Personal Affairs (2009) s01e02 Episode Script
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Grace has vanished.
"Adam, be forever mine?" I think we've found Grace's mystery man.
We find Adam, we find Grace.
MOANING Midge, Nicole, this is my Bob.
I've got a kid.
And I've not seen her, not since she was two days old.
I'm going to propose you for the Associate position.
It's not official or anything but I've got the job.
I made a grave error.
Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? The money's practically in our pockets.
This time next week, there'll be no clients by the time we've pulled this off.
No-one will trust Hartmann Payne.
Tomorrow.
This programme contains strong language.
HEELS CLATTER HE CLEARS HIS THROA TELEPHONE RINGS We've all gotta be extra nice to Lucy to cos she's had a major trauma.
So, Rachel Klein tells her she's got the Associate job.
I wasn't expecting to get it.
So, then they find out she's preg Shit.
I won't tell anyone.
So then, they take the job back again! Hey.
Here, give us your jacket, sit yourself down, you can have my last Krispy Creme donut if you like Another word and I'm shredding your Big Brother application.
CLATTERING You think I'm crazy? I'm in no position to comment! Help me destroy Hartmann Payne.
I can't do it without you.
I can't even type.
You'd be there a week at most, just to do the transfers into Mum's account.
Then we withdraw the money and live happily ever after.
How do you know you can trust me? I know that I love you.
Race you to the sky! Monday, 15:10.
Grace goes for coffees.
She's not been seen since.
Monday night.
Cruella de Thrill sees Grace being dragged into a car by her mystery boyfriend.
Tues afternoon.
We discover the mystery boyfriend is Adam Hartmann, as in son of Hartmann Payne Chairman, Leo.
Except that Adam Hartmann killed himself in 1999.
Adam's body was never recovered.
So the question is, why did Adam Hartmann fake his own suicide? Midge, you said you knew him.
I met him at a party.
Years ago.
You shagged him! Well, I didn't know him.
Anyway, Dad said afterwards he was a bonkers psycho junkie.
You "midging" the truth? Honest, he was even in prison once, for GBH.
VOICES FROM OTHER ROOM .
.
19 years old and the ninth richest man in England.
Fortune estimated at 4.
3 billion.
4.
3 billion? Dominic Fitzwallace or "Fitz" as he likes to be called.
Father snuffed it last month and being the only child, he inherits the lot.
We'll be needing signatures on all the Fitzwallace transfers.
Oh, Fitz, the cash I've been searching for all my life.
You sure they'll all go at the same time? It's absolutely critical.
If we don't It'll be much easier to There are 48 transfers ready to go into your mother's account, at the push of a button.
Well, two buttons.
48 times 499,000, that's That's £23,952,000 to spend in Havana.
Looks like we're all set.
We shouldn't be talking like this, out in the open.
It's Grace Darling No, Darling's her surname.
14 Wychwood Way You gonna miss your friends? Well, if we ever come back to London, you can always visit them in Holloway.
Anyway, here's Rachel's painting.
All right.
Lucy! She knows we've met.
She'll think we're just saying hello.
That's all we're doing.
Did you get my text? Did Lucy catch you going through her phone book? I just wanted to say thank you.
You're very unusual.
I don't know many birds would let me off the hook.
But then I don't know many birds, who would have .
.
well, what you did was I've never felt like that before in my life, you know.
There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
Isn't it fatal to change a plan at the last minute? It's not a change, it's an innovation.
Dating back five months.
You'll notice the excellent use of nicknames.
"Midge, today's the day.
"Can't wait to take them bastards for every bleeding penny, Bax.
" Bax Sounds better in the accent.
I'll upload them last thing, just before I crash the servers.
I need to be out of here by 3:30.
It buys us time.
And if that lot get done, all the better.
They've done nothing wrong.
Are you questioning me? Crawford, the people here.
They're not stupid Leaping Lizards! I wanted to say thank you for listening yesterday.
You know, Adam Hartmann, my baby It's OK.
It's been this monster secret.
Honest to God, I feel like I've lost two stone since I told you.
And I meant it, I'm deffo gonna find her.
Right.
Sid? Don't say anything to the others.
Not yet.
Keep it in the vault, yeah? Yeah.
Are you sure you don't want it? Yeah, but thanks.
SHE SNIFFS Hmm.
I'm in Grace's profile, but I can't access anything.
Let me have a go.
Thanks.
About time you put your webstalking skills to good use.
"For The Love of Money" by The O'Jays Excuse me! You can't just go in there.
Aha, Fitz.
Someone is parked in my space.
Well, please accept our apologies.
Doris Sid.
Would you call Facilities Management and Fitz's driver.
Can my assistant fetch you a coffee? I'm into 40-year-old single malt.
Please see to that, Doris.
Wait! SHE WHIMPERS Lucy, I really am so terribly sorry about the Associate position.
What does Rachel expect me to say? No problemo? Any time you want to raise my hopes up and shatter, them, feel free? It's not Rachel's fault.
It's fate.
Something better will come along.
You've got your little one to look forward to.
Now they know I'm pregnant, I'll be written off.
I can't believe yesterday, I was complaining about all the options I had.
I didn't know how lucky I was.
So how's my new Associate? What? You, my friend, have got yourself a job.
I think you've made a mistake.
No.
No, one candidate pulled out, the other was worse than you and you're not in the picture now.
So it has to be you.
I can't believe it.
I've never been offered a job in my life.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS Ha ha Lucius, marvellous prank.
Prank? You, in the pudding club.
lain, I AM pregnant.
Oh.
But I'm only gonna take three months maternity.
Shame on you! What? Have you no feelings? No sensitivity? How could you dump such a life-changing bombshell on me so indelicately? But why should I matter? I can see you already love the child more than you love me.
How do you go from astronomer to banker? I sort of fell into it.
My father wouldn't allow me to study astronomy, you know, waste of time.
OK, that reminds me.
Something here Larids.
I saw this and I thought you might be interested.
Thank you.
Now, Doris, I see you put me in for a lunch in ten minutes From your mate Jeeves.
And the invoice.
We claim this under Client Entertainment.
Those models'll have no nostrils by the time you've finished with them! Oh, listen, tell me about Avi Gellman.
You know Avi?! He popped up to see Equities, Rock and I went to say hello.
.
Seems like a bright boy Mentioned you.
Avi Gellman was my childhood loveheart.
Loveheart? So, how's Evie and the kids? Fine.
How's my Andy Young portfolio coming along? Oh, shit! I'm sorry it's Grace.
I've been really busy trying to find You've been playing Miss Marple when I need you.
No, you don't understand.
She's been abducted by Adam Hartmann.
Is this some kind of morbid joke? No we found a photo of him at Grace's house, we think he's alive You stop this right now.
But it's true Midge, I married Evie a year after Adam killed himself and the family were still fucked about by it.
And for Evie, losing a twin.
They were twins? Was he mad, like everyone said? Midge, Adam is gone.
Now you promise me you'll let this go.
I promise.
You can uncross your fingers now.
Am I straight? That line was begging for a sarcastic response.
What on earth is wrong with you, woman? I'm tip top.
Lies.
Like the piccie? Each wing represents a year of our relationship.
Bloody awful, isn't it? But I love it because Susannah painted it.
Now tell me, how's Lucy? I've done something terrible.
Again? I shagged Lucy's husband.
Go on.
I'd absolutely no idea who he was.
It was meant to be nothing.
And I'd have told her as soon as I found out what a rat he is.
Only she's pregnant.
Good! What? Serves you right.
If you play with fire and fingers burnt, and so forth.
It pains me to witness your daily dilly-dallying with a host of inappropriates.
Here we go.
A loving, monogamous relationship equals true bliss.
Amor vincit omnia! Love doesn't exist.
OK, so you and Susannah are one in a million, a billion even.
And it rather helps there are no men involved.
Not every man is your father.
Oh, please, this is nothing to do with my father.
All men want is to own you.
And as soon as they get what they want, they're gone.
No-one will ever have that control over me.
Grab me a sandwich, will you? Sure.
Stop it! What? Staring.
I was wondering how that virginity was working out for you.
Why are you so obsessed with my sexuality? I don't know.
I don't think I've known anyone to desperate to cling to their childhood.
Ah, more free psychoanalysis.
Do continue.
Why are you so afraid of growing up? Is it choices, responsibility? Are you scared of getting old? It's like you know me better than I know myself.
You have all this pain, angst, inside you and it's screwing you up.
You tell me one thing, but your eyes very much tell me another.
Look, you've built yourself a cage.
I'm offering you the key.
If you decide to accept my help, all you have to do is say when.
One more for you to sign there, sir Very good.
Let me take those.
Managed to get hold of this Yeah! I'm terribly sorry, this must be such an ordeal for you.
How do you bear it? Begging your pardon? Well, your whole life is nothing but kissing gold-plated arse every day I enjoy my work.
Of course you do.
I take pride in it.
Pride? You're a professional leech.
Sucking your commission out of my money, while you watch me grow richer and richer So sorry.
You moron! Oh, please send someone to clear that up would you, Doris? That will be all.
Midge, I was in the middle of something I've not touched anything.
Just wanted see if there's anything interesting on Grace's desktop since you were using her log in.
I can log you in over there, if you want.
OK.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS Shit! Everything OK? My friend.
She's in trouble, way over her head.
She and her boyfriend had all these plans, but she doesn't want to any more.
Are we talking weird sex? No.
Why doesn't she just tell him she doesn't want to do whatever it is? That would be the ultimate betrayal.
He saved her life, really.
And she loves him.
He's her first ever boyfriend.
You never forget your first.
I mean I want to help, but should she betray him? What does he want her to do? What you asking us for? We all know you're the world expert on betrayal.
What? You were the one who told them I was pregnant, so you could steal my job! I didn't, I didn't even know.
Come on Bax, it so isn't Sid's fault she got the job.
Oh, hiya, sorry to call you out again, but the TVs are still on the blink.
Of course.
Oh, thank God.
I was literally about to transfer the money, but Midge was at my desk You know, I'm bluffing.
Just playing along with the whole Associate thing? Let's get married! Screw Havana.
Let's go to Vegas, go wild, honeymoon in Hawaii.
Make love on the beach all day.
But Crawford you can't You were right, what you said, you're a passionate woman, you deserve a proper relationship.
But your meds I came off them last night, I'm better again, I can feel it.
Crawford, before we do something that could fuck up the rest of our lives, why don't I take this Associate job? We could have an ordinary life.
Ordinary? The salary here, I'm sure it would be decent It's not about the money.
OK, maybe Rock deserves it.
But Midge and the others? Don't worry about them.
I love you so much, if I ever lost you .
.
I'd kill myself.
I have to get back.
I just wish I understood what I'd heard.
I don't wanna go flying in with accusations.
Do you think I should get more evidence first? Bob! What? I'm here.
What was I saying? They've shafted you, the Associates.
Blah blah blah.
Blah blah blah?! I didn't mean it like that.
I wasn't even talking about the job.
Yeah, I know.
That colour looks really nice on you.
Thanks.
Yeah, you look really glamorous.
Oh Thanks.
So, so have you heard any word from Grace? Em, no.
No word.
But none of you have any idea why she's gone? Boyfriend trouble.
Right.
Anyone we know? I doubt it.
Um, see ya.
See ya.
There you are! Prince Frankenstein rang.
What did he say? Has he made a decision? Is he signing with me? I missed the call.
What do you mean you missed the call? Where were you? On the other line to Richard.
What? He needs your guest list for the engagement do.
Badenstein's flying to New York now, I'll never get hold of him.
I promised him 24-7 care, Robbie, 24-7 fucking care! Jane, I can't believe you just did that.
Did what? Never in front of the girls? I was just I don't know what happened.
Nothing.
You're the terrifying top bird you always are, just a bit knacked, that's all.
Is this geezer really worth it? If I poach him off Porrits, the Prince'll generate more income than all of Simon's clients combined.
I'd have really made it.
OK.
You know that bacon sarnie you told me not to buy you? Well, it's deffo not sitting on your desk waiting for you to eat it.
Hope you poisoned it, mate.
Dad! You all right? Yeah, you This for me? Salt beef! This looks great! Don't tell your mother.
She's got me on a green day, red day.
So, any Hong Kong Phooey action today? Action, schmaction So, what do you want? Nothing.
I need to ask you.
I've been I'm sorry I've been thinking about her.
Please, don't torture yourself.
Dad, I want to find her.
The name of the adoption agency.
It's nine years ago, I don't remember.
How can you forget something that? You'll get hurt.
I can't bear it.
And besides, your mother'll have a That's what this is about.
You don't care about me, you're just scared of her.
I'm not 14 any more, Dad.
You can't force me to do anything.
Midge! Midge! So if you have any questions, Fitz, please don't hesitate to call.
Leo has lunch arranged for you in the Penthouse.
Would you like Doris to show you? How can you let him treat you like that? Comes with the job.
Money brings out strange things in a man.
I like to divide my clients into types of cheese.
There are the aged cheddars who are mean and inflexible.
The Gorgonzola Dolces who luxuriate in their wealth.
While others are cottage cheese Money curdles their brains.
There's nothing in any of these.
I know, I can't find Grace's anything.
I've called IT.
Shit! Everything is so shit right now.
Not everything.
At least you've got Bob.
Oh, no what's wrong with Bob? I think he might be having an affair.
Don't be soft! He didn't listen to a word I said just now.
Why on earth would that mean he's having an affair? It's not just that.
It was last night.
When we, you know? He closed his eyes.
So? He never closes his eyes.
He's a very visual person.
And it just, it felt like it wasn't me he was with, like it was someone else.
Look, men fantasize about other women all the time.
This was different.
Nic, I'm going to lunch with him, later, will you come too? Why? You can tell me if you think he's playing away.
How could I? You've done it with your other mates before.
You told me.
Please.
OK.
You OK? Yeah, I'm fine, I'm getting married soon, I'm over the moon! In fact, let's have a drink tonight, celebrate our good news.
Sorry, I have actually got plans, but thank you.
You should be careful what you throw away in the bins here.
Never know what people might find.
Jane.
I'm in a hurry.
I just wanted to say thanks for ruining my life.
You do that well yourself.
Look at you.
There's nothing wrong with the way I look.
How can you think anyone'll take you seriously? You might have some mathematical ability, but you're no player.
That ain't true.
Lucy, look me in the eye and tell me that you've really got what it takes to break that glass ceiling.
ERROR ALERT SOUNDS Agh! Must've pushed the wrong button.
What're you trying to do? I'll call Crawford.
Who's Crawford? I meant IT.
Crawford's just the name on this account.
Rock asked me to print this off, but I think I deactivated it.
Easily fixed.
You just need Rock's login.
I can't I can't say that I made a mistake.
This is a disaster.
Come on.
Are you sure this is right? Mairhi Crawford's been archived a while.
Positive.
Anyways, you're all reactivated.
Great.
I spoke to him, you know? Dad.
About the baby.
He refused to help.
He's such a coward.
Right.
And I feel guilty cos I wanna find Adam cos of Grace but I don't wanna find him cos I don't know how I'll feel if I see him again.
Thanks for listening.
Your lunch? You had the time wrong.
Oh.
And the venue wrong.
Oh.
Grace would never have let that happen.
Crawford? She been in touch? No, I was just Checking the alphabetising of the archive records.
Oh.
Ah, right.
Well, OK.
You hear from her, I wanna know.
Important client? She was.
She was.
Used to bring her son in.
Loved the high risk, high return market.
Unfortunately a business I advised her on bombed.
She lost everything.
That's terrible.
Doris, it's the best and worst part of this job, taking risks on another's behalf.
When you get it right, which I do almost always, it's invigorating.
But when you get it wrong If only I could turn back time on that one.
Perhaps you should have a word with Stephen Hawking.
Never did go for his chronology protection conjecture.
Me neither.
Too much like predestination.
Always more than one possible future.
Midge, I don't remember the agency, really.
Leave it alone, sweetheart.
Talya's in a good home.
My baby's called Talya Your arse, terrace - now! Oh, my friend, she's in trouble, blah blah blah It's true, my friend, Emily.
Emily.
Bronte.
I heard you and Mr Kosher.
And now I've got the proof.
No, you've got it wrong.
Stitch this bloody company up, like I care, but you're not stitching me and the girls up.
I didn't know about that.
I haven't even done anything yet.
Except set up 48 transactions! When I was talking before, the whole "my friend" thing, yes, it was lame, but you heard me say it, I want out.
I swear to you.
Please! Lucky for you, I'm not a grass.
You undo what you've done, get the hell out and don't come back.
Thank you.
TELEPHONE RINGS Are you retarded? I beg your pardon? I've just passed a very pleasant lunch hour with your Chairman.
He really is a spectacular schmoozer.
So imagine my disappointment when I find out my driver's been circling the City for two hours and is stuck in traffic 15 minutes away.
The parking space, I'm so sorry.
What else do you have to do all day? You clearly spend no time on your appearance.
Actually by the looks of that moustache, I can't imagine how hairy your bush is.
Please, you really can't talk to her like that.
Ah, did I offend Snow White? You don't fool me.
You love it, don't you, bouncing away on top, screaming like a chimp.
How dare you, who do you think you are? What have we here? A 100% Essex slag.
I'm wondering how many fingers I could fit up you.
You seem to be labouring under a misapprehension.
None of us are interested in fucking you.
So please go.
He called me an Essex slag.
He what? And don't go sorting him out though, he's an important client.
So what did he say to you then? He didn't have time.
Nicole came out with this killer line and he was gone.
Must have been some line.
She has this effect on men.
Guys, really late I'm sorry, I need to catch Rachel before her two o'clock.
OK, see you up there.
She's great, isn't she? Yeah, she is.
Transfers are, well they're password protected.
Rock's the only one knows the password and why would he tell me? This is bullshit.
There's no password.
You're making this up.
I'm not.
Which one, was it, got to you? No-one.
You must have talked to one of them.
I didn't, I swear.
I tried it, I tried the transfer but and didn't work.
So, I'll just delete the set up transactions and no-one will know.
You stupid bitch! Oh, fuck.
So, what you gonna wear for the party? I'm gagging for a new dress, but all my cards are maxed out.
You should so get to the charity shop? I got this there.
How do you do that? When I go in it's always granny shirts and tweed.
Are you OK? Yeah, yeah.
Thanks.
You are gonna take the job, aren't you? Well, there's stuff to sort out.
But yes, I'm going to try and make it work.
Good on you.
Hiya.
Somebody logged a call? Yeah, sorry.
That was me.
We'll have to get you a desk in here! We need to get in to Grace's profile, but it seems to have completely vanished.
Sorry I made you sit through lunch.
I feel such an idiot.
It's fine, isn't it? I mean, Bob.
It is, isn't it? You're fine.
This is our section.
You'll be right up there but Robbie'll sort you out with a desk.
Avi! What's going on? Avi is our new Associate.
Another one? Well, no actually.
But you said.
You told me.
I only found out an hour ago that he was being going to be considered.
So that's it, then.
Don't worry.
We'll come up with plan B.
I already have a plan B.
Avi Avi Avi, oy oy oy! Haven't heard that in a while.
So, how have you been? Good, yeah.
Ten years worth of headlines, moved to Camden as you know, dad's still Rabbi at the shul there, then two years at Yeshiva in Jerusalem.
You should talk to Haniel.
The Haredi guy from your office, with the beard Yeah, he works in IT.
Is he deaf? No.
I don't think he's Jewish.
Certainly not frum.
He didn't even know what a Minyan was.
Avi Gellman, I'm Jewish and I've no idea what you're talking about.
Yeah but he should because he's Just watch him.
So, tell me about you.
I'm going to be famous.
Why? Are you kidding me? Who doesn't want to be famous? Well, why do you want to be famous? I want everyone to know my name.
And what's your name going to stand for? I dunno.
Fabulousness? I did write.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I just got caught up in stuff.
It's really lovely to see you.
She appears to have deleted her emails, diary.
What, deliberately? Looks like it.
Grace got rid of everything on Monday before she disappeared.
Maybe she doesn't want us to find her.
Oh, my God her zipmail log-in's saved! You'll have to guess her password.
Adam Hartmann.
Hartmann.
Adam.
I should go and clear my desk.
Half an hour, then it's server crash time, pick up Mum, go to the bank and I'll see you at Terminal Three.
Your mum? Already complaining about the heat and her ankles.
She's coming with us? I can't leave her behind.
And you didn't think to tell me this these last six months? She'll be no trouble.
She'll be how she used to be in no time.
Great.
It's all great.
Hasta la vista, baby.
Just call me Inspector Midget.
I can think of so many better names than that.
Yeah, well Mrs Sarky Posh Chops.
I'm in Grace's Zipmail.
You bloody genius.
I tried all our names, and it was JANE.
So this is her inbox.
Couple of spam Ooh, "Set Your Metabolism On Fire.
" Midge! Sorry.
Nothing before Monday.
She's wiped the lot.
Damn! Let me just check her sent mail.
Lots of people forget to delete those.
294 to Adam Hartmann.
Open one! Oh, my God, we're stalking Grace! "Adam, I've moved on, just let me live my life.
" "Adam, I can't take this any more, this is torture.
" Oh, my God times by 50.
That's just what she said when I heard her on the phone to him.
"I'm scared of you, of what you might do.
" Ladies, will somebody enlighten me.
Excuse me? Fitz says that unless I fire you all, he'll leave us and sign with Porrits.
What? You should have heard him.
He said Sid had a moustache.
He said what? Of course I won't be firing you but if we lose the Fitzwallace account, there'll be an enquiry, then it's out of my hands.
This is bad, bad business.
DOOR SLAMS I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I've fucked everything up.
Don't, it's not your fault.
Fitz is a tosser.
We'll sort it out, we always do.
No, you don't understand.
I've just stolen £23 million and you're going to get the blame.
Excuse me.
We both know that's not true, don't we? Who are you? You wanna know who I am? I don't believe this.
I trusted you.
I can't believe you went ahead with it, after everything you said to me.
So who the hell is he? His real name is Crawford.
The Mairhi Crawford account! He's her son.
I met him.
Go on.
I met him in hospital.
What, were you sick? Yes, no.
Look a lots of things happened.
And I tried to kill myself, OK? I was in hospital for a while after and so was he.
We were in love.
Love.
The root of all evil.
No-one had ever loved me like that before.
It felt nice.
He told me about this evil man called Rock Van Gelder who'd shafted his mother and ruined their lives.
And he wanted revenge and take back what was hers.
And it all seemed so simple.
I'm so sorry.
Don't be.
You only tried to implicate us in massive fraud while you sat there, like Minstrels wouldn't melt.
I tried to get out of it, he wouldn't let me.
Oh, my God, he hit you! Bastard.
Would you excuse us a moment, please.
I think we should help her.
She tried to get us sent to prison! What if she tries to top herself again? GROANING OK, love, what's his plan? In half an hour, Crawford's going to crash the servers, then he'll go to the bank, then fly to Cuba.
Shit, that's not very much time.
We need to get the money out.
By the time he gets to the bank, he'll know the money's gone.
So we have to stop him getting there.
There must be a way.
Oh, my God.
What happened? Avi seems to think you might know what's going on.
Nicole, may I borrow you for a moment? How can I help? Fitz has just called to say he will reconsider leaving Hartmann Payne, if you agree to spend 15 minutes with him right away.
Now, I would never condone No problem.
Oh.
Wouldn't want to let the client down.
I truly admire your dedication.
Thank you, thank you.
Jesus, thank you! It's a tragic tale of forbidden love between a Muslim and an Orthodox Jew.
Sid and Haniel have been trying to keep their burning passion a secret.
Except since he met Avi, he's been paranoid that his family are going to find out about his secret.
Eh? Right.
Yeah, fine.
Whatever you say.
You should see a doctor, mate.
Oh, poor love, I'm sorry you got dragged into this.
I'll explain everything as soon as Simon stops his hoverage.
Why did Simon have to find out about Crawford? He's going to phone the police.
And say what? All he knows is that Crawford punched Avi and you lied about him being deaf.
Simon would never call the police.
He's professor of dodgy dealings.
What have we got to lose? Simon, we need your help.
Please.
You tell me the truth, I'll see what I can do.
Oh, thanks, Simon.
Lucy, my office.
God, you're beautiful.
You wanted me? From the very first moment I saw you.
How old are you, 18, 19? You're a child.
You see this? This is a Breguet watch, worth £880,000.
Is that supposed to impress me? Yes.
No.
It's been a pleasure.
.
Wait Just, please.
May I talk to you honestly? Please.
Last week, I took the daughter of a senior Cabinet minister to a party.
And then I fucked her best friend in the cloakroom while she stood and watched.
She still came home with me that night.
Fascinating.
I'm bored of idiots who will do anything to become Mrs Fitzwallace.
It surprised me before.
I'll give you £1 million to sleep with me.
Only one million? Demi Moore got that 20 years ago.
Here's some homework for you.
See if you can come up with something to prove to me you're a man and not a boy, then I'll consider it.
They've been in there ages.
It's going to be too late.
Oh, nuts! My computer's crashed.
That's it! Crawford's crashed the servers.
Oh, God, he's gonna be leaving the building any minute.
Are you all ready for your big adventure? Don't fuck it up.
Right, you stay put.
You two, move it.
I love you too.
Haniel! Do you mind if I ask you something? What? It's just you're the only one who'll be able to help.
I'm feeling my life is empty and I wanted to find out more about Judaism.
Tell her, Haniel, a religious life is not for her.
But I need to know what it's like being ultra-Orthodox.
This is just a reaction to a bad break up.
Is it brilliant? Do you have inner peace? Please, Haniel, I need your help.
Tell her, there is no sex before marriage.
Erm, yeah, you should speak to a rabbi.
Right, thanks.
Mum! It's almost time.
Mum? We've £23 million! Mairhi Crawford's account's empty.
All the money's back where it belongs.
I cannot believe I am helping this company.
What if the police don't get to him before he gets to the bank? What the fuck! SIRENS WAIL We should have heard something.
Why haven't we heard anything? Simon's on the phone, he'll have news any sec.
Come on mate, why don't you help me look through Grace's emails.
What's Divalia? You mean Diwalia? It was a Roman festival, in honour of Voluptia, goddess of pleasure.
Crawford's been arrested.
Oh, thank God! You're OK.
KNOCK ON DOOR Are you OK? I thought he was the answer.
I don't know what to do now.
Why don't you stay here, till you sort yourself out? You have been a bit of muppet, for a bird with a "first from Oxford".
Nicole.
Thank you.
Fitz just informed me he's staying at Hartmann Payne.
He said to tell you, he decided to do the mature thing and forgive you all.
'Hello, Divalia Members Club.
' Hello.
'Grace? Oh, thank God.
'We haven't been able to get hold of you.
' I've been terribly busy.
Work, work, work, you know.
'Listen your package has arrived, finally.
' What a relief.
Whatever happened to it? 'The new drugs were impounded at Dover, but Jeeves pulled some strings.
'Are you coming to collect it?' No, I'm too busy here, could you possibly send it over to me? 'Sure.
' Thank you.
I've got a lead, I've got a lead on Grace.
What's this package Grace is meant to be picking up from there? Hey, birds.
Fancy a party tonight? Thought you could borrow your mum's car and drive us.
No, she doesn't.
Carry on.
The woman said something about drugs.
And a bloke called Jeeves, which must be the same Jeeves as Simon's dealer.
I know Jeeves.
Jane signed him last week.
Drugs? Grace? No way.
It's always the ones you least expect, innit? Is there a good reason why I'm breathing the same air as you? Your loss.
I'll be back in a sec.
MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES You OK? I just got a text from Bob.
"I know it's wrong, but I can't stop thinking about your legs.
" Why would that be wrong? Because you're pregnant? No, that don't make sense.
This can't be meant for me.
Just say when.
When.
You might want a bit more than that after the day you've had.
When.
Just ask Bob direct.
I'm sure it's nothing.
You're not going out with Fitz? Yes.
But he's the devil.
Of course he is.
That's why it will give me even more pleasure to extract as much cash from him as possible.
And it'll take my mind off Grace.
The police are coming tomorrow at two.
I can't.
MOBILE CONTINUES TO VIBRATE What? "Keep looking for Grace and you'll never see her again.
" Adam Hartmann.
How does he know what we're doing? Let's not panic.
Shit, shit, shit.
From Adam Hartmann.
"Keep looking for Grace and you'll never see her again.
" Midge, this package, why is it addressed to all of us? In memorium? What the fuck.
Divalia? Surely you've enough money to get us in there? Well, of course I fucking have.
Grace? Here, no way.
Amber? Meet your father.
It isn't mine.
One of my deranged stalkers, just call security, would you? We won't be having sex again.
Right.
I swear, on my baby's life, I have never cheated on you.
Me and you.
It's more than just happy ever after.
That's her, that's your daughter.
"Adam, be forever mine?" I think we've found Grace's mystery man.
We find Adam, we find Grace.
MOANING Midge, Nicole, this is my Bob.
I've got a kid.
And I've not seen her, not since she was two days old.
I'm going to propose you for the Associate position.
It's not official or anything but I've got the job.
I made a grave error.
Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? The money's practically in our pockets.
This time next week, there'll be no clients by the time we've pulled this off.
No-one will trust Hartmann Payne.
Tomorrow.
This programme contains strong language.
HEELS CLATTER HE CLEARS HIS THROA TELEPHONE RINGS We've all gotta be extra nice to Lucy to cos she's had a major trauma.
So, Rachel Klein tells her she's got the Associate job.
I wasn't expecting to get it.
So, then they find out she's preg Shit.
I won't tell anyone.
So then, they take the job back again! Hey.
Here, give us your jacket, sit yourself down, you can have my last Krispy Creme donut if you like Another word and I'm shredding your Big Brother application.
CLATTERING You think I'm crazy? I'm in no position to comment! Help me destroy Hartmann Payne.
I can't do it without you.
I can't even type.
You'd be there a week at most, just to do the transfers into Mum's account.
Then we withdraw the money and live happily ever after.
How do you know you can trust me? I know that I love you.
Race you to the sky! Monday, 15:10.
Grace goes for coffees.
She's not been seen since.
Monday night.
Cruella de Thrill sees Grace being dragged into a car by her mystery boyfriend.
Tues afternoon.
We discover the mystery boyfriend is Adam Hartmann, as in son of Hartmann Payne Chairman, Leo.
Except that Adam Hartmann killed himself in 1999.
Adam's body was never recovered.
So the question is, why did Adam Hartmann fake his own suicide? Midge, you said you knew him.
I met him at a party.
Years ago.
You shagged him! Well, I didn't know him.
Anyway, Dad said afterwards he was a bonkers psycho junkie.
You "midging" the truth? Honest, he was even in prison once, for GBH.
VOICES FROM OTHER ROOM .
.
19 years old and the ninth richest man in England.
Fortune estimated at 4.
3 billion.
4.
3 billion? Dominic Fitzwallace or "Fitz" as he likes to be called.
Father snuffed it last month and being the only child, he inherits the lot.
We'll be needing signatures on all the Fitzwallace transfers.
Oh, Fitz, the cash I've been searching for all my life.
You sure they'll all go at the same time? It's absolutely critical.
If we don't It'll be much easier to There are 48 transfers ready to go into your mother's account, at the push of a button.
Well, two buttons.
48 times 499,000, that's That's £23,952,000 to spend in Havana.
Looks like we're all set.
We shouldn't be talking like this, out in the open.
It's Grace Darling No, Darling's her surname.
14 Wychwood Way You gonna miss your friends? Well, if we ever come back to London, you can always visit them in Holloway.
Anyway, here's Rachel's painting.
All right.
Lucy! She knows we've met.
She'll think we're just saying hello.
That's all we're doing.
Did you get my text? Did Lucy catch you going through her phone book? I just wanted to say thank you.
You're very unusual.
I don't know many birds would let me off the hook.
But then I don't know many birds, who would have .
.
well, what you did was I've never felt like that before in my life, you know.
There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
Isn't it fatal to change a plan at the last minute? It's not a change, it's an innovation.
Dating back five months.
You'll notice the excellent use of nicknames.
"Midge, today's the day.
"Can't wait to take them bastards for every bleeding penny, Bax.
" Bax Sounds better in the accent.
I'll upload them last thing, just before I crash the servers.
I need to be out of here by 3:30.
It buys us time.
And if that lot get done, all the better.
They've done nothing wrong.
Are you questioning me? Crawford, the people here.
They're not stupid Leaping Lizards! I wanted to say thank you for listening yesterday.
You know, Adam Hartmann, my baby It's OK.
It's been this monster secret.
Honest to God, I feel like I've lost two stone since I told you.
And I meant it, I'm deffo gonna find her.
Right.
Sid? Don't say anything to the others.
Not yet.
Keep it in the vault, yeah? Yeah.
Are you sure you don't want it? Yeah, but thanks.
SHE SNIFFS Hmm.
I'm in Grace's profile, but I can't access anything.
Let me have a go.
Thanks.
About time you put your webstalking skills to good use.
"For The Love of Money" by The O'Jays Excuse me! You can't just go in there.
Aha, Fitz.
Someone is parked in my space.
Well, please accept our apologies.
Doris Sid.
Would you call Facilities Management and Fitz's driver.
Can my assistant fetch you a coffee? I'm into 40-year-old single malt.
Please see to that, Doris.
Wait! SHE WHIMPERS Lucy, I really am so terribly sorry about the Associate position.
What does Rachel expect me to say? No problemo? Any time you want to raise my hopes up and shatter, them, feel free? It's not Rachel's fault.
It's fate.
Something better will come along.
You've got your little one to look forward to.
Now they know I'm pregnant, I'll be written off.
I can't believe yesterday, I was complaining about all the options I had.
I didn't know how lucky I was.
So how's my new Associate? What? You, my friend, have got yourself a job.
I think you've made a mistake.
No.
No, one candidate pulled out, the other was worse than you and you're not in the picture now.
So it has to be you.
I can't believe it.
I've never been offered a job in my life.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS Ha ha Lucius, marvellous prank.
Prank? You, in the pudding club.
lain, I AM pregnant.
Oh.
But I'm only gonna take three months maternity.
Shame on you! What? Have you no feelings? No sensitivity? How could you dump such a life-changing bombshell on me so indelicately? But why should I matter? I can see you already love the child more than you love me.
How do you go from astronomer to banker? I sort of fell into it.
My father wouldn't allow me to study astronomy, you know, waste of time.
OK, that reminds me.
Something here Larids.
I saw this and I thought you might be interested.
Thank you.
Now, Doris, I see you put me in for a lunch in ten minutes From your mate Jeeves.
And the invoice.
We claim this under Client Entertainment.
Those models'll have no nostrils by the time you've finished with them! Oh, listen, tell me about Avi Gellman.
You know Avi?! He popped up to see Equities, Rock and I went to say hello.
.
Seems like a bright boy Mentioned you.
Avi Gellman was my childhood loveheart.
Loveheart? So, how's Evie and the kids? Fine.
How's my Andy Young portfolio coming along? Oh, shit! I'm sorry it's Grace.
I've been really busy trying to find You've been playing Miss Marple when I need you.
No, you don't understand.
She's been abducted by Adam Hartmann.
Is this some kind of morbid joke? No we found a photo of him at Grace's house, we think he's alive You stop this right now.
But it's true Midge, I married Evie a year after Adam killed himself and the family were still fucked about by it.
And for Evie, losing a twin.
They were twins? Was he mad, like everyone said? Midge, Adam is gone.
Now you promise me you'll let this go.
I promise.
You can uncross your fingers now.
Am I straight? That line was begging for a sarcastic response.
What on earth is wrong with you, woman? I'm tip top.
Lies.
Like the piccie? Each wing represents a year of our relationship.
Bloody awful, isn't it? But I love it because Susannah painted it.
Now tell me, how's Lucy? I've done something terrible.
Again? I shagged Lucy's husband.
Go on.
I'd absolutely no idea who he was.
It was meant to be nothing.
And I'd have told her as soon as I found out what a rat he is.
Only she's pregnant.
Good! What? Serves you right.
If you play with fire and fingers burnt, and so forth.
It pains me to witness your daily dilly-dallying with a host of inappropriates.
Here we go.
A loving, monogamous relationship equals true bliss.
Amor vincit omnia! Love doesn't exist.
OK, so you and Susannah are one in a million, a billion even.
And it rather helps there are no men involved.
Not every man is your father.
Oh, please, this is nothing to do with my father.
All men want is to own you.
And as soon as they get what they want, they're gone.
No-one will ever have that control over me.
Grab me a sandwich, will you? Sure.
Stop it! What? Staring.
I was wondering how that virginity was working out for you.
Why are you so obsessed with my sexuality? I don't know.
I don't think I've known anyone to desperate to cling to their childhood.
Ah, more free psychoanalysis.
Do continue.
Why are you so afraid of growing up? Is it choices, responsibility? Are you scared of getting old? It's like you know me better than I know myself.
You have all this pain, angst, inside you and it's screwing you up.
You tell me one thing, but your eyes very much tell me another.
Look, you've built yourself a cage.
I'm offering you the key.
If you decide to accept my help, all you have to do is say when.
One more for you to sign there, sir Very good.
Let me take those.
Managed to get hold of this Yeah! I'm terribly sorry, this must be such an ordeal for you.
How do you bear it? Begging your pardon? Well, your whole life is nothing but kissing gold-plated arse every day I enjoy my work.
Of course you do.
I take pride in it.
Pride? You're a professional leech.
Sucking your commission out of my money, while you watch me grow richer and richer So sorry.
You moron! Oh, please send someone to clear that up would you, Doris? That will be all.
Midge, I was in the middle of something I've not touched anything.
Just wanted see if there's anything interesting on Grace's desktop since you were using her log in.
I can log you in over there, if you want.
OK.
MOBILE PHONE RINGS Shit! Everything OK? My friend.
She's in trouble, way over her head.
She and her boyfriend had all these plans, but she doesn't want to any more.
Are we talking weird sex? No.
Why doesn't she just tell him she doesn't want to do whatever it is? That would be the ultimate betrayal.
He saved her life, really.
And she loves him.
He's her first ever boyfriend.
You never forget your first.
I mean I want to help, but should she betray him? What does he want her to do? What you asking us for? We all know you're the world expert on betrayal.
What? You were the one who told them I was pregnant, so you could steal my job! I didn't, I didn't even know.
Come on Bax, it so isn't Sid's fault she got the job.
Oh, hiya, sorry to call you out again, but the TVs are still on the blink.
Of course.
Oh, thank God.
I was literally about to transfer the money, but Midge was at my desk You know, I'm bluffing.
Just playing along with the whole Associate thing? Let's get married! Screw Havana.
Let's go to Vegas, go wild, honeymoon in Hawaii.
Make love on the beach all day.
But Crawford you can't You were right, what you said, you're a passionate woman, you deserve a proper relationship.
But your meds I came off them last night, I'm better again, I can feel it.
Crawford, before we do something that could fuck up the rest of our lives, why don't I take this Associate job? We could have an ordinary life.
Ordinary? The salary here, I'm sure it would be decent It's not about the money.
OK, maybe Rock deserves it.
But Midge and the others? Don't worry about them.
I love you so much, if I ever lost you .
.
I'd kill myself.
I have to get back.
I just wish I understood what I'd heard.
I don't wanna go flying in with accusations.
Do you think I should get more evidence first? Bob! What? I'm here.
What was I saying? They've shafted you, the Associates.
Blah blah blah.
Blah blah blah?! I didn't mean it like that.
I wasn't even talking about the job.
Yeah, I know.
That colour looks really nice on you.
Thanks.
Yeah, you look really glamorous.
Oh Thanks.
So, so have you heard any word from Grace? Em, no.
No word.
But none of you have any idea why she's gone? Boyfriend trouble.
Right.
Anyone we know? I doubt it.
Um, see ya.
See ya.
There you are! Prince Frankenstein rang.
What did he say? Has he made a decision? Is he signing with me? I missed the call.
What do you mean you missed the call? Where were you? On the other line to Richard.
What? He needs your guest list for the engagement do.
Badenstein's flying to New York now, I'll never get hold of him.
I promised him 24-7 care, Robbie, 24-7 fucking care! Jane, I can't believe you just did that.
Did what? Never in front of the girls? I was just I don't know what happened.
Nothing.
You're the terrifying top bird you always are, just a bit knacked, that's all.
Is this geezer really worth it? If I poach him off Porrits, the Prince'll generate more income than all of Simon's clients combined.
I'd have really made it.
OK.
You know that bacon sarnie you told me not to buy you? Well, it's deffo not sitting on your desk waiting for you to eat it.
Hope you poisoned it, mate.
Dad! You all right? Yeah, you This for me? Salt beef! This looks great! Don't tell your mother.
She's got me on a green day, red day.
So, any Hong Kong Phooey action today? Action, schmaction So, what do you want? Nothing.
I need to ask you.
I've been I'm sorry I've been thinking about her.
Please, don't torture yourself.
Dad, I want to find her.
The name of the adoption agency.
It's nine years ago, I don't remember.
How can you forget something that? You'll get hurt.
I can't bear it.
And besides, your mother'll have a That's what this is about.
You don't care about me, you're just scared of her.
I'm not 14 any more, Dad.
You can't force me to do anything.
Midge! Midge! So if you have any questions, Fitz, please don't hesitate to call.
Leo has lunch arranged for you in the Penthouse.
Would you like Doris to show you? How can you let him treat you like that? Comes with the job.
Money brings out strange things in a man.
I like to divide my clients into types of cheese.
There are the aged cheddars who are mean and inflexible.
The Gorgonzola Dolces who luxuriate in their wealth.
While others are cottage cheese Money curdles their brains.
There's nothing in any of these.
I know, I can't find Grace's anything.
I've called IT.
Shit! Everything is so shit right now.
Not everything.
At least you've got Bob.
Oh, no what's wrong with Bob? I think he might be having an affair.
Don't be soft! He didn't listen to a word I said just now.
Why on earth would that mean he's having an affair? It's not just that.
It was last night.
When we, you know? He closed his eyes.
So? He never closes his eyes.
He's a very visual person.
And it just, it felt like it wasn't me he was with, like it was someone else.
Look, men fantasize about other women all the time.
This was different.
Nic, I'm going to lunch with him, later, will you come too? Why? You can tell me if you think he's playing away.
How could I? You've done it with your other mates before.
You told me.
Please.
OK.
You OK? Yeah, I'm fine, I'm getting married soon, I'm over the moon! In fact, let's have a drink tonight, celebrate our good news.
Sorry, I have actually got plans, but thank you.
You should be careful what you throw away in the bins here.
Never know what people might find.
Jane.
I'm in a hurry.
I just wanted to say thanks for ruining my life.
You do that well yourself.
Look at you.
There's nothing wrong with the way I look.
How can you think anyone'll take you seriously? You might have some mathematical ability, but you're no player.
That ain't true.
Lucy, look me in the eye and tell me that you've really got what it takes to break that glass ceiling.
ERROR ALERT SOUNDS Agh! Must've pushed the wrong button.
What're you trying to do? I'll call Crawford.
Who's Crawford? I meant IT.
Crawford's just the name on this account.
Rock asked me to print this off, but I think I deactivated it.
Easily fixed.
You just need Rock's login.
I can't I can't say that I made a mistake.
This is a disaster.
Come on.
Are you sure this is right? Mairhi Crawford's been archived a while.
Positive.
Anyways, you're all reactivated.
Great.
I spoke to him, you know? Dad.
About the baby.
He refused to help.
He's such a coward.
Right.
And I feel guilty cos I wanna find Adam cos of Grace but I don't wanna find him cos I don't know how I'll feel if I see him again.
Thanks for listening.
Your lunch? You had the time wrong.
Oh.
And the venue wrong.
Oh.
Grace would never have let that happen.
Crawford? She been in touch? No, I was just Checking the alphabetising of the archive records.
Oh.
Ah, right.
Well, OK.
You hear from her, I wanna know.
Important client? She was.
She was.
Used to bring her son in.
Loved the high risk, high return market.
Unfortunately a business I advised her on bombed.
She lost everything.
That's terrible.
Doris, it's the best and worst part of this job, taking risks on another's behalf.
When you get it right, which I do almost always, it's invigorating.
But when you get it wrong If only I could turn back time on that one.
Perhaps you should have a word with Stephen Hawking.
Never did go for his chronology protection conjecture.
Me neither.
Too much like predestination.
Always more than one possible future.
Midge, I don't remember the agency, really.
Leave it alone, sweetheart.
Talya's in a good home.
My baby's called Talya Your arse, terrace - now! Oh, my friend, she's in trouble, blah blah blah It's true, my friend, Emily.
Emily.
Bronte.
I heard you and Mr Kosher.
And now I've got the proof.
No, you've got it wrong.
Stitch this bloody company up, like I care, but you're not stitching me and the girls up.
I didn't know about that.
I haven't even done anything yet.
Except set up 48 transactions! When I was talking before, the whole "my friend" thing, yes, it was lame, but you heard me say it, I want out.
I swear to you.
Please! Lucky for you, I'm not a grass.
You undo what you've done, get the hell out and don't come back.
Thank you.
TELEPHONE RINGS Are you retarded? I beg your pardon? I've just passed a very pleasant lunch hour with your Chairman.
He really is a spectacular schmoozer.
So imagine my disappointment when I find out my driver's been circling the City for two hours and is stuck in traffic 15 minutes away.
The parking space, I'm so sorry.
What else do you have to do all day? You clearly spend no time on your appearance.
Actually by the looks of that moustache, I can't imagine how hairy your bush is.
Please, you really can't talk to her like that.
Ah, did I offend Snow White? You don't fool me.
You love it, don't you, bouncing away on top, screaming like a chimp.
How dare you, who do you think you are? What have we here? A 100% Essex slag.
I'm wondering how many fingers I could fit up you.
You seem to be labouring under a misapprehension.
None of us are interested in fucking you.
So please go.
He called me an Essex slag.
He what? And don't go sorting him out though, he's an important client.
So what did he say to you then? He didn't have time.
Nicole came out with this killer line and he was gone.
Must have been some line.
She has this effect on men.
Guys, really late I'm sorry, I need to catch Rachel before her two o'clock.
OK, see you up there.
She's great, isn't she? Yeah, she is.
Transfers are, well they're password protected.
Rock's the only one knows the password and why would he tell me? This is bullshit.
There's no password.
You're making this up.
I'm not.
Which one, was it, got to you? No-one.
You must have talked to one of them.
I didn't, I swear.
I tried it, I tried the transfer but and didn't work.
So, I'll just delete the set up transactions and no-one will know.
You stupid bitch! Oh, fuck.
So, what you gonna wear for the party? I'm gagging for a new dress, but all my cards are maxed out.
You should so get to the charity shop? I got this there.
How do you do that? When I go in it's always granny shirts and tweed.
Are you OK? Yeah, yeah.
Thanks.
You are gonna take the job, aren't you? Well, there's stuff to sort out.
But yes, I'm going to try and make it work.
Good on you.
Hiya.
Somebody logged a call? Yeah, sorry.
That was me.
We'll have to get you a desk in here! We need to get in to Grace's profile, but it seems to have completely vanished.
Sorry I made you sit through lunch.
I feel such an idiot.
It's fine, isn't it? I mean, Bob.
It is, isn't it? You're fine.
This is our section.
You'll be right up there but Robbie'll sort you out with a desk.
Avi! What's going on? Avi is our new Associate.
Another one? Well, no actually.
But you said.
You told me.
I only found out an hour ago that he was being going to be considered.
So that's it, then.
Don't worry.
We'll come up with plan B.
I already have a plan B.
Avi Avi Avi, oy oy oy! Haven't heard that in a while.
So, how have you been? Good, yeah.
Ten years worth of headlines, moved to Camden as you know, dad's still Rabbi at the shul there, then two years at Yeshiva in Jerusalem.
You should talk to Haniel.
The Haredi guy from your office, with the beard Yeah, he works in IT.
Is he deaf? No.
I don't think he's Jewish.
Certainly not frum.
He didn't even know what a Minyan was.
Avi Gellman, I'm Jewish and I've no idea what you're talking about.
Yeah but he should because he's Just watch him.
So, tell me about you.
I'm going to be famous.
Why? Are you kidding me? Who doesn't want to be famous? Well, why do you want to be famous? I want everyone to know my name.
And what's your name going to stand for? I dunno.
Fabulousness? I did write.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I just got caught up in stuff.
It's really lovely to see you.
She appears to have deleted her emails, diary.
What, deliberately? Looks like it.
Grace got rid of everything on Monday before she disappeared.
Maybe she doesn't want us to find her.
Oh, my God her zipmail log-in's saved! You'll have to guess her password.
Adam Hartmann.
Hartmann.
Adam.
I should go and clear my desk.
Half an hour, then it's server crash time, pick up Mum, go to the bank and I'll see you at Terminal Three.
Your mum? Already complaining about the heat and her ankles.
She's coming with us? I can't leave her behind.
And you didn't think to tell me this these last six months? She'll be no trouble.
She'll be how she used to be in no time.
Great.
It's all great.
Hasta la vista, baby.
Just call me Inspector Midget.
I can think of so many better names than that.
Yeah, well Mrs Sarky Posh Chops.
I'm in Grace's Zipmail.
You bloody genius.
I tried all our names, and it was JANE.
So this is her inbox.
Couple of spam Ooh, "Set Your Metabolism On Fire.
" Midge! Sorry.
Nothing before Monday.
She's wiped the lot.
Damn! Let me just check her sent mail.
Lots of people forget to delete those.
294 to Adam Hartmann.
Open one! Oh, my God, we're stalking Grace! "Adam, I've moved on, just let me live my life.
" "Adam, I can't take this any more, this is torture.
" Oh, my God times by 50.
That's just what she said when I heard her on the phone to him.
"I'm scared of you, of what you might do.
" Ladies, will somebody enlighten me.
Excuse me? Fitz says that unless I fire you all, he'll leave us and sign with Porrits.
What? You should have heard him.
He said Sid had a moustache.
He said what? Of course I won't be firing you but if we lose the Fitzwallace account, there'll be an enquiry, then it's out of my hands.
This is bad, bad business.
DOOR SLAMS I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I've fucked everything up.
Don't, it's not your fault.
Fitz is a tosser.
We'll sort it out, we always do.
No, you don't understand.
I've just stolen £23 million and you're going to get the blame.
Excuse me.
We both know that's not true, don't we? Who are you? You wanna know who I am? I don't believe this.
I trusted you.
I can't believe you went ahead with it, after everything you said to me.
So who the hell is he? His real name is Crawford.
The Mairhi Crawford account! He's her son.
I met him.
Go on.
I met him in hospital.
What, were you sick? Yes, no.
Look a lots of things happened.
And I tried to kill myself, OK? I was in hospital for a while after and so was he.
We were in love.
Love.
The root of all evil.
No-one had ever loved me like that before.
It felt nice.
He told me about this evil man called Rock Van Gelder who'd shafted his mother and ruined their lives.
And he wanted revenge and take back what was hers.
And it all seemed so simple.
I'm so sorry.
Don't be.
You only tried to implicate us in massive fraud while you sat there, like Minstrels wouldn't melt.
I tried to get out of it, he wouldn't let me.
Oh, my God, he hit you! Bastard.
Would you excuse us a moment, please.
I think we should help her.
She tried to get us sent to prison! What if she tries to top herself again? GROANING OK, love, what's his plan? In half an hour, Crawford's going to crash the servers, then he'll go to the bank, then fly to Cuba.
Shit, that's not very much time.
We need to get the money out.
By the time he gets to the bank, he'll know the money's gone.
So we have to stop him getting there.
There must be a way.
Oh, my God.
What happened? Avi seems to think you might know what's going on.
Nicole, may I borrow you for a moment? How can I help? Fitz has just called to say he will reconsider leaving Hartmann Payne, if you agree to spend 15 minutes with him right away.
Now, I would never condone No problem.
Oh.
Wouldn't want to let the client down.
I truly admire your dedication.
Thank you, thank you.
Jesus, thank you! It's a tragic tale of forbidden love between a Muslim and an Orthodox Jew.
Sid and Haniel have been trying to keep their burning passion a secret.
Except since he met Avi, he's been paranoid that his family are going to find out about his secret.
Eh? Right.
Yeah, fine.
Whatever you say.
You should see a doctor, mate.
Oh, poor love, I'm sorry you got dragged into this.
I'll explain everything as soon as Simon stops his hoverage.
Why did Simon have to find out about Crawford? He's going to phone the police.
And say what? All he knows is that Crawford punched Avi and you lied about him being deaf.
Simon would never call the police.
He's professor of dodgy dealings.
What have we got to lose? Simon, we need your help.
Please.
You tell me the truth, I'll see what I can do.
Oh, thanks, Simon.
Lucy, my office.
God, you're beautiful.
You wanted me? From the very first moment I saw you.
How old are you, 18, 19? You're a child.
You see this? This is a Breguet watch, worth £880,000.
Is that supposed to impress me? Yes.
No.
It's been a pleasure.
.
Wait Just, please.
May I talk to you honestly? Please.
Last week, I took the daughter of a senior Cabinet minister to a party.
And then I fucked her best friend in the cloakroom while she stood and watched.
She still came home with me that night.
Fascinating.
I'm bored of idiots who will do anything to become Mrs Fitzwallace.
It surprised me before.
I'll give you £1 million to sleep with me.
Only one million? Demi Moore got that 20 years ago.
Here's some homework for you.
See if you can come up with something to prove to me you're a man and not a boy, then I'll consider it.
They've been in there ages.
It's going to be too late.
Oh, nuts! My computer's crashed.
That's it! Crawford's crashed the servers.
Oh, God, he's gonna be leaving the building any minute.
Are you all ready for your big adventure? Don't fuck it up.
Right, you stay put.
You two, move it.
I love you too.
Haniel! Do you mind if I ask you something? What? It's just you're the only one who'll be able to help.
I'm feeling my life is empty and I wanted to find out more about Judaism.
Tell her, Haniel, a religious life is not for her.
But I need to know what it's like being ultra-Orthodox.
This is just a reaction to a bad break up.
Is it brilliant? Do you have inner peace? Please, Haniel, I need your help.
Tell her, there is no sex before marriage.
Erm, yeah, you should speak to a rabbi.
Right, thanks.
Mum! It's almost time.
Mum? We've £23 million! Mairhi Crawford's account's empty.
All the money's back where it belongs.
I cannot believe I am helping this company.
What if the police don't get to him before he gets to the bank? What the fuck! SIRENS WAIL We should have heard something.
Why haven't we heard anything? Simon's on the phone, he'll have news any sec.
Come on mate, why don't you help me look through Grace's emails.
What's Divalia? You mean Diwalia? It was a Roman festival, in honour of Voluptia, goddess of pleasure.
Crawford's been arrested.
Oh, thank God! You're OK.
KNOCK ON DOOR Are you OK? I thought he was the answer.
I don't know what to do now.
Why don't you stay here, till you sort yourself out? You have been a bit of muppet, for a bird with a "first from Oxford".
Nicole.
Thank you.
Fitz just informed me he's staying at Hartmann Payne.
He said to tell you, he decided to do the mature thing and forgive you all.
'Hello, Divalia Members Club.
' Hello.
'Grace? Oh, thank God.
'We haven't been able to get hold of you.
' I've been terribly busy.
Work, work, work, you know.
'Listen your package has arrived, finally.
' What a relief.
Whatever happened to it? 'The new drugs were impounded at Dover, but Jeeves pulled some strings.
'Are you coming to collect it?' No, I'm too busy here, could you possibly send it over to me? 'Sure.
' Thank you.
I've got a lead, I've got a lead on Grace.
What's this package Grace is meant to be picking up from there? Hey, birds.
Fancy a party tonight? Thought you could borrow your mum's car and drive us.
No, she doesn't.
Carry on.
The woman said something about drugs.
And a bloke called Jeeves, which must be the same Jeeves as Simon's dealer.
I know Jeeves.
Jane signed him last week.
Drugs? Grace? No way.
It's always the ones you least expect, innit? Is there a good reason why I'm breathing the same air as you? Your loss.
I'll be back in a sec.
MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES You OK? I just got a text from Bob.
"I know it's wrong, but I can't stop thinking about your legs.
" Why would that be wrong? Because you're pregnant? No, that don't make sense.
This can't be meant for me.
Just say when.
When.
You might want a bit more than that after the day you've had.
When.
Just ask Bob direct.
I'm sure it's nothing.
You're not going out with Fitz? Yes.
But he's the devil.
Of course he is.
That's why it will give me even more pleasure to extract as much cash from him as possible.
And it'll take my mind off Grace.
The police are coming tomorrow at two.
I can't.
MOBILE CONTINUES TO VIBRATE What? "Keep looking for Grace and you'll never see her again.
" Adam Hartmann.
How does he know what we're doing? Let's not panic.
Shit, shit, shit.
From Adam Hartmann.
"Keep looking for Grace and you'll never see her again.
" Midge, this package, why is it addressed to all of us? In memorium? What the fuck.
Divalia? Surely you've enough money to get us in there? Well, of course I fucking have.
Grace? Here, no way.
Amber? Meet your father.
It isn't mine.
One of my deranged stalkers, just call security, would you? We won't be having sex again.
Right.
I swear, on my baby's life, I have never cheated on you.
Me and you.
It's more than just happy ever after.
That's her, that's your daughter.