Physical (2021) s01e02 Episode Script

1 Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You're up.
Where am I? Drink your pink.
That's Tyler.
He's almost done.
He makes these movies about surfing sometimes.
Just drink, don't think.
Where are you from? How did you get me in here? What - What time is it? - I'm asking the questions.
Who is it? Studio Cindy? Body-by-the-Bay? Who the fuck sent you to spy on my class and steal my moves? Nobody.
I see you following me in my car.
Was it Breem? Are you one of his Mormon morality spies? I said drink the pink.
Finish it.
What's in this? - Uh, sugar-free pink lemonade - Hmm.
and speed.
Where the hell is my one-hitter? You have to put it in the same place every time.
Don't start with me.
I've been up all night.
You guys live here in the mall? - She kinda sounds like a spy.
- I told you she might be a spy.
This is my studio.
I make movies about surfing sometimes.
And sometimes we work late and crash.
But we don't live here 'cause it's against the rules.
Your one-hitter's above your head.
At least somebody gets it.
Now, if you ladies don't mind, I'm gonna get back to my work.
Your work? What the fuck's that supposed to mean? Just because you bought a fucking video camera with my fucking credit card doesn't make you a fucking movie director.
You know what? I don't need this shit.
I don't need you not believing in me.
We're gonna need money.
Paid for the fucking video camera with my fucking Video World! Money.
Give me a goddamn grand or I tell my good friend John Breem there's two squatters making porno in his mall and you're both kicked out on your asses.
Get the coffee can.
Seriously? Get the coffee can.
Well, that was one of your weirder dreams.
Although, hang on a second.
Why am I so Oh, my God.
You did it.
You crazy "We have flown the air like birds and swum the sea like fishes, but we have yet to learn the simple act of walking the earth like brothers".
Who said that, huh? Who do you think? I don't know.
Martin Luther Goddamn King Jr.
Yeah.
He's linking civil rights with environmental rights.
Challenging the agents of scientific advance and economic development not to leave behind the needs of a vulnerable planet in the process.
Damn! I found it.
The critical plank in my platform.
It's brilliant, right? Yeah.
You don't look like it's brilliant.
Oh, what? What What do I look like? Well, like you think I'm a phony, but you don't wanna hurt my feelings.
Honey, come on.
I I I'm just waking up.
I'm sorry.
You know, I'm trying to try things that might get me this goddamn endorsement.
Tell me again.
Tell me again.
Because you weren't listening? That's great.
I can't even get your attention.
Why would I expect anyone of significance to listen to me, huh? Why? All right.
I didn't mean that You know what the hell I meant, okay? Yeah, that's asshole for "I need help".
I don't know, I just think you need to simplify it.
Come up with something Dumb and catchy.
Do some sloganeering, huh? "I like Ike".
"Danny has a nice fanny".
I don't know, maybe you're right.
You know, it has been seven years since I've woken up on a Monday morning without a class to teach or even prep for and I gotta tell you, the freedom, it is It's freeing I guess.
What about you? What is your day like? You know, drop off and then then what happens after that? God forbid you have anything valuable to do.
'Cause I was thinking maybe Maybe I'd tag along with you.
We could do some more talking and maybe we can do some brainstorming.
Maya! Breakfast! You know, the two of us.
You better come up with something.
You can't have him on your ass all day.
Babe.
Uh, I think you you'd probably be really bored.
I'm just doing housewife stuff.
What? No, nonsense.
I'm interested in what you get up to when I'm at work, you know.
You got a hot plumber who comes by and services you.
Go ahead.
Tell him you're fucking a plumber.
It's better than what you really do.
Less disgusting.
Today I am coming with, okay? I'm gonna be the peanut butter on your sandwich.
Cool.
Oh, why don't you wait here? I won't be long.
Yeah.
All right.
995, 1,000.
Okay.
I'll just have to have my supervisor come over and register these.
Sorry? Oh, any cash deposit over a thousand needs to be documented.
It's just a formality.
This bitch is on to you.
We've got our signature fresh-baked oatmeal cookies ready while you wait.
Fatten you up before the slaughter.
I, uh, I might act You know, I forgot I have a doctor's appointment, so I'm going to, um I'm gonna come back.
Thank you.
You know, I don't know if you know this, but burrito actually means "little donkey".
Yeah, probably 'cause like a donkey, it could carry a lot of nourishment.
And that was helpful for our brother day laborers.
You know, they could go hours without any kind of - Oh, hey.
- Beat it, sluts.
You ready to go, sweetie? Okay.
Take care, girls.
Whatever.
You're driving? Okay.
Yeah.
So where to on this adventurous day of yours? I have to go to ballet class.
You have to? If I want to get rid of you.
I want to.
It's how I keep my figure.
I'll drop you home first.
This is your chance to get what you need.
Don't fuck it up.
Hey.
Sup.
Sup? She's cool.
- Sup? - She's cool.
They think you're cool, so just play it cool.
Don't show your cards, you dumbass.
You need this guy.
Good waves out there today? Why don't you tell me what you're fucking here for? Swing and a miss, fatty.
- I - You know we work really hard.
I mean, right now I'm not 'cause I'm surfing, but, like, when I'm not surfing, I'm, like, working my ass off.
So if you're just gonna, like, keep taking things from us I would like to come back to Bunny's class.
There's nothing else out there quite like it.
And what she does, it's special and made me feel powerful.
And I would like to continue to feel that.
Dude, seriously? While we still can.
What does he mean while you still can? Like you don't know.
Your friend Breem's gonna dig up the river mouth, change the shape of the whole point, destroy our whole reason for living, aka this wave.
People think killer waves are some God-given accident or some shit.
Really? They are a fragile set of geologic and oceanic factors.
You fuck with one of them, it's all over.
Anyway.
As far as you coming back to Bunny's class not really seeing that in the clouds.
You mean in the cards? I mean what I said.
Later.
Are you sure he said it was casual? I don't know what he said.
I I asked you and you said he invited you to a gathering at his house, - and then when I said, "Is it casual" - Who the fuck cares? I I'm sorry.
I am very nervous right now.
I really need this endorsement.
Okay, so who cares what you look like? You look great.
Okay? Holy shit.
How big is this house? It's like a hotel.
- Hey! You made it.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Yeah.
Welcome to our obnoxiously un-humble abode.
- Wow.
Thank you.
- Unreal.
Unreal.
Yeah.
Ernie Hauser.
Pleasure to meet you.
I'm an elbow tapper.
Hygiene freak.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
This is my wife, Sheila, and this is our daughter, Maya.
- Hey, Maya.
Hi.
Hello.
- Hi.
Allow me to introduce you to my wife, Greta.
- Greta-Gret-Gretty! - Oh.
Uh, we actually know each other from the kids' preschool.
Yeah, great! Oh, so you're one of Greta's volunteer army draftees? No, she usually just drops her daughter off and leaves.
Oh.
Okay.
You like margaritas? I do.
My girl makes a great one.
Why don't you come over here? - Go get a margarita.
- See ya.
- Uh, I had no idea - How rich we are? Yeah.
It's crazy.
I know.
Yeah, and, uh, who your husband was.
Oh, I told you, and I told you again 'cause you weren't listening the first time.
Oh, or the second time either, I guess.
Pinky's hungry.
She wanna eat.
Oh.
Well, I think all the kids are in the TV room.
You wanna get some food for Pinky in there? - Yes.
- Okay.
Okay, let's go.
Come on.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
A long time ago in the middle of the forest lived two children.
The boy was named Hansel.
I'm Hansel.
- And the girl was named Gretel.
- I'm Gretel.
God, this place is enormous.
Who needs a house this big? Someone with an ass that big.
Oh, no.
You're caught.
Now you've got to make nice with those guzzling gossipy That's quite the setup over there.
I've never seen a TV that big.
It's like a drive-in.
That's Ernie.
You know, he has to have the newest model of everything.
If it's the biggest one, Ernie has to have it.
I'm still trying to get Steven to let me have a microwave.
He thinks they cause cancer.
Hmm, well, we've been using ours for popcorn.
- No oil, no mess.
- Nice.
If I can cook a hot dog in ten seconds, I'll take a little cancer risk.
Why would they allow it in the home if it wasn't safe? Other than corporate greed and government ineptitude? This is why you keep your thoughts to yourself, you freak.
You guys moved here from Berkeley, right? Yeah.
No oil, no mess.
No oil.
Oh, God.
He's bombing worse than you are.
Excuse me.
Nobody said that you weren't good enough.
That was the message, Sheila.
Loud and clear.
"Pack up, you stupid hippie Jew.
Pack up and get out".
And now I have to face those fuckers at the dean's house tomorrow.
What am I gonna say? You know, pretty soon the checks are gonna stop.
And how long can we afford to live off our savings, huh? What savings? There's none.
Hello! It's not a rhetorical question.
It's fine.
I just have to check my books and do some math.
No, you don't.
There's nothing.
You're a liar.
Nothing.
Can you please just tell me what Ernie said? Yeah, so I can relive the humiliation? Great.
No.
So I know, and I can help.
Okay, well, he said that he didn't think that I was candidate material.
In fact, I strike him as more of a behind-the-scenes or strategy guy.
So, you know what? He just needs a little convincing.
That's all.
Why invite me there if you're just gonna say no? Something changed.
Something happened.
You happened, you fuckup.
And you know what? We're gonna make some changes around here.
No more extras, no more ballet until I figure things out.
Okay? I think we pull Maya out of that nursery school.
That's expensive, right? No, it's it's not, actually.
It's a co-op.
Well, it's gotta cost something, Sheila.
We have to do something.
And by we, he means you.
Time to fix this mess.
Good morning, everyone.
Morning.
Everything okay with Maya? Yeah.
I'm here to volunteer.
Oh, welcome.
The more the merrier.
Uh, uh, Greta coordinates co-op assignments.
Mm-hmm.
Morning.
I just wanted to pitch in.
Yeah.
Okay.
Um, we could use some help in the sandbox.
- Mm-hmm.
- Raking out raccoon turds.
Oh, that sounds - Punitive.
Hostile.
- good.
Of course, Helen's not here yet, so I could always put her on turd duty.
- And you could help me in song circle.
- Okay.
And then we could just, like, go to breakfast after or whatever.
Great.
- Song circle time! - Okay.
How about the "I love my body" song today? Great.
- I love my ♪ - Feet! Oh, yes, I do ♪ I love the funky cool things they can do ♪ Is this what they do all day? Good God.
I'm gonna show 'em and grow 'em ♪ And let the whole world know 'em ♪ 'Cause they're a part of me and you ♪ I love my ♪ Bagina.
Oh, yes, I do ♪ I love the funky cool things it can do ♪ That's my son.
I'm gonna show it and grow it ♪ And let the whole world know it ♪ And by the time I meet Ernie, you know, he's just an engineer.
And everyone would fall asleep whenever he said whatever he did.
They were like, "Polyurethane compounds?" It's like, "What's that? Snooze fest".
Anyway, somehow he has the foresight to, like, patent this technology.
You're not touching that cinnamon bun.
I mean, I honestly don't even think he had any idea how many applications it would have.
You know, like aerospace and, like, skateboard wheels.
Well, now everyone thinks he's so interesting, right? Like influential, but it's hilarious.
He's just the same old Ernie to me.
Oh, he actually reminds me a lot of Danny.
He He's a real innovator too.
First time I met him, he was standing on a milk crate with a megaphone.
You have to try a bite of this.
That stall is better than any bakery I've ever been to.
Oh, no.
Thank you.
Seriously, this is the best I've ever had.
Don't let her distract you.
I know Danny admires your husband enormously, especially with all of his success not changing his politics.
Just a bite.
You won't regret it.
You already regret it.
But what choice do you have? She's not gonna let it go until you eat it.
Fuck! That's good.
Woman knows her buns.
I'll give her that.
I just wish I could help you with Ernie's endorsement, but he doesn't listen to a word I say.
Um, but we're working on that in therapy.
Anyway.
I hope that's not why you're being nice to me.
So In for a penny, in for a pound.
Now get your fat ass to class before you explode.
Grapevine to the right! And at the knees.
Clap.
Clap.
High knees! And clap.
Higher knees! Let me hear you.
Whoo! Whoo! I'm sorry.
This class is full.
There seems to be plenty of space back here.
It's at capacity.
And if I exceed capacity then I get in trouble.
And if I get in trouble then I get kicked out.
Anyone want me to get kicked out? No.
Then I'm afraid you need to go.
Sheila.
Sheil.
Sheila.
Isn't that right, Sheila? - Yeah.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, she inspired me.
- Yeah.
You know what I mean? It's time to get out there in the real world.
Make political history instead of just teaching it.
Well I think we had agreed - that would be the next chapter.
- I'm happy for you.
You always had the gift of gab.
And this way, you no longer have the pressure to publish.
How's fundraising going? I mean, that is the main job.
Yeah, it is, and it's going really well.
It's just getting going, but yeah, great.
- Cheese puff? - Ah, yes, thank you.
I can't resist these.
Simone, they have you serving food to the faculty? Yeah.
Uh, this is my, uh, my work-study.
You know, last year I had lawn maintenance, so Oh, um, cheese puff? Uh, no, thank you.
Well, it's good to see you.
I hope you can get that tray down soon.
Maybe get some reading done.
Thanks, Danny.
Yeah, um.
Oh, and, um, you too, Sheila.
You guys look great, um, as per usual.
No, you don't.
You look like a beached mermaid.
What were you thinking? Sequins in this crowd? Work-study? In a department dedicated to studying class structures and historic injustices, the poor students are set up to fail while the privileged kids can just sleep off their hangovers all afternoon? - Hire tutors? - And he's off.
Please excuse me.
I'm just gonna look for the restroom.
Yeah.
That's bullshit, you know that, right? Excuse me.
Sheila.
Hi, Professor Mendelson.
I'm sorry, I j I wasn't sure if that was you.
No, it felt like you were running away from me.
Not that you'd be the first woman that ever did.
Yep.
That's a lesbian joke.
We do make them contrary to popular belief.
You know, despite Danny's, um, departure, if you're ever ready to resume your graduate work, I think we could figure that out.
Ah.
That's so kind of you.
The baby still needs a lot of my attention so Which one? You know, I probably shouldn't say this, but, uh, I've already had two glasses of wine, so, hmm.
Here we go.
It really burns me up that you would give up your own academic prospects for that motormouth potato.
You had so much potential, so much to offer.
That's so kind of you, Professor Mendelson No, fuck kind.
I mean, nobody around here gives a damn about women's studies, and I have to fight for every nickel and dime.
Meanwhile, poli-sci is beating off resources with sticks.
And I Oh.
These are amazing and ridiculous, and I can't say no.
Of course she can't.
She can't control herself at all.
She's a lonely old lesbian without a shred of self-respect left.
- I'm just gonna look for the restroom.
- Mm.
Not that you're any better.
The road you're on today.
Pastries with icing? Give up.
You might as well just give up.
- Cheese puff? - No! You used to be someone of consequence.
Someone who mattered.
Now you're just an overdressed, over-the-hill, saggy-ass sad sack married to yesterday's news.
Jackpot.
You need to go.
That's it.
You're done now.
That's the last time, the very last time.
And now you know what to do.
You know exactly what to do.
Hello? Is somebody in there? I'll be right out.
You're gonna help him win this thing.
You're gonna save our wave.
"There's only one thing more powerful than we are.
No, it's not Reagan and his warmongers, or Breem and his bulldozers.
It's the ocean".
"As powerful as it is, it is also fragile.
It is our duty, our calling as Californians who celebrate and enjoy this beautiful coastline, to protect it".
My name is Danny Rubin and I am running for State Assembly.
This is my beautiful wife, Sheila, and our daughter, Maya.
We'd really love to have your support because with your help we can save our wave.
Save our wave! Save our wave! You wanna say good night to Daddy? Now, in order to get that into Yes.
Oh, my gosh.
I love it.
It's so beautiful.
That was a battle.
That was a battle.
I really I really petitioned a lot of students - Ow! - I'm tired.
Okay.
Okay.
Of course you get kicked in the twat.
Why should today be any different? So, what did you think? I mean, I like what he had to say.
But I don't know.
That's what politicians do, right? Say stuff.
What if I told you I could get you a gig with him? A film gig.
Supporting his campaign instead of doing what you're doing.
What the hell's your deal? I mean, like, one minute you're working with Breem, and then you're, like, with the opposition.
Like, whose side are you on? It's fucking confusing.
It's like Vertigo.
The movie.
I'm on my side.
Okay.
So I get a video gig.
What do you get? Fine, but she stands over there by the fan.
Sorry.
Okay, bunnies.
Let's get going! And take it to the right! And one, two, three, four, five, six.
Let's do this thing!