Punky Brewster (2021) s01e02 Episode Script

1
- Ooh ♪
[singer vocalizing]
[gentle acoustic guitar music]
♪
- [sighs]
Ah!
Ah!
Ooh!
I'll just sleep down here.
- Shh!
- I'm trying to sleep, lady.
- Hey! ♪
[upbeat music]
Hey! Hey! ♪
- Every time
I turn around ♪
- Hey! Hey! ♪
Hey! Hey! ♪
- [sighs]
I'm making pancakes!
Not making pancakes!
- I just think
you'd feel better
if you made your bed
in the morning.
- I feel better if you'd stop
telling me how to feel better.
- You know I can't do that.
- Did your voice change?
- [voice cracks]
No, and my pit hair count
is still only three.
- Uh, Izzy, you're in my chair.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know
we had assigned seats.
- We don't, sweetie.
They're all the same, Daniel.
[Daniel sighs]
- My butt says otherwise.
- I didn't know your butt
could talk.
- So can yours.
It was really chatty
at 3:00 a.m.
- Izzy, can you pass
the Choco Wheats?
You ate all the Chocos.
These are nothing but wheats!
It's anarchy!
- Dude, relax.
It's just cereal.
You don't have to freak
Where's the bacon?
- Dude, relax.
It's just bacon.
- Both of you dudes, relax.
We're still working out
the kinks.
- You guys, please.
If you use all the TP,
put out a new one.
- My bad, I'm kind of
out of it this morning
'cause somebody
is a snorer.
- I slept long enough to snore?
- Let me fix your hair.
You've got bedhead.
Not as bad as Mom's.
- Technically,
I've got floor head.
- I don't hate this.
Thanks, Hannah.
- You're my boo.
- What?
It took me three years
to get to boo status.
She's only been here
three weeks!
- You guys okay?
Diego texted me 911.
- Yeah.
We're out of bacon.
- Dude!
You send an emergency text,
you better be bleeding
or trapped
in the trunk of a car.
- You got here really fast.
You must've been
at Emoji's house.
- Her name is Emily,
and she would give
that nickname a frowny cat.
- Oh, you know what,
now that you're here,
can you actually
take Izzy to school?
- Or theme park, your call.
- I know it's not your day,
and I know she's not your kid,
but I'm desperate,
and you have a car.
I've got
three school drop-offs now.
- It's no problem.
I'm off the road for a while,
so I can do
the whole "dad thing."
- Good, 'cause you're a dad.
You don't need "air quotes."
- Let's roll, Izzy.
- Have a good day, Iz.
- Punky lets me get doughnuts
on my way to school.
- This ain't
my first rodeo, kid.
- Okay, family meeting.
Izzy can't sleep
in my bed anymore,
so whose room is she gonna
Both:
Not it!
- This conversation isn't over!
Both:
Yeah, it is!
- They are so immature.
[upbeat music]
♪
- Is this a lag bolt,
a flange bolt,
or just a screw
with a weird neck thingy?
- These instructions
should've came with Xanax.
- I want to finish
before Izzy gets home.
Poor kid doesn't have a room
or her own bed yet.
I want her to have something
to make her feel at home.
- I knew placing Izzy with you
was the right choice.
She needs a good hugger
in her life.
- I see so much of myself
in that kid.
But I gotta be honest,
it's been a little bumpy.
Not just for Izzy,
but for the other kids too.
- Well, you need to remember
to take care of you.
There is a reason
why they tell you
to put on
your oxygen mask first.
- I know she's just one kid,
and she's pretty small,
but there's more cooking,
more cleaning,
my mom called,
there's more homework.
There's
- Your mama called?
- Yeah.
It was actually
a few weeks ago.
Ouch! Use your words.
- Sorry.
I just can't believe you've
been sitting on this news.
- Now every time the phone
rings, I think it's her.
I always wondered what deep,
philosophical thing
I would say.
Turns out it was,
"Where the hell have you been
for the last 36 years?"
- You said that?
- Yeah.
There was so many questions
I wanted to ask.
Were you in a coma,
kidnapped, in a cult?
Did you forget
where you parked the car?
- The only excuse I'll accept
is a alien abduction.
- But I heard her voice
and couldn't ask any of them.
I just told her
I'd call her back and hung up.
Still haven't called her back.
Am I a bad person?
- No.
The woman abandoned you
in a grocery store parking lot.
It is okay not to have
her number on speed dial.
But you know what, why don't
you give me that number?
'Cause I got
a few choice words for her.
But first, come here.
- Be careful.
That's where
my best friend whacked me.
- [laughs]
I'm sorry.
[mellow guitar music]
- [groans]
Slow down.
My feet are hurting.
- Why aren't you
wearing sneakers?
- Um, because I haven't
given up on life.
[sighs]
Why didn't Mom pick us up
like she usually does?
- She said something came up.
- It's not like Mom
to make us trek
the mean streets of Chicago
with no warning.
- Dude, it's three blocks
alongside a park.
- Not only that, usually,
she puts a note
on my lunch bag
and signs it with a heart.
Today, it was just a smudge.
Talk about phoning it in.
- Ah, get used to it.
You're not the baby anymore.
You're a middle child now.
- I'm not a middle.
Oh, my gosh!
Izzy made me a middle child.
- Oh, don't sweat it.
It's not all bad
being a mid kid.
Nobody pays attention to you,
so it's easier
to get away with stuff.
- I don't wanna
get away with stuff.
- It's awesome!
I haven't brushed my teeth
in three whole weeks,
and nobody noticed.
- I brush your teeth
while you sleep.
You're welcome.
♪
- This is for me?
- Yep.
And these four extra screws.
- I've never had
my own dresser before.
Look at all these drawers!
Who am I, a Kardashian?
I'ma go grab my clothes
in the microwave
where I've been keeping them.
- Ahem.
- See? Invisible.
- We're home.
We walked the whole way
with our feet.
- Oh, hey.
I didn't hear you come in.
Look what I built!
- Cool dresser.
- It's for Izzy.
- [sighs]
- Always for the baby.
- I had a good day
at school today.
I got an A on my math quiz.
- Fantastic.
- See? Not invisible.
- I'm gonna go, uh, grab a beer
and go shoot off
some bottle rockets.
- Knock yourself out.
- You heard her.
Mama said knock you out.
- No!
[upbeat music]
- Welcome to your
guided meditation.
Let's start by bringing
awareness to your heart space.
Breathe in for four.
- [inhaling]
- Three. Two.
- [slurping]
What the heck are you doing?
- Can't talk, meditating.
- Got it.
What's meditating?
- Tuning out distractions.
- How's that
working out for you?
[slurping]
- Not so good.
Can you give me 10 minutes?
[inhales]
I'm focusing on my breathing.
- How hard is that?
I've been doing it
since I was a baby.
[relaxing Zen music]
♪
- Oh, would you look at that?
Plaid and stripes together?
What is going on with me?
Have I lost my mind?
Look at that, untucked.
Wow!
What's next?
[belches]
Yup, taking a walk
on the wild side.
- Are you kidding me?
- No!
- This goes in your room!
- It goes in your room.
[both grunt]
- Mom! Tell Diego to stop!
- Tell Hannah to stop!
- Everybody, stop!
We need to have a talk.
Except Izzy.
You can go watch TV in my room.
- I get it.
You're all gonna talk about me.
- No.
Okay, we need
to talk about Izzy.
She needs more
than just a dresser.
She needs a room.
- I agree, but we already
share a room,
and Hannah doesn't,
So Izzy should share with her.
It's just math.
- I can't share a room
because I don't want to.
- Well, we need privacy
to do boy stuff.
- What kind of boy stuff?
No, I don't want to know.
- I have girl stuff.
How am I ever supposed
to make out with a boy?
- Thank you for flagging that.
New rule: boys are not allowed
in your room
with the door closed.
- What? Uh
I'm sorry, I love Izzy,
but she's only seven,
and I'm an adult teenager.
She goes to bed
when I'm texting my friends
and practicing TikTok dances.
I mean, doing my homework.
- You don't need to make space
for Izzy in the apartment.
You need to make space for her
in your hearts.
[kids groan]
- Sorry, but my heart
belongs to Timothée Chalamet.
- What about Jordan?
- We're not a thing anymore.
- Why?
- 'Cause he was jealous
of my relationship
with Timothée Chalamet.
The real problem
is this apartment.
It's too small.
We need to get a bigger place.
- In this neighborhood?
You know how lucky we are
that Henry left us
this apartment?
- If we got a new place,
we could all get our own rooms.
- I call the biggest room
since I make the biggest mess.
- No way, I'm the oldest
so I get the biggest room.
- Come on!
- That makes no sense!
- I would like to have
a rational conversation
about this,
but obviously, we can't.
Everybody, go to your rooms.
- Please don't fight over me.
I don't want to be any trouble.
I can just sleep in my dresser.
This is totally going to work.
Can somebody push me in?
- Don't you dare.
I'm going to fix this.
- It's actually
pretty cozy in here.
I can't wait
to have a sleepover.
[melancholy music]
♪
- Kids, can you come out here?
I heard what you said about
this place being too small,
so I reached out
to my realtor friend,
and she found us
an amazing new place to live.
- Oh, my God, yes.
I better be getting
my own room.
- I would love my own bathroom.
I'm tired of stepping
in mystery puddles.
- It's pee.
- I just want
what all kids want:
heated floors
and a steam shower.
- Well, let's go see.
- Oh, yes!
- Let's go!
- I'm so excited!
- Yeah!
- Get in the car.
- I call third row.
[car beeps]
- I can't wait to see
this new place.
- Whoo!
[engine starts]
- All right, buckle up.
Here we go!
[brakes screech]
All right, here we are.
[gear cranks]
- We we didn't go anywhere.
- Yeah, where's our
new swag pad?
- You're sitting in it.
Our awesome new place
is this car.
- So, no steam shower?
- Nope.
You kids have no idea
how good you have it,
so we'll be sleeping
in here tonight.
- Hmm.
You know what I think?
- What?
- [shrieking]
[upbeat music]
[upbeat music]
- I am not staying in here.
I'm going to miss "The Voice."
You know, if I can't talk about
what Gwen Stefani is wearing,
I'll look like an idiot.
- Did you really think
I'd forget
to put the child locks on?
- I'm not a child!
- And by the way,
escaping is punishable
by revoking
your phone privileges.
- You know what?
I don't need a phone.
I need freedom.
I'm out of here.
- Nope.
- [grunting]
I give up.
Can I have my phone back now?
- Nope.
- We can't sleep in the car.
You know I get carsick.
- If you're gonna blow chunks,
aim it that way.
- Nobody is blowing chunks.
- Don't worry, I'm Googling
"how to escape a car."
- Nope.
Hand over your phones.
Most people don't have
a fraction of what we have.
So we're staying here
for the night.
Get used to it.
Now, who wants to join me
for some karaoke?
[upbeat music plays]
[singing along]
- She's a maniac ♪
Maniac on the floor ♪
♪
And she's dancing like ♪
She's never danced before ♪
Come on, sing with me!
- Maniac on the floor ♪
- [sighs]
Is it morning yet?
- It's got to be.
- How long have we been
in here?
- 12 minutes.
- That's impossible!
You've been singing for hours.
[tapping on window]
[all shout]
- What are you doing here?
- I just got a 911 text
from Hannah.
- Seriously?
- This is a real emergency.
Mom's making us
sleep in the car,
and she's forcing us
to listen to oldies.
- They're not oldies.
They're from the '80s.
Oh.
- So you guys are all good?
- Yes.
Kids:
No!
- I'm good.
It's really comfy back here.
These seats are leather.
- I'm stepping outside,
and if you're still complaining
when I get back,
we are line dancing
to "Material Girl,"
so help me God.
- Please, no!
- [sobs] No.
- What is the deal
with all these 911 texts?
- What's your deal?
- Why do you have the kids
sleeping in the car?
- I'm trying to teach them
a lesson.
- An extremely strange lesson.
[laughs]
- Well, they're being
extremely spoiled.
They're not even thinking about
how hard this is for Izzy.
I want them to know
what it's like to struggle.
- You're sure
this is the right way?
- No, not at all.
I don't know what I'm doing.
It's called parenting.
- What do you think
they're saying?
- Dad's saying
[imitating Travis]
"I see your point, Punky,
"but we may need to get you
some psychiatric help.
And a singing teacher."
- And Mom's like,
[imitating Punky]
"Let's take the kids out
"for some deep dish pizza
and forget this whole thing."
- "Did you notice how good
Daniel's hair looks?"
"No, he's invisible to me."
- Oh, here they come.
- Yay!
Dad's gonna rescue us.
- Hannah, my dear, would you
please move to the back?
I'm going to be
joining you guys.
- What did you do to him?
You're in a band.
You're supposed
to be the cool parent.
- [mouths quietly]
[groans]
There's an important lesson
to learn here.
Granted it's an unusual way
to teach it,
but your mother is unusual.
So, I guess you could say
it's unusually usual
I just confused myself.
[stammers]
The point is,
this isn't so bad.
I mean, I spend a lot of nights
like this out on tour,
crammed into a van
with a bunch of dudes
who haven't showered in days.
You brought snacks right?
- Nope.
- This is going to be
a long night.
- Jeez, when I left
Fenster Hall,
I never thought I'd be sleeping
in a car again.
- You slept in a car?
- Yeah.
Lots of times.
Sometimes, the car's
the safest place.
Me and my mom called it
city camping.
- That's pretty rough.
- I've done my share
of city camping.
- You have?
Boys:
You have?
- Yeah.
After my mom left,
I had nowhere to go,
so I would sneak into cars
and sleep there.
It was scary and lonely.
That was before I found
the empty apartment
and Henry found me.
- I didn't know
you slept in cars.
Did you?
- I just wanted a safe place
where I felt loved.
That's what I want for Izzy.
- I'm a terrible person.
- You sure are.
But I guess I am too.
- We all are.
- My work here is done.
- Yo.
That was some ninja parenting.
- Why did we make
such a big deal
about sharing our rooms?
- I know, right?
At least we have rooms.
- I guess I can make out
with a boy in the treehouse.
- I'm sorry, what?
- I can't believe
I'm saying this, but
maybe Izzy can share my room.
- Or she could share ours.
- What do you say, Izzy?
- She's out.
Sleeping like a baby.
- Remember
when I was your baby?
- You're still my baby.
You're all my babies.
And I see you.
I see all of you.
- Uh-oh.
- I know most of my attention's
been on Izzy lately,
but it's just because
I wanted her to feel welcome.
- It's okay.
I'm getting used to being
a middle child.
- You know what else you are?
Izzy's big brother.
- Oh, yeah!
I didn't even think about that.
I'm going to be
a way better big bro than you.
- Not that hard.
- A big brother.
Man, that's a lot
of responsibility.
But I bet you can handle it.
- And one more thing.
Plaid and stripes
So not your thing.
And Diego, if I ever catch you
with fireworks or beer,
you're so busted.
- You did this.
- Ready to go back upstairs?
- Nah, don't want to wake Izzy.
- Let's open the moonroof.
It's a clear night.
We can check out the stars.
[moonroof whirring]
- Hey, Mom,
could you put on some music?
And not sing?
- No promises, honey.
[gentle acoustic guitar]
♪
- Oh, here we go ♪
singers:
Dancing in the stars ♪
♪
- Oh, here we go ♪
singers:
Dancing in the stars ♪
♪
- [sighs]
Pillows.
[groans]
- [grunts]
- Mm, blanket.
Do you want to stay out here
or sleep in our room?
- Our room?
- Sorry I didn't offer sooner.
I'm still getting used
to this "sister" thing.
I've never had one before.
- Me neither.
I kinda like it.
I can't wait to use our makeup
and wear our clothes.
- Okay, we're going to need
to lay down some ground rules.
- I got it.
This is big brother stuff.
- You're a really good mom.
- I'm just winging it.
The only mom I had
for a role model was Henry.
So she called.
- She who?
- My mom.
- No, that's wow.
How are you feeling about it?
Did you get any answers?
- I didn't talk to her.
I'm still deciding if I will.
Right now, I want to focus
on this family.
- Well, I'm here for it.
I mean, we may not be
together-together,
but I'll always have your back,
Punky Brewster.
You do whatever
feels right for you.
- Jumping into that pile
of kids feels right.
I love this family we built.
- You built.
I just hammered in a few nails.
- [chuckles]
[singer vocalizing]
[gentle acoustic guitar music]
♪
[mellow rock music]
♪
- We're all the same ♪
We belong ♪
♪
All together now ♪
All together now ♪
All together now ♪