As you remembered? (Woman singing in French) Well, it's not quite as busy.
It's early.
I came here first when I was 19 with a boy who was an artist.
He fed me drinks until I agreed to let him paint me.
How'd that come out? Mm, depends on your taste.
He was a surrealist.
I had four noses.
(Chuckles) Yeah, but think of all - the smelling you could do.
- Oh.
(Chuckles) (Clears throat) My favor Uh, it wasn't getting me here.
Bridget introduced me to this place, and I think the maitre d' is a good friend of hers.
And you came to ask him if he knows where she is.
Yeah, but the only problem is that You don't speak French.
Yeah.
Let's see what he has to say.
Garcon? Mademoiselle, bonsoir.
Bonsoir.
(Speaks French) Vous connaissez Bridget Pierce? Bridget? Oui, oui.
(Speaking French) (Speaks French) No.
Mais vous devez bien vous souvenir de lui? Non, je vous l'ai deja dit.
J'en suis desole.
- So what what is he saying? - He doesn't remember you.
- But he remembers Bridget, right? - Yeah, they're old friends.
Okay, so does he know where she is? Do Et Bridget? Pouvez-vous me dire ou Elle est? Le capitaine l'a demandee en mariage.
(Laughs) Why is he laughing? Pas etonnant qu'elle ait disparu.
Pourquoi vous dites ca? (Sighs) Bridget aime bien ses petits copains, mais son mari Elle l'adore.
What what is it? What'd he say? Colette? He said she may like her boyfriends, but she loves her husband.
(Elevator bell dings) You had to do it, didn't you? Kate, Laura running from her problems doesn't solve them.
Oh, you were so close.
You were so close to getting your daughter back.
Which one? The one you want.
I want both of you.
No Pardon me.
Might you have the time? It's 2100 Hours.
(Lowered voice) It's good to see you.
(Lowered voice) Bridget, where have you been? Nowhere.
I'm a ghost at the moment.
Why didn't they tell me I was meeting you? Do you have the package? A gift.
How ironic, considering what I've had to give up for it.
Dean.
How is he? It isn't the first time I've heard of a secret marriage.
For girls who want to keep working, it's the only way.
(Exhales deeply) Dean I saw the way she would look at you.
Okay.
Let's get you home.
What's inside? My future.
Couple of months ago, I was meant to take a picture of a man at a local airport, but I missed him.
So I tracked him down on my own, and I got the shot.
Dean was with me when I dropped off the film It's nice to meet you.
To the C.
I.
A.
liaison at a Parisian nightclub.
Champagne? All routine until a mi-6 agent appeared and told me that I'd been compromised whilst taking the picture.
At first they deactivated me, and I resumed my normal life.
But eventually, it was decided That for my own safety, I should become Elizabeth Reese of Kansas City, Missouri.
Good God.
I mean, where on Earth is Missouri? Bridget, I'm so sorry.
They wanted you to deliver this so that you would see what happens if you don't follow orders to the letter.
But I have another unauthorized message.
You volunteered for this.
They will let you out.
The thrill of it The good that you hope you are doing is not worth losing everything, Kate.
But I don't want out.
Does that mean I'm crazy? No.
It means I was right to recommend you.
(Knock on door) You'd think I would have practiced what to say next.
Where are the flowers? Oh, I gave them to an old lady in the lobby.
They were a bad idea.
They were nice.
The old lady was very excited.
Hugs, messy kisses.
Exactly what I was hoping for, really.
Just not from her.
Greg.
I am so sorry.
I really meant to marry you.
I did.
But then suddenly, I put on that wedding dress, and I thought, "here I go.
" My last great adventure.
And then I realized I was only 22, and I'd hardly had any great adventures.
You don't think starting a family is an adventure? Well, sure it is.
It's just not Paris.
You still finish my sentences.
You are still the prettiest girl I have ever laid eyes on.
You need to let me go.
When I was 15, I read a story in "Boys' Life" about climbing Kilimanjaro.
And it seemed about as far away as the moon, but I mowed lawns all summer so that I could make the trek.
Saved almost $300.
Wasn't enough by a long shot, but I put it in the bank, and I swore that someday that money would go towards adventure.
And what did you spend it on? A ring.
Th-that's not the point.
The point is, if what you're leaving me for is Kilimanjaro? Then bon voyage, Laura.
Safe journey.
(Ted) Well, I don't understand a word you're staying.
Hey! Hey! There she is! The tenderizer.
Come on! That was funny.
(Key turns in lock) Hey, I-if you lost your key, you're welcome to stay with us.
Oh, I almost forgot.
I got you a little present.
(Laughing) You know, I actually learned something today.
Don't piss off Maggie Ryan.
I know what my job is.
For the price of their ticket, businessmen get to flirt with pretty women.
And I can handle flirts.
I can handle the personal grooming checks, the weigh-ins, the boozy jerk that crosses the line.
But what I can't handle is that you made it okay for him to try that again with another girl.
M-Maggie (Sighs) (Exhales deeply) (Sighs) What do you want? One stamp.
It's impressive.
Look at the date it was issued.
The summer I became stewardess? I tried.
I need you, too.
(Sighs) (Humming) We were supposed to take a right at Rue chat qui danse.
You're laughing at me.
The French girl who got lost in France? No.
You're the one who wanted to wander.
Besides, I wasn't lost.
No, I was bewildered by the moment.
Shall we? How do you say "lost" in French? Perdu.
Perdu.
I am Perdu.
No.
No.
Nous sommes perdus.
We are lost.
(Chuckles) What are you doing? (Woman singing in French) Nous sommes Dancing.
(Laughs) (Laughs) You smell like whiskey and cigarettes.
And you smell like Paris.