Rhoda (1974) s01e02 Episode Script

- MY NAME IS RHODA MORGENSTERN.
I WAS BORN IN THE BRONX, NEW YORK IN DECEMBER, 1941.
I'VE ALWAYS FEL RESPONSIBLE FOR WORLD WAR II.
THE FIRST THING I REMEMBER LIKING THAT LIKED ME BACK WAS FOOD.
IN SCHOOL, MY GRADES WERE OK.
MOSTLY B's AND C's EXCEPT FOR SELF-CONTROL.
MMM.
I HAD A BAD PUBERTY.
IT LASTED 17 YEARS.
I'M A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE.
I WENT TO ART SCHOOL.
MY ENTRANCE EXAM WAS ON A BOOK OF MATCHES.
I DECIDED TO MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE WHEN I WAS 24.
MY MOTHER STILL REFERS TO THIS AS THE TIME I RAN AWAY FROM HOME.
EVENTUALLY, I RAN TO MINNEAPOLIS, WHERE IT'S COLD, AND I FIGURED I'D KEEP BETTER.
NOW I'M BACK IN MANHATTAN.
NEW YORK, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.
- WHERE? - OVER THERE.
ALL RIGHT.
- [GRUNTING.]
- I WONDER HOW MARY MANAGED THIS BY HERSELF.
- WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE MARY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING BY YOURSELF.
WELL, THERE IT IS.
MY ENTIRE LIFE IN A DENTED TRUCK.
WITH 2 STICKERS.
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA AND CAMP CHAIM WEIZMANN.
- NOW, IF I'M LUCKY, MARY PACKED MY OLD CLOSET IN HERE FOR ME TO PUT ALL THIS STUFF IN.
- OH, RHODA, THIS IS WONDERFUL.
CAN I WEAR THIS SOMETIME? - YOU'RE KIDDING.
THAT'S ONE OF MY OLDIES BUT UGLIES.
- YEAH, BUT THE ZIPPER WORKS.
I BLEW OUT 3 ZIPPERS THIS WEEK.
AND IT'S ONLY WEDNESDAY.
- WELL, IT'S YOURS.
AH, YES! MY OLD BATHROOM SCALE.
IT'S BROKEN.
IT ONLY GOES UP TO 105.
I NEVER HAD THE HEAR TO GET IT FIXED.
- GEE, YOU KNOW, MY SCALE SAYS 105 BEFORE I GET THE OTHER LEG ON.
- 33 YEARS OLD AND HERE'S MY GOOD CHINA.
CRACKED MELMAC.
- HEY, WHAT'S THAT? - HOPE IT'S NO THE MALTESE FALCON.
OH, LOOK AT THIS.
THAT IS SO LIKE MARY.
TO WRAP NEWSPAPERS IN NEWSPAPER.
AH, MARY.
I REALLY MISS YOU.
- HEY, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
BUT, HEY! NOW YOU'VE GOT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD, A GREAT GUY, AND ME.
WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? - HOW ABOUT A JOB, SOME MONEY, AND A DRAWER TO PU MY UNDERWEAR IN? BRENDA, WHERE AM I GOING TO PUT ALL THIS STUFF? - HEY, NO PROBLEM.
THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM IN THE CLOSET.
HOW MUCH STUFF DO YOU HAVE? - BRENDA, I CAN'T KEEP PUTTING OFF LOOKING FOR MY OWN PLACE.
- OH, COME ON.
DON'T BRING THAT UP AGAIN.
- WELL-- - HEY, I LOVE HAVING YOU HERE.
AND YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TOUGH IT IS TO FIND AN APARTMEN - IN NEW YORK.
- OH, NO? - LISTEN, I REMEMBER A TIME WHEN WE USED TO READ THE OBITUARIES TO LOOK FOR VACANCIES.
NOW, SOMEBODY COUGHS, YOU FOLLOW THEM AROUND.
- I WILL FIND YOU AN APARTMENT.
- GOOD.
- HERE IT IS.
"A ONE-BEDROOM, TERRACE, AND A NICE VIEW.
" - HOW DOES THAT SOUND? - SOUNDS GREAT.
- HOW MUCH? - 900 A MONTH, - PLUS 150 CLEANING FEE.
- I CAN ONLY AFFORD TO MOVE INTO THE CLEANING FEE.
- I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
A NICE 2-BEDROOM WITH A FULL KITCHEN.
- OH, NOW YOU'RE TALKING.
DO YOU MIND 5 ROOMMATES? - I MIND.
- 3 ARE WOMEN.
- YOU KNOW, THERE'S UH, WHAT, 8 MILLION PEOPLE LIVING IN THE CITY OF NEW YORK? I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ALL HAD THIS MUCH PROBLEM.
- NO, THE 8 MILLION LIVING HERE ARE ALL SET.
YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.
- WELL, I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.
- YOU KNOW, ALL BUSINESS ASIDE, RHODA, I FEEL A VERY NICE WARMTH TOWARD YOU.
- OH.
THANK YOU, HOWARD.
- YEAH.
I MEAN, I LIKE YOUR VIBES.
- OH.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.
- DO YOU THINK THA WE COULD BE FRIENDS? - WELL, SURE, HOWARD.
HOWIE.
- YEAH.
THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE FOR A FRIEND I CAN DO SOMETHING EXTRA.
- OH, GEE.
AND HERE I WAS AFRAID TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.
- NO.
NO, LISTEN.
ONE HAND WASHES THE OTHER.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? - I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU MEAN.
- OK.
I DO YOU A FAVOR AND, UH-- - AND I DO YOU A FAVOR, RIGHT? - NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT.
- BUT YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT, BECAUSE I'M NOT GIVING IT.
- HI.
- HIYA.
[SIGHS.]
- HOW'D IT GO? - NOTHING.
BEST OFFER I HAD WAS A BASEMENT APARTMENT.
BUT I HAD TO BE THE JANITOR'S WIFE.
WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS THIS? TWO BEDROOMS, ONE AND A HALF BATHS, $110? - NO KIDDING.
WHAT STREET? - HAVENHURST AVENUE.
IT'S IN MINNEAPOLIS.
HEY, BREN, HOW COME THE PLACE LOOKS SO NEAT ALL OF A SUDDEN? I MEAN, WHAT'D YOU DO WITH THE TRUNK? - IT'S RIGHT HERE.
IT'S OUR NEW COFFEE TABLE.
- WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR OLD COFFEE TABLE? - IT'S IN THE TRUNK.
LISTEN, RHODA.
I HAVE THIS CRUMMY FAVOR TO ASK.
IF IT'S A PROBLEM, LET ME KNOW.
- SURE.
WHAT IS IT? - WELL, I HAVE THIS DATE TONIGHT.
AND IT'S KIND OF SPECIAL BECAUSE IT'S NOTYOU KNOWA BLIND DATE.
I MEAN, HE'S SEEN ME ALREADY.
- THAT'S WONDERFUL.
THAT'S JUST WONDERFUL.
TELL ME, WHAT'S HE LIKE? - OH, YOU KNOW HIM.
HE'S COUSIN NORMA'S SON, LENNY.
- A RELATIVE? - DON'T WORRY.
HE'S ONLY A THIRD COUSIN.
I ALREADY CHECKED WITH THE DOCTOR AND THERE'S NO THREA OF INSANITY.
ANYWAY, WHAT I WANTED TO ASK YOU WAS THERE'S A SLIGH CHANCE THAT WE MAY COME BACK HERE AFTER AND--GEE, THIS IS TOUGH.
- OH! OH, DUMMY.
YOU WANT ME TO GET LOST! OF COURSE, YES.
THERE'S NO PROBLEM.
I'VE GOT A DATE TONIGHT ANYWAY WITH JOE.
- OH.
WELL, THEN, HEY, MAYBE YOU WANT ME TO GET LOST, HUH? - BRENDA, PLEASE.
THIS IS YOUR PLACE.
YOU HAVE A DATE, YOU'RE ENTITLED TO SOME PRIVACY.
- GEE, THANKS, RHO.
- SURE.
LENNY, HUH? LAST TIME I SAW HIM IT WAS 10 YEARS AGO.
HE WAS JUST STARTING PUBERTY.
- WELL, HE'S JUST ABOU COMING OUT OF IT NOW.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- HI, BRENDA.
- HI.
- JOE! - HIYA, BABE.
- OH, HI.
OH, LISTEN.
I'M GOING TO BE READY IN JUST ONE SECOND.
I JUST HAVE TO GET MY JACKET-- - YOU'LL NEVER GUESS.
THE CRAZIEST THING JUST HAPPENED.
YOU WILL NEVER GUESS.
- WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS? IT WASN'T EVEN ON A HANGER.
- MOST OF THEM AREN'T ON HANGERS.
- YOU'LL NEVER GUESS.
YOU SEE, I'M ON MY WAY HERE IN THE CAB, WHEN I SPOT SOMETHING ON THE FLOOR OF THE CAB.
- ANYONE I KNOW? YOU CAN TELL ME ON THE WAY DOWN.
- RHODA, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, BUT I FOUND A TICKE TO TONIGHT'S KNICKS GAME ON THE FLOOR OF THAT CAB.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? - YEAH, REALLY? THAT'S TERRIFIC.
- HEY! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THESE THINGS ARE WORTH? IT'S WORTH A FORTUNE! AND IT'S WITH THE CELTICS.
- SO? - SO, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU KNEW ANYONE WHO'D LIKE TO GO? - OH, YOU MEAN, AS MUCH AS YOU DO? - OH, I DON'T THINK YOU'LL FIND ANYONE LIKE THA BECAUSE I WANT TO GO BAD.
- OH.
JUST ONE TICKET, HUH? - YEAH.
I LOOKED ALL OVER THAT CAB BUT-- - BUT YOU COULDN'T FIND MINE.
WELL, JOE.
UH I LEAVE IT TO YOUUHWHA DO YOU WANT TO DO? - I THINK I WANT TO GO.
- THEN YOU SHOULD.
- RIGHT.
- WHY AREN'T YOU GOING? I KNOW WHA YOU WANT, JOE.
YOU WANT ME TO GET RID OF YOUR GUILT, RIGHT? - THAT WOULD HELP.
- ALL RIGHT.
I REALLY DON'T MIND IF YOU GO.
HONEST.
I WANT YOU TO ENJOY YOURSELF.
GO TO THE KNICKS GAME.
- THAT GOT RID OF MY GUILT.
ONLY NOW I'M NOT SURE I WAN TO GO FOR ANOTHER REASON.
- COME ON, GET OUT OF HERE.
GO ON.
- THE KNICKS BETTER WIN.
- I DIDN'T THINK HE'D GO.
I MEAN, I WORKED HIM OVER PRETTY GOOD.
- SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW? - I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS I'LL JUST TAKE A HOT BATH, GO TO BED.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT, LENNY.
- OH, HEY, NO.
THAT'S OK.
I MEAN, THE THREE OF US CAN GO-- - NO, WE CAN'T.
NOW, BRENDA, STOP.
AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I'VE GOT PLENTY OF FUN THINGS I CAN DO TONIGHT.
- LIKE WHAT? - I COULD VISIT MA.
- OH, YEAH.
AT THE FUN HOUSE.
[DOOR BUZZER.]
- HIYA, MA.
- RHODA? - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? - WELL, I WAS JUST HANGING AROUND THE BRONX.
I THOUGHT I'D DROP IN.
- WELL, I MEAN, THAT'S SO UNLIKE YOU.
THERE'S NOT A DOCTOR'S REPORT OUT ON ME, IS THERE? - NO, NO, NO.
I JUST CAME UP TO VISIT, THAT'S ALL.
- LISTEN, DID MRS.
DAHL SEE YOU COME IN? - NO.
I MEAN, I DON'T THINK SO.
WHY? - WELL, SHE'S ALWAYS THROWING IT UP TO ME ABOUT HOW HER DAUGHTER COMES UP AND VISITS HER 2 TIMES OR 3 TIMES A WEEK.
[SIGHS.]
HELLO, EDNA? YES, I WAS CALLING TO INVITE YOU UP FOR SOME COFFEE, BUT AS IT TURNED OUT, MY DAUGHTER, RHODA, DROPPED IN, SO I'M CALLING TO CANCEL.
YEAH, MY OTHER DAUGHTER'S HERE, TOO.
BRENDA.
UH-HUH.
THAT'S RIGHT, THE BOTH OF THEM.
YEAH, WELL, I HAVE TO GET OFF NOW SO I CAN OPEN THE PRESENTS THEY BOUGHT ME.
OK, SEE YOU TOMORROW.
MIGHT AS WELL GO ALL THE WAY, RIGHT? - WELL, IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY PRESENT, YOU CAN RETURN IT.
SO WHERE'S POP? - HE'S WORKING LATE AT THE OFFICE I ONLY HOPE AND PRAY.
SO WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU? - [SIGHS.]
LET'S SEE.
TODAY WAITED FOR 2 HOURS IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE, THEN I WALKED MY FEET OFF LOOKING FOR AN APARTMENT.
THEN JOE BROKE OUR DATE TONIGHT.
AT THE LAST MINUTE.
AND THEN WHAT? OH, YEAH.
GOT STUCK IN THE TUNNEL.
THE SUBWAY.
ON MY WAY UP HERE.
FOR AN HOUR.
- HOW WONDERFUL.
FINALLY, THERE'S A DAY WHEN I'M THE HIGH SPOT, HUH? SO LISTEN, THERE'S NOTHING NEW WITH THE APARTMENT, HUH? - OH, NO, MA.
LAST THING I SAW WAS THIS COZY, LITTLE PLACE IN NEEDLE PARK.
4 FLIGHTS UP AND ALL YOUR NEIGHBORS ARE LYING ON THE STAIRS.
- LISTEN.
I KNOW HOW YOU DON'T LIKE ME TO INTERFERE, SO I'M KIND OF RELUCTANT NOW TO TELL YOU, BUT I THINK I MAY KNOW ABOUT A PLACE.
- MA, THAT'S NOT CALLED INTERFERING, THAT'S CALLED HELPING.
WHAT KIND OF PLACE? - WELL, IT'S IN A NICE BUILDING, BUT IT'S NOT BIG.
IT'S SMALL.
- WELL, SMALL'S OK, I'M DESPERATE.
HOW SMALL? - ONE BEDROOM.
THE FURNITURE'S NOT NEW.
- BUT I LOVE OLD FURNITURE.
GO ON.
- YEAH, WELL, THERE'S PLENTY OF CLOSET SPACE.
- OH, THAT'S GREAT.
- AND THE PRICE IS RIGHT.
- OH.
AND I WAS READY TO GIVE UP.
- AND THE BEST THING ABOUT I IS YOU CAN MOVE IN RIGHT AWAY.
- OH, MA.
CAN I GET IT? - ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT IT? - YEAH.
WHERE IS IT? - RIGHT IN THERE.
- OH, I DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING.
OOH, THAT WAS CLOSE.
[LAUGHTER.]
- DON'T TURN THE LIGHT ON.
- OH.
SEE YOU LATER.
- RHODA, HANG ON.
- BRENDA, I'M SO SORRY.
I THOUGHT MAYBE HE'D BE GONE.
- OH, IT'S OK.
- REALLY? - YEAH, COME ON IN.
SO HOW WAS EVERYTHING AT MA'S? - OH, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
SHE ACTUALLY WANTED ME TO COME HOME AND LIVE IN MY OLD-- BRENDA, ISN'T THERE A PERSON BEHIND THERE? - YEAH.
BUT HE'S SORT OF SHY.
LENNY?! LENNY, IT'S YOUR COUSIN, RHODA FAY.
- HI.
- UM NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, LEN.
BRENDA, THIS IS TERRIBLE.
I'M SO SORRY.
I'M GOING TO GE OUT OF YOUR WAY.
- OH, NO.
- YEAH, I'LL JUST GO DOWN TO THE LOBBY.
HAVE A COUPLE OF BELTS WITH CARLTON.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- JOE! - HEY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE STILL UP.
- OH, HI.
DID YOU ENJOY THE GAME? - AW, NOT REALLY.
I WAS THINKING ABOU YOU THE WHOLE TIME.
I COULD HARDLY KEEP MY MIND ON IT.
- WHAT WAS THE SCORE? - 132 TO 131.
THEY WON WITH A 27-FOO JUMP SHOT IN OVERTIME.
- HOW MANY POINTS DID FRASIER GET? - UH, HE GOT 36.
10 IN THE OVER--WHO IS THIS? - NOBODY SPECIAL.
SEE YA, BRENDA.
BYE, RHODA.
- WHAT WAS HE DOING IN THERE? VOTING? - BRENDA, I AM REALLY SO TERRIBLY SORRY.
- OH.
- OH, YEAH, I AM SORRY TO BUST IN HERE LIKE THIS.
- NO, NO.
REALLY, IT'S OK.
IT'S NO PROBLEM.
ANYWAY, I THINK YOU DID ME A FAVOR.
IT WAS A LITTLE PECULIAR.
HE KEPT SAYING, "LET'S SHOW OUR TOES.
" - I DON'T KNOW.
BRENDA, THE THING IS, I HAVE GOT TO MOVE.
RIGHT AWAY.
I CAN'T DO THIS TO YOU ANYMORE.
- LOOK, REALLY.
WE'RE NOT IN EACH OTHER'S WAY.
NO, REALLY.
I'LL GO BEHIND THE CURTAIN SO YOU AND JOE CAN BE ALONE.
IT'S NO PROBLEM-- - NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
LOOK.
YOU TWO WANT TO TALK, SO I'LL JUST GO IN THE BATHROOM HERE.
- NO.
YOU'RE NOT GOING IN THE BATHROOM.
AND YOU'RE NOT GOING BEHIND ANY CURTAIN.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
AND THIS IS A PERFEC EXAMPLE OF HOW BAD IT IS.
NOW, BRENDA, LISTEN TO ME.
NOW, LISTEN.
THIS IS NOT JUST FOR YOU, IT'S FOR ME.
I DON'T HAVE A JOB.
I DON'T HAVE ANY IMMEDIATE PROSPECTS.
AND I'M GETTING LOW ON MONEY.
I'VE GOT THE FEELING THAT IF I DON'T GET A PLACE OF MY OWN, THINGS ARE NOT GOING TO START HAPPENING FOR ME.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND? - YEAH.
I WISH I DIDN'T.
- AW, BABE.
THAT'S GOOD.
- LOOK, EXCUSE ME, BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOU SOME PRIVACY HERE.
I'LL JUST GO IN THE BATHROOM.
- NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO.
- OH, YES, I DO.
- NO, MARE.
I'M JUST FINE.
I'M FINE.
HONESTLY.
IT'S JUST THAT THINGS GO A LITTLE CRAMPED AT BRENDA'S, SO I, UHTOOK A TEMPORARY LITTLE PLACE UPTOWN.
UH-HUH.
- CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH AND SOME MILK FOR YOU.
- WHAT? OH, THAT'S JUST ROOM SERVICE.
AW, WHO AM I KIDDING? MARY, MY ADDRESS IS 3517 GRAND CONCOURSE.
AND THAT CHUMMY WAITRESS YOU JUST HEARD WAS MY MOTHER.
AND IF THIS ISN'T ROCK BOTTOM, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
LISTEN, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ON THE PHONE UNTIL I FINISH MY HOMEWORK.
I'LL TALK ABOUT THIS LATER WITH YOU, OK? SEE YOU, GOOD-BYE.
- RHODA, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GET OFF THE PHONE THAT WAY.
I KNOW YOU NEED YOUR PRIVACY, AND WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU ALL THE PRIVACY YOU WANT.
YOU CAN EVEN ENTERTAIN IN YOUR ROOM.
- MA, ARE YOU ACTUALLY SAYING THAT-- - YES, YES! YES, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.
ONLY WE MUSTN'T LETHIM KNOW.
- HIM? - NO, YOUR FATHER.
HE'S GOING TO KNOW ANYWAY.
- WHAT IS THIS? - IT'S A LITTLE SNACK.
- A SNACK? LOOKS LIKE CANNON'S LUNCH PAIL.
- GEE, IN THE OLD DAYS, YOU COULD PU 2 OR 3 OF THESE AWAY IN AN EVENING.
- PLEASE DON'T REMIND ME.
BOY, I REALLY DID USED TO EAT LIKE THAT, DIDN'T I? - YEAH.
YOU USED TO BE A GREAT DAUGHTER.
- AND YOU REALLY SHOVELED IT INTO ME.
I MEAN, I REMEMBER MY FIRST DRESS SIZE.
TODDLER STOUT.
- LISTEN, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN UNPACKED.
LET ME HELP YOU, ALL RIGHT? - MA, PLEASE DON'T, OK? JUST--I'M NOT STAYING THAT LONG, YOU SEE.
JUST LEAVE THE THINGS IN THE SUITCASES.
- OK, ANYTHING YOU SAY.
ANYTHING YOU WANT.
ANYTHING YOU NEED? - NO.
NO, MA.
- NO.
- OK.
- YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR OWN THING.
AND IF THAT MEANS BEING ALONE, WE'RE GOING TO LEAVE YOU ALONE.
YOU LIVE HERE ALONE.
WE LIVE HERE ALONE.
WE'RE CROWDED, BUT ALONE.
NO PROBLEMS.
OH, UHONE OTHER THING.
I'D LIKE TO REMIND YOU ABOU A HOUSE RULE, IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN I THROUGH THE YEARS.
IF YOU, UH, HAPPEN TO GET UP EARLY ON A SATURDAY MORNING AND OUR DOOR IS CLOSED DON'T COME IN.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
- [SIGHS.]
- I FIGURED YOU WERE UP WHEN I SAW THE NEWSPAPER WAS GONE.
- OH.
THANKS, MA.
HEY.
NO FRENCH TOAS THIS MORNING, HUH? - WELL, YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO GE UP EARLY TO GO JOB-HUNTING SO I DIDN'T BOTHER.
- WELL, IT LOOKED LIKE RAIN.
I FIGURE I'LL GO TOMORROW, RIGHT? HEY, DID YOU IRON THA BLOUSE I WANTED FOR TONIGHT? - YEAH.
IT'S IN THE CLOSET.
AND I TOOK YOUR COA TO THE CLEANERS.
AND THE PHONE COMPANY SAID THEY'LL BE HERE MONDAY TO PU IN YOUR PRIVATE LINE.
- THAT'S GOOD.
THANKS.
- LISTEN, RHODA.
THERE'S SOMETHING I WAN TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
- LISTEN, MA.
WHY DON'T I READ THE PAPER AND WE CAN TALK LATER? WHAT DO YOU THINK? - IT'S ALMOST NOON.
I THINK YOU OUGH TO GET OUT OF BED.
- MA, I'M TIRED.
I WAS OUT VERY LATE WITH JOE LAST NIGHT.
JUST TALKING.
- I'M NOT INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU DO ALL NIGHT.
IF, AT YOUR AGE, YOU HAVEN' LEARNED THAT A MAN DOESN'T BUY A COW IF HE CAN GE THE MILK FOR FREE - YOU KNOW, MA.
I THINK WE HAD THIS TALK BEFORE IN 1957.
- LISTEN, RHODA.
YOUR FATHER AND I ARE VERY CONCERNED ABOUT YOU.
- YOU MUST BE.
THIS IS SATURDAY MORNING, ISN'T IT? - LISTEN.
THE FIRST FEW DAYS YOU WERE HERE WERE VERY ROUTINE.
YOU WOULDN'T LE ME WAIT ON YOU.
YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO UNPACK YOUR BAG.
BUT NOW, I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
IT'S BEEN DAYS SINCE YOU SCREAMED AT ME.
- MA, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? - I DON'T LIKE TO SEE YOU THIS HAPPY LIVING IN YOUR OWN HOME.
- YOU ARE ACTING AS IF I'M ENJOYING THIS.
YEAH.
YOU WAITING ON ME HAND AND FOOT.
AND POP SLIPPING ME MONEY BECAUSE I'M UNEMPLOYED.
YOU THINK I LIKE IT? WELL, YOU'RE WRONG.
I WANT TO WORK.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR WORK.
I HAVE APPLIED FOR EVERY SINGLE WINDOW DRESSER JOB IN THE ENTIRE CITY OF NEW YORK, INCLUDING A PLACE OVER ON THIRD AVENUE CALLED PANTYHOSE CITY.
- YOU THINK I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR PROBLEMS, BUT I DO.
- NO, YOU DON'T, MA.
FOR THE LAST 37 YEARS YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN SETTLED.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOU A JOB OR A PLACE TO LIVE OR WONDER EVERY DAY IF POP IS THE RIGHT ONE.
- YOU THINK I STILL DON' HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT YOUR FATHER? - COME ON, MA, WILL YOU GIVE ME A BREAK, PLEASE? - LISTEN! EVERY EVENING WHEN WE SI IN THE LIVING ROOM WATCHING TELEVISION, I LOOK AT HIM AND I THINK, WHO IS HE? WHAT AM I DOING HERE WITH THIS STRANGE MAN? MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE TRIED TO MAKE A GO OF I WITH JOHNNY DELVECCHIO.
- HOW COME YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS? I MEAN, YOU NEVER TOLD ME STUFF LIKE THIS BEFORE.
EVER.
- I'M TRADING.
- HUH? - BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO SPILL YOUR GUTS OUT TO ME.
RHODA, COME ON.
SPILL OUT TO ME.
- OHOK.
MA, I'M FALLING APART HERE.
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW THAT I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO MAKE IT IN NEW YORK.
I'M LOSING MY SELF-CONFIDENCE.
I, UHEVERYTHING HAS JUS GOTTEN TOO MUCH FOR ME.
I'M REALLY SCARED.
AND I GUESS THAT'S WHY I'M BACK HOME HERE.
- OH, RHODA.
IT'S WONDERFUL THAT YOU'RE TELLING ME THESE THINGS.
AND I'M GOING TO HELP YOU.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE 14 AND YOU HAD TO GO TO CAMP? AND YOU HID UNDER THAT VERY BED AND I HAD TO DRAG YOU OUT? - YEAH.
OH, I HAD A GREA SUMMER THAT YEAR.
- YEAH EXCEPT THE COUNSELOR WAS TOO OLD FOR YOU.
LISTEN, I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE BEING SCARED BECAUSE I'M SCARED, TOO.
BECAUSE WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY TO YOU NOW IS VERY HARD.
- OK, MA.
- RHODA, DARLING GET OUT OF HERE.
- MA-- - NO, LOOK, I LOVE HAVING YOU LIVE HERE, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE UNDER THE BED ANYMORE, YOU JUS WON'T FIT.
AND THE LONGER YOU STAY HERE, THE HARDER IT WILL BE TO LEAVE.
YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANYTHING TO BE SCARED ABOUT, YOU KNOW.
I MEAN, YOUR DAD AND I WILL BE HERE WHENEVER YOU NEED US.
WE JUST SIGNED A NEW LEASE.
RHODA, GET UP AND GET OUT, HUH? - BOY, MA.
YOU MUST REALLY LOVE ME A LOT TO THROW ME OUT LIKE THIS.
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
- OH, BOY.
IT'S SOME TERRIFIC WORLD.
YOU BEG YOUR KID TO COME AND STAY WITH YOU AND SHE WON' HAVE ANY PART OF IT.
YOU THROW HER OUT AND SHE'S ALL OVER YOU.
COME ON, I'LL HELP YOU PACK.
IT'LL KILL ME, BUT I'LL HELP YOU.
- I CAN'T GET OVER THIS.
I CAN'T GE OVER IT, MA.
HERE ALL I REALLY NEEDED WAS A LITTLE MOTHERING.
WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGH I COULD GET I FROM MY OWN MOTHER? - LISTEN, I'LL TELL YOU, I DON'T FEEL TOO GOOD ABOUT YOU TRAVELING IN THE SUBWAYS THIS LATE AT NIGHT.
- OH, MA, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
CAN I BORROW YOUR SWEATER? - YEAH.
WHAT FOR? - WELL, YOU'LL SEE.
I HAVE THIS TRICK, SEE, THAT WORKS LIKE A CHARM.
YOU'LL SEE IN ONE SECOND.
NOW, YOU SEE, IT'S SAFER IN THE SUBWAY IF YOU DON' LOOK TOO SEXY.
- GEE, THAT'S A GOOD TIP.
I'LL HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT.
- OK, OK.
BYE, BABE.
- ALL SET.
- BYE, HONEY.
- SEE YA.
- SEE YOU SOON.
THANKS.