Royal Pains s01e02 Episode Script

I'm Hank.
I was your typical emergency room doctor.
Until I got fired.
You let a billionaire hospital trustee die to save some kid off the street.
I made a judgment call.
You made a mistake.
This is my brother.
I'm Evan R.
Lawson, CPA.
He took me away from my troubles and to the Hamptons.
And suddenly, I had a chance to become a whole new kind of doctor.
It turns out the wealthy and not so wealthy out here could use a guy who makes house calls.
So, I've got a second chance to do what I do best.
What Can I help you? It's an abomination, what you're doing.
You can't separate an egg from a yolk.
It's like separating the Earth from the moon, or thunder from lightning, or Hall from Oates.
You just compared Daryl Hall to the Earth.
What do you know about taste? And egg whites happen to be loaded with protein, low in calories, have no fat, and Tastes like it.
Oh! What did you do? In the bowl, Hank.
The goal is to get the egg in the bowl.
Look.
I spent years at a job where I had to scrub in and out countless times a day.
I'm messy at home because I can be.
Now look, I'll clean up.
Oh, really? You'll clean up? Like you clean up your clothes? Or the towel on the bathroom floor? Who are you? All I'm saying is, it's been really great living with you again.
You know, it's like old times.
Sharing a place with my big brother, and the bonding and everything Wait for it.
Here it comes.
But you are the biggest slob I've ever met in my life.
So, I make a mess, I clean it up.
No.
You make a mess and I clean it up.
What does it matter? It's our home.
It matters because A, you're a slob.
And B It's not just our home.
It's also going to be our office.
HankMed's workstation.
I That Check it out.
I made a blueprint.
Okay.
So, I've divided the space into quadrants.
Quadrants? It's four parts.
I know what a quadrant is.
Work environment in quadrant one, sleeping quarters in quadrant two.
Stop saying "quadrant.
" Wet bar in Wet bar over here.
Wet bar? Yeah, wet bar.
That's pretty cool, right? It's what people do out here.
What? Get soused? Yeah, basically.
Are you going to get that? Uh No, ah, ah, ah, ah! Work before food.
This is Hank.
Hi.
Of course.
Just text me the address.
Okay.
Yeah? I just No.
No.
All right.
Have fun.
Hey.
Hey.
Everything okay? Yeah.
Follow me.
Sure.
What's up? Good morning.
Just play along.
Dr.
Lawson, Sheila Montgomery.
So glad you could make it.
Me, too.
From what Jill tells me, you and this turnkey, center hall, modern colonial are made for each other.
I had no idea you were so familiar with my architectural leanings.
I surprise people.
Dr.
Lawson, allow me to show you the great room.
I don't want to waste your time.
What? I'm not really a big great room man.
But this, however, is truly a great, great room.
One of the greatest.
And it's really great.
Sorry to pry.
I couldn't help but notice.
What did you do to your arm? Oh, burned myself taking cookies out of the oven.
Occupational hazard.
It's a little realtor trick.
Before you show a place, bake fresh cookies.
It makes a house smell like a home.
Aw.
Well, that explains my sudden craving for a glass of milk.
Did you see a doctor about that? Oh.
Don't worry, Hank.
Sheila's on top of it.
She has to be, as a diabetic.
Diabetic? You really should see your doctor, get that looked at.
I will.
I just have a full day of potential renters.
If you leave that wound untreated, it could get very serious.
You are absolutely right.
Let me show you the master bedroom.
Little doctor trick.
When you're a doctor with a busy diabetic who has an untreated burn, you treat it.
I want you to shower the wound, using soap, three to four times a day.
Make sure you pat it dry and cover it with a clean bandage.
If it starts looking red, or puss-ey, I want you to call me immediately.
And watch your sugars, okay? Thanks.
Are you sure you don't want to see the basement? It was just renovated.
Hank has to get back to work.
Yes.
I do.
Then, promise me you'll come back and see the house at sunset.
Oh, I don't It's magical then.
It is? Key's under the mat.
Bring a bottle of wine.
I guarantee it's the most romantic view in the Hamptons.
How can I say no to that? Why did I say yes to that? Because you're a good guy.
And who is she again? Sheila's a neighbor.
Her COBRA coverage ran out, and I offered to help, but she's too proud.
Thanks for coming, and being so cool.
Cool? That's me, you know.
Mr.
Cool.
No, no.
Look, I'm happy to do it.
Just give me a little warning next time? My playing along skills are still coming along.
Yeah, well, hopefully, there won't be a next time.
I'm sending letters to all the patients who've been frozen out of the hospital, letting them know that the Hamptons free clinic is on schedule to open in the fall.
Congratulations.
Well, thank you.
For some reason, I find myself craving chocolate chip cookies.
You want to grab a bite to eat? I only have 30 minutes until my next meeting.
We'll take big bites.
Hey, Divya.
What time is it? Oh.
Okay, okay.
Rain check? We'll see.
"We'll see.
" Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late.
Well, rule number one of concierge doctoring, Hank.
You don't keep the rich people waiting.
Good to know.
Yeah, actually, come to think of it, concierge doctors in the Hamptons by definition are required to be arrogant, boring, and quick to scope out Libby When she's in a bikini.
Cut me some slack.
I'm new at this.
But also good to know.
You seem to lack all of those qualities.
Wow.
Thank you guys so much.
Okay.
Shall we remove the sutures? Yes.
Should we just do it out here? I don't see why not.
This will be my first suture extraction pool-side.
The surgeon did nice work.
He was under a lot of pressure.
Why? Was your father standing over him? No.
I was.
Imagine being Mozart's piano tuner, but then more stressful than that.
I guess your dad didn't visit? Right.
Busy man.
We're all busy, Hank.
All right.
You may feel a little pull.
I'll live.
Tucker, we never received your father's signed form of consent.
I'd be happy to forge one.
You really should see his forgeries.
They are works of art.
Yeah, you know what? How about we get an original? Yeah.
Just as soon as Dad gets back.
Oh.
There's a retirement party this afternoon Mr.
Bryant is invited to, and Tucker has to represent the family.
You guys want to come? Retirement party? Sounds like a can't miss.
Unfortunately, I'll miss it.
Okay.
You're all done.
Hank, it might be a good thing for us to go.
In what way would it be good for us to go to a retirement party? Come on, Hank.
Old people? High incomes? Higher blood pressure? It's your prime demo.
Hank, the kid's right.
Who's the retiree? Well, I'm ready to leave.
We just got here.
You know what? I'm actually with Hank on this one.
The average age here is dead.
Everyone, please welcome Tess Premoli, as she premieres for us what will be her final piece with the San Francisco Ballet next Sunday.
Ballerinas.
Wait a minute.
That's the retiree? That was beautiful.
She certainly is.
Hottest card-carrying member of the AARP I've ever seen.
Plus, as a retired person, it won't cost as much to take her to the movies.
Forget it.
I called dibs.
Okay? Any hot ballerina is all mine.
That's one of my ground rules.
Okay.
Anyway, yours is over there.
Who is that guy Jill's talking to? Not you.
I would love to help you out, but I'm sorry.
You already Wait.
Don't walk away.
I'm not finished with this.
Listen, I am not going to have this discussion here.
This conversation is not over.
Hi.
How's your neighbor? Sheila? She's okay.
Better.
Are you okay? Mmm.
I'm fine.
Maybe you should slow down there.
Now that would defeat the purpose.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
I'm very happy to hear it.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you.
Outstanding work.
Having sat through The Nutcracker every Christmas since I was, like, three, I can say that with full confidence.
Having played my share of Sugar Plum Fairies, I can say thank you.
Evan R.
Lawson, CFO of HankMed.
And so much more.
Oh, there she is.
So Yeah.
Excuse me.
Hi.
Feel this.
Silk.
How much do you think this benefit costs? I don't know.
A lot? Twice that.
At least.
Do you know how much these things run? I don't.
I do.
See, we've thrown parties at the hospital.
We get polyester.
He might as well just burn the money.
What happened with that man? What man? The one who apparently dared you to chug three glasses of wine before he got back, or there'd be trouble.
Or is that none of my business? Bingo.
Got it.
Hey.
Hey.
Hi, guys.
Tucker, Libby, Jill.
Hi, Jill.
Jill, Tucker, Libby.
Hi, Jill.
We're going to go grab a bite to eat.
It's wall-to-wall food here.
Yes.
But no one can tell me if the tuna is farmed or wild.
Farmed has, on average, five times less omega threes and is, like, three times higher in mercury.
And they can't say whether the grapes were grown with or without pesticides.
We're talking residues such as azinphos, carbofuran, metalaxyl.
But, as a doctor, I'm sure that's what you were already thinking.
Thank you.
Oh.
Yeah.
Totally.
But your date seems to be having a good time.
Oh, no.
This is not a date.
Oh, it's not a date.
Aw.
What do you kids call it these days? I just Listen.
Why don't we go back to my place? You know, Dad's not home, and Libby stocked the fridge with food so organic you can taste the dirt.
Awesome.
Would you like the rib eye or the tenderloin? Yes.
Hi.
Hi.
You're the doctor, right? I'm actually not the doctor, medically speaking, but I run HankMed, which is a It's a concierge doctor service.
So, great Great party, huh? I just feel like this place is so cool.
The wine and the food is so, so cool.
Yeah, I hate it.
I hate it, too.
Do you want to bail? I can't duck out on my own party.
Can I buy you dinner? It's free, and I have some? Well, you haven't even touched yours.
Are you not hungry? I'm starving.
Somebody made this for me.
I don't want to sound spoiled, but I can't tell you how sick I am of grilled fish and fresh fruit.
Now that I'm being put out to pasture, I'm craving all that stuff I've had to avoid my whole life.
I know this charming little spot that specializes in just that cuisine.
Wow.
Yeah.
I don't play around when it comes to junk.
I don't even know where to begin.
Well, uh Convention says the cheese crunches are the amuses.
They're light.
They're cheesy.
They leave your fingers orange.
The nachos are the hors d'oeuvres.
They also leave your fingers orange.
And then, you've earned the dog.
The dog.
Yes.
The dog.
The dog must be earned.
I can't remember the last time I had a What if I want to start with the dog? I love a rebel.
Last time I checked, the drinking age in New York was 21.
Well, while technically the Hamptons are in New York, they actually occupy a time-space continuum of their own.
Oh, is that right? Mmm-hmm.
And this is a Chateau d'Avignon from 1990.
The greater crime would be to not drink it.
Well, think how much more aged it will be when you're of age.
In five years.
So, this wine is older than you? Jill.
Age is just a number.
Right.
Yeah, everything's just a number.
That's how you people think.
You people? Mmm.
Like Mr.
Kliner.
He was our biggest donor.
He had plenty of money to throw a retirement party for a ballerina, but not enough to honor his pledge to the free clinic.
And for the record, free clinics, they're not free.
Big misnomer.
They're expensive.
Only you can't call them that or nobody would come.
Hey, you know what? Maybe Why don't we walk it off a little? You want to go for a walk? Yes.
Let's go.
Okay.
Let's go for a walk.
Okay.
Okay.
Come with me, Jill.
I mean, just take the items in this house.
That model boat.
Or that ancient map.
Or these guitars, signed by Lennon.
John, not Vladimir.
If it were Vladimir, that would really be worth something.
Each one of these gems could float a year of my clinic.
But I guess paying God-knows-what for a pair of torn jeans is Oh.
Oh, my God.
Are these really Springsteen's? That, or they're running low on closet space.
You're cute.
Okay, then.
And voilà.
Mustard, relish, and onions, just as God intended it.
No ketchup? Ketchup is for dilettantes and three-year-olds.
Well, all right, then.
Okay.
I am so going to enjoy this.
And not just for the reason you think.
Mmm.
Yeah? Mmm-hmm.
Guess it was worth the wait.
Mmm.
Mmm.
What happened to me? I'm not sure.
Did you eat today? No.
I was too nervous.
I did have a glass of wine.
Or two.
Do you remember having any chest pains? Shortness of breath? Headache? No.
Nothing that Not that I can remember.
Okay.
Tess, this is important.
Are you on any meds? Do you take recreational drugs of any kind? No.
No, nothing like that.
Am I going to be okay? I have my last show next week.
For some reason, your blood pressure went down to a level that didn't allow blood to be pumped to your brain.
It may have been a reaction to your not eating, and then drinking alcohol while being tired, and so you fainted.
You should just You should go home, eat, and get some rest.
And call me if there are any problems.
Okay.
I will do that.
Thank you.
Okay.
Sure.
I'll be right back, okay? Okay.
Thank you for handling that.
You have no idea how embarrassing this is.
Or maybe you do.
Long story.
She's fine.
Wow.
Two women passed out.
Mom would be so proud.
Shut up.
Are you okay to drive? Yeah.
Unless they've started spiking the Arctic Freezees, I'm fine.
Good.
Hey, Jill.
We're here.
Hi.
How long have I been out? A couple of minutes.
Give or take an hour.
Let me help you.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Did you want The letters for my clinic.
They're pointless now.
Throw them away.
Please.
They're garbage anyway.
Oh, and Thank you for driving me home.
I'm sure this is not how you expected your night to go.
Hey.
You surprise people.
Hmm.
Dr.
Lawson? Hey.
Hi.
Is everything okay? I'm sorry to bother you.
I was just wondering if we could talk.
In private? Of course.
Yeah.
Let's take a walk.
I wasn't entirely honest last night.
I've been dancing since I was three.
Professionally, since I was five.
And don't get me wrong, I love it.
I loved it.
But we take a pounding.
And sometimes, dancers, for the pain, the anxiety of performance, of weight, of trying to stay the best, we take things.
Pain medication? Diet pills? Anti-anxiety.
Are you on all three? Sometimes.
Yeah.
Do you think that's what caused me to faint? It's possible.
I can't know without doing some blood work.
I'd love to have Divya, my associate, do a full work-up.
I have to be able to dance next week.
Dancing has been my whole life, and it's going to be over soon.
Hey, guys! That's so weird.
I was just going for a run.
And I just run into people.
What's going on? We were just going for a walk.
Yeah, I was just showing Tess the dunes.
Oh, dynamite dunes.
Okay.
Cool.
Yeah.
I should get going.
I don't want to be late.
So, it was It was really nice seeing you guys.
Yeah, you, too, Tess.
Great seeing you.
Did I or did I not call dibs? Relax.
I wasn't making a move.
"Making a move"? You actually just said that? I've been out of the game.
For how long? Since the sinking of the Lusitania? Wow.
So, what were you doing, then? Talking.
That's all I can say.
If you're pulling doctor-patient confidentiality, I'm exempt.
No.
Actually, you're not.
Need I remind you, I'm the CFO of HankMed.
Okay? CFO.
Who is also making a move on my patient.
Did she ask about me? We weren't talking about you.
Okay.
That wasn't my question.
I like her.
And it's not just because she's a ballerina, either.
Although I must say that doesn't hurt.
Look.
If you like her, then ask her out.
Did she tell you to tell me that? Yes, by my locker before homeroom.
We did not talk about you.
Okay.
Stop saying that.
Excuse me.
Do you know where I can find James Harper? Go Fish Yourself.
Excuse me? That's the name of his boat.
Third boat down the pier.
Okay.
You could have just Thank you.
Excuse me.
Are you James Harper? Name's Jim.
What do you want? Hi.
My name's Hank Lawson.
You selling something? Nope.
I'm a doctor.
Have a nice day.
Quick guess.
Unless the yellow in your eyes and your complexion is from carrots, and that paunch in your mid-section is from too many Budweisers, my hunch is you've got the symptoms of Hep C.
You need to take care of yourself.
I can help you.
Of course you can.
Let me guess.
Fill out some forms.
Sit and wait.
And wait, and wait.
I've been through the system.
Done the patient history.
Gotten the piss-poor care, and been charged through the nose.
I'll pass.
I understand.
You don't understand the first thing about it, Doctor.
Look.
Hey.
Can I at least give you my card? No.
I know you're the Chief of Neurosurgery, but starting a stereotaxic oncological surgery program will cost the hospital millions in start-up that we just don't have.
Could you yell a little quieter, please? Okay.
Yeah.
I'm coming down there to haggle this out face to face.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey.
Whatever I said last night, whatever I did, blanket apology.
I don't drink a lot.
In fact, the last time I got that drunk, I'd just gotten my degree in Health Administration.
And yes, I'm aware of the irony.
No.
Hey.
Listen.
You were a lady.
Then I must have been really hammered.
Please, sit.
I'm not the woman who makes a fool of herself at a party.
I'm the woman who makes fun of that woman.
So, you judge.
Nice.
Yes.
But only in the most non-judgmental way.
Right.
It was a tough night.
I have been working on that clinic for three years.
And when the economy tanked, a lot of the donors pulled out.
Kliner was my biggest, best, and last hope.
I'm sorry.
Well, this should help.
The hangover, at least.
I have no money to give you, but I have some aspirin.
I hope you didn't buy these.
You know, I do work in a hospital.
No, I stole them from your hospital.
Mmm.
Okay.
I have to go and haggle with the Chief of Radiology.
So, I didn't just come bearing aspirin.
I could use your help.
Name it.
Jim Harper.
Jim Harper? What about him? I'd like to see his medical file.
You read one of my letters.
I can't believe you did that.
I glanced.
Okay, I read.
I read.
Look, I think he has Hep C.
I can't give you a patient's information without their consent.
Well, Jim didn't seem like the giving type.
You went to see him? I can't believe you.
Do you have any idea how wrong that is? How unethical? Not to mention you completely violated my trust by even looking at that letter.
I'm sorry, Jill.
But sometimes you've got to work outside the system, right? Bend the rules? Break the law? The system is broken.
You know that as well as I do.
It's why you're starting your clinic.
Was.
The man needs help.
Interferon probably.
I want to help him.
I can help him.
And if we are who we treat, and we treat no one, what does that make us? I'm sorry, Hank.
Breaking the rules is not part of my job description.
Well, maybe it should be.
Hey.
Hi.
Everything okay? Yeah.
Everything okay with you? Yeah, you texted me.
To come here.
You showed up at the wrong mansion? Hank, you've really got to work on your concierge doctoring.
I contacted you.
I'm Marshall Bryant.
You must be Dr.
Lawson.
Hank.
Nice to meet you.
Oh, look what Look what he bought me.
Wow.
Great plane.
Tucker, would you give us a minute? You're younger than I imagined.
Most concierge doctors around here are on their third wives and last legs.
Well, they've They've set the bar high.
Dr.
Lawson, I want to thank you for taking such good care of my son.
Hank, please.
Tucker's quite a young man.
He is that.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm the kid and he's the adult.
I know what you mean.
This is for you.
If it's not enough, you'll let me know.
No, I'm sure it's fine.
Thanks.
I'd love to offer you a drink, but my jet is waiting.
Right.
Listen, Mr.
Bryant While I have you I know you're a busy man.
Oh, boy.
Did Tucker's drug test come back positive? Did his No.
No.
This is not about Tucker's health.
Not his physical health.
What is it about, then? Well, I hope I'm not overstepping any boundaries, here.
Tucker seems to be missing something in his life.
See, I had a similar situation when I was his age.
My father Well, anyway Maybe you could spend a little more time with him.
He seems like he could use some more Dad time.
Huh.
Are you a psychiatrist? No.
Psychotherapist? No.
Right.
You're a concierge doctor.
Pretty simple concept.
Come when called.
Fix patient.
Cash check.
With all due respect, while that may be what you're used to, that's not how I do it.
However you do it, Hank, you don't do it for us anymore.
Let that check be your severance, hmm? Hi.
Sorry to be laying in wait at your house, but I have something for you.
Fine.
I'll see another property.
But it should have a fabulous room, and the person showing it should have leprosy.
Those are my conditions.
No.
Something better.
This was for a patient who no longer comes to the hospital.
It It's interferon.
We're overstocked.
Before this batch goes bad, I thought maybe you knew somebody who could use it.
All right.
Spielberg's pad is down that way.
And, uh, Martha Stewart has a modest little mansion over there.
And the Seinfelds' summer place is about five palaces on the left.
You can't see it, but it's over there.
You seem to be an expert on the Hamptons.
Did you come here growing up? No.
I moved out to the Hamptons a couple of weeks ago.
Really? Mmm-hmm.
Where are you from? Different habitat.
Brooklyn, via Jersey.
But then Hank had a little premature mid-life crisis, and You know.
I guess I did what any good brother would do.
I sacrificed for family.
Yeah, that hut you're living in seems harrowing.
It's disgusting.
You know.
But sometimes, you've just got to take one for the team.
I know.
Seriously, though, it's been nice.
Life kind of dead-ended for me in New York.
And I'm all about opportunity, and it's all opportunity out here.
Kind of like us right now.
Would you like to grab lunch? Oh It's just I'm I'm having fun.
I don't want to ruin it.
Wait.
What Food and I have a contentious relationship ever since I was a young dancer, trying to make it.
It kind of messed me up.
Hmm.
Then let me un-mess you.
I'm back.
I'll get my harpoon.
As inviting as that sounds, I won't stay long.
The doctor's mantra.
Look, you know, for what it's worth, I'm not a big fan of hospitals, myself.
In fact, I just got fired by one a few weeks ago.
Well, that's reassuring.
Not No.
Not for medical reasons.
Look.
Hospitals are bureaucracies.
Right? Bureaucracies screw people.
They overcharge you if you're insured, and they really do it if you're not.
Just because they can.
You've got zero leverage and no alternative, so you get screwed.
It It's like out here, with the gas docks, when they price gouge you after a hurricane.
The system sucks.
But you're sick.
And you're going to get sicker if you don't get treatment.
I'd like to help you.
That's what they all say.
Then, the bill comes.
There is no bill.
No, I'm going to be here for you.
Week in, week out.
No red tape.
No forms.
No harpoon.
Just me.
So, what's the catch? You're the fisherman.
You tell me.
Wow.
This is quite a spread.
What's on the menu? Okay, so, the best meal I've ever had in my entire life was in Machu Picchu.
You ever been to Machu Picchu? Um, no.
If my company doesn't perform there, I haven't been.
Okay.
Basically, it's like heaven on earth.
Like, you have to go one day.
Like, everybody should go.
Tonight, I have recreated that meal in painstaking detail.
So, if you would, Señorita Thank you.
Okay.
Just take a deep breath.
Relax.
Okay.
Close your eyes.
I'm ready.
I'm there.
Mmm.
This is really good.
It tastes really good.
That's good.
It's Yeah.
It's all about just becoming one with the food.
Ready for bite two? Mmm.
That's delicious.
Wow.
Big points.
I mean I've been on a lot of dates around the world, but you're the first guy to ever feed me.
Well, you're the first girl I've ever fed.
So Hey.
Am I Uh, big time.
Would you excuse me for one second? Yeah.
Hey.
Hey.
So, first of all, get out.
But before you do that, just know I totally fixed her.
Problem solved.
Which problem would we be talking about? Tess's eating problem.
The whole passing out problem? All problems solved.
Me.
Ask her.
Mind over matter.
What's happening? She's aspirating.
The food is stuck in her upper trachea.
Get the emergency medical kit.
Can I help, or do you want me to do something? Okay.
Get it out.
I'm trying.
Is she breathing, or Oh, my God.
Okay.
Were you eating before you fainted? Chorizo bouillabaisse.
It's a Peruvian specialty.
Chorizo? The other night, it was a hot dog.
Are you thinking anaphylactic reaction to nitrates? Lines up.
No, it's not.
How can you be so sure? Because it's happened before, and not just from nitrates.
Why didn't you tell me this? There are certain foods that I love.
That I crave.
That I I can't have.
But sometimes, I do.
Were you eating this? Yeah.
Just a bite.
Okay.
You're going on a heart monitor, and you're going to eat a piece of pepperoni pizza.
You really want me to eat that? You really want her to eat that? Yes, I really want her to eat that.
Step it up, Hank.
Okay.
Tess, I want you to take a big bite of the crust.
Whoa.
She's bradying down.
She's going into cardiogenic shock.
Shock her.
Hit her.
Feed her a Snickers.
Do something! Be patient.
Hold on.
Wait, wait, wait.
You okay? Yeah, I think so.
Stay down.
Stay down.
Let your body adjust.
What is it? What's wrong with her? Is she allergic to mediocre pizza or what? No.
It's not an allergy.
I think you have a condition that's called deglutition syncope.
You eat certain foods, you pass out.
It's an extremely rare condition that causes an atrioventricular block when you eat specific types of foods.
Your heart is reacting to certain carbohydrates.
Some have it with carbonated beverages.
Some with chocolate.
So, it wasn't the hot dog.
It was the bun.
Gold star, Evan.
So, there's something wrong with my heart? There is.
You need to see a cardiologist.
I can recommend one.
They'll probably want to put in a pacemaker.
You know, it's a good thing we found it.
If you had had an episode while you were driving? I mean, it could have been fatal.
Wait.
Hold up a second.
She needs a pacemaker? Yeah.
A cardiologist can put it in under light sedation.
Will I be able to dance my final performance? Yes.
As long as you avoid these carbs.
And after your surgery, you can enjoy a long and happy retirement, eating as much junk food as you want.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Feed me.
I beg you.
How do you feel about fish? I love fish.
That's good.
Because some dude named Jim just dropped off two dozen striped bass.
Said they were for you, and scared the bejesus out of me.
Me, too.
I will explain over dinner.
This is civilized.
Yeah.
Like gentlemen.
We should do this every night.
As long as you stay out of the kitchen, okay.
You cook, I'll clean.
I'll even pick up my clothes.
Or try.
Henry.
Done, and done.
Clink.
The two of us keeping a house in order? Mom would be so shocked.
Hi.
Oh, hey.
Come on in.
I just wanted to say thank you.
Oh, yeah.
No need.
It's It's what I do.
Well, I I wanted to say thank you to Evan, too.
Hi.
How's the old ticker? I was just heading out to mow Bye.
Bye.
So, I'm leaving tomorrow to see that cardiologist.
Tomorrow? Wow.
That's soon.
I know.
Which is why I wanted to say thank you for helping me have so much fun.
You've got a warped sense of fun, lady.
No, I mean it! I had a great time.
I mean, other than passing out a lot.
I did a lot of things with you I haven't done in years.
I usually get that after I've dated a girl for a long time.
I'm serious, Evan.
I really loved our time together.
I mean, maybe it didn't mean much to you, but it meant a lot to me.
It meant a lot to me, too.
I bought a ticket for Machu Picchu.
I want to hike it.
I'm flying to Cuzco after the surgery.
You're going to Machu Picchu? Yeah.
After what you said, how could I not? Okay, this is awkward.
I made that up.
I've never even been to Machu Picchu.
I read it in a magazine.
I thought it would make the meal sound better.
Like, I couldn't even find Machu Picchu on a map.
I don't even know what country it's in.
Like, maybe it is a country.
Is it, like, a mountain village? Or what is it? Well, yeah.
After you served garlic bread and lobster, I was wondering if this greatest meal ever was at a Sizzler in Machu Picchu.
But it doesn't matter.
I'm going to have an adventure, and I need an adventure.
Of course.
Okay.
Yeah.
But before I go, there's just this one thing that I have to do.
God, I hate Machu Picchu.
Quite a maneuver, Maverick.
Maverick? Who's that? Oh, I don't know.
A little movie called Top Top Gun.
I know, Hank.
I'm just joking.
I am aware of American culture pre-iPod.
Talk to me, Goose.
I didn't realize you were such a daredevil.
Well, as a hemophiliac, what choice do I have, you know? Even slicing an orange can be a deadly stunt.
Didn't Dad fire you? He did.
From being your doctor.
Not from being your friend.
You want to take it for a spin? No.
No, thank you.
Fear of flying.
Yeah, me, too.
Nice landing, Goose.
Maybe I should have rented this place.
Sheila was right about the view.
Yeah.
This one's pretty nice.
One of the perks of being a local is you know all the best views.
Right.
Were you born here? Local Hampton-ite.
Mmm.
Endangered, but not extinct.
Mmm-hmm.
The Citiots haven't killed us off, yet.
Thank God.
Right.
Citiots.
Mmm.
Wait, am I a Citiot? I'll grant you a temporary membership to our clan.
Temporary? What's up with temporary? Wow.
Thanks for seeing Jim.
Yeah.
And I'm sorry about the clinic.
I know how important it was to you.
When I was 12, I was surfing and this board tore into my arm.
Nearly separated it from my shoulder.
And the hospital bills were way more than my parents could handle, but Hamptons Heritage took care of it.
And me.
So I owe the place so much.
Hmm.
That's why you work at the hospital? Yeah, I wanted to help do that for others.
Be a part of something special.
But it's not the same place it was.
We have so much less money, less staff, less everything.
Hmm.
And that explains the clinic.
It's a setback.
That's all.
I don't quit.
You need to know that about me.
The clinic will happen.
I know it will.
And look.
In the future, if there are any Sheilas or Jims, you just give them my number.
I guess you can be both.
Both? Concierge doctor to the rich, and an on-call doctor to the rest of us.
The Robin Hood of medicine.
As long as no tights are involved.
Why not? You've got nice, strong legs.
Do I, now? Not that I've Not that I've noticed.
Do you remember anything you said while you were under the influence the other night? Not a word.
Why? No reason.
No reason.
But But for the record? You are cute.
Excuse me.
What are you doing in my yard? Just leaving! Yeah.
We were.
By the way, great view.
Yeah.
I know.
Great.
My view.
Enjoy.