Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero (2014) s01e02 Episode Script

Wherever good is threatened, heroes rise to the challenge and always save the day! Except when they don't.
And that's when I go to work.
I zap in two dimensions every day It's my job to be a hero, save the world And make things right Kung fu moles, rescue trolls Punch a zombie! score a goal! I'm a robot, I'm a rabbit, I'm a knight Stretching, swinging, sliding by Kicking monsters in the eye Boone and Sashi always sticking by my side No villain's gonna stop Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero - Who's the best team? - We are the best team.
- Who's the best team? - We're the best team! It's very nice to see you getting along and making happy times.
Yeah, well, I mean I don't want to throw around the term "dream team," but Was not talking to you, was talking to them.
Okay, today I send to world where something very fishy is going on.
Let me guess, ocean world? Right? I wonder what we're going to "sea.
" Like the ocean? Nobody? Boone? Earth to Boone? Where is the prince? The survival of Oceanaquariopolis depends on him.
Don't worry.
The prince would never abandon us.
Hmm? Yeah! You see these fin hands? My high fives are going to be amazing! Should we look for Boone? It's probably part of the mission.
Check the specs.
Okay, the fulltime prince couldn't unlock the war trident.
I'm sure all the words you're saying are important.
We have to unlock the trident and use it to protect - Oceanaquariopolis.
- Oceana-thing-apopolis, got it.
- No, Oceanaquariopolis.
- Like I said.
From the evil octopus people.
Are you paying attention? Yes, Sosh, unlock the trident, protect Oceana-popolu, fight octopus people.
Did you be my butt fin? I'm swimming in circles because everyone else is! - Sire, we heard you'd fled.
- Well, you heard wrong, fair maiden.
- I am a man.
- That's okay, I was talking to her.
- I am also a man.
- Hmm - Just get him the trident! - We can't.
Look, I'm sorry I thought you were both ladies, it's your full lips and eye makeup, but now's not the time to make it a thing.
We can't get the trident because it's sealed with a magical enchantment, only the wise one can open it.
What is that noise? I'm just hanging out not doing anything important Boone, uh, you butt-dialed me.
Oh, hey, Penn.
Huh, must have butt-dialed you.
Wait, where is my butt? Uh, yeah.
I'd love to help you find your butt, but right now I'm getting ready to fight like a billion octopuses! Nice.
Boone out.
No, no, Boone not out! Get down here! Negatory, my man.
I am handling a bunch of important stuff right now.
- Oh, yeah.
What stuff? - Wise man stuff.
Look, you're the hero, dude, you got this.
Boone, we need you to unlock the trident Uh-oh, oh, no, Penn Oh, no, you're dropping out.
I can see you making that noise with your mouth.
No, you can't.
Boone! I can't believe he hung up on me.
I think I know where Boone is.
Sosh, can you handle things down here for a second? I will turn the ocean red with the blood of my enemies! - A "yes" would have been fine.
- Oh.
Then, yes.
Ah, what's this? Yuck.
Hey! Who's hungry for calamari? - My brother-in-law's a calamari.
- It's just an expression.
Not an expression I've ever heard.
Coco-moat, coco-moat I'm gonna build a coco-boat - That's what's so important? - No.
There's also that.
Okay, look, you're coming down and unlocking the magic vault thingy, let's go.
If I leave, who's gonna eat all these bananas? Our mission is not to eat bananas! Well, it should be, 'cause I'm great at eating bananas and it's never appreciated.
Yeah, Boone's making sand cars and eating nanners, how's it looking down there? - Mermaids make the worst army.
- We are gentlemen fish warriors, we will not have our bravery questioned.
Run like cowards! An army with no leader, it's like shooting I don't know, something, something in a barrel.
If I had this many arms back home, know what I'd do? - No.
- Start a Christmas tree decorating company.
'Cause what takes forever? Decorating Christmas trees.
One time I bought a Christmas tree in July, just to make sure I could get it done in time, and they said, "Larry, you're crazy.
No one buys a Christmas tree in July.
" And I said, "Well, if no one buys 'em, then why are you selling 'em?" And they said, "We're not, now put down that saw and get out of my backyard before we call the police.
" Uh, I love the holidays.
Boone, seriously, we got to go! - Wait! - Get over here.
Stop! Whoa! - Get it off! Oh! - Wait a second.
- Get it off! - Are you afraid of water? No.
Okay, yes! Why didn't you just tell me? We're best friends.
I was embarrassed, okay? I can't even take showers or baths.
Oh, then how do you clean yourself? I knew I shouldn't have flash-backed.
Hang on, it's Sosh.
We're on our way.
Dude! Boone, I'm going to help you conquer your fears.
We can do this, all right? - How? - Very gently.
Whoa! Oh, oh, stop, oh Second wall is falling, my lord.
- The war trident is as good as ours.
- Octopus people or whatever you call yourselves, get ready to We are so gonna win! Up top.
Yeah, it's all right.
Up top, up top, up top.
Larry! We still have eight more tentacles.
Ooh! Boone, the good news is, you don't have to get wet.
Bad news is, you have to get gross.
Whoa! Yoo-hoo! Be not afraid! For it is I, Crab Man Boone coming to you from this fishy gas bag of gross.
Stop pulling, Larry.
Stop.
Larry! No! Larry! Let me go! Whoa! - Boone! - Penn! Who like hugs? I do.
Boone, you have to unlock the trident.
- You got to swim for it.
- I can't.
- Yes, you can.
- No, I can't.
I believe in you.
You can do it.
- Yeah, I'm just not gonna do it.
- Boone! I said, no! Whoa.
Dude, I float.
Of course you float.
It's water.
Whoa, this is fun.
It's like being in outer space, but like underwater.
Now that's a high five! Yeah! Superpower war trident octopus crab! Yeah! Right on, sand-vette! Let's see what this honey can do.
- Why, thank you, my good man.
- I am a lady.
Right.
Is this a bad time, guys? I can call back.
It's a perfect time, sweetie.
Hey, Penn, want to talk werewolves again? 'Cause it's not hard to win 'em over if you know where to scratch.
Unfortunately, it's not their belly.
Only thing I scratch a werewolf with is a silver bullet.
I thought that sounded like Sashi.
Move.
My little superstar trio.
Oh, Boone, if you don't mind, could you take your feet off the coffee table or so help me I will smash your head in like a ripe melon! - Troll, I was talking to the troll.
- Whew.
Just keep doing what you're doing.
You're a great team.
Triple fist bump.
Oh, and, pal, if you're still having trouble with that rash on your bottom, the baby powder is in the bottom drawer in the bathroom.
Bye! Whoa, looks like cowboy world.
Cowboy world! Giddy up! I'm not the sheriff? Really thought I'd be the sheriff.
At least you got cool chaps.
All I got is a stethoscope and this bag full of leeches.
Cowboy world.
- I don't even - Yeah, me neither.
Okay, Sosh, check the specs.
Sosh? Wow, Sosh, with that dress, you totally look like a lady.
The hat, the bustle, I mean, it's a great Ooh! - Ooh! - All right.
We're ordinary townsfolk who live in the town of Big - Butt.
- Butte.
It's pronounced "Beeyoot.
" We have to stop bank robbers from stealing the life savings of everyone in the town of Big - Butt.
- Before they cross the county line, and ride off on their trusty Who's got a T-Rex? I do.
Giddy up.
Howdy do, students? Ooh, this thing's got a big tail.
Dinosaur cowboy world! Guys, we've got to get Rippen.
- Yee-ha! - Yippee ki-yay! Hi-ho dino! Oops.
- Allosaur! - Hadrosaur! Cow-osaur! Let's get that gold back! Whoa.
Does "whoa" work on dinosaurs? Ow! No, no, no, you don't understand.
We're the good guys.
Good guys don't commit grand theft dino.
- Sir - The name is Sheriff Scaley Briggs.
- Sheriff Briggs - Sheriff Scaley Briggs.
- Sheriff Scaley Briggs.
- Sheriff Scaley Briggs.
That's literally what I just said.
You said Sheriff Scaley Briggs? Okay, that's enough, Madge! Look, all we were trying to do is stop the bandits who robbed your bank.
No one done robbed the bank.
Holy snakes, someone done robbed the bank! Still don't mean I done arrested the good guys.
Sheriff Briggs done arrested the good guys! Still don't mean I should let you out! - Sheriff Briggs should let 'em - All right, dag-nabbit! It's hard to tell who's a bad guy ever since they started selling black hats to the general public.
Herbivore.
Carnivore.
Behave or I will make you extinct.
- What are you doing? - I'm Sheriff, I'm going with you.
Uh, oh, um No, see the thing is, we're kind of a trio.
Around here we got a saying.
Bandit rustling's like walls on an outhouse, having four's better than three.
We work alone, old timer.
The name is Sheriff Scaley Briggs.
Madge! Whoa! Still got my tricks.
Here's the deal.
I'm coming or it's back to jail and we can waste time discussing it while your friend tries to milk that triceratops.
All we need to do is cross the county line and victory is mine, and nothing can stop us! Aw On the old western trail we'll be travelin' along # Ridin' dinos for justice While we're singin' this song 'Cause when good folks is threatened We'll be rightin' that wrong By returnin' their money And singing this Butt! Butt, butt, butt, butt Big butt, big butt Butt, butt, butt, butt Big butt, big butt That old corpse is washed up.
The best use for him is a human shield, or, if it comes to it, food.
That's a little extreme, Sosh.
He's not that bad.
What? It's breakfast time again? Penn, you got to ditch grandpa or we're not gonna make it to the county line.
All I ask is the gravy be gibletty! Sorry, Scaley, but we got to get that gold.
Well, I won't miss that.
_ Retiring.
Told you he's washed up.
Not retiring fired.
I was the town hero once when I was younger, but you get older, slower.
Now I'm the town joke.
That's why I'm here, get one last win, prove deep down, I'm still the hero I used to be.
Well, that's not happening.
- I'm with Boone, sorry, gramps.
- Come on, guys.
It's okay, son.
Maybe I could still help.
If them rustlers are heading for the county line, they'll have taken Gizzard Gulch.
To head 'em off, you ought to take Raptor Ridge.
Just out here, take a right at the rock that looks like a lady dinosaur.
Just leave me a dino and a carton of that there 'ceratops milk, help me get on home.
There is no logic to this creature! If I had a million dollars, know what I'd do? - We do have a million dollars, Larry - I would pay for everyone in the world to have their portrait painted.
I already did it for everyone on my block, and they were talking about it for months, especially the guy next door who was like, "I can't believe you did this.
" And I said, "Well, believe it, Frank, happy birthday.
" And he said, "It's not my birthday and my name's Linda.
" This isn't a short cut.
That old coot messed up again! I just want a chance to prove myself.
Make sure you take a right at the rock that looks like a lady dinosaur.
Leave me a dino, though.
He didn't mess up, he sent us the wrong way on purpose! Hello, county line.
That's far enough, partner.
- I'm sorry, and you are - Sheriff Scaley Briggs! Ooh, that's my hip.
Well, I still didn't catch the name, but see y'all later.
His name is Sheriff Scaley Briggs! And he is the hero 'round here.
The hero who should now stand up and do something heroic sooner rather than later.
So here's the cue Sheriff Scaley Briggs.
Ow! - He likes mine better.
- I'm not trying to get his attention.
I was trying to get theirs.
Ow! Hey, that's my back! I'm sorry I suggested we use you as a human shield - and or food.
- It's okay, I get that a lot.
- Thank you.
- You're the one who saved the day.
Like walls on an outhouse, four is better than three.
On the old western trail we'll be travelin' along Ridin' dinos for justice While we're singin' this song Ha-ha! 'Cause when good folks is threatened We'll be rightin' that wrong By returnin' their money, and singing this Butt! Butt, butt, butt, butt Big butt, big butt Butt, butt, butt, butt Big butt, big butt Big butt, big butt, big butt, big butt Butt butt, big butt, big butt, big butt