Play It Again, Dick (2014) s01e02 Episode Script
Episode 2
The iZombie experience has been great.
The cast is fantastic.
I think it's the right show for the network at this time.
We're having we're having a really good time making this.
Great.
Well, thanks.
Oh, before I let you go, uh, we've been hearing a lot of rumors about a Veronica Mars spin-off, maybe featuring Ryan Hansen.
What can you tease for us with that? Uh, well, there's no way there's a Veronica Mars spin-off coming off right now.
I mean, I I'm the creator of Veronica Mars, and, yes, Warner Brothers owns it, but I'm an important producer for for Warner Brothers, like Kevin Williamson or Chuck Lorre.
I They wouldn't go and make that show without me.
I promise you that those are just rumors.
Fans start them all the time.
It's It's not happening.
Previously on These are the main titles for the Dick Casablancas series.
Pitching to the CW next week.
Young, hot people forgetting to put their shirts on.
Guns, tricked-out muscle cars, chase sequences, catch phrases.
Have you heard of micro-budget pilots? This is your chance to be a trailblazer.
- Right on.
- Do you think you can get some of your old cohorts from Veronica Mars? Of course.
Ryan, if there were going to be a Veronica Mars spin-off, I think I would've heard about it.
Especially if I was appearing in it.
Also, why would you have Dick be a private eye? Does Rob know anything about this, Ryan? Could you do the pilot for 50? - Fifty - Thousand.
Fifty thousand dollars? For the whole thing? Yeah, it's a micro-budget pilot.
Everybody's doing them, dipping their toes in, casting a wider net.
I just don't get how you make it work.
You know, Logan's supposed to be on an aircraft carrier somewhere.
But now he's back in Neptune, partnered up with Dick, solving crimes? - Eh, I guess it could work.
- Yeah, totally.
Partners.
Crockett and Tubbs.
Batman and Robin.
- Starsky and Hutch.
- Simon and Garfunkel.
And these guys? Oh, just the "making of" doc crew.
You know, DVD bonus material.
Let's face it, a show called Veronica Mars, it was always going to be Kristen's show.
We should put our name in the title.
They could never write us out.
Mm, Casablancas and Echolls? Sounds kind of dumb, don't you think? Dude, Rizolli and Isles just wrapped season five.
Wait, that's a real show? Franklin and Bash, entering its fourth season.
- What? - Or, you know, I'm this kind of American hero jet fighter pilot, and you're this himbo surfer comedy relief guy.
Maybe the name should tap into that.
Are you sure you don't need a Fresnel on that 2K? Here, uh, I'll fix it.
Look.
- Uh - Here, look.
All right.
Pick up in three and two One.
Or, you know, I'm this kind of American hero jet fighter pilot, and you're this himbo surfer comedy relief guy.
Maybe the name should tap into that.
Hm, think about that.
Joker and the Ace.
Oh, my God.
- That's it! - What? Joker and the Ace.
Oh, I can see the billboard.
We're tooling down the Strip in a classic Stingray convertible.
Tag line: Joker and the Ace: cruising for a couple of Queens.
- Uh - Oh, shit.
- That came out wrong.
- Yeah.
All right, we're gonna run that again, but this time, everyone, crew included, realizes it's funny, we all crack up.
We'll put it in the season one gag reel.
- Okay.
- Pick it up in three and two and one.
Joker and the Ace.
I really appreciate you putting this faith in me.
I know this is your baby.
You sold the show, but I am going to crawl through glass to make this work.
Day one: I'm here on time, in shape, knowing my lines, hitting my marks.
I'll do all the publicity you need me to do.
I'm turning down all offers coming my way.
From here on, my priority is Joker and the Ace.
You still like that title, right? - Yeah, totally.
- Who's writing it? - Writing what? - The show.
Oh, the show, the show.
Um, I was thinking about writing the story, you know, and then just hiring some nerd to put in some commas and shit.
You know, make it loose.
Room to improvise and riff.
It'll be more like jazz than that fascist MARS experience, where you had to like, "What's on the page?" You know, it's like, forget that.
Cool.
- Whatever comes into our head.
- Yeah, that's cool.
- Like, whatevs.
Um - Yeah.
Bippity boppity boo.
I am Spartacus.
Shit like that.
Like, no one's stopping us, man.
- Cock, cock, cock.
- You get it.
- You totally get it.
- Thanks, man, for thinking of me.
We're gonna knock this out of the park.
Yeah, we are.
Yeah.
You might want to take that last two or three percent of body fat off before cameras roll.
Want me to have my trainer give you a call? Uh, I'm good.
There's good and there's great.
- Hm.
- And a million miles in between.
- Okay.
- My trainer says that.
Think about it.
- Yeah.
Definitely something to think about.
- Yeah.
Cool.
All right, bud.
Boom, boom, boom.
- Ow! - Yeah! I'm gonna put that in the show.
- Yeah, dude.
- Ha, ha! Did you get that? I'm putting that in the show.
You know, when Ryan joined Mars, he was a glorified extra.
They gave him one word.
You know what the word was? Logan.
And now we're doing this together.
We're like brothers.
Everything happens for a reason.
Ow! Getting the band back together, baby.
Yes.
Two down, a few more to go.
So it's going to be a two-hander? What's going to be a what? The show, Joker and the Ace.
You're doing a buddy cop thing now? Oh, no, no, no.
That's just That's just actor stuff.
You know, lobbying for screen time.
Goes with the territory.
He's just being a bitch.
Like I need to lose two or three percent body fat? Please.
Right? What are ? Did you just zoom in? Don't.
When the movie came out, people started selling these Veronica Mars t-shirts.
You could kind of vote on who you wanted Veronica to end up with.
You could be Team Logan or Team Piz.
Landslide TKO.
The winner? Boom.
Team Dick.
True story.
All it says about a girl who bought the Team Dick shirt is that they like Dick.
I guess they sold a lot of men's size larges too.
Yeah.
Nothing wrong with that.
I got plenty of love for the big girls.
That's right.
Call me.
Ha, ha.
- Hey! - Ryan? What's up, C-dog? What's going on? Uh, is your handle "Pink Torpedo"? Yeah.
Check out my avatar.
- Ah.
There it is.
- Oh, God.
Hey, man, I don't know if you know, but I'm doing this pretty big pilot.
Uh, no.
What do you mean what do you mean doing? Writing, directing, producing, starring in.
- That's ambitious.
- Yeah.
Uh, that's great, man.
Congratulations.
Uh, shocked I haven't read it in the trades, right? That is actually pretty weird, you know, because it's kind of a big deal.
And I just really think they're trying to keep it on the DL for now until they make the big splash.
Well, uh what's the show? Private Dick.
Or Joker and the Ace.
It's still up in the air.
But it is a You ready? Yeah? Veronica Mars spin-off.
I know, I'm playing Dick Casablancas again.
You know, grown up, a little more mature.
Still the one-man party, but now solving crime and mysteries.
- Well, good luck with that.
- Thank you.
Wait, no, Chris.
Hey, Chris.
We're getting the gang back together.
Yeah.
I want you to play Piz.
- Fuck off.
- What? Chris.
- Wait.
Chris Piz! - No! Piznarski! Ahh.
No, he he wants to do it.
It's like a negotiation thing.
Well played, Chris Lowell.
Well played.
Three and two.
Joker and the Ace: cruising for a couple of Queens.
Uh, that's a different show.
The cast is fantastic.
I think it's the right show for the network at this time.
We're having we're having a really good time making this.
Great.
Well, thanks.
Oh, before I let you go, uh, we've been hearing a lot of rumors about a Veronica Mars spin-off, maybe featuring Ryan Hansen.
What can you tease for us with that? Uh, well, there's no way there's a Veronica Mars spin-off coming off right now.
I mean, I I'm the creator of Veronica Mars, and, yes, Warner Brothers owns it, but I'm an important producer for for Warner Brothers, like Kevin Williamson or Chuck Lorre.
I They wouldn't go and make that show without me.
I promise you that those are just rumors.
Fans start them all the time.
It's It's not happening.
Previously on These are the main titles for the Dick Casablancas series.
Pitching to the CW next week.
Young, hot people forgetting to put their shirts on.
Guns, tricked-out muscle cars, chase sequences, catch phrases.
Have you heard of micro-budget pilots? This is your chance to be a trailblazer.
- Right on.
- Do you think you can get some of your old cohorts from Veronica Mars? Of course.
Ryan, if there were going to be a Veronica Mars spin-off, I think I would've heard about it.
Especially if I was appearing in it.
Also, why would you have Dick be a private eye? Does Rob know anything about this, Ryan? Could you do the pilot for 50? - Fifty - Thousand.
Fifty thousand dollars? For the whole thing? Yeah, it's a micro-budget pilot.
Everybody's doing them, dipping their toes in, casting a wider net.
I just don't get how you make it work.
You know, Logan's supposed to be on an aircraft carrier somewhere.
But now he's back in Neptune, partnered up with Dick, solving crimes? - Eh, I guess it could work.
- Yeah, totally.
Partners.
Crockett and Tubbs.
Batman and Robin.
- Starsky and Hutch.
- Simon and Garfunkel.
And these guys? Oh, just the "making of" doc crew.
You know, DVD bonus material.
Let's face it, a show called Veronica Mars, it was always going to be Kristen's show.
We should put our name in the title.
They could never write us out.
Mm, Casablancas and Echolls? Sounds kind of dumb, don't you think? Dude, Rizolli and Isles just wrapped season five.
Wait, that's a real show? Franklin and Bash, entering its fourth season.
- What? - Or, you know, I'm this kind of American hero jet fighter pilot, and you're this himbo surfer comedy relief guy.
Maybe the name should tap into that.
Are you sure you don't need a Fresnel on that 2K? Here, uh, I'll fix it.
Look.
- Uh - Here, look.
All right.
Pick up in three and two One.
Or, you know, I'm this kind of American hero jet fighter pilot, and you're this himbo surfer comedy relief guy.
Maybe the name should tap into that.
Hm, think about that.
Joker and the Ace.
Oh, my God.
- That's it! - What? Joker and the Ace.
Oh, I can see the billboard.
We're tooling down the Strip in a classic Stingray convertible.
Tag line: Joker and the Ace: cruising for a couple of Queens.
- Uh - Oh, shit.
- That came out wrong.
- Yeah.
All right, we're gonna run that again, but this time, everyone, crew included, realizes it's funny, we all crack up.
We'll put it in the season one gag reel.
- Okay.
- Pick it up in three and two and one.
Joker and the Ace.
I really appreciate you putting this faith in me.
I know this is your baby.
You sold the show, but I am going to crawl through glass to make this work.
Day one: I'm here on time, in shape, knowing my lines, hitting my marks.
I'll do all the publicity you need me to do.
I'm turning down all offers coming my way.
From here on, my priority is Joker and the Ace.
You still like that title, right? - Yeah, totally.
- Who's writing it? - Writing what? - The show.
Oh, the show, the show.
Um, I was thinking about writing the story, you know, and then just hiring some nerd to put in some commas and shit.
You know, make it loose.
Room to improvise and riff.
It'll be more like jazz than that fascist MARS experience, where you had to like, "What's on the page?" You know, it's like, forget that.
Cool.
- Whatever comes into our head.
- Yeah, that's cool.
- Like, whatevs.
Um - Yeah.
Bippity boppity boo.
I am Spartacus.
Shit like that.
Like, no one's stopping us, man.
- Cock, cock, cock.
- You get it.
- You totally get it.
- Thanks, man, for thinking of me.
We're gonna knock this out of the park.
Yeah, we are.
Yeah.
You might want to take that last two or three percent of body fat off before cameras roll.
Want me to have my trainer give you a call? Uh, I'm good.
There's good and there's great.
- Hm.
- And a million miles in between.
- Okay.
- My trainer says that.
Think about it.
- Yeah.
Definitely something to think about.
- Yeah.
Cool.
All right, bud.
Boom, boom, boom.
- Ow! - Yeah! I'm gonna put that in the show.
- Yeah, dude.
- Ha, ha! Did you get that? I'm putting that in the show.
You know, when Ryan joined Mars, he was a glorified extra.
They gave him one word.
You know what the word was? Logan.
And now we're doing this together.
We're like brothers.
Everything happens for a reason.
Ow! Getting the band back together, baby.
Yes.
Two down, a few more to go.
So it's going to be a two-hander? What's going to be a what? The show, Joker and the Ace.
You're doing a buddy cop thing now? Oh, no, no, no.
That's just That's just actor stuff.
You know, lobbying for screen time.
Goes with the territory.
He's just being a bitch.
Like I need to lose two or three percent body fat? Please.
Right? What are ? Did you just zoom in? Don't.
When the movie came out, people started selling these Veronica Mars t-shirts.
You could kind of vote on who you wanted Veronica to end up with.
You could be Team Logan or Team Piz.
Landslide TKO.
The winner? Boom.
Team Dick.
True story.
All it says about a girl who bought the Team Dick shirt is that they like Dick.
I guess they sold a lot of men's size larges too.
Yeah.
Nothing wrong with that.
I got plenty of love for the big girls.
That's right.
Call me.
Ha, ha.
- Hey! - Ryan? What's up, C-dog? What's going on? Uh, is your handle "Pink Torpedo"? Yeah.
Check out my avatar.
- Ah.
There it is.
- Oh, God.
Hey, man, I don't know if you know, but I'm doing this pretty big pilot.
Uh, no.
What do you mean what do you mean doing? Writing, directing, producing, starring in.
- That's ambitious.
- Yeah.
Uh, that's great, man.
Congratulations.
Uh, shocked I haven't read it in the trades, right? That is actually pretty weird, you know, because it's kind of a big deal.
And I just really think they're trying to keep it on the DL for now until they make the big splash.
Well, uh what's the show? Private Dick.
Or Joker and the Ace.
It's still up in the air.
But it is a You ready? Yeah? Veronica Mars spin-off.
I know, I'm playing Dick Casablancas again.
You know, grown up, a little more mature.
Still the one-man party, but now solving crime and mysteries.
- Well, good luck with that.
- Thank you.
Wait, no, Chris.
Hey, Chris.
We're getting the gang back together.
Yeah.
I want you to play Piz.
- Fuck off.
- What? Chris.
- Wait.
Chris Piz! - No! Piznarski! Ahh.
No, he he wants to do it.
It's like a negotiation thing.
Well played, Chris Lowell.
Well played.
Three and two.
Joker and the Ace: cruising for a couple of Queens.
Uh, that's a different show.