Party of Five s01e02 Episode Script

I was wrong about you, wasn't I? I mean, look at you.
You're all grown up.
What a surprise.
So grown up.
Has anyone ever told you you're irresistible? Not Not really.
You are just the cutest thing I've ever seen.
I just want to eat you up.
Such a big boy.
Such a big boy.
Such a big, big boy.
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
You know, I've really got things under control here, so if there's something you need to do No.
I'm happy to make myself, you know, available, lend you a hand or whatever just till you get into the swing of things here.
It's been over two and a half weeks.
Has it? Aren't you going to be late for school? I'm at the point now where I can pretty much set my own schedule, more or less.
Really? I don't remember being like that.
You don't want to miss your ride.
Look how messy you are.
Look how messy you are.
You know, he's very picky about his bath.
I should probably show you.
JULIA: They never carry any books.
You ever notice that? We walk around like two librarians all the time.
Please.
You're, like, obsessed with Nina DiMayo and her escorts.
I guess not carrying any books leaves your hands free to do other things.
Why couldn't that be us? How about no car, no guys, no cigarettes, no attitude? We could bum some cigarettes.
Yeah.
Are you going to tell me what you did on number seven or not? Think of the 80- and-dying test.
When you're 80 and dying, what are you going to look back on and regret not doing? I swear you getting the right answer on number seven is not going to be on the list.
Let's leave our books in our lockers today.
What do you say? [BELL RINGS.]
What are you doing? Connect-the-dots.
A few more freckles and we've got the Oakland Bay Bridge.
[LAUGHS.]
Uh-oh.
Damn.
What? Deadline.
You know how it is.
Second thought, maybe you don't.
Hey, you said the shelves would take two weeks, tops.
That's before I had incentive to make the job last.
Charlie Charlie, I've got to work.
the proliferation of Japanese noodle restaurants in the city.
I hadn't noticed.
Due at five on the dot.
So you'll be Your editor will understand.
Fifteen, huh? I could make it 10.
Oh, God, you are young.
It's not like some weird sexual thing that I should be interested in her just because she's taking care of my brother, is it? You realize that this paper's due in three days? Yeah.
See, I get this funny pain thing in my stomach whenever I see her.
A funny pain thing? You're gone, man.
Okay, so she's older, a little, which is tough but not impossible.
I definitely have to make the first move.
Any suggestions? Yeah.
Snap out of it, okay? Do you have any clue how to "analyze the poem To His Coy Mistress "in terms of its theme, language, metaphor, imagery, and meter"? Not off the top of my head.
Well, you'd better figure it out, because if you spend the next three days mooning over this babysitter and blow this paper and get put on academic probation and get benched from the team and we lose another game, me and 10 other guys are gonna come to your house and do a job on your face so that no girl will ever find you attractive again.
[BELL RINGS.]
Okay? There's no point in threatening a man in love.
Hopeless! Bay, what's Uncle Kurt's wife's name again? The new one.
The one he moved to France for? Marnie.
Marie.
Something like that.
What about Nana and Papa? When were they born? What is this, Claud? We're supposed to do our family trees, like with cut-out construction paper, you know, all that? So, Nana and Papa? Huh? Oh.
Uh Nana died in '86, same year as Grandma Jane.
Papa was in, like, '89.
They were both 70-something.
I don't know.
Can't you do the math? What about Grandpa? Last one, I promise.
Grandpa Jack.
When was he born? I don't know, Claud.
Honest, I don't.
Mom was 10 when he took off.
She never talked about him.
No one's heard from him since, like, the Eisenhower administration.
But he's alive.
I mean, no one knows that he isn't alive.
We're low on fabric softener.
He could be alive.
You all right, Bailey? Hello.
Hello.
JULIA: So we take the Filmore bus to Geary and the Geary bus to Castro? The Castro line takes forever.
We get anything from Mr.
Graham? I don't know.
Can I--? He was going to send me the monthly statement from the estate.
Can I borrow 10 bucks? What for? Cab fare, in case we're out past the bus' last run.
Cab fare? The library's like three blocks away.
We're kind of not going to the library.
There's this party we heard about.
It's supposed to be this huge blowout.
We're gonna crash.
Thanks, Charlie.
Look, if my mom calls, could you tell her we did go to the library? Sure thing.
Cool.
Actually, that'll only work till nine.
After nine, could you tell her that we went down to the corner to get some pizza? No prob.
Great.
See you later.
Any time after 10, could you tell her that I was so fried from studying that I kind of crashed on Julia's bed and you don't think it's such a good idea to wake me up? He's got us covered, Lib.
I've got you covered, Lib.
Have fun.
Hey, Char, you ever been with an older woman? Why? Why do you want to know? I'm just curious.
That's all.
Uh, yeah.
Sure I have.
What's it like? Well, it's great.
Older women are great.
So you don't think that an age difference is necessarily a big problem? Nah.
You kidding me? It can work in your favor.
All that stuff about women peaking later than guys.
So how do you get something like that going? The big thing is you've got to let them know you're not so young you can't talk to them about stuff they're interested in.
What do you mean? Say, she's, like I don't know, a restaurant critic.
A restaurant critic? She's got all these books about cooking and food and stuff, so you say something like, "You know, I've never understood the difference between Szechuan and Mandarin cuisine.
" So you ask her something she knows about.
What is she, a senior or something? Uh yeah.
Go for it, man.
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING.]
LIBBY: Maybe I should check to see if my mom called.
Lib, would you relax? We can't sit here forever, you know.
I mean, we didn't take three buses to sit on the hood of a Pontiac and watch other people have fun.
People are going to think we're major geeks if we go in looking like we don't know anyone.
Okay, so we go in there saying, like, "Has anyone seen David?" Who's that? Well, there's five Davids in Soc alone.
There's got to be at least one here.
What do you say? Has anyone seen David? That's not much of a conversation starter.
No, but it's a plan.
Kirsten? Owen was playing with my key ring out here today and he must've dropped it somewhere.
I didn't realize it until now.
Want some help? Yeah.
Thanks.
Jeez, it's cold out here, isn't it? You want my sweater? No.
Oh, come on.
Don't be silly.
Take it.
Thanks.
Okay, uh the thing to do is divide the backyard into quadrants.
Sounds like you've done this before.
Yeah? Well, once I got into a fistfight with Tommy Slovoto from up the street, and he knocked my front tooth out.
I spent, like, a whole day back here trying to find it.
Which one was it? It's kind of hard to believe that smile isn't 100 percent natural.
[KEY JANGLES.]
Found them.
Great.
Thanks.
Well Night.
Night.
What are you so happy about? Nothing.
CLAUDIA: I decided I'm going to find him.
Grandpa Jack.
I'm going to find him.
You're going to find him? Uh-huh.
You're going to go out and look for him? Yep.
And you know how to do that? Of course not.
I'm in the fifth grade.
I'll just get some help.
The thing is, Claud, He's been missing for like 30 years.
He could be dead.
Or maybe he doesn't really want to be found.
Or maybe he's waiting for someone to want to find him.
I just don't think you should get your hopes up, Claud.
Did you ever look for him? Did you ever ask any questions about him at all? Did you? Well, no, but there wasn't much point.
Jeez.
I'd hate to think what would happen to me if I ended up missing for 30 years.
Claudia Well, I'm going to find him.
"That night, the princess was at dinner "with her father, the king, and his royal court "when there came "a strange knocking on the door "and a voice cried out, 'Princess, Princess! "Let me in!' "The princess ran to see who it could be and was startled to see the frog.
" Still reading to him in his sleep? He can hear me.
It's amazing, huh? I've always been fascinated by the unconscious mind.
You mean the subconscious mind.
Exactly.
I had no idea you were interested in psychology, Bailey.
Well, I dabble, so I know how important it is to stimulate Owen's imagination.
Little boys with imaginations grow up to be men who are creative and resourceful.
Men I find very, very sexy.
I, uh had an imaginary friend when I was a kid.
No kidding? That's supposed to be a sign of real sensitivity.
Really? Huh.
Yeah.
His name was Lloyd.
Lloyd W.
Loomis.
Lloyd Loomis.
I guess I must have been pretty sensitive, because Lloyd and I would spend hours just imagining together.
What did you and Lloyd talk about? Uh baseball, mainly.
Yeah.
I wanted to be a ballplayer, and Lloyd was living with me, under my bed, I think, and because his father his father was a catcher for this minor league farm team of the Giants, and so he was on the road all the time and So you took him in.
Except during the off-season.
[LAUGHING.]
Is that weird? No.
Actually, it's a sign of a very nurturing and caring person.
Yeah.
I'd lend him my clothes and feed him and save him a place at the table next to me.
Why am I telling you this? What? I think it's wonderful.
[DOORBELL CHIMES.]
Claudia? You want to explain? Alan Tisk.
Golden State Private Investigations.
We spoke.
Nice to meet you, Mr.
Tisk.
I'll take it from here, Charlie.
No, Claudia, you won't "take it from here.
" You can't just call up a private eye and-- What's going on? Mr.
Tisk and I are going to find Grandpa.
Jack Gordon.
Left his wife and daughter approximately 30 years ago in Seattle.
Brief stint in the U.
S.
Navy during WWII.
" Yup.
That's all we know.
You hired a private detective? to be missing.
See, Claud? That's what we told you.
You're wasting the man's time.
Am I? Never say die.
I'm with you, Mr.
Tisk.
Good, then let's talk business.
My retainer is $500 payable up front.
Wow.
My retainer didn't cost nearly that much.
I charge $100 an hour plus expenses.
Could we do this in, like Can you recommend somebody cheaper? How about a free tip.
Try the Veterans' Administration.
Pleasure doing business with you, Mr.
Tisk.
You were sleeping in Civ.
I was not.
Yes, you were.
I saw you.
You were doing that head-jerking thing.
Shut up.
Four hours sleep.
It is a miracle that I'm even standing.
So what's the verdict? Did you have fun? Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
Did you? Yeah, I guess sort of.
It was kind of hard to carry a conversation with the music cranking.
So did you see me dancing with that blond guy with the parrot tattoo? He was gorgeous.
So do you like him? Like him? It's kind of hard to tell.
I mean, he had his eyes closed the whole time.
He was sort of moaning to the music.
I don't really think he knew I was there.
Weren't you guys at Bryan Dennahan's last night? Yeah.
Pretty happening, huh? I can't believe those bonehead neighbors called the cops.
I mean, the music wasn't so loud.
Totally.
Quel drag.
You know, uh, Jason's parents are leaving town tomorrow, and him and Nina were thinking about doing something, if you're interested.
Great.
[WHISPERING.]
Great.
[BELL RINGS.]
Okay, you guys.
Everything off your desks.
I know you spent the evening with King Lear last night, so let's see how much of it actually sunk in, huh? [STUDENTS GROANING.]
Oh, you're beautiful when you're angry.
Papers on my desk when you're done, and tonight's assignment is to finish the play.
I'm afraid I can't do that.
I'm sure you can.
Don't you have that kind of information in a computer? Can't you just, like, type in his name and tell me where he is? It's against our policy to give out that kind of information to the general public.
It's real important that I find him.
He owes me money.
Look, Sergeant, I'm an orphan.
My four brothers and sisters are orphans.
We're all alone and we have no one to take care of us, and this man is our only surviving grandparent, yet we have no idea where he is or if he's alive, even.
That's G-O-R-D-O-N.
Gordon.
You got to see this place.
Sea Ranch.
All the houses are built to fit, like, right into the environment.
Oh, yeah? You think this skirt makes my butt look too big? No.
You look great.
See, I'd love to do that, build houses like that.
Like what? Environmentally, you know, conscious like at Sea Ranch.
Oh, yeah.
See, I don't think I know the place.
I hate these events.
The Bay Area Restaurateurs Association annual cocktail party and brown-nosing hour.
You don't know how lucky you are not to get invited to these things.
Well, at least the food's good, right? Hey, the shelves came out great.
Yeah, didn't they? I don't know, Charlie.
We're going to have to come up with some new excuse for you being here in the afternoon.
Right.
You know, my kitchen cabinets could use some refinishing.
Uh These, uh These next few weeks are going to be kind of I mean, I've got a house painting thing over in Mill Valley, and Okay, so how can we work this? I'll call you.
You call me.
Yeah, sure.
It sounds good.
Okay, Charlie.
So you sure we're square on the shelves? Paid in full.
Where you been? Out.
What you doing? Are you throwing this away? MYOB, huh, Claud? Can I keep some of this if you don't want it? [MUSIC BOX PLAYING.]
Mom bought you this music box.
It's kids' stuff, Claud.
I'm not a kid anymore.
Yeah, right.
Oh, I remember when you got this.
Claudia-- "Presented to Julia Salinger, as the promising freshman in the whole--" Do you mind? I don't feel like staring at a bunch of lousy trophies every day of my life, okay? Whoa, what's gotten into you? Nothing.
It's just like all your violin stuff.
I mean, all these dumb plaques and awards and lessons and practicing and competitions and everything I mean, does that really make you happy? Yeah.
It does.
Just whipped up some spaghetti and meatballs.
It's your favorite, right? Did I say that? Yeah, I guess.
Dinner is served.
CLAUDIA: Bailey made dinner? Can you believe they only give you six meatballs in a can? Isn't that a rip-off? Is this seat taken? No.
No! Uh I was going to sit there on that side so that I could serve.
Who cares where you sit? You've got a whole bench to yourself.
There's even enough space for Lloyd.
Lloyd? Bailey's imaginary baseball-playing friend.
Eat.
CHARLIE: What is this? You have an imaginary friend, Bay? You weren't supposed to mention that.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
What position does he play? I'm really sorry.
I didn't know you hadn't told anybody.
Imaginary friend, huh, Bailey? Named Lloyd? That's so cute.
This is a fascinating insight.
Okay, can we just drop this, please? Sorry.
What time is it? I've got to get to the restaurant.
Hey, you work too hard, Charlie.
Yeah, right.
You're one to talk.
Could you pass the, uh KIRSTEN: I could use a little vacation.
I've been thinking about taking some time, driving up the coast.
No kidding.
You ever been to Sea Ranch? Cheese? The place with all the houses? Please? You know it? That is so beautiful.
Isn't it? I love that place.
The way every building complements its natural surroundings.
Right.
Why can't they do that here in the city? I know.
I feel exactly the same way.
No kidding.
It was really nice of you guys to include me tonight.
Sure.
Of course.
Absolutely.
I didn't know your brother was such a chef.
Wait till you try his tuna casserole.
Well, it was sweet of him to make such a fuss.
He means well.
Seems like he's always thinking of other people.
Yeah.
All in all, he's, uh a pretty great kid.
I'm so sorry about last night, Bailey.
Forget about it.
No, really.
I mean it.
It never occurred to me that you hadn't told anybody you had an imaginary-- It was a line.
Okay? What? A line.
I just made it up.
You did? The thing is, I don't want to play any more games.
Kirsten-- [TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Salinger residence.
Oh, hi.
God, you're up and about early.
No, that's okay.
I already did.
On my way to work.
Last pair.
"Obstructed view through the" It was the best I could do.
Well, who needs to see Gregorian chants anyway, right? Charlie So we'll hook up after work tomorrow? Great.
Julia.
Guess we both have snooze button syndrome, huh? Yeah, I guess.
I thought I'd show this in class.
It's Peter Brooks' film of King Lear.
You seen it? Me neither.
A date took me to see it in college and I slept through the whole thing.
I'm hoping it was the guy and not the movie.
So, anything you want to say about yesterday's quiz? You and Libby really helped the curve.
I gave you a 52.
That's an F, Julia.
Yeah, well, I guess I didn't get the play.
Shakespeare, you know.
It's hard.
I'd believe you if you said you hadn't read it, but not understand it? Come on.
Last year, that paper you wrote on Othello, that was much harder stuff.
Okay, you're right.
I didn't read it.
That F is going to pull down the rest of your grade.
That would be too bad, don't you think? Look, you and Libby want to earn some extra credit tonight? Give me five typed pages on what qualities make Lear a tragic hero, I'll take the Fs off the books.
Okay? [BELL RINGS.]
Yikes.
See you in class.
Mr.
Gordon? Jack Gordon? That's right.
Can I do something for you? I'm, uh, selling Girl Scout cookies.
I thought you girls wore a uniform.
Oh, I ripped mine trying to get my tree-climbing badge.
So you want to buy some? They're three bucks a box.
I don't think so.
Thanks anyway.
Why don't you try Marilyn over there? Maybe you'd like to buy your wife a box of her favorites.
I haven't had a wife for more years than you've been alive, my dear.
Tell you what.
I'll take a couple of the chocolate mint kind.
So this is where you live? On a boat? Neat.
The only way to live.
You wake up in the morning and you decide you hate the view, well, all you've got to do is loosen the mooring, and you sail off to someplace you like better.
I've never been on a ship before.
I'd like to learn how to sail.
You never stood behind a wheel? Never come about? Never hoisted a mizzen? I'm only 11.
Fair enough.
I mean, did your daughter sail before she was 11? That's six bucks, right? You see something that interests you? You like violin music.
Hey, I'm missing the latest issue of Rolling Stone.
Check to see if it's in there, would you, Bay? Check for yourself.
What the hell? What is going on with you? All of a sudden you're interested in Gregarian chants, huh? It's Gregorian chants, I think, and what the hell is your problem? My problem is, you don't know how to stay out of other people's territory.
What? I'm interested in her, okay? In In Kirsten? You mean she's the older woman? You said You said You said a senior.
What do you think I made her that dinner for last night? I have no idea.
Honestly, I have no idea what you're thinking, Bay.
You're 16 years old.
You're in high school.
She's in grad school.
She's a professional.
You actually think she's going to be interested in you? I could ask you the same thing.
For your information, she asked me out, so I guess she's not waiting around for you to make your move.
You can have any girl you want.
You just walk into a room, and every girl in there wants to be with you.
You always get whatever you want, and this is important to me.
It's a fantasy, Bay.
So what? So it's my fantasy.
What is wrong with that? I spend my whole life worrying about everyone and taking care of everything, but this is mine, and maybe it won't work out, but maybe it will.
Maybe one-in-a-million, it will, and you know what else, Charlie? You'll walk down the street tomorrow, and you'll see someone, or some woman will pay you to do a job for her, and you'll hop into bed with her, and you'll forget all about Kirsten.
I know you.
Screw you, Bailey.
LIBBY: So what do you say? Your house or mine? I want to go to this party tonight.
Uh-huh.
No, we can't.
We've got a paper due.
So what'll it be? So we'll blow it off.
Come on, Libby.
It'll be so much fun.
Julia, we've got like 12 hours to get this F off our record.
So what? So we get an F.
It's not gonna kill us.
Something has definitely gone wrong with you.
Did you have, like, a little stroke? No, I just don't want to spend the night writing a stupid paper.
Please, Lib? No.
Why not? Is this party really so important to you? I mean, you really care that much about Nina DiMayo and her stupid friends? You know, they don't even know your name.
And you care that much about getting another A.
I'm not gonna explain this to you.
I'm not gonna explain why it's better to work hard and get good grades and, like, go to college than hang out with people who talk about, I don't know, getting drunk.
At least they don't spend their time comparing perfect attendance records and swapping answers to trig questions.
If you're bored with my company, don't let me keep you.
That's not what I'm saying.
You know, you're one to talk.
You've got more As than anyone, and if it's all so moronic, then what the hell have you been doing? I don't know! Shh! [WHISPERING.]
I don't know.
It's stupid, Lib.
It's all just a stupid waste of time, because tomorrow it could all be over, just like that.
It could all be over before I've had any fun at all.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Listen, I didn't want to say anything until I was sure Ross called.
He wants to know if he can switch your lesson to Friday.
but now I am.
Well, sure, that is.
I found him.
I found him.
Our grandfather.
Grandpa Jack.
I found him.
He's been living in the marina on a sailboat all this time.
Isn't that funny? How do you know it's him, Claud? Did you talk to him? Duh.
And he said he was our grandfather? Well, no, but he is.
Okay, number one, his name is Jack Gordon.
That's a pretty common name.
Number two, he was in the Navy.
BAILEY: So are hundreds of guys, Claud.
Number three, he listens to violin music all the time.
Number four-- Claudia Number 4 is he's been married two times, except he doesn't ever like to talk about his first marriage, you know, probably because he feels so bad about leaving Mom.
But you never asked him, Claud, did you? You never said, "I think you're my grandfather.
" Of course not.
I mean, he left a family once before.
If I told him there were five of us, he'd probably have a heart attack or disappear.
He's got to get to know us first, before he finds out, well.
.
we belong to him.
You don't believe me.
Claud, it's it's not that we don't want to.
It just sounds so Unlikely.
None of you did anything to find him.
You never even tried, but I did.
I found him, so I don't care what you think.
I know he's our grandfather.
[DOOR SLAMS.]
The thing is, it'd be really good to have someone else around.
Just in case.
Just in case something happens, or Bailey and Julia go away to college, or Charlie gets tired of taking care of us, which I could understand.
Just in case.
[GURGLES.]
You check on Claud? Only one she'll talk to is Owen.
How's this going? Essentially, I'm screwed.
I can't concentrate.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
It's just Things are just not going real well right now.
Does this have anything to do with you and Charlie? Because I'm getting some vibes.
Don't get me started, okay? It can't be that bad.
On second thought I'm looking at an F.
Maybe a G-minus.
Not that you would know what that's like.
So, have fun at your party.
I'm sure you'll come up with something by tomorrow.
Do you have a thesis sentence? A thesis sentence.
A summary of what you want to say.
Yeah.
"This poem doesn't make any sense.
" Okay.
How about this? "To His Coy Mistress" is Andrew Marvell's lament to the timelessness of love and the mortality of human flesh.
Do I know you? Type it in.
Timelessness of love, mortality of human flesh.
This is great.
This is fantastic.
Now what? In so doing, the poet and his mistress, instead of being at the mercy of time, become its master.
This is where I want to put in the quote.
Uh, "like amorous birds of prey our time devour.
" Whoa.
I am good.
We're good.
We're good.
You're good.
Devour time like amorous birds of prey.
Time check.
Uh You're kidding.
Damn! I can't Look, just do a couple of paragraphs on the imagery and come up with a conclusion I'm going to bed.
Hey.
You saved my life.
I know.
So? So? So was it fun? The party? I didn't go.
Really? Yeah, I got stuck at home dealing with stuff.
So did you write it? You? Yeah, I kind of did.
[BELL RINGS.]
Look, why don't you read it over really fast? Maybe you could say some of the same stuff differently.
Even if it's not five pages, you could still turn something in.
That's okay but thanks.
MISS MINOR: Okay, gang, let's get started.
Why don't we talk about the last scene between Lear and his daughters? Goneril, Regan, Cordelia, they all Miss Behrens.
Miss Salinger.
Do you have something for me? Julia? I'm sorry.
BAILEY: Mr.
Gordon? I'm Bailey Salinger.
Yes? I think you met my kid sister, Claudia.
Oh.
Sure did.
The Girl Scout.
The what? She's a pistol, that one.
Yeah, she is.
The thing is, Mr.
Gordon, I don't think she's been completely up front with you.
I'm not sure what she told you about our situation.
I'm not following you.
Our parents were killed in a car accident last March.
It was a drunk driver.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
And we're kind of on our own.
There's not much family.
Just an uncle in Europe, but he couldn't really deal.
All our grandparents are gone except for one.
Our mother's father.
He's been out of the picture for like 30 years.
You and he have the same name.
Do we, now? See, my sister's gotten it into her head that Claud's got this crazy idea that well, that you're him, and of course, you're not.
I mean, that's what we've told her.
There's no way you could be our grandfather.
Right? My mother's name was Diana.
Want a lift? You know what I did today? Seatbelt.
Seatbelt.
Right.
I went to see a friend of yours.
We sat on the deck of his boat and talked for a long time.
He's a really nice guy I told you.
But you know what, Claud? He's not our grandfather.
You told him about us, didn't you? See, that's why he doesn't want to admit-- There weren't any kids from his first marriage, he never lived in Seattle-- just passed through-- and he's got grandkids.
Six of them.
He showed me pictures.
I think you knew he wasn't all along, didn't you? Claudia, whatever you thought he could do for you, however you thought he could help or make things easier, whatever you needed him to be, we've got to be that for you.
It's just us.
That's all we've got.
It's just us.
We're not doing so bad, are we? I mean, I know sometimes it's hard, but on the whole, I'd say we're doing pretty okay.
Wouldn't you? Claudia? Are we just going to sit here or what? Excuse me.
Nina? Do you have change for a dollar? Change.
Do you have change? Um, I don't know.
Yeah.
Great.
Miss Minor? Yeah.
She almost failed me last year.
Like Shakespeare's ever going to be relevant in my life.
Really.
Bummer taking the bus, huh? Oh, you have no idea.
My boyfriend usually gives me a lift home, but he has detention today.
He mooned Mrs.
Vidora.
You're kidding.
That was him? Yeah.
Bio class, right? Chem, but his big mistake was telling her to consider herself lucky, since that was probably the only male butt she'd see all decade.
I think the lab fumes got to him.
Rumor has it she used to be a he.
Really? Yeah.
Mrs.
Vidora? Mm-hmm.
You ever looked at her wrists? Tree trunks.
Who taught her to put on makeup anyway, you know? I mean, cosmetics should not look like they've been applied with a spatula.
Words to live by.
Yeah.
Hey, you know Lani Sutter, right? Oh, my God.
Now, this is a story.
Listen to this.
When's Charlie getting off? Beats me.
Might as well go ahead and order.
It's just the four of us for dinner.
Charlie's got a date.
Hey, there.
Hey.
You look nice.
It should be a great concert.
I'm really looking forward to it.
Sorry you had to cancel.
Sort of last minute, huh, Charlie? I'm sorry.
Work.
Listen, um let me pay for the ticket.
No, no.
No, it's okay.
I'm going with this guy George.
He's been after me to go out for a while.
Turns out he loves Gregorian chants.
Yeah, who doesn't? George, huh? I'm meeting him right outside.
I've got to go.
See you.
JULIA: So can you give me a lift, Bailey? Bailey? What is so fascinating? Ordering here or what? I thought you were, uh What do you need? An explanation in writing? We're not going out, okay? Thanks.
Pass the bread, will you? What's going on here? CLAUDIA: You and Kirsten? Wait, you were going out with Kirsten? Claud, have a roll.
With Kirsten? Can we order? Sure, Charlie.
What are you having? Steak.
You always have steak.
So? You got to watch your cholesterol.
Yeah.
I'll get tested.
She eats like a truck driver.
Listen, I got this idea, and I don't want you to say no, because it will be really cool.
Did you know you can rent sailboats at the marina? Sounds logical.
They let you take them out all day if you want, but you have to have a grownup.
Charlie? I'm in.
Great.
Have you guys ever been sailing? No.
I don't think so.
Uh-uh.
See, the thing about sailing is, you can loosen the moorings and go wherever you want.
You do have to know some things, like swabbing the deck and coming about and mizzens.
Well, that's a sail, but I can show you.
See? Fun for the whole family.
[LAUGHING.]
[♪.]