Prank or Tank (2023) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Escorpión Dorado and Facundo
face each other
in ten extreme challenges
across the country.
These challenges have been created
by iconic people from their past,
like Franco Escamilla,
who's here today to test their skills
with the help of a special guest,
Piojo Herrera.
They're used to Mexico City,
their comfort zone.
I said, "No, come to the ranch."
The winner of each challenge
will be awarded money
that will later be donated to a charity.
But the loser will suffer
a humiliating and painful punishment.
This is Prank or Tank.
PRANK OR TANK
After two challenges and a little souvenir
that Facundo got from Escorpión,
this is just getting started.
It hurts, asshole!
Escorpión's in the lead
with 100,000 pesos in his account.
All the money that Escorpión
racks up during the competition
will go to the foundation Por un Hogar,
which offers thanatological support
to patients in public hospitals.
If Facundo ends up winning,
his donation will go to Natura Mexicana,
which helps preserve nature.
Let's see who wins today's challenges.
I heroically endured my first punishment,
like I was supposed to do.
Okay, enough!
Who's been drawing on his bald head
with a sharpie?
-What's that, jerk?
-Nothing.
Wait, we have a message.
What's up, bitches? How are you?
I heard about
your little catfight, assholes.
Come over to Monterrey.
I've prepared something cool here for you
to see who's the real GOAT.
By the way, I want you both well dressed,
like real Monterrey locals.
I'll send you the location.
Buy some good outfits,
I want you to look fancy.
Don't take long, see you.
You in for the prank or will you tank?
-Who's that?
-I think it's Samuel García.
Name: Franco Escamilla.
AKA: Lobo López.
Challenges: Skills.
Reason for revenge: Professional mockery.
Escorpión says
he's just a stand-up comedian
and boasts about being responsible
for Franco's fame.
Grudge level: 8.5.
Although I'm not from Monterrey,
Monterrey is mine.
Like that or more douchey?
-That's good.
-Okay.
-No, it's Franco Escamilla.
-How are you, gentlemen?
-You
-This chest is for you.
You know Franco. You know what that means?
I can't reveal anything,
but here's your chest.
-Ready?
-Let's see.
-Oh, fuck.
-No.
Do I have to tattoo this on him too?
-Yes.
-Let's see
What's going on?
We have to go to Monterrey?
-Yes.
-I won't wear a hat and all that shit.
-I'll take this.
-Okay.
Let's go.
That's bullshit. Is this your cell phone?
It belongs to production.
-Can I come with you?
-No!
Okay! See you in Monterrey.
PRANK OR TANK
I'm not going to Monterrey in that.
Why not? We'll make it.
-We'll get there.
-Change it for a gray one or something.
-Let's go by plane.
-Plane? That's boring.
Watch it!
Fuck! You're not made of plastic, idiot!
-Do you know Franco Escamilla?
-Nope.
-Why did you say "nope"?
-I'd like to meet him.
But he's always badmouthing you.
Everyone does until they meet me
and see I'm cool.
How come he's never invited you
to his shows?
Maybe he's jealous.
Breaking news!
Facundo says Escamilla's jealous.
Can you believe this guy?
-How about that? Which way to Monterrey?
-Take the right.
-Monterrey is that way.
-Monterrey, here we come.
I feel like having a barbecue.
Some spicy beans. Fuck it, let's see.
When I think of Monterrey,
I think of brewski.
-Don't say "brewski" there.
-A beer.
-A beer.
-Yeah.
MEXICO CITY
They're on their way to Monterrey.
But the competition
is just getting started.
MONTERREY, MEXICO
Are they ready for what's ahead?
It smells like Monterrey, Facundo!
-We made it to Monterrey!
-It's fucking freezing.
Damn it! But the heater's on, that's good.
-No way, man.
-Hey, dude
I don't feel I can blend in in Monterrey.
-I told you so.
-I'll be bullied. I'm a city boy.
Where did Franco say
we can buy cool clothes?
Around here, dude. In downtown.
That dude isn't even from here.
He's from Morelos.
-He migrated here.
-He's from Morelos?
So, why's he acting like a damn cowboy?
He says "Like so."
-I think he's full of it!
-He's full of it. Exactly, dude.
Over here I think it's around here.
Where it says "Hats and Boots"?
It says,
"Franco Escamilla's Cowboy Store."
-It's here.
-He sent us to his own store?
-Damn right!
-No wonder, man. What an asshole.
-We're here.
-Right.
The bosses are here! Fuck yeah!
I'll show you how to dress up
like a real cowboy,
because you're a city boy.
Yeah, that's true.
These dudes arrived
dressed like PE teachers.
Let's see if they manage
to look more local.
Wow, how's this look, assholes?
You look like a car salesman from Texas.
Exactly, dude.
You selling cheese?
How's this look?
Shut up. Who hired a stripper?
This is it, dude.
Yee-haw, dudes!
Now that they're pimped out
with their local outfits,
our gladiators meet up with Franco.
Like we say in showbusiness, break a leg!
-It was about fucking time.
-Give me five!
It's not like you're waiting in the sun.
You got shade and brewskis over there.
Why are you dressed up like Sinaloans?
-You told us to.
-You told us to dress up.
Classic Franco Escamilla outfit.
This is the typical Monterrey outfit.
-He's even got fuzz sticking out!
-Fuck you!
-Today I'll get carried away.
-Okay.
-Have you ever ridden a horse?
-Yes.
Riding and being ridden
I've always been a good rider,
but also a good beast.
Untamable, but a beast.
We'll do some bull riding, as you can see.
What's that?
Pure manure, gentlemen!
-What?
-What?
The bull's surrounded by shit?
Whose crap is it? Franco's?
-So, whoever lasts the longest wins?
-No, whoever falls first.
-Of course the longest!
-One go only?
No, you have three attempts.
-Can we throw crap on the rider?
-No. Three attempts.
Whoever holds on the longest,
after all three attempts, will win.
Of course, the loser will be punished.
Rock, paper, scissors to see who starts?
Use your fucking system.
Bring Dr. Volados.
-You have someone.
-Dr. Volados.
Dr. Volados, please.
Can you believe
he gets paid just to flip a coin?
Punisher!
Whoever wins the toss starts.
Let's see who starts.
-He's the Great Khali.
-Escorpión!
-To the rodeo!
-Thanks, Great Khali.
-He doesn't talk?
-It's fine. I'm a god. I don't back down.
Mechanical bull-shit!
No way, dude.
At least you'll have cleaned up the shit
by the time it's my turn.
There's nowhere to hang on to, dude.
Hold on with your legs, idiot.
You never ridden before?
-It's dangerous!
-Ready?
Stick your hand in the back. In that hole.
Take it easy, asshole!
-Relax.
-Hold on tight with the bit at the back.
-Shut up!
-Relax.
There's a strap. There.
You're gonna fall off.
Don't cheat to avoid a hard fall, dude.
Remember we have our honor.
There's honor So long, loser!
Take that! It even headbutted you!
There's honor So long, loser!
Take that! It even headbutted you!
Fourteen seconds!
-You're kidding.
-Plus the hit to the head!
The bull almost got me.
-Is it really hard or what?
-There's nowhere to hold on to.
It's all in the hips.
Riding the bull is like having sex,
it's all in the rhythm.
You have to move your hips right.
-Okay.
-We'll start slow. Hold on, buddy.
That's it, it's all in the hips! Look.
It's all in the hips!
There's shit running down my back!
Seventeen seconds!
-What do you mean 17, man?
-Give me five.
I'll beat the shit out of Facundo.
Move it gently.
I made you famous, asshole.
Asshole!
Hit it hard! Are you from Morelos or what?
23 SECONDS
Take that!
Getting there!
19 SECONDS
No fucking way!
I ate something.
The winner is the one
that lasts the longest.
But it looks like they enjoy
landing on fecal matter.
-What happened?
-Bastard, you'll kill me!
You're gonna kill me, idiot!
Be more responsible!
Not the fucking backbreaker on the shit.
-Not the backbreaker!
-Yes or no?
-Yes or no?
-No!
Not the fucking backbreaker!
-Eat shit!
-No.
Fuck, I'm eating shit.
Just look at what people do
for a meal. Fuck.
-Franco's too clean, right?
-Yeah.
Franco.
You know your fate.
He's getting away! Don't let him get away!
Come on, fight! Get him! Fight!
I used the fat guy technique.
I was losing, so I dropped to the ground.
Pick me up, bastards.
No! Enough!
Where's the intern?
Nobody's gonna come out clean from this.
Is that a new mole?
It's a little souvenir.
I don't know if they passed the challenge,
but at least shit doesn't gross them out.
The loser racked up 42 seconds.
-Okay.
-The winner
racked up
-fifty seconds.
-Okay!
-The winner of this challenge
-Fuck yeah.
is Escorpión Dorado!
Congratulations, Escorpión!
-Congratulations, dude.
-Thank you.
-Was that my prize?
-Yeah.
Thanks. Now fuck off.
In this challenge, Facundo got 42 seconds,
and Escorpión, 50 seconds.
ESCORPIÓN
WINNER - $50K
So, the winner is Escorpión Dorado.
If you'd like, you can take a shower.
-No, like this.
-Go change
and we'll have a traditional
Monterrey barbecue.
-A fucking barbecue?
-Yeah, man.
-Fuck yeah.
-We'll have a barbecue.
-With ice-cold beers?
-Ice-cold.
I'll get things ready
-You won't shower?
-No.
Escorpión's performance
was crappy, but he still won.
First a shower and then,
the reason we came to Monterrey.
To eat!
Just don't eat too much
because there's another challenge
and the loser will get punished!
Dude! I thought comedy paid better, man.
I said, "We'll see Franco's house,
with a pool.
-"It'll be cool."
-I'm not taking you to my real house.
I prepared a barbecue. Please, sit.
Wow, a fucking barbecue!
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
A real beer. Cool!
Facundo against Lobo López
Lobo López.
That's his beat. It is what it is.
It's like a cumbia and
Eating some meat
Drinking some beer
Just look, now it's clear
Who's who in this house
I think it's very lonely
Sure, there aren't any buddies
But I got cameras rolling
To tell it to his face
There's nothing dumber
Than a fucking masked diva
I don't like this anymore.
Let's do something else.
What's up?
What's up, Guarumo Dog?
Long time, no see.
Cheers.
To friendship and relaxation.
Don't start with your crap.
This is a friendly barbecue.
I wanna ride the dog.
Intern, intern, intern!
Jaime The Goblin's in the house!
-Let's all fuck the intern!
-Hell yeah!
-No way.
-What the fuck, dude?
What's wrong?
-Get up.
-The chest, sir.
-What chest? What do you mean?
-The chest.
Here it is.
When did the chest get here?
Yesterday, right?
At least it doesn't have bugs, or bombs,
or anthrax.
It's gotta have some breakfast.
Check if there's any.
-A beer.
-I got a notification.
-Who sent you a message?
-Franco Escamilla.
-No way.
-Wasn't he here last night?
I thought he'd make breakfast.
Rise and shine, bitches!
How about last night?
That was some heavy drinking.
You probably forgot,
but there's still one challenge left
and a punishment for the loser.
You say you're good
at soccer, right? We'll see.
Here's the location.
I asked a buddy to keep an eye on you.
Bring your A game
because the punishment for the loser
is going to be harsh.
Soccer now?
MONTERREY, MEXICO
They're headed to the Tigres stadium
to meet a special guest.
They might lose self-esteem,
but at least
they'll get rid of their hangover.
Dude, it's here.
This is your home, your land,
your favorite team.
-I don't love them, but I respect them.
-I hate poor people sports.
Look who's there!
-Is it Piojo Herrera?
-It's Piojo Herrera!
Name: Miguel Herrera.
AKA: Piojo Herrera.
Challenges: Skill.
Reason for revenge: Fake father-in-law.
Piojo comes to have revenge
for all the times
Escorpión called him father-in-law
for no reason.
Grudge level: Seven.
-Father-in-law, how are you?
-Wait.
You're kidding. You can't come
dressed like that to the field.
-We were partying.
-This is a soccer field.
You can't step on the sacred grass
with that shit.
-Why?
-You're the Internet god,
and this is sacred.
He's the soccer god.
Don't mess with me, man.
My buddy Escamilla
-sent you guys to me.
-Are you gonna train us?
We'll challenge your skills,
your ability and fitness level.
Let's see if it's true
First, go change.
-You look ridiculous.
-What's wrong?
-Try to look like athletes.
-Change him for someone else.
Go change, come on. Hurry.
Bye. See you. I'll be here.
Go change, hurry.
Now we'll make Escorpión
and Facundo suffer.
We'll make them sweat buckets.
-I'm ready, Coach.
-Dude, really?
It's what we have.
I told you to change,
but not into costumes.
Okay, dude. We're trying to play it cool.
I chose blue so you'd like me.
-We look sporty, Coach.
-At least you look a bit better.
CHALLENGE: BALLS, CUPS AND LICE
Each participant will don a bubble
and cross the circuit
while Piojo Herrera gives them crap.
At the end, they'll remove the bubble
and bring out their inner Messi
to get the ball
into a giant beer pong cup.
The one who scores the most wins.
Balls, cups, and lice.
-Okay, go! Go!
-Okay, dude.
Let's go!
Ten laps!
Outside the line, idiot.
Six
-Five
-Come one, dude.
One more!
-Damn Facundo, the ball!
-The ball!
Where are you going?
Shoot.
-Nothing!
-Another one.
Spooning.
Back to the beginning. Come on.
Move it, move it! Go!
Careful! You'll trip.
Well done, damn it!
The other way!
Come on! Go, go.
I'm coming, Coach.
-Shoot, dude.
-Watch this.
Nutmeg past Miguel Herrera!
Let's see.
Spooning.
Closer, the second closest ball.
I think Facundo's a bit clumsy.
REPLAY
-Luck's on my side!
-Last try.
I'll have to kick your asses.
Your last fucking chance.
That's it, Facundo. You started really
Well done, Facundo.
Lift your legs, fucking Escorpión!
One.
He's down!
Eight.
Closer, closer.
From here, the first one
to score wins. One at a time.
If he scores, you have one chance.
Get closer, you guys suck.
-No way.
-Nothing.
We'll never finish.
No way!
-A ball, man.
-It went in!
Hairy chest, give me power!
Go in!
He got it. If you don't score,
you'll get punished.
Fuck it up, fuck it up!
-Come on.
-Move it!
Fuck it up, fuck it up!
No pressure.
Victory!
-Victory!
-We have a winner.
No! How many chances did he have?
Thank you!
Officially,
Mr. Facundo has won this challenge.
Thank you!
FACUNDO
WINNER - $50K
Piojo Herrera's raising my hand.
-It's a dream come true.
-Well.
You don't know how it feels.
-Move it.
-It feels great.
-Can you do it again?
-Sure.
-Take a picture!
-Okay.
Now let's hear Franco's message.
-Let's see, Franco!
-Where is he?
What's your message?
-Franco?
-Where's Franco?
Look up there.
I'm dying here.
In case you didn't get it, you're tied.
There should've been a winner,
but you're both so useless
that you both lost.
Since you're both idiots,
let's test something
to see if you get a bit smarter.
We'll tie you to the goalposts
and kick fucking balls at you
to see if you get any better.
My dear Piojo, they're all yours.
Hit them hard with the ball.
Maybe that'll fix them.
A tie? You couple of useless assholes.
Well said, Mr. Escamilla. Are we clear?
PUNISHMEN
Well, as Franco said,
they're tied because they're useless,
and now they'll both get punished.
Franco Escamilla, I hate you!
-Come kick some balls. Come on.
-No!
Bloody hell! A doctor!
-For fuck's sake!
-Release me.
Take that, idiots!
Hit them real hard!
Take that!
Let me go!
Help!
This is so that you stop screaming.
-Enough!
-Keep hitting them!
He's always messing with me.
Bring me this, bring me that.
Escorpión's in the lead
with 150,000 pesos.
And Facundo's now on the board
with 50,000 pesos.
Let's see if he catches up
in the next episode.
The worst hit I got
was the one from this dude.
Look at this.
-I know who did it!
-What a hit.
-I know who!
-They hit you in the arm.
Now you'll get it, asshole.
PRANK OR TANK
-From Monterrey to Huixtla?
-Hell yeah!
I'll give you two challenges.
Come on! Get ready!
-It hurts!
-No fucking way.
You son of a bitch.
"If you want your keys,
follow the arrows."
-Oh, no
-A classic Lola Cortés move.
Goodbye, idiots!
Fuck, fuck!
They went too far. They're huge assholes.
I have my limits.
PRANK OR TANK