Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2018) s01e02 Episode Script
Origami Tsunami
1 Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power Rising up against evil paint the city green Raph is ready for a fight Leo's making a scene Mikey's got mad skills Donnie rocks machines With each other they discover Their destiny and rise Cowabunga Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power Rise [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING.]
Where's our free grub, noodle man? Okay, ha.
How 'bout some hot soup? [BOTH GROAN.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- [BOTH YELL.]
Too spicy for you? [LAUGHS.]
Everyone's a critic.
Hm.
Man, "Teriyaki Shakedown" always gets me so [INHALES.]
jazzed! Yeah, Lou Jitsu's the business! - [GRUNTS.]
- [GROANS.]
Then why do you insult the master with your poor technique? Hot soup! Do not worry.
Someday you will be great ninjas with a little practice is something I would say if I were a liar.
That's nice of you to say, Pop, but I'm tired of practicing.
Yeah, we can be heroes like Lou Jitsu! [LAUGHS.]
Nice try.
We got the squillz, we got the tight color-coordinated team look.
Let's do it! Let's go out and bust some bad guys! Yeah.
I just feel like, you know, we need a case to get the juices flowing a little bit.
You know, let's see what the internet has to say about it, shall we Yo, Leo, we're gonna be heroes! Okay, what's the plan? Solve the city's rat problem? Hey now.
I am standing right here.
Pfft, no way.
We're crime fighters! Okay, check this out: The Spine Breaking Bandit! [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Go big or go home! Yeah, go home on a stretcher.
What else you got? Uh, okay, here's something: The Long Island Mangler! Okay, Donnie.
I appreciate you giving your best effort, but maybe we should save mangling and spine breaking for, I don't know, our second day? All right, well, this one's kind of lame: someone stole paper from a delivery truck? Not on my watch! That's exactly the kind of junior level mischief we can put an end to.
Really? That'll make us heroes? But it's only paper It's only paper? [LAUGHING.]
I'm so sorry.
Donnie, what did he just say? Did he say it's only paper? - Yup.
- Did he say it's only paper? - Yes, he did.
- Okay! That's what they all say.
You think the road to hero town is paved with real crime? No! It's paved with the tears of the poor paper man.
And who helps that guy? I'll tell you who: We are who.
ALL: Yes! [GRUNTING.]
[ENERGETIC HIP-HOP MUSIC.]
What kind of weirdo steals paper? A dreamer! You look at a blank sheet and see nothing.
They see possibilities [GROANS.]
There's only one store they haven't hit yet, and it is right over there oh, convenient.
How 'bout we go stealth and make 'em wish they stole toilet paper? - [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Ha, okay.
[GRUNTING.]
[STEALTHY MUSIC.]
- Whoa! - [OBJECTS CLATTERING.]
[CAT SHRIEKS.]
- Hm? - Huh? You two go left.
Mikey, go right.
I'll take the roof and swoop down like a boss! [THRILLING MUSIC.]
- Whoa! - [BOTH YELL.]
- [ALL GROAN.]
- Where are they? - That is you, right? - Swoopin' like a boss! [YELLS.]
No, no, no! Ow! [ENGINE REVVING.]
Uh, quick question: Did we seriously just get schooled by paper thieves? I don't swoop like a boss.
I swoop like a noob.
Man, this seemed like a really cool idea until we didn't succeed at it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Where'd my brothers go? Mikey, where's your - legendary optimism? - [GROANS.]
Raph, where's your, ya know, your go-getter attitude? And Donnie, where's your your thing, your emotionless passion? [QUIETLY.]
Here.
We can still catch these lame old paper crooks and be heroes! Yeah, that's gonna be hard.
This was the last paper store in town.
Hmm Or was it? Yeah, I I literally just said that.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[GASP.]
It's beautiful.
Do you really think that this is going hook the thieves? The only paper we have is made from salami which is round.
Paper is not round.
Yes, it'll work.
Raph, stop eating the plan! [GRUNTS.]
Phew.
Okay.
You can do this.
Hi, I'm here for the job interview aw no.
Man, I thought it was weird to have a job interview at midnight.
Ah, Miss O'Neill.
[CAR APPROACHING.]
[GASPS.]
Customers! [BRAKES SCREECHING.]
April, you're hired! Just follow the sales script and remember the customer is always right unless they're a psychotic paper thief.
Uh, okay.
We'll be in the back.
Welcome to Leo's Paper Hut.
Can I interest you in our - Mm-mm-mm! - What is "mmmm-mm"? She's supposed to say paper! [GRUNTING.]
Get outta the way! April! The salami paper! It's gone! [ENGINE STARTING.]
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
No way! [GRUNTS.]
- Mm! Mm! - [THUD.]
Ow.
This was supposed to be easy.
How do we keep losing these clowns? Leo, do you really think I would have let you make salami paper without putting a tracer in it? - [STOMACH GROWLING.]
- [GASPS.]
It's okay.
I put two.
[DRAMATIC HIP-HOP MUSIC.]
Okay guys, this is our moment.
They may have given us the slip before - Twice before! - Thank you, Mikey.
Twice before, but now we've got them cornered and there's nothing that can stop us.
[WHEEL CREAKS.]
[THUD.]
[GRUNTING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- Okay, twerp and - [GASPS.]
Surprisingly big man.
It's four against two, so what say we just call it a day, right? Whoa! They've got footprints on their faces! Uh, are those flames on their heads? Feels like a real hazard for a paper thief.
You! I'm gonna grind your bones with my fists.
Ooh, that's inspired.
We're both gonna grind your bones.
Right.
Listen, bubs.
Before we put our footprints on your faces, We gotta ask: what's with all the paper? [PERCUSSIVE MUSIC.]
Yay, arts and crafts! [YELLS.]
ALL: Whoa! [WAILING.]
- Huh? - [GRUNTS.]
Uh, hey, maybe we should fight now and register our amazement later? [GRUNTS.]
What? [ALL GROANING.]
[SPITTING.]
It's all in my mouth! Wait a minute, wait a minute! It's just confetti! - Huh.
Oh yeah.
- Paper viscera.
[GRUNTING.]
Whoa! [GROANS.]
Oh, oh! [YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
We're getting nowhere fighting these guys.
We gotta take out the source.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
You think you're pretty good, huh? Indeed.
[GROANS.]
You are good.
[PAPER WHIRRING.]
What? [GROWLING.]
ALL: Uh [GRUMBLES.]
[GROWLING.]
[STRAINING.]
Leo! Donnie, it's piñata time! Ah! - Ah! - Whoa! [GRUNTING.]
[STRAINING.]
[GROWLING.]
Uh.
Huh? [SNARLING.]
[CHUCKLING.]
[ALL GROANING.]
Hero town! Population, me! [WHIRRING.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [YELLS.]
[BOTH YELL.]
[BOTH GROAN.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Huh.
Ah! [GRUMBLING.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[PAPER WHOOSHING.]
[HORN BLARES.]
[ALL GASP.]
Huh? [GRUNTING.]
Hm.
Mikey, the sprinklers! I'm on it! [ALARM SOUNDS.]
[GRUMBLES.]
You may have shredded our plans for now.
But next time, you will feel the fury of 1,000 feet! Ooh, you're on fire today! [CHUCKLING.]
Ew! That's nightmare fuel, man! [SPLAT.]
Okay, salami origami doesn't work.
Hey, look.
They vanished.
Then what are we looking at? [EASYGOING MUSIC.]
Oh.
What is that? Don't do it.
- Don't do it.
Don't do it.
- No.
No.
- No! - Don't do it.
- Raph, no! - Oh! - Look at me.
No! - Ah.
- Ugh! - No! Ugh! Gross! - Ugh.
Oh.
- What? Fivesecond rule! So does this count as a win? Well, I don't know.
Let's think about it.
Did the bad guys get their big supply of paper? Uh, no.
Did they build their army of soldiers? [LAUGHS.]
No.
No, they didn't.
Are they otherwise thwarted, and we unscathed? - BOTH: Yes! - Hero mission - accomplished, my friends! - [LAUGHS.]
Yeah!
Where's our free grub, noodle man? Okay, ha.
How 'bout some hot soup? [BOTH GROAN.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- [BOTH YELL.]
Too spicy for you? [LAUGHS.]
Everyone's a critic.
Hm.
Man, "Teriyaki Shakedown" always gets me so [INHALES.]
jazzed! Yeah, Lou Jitsu's the business! - [GRUNTS.]
- [GROANS.]
Then why do you insult the master with your poor technique? Hot soup! Do not worry.
Someday you will be great ninjas with a little practice is something I would say if I were a liar.
That's nice of you to say, Pop, but I'm tired of practicing.
Yeah, we can be heroes like Lou Jitsu! [LAUGHS.]
Nice try.
We got the squillz, we got the tight color-coordinated team look.
Let's do it! Let's go out and bust some bad guys! Yeah.
I just feel like, you know, we need a case to get the juices flowing a little bit.
You know, let's see what the internet has to say about it, shall we Yo, Leo, we're gonna be heroes! Okay, what's the plan? Solve the city's rat problem? Hey now.
I am standing right here.
Pfft, no way.
We're crime fighters! Okay, check this out: The Spine Breaking Bandit! [CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Go big or go home! Yeah, go home on a stretcher.
What else you got? Uh, okay, here's something: The Long Island Mangler! Okay, Donnie.
I appreciate you giving your best effort, but maybe we should save mangling and spine breaking for, I don't know, our second day? All right, well, this one's kind of lame: someone stole paper from a delivery truck? Not on my watch! That's exactly the kind of junior level mischief we can put an end to.
Really? That'll make us heroes? But it's only paper It's only paper? [LAUGHING.]
I'm so sorry.
Donnie, what did he just say? Did he say it's only paper? - Yup.
- Did he say it's only paper? - Yes, he did.
- Okay! That's what they all say.
You think the road to hero town is paved with real crime? No! It's paved with the tears of the poor paper man.
And who helps that guy? I'll tell you who: We are who.
ALL: Yes! [GRUNTING.]
[ENERGETIC HIP-HOP MUSIC.]
What kind of weirdo steals paper? A dreamer! You look at a blank sheet and see nothing.
They see possibilities [GROANS.]
There's only one store they haven't hit yet, and it is right over there oh, convenient.
How 'bout we go stealth and make 'em wish they stole toilet paper? - [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- Ha, okay.
[GRUNTING.]
[STEALTHY MUSIC.]
- Whoa! - [OBJECTS CLATTERING.]
[CAT SHRIEKS.]
- Hm? - Huh? You two go left.
Mikey, go right.
I'll take the roof and swoop down like a boss! [THRILLING MUSIC.]
- Whoa! - [BOTH YELL.]
- [ALL GROAN.]
- Where are they? - That is you, right? - Swoopin' like a boss! [YELLS.]
No, no, no! Ow! [ENGINE REVVING.]
Uh, quick question: Did we seriously just get schooled by paper thieves? I don't swoop like a boss.
I swoop like a noob.
Man, this seemed like a really cool idea until we didn't succeed at it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Where'd my brothers go? Mikey, where's your - legendary optimism? - [GROANS.]
Raph, where's your, ya know, your go-getter attitude? And Donnie, where's your your thing, your emotionless passion? [QUIETLY.]
Here.
We can still catch these lame old paper crooks and be heroes! Yeah, that's gonna be hard.
This was the last paper store in town.
Hmm Or was it? Yeah, I I literally just said that.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[GASP.]
It's beautiful.
Do you really think that this is going hook the thieves? The only paper we have is made from salami which is round.
Paper is not round.
Yes, it'll work.
Raph, stop eating the plan! [GRUNTS.]
Phew.
Okay.
You can do this.
Hi, I'm here for the job interview aw no.
Man, I thought it was weird to have a job interview at midnight.
Ah, Miss O'Neill.
[CAR APPROACHING.]
[GASPS.]
Customers! [BRAKES SCREECHING.]
April, you're hired! Just follow the sales script and remember the customer is always right unless they're a psychotic paper thief.
Uh, okay.
We'll be in the back.
Welcome to Leo's Paper Hut.
Can I interest you in our - Mm-mm-mm! - What is "mmmm-mm"? She's supposed to say paper! [GRUNTING.]
Get outta the way! April! The salami paper! It's gone! [ENGINE STARTING.]
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
No way! [GRUNTS.]
- Mm! Mm! - [THUD.]
Ow.
This was supposed to be easy.
How do we keep losing these clowns? Leo, do you really think I would have let you make salami paper without putting a tracer in it? - [STOMACH GROWLING.]
- [GASPS.]
It's okay.
I put two.
[DRAMATIC HIP-HOP MUSIC.]
Okay guys, this is our moment.
They may have given us the slip before - Twice before! - Thank you, Mikey.
Twice before, but now we've got them cornered and there's nothing that can stop us.
[WHEEL CREAKS.]
[THUD.]
[GRUNTING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- Okay, twerp and - [GASPS.]
Surprisingly big man.
It's four against two, so what say we just call it a day, right? Whoa! They've got footprints on their faces! Uh, are those flames on their heads? Feels like a real hazard for a paper thief.
You! I'm gonna grind your bones with my fists.
Ooh, that's inspired.
We're both gonna grind your bones.
Right.
Listen, bubs.
Before we put our footprints on your faces, We gotta ask: what's with all the paper? [PERCUSSIVE MUSIC.]
Yay, arts and crafts! [YELLS.]
ALL: Whoa! [WAILING.]
- Huh? - [GRUNTS.]
Uh, hey, maybe we should fight now and register our amazement later? [GRUNTS.]
What? [ALL GROANING.]
[SPITTING.]
It's all in my mouth! Wait a minute, wait a minute! It's just confetti! - Huh.
Oh yeah.
- Paper viscera.
[GRUNTING.]
Whoa! [GROANS.]
Oh, oh! [YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
We're getting nowhere fighting these guys.
We gotta take out the source.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
You think you're pretty good, huh? Indeed.
[GROANS.]
You are good.
[PAPER WHIRRING.]
What? [GROWLING.]
ALL: Uh [GRUMBLES.]
[GROWLING.]
[STRAINING.]
Leo! Donnie, it's piñata time! Ah! - Ah! - Whoa! [GRUNTING.]
[STRAINING.]
[GROWLING.]
Uh.
Huh? [SNARLING.]
[CHUCKLING.]
[ALL GROANING.]
Hero town! Population, me! [WHIRRING.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [YELLS.]
[BOTH YELL.]
[BOTH GROAN.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Huh.
Ah! [GRUMBLING.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[PAPER WHOOSHING.]
[HORN BLARES.]
[ALL GASP.]
Huh? [GRUNTING.]
Hm.
Mikey, the sprinklers! I'm on it! [ALARM SOUNDS.]
[GRUMBLES.]
You may have shredded our plans for now.
But next time, you will feel the fury of 1,000 feet! Ooh, you're on fire today! [CHUCKLING.]
Ew! That's nightmare fuel, man! [SPLAT.]
Okay, salami origami doesn't work.
Hey, look.
They vanished.
Then what are we looking at? [EASYGOING MUSIC.]
Oh.
What is that? Don't do it.
- Don't do it.
Don't do it.
- No.
No.
- No! - Don't do it.
- Raph, no! - Oh! - Look at me.
No! - Ah.
- Ugh! - No! Ugh! Gross! - Ugh.
Oh.
- What? Fivesecond rule! So does this count as a win? Well, I don't know.
Let's think about it.
Did the bad guys get their big supply of paper? Uh, no.
Did they build their army of soldiers? [LAUGHS.]
No.
No, they didn't.
Are they otherwise thwarted, and we unscathed? - BOTH: Yes! - Hero mission - accomplished, my friends! - [LAUGHS.]
Yeah!