Recipes for Love and Murder (2022) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Previously on
"Recipes for Love and Murder"
You are fired.
I've been instructed by the head
of the newspaper association
that I'm part of
to run an advice column.
And so, I'm afraid
it's Tannie Maria's Recipes out,
and Tannie Sara's
Advice Column in.
I could write it.
It's quite a stack!
Let's see who needs our help.
If my husband
he'll kill me.
I promised to
love and obey this man.
My husband.
But the love has dried up.
I have a lot of happy hours
with my friend, when he is out.
You bastard!
Fucking kill you,
you bastard!
If you are with a man
who abuses you,
you should leave him.
What's that then?
Just a mutton curry recipe
I wanna try.
Mm.
Goodnight!
The column's yours.
It seems as though you might
have a few fans online.
And they're all addressed
to Tannie Maria.
What's my surname doing there?
I thought it looked more
professional, Maria Purvis.
No, no, no. I-I'm just,
I'm Tannie Maria. That's all.
Take it down!
Take it, take it down!
I think my friend's husband
is going to kill her.
If I kill him
in self-defence of her,
how long will I go to jail?
Her name is Martine Burger.
Her husband's Dirk.
I found this at the crime scene.
That's my lady with the ducks.
Anna Pretorius.
You need to come with us
and answer questions
regarding the murder
of Martine Burger.
- Anna.
- Oh, oh, oh.
Oh. Oh!
Be my husband man
I be your wife ♪
Loving and honour you
the rest of your life yeah ♪
If you promise me
you'll be my man yeah ♪
If you promise me
you'll be my man yeah ♪
Please don't treat me
so doggone mean ♪
Please don't treat me
so doggone mean ♪
Please don't treat me
so now doggone mean yeah ♪
You're the meanest man
I ever see ♪
Oh daddy now love me good ♪
Oh daddy love me good yeah ♪♪
My only statement is
that I loved her.
Love is not a crime.
Go. Go, go, go.
Watch you head.
Did you talk to them?
I couldn't.
Lawrence.
You have to go to the station.
- What would I tell them?
- You'll tell them what you know.
Show them you've got
nothing to hide.
Don't make trouble.
If there's a killer
on the loose,
surely we should
all be informed.
What if he comes through
my bedroom window
in the middle of the night?
You should be so lucky.
Officer, what Tannie Elna
is trying to say is,
one of the Koop's most beloved
family member has been slain.
We deserve answers.
Listen, I just want
you all to know
that the police is
dealing with this
with the utmost urgency, okay?
You bloody bitch!
I was the only one
who really truly loved her.
She was mine, okay?
I gave my wife everything
she needed!
You gave her plenty
she didn't want.
- Oh, okay.
- Whoa, whoa!
You're being charged with
reckless endangerment.
- What?
- Come on.
Is everybody okay?
Cops in this town are a joke.
Everyone, it's not a boxing
arena, let's go.
All right, listen,
please offer everyone here
a free coffee from our deli,
huh?
To help with your nerves.
Just-just a one.
- Detective.
- Yes?
- Is everything under control?
- Yes.
Well, if I can help
with anything,
anything at all,
please don't hesitate to ask.
Thank you, Mr. Van Wyk.
Detective. Detective.
I-I have some information
- Detective. Detective!
- Yes!
Martine was in my shop last week
and she spent a long time
looking at a book
about astrology,
and just I wonder if that might
have affected things?
I highly doubt it.
I would like to
make a statement.
Of course, you would.
Ah, detective,
when you have a minute,
I-I need to speak to you
about the letters
Martine wrote to me,
well, to the Gazette.
Join the queue.
Just take her to
an interview room.
And remind her
that she's been charged
with assaulting
a police officer.
You don't want any more charges,
you better be forthcoming.
Yes, sir, I'll interrogate her.
He should really put
a raw steak on that.
Hey! It wasn't me!
It wasn't me!
Let's go.
Hi. Can I help you?
May I speak to the detective,
please?
- Detective.
- Yeah?
You are really popular today.
- Can I help you?
- Ms. Burger
Ms. Martine,
I was her gardener,
my mother was her domestic.
Okay, someone will take your
statement, just sit down.
We're a little bit busy
right now.
It's like a damn soap opera
in here.
You sweetie me I will sweetie
you right back, okay?
You have no idea
how hard I'm fighting
to keep this business
running, sweetie.
And so, I'll, um, mail you
the proof of payment
first thing on Monday, okay?
Thank you. Bye.
Thank you.
Maria, how are you?
I just can't stop thinking
of Martine.
And that all of these
and all of these are people
needing help.
Ah, Jess.
You are a lifesaver.
And just in time to help me
grill Maria.
So did you get
some good one on one time
with that gorgeous detective?
He was a wee bit rude to me
actually.
Such a typical cishet male.
Regardt says he's always
telling him what to do.
Isn't he Regardt's boss?
I suppose the detective
was a bit busy.
Dirk and Anna were both there.
Dirk shot at the sky.
Why on earth would he do that?
Just lock him up
and throw away the key!
Due process. Fair trial.
Yeah, yeah, all that.
But still
- Arrogance of youth!
- What was that?
I said I can't wait to
read your article
on the talent competition.
Woo-hoo! Pow-pow! Talent!
Okay.
Martine Burger.
We found a fire poker
with fingerprints
that are being tested right now.
Yes.
Early medical records indicate
she had sleeping pills
in her system,
as well as the blow
to the back of the head.
We'll have a full autopsy
tomorrow.
Her husband, um,
said he was out drinking
with a large group of farmers,
and continued drinking
at the house of Fanie Le Roux.
He passed out there,
and only found Martine
when he arrived home at 5:00.
Did you verify all this?
Yes, sir, Piet and I saw
Dirk and Fanie
leaving the bar about
11:00 that night.
And Fanie's wife confirmed
they arrived there
straight from the bar.
Dirk only left this morning
when she chased him away.
We have statements from everyone
who saw her the day she died,
including her husband
and her best friend-lesbian
love interest.
Okay, so, the next thing is
we just need to let
forensics do their job.
Piet, I want you to go to
the Koop.
Just find out
if we there's anyone
who spoke to her yesterday.
Are you gonna drop by
the Gazette?
Oh, yeah, the crucially
important letters.
You know who is charming,
and really good at his job?
- Regardt?
- Piet!
He's so good with people,
such an asset
to that police force.
He's sweet
but he's not really my type.
Although he does have
a very shapely arse.
I wasn't talking
about type, Hattie.
I'm hardly out here looking to
find a policeman to date, am I?
I just wanted to make sure they
knew about Martine's letters.
Oh, I don't want to date
a policeman either,
but I'd let Khaya Meyer
interrogate me
any day of the week.
Well, if she gets arrested,
at least we'll know why.
Dear, Tannie Maria.
Boy, do I need your help.
Got any good tips for seduction?
It's hard work being a farmer,
we're up before dawn
trying to look after
these animals of ours.
There are no time to think about
anything
when your livestock
are struggling.
- Hi, Nigel.
- Good morning, Gideon.
Is this the poor bird?
Yeah, poor girl.
Just can't keep her meals down.
Thanks for coming out
so quickly.
I always prioritise
your animals, Gideon.
That really means a lot, Nige.
So I need a technique
that doesn't beat
about the bush.
The easy way to let
somebody know that
And that you hope they think
you're kak lekker too.
Yours
Dirk is being released on bail!
He's only been charged for
the shooting this morning!
That's outrageous.
Maria, you should demand
that they read the letters
she wrote you!
The detective knows where I am
if he wants me.
Besides, I have work to do.
Absolutely, Maria,
your people need you.
Jessie, I'm sure the police are
following all the angles.
Fine, I'll interview
the abuser myself.
Since you asked, Jessie
Did you file the article about
the Saturday's farmer's market?
And the profile about the youth
entrepreneur of the month?
I'll finish it today, I promise.
Fine. Then you can go and try
and get an interview.
That's all.
Don't try
and be all Carte Blanche
investigator about it.
Thanks, Hattie.
You're the best, bye!
And you are leaving me too?
I'm sorry, Hattie.
I've got to see a chicken
about an egg.
You know how it is.
Sorry.
Have you seen Dirk Burger?
No, sorry, we haven't.
Okay, thank you.
He'll be there
Damn it.
I suppose you think
this is funny.
Hilarious, aren't you?
If you don't stop
hiding your eggs
like you're the Easter Bunny
I'll going to have to
lock you up at night
with the other hens.
I thought so.
I need three more.
Come on, show me the way.
Fishpond? This way?
Sorry.
Have you seen Dirk Burger?
Tall, blonde, mean eyes.
Thank you.
Sorry.
Have you seen Dirk Burger?
Who?
Hi, Tannie M.? Are you busy?
I could really use your help
on the Burger story.
I'm trying to track down Dirk,
but the house
is still a crime scene.
I'd love to, Jessie, but
I think you and I
should go down to the Koop
and interview
Martine's colleagues.
I'm-I'm busy with
a seduction recipe.
I feel a responsibility to
help the people
that have written to me.
You're better with that kind of
journalism anyway.
Will you let me know
what you find out?
- Okay.
- Bye, bye.
So, you weren't
a part of Dirk's interrogation?
Ah, no. But even if I was,
I can't tell you about it.
No, of course not.
I was just wondering, was Dirk
the one that called it in?
Did he say that he found a body?
Was there a fight?
It's, um, it's hard finding
the body of someone you love.
Oh, no, no, no. He was an
abusive piece of crap to her.
And that's why we need to
build a case against him.
Oh, it's such a good profile
on this guy.
I found my dad's body.
Oh, God! Sorry. My ma.
Hello? I'm kinda busy.
Just an interview.
Okay, fine.
Riley's sick. I need to go
fetch him at his school.
- Sorry about
- I think you, you should go.
Thanks for lunch.
In order to woo
your potential paramour,
you'll need
a great deal of courage,
a freshly washed face,
all your baking regulars,
and some eggs from happy hen.
Well, she's definitely doing
much better.
Thanks for coming back
to check on her, Nige.
Anytime.
Beat the vanilla
extract, milk, eggs and oil
for about one minute
'til the mixture is creamy.
Then into that creamy mixture
you add the dry ingredients.
Slowly, gently.
Adding your boiling water
will make it thinner
than you expect.
Just trust me.
I know cakes.
Now for the yum part.
You're going to completely
cover your cake in chocolate.
Nigel.
Do you wanna come in?
I have cake.
I can't say no to that.
Allow to bake for 30 minutes,
and watch how nicely
things rise.
You'll know it's done
if you poke a stick into it
and the stick comes out dry.
Once the cake has cooled,
smother it in chocolate ganache
and then garnish.
And there you have it.
A cake that could win over
even your worst enemy.
If you can't straight up
look them in the eyes
and say "I really like you,"
well, the cake will.
Oh, and P.S.
For the full effect
always serve with fresh
coated cream.
How big a slice would you like?
Well, how big can I go?
Yeah, that's the one.
I thought I might drop a slice
into poor Anna.
Shame her blood sugar
must be so low
all the shock she's had.
How can we help?
My son Lawrence was here before.
- He said I needed to
- Hold on.
Just have a seat over here.
I'll be with you a minute.
Wou-would you like come cake?
Yes. Thank you.
I promise I won't interfere
with the investigation,
I'm just here on cake business.
Alright, Maria, five minutes.
Things aren't looking good
for her.
Hello!
No cops.
Don't worry. Just cake.
Thank you.
Anna, what happened to Martine?
Tienie's dead.
I know. I'm sorry.
How did she die?
It's my fault.
Why is it your fault?
Tell me.
I'm your friend.
I only want to help.
I know.
I got there too late.
I felt something wrong.
I knew.
And I got in my bakkie
and I rushed there
but she was already dead.
Just like the ducks.
There she was
lying on the ground
and she wasn't moving.
He was just staring at me
Dirk.
Dirk was there?
You need to get a lawyer.
I don't care if I go to jail.
It doesn't matter anymore.
Tienie's dead.
- And Dirk?
- Oh.
You should press charges
against Dirk,
he tried to attack you earlier.
Yeah, well,
Dirk better watch out.
I'm not talking to you.
I'm not talking
to you either, dear.
I'm just here to tell Maria
the detective is on his way.
Anna. Call a lawyer.
Please.
I think Anna is a lot smarter
than what some people
give her credit for.
And by some people you mean?
Dirk for one.
I'll leave a slice of cake here
for your detective.
Ah, he's not gonna eat it.
He's a rather proud
of his figure, our boss.
That is ridiculous!
Little slice of cake
never hurt anyone.
- It was delicious.
- Oh, thank you.
I completely forgot to
give you your cream earlier.
Here, just
just taste it.
Amazing. We'll run that Tuesday
next week. You're a star.
Thanks.
Oh. You're not Jess.
- No. But I have cake?
- Oh, yes, please!
If only cake could write
the article
Jessie promised me on deadline.
- Mm. Oh.
- Oh, Maria, more mail.
Thank you.
Hello. Yes. This is Hattie
from the Karoo Gazette.
Could I speak to
Mr. Van Vlaanderen, please?
Yes, I'll hold.
Dear, Maria.
It's so wonderful to have
a picture of you in my head
of what you look like now.
We haven't seen each other
in a very long time.
I miss you.
I miss talking about
the old days.
I'm aching.
Lot of water under
the bridge, eh?
Okay. Oh, detective.
I didn't expect to see you
'til Friday.
Let me guess,
a nice thick juicy rump, hm?
The meat obviously,
not your fine self.
- Just here on police business.
- Oh, if it's about Mrs. Burger.
All I did was
sell her some mutton.
Oh, no, no. No, not here on
police business, in there.
Oh, and to the fine ladies,
the press are anxious to help.
Linda, my lamb.
- Your leg of lamb.
- Mm.
Maria?
Oh, no!
- Maria? The door!
- What? Oh, sorry.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry. I was just
talking to a colleague here.
- Go on! Hmm.
- Oh. It's you.
Mm-hm.
- I have come to No, thank you.
- Cake?
I forgot, I left you a slice
at the station.
Oh, yes, your poor mum.
I'm here for the letters
Mrs. Burger
and Ms. Pretorius
wrote to you.
Oh.
Well, um
The first one I read
Well, the first one I read
was actually not the first one
that she sent because I read
them in the wrong order, so,
the first one that I read, well,
that was the, um
You do want to talk about
the letters?
Yes, you mentioned the sciatica
last week.
Let's do this properly.
Um
Your name?
Just call me Tannie Maria.
This is a police report
not a cookie recipe.
Maria Purvis.
Maria Purvis.
Okay, so that will be your usual
quarter page, and a special
back page feature to celebrate
sevens years of manufacturing
concrete garden statues.
You must be so proud.
Bye-bye.
- Must I just
- Write your statement.
Detective!
- How good to see you.
- Ms. Wilson.
Although under such tragic
circumstances.
I'm really sorry to disrupt your
workspace like this.
Oh, not at all.
We are always here to
serve the police.
Oh.
Well, it certainly seem like
you have a hotline
to police business.
Sign there.
- Ah, Ms. Purvis
- Maria.
Tannie Maria.
Maria
I really appreciate your concern
for Mrs. Burger,
and I'm really sorry that this
whole business has affected you.
But this is a serious
police matter.
We've have no time
for amateur detectives.
Don't worry, detective.
I'll keep them from
bothering you.
You can count on me.
- Thank you.
- We're here anytime.
Anytime, anytime.
Don't hesitate to call anytime.
- Anytime at all. Goodbye.
- Thank you.
Don't hesitate.
Thank you.
What?
- I wanna go home!
- Soon.
- What are we waiting for?!
- If I say "stop"
Jess, I'm really not
feeling good.
Are you going to puke on me?
No, but I just want to
go to bed.
Are sure you're not just
bunking off of school
'cause you had a maths test?
Come on!
- Can we just go?
- Okay.
Your bail has been posted,
so you're free to go.
Um, but you may not leave town.
It's all my fault.
Yes, I've, I've put that
in your statement.
At last!
How kind of you to remember
that you actually have a job.
Sorry, Hats, just doing
some research.
Karoo Gazette,
Hattie Wilson speaking?
Ah, Marius. How lovely to
hear from you. Mm-hm. Oh.
- Maria. No.
- Do you want some cake?
I know that you said
that you couldn't help,
but I need you to come
immediately!
Come where? I'm busy
workin' on a letter.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear you didn't
enjoy the feature on some of
the historical road names
in our little town.
I found out where Dirk
is staying.
We need to talk to him now.
Mm. Oh.
No.
Please. I can't do it alone.
I need a partner.
Do it for Martine.
Okay.
I'll bring a wee slice of cake.
I'll sneak out first,
you follow.
I found it was quite
innocuous, really.
Oh, so you're saying the word
colonial is aggressive?
Oh, I do apologise, Mr. Rabie,
and I will absolutely
have a word
with the journalist in question.
Thank you so much
for raising your concerns.
Bye.
Jess, you can't believe
that claptrap Marius Rabie
is spouting about you
Maria?
Knock, knock!
You're alreay in.
No wonder you're grumpy today.
What do you mean?
Your assailant made bail,
by the way.
You know, sometimes I forget
why you're my friend.
Because who else in this town
gets you like, bro?
You're right.
Best get back to work.
In that case, I have to tell you
the prints came back
The fire poker was covered
in Anna's prints.
Between that and the wedding
plate has been smashed.
We need to arrest Anna
again now.
Yeah! Lucky us.
Let's go.
Are you sure this is right?
What is this place?
It's a guest house run by
Seventh-day Adventists.
- Seventh-day Adventist.
- Why are you bringing that?
Would you leave a child
in the car?
- Hello.
- Hi.
Frank.
- Good day. How can I help?
- Hi.
Good day, good sir.
We're looking for a man about
your height, super mean
- Woah!
- Where's Dirk?
- Maria.
- I'm gonna kill him.
Anna, why don't we sit down
and have wee chat.
- No, thank you.
- I have cake.
Thank you very much.
No, thank you. Hey!
Oh! Oh!
I'm surprised the police
let you go, you murderous cow!
You killed Tienie!
I would never hurt my wife!
Well, you killed the ducks
that I gave her.
I'm a farmer, okay.
We kill animals all the time.
And wives.
I thought the cops would
deal with you.
But now, it's just you and me.
No, it really isn't.
We're here too.
And the kids. I think you should
let the kids go.
You have a daughter,
don't you, Dirk?
Martina was pleased what good
care you took of her.
You paid the bills. You..
I mean, you love kids,
don't you?
Okay, fine. Let the mother go.
Go, go, go!
Bet you can't even fire
that thing.
Left middle toe.
Ah!
Detective!
- Yes, it's Tannie Maria.
- We're fine.
- Actually, no. But
- You shot me!
You shot me!
Yes, please!
Ahh!
Stop, stop, stop!
Oh, no.
No thank you.
Gentle, gentle. Okay?
We are gonna
take a nice long bath
and we're gonna feel
much better.
That must have been a bit scary.
- Are the kids okay?
- Thank you for helping them.
It was very brave.
Oh, I think they
were very brave.
Would they like some cake?
It does have a bit of a bullet
hole in it but I tasted some
and it doesn't seem to have
gunpowder flavour or anything.
I'm sorry, we can't.
We're vegan.
It's our religion.
Your religion is vegan?
I thought you were Seventh-day
- Adventist. We are.
- Hm.
My wife just meant that
because of our religion
we are vegan.
Oh.
I am sorry.
Detective.
Wasn't that cake shot?
We have to take it evidence.
But it'll go bad!
Eat the cake. You can forensic
the cake savour if you need to.
- Of course, have one more.
- I'm sure you do.
I'm still unclear.
Why are you and your colleague
here?
We wanted to interview Dirk.
Have I not asked you already
that you must leave
this murder to us.
- Piet!
- Yeah.
I'll go with these two
to the hospital.
You mean those
trigger happy nutjobs?
People of interest.
- No sense of humour, that one.
- Yeah, wel
- Ju-just don't. Just
- Calm down.
Jessica.
Sorry, ma, I know it's late.
There was a shootout
at the guesthouse.
I was investigating
Don't you want to know
how Riley is?
When I got home,
his temperature was 38
and he was vomiting everywhere.
But, ma, he said he was
faking it.
Really?
Okay, no,
I said he was faking it.
But he didn't deny it
I was doing work, ma.
You gave him nothing.
Not even a paracetemol
for his fever.
I'm not his mother!
You asked me to bring him home
and I brought him home!
I didn't think I needed to
ask you for a little kindness.
Bronwyn could have
taken care of him.
Bronwyn's still a child.
When I was her age, I was making
supper, taking care of us
while you worked night shifts.
I wasn't able to
be a child then.
- Is he okay?
- Hmm.
It's this 48 hour bug,
plenty of fluids
and lots of rest
and he'll be fine.
- And some red jelly?
- Jelly?
When I was sick,
dad always brought me red jelly.
I thought it was magic.
What am I going to do with you,
Jess, hm?
I trusted you today.
Your brother needed real help,
not some red jelly.
What if I didn't know
how to help?
I'm not his mother,
or his nurse.
That's your life,
and I don't want it.
I didn't know you were up.
I'll make you a cup of tea.
"Cleared."
Right.
Dear, Tannie Maria.
You really know your stuff.
I made you a doggy bag.
Couldn't eat another slice.
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
Bye.
Tannie Maria, let me tell you,
that kiss
it was like a whole
bucket load of fireworks
exploded over the koppie
all at once.
Thanks for turning my crush
into crushed lips.
Yours, enamoured in Eden.
Quick, we need to talk before
Hattie comes in.
Don't tell me you didn't write
your talent show piece?
No, I finished that.
That stuff's easy.
You know she doesn't want us
investigating
Martine's murder any more?
Yes.
And the cops keep telling us to
stay away?
Yes.
Well, I was thinking, you and I
should go to Martine's house
and see the crime scene
for ourselves.
I'm a really great
investigative journalist,
and you knew Martine
from her letters
- Yes.
- What?
I'm in.
Cool.
Ah!
A full house of staff.
Truly, I'm blessed.
Sorry, Hattie, I'll ge cracking
on that wool piece of yours.
Wonderful.
Oh. My sex cake worked!
Even better.
See you tonight.
Mmm!
- So good.
- Shhh!
Maria, what are you wearing?
It was the only black thing
I could find.
- Take off your shoes.
- Okay.
Hold this.
I can crack it.
I googled it.
Of course you did.
I did it.
Here.
Looks like Dirk hasn't been back
here since Martine died.
Since he murdered her.
Let's go.
Let's go. Let's go.
Come on.
Come on