Robin Hood s01e02 Episode Script

Find out that man's name.
I have come to visit Robin of Locksley, but find him not at home.
Perhaps one of you would like to inform me of his whereabouts.
He and I need to have a little chat, a conversation.
Nobody knows.
Nobody knows.
Then there is a reward.
Shall we say 20 pounds? And then all of a sudden somebody does know.
Loosen your tongues or lose your tongues! Cut out his tongue One an hour until somebody talks.
(Screams) - You're making a mistake.
- What? You're gonna send an army to hunt us down, tear us limb from limb? You think we're frightened of the Sheriff? Are we? - No.
- No, we are also against the Sheriff.
- What do you want, a medal? - We should be on the same side.
Master, tell him.
That rabbit is not I think you'll find that rabbit is not yet cooked.
- I think you'll find he eats them raw.
- Raw?! - Is that wise? I mean, that is dangerous.
- Oh! Will you just shut up? - You're a noble? - Yes and no.
Smells like one.
Smells lovely.
Flowers.
Lavender.
- Rose petals.
- What? You rub it on, did you, lavender balm? Yeah, you smell too.
No, I had a bath.
He washed in rose petals.
And they reckon they're same side as us.
You know any outlaws who take lavender baths? No! John? It's not lavender.
All right.
Got a ha'penny here, John! You have the horses, leave him his ha'penny.
How come you got no purse? Because I was not planning on coming to the woods.
- Is this what you do? - What? - Stealing willy-nilly.
- Stealing willy-nilly? I can't understand what he's saying.
Can you? Do you care who you steal from? My friend here has but a ha'penny.
What you take from him might be all he has.
- Yeah, it is all I have.
- Heartbreaking.
Do we care? - We don't care.
- We're dead men.
Think about it outlaws.
Oh, that is sophisticated.
Oh, big words.
Scary.
(Whistles) Those were horrible men.
They could have left us here to die for all they care.
If they had not taken our weapons, I'd say we should go after them and give them a hiding.
A hiding to remember.
But you.
You let me think - You freed yourself, why did you not fight? - Erm I thought it best to wait.
Why? Because, Much, you were right.
We should teach them a lesson.
Gentlemen! Oh, no! Master, surely (Robin chuckles) Yeah.
Let's go.
Tick-tock.
Tick-tock.
Have I told you that I can't taste wine? Have the best, of course but I don't have the palate for it.
(Laughter) Yeah? What about a hat? Oh, yeah, yeah.
I think your find that's not properly cooked.
This is our forest too.
I think you'll find.
Take your clothes off.
Robin! Aaagh! Aaaaghh! This is unacceptable.
The master will When this dispute is resolved, Robin will return, he will.
Robin, he'll never be master of anywhere now.
Master of Sherwood, maybe.
- Robin of the wood.
- I like that, Robin of the wood.
- Robin Wood? - (Laughs) - Guy would like that.
- You should tell him.
- You tell him.
- I'm not gonna tell him.
He might not like it.
You are revolting.
You know that? My master and I fought for five years in the Holy Land.
For what? So that people like you could run amok with your lawlessness and your disgusting camp and your snide your snide Your snide, your snide? - Dance.
- You, what? - Dance.
- No way.
Ow! Dance! Very good, like dancing bears.
How does it feel? You treat your fellow man like an animal! How does it feel? You take from those worse off than yourselves and leave them to die.
All right, you've made your point.
You're not Englishmen.
You're not the England we fought for.
Men who think it is a boast to be dead.
What do you think you're doing robbing him, when the Sheriff over there is robbing it all 20 times over? Skulking in the woods, while he steals spirits and livelihoods.
Why are you skulking in the woods? What are you gonna do about it? Stop him.
I'm going to stop him.
Well, you can't stop a sheriff.
Only the Crown can withdraw his license.
When the King returns, he will have his comeuppance.
Until then, we will scupper his sadistic punishments.
We will stop his insane taxes and give them back to the poor where they belong.
- Sure.
- We will rob him.
And if you dead men had had spines in your backs that's what you'd have been doing for the last five years.
Rousing, lavender boy.
- Good luck.
- Yeah, see ya.
That'd be a mistake, I think you'll find.
(Bird screeches) You are in no position to argue dunderhead! Oh! Look, you've tied us up, we've tied you up.
We could call it quits.
We could all be on our way.
Him - I do not like.
- It is mutual.
(Whispers) Are you Robin of Locksley? Robin, Earl of Huntingdon.
Good.
(Church bells chiming) Another hour.
This is not necessary.
Where is Robin? Talk! He will never be your master again.
You need have no fear of reprisals from him.
I'm your master now.
For good.
(Much) At least have the courtesy to untie him.
Locksley? You brought us home.
- It seems there may be a reward.
- 20 pounds.
Take him down.
See if we can get summat for this rabble too.
- Me? I'm supposed to be dead.
- Me too, they won't recognize you.
Well, if they do, I'll be hanged.
- John? - John can't go, can he? If they're gonna recognize anyone, it's gonna be John.
We all go.
It is unfortunate.
A man goes to war, his spirit can be damaged, his vision blurred, his understanding of law and order.
This is what has happened to Robin.
I have heard that there are camps in the Holy Land where men are taught to hate their own land, to return home to wreak havoc and destruction.
Maybe this is what has happened to Robin, we don't know.
But what we do know is that by his actions in Nottingham, your former master, did not, as some of the romantics amongst you might believe, strike a blow for freedom.
Make no mistake about it.
He perverted the course of justice, and in so doing, he attacked the very fabric of our state.
The state that we all work for, the state that we all pay our taxes for.
He would rob us of that.
Of our taxes, of our hard work.
Another tongue, I suppose.
No, no, no, no! - Oh, God! No! - No! That is nasty and that is brutish.
- That is Alice.
- Alice? - My wife.
- You're Alice's John? She thought you were dead.
It's you they want, we go now.
(Robin) You can't, you'll hang.
There is no time.
I can save your wife.
Put me down.
Untie me.
My bow, quickly.
- (Alice cries out) - I am good with a bow.
- You saw him shoot your feet.
- Trust me.
He's here.
Find him.
- Let's go.
- Godspeed.
What? You have served me well, my friend.
And I have led you to this.
- Apologies.
- No.
Go.
I will find a way through this.
- The Sheriff will hang you.
- If he does, at least I will not die a dead man.
Good scheme, Sheriff.
Very effective.
Impressive logic.
Now, I wonder, If I tell you where I am, can I claim the 20 pounds? That would be a pound or so for each family here.
Eat a whole winter off that.
Amusing.
Put down your weapon, you're surrounded.
I am Guy of Gisborne, the new lord of this manor and soon to be Earl of Huntingdon.
Your presence here is no longer required.
Put down your weapon.
That was a cruel game to play.
Game? You don't understand.
You do not play games with me.
You made a mistake in Nottingham.
Hm? Trying to be the peasants' hero.
Well, why don't you be the peasants' hero and show me how it's done? Oh, shall we have a meeting in the morning to discuss it? A clue - no.
In the morning you shall hang.
Aww.
All hope lost.
- I liked him.
- I did not.
He saved your wife.
"Liked"? He's not dead.
Fool.
Ah Are we rich? - What's the matter? - Saw his wife.
- No reward? - My master gave himself in.
- To the Sheriff? - The Sheriff was cutting out tongues.
He could hardly stand by and watch people lose their tongues.
(Chuckles) That would be funny, wouldn't it? If instead of "Cat got your tongue?" They said, "Sheriff got your tongue?" What? If someone was a bit, you know, quiet, you'd go, "What's the matter? "Sheriff got your tongue?" Look, we cannot just sit here.
We've got to do something.
We've got to go to Nottingham and we've got to get him out.
How? - No point anyway.
- No point? You would be dead if Robin had not - That's true.
- You would be dead.
Mind you, I weren't supposed to hang in the first place.
That was just a confusion.
Look, you can't just let him die.
Will? Very well.
I shall go alone.
See ya.
Oi! Hold it, no horse.
In which house is my wife? I will fetch her.
- Fetch her where? - Here.
A woman can live in the forest same as us.
- Alice can't live in the forest.
- Why not? Ah there 's something you don't know.
(Muffled screaming) Not so high and mighty now, are we? Oh! That's for the priest trick.
Could have cost me my job.
One job to save four lives? Won't be saving anyone now, my lovely, wherever you're from.
He's not Robin of Locksley any more.
Robin Wood, they're calling him.
Robin Hood? There will be no hood for you tomorrow, my lovely.
The Sheriff wants the rebels to see the fear in your eyes.
He wants them to see your eyes pop right out.
- Nothing?! - What can I do? I warned him, the Sheriff.
Yes, my Lord, but He should have listened to my father, now he is an outlaw.
- I know, my Ladyship.
- And not a very impressive one.
That is Forgive me.
That is not fair, he is most impressive.
He is caught after just one day.
Does that impress you? He gave himself up to save tongues.
- Tongues? - In Locksley.
The Sheriff was cutting out people's tongues until somebody told him where Robin was.
I hate the Sheriff and I hate you, if you aren't gonna help Robin.
Young man, I will speak in court, of course, but your master has doomed himself.
His fate is Resign yourself.
In the Holy Land, my master had dreams.
He spoke your name.
Good night.
(Whistles) Who are you? - Who are you? - John.
- John what? - John Little.
- Oh! - But people call me Little John.
- Do you know why? - Why? Because my father was called John too, John Little.
He was a hero.
He was big, I think.
What's your name? I am I'm a friend of your mother' s.
- How is she? - Always tired, always sewing.
- But do you know what? - What? Everything's gonna be better now because Robin's back from the Holy Land.
Oh? He always makes sure people have enough to eat.
I had a feast at the big house, and I had so much pork my belly ached, and Mother had fish, but Eugh! Fish I do not like.
F Fish is her favorite.
Robin will come back from Nottingham.
- Won't he? - I (Alice) Little John! Where are you? Little John? - Do you want to come in? - I don't think I can, Little John.
(Alice) John! It's late, come on.
I've realized something about you.
I thought you didn't want to talk.
- Mm, that was before I realized.
- Realized what? You are a renowned marksman with the bow.
You saw me about to excise a tongue or two, you could have shot me, why didn't you? You had men everywhere.
I had only a few.
- We were outnumbered.
- Yeah, well, that may be true.
But you gave yourself up.
I care about those people, my people, more than I care about myself.
- You would not understand.
- Yeah, but that's not the point.
- Do you want to know what the point is? - No.
The point is you care more about my life than you do about your own.
- No.
- Then why didn't you kill me? Surely you must have known that I would see you executed.
Have you lost your nerve? Have you lost your taste for blood? Hm? Robin of Locksley, honored for his service in the King's private guard.
How many men did you kill in the Holy Land, I wonder.
Yet here we are in Locksley, people that you love very much in trouble, and you have the chance to shoot me but you don't take it.
I would kill you in an instant.
Well, maybe.
If that was the only way to prevent bloodshed, but But it wasn't the only way, was it? No, you didn't have to kill me because you could sacrifice yourself and that is what you did.
You think of me what you will.
If I am dying tomorrow it makes no difference.
Oh, look who doesn't want to talk now.
Jailer, open the gate.
You're free to go.
But I should say if you do, then tomorrow one or two of your villager friends Well, they won't be, how shall we say, on speaking terms with you.
I like it, this is good.
I do not know why Englishmen travel 2,000 miles to fight evil when the real cancer is right here.
Listen, I can hear a noise, can you hear a noise? I think it's a dead man talking.
I'd have gone if I were you.
You're not me.
(Alice) # Have you ever kissed a boy called John? # For if you've never kissed a boy called John # You don't know what you've missed # Not kissing Little John # (Humming) Think the whiney one'll make it? What's he gonna do? Stroll into Nottingham and say, "Excuse me, can my friend lavender boy go free?" Lambs to the slaughter, both of 'em.
- Could have given him the horse.
- Then we lose a horse, too.
Think about it.
If Robin dies, the people of Locksley will be like you.
What do you mean "like us"? They'll have nothing left to live for.
They'll be dead men.
Well, you go and save him, then.
See ya! We don't do town.
We're outlaws.
We're on the run.
What happens to loved ones you leave? - Town is death.
- Have you seen what happens to a family - when there is only one breadwinner? - Heartbreaking! Are you deaf?! We don't go to Nottingham! We go to Nottingham! (Crow caws) To what do we owe the pleasure of your company, Sir Guy? I would be pleased if you would come and visit me at Locksley, now that it's mine.
I do not know.
I have ambitions which are greater, of course, you know that.
But for now to have land once more in the Gisborne name, my father would be proud.
I am very glad for you.
Some of my men, I know this for a fact, used to laugh at my title.
Guy of Gisborne when there was no Gisborne.
And Locksley is your Gisborne? Yes, actually I am intent on changing its name.
Does changing a name really make a difference? When a woman marries, she changes her name.
It makes a difference.
- And what of Robin? - What of Robin? He will contest your acquisition of his lands, surely.
- He will die.
- If he is found guilty.
There 's no need for a trial.
He will hang in the morning.
There must be a trial.
It is the law.
Yeah, but he is an outlaw.
You see, in these straitened times, the Sheriff has made special provision.
Outlaws are classed as enemies of war, thus we can hold them without trial.
- No.
- And we can execute them without trial.
No, it cannot be.
- We're at war.
- Yes, in the Holy Land.
That does not mean we dispense with justice here.
I'm sorry, I was not expecting you.
Do not worry, Father, Sir Guy was just leaving.
(Dog barking) Shoo! Shoo! Go away, shoo! Please! (Cock crowing) (Man) Who's a good boy, eh? Need some help? Yeah, I was, er I was just checking up there and, yes, as I thought, the ladder is completely useless.
Well, come on, then.
Come on then, my lovely.
Let's have some entertainment.
- Where is it? - Where is what? Please, the ring my father gave you years ago before he knew the wickedness of your heart.
Madam, I told you before, asking doesn't usually work.
I'll do his thumb.
- Will those work? - These? They're lovely.
- When he speaks will you hear? - Of course.
Well, that I cannot allow.
You might get there first and steal the ring.
Madam, I can assure you, I'm a man of simple pleasures.
Inflicting pain, that's enough for me.
Maybe, but if the ring is not where he tells me, suspicion will fall on you and that would be unfair.
- I will speak with him alone first.
You may go.
- I can't do that.
Wait outside, he cannot escape.
He will not dare attack me.
- No, I - Leave.
Yes, Your Ladyship.
You are an utter fool.
- You said that already.
- Oh, you listened? I also told you confronting the Sheriff wouldn't work.
- You didn't listen to that.
- I did not have much choice.
Everything is a choice, everything we do.
Grow up.
I prevented unjust hangings.
I protected people from my village.
- Oh, that will make your death romantic.
- It would make it honorable.
Honorable? And what about the people you were so honorably protecting? Who will protect them when you're dead? Oh! What is it with men and glory? Glory above sense and above reason.
- It is principle.
- Principle is making a difference and you can't do that if you're dead.
You could have stayed here instead of following your king to the Holy Land if you'd cared so much about your precious people, but you didn't.
You chose war.
You chose glory.
What is this about? It is about you saying that you care about the people of Locksley, when the truth is you ran off to battle thousands of miles away.
You had something on your cheek.
Right, this is what we do.
Stand by the door, I'll scream, in he comes, you strike him and run.
I've paid a man by the east gate, you'll not be seen if you leave before the day watch.
- I cannot go unseen.
- You cannot go seen.
- I cannot let the Sheriff win.
- Have you not heard a word I've said? Trust me, I have a plan.
Well, half a plan.
I love it when you look at me in anger.
Oh! (Banging outside) This is a rescue.
And we are undetected.
(Man, shouting) In the dungeon! Outlaw! Open this door.
Ah! Oh, thank God! This man needs help.
- Thank you for coming.
- Quick, before they see the open gates.
Hang on.
Hold an escape route for me, I need five minutes.
There 's something I must do before I can go with you.
- What? - If I am longer than that, leave without me.
- Yes.
- Thank you.
Master, no.
You cannot go back in there.
If you go back in and die, then I will die, of grief.
So you must come now, if only to save me.
That is why I love you.
And you I need help.
- It is dangerous.
- Yes.
Why him when you love me? Why not me? Here they come! Whoa, wait.
Last man.
Hello there! I was just passing and the Sheriff said for me to drop in at any time.
My Lord, Robin has escaped! (Thud) What do you want? Yesterday in Locksley, you revealed your true colors.
Today, I reveal mine.
You were right.
I have lost my taste for bloodshed but if you ever callously or needlessly hurt anyone as a way of getting to me, if you cut out a tongue or brand an arm, or even so much as pluck the hair of an innocent person to get to me, in the name of King Richard, so help me, I will kill you.
- I don't believe you.
- Trust me.
What has changed since yesterday? Nothing.
Prove it.
I will not change.
I will stoop low, so kill me now.
Impressive.
But each arrow that hits the wood Well, that is a point lost, isn't it? What's surprising is you haven't even maimed me.
I'm not even grazed, surely I deserve at least that.
Are you afraid of authority? Or is it, secretly you know that I'm right? That we must have law and order.
I think it is.
I think that is why I shall have you hang yourself.
Now I have maimed you.
It's a scratch, hm? My point, well, it still stands.
- Lavender? - Lavender.
But my pain shall be salved by a much sweeter balm, the knowledge that you are weak.
As weak as your charming, sweet conscience is strong.
You overestimate my conscience.
Now, do precisely as I say.
We're going to the tower.
Stop! Stop! Do not harm those men, they're free to go.
I have an announcement to make.
- I.
- I Vaizey, Sheriff of Nottingham - In recognition.
in recognition - Of my.
of my illegal actions yesterday in Locksley - Do humbly apologize.
do humbly apologize to the innocent people who have suffered at my hands.
I promise to pay 500 pounds.
I promise to pay No! No, I cannot go on.
You will have to kill Guards! Guards! Stop those men! Much! Much! And shoot Locksley! Much! Tie this off.
Robin, where? Here! - You, defend me.
- Me? (Little John) Yes! Yes! - That arrow hurt, lavender boy! - Heartbreaking.
Ready? Go! (Cheering) That her? (Allan) She's your wife? What does she see in you? (Forrest) Look, she's seen it.
Look! - That is good.
- Yeah.
Come on! You know, I myself, have no family at all, of course.
No family.
No wife, children.
Strangely, it doesn't bother me.
Not at all.
Not at all.
Mm Excuse me, I think you'll find that's not properly cooked.
Very funny.