Puberty Blues (2012) s01e02 Episode Script
Episode 2
Supertext Captions by Red Bee Media Australia You can't be one of them if you're pashing dickheads from South Cronulla.
Do you think this is working? Yeah, think so.
Hi, Cheryl.
Shut up, moll.
She seemed friendlier.
I thought so.
Still asleep, are we? We are.
Well, that just won't do.
(BOTH LAUGH) Am I really going to be spending the rest of my life drawing food that wears hats? We've got shitloads to do.
That Clemenger stuff has to be brilliant.
You cannot be serious.
And yet, you know I am.
Can I just get sweets? How about you just get a clip around the ears, instead? And then just sweets? Well, you could be sociable.
You could sit with me.
I came to have a good time.
(WHISPERS) How's it goin'? Come here.
Oh, sick.
Unreal.
Except they weren't fleas.
You know what they were? Termites.
He had wooden fillings.
You need to extract the smartarse, and dump it off a cliff somewhere.
Your father's so tired.
He's gonna stay in town.
I'm still gonna go to the club, Mum.
And I reckon you should come too.
Not without your father.
Where are you two going? We're just going to sunbake.
Over there.
She could have got all the horses together and trampled us, if she wanted to.
Exactly.
So cool.
SONG: # See the lady in the streetcar light # Colour a la Toulouse # Television and red, red wine # So, won't you tell me # Won't you tell me the truth? # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? Ooh-ooh # Are you old enough? # Ooh # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? # Hey.
You looked great out there.
"Man puts penis in woman's vagina.
" What? I read that book you have.
What book? 'What's Happening to Me?' "Man puts penis in woman's vagina.
" Get lost.
"He moves it up and down.
" Can you shut up? "This creates friction and the friction causes him to ejaculate.
" Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.
(GIRLS CHATTER AND LAUGH) BOY: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! BOY: What are you doing? (LAUGHS) Whoo! (LAUGHS) What's that? Science test.
Butyou'll get busted.
You can see it.
Yeah, I want it to show a bit.
Cheryl does it all the time.
Yeah, right.
(TYPEWRITER CLATTERS) Hi.
Hello.
Oh, I'm Annie.
Yes.
I'm Martin Vickers.
Oh, you're the head researcher.
Yes.
Oh I hope you'll be happy working here.
Oh, I'm sure I will be.
I just read it in a book! I can't believe you said that.
Ow, stop hitting me! Ow! How dare you? David's getting bullied.
You're disgusting! You don't know what you're talking about.
Get off me! Get away from me.
What's going on? I don't know.
She's a weirdo.
He told me he was going to put his penis in my vagina.
He doesn't know what he's talking about.
Yeah, I do.
Just shut up and leave her alone, alright? And yours looked better when it looked like a bum.
I hate you.
Hey! Wipe it off, you slack bitch.
Get lost.
I said, wipe it off! Or I'll make ya.
So make me.
BOY: Cat fight! Cat fight! ALL: (CHANT) Cat fight! Cat fight! Cat fight! Cat fight! What are you standing there for? You don't own the bus.
(KIDS CHEER AND YELL) Cheryl! Debbie! Just stop it! Get off! Debbie! (BRAKES SCREECH) In your seats now! Let go.
ALL: Whoa.
GIRL: Go, Cheryl.
(KIDS JEER) Nice one, Cheryl! (BELL RINGS) Susan Knight and Deborah Vickers.
Stand up.
BOYS: Ooooh.
Pull up your dresses.
Oh, sir! You heard what I said.
And the rest of you, get on with your exam.
Deborah.
Principal's office.
Now! STUDENTS: Oooh.
Show us your knickers, Vickers! See ya later.
(SNIGGERS) Oh, my God.
My bum was tingling, I was so scared.
I thought we were gonna get caned.
Hey.
Vicki and Cheryl want to see you.
Rita? Rack off.
(LAUGHS) Did you dob? Nuh.
Bullshit.
Did she ask you? Yeah.
Debbie said she saw Marcia do it on 'The Brady Bunch'.
Thought I was gonna piss myself laughing.
Mrs Grantham said we were a shame and a disgrace.
She's a dead shit.
(GIRL CHUCKLES) (PHONE RINGS) Hello.
Hello, darl.
It's your husband here.
Got 10 minutes before my meeting.
Thought I'd ring.
You checking up on me? I just wanted to make sure you're not bored.
I just wanted to make sure you're not bored.
No, I'm not bored.
What are ya doing? I'm making myself a well-deserved Harvey Wallbanger after a bloody hard tennis lesson.
Then I think I might go and lay out by the pool.
Nude, I suppose? Why do you suppose that? I've noticed the strap marks disappearing.
Oh, that's very perceptive of you.
It's among one of my better qualities.
Well, if you're lucky, I might even pull out my Margaret Fulton and make my husband a special dinner tonight.
Oh, I'm liking the new you.
Oh, I'm liking the new me too.
Anyway, gotta run.
Bye.
Bye-bye, now.
(BELL RINGS) Should we follow them down? I guess.
Raquel! Are you goin' down to the pipes? Yeah.
Reckon Mr Kenny was checking you out? No.
That's what Vicki said.
You can't come to the pipes.
Just because you cheated doesn't make you one of us.
We weren't going to the pipes anyway.
We were going to the shops.
You chicks are so lame.
She is such a bitch.
I can't believe we didn't dob on her.
What are we gonna do now, huh? Far out! What are you doing? Thinking.
Oh, lucky you.
Are you getting out? Yes.
What were you thinking about? Do you like tennis? I Yes, I like watching it.
Good day at work? How was your day? Busy.
I'm already looking forward to the weekend.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) Rise and shine, little lady.
It's Saturday.
Well, we wanna spend the day with you.
If it's sunny, I'm going to the beach.
We thought we'd all go down to the tennis club.
That's your idea of spending the day together? Oh, come on.
You go.
I'll sleep.
Well, we're leaving in half an hour.
You can't make me.
I'll make you.
Well, what am I gonna do there? I can't watch you play tennis.
I'm not nine.
We're leaving in half an hour.
Great shot, Yvonne! She's a shy little thing, but she rips into it when she's out there, doesn't she? I know.
She is ferocious.
Get us a couple of shandies, will you, darl? Is that why you wanted me to come? So I could be your slave? Well, two years ago you did everything you could for me.
That's because I was a kid and I didn't know any better.
Well, you're still a kid.
Did you just roll your eyes at me? Yes.
I'm not a kid, and you can't trap me here.
Oh, she's seen through my evil plan.
Does that mean I can go over to Debbie's? Oh, you two spend your whole lives together.
So? There.
Using 20 cents for the phone.
Now, that's the attitude of a teenager.
You got it.
Finally.
Oh, the cheek of her! (PHONE RINGS) It'll be for me.
Hello.
Just a moment, Sue.
Hi.
Wait.
Mum? Can Sue come over? Yes.
Why not spend the day together? You've spent Monday to Friday in each other's company, and then called each other every night.
Thanks! Now, you're gonna have to flip a coin, because there's no way I'm gonna choose between you two.
(ALL LAUGH) Shit.
MAN: What time is it? Beer o'clock, mate.
Pammy, you up for one? Ah, I think I'll wait 'til after my game, darling.
I'm happy to drink during my game.
I find it helps.
I'm going, Mum.
Dad.
Bye, Sue.
Mum Hey, can I have some money? I don't have any on me.
Oh, you don't have any change? Well, I have some in my bag, but Where's your bag? It's in the Well, can I grab some? 'Cause we're gonna go to the store.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, my God! It was like time completely froze.
I couldn't even move.
Neither of us could.
And did he say anything? "Hi.
" Oh, it was so embarrassing! I think we should try and hang with the Greenhills again.
No way.
It's a sign! He said hello to you.
Vicki's really nice to us.
It's just Cheryl.
Oh, my God.
Sue.
You gotta start doing the drawback.
It makes me feel sick.
Just do it again.
It gets easier.
The more you do it the If you dob, you're dead.
What'll you give me? Piss off, David.
I'm dobbing.
Wait.
One.
Come back here, you little shit! Come back here, you little shit! Hello, hello.
There's no more beer.
Have we drank it all? You did, mate.
Well, I think that I might just call it a day.
Oh, come on, Roger.
You've always got plenty of booze at your house.
Sure.
Sounds like a bloody good reason to come back, then.
Yvonne? Oh, well, thanks, Pam, but notnot tonight.
Come on, we'd love to have you over.
We could fire up the barbie.
That's very nice of you, but I think that Ferris is probably waiting for me to get home.
What's your number? We can't have Yvonne going home.
Now Ferris can join us.
Come on.
What's your bloody number? Yeah, come on, it'll be fun.
Be good for you.
It's 527 .
.
9392.
JOHNNY YOUNG: (ON TV) All the guests are just about to arrive, all the Young Talent Time family.
And I think it's just about time to start the show.
Oh, my goodness, the show's started already.
Wow.
We're just going over to Sue's.
Wait a second.
Why are you going over to Sue's? We've been here all afternoon.
Come in here, so I can see you.
Have you got make-up on? Yeah, we were just playing around.
Oh, alright.
Just be back here before 9:00.
Oh, can I stay the night? Have you tidied up your room? Yes.
Alright.
See you tomorrow.
(CAR APPROACHES AND STOPS) Oh, my God! What a day.
I can't wait to get my bloody feet up.
Get me a beer, will you? Where are you going? Miranda Fair.
Are you meeting someone or? No-one in particular.
Look at all those split ends! I've got my scissors with me.
We'll do a quick I'm late.
Well, hey, how was Nathan today? He's in his cot.
Nathan? Nathan, my little boy! Hello.
(GURGLES) Hey.
Hi.
Come on.
He said, "Welcome to Barbados and have a nice holiday.
" I love it.
That is Australia's greatest So, where's Sue? She's staying the night at Debbie's, darling.
Oh, great! Another Scotch there, mate? Just point me in the right direction, mate.
I can do better than point.
Follow me.
You are gorgeous.
Watch out for that one, mate.
Oh, really? Husband? No, she's a nympho.
And a whole lot of trouble.
Sounds like a pretty good combination.
Pity I'm taken.
Say when.
Vicki! Who's that chick over there? Debbie.
She's kind of hot.
She's alright.
Oi, you shouldn't be here.
BOY: What you gonna do about it? Huh? Shit, this is bad.
What are you gonna do? Can we get out of here? We only just got here.
Fine.
He fuckin' started it.
Chill out.
Gary.
Are you going? Yes.
Why? Got to get out of here.
Got to get out of here.
Truth or dare? Truth.
Most exciting moment you've ever had with a guy.
I dunno.
Something you've never even told me.
Last year with Cal.
That Bankie guy? Ho! He told me I was the best pasher.
And then he titted me off.
He titted you off?! How come you never told me that? (LAUGHS) What'd it feel like? I don't know.
It was like a tingle.
All over.
Like good tingling or bad tingling? Really good.
Dead set.
Dead set.
Did you go any further with him? No! (LAUGHS) You didn't? No.
Hey, Boardy.
Gazza.
I'll have a bag, mate.
Thanks, mate.
('JUMP IN MY CAR' BY TED MULRY GANG PLAYS) Can I do something to help? Oh, no.
I think I've got everything under control.
I can see that.
Vonnie wouldn't be able to cope with something like this.
Oh, I'm sure she copes with other things.
Yeah, she does.
Like you, for instance.
I think you know what I'm talking about.
You don't pull any punches do you? (LAUGHS) Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Oh, no, I'm not offended.
I love a bit of fire in a woman.
Good, 'cause I think we need to liven this party up a bit.
Do you know how to make a Harvey Wallbanger? Like no-one else.
Brilliant.
There's the orange juice, and .
.
one pack of cards.
Oh, hello.
Not bad, not bad.
All I have is two fours Oh, no! Oh, but three aces.
Oh, no! (LAUGHTER) Here we go.
Take something off.
Come on! ALL CHANT: Off! Off! Off! Off.
Get it off! ALL CHANT: Off! Off! Off! Cheeky, cheeky, cheeky monkey.
Cheeky, cheeky.
That is quite disappointing.
(LAUGHS) Shh! (PEOPLE SHOUT AND CHEER) (LOUD CHEERING) Hello? Well played, old dick.
Well played.
Hello? Oh, no.
It's the kids! What's going on? Well, we're playing strip Jack naked.
Oh, of course.
We thought you were staying atat Debbie's.
Well, we decided to come here.
You didn't walk home, did you? You know I don't like you walking home this late.
It's very, very dangerous.
Well, not as dangerous as walking in here.
(LAUGHS) Run, girls! I think you scared them off.
Oh, get dressed.
Hey! MAN: Hello! Hello! (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) I was justI I got toothpaste on the mirror.
So you're licking it off? It tastes good.
Probably should get a lock for the door.
And you, Lutjanus sebae, are perfectly average.
I don't know whether this makes you happy or sad.
Depends on your philosophy, I suppose.
Martin, we're doing Janet's birthday cake.
OK.
I'll be right along.
(BELL RINGS) Hey.
Hey.
You coming down the pipes? Yeah.
So you know Boardy, right? The Captain Creamy guy? Nah, his brother, Bruce.
He likes you.
He's pretty hot.
And, like, one of the best surfers.
And he has a panel van.
Wow.
He's meetin' us down the pipes.
Right.
OK.
That's him.
Oh, my God.
You are so lucky.
Do I look alright? Yeah.
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) BRUCE: Hey.
Hey.
D'you know who I am? Yeah.
Get into her, mate.
Piss off.
(BOYS JEER) Wanna go round with me? Yeah.
Whoo! (KIDS JEER) DEBBIE: He's got really good hair.
Yeah.
He's so great.
I think I've got beard rash.
Oh, my God.
I know I keep on saying it but you're so lucky.
I can't believe he likes me.
Who are you talking to? Hang on a sec.
What? You've been on the phone for over an hour.
What if Dad is trying to call? Well, I'm talking to Sue.
You saw her all day at school.
Can you stop going on about that, Mum? This is really important.
Well, you can talk to her about it tomorrow.
Do you have to go? Just hang on a sec.
Alright.
I'm just gonna get my ice-cream.
No, Sue.
You can't eat ice-cream anymore.
You gotta look really good for the beach on Saturday.
Yeah, you're right.
You're late.
What? (WHISPERS) Our daughter's here.
Oh, my God.
What? My parents are acting really weird.
Turn off your light.
Why? Why do you think? What? Can you kiss it? You want me to suck your cock? Say it to me.
Say it.
I want you to suck it.
I want you to suck it.
(BOTH GIGGLE) Stop it.
Bruce! Hey.
Hi.
What took you so long? It's a long walk up the beach.
You should've told me.
I would've picked you up.
Sit down.
You coming for another surf, Bruce? Yeah.
It's pretty choppy.
Why do people hate talking about sex? Do they? Yeah.
And especially girls.
Well, I think it embarrasses people.
Well, that's dumb.
Why? 'Cause it's how you make a baby.
Well, yes, but it's very private.
But everyone has babies, so everyone does it.
It's like eating.
Everyone does that, and that's not embarrassing.
Yes, but sex is private.
It happens behind closed doors.
It's like going to the toilet.
But you see me going to the toilet all the time.
And at school they have those urinals, and we can see each other there too.
Right, yes.
It's slightly different to going to the toilet.
It's probably best if you talk about these things with your mother.
Jesus! (GENTLE MUSIC, LOW LEVEL CONVERSATION) Supertext Captions by Red Bee Media Australia Supertext Captions by Red Bee Media Australia
Do you think this is working? Yeah, think so.
Hi, Cheryl.
Shut up, moll.
She seemed friendlier.
I thought so.
Still asleep, are we? We are.
Well, that just won't do.
(BOTH LAUGH) Am I really going to be spending the rest of my life drawing food that wears hats? We've got shitloads to do.
That Clemenger stuff has to be brilliant.
You cannot be serious.
And yet, you know I am.
Can I just get sweets? How about you just get a clip around the ears, instead? And then just sweets? Well, you could be sociable.
You could sit with me.
I came to have a good time.
(WHISPERS) How's it goin'? Come here.
Oh, sick.
Unreal.
Except they weren't fleas.
You know what they were? Termites.
He had wooden fillings.
You need to extract the smartarse, and dump it off a cliff somewhere.
Your father's so tired.
He's gonna stay in town.
I'm still gonna go to the club, Mum.
And I reckon you should come too.
Not without your father.
Where are you two going? We're just going to sunbake.
Over there.
She could have got all the horses together and trampled us, if she wanted to.
Exactly.
So cool.
SONG: # See the lady in the streetcar light # Colour a la Toulouse # Television and red, red wine # So, won't you tell me # Won't you tell me the truth? # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? Ooh-ooh # Are you old enough? # Ooh # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? # Are you old enough? # Hey.
You looked great out there.
"Man puts penis in woman's vagina.
" What? I read that book you have.
What book? 'What's Happening to Me?' "Man puts penis in woman's vagina.
" Get lost.
"He moves it up and down.
" Can you shut up? "This creates friction and the friction causes him to ejaculate.
" Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.
(GIRLS CHATTER AND LAUGH) BOY: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! BOY: What are you doing? (LAUGHS) Whoo! (LAUGHS) What's that? Science test.
Butyou'll get busted.
You can see it.
Yeah, I want it to show a bit.
Cheryl does it all the time.
Yeah, right.
(TYPEWRITER CLATTERS) Hi.
Hello.
Oh, I'm Annie.
Yes.
I'm Martin Vickers.
Oh, you're the head researcher.
Yes.
Oh I hope you'll be happy working here.
Oh, I'm sure I will be.
I just read it in a book! I can't believe you said that.
Ow, stop hitting me! Ow! How dare you? David's getting bullied.
You're disgusting! You don't know what you're talking about.
Get off me! Get away from me.
What's going on? I don't know.
She's a weirdo.
He told me he was going to put his penis in my vagina.
He doesn't know what he's talking about.
Yeah, I do.
Just shut up and leave her alone, alright? And yours looked better when it looked like a bum.
I hate you.
Hey! Wipe it off, you slack bitch.
Get lost.
I said, wipe it off! Or I'll make ya.
So make me.
BOY: Cat fight! Cat fight! ALL: (CHANT) Cat fight! Cat fight! Cat fight! Cat fight! What are you standing there for? You don't own the bus.
(KIDS CHEER AND YELL) Cheryl! Debbie! Just stop it! Get off! Debbie! (BRAKES SCREECH) In your seats now! Let go.
ALL: Whoa.
GIRL: Go, Cheryl.
(KIDS JEER) Nice one, Cheryl! (BELL RINGS) Susan Knight and Deborah Vickers.
Stand up.
BOYS: Ooooh.
Pull up your dresses.
Oh, sir! You heard what I said.
And the rest of you, get on with your exam.
Deborah.
Principal's office.
Now! STUDENTS: Oooh.
Show us your knickers, Vickers! See ya later.
(SNIGGERS) Oh, my God.
My bum was tingling, I was so scared.
I thought we were gonna get caned.
Hey.
Vicki and Cheryl want to see you.
Rita? Rack off.
(LAUGHS) Did you dob? Nuh.
Bullshit.
Did she ask you? Yeah.
Debbie said she saw Marcia do it on 'The Brady Bunch'.
Thought I was gonna piss myself laughing.
Mrs Grantham said we were a shame and a disgrace.
She's a dead shit.
(GIRL CHUCKLES) (PHONE RINGS) Hello.
Hello, darl.
It's your husband here.
Got 10 minutes before my meeting.
Thought I'd ring.
You checking up on me? I just wanted to make sure you're not bored.
I just wanted to make sure you're not bored.
No, I'm not bored.
What are ya doing? I'm making myself a well-deserved Harvey Wallbanger after a bloody hard tennis lesson.
Then I think I might go and lay out by the pool.
Nude, I suppose? Why do you suppose that? I've noticed the strap marks disappearing.
Oh, that's very perceptive of you.
It's among one of my better qualities.
Well, if you're lucky, I might even pull out my Margaret Fulton and make my husband a special dinner tonight.
Oh, I'm liking the new you.
Oh, I'm liking the new me too.
Anyway, gotta run.
Bye.
Bye-bye, now.
(BELL RINGS) Should we follow them down? I guess.
Raquel! Are you goin' down to the pipes? Yeah.
Reckon Mr Kenny was checking you out? No.
That's what Vicki said.
You can't come to the pipes.
Just because you cheated doesn't make you one of us.
We weren't going to the pipes anyway.
We were going to the shops.
You chicks are so lame.
She is such a bitch.
I can't believe we didn't dob on her.
What are we gonna do now, huh? Far out! What are you doing? Thinking.
Oh, lucky you.
Are you getting out? Yes.
What were you thinking about? Do you like tennis? I Yes, I like watching it.
Good day at work? How was your day? Busy.
I'm already looking forward to the weekend.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) Rise and shine, little lady.
It's Saturday.
Well, we wanna spend the day with you.
If it's sunny, I'm going to the beach.
We thought we'd all go down to the tennis club.
That's your idea of spending the day together? Oh, come on.
You go.
I'll sleep.
Well, we're leaving in half an hour.
You can't make me.
I'll make you.
Well, what am I gonna do there? I can't watch you play tennis.
I'm not nine.
We're leaving in half an hour.
Great shot, Yvonne! She's a shy little thing, but she rips into it when she's out there, doesn't she? I know.
She is ferocious.
Get us a couple of shandies, will you, darl? Is that why you wanted me to come? So I could be your slave? Well, two years ago you did everything you could for me.
That's because I was a kid and I didn't know any better.
Well, you're still a kid.
Did you just roll your eyes at me? Yes.
I'm not a kid, and you can't trap me here.
Oh, she's seen through my evil plan.
Does that mean I can go over to Debbie's? Oh, you two spend your whole lives together.
So? There.
Using 20 cents for the phone.
Now, that's the attitude of a teenager.
You got it.
Finally.
Oh, the cheek of her! (PHONE RINGS) It'll be for me.
Hello.
Just a moment, Sue.
Hi.
Wait.
Mum? Can Sue come over? Yes.
Why not spend the day together? You've spent Monday to Friday in each other's company, and then called each other every night.
Thanks! Now, you're gonna have to flip a coin, because there's no way I'm gonna choose between you two.
(ALL LAUGH) Shit.
MAN: What time is it? Beer o'clock, mate.
Pammy, you up for one? Ah, I think I'll wait 'til after my game, darling.
I'm happy to drink during my game.
I find it helps.
I'm going, Mum.
Dad.
Bye, Sue.
Mum Hey, can I have some money? I don't have any on me.
Oh, you don't have any change? Well, I have some in my bag, but Where's your bag? It's in the Well, can I grab some? 'Cause we're gonna go to the store.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, my God! It was like time completely froze.
I couldn't even move.
Neither of us could.
And did he say anything? "Hi.
" Oh, it was so embarrassing! I think we should try and hang with the Greenhills again.
No way.
It's a sign! He said hello to you.
Vicki's really nice to us.
It's just Cheryl.
Oh, my God.
Sue.
You gotta start doing the drawback.
It makes me feel sick.
Just do it again.
It gets easier.
The more you do it the If you dob, you're dead.
What'll you give me? Piss off, David.
I'm dobbing.
Wait.
One.
Come back here, you little shit! Come back here, you little shit! Hello, hello.
There's no more beer.
Have we drank it all? You did, mate.
Well, I think that I might just call it a day.
Oh, come on, Roger.
You've always got plenty of booze at your house.
Sure.
Sounds like a bloody good reason to come back, then.
Yvonne? Oh, well, thanks, Pam, but notnot tonight.
Come on, we'd love to have you over.
We could fire up the barbie.
That's very nice of you, but I think that Ferris is probably waiting for me to get home.
What's your number? We can't have Yvonne going home.
Now Ferris can join us.
Come on.
What's your bloody number? Yeah, come on, it'll be fun.
Be good for you.
It's 527 .
.
9392.
JOHNNY YOUNG: (ON TV) All the guests are just about to arrive, all the Young Talent Time family.
And I think it's just about time to start the show.
Oh, my goodness, the show's started already.
Wow.
We're just going over to Sue's.
Wait a second.
Why are you going over to Sue's? We've been here all afternoon.
Come in here, so I can see you.
Have you got make-up on? Yeah, we were just playing around.
Oh, alright.
Just be back here before 9:00.
Oh, can I stay the night? Have you tidied up your room? Yes.
Alright.
See you tomorrow.
(CAR APPROACHES AND STOPS) Oh, my God! What a day.
I can't wait to get my bloody feet up.
Get me a beer, will you? Where are you going? Miranda Fair.
Are you meeting someone or? No-one in particular.
Look at all those split ends! I've got my scissors with me.
We'll do a quick I'm late.
Well, hey, how was Nathan today? He's in his cot.
Nathan? Nathan, my little boy! Hello.
(GURGLES) Hey.
Hi.
Come on.
He said, "Welcome to Barbados and have a nice holiday.
" I love it.
That is Australia's greatest So, where's Sue? She's staying the night at Debbie's, darling.
Oh, great! Another Scotch there, mate? Just point me in the right direction, mate.
I can do better than point.
Follow me.
You are gorgeous.
Watch out for that one, mate.
Oh, really? Husband? No, she's a nympho.
And a whole lot of trouble.
Sounds like a pretty good combination.
Pity I'm taken.
Say when.
Vicki! Who's that chick over there? Debbie.
She's kind of hot.
She's alright.
Oi, you shouldn't be here.
BOY: What you gonna do about it? Huh? Shit, this is bad.
What are you gonna do? Can we get out of here? We only just got here.
Fine.
He fuckin' started it.
Chill out.
Gary.
Are you going? Yes.
Why? Got to get out of here.
Got to get out of here.
Truth or dare? Truth.
Most exciting moment you've ever had with a guy.
I dunno.
Something you've never even told me.
Last year with Cal.
That Bankie guy? Ho! He told me I was the best pasher.
And then he titted me off.
He titted you off?! How come you never told me that? (LAUGHS) What'd it feel like? I don't know.
It was like a tingle.
All over.
Like good tingling or bad tingling? Really good.
Dead set.
Dead set.
Did you go any further with him? No! (LAUGHS) You didn't? No.
Hey, Boardy.
Gazza.
I'll have a bag, mate.
Thanks, mate.
('JUMP IN MY CAR' BY TED MULRY GANG PLAYS) Can I do something to help? Oh, no.
I think I've got everything under control.
I can see that.
Vonnie wouldn't be able to cope with something like this.
Oh, I'm sure she copes with other things.
Yeah, she does.
Like you, for instance.
I think you know what I'm talking about.
You don't pull any punches do you? (LAUGHS) Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Oh, no, I'm not offended.
I love a bit of fire in a woman.
Good, 'cause I think we need to liven this party up a bit.
Do you know how to make a Harvey Wallbanger? Like no-one else.
Brilliant.
There's the orange juice, and .
.
one pack of cards.
Oh, hello.
Not bad, not bad.
All I have is two fours Oh, no! Oh, but three aces.
Oh, no! (LAUGHTER) Here we go.
Take something off.
Come on! ALL CHANT: Off! Off! Off! Off.
Get it off! ALL CHANT: Off! Off! Off! Cheeky, cheeky, cheeky monkey.
Cheeky, cheeky.
That is quite disappointing.
(LAUGHS) Shh! (PEOPLE SHOUT AND CHEER) (LOUD CHEERING) Hello? Well played, old dick.
Well played.
Hello? Oh, no.
It's the kids! What's going on? Well, we're playing strip Jack naked.
Oh, of course.
We thought you were staying atat Debbie's.
Well, we decided to come here.
You didn't walk home, did you? You know I don't like you walking home this late.
It's very, very dangerous.
Well, not as dangerous as walking in here.
(LAUGHS) Run, girls! I think you scared them off.
Oh, get dressed.
Hey! MAN: Hello! Hello! (LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER) I was justI I got toothpaste on the mirror.
So you're licking it off? It tastes good.
Probably should get a lock for the door.
And you, Lutjanus sebae, are perfectly average.
I don't know whether this makes you happy or sad.
Depends on your philosophy, I suppose.
Martin, we're doing Janet's birthday cake.
OK.
I'll be right along.
(BELL RINGS) Hey.
Hey.
You coming down the pipes? Yeah.
So you know Boardy, right? The Captain Creamy guy? Nah, his brother, Bruce.
He likes you.
He's pretty hot.
And, like, one of the best surfers.
And he has a panel van.
Wow.
He's meetin' us down the pipes.
Right.
OK.
That's him.
Oh, my God.
You are so lucky.
Do I look alright? Yeah.
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) BRUCE: Hey.
Hey.
D'you know who I am? Yeah.
Get into her, mate.
Piss off.
(BOYS JEER) Wanna go round with me? Yeah.
Whoo! (KIDS JEER) DEBBIE: He's got really good hair.
Yeah.
He's so great.
I think I've got beard rash.
Oh, my God.
I know I keep on saying it but you're so lucky.
I can't believe he likes me.
Who are you talking to? Hang on a sec.
What? You've been on the phone for over an hour.
What if Dad is trying to call? Well, I'm talking to Sue.
You saw her all day at school.
Can you stop going on about that, Mum? This is really important.
Well, you can talk to her about it tomorrow.
Do you have to go? Just hang on a sec.
Alright.
I'm just gonna get my ice-cream.
No, Sue.
You can't eat ice-cream anymore.
You gotta look really good for the beach on Saturday.
Yeah, you're right.
You're late.
What? (WHISPERS) Our daughter's here.
Oh, my God.
What? My parents are acting really weird.
Turn off your light.
Why? Why do you think? What? Can you kiss it? You want me to suck your cock? Say it to me.
Say it.
I want you to suck it.
I want you to suck it.
(BOTH GIGGLE) Stop it.
Bruce! Hey.
Hi.
What took you so long? It's a long walk up the beach.
You should've told me.
I would've picked you up.
Sit down.
You coming for another surf, Bruce? Yeah.
It's pretty choppy.
Why do people hate talking about sex? Do they? Yeah.
And especially girls.
Well, I think it embarrasses people.
Well, that's dumb.
Why? 'Cause it's how you make a baby.
Well, yes, but it's very private.
But everyone has babies, so everyone does it.
It's like eating.
Everyone does that, and that's not embarrassing.
Yes, but sex is private.
It happens behind closed doors.
It's like going to the toilet.
But you see me going to the toilet all the time.
And at school they have those urinals, and we can see each other there too.
Right, yes.
It's slightly different to going to the toilet.
It's probably best if you talk about these things with your mother.
Jesus! (GENTLE MUSIC, LOW LEVEL CONVERSATION) Supertext Captions by Red Bee Media Australia Supertext Captions by Red Bee Media Australia