Run the World (2021) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Previously on Run the World.
For your first assignment,
you won a trip to cover
Soulja Boy's Legends party tonight.
Anderson? What are you doing here?
I missed you, Ella.
No.
Well, I'm fucking
my thesis advisor and kind of sort of
raising his kid
in an undefined relationship,
which makes our communication
about me fake step parenting
his daughter
easy and effortless.
You're getting married.
You missed the window for entry.
Well, apparently, I missed
the window for everything
because I spent my 20s
fucking my college sweetheart
instead of fucking that guy.
That's Chris Cabrera.
He's the community peen.
Weddings are so overrated.
Inspiring prenuptial insights
from our only married friend.
Make you wanna coca
Your boom party ♪
Every y'all move back
When my mind don't play ♪
Every y'all push back
Like a real artist ♪
Ah, shit, I'm about to bust.
Not yet.
Why not yet?
Wait for it.
Oh, fuck!
Jesus, Renee!
Oh, my bad.
I was just trying
to hit a reverse cowgirl.
Ow! What was wrong with regular cowgirl?
Did you have a private call
with Al Roker this morning?
Huh?
You're looking real Hollywood
in these Harlem streets.
Oh, Matthew and I
had a late night last night,
so it's a sunglasses
and Advil kind of morning.
Aw, look at you two having fun.
It's Renee.
Niggers!
Honestly, I can't.
- Ooh!
- Oh, oh!
We running, we running ♪
We running, we running ♪
We run the world ♪
We run the world
We run the ♪
Yeah, the ER's
pretty slow for a Saturday,
so I should be able to get outta here
when my shift actually ends.
Hey, your Aunt Feyi is the one
who's hosting us tonight, right?
She's your mom's
third youngest sister, correct?
Yes, correct. Impressive.
Well, I've been studying
the seating chart.
Babe, I appreciate you
making the effort,
but that's not necessary.
No, your family is important to you,
so your family is important to me.
You are important to me.
Aw, so you really like me, huh?
I'm serious, Ola.
I love you very much.
I love you too.
Now, my aunts came a long way
to meet and judge you,
so please be on time.
I'll be there with bells on.
Well, after dinner, uh,
I wanna ring those bells.
Ooh.
Take it off, take it off.
Take it off.
- Whitney?
- Take it
I got that research
on the Beyond Burger IPO you wanted.
Ah, I gotta go. I'll see you in a few.
Bye, babe.
- Oh, was that my mans, the Big O?
- It was.
I've never been to the wedding
for a Nigerian prince before.
Oh, you're not invited.
- And he's not a prince.
- You sure?
It's such a princely sounding name.
- Olabisi Adeyemo.
- Just don't.
Hey, where's the honeymoon?
Wait, don't tell me.
The doctor and the banker go to
Bora Bora.
- The Maldives.
- Boom!
That is straight baller status.
You are, like, never
coming back to work, are you?
- Of course I am.
- Yeah, right.
The Big O is gonna hit you
with the old honeymoon pumps
in a bumps and have you
barefoot and pregnant
by the time you cross back
over the Atlantic.
I am not getting pregnant,
and I am absolutely
- coming back to work.
- Okay.
I mean, that's what
all the boss chicks say,
and then three months later,
they bounce.
Stop being such a sexist moron.
These days, women go back
to work much faster.
Just pump and freeze and leave
the baby with a nanny.
Great, you're all still here.
Uh, Brett Peters
from Eco Cheese just called.
He's in town, and he wants us
Meaning you
To take him to dinner tonight
at one of those vegan places
where they substitute
cauliflower for steak.
Uh, George, I have
a wedding appointment tonight
- that I cannot
- Oh, I'll do it. Brett loves me.
No, he loves Whitney,
so he gets Whitney.
You get to go and learn.
I'm sorry about the wedding stuff.
You got this?
I got it.
G'day, ladies. What can I get you?
We'll take three mimosas.
Three gin martinis, straight up.
Must be a hard morning.
Actually, getting divorced
is surprisingly easy.
- Cheers!
- Okay.
What did Jason do this time?
Leave black socks on the floor?
No. I kicked him in the head.
- Huh.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I'm trying
to picture that in my mind,
but the logistics of it are escaping me.
Well, I was fucking him on top,
and I tried to turn around
without dismounting,
and I kicked him in the face.
She was born without a filter.
- Was he hurt?
- He bruises if you pinch him.
He has yellow undertones.
You could've broken my nose.
I said I'm sorry.
Stop acting like a pussy. God.
Well, that's not very
Black feminist of you, is it?
Right.
The feminist part of me
is supposed to be okay
with supporting you financially
while you chase a pipe dream,
but calling you a pussy?
That's off-limits.
I thought you believed in the band.
I do believe in the band.
I don't believe in you quitting
your job to manage them.
When we blow up
I'm not gonna let you
take a selfie with us.
Mm-mm.
Where you going?
Renee, I'm-I'm trying here.
- We said we were gonna try.
- I just tried.
This
was me trying.
We don't have to do cowgirl.
We got lazy doggy.
Regular doggy.
There's all different kinds
of doggy we could do.
That is a fascinating way
to end a marriage.
When did you move to the States?
Who, me?
Well, I've been here
for five years already.
I love your accent.
What's your name?
Colin.
No. Sorry, Colin.
We're here for me today. No flirting.
- Why you hating?
- How am I hating?
You don't fuck white dudes,
so this flirtation
would ultimately go nowhere
and only annoy him and me.
- You've never fucked a white guy?
- No. You know this.
- Have you?
- Yeah.
Do you remember Crew Kid from Emory?
Oh, yeah. Sophomore year.
How was the sex?
It was the same, but fleshier.
- What?
- I don't know.
There's something about white guys.
Their skin is just it's fleshier.
Well, no one's sucking
fleshy white dicks today,
so can we please get back to
mourning the end of my marriage?
Yeah? Let's do that.
Uh-uh, tell that broad
there's no conference dial
in a playtime.
What's her problem?
She's getting divorced.
- Again.
- Mm-mm.
Nope.
Where the fuck are you?
Stuck at work.
- It's Saturday!
- I know.
We're prepping for this IPO,
and Ola and I have a tasting
I'm not trying to be mean,
but I don't give a fuck
about your wedding today.
Wow, there. Way harsh, Tai.
I'm sorry, but today is
"Renee's getting a divorce" day.
I'll care about your wedding tomorrow.
So wait, it's really ov
- Well, okay, then.
- Okay.
So this motherfucker said
that slavery is the reason
our marriage failed.
Oh, my God.
Not slavery.
So you kick me in the face
and just go take a shit?
You're doing it wrong.
The paper hangs over the top.
Jason, who the fuck cares?
And once again, you left me
four freakin' squares.
I care. I care!
Why do you always gotta be on
your independent woman bullshit?
Why can't you ever just do what I ask?
There's so not enough money
in this relationship for gender roles.
It's always about money with you.
Nope. Nope. Not letting you flip this.
Don't try to make me the villain.
I married a private equity manager,
not Ja Rule's former intern,
for a reason.
You've never supported
the things I've wanted.
You can't be serious.
Our entire marriage,
that is all I've ever done.
Sure, as long as it benefitted you.
- You should've kicked him again.
- Mm.
So where does slavery
come into all of this?
Okay, what's up with these glasses?
Um, well
I have pink eye.
Amari brought it home from school?
No, no.
Matthew pooted in my face.
What?
Well, I have been trying
to spice things up in the bedroom
since that whole Amari ballet debacle,
so I was doing this
perineum stimulation thing
with my tongue.
Okay, and?
And I encouraged him to sit on my face
so I could get a better angle,
and when he got up there, he pooted.
You don't have pink eye,
you have stink eye.
Come on, girl. Laugh.
The shit's funny. The shit's funny.
What's a perineum?
Uh, it's an imaginary strip
of real estate
between your balls and your asshole
that only existed in the pages of Cosmo
in the early aughts.
You're talking about the t'aint.
The what?
T'aint the balls, t'aint the pussy,
t'aint the ass.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Very funny, joke is on me.
I'm going to the bathroom.
I'm gonna go make room for more liquor.
- All right.
- Take your nasty ass
to the bathroom.
Get your mouth off of me.
Oh, Mr. Perineum,
can you get me another one of these?
I love that dress.
- Oh.
- Cushnie?
- You have fabulous taste.
- Well, thank you.
So Brett, we wanted to discuss
pricing for the Eco IPO
'cause based on the Beyond Meat numbers,
we think we can go higher.
Yes, from our analysis,
we can go up to $10 more a share
and still expect
a 100% increase when we open.
I'll do whatever
this gorgeous gal tells me.
We're cheese people, not greed people.
Listen, Brett, you gotta be mindful
of leaving money on the table.
I mean, it would be malpractice
if we let you sell this
Take a breath, sweetness.
I trust Miss Whitney with my life.
She'll make the right call.
So how's the wedding planning going?
Do you have a picture of your fiancé?
I've never seen the lucky bastard.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
He looks like a Benetton model.
You two are perfect.
Oh, well, I'm not perfect,
but he still loves me,
flaws and all.
Um, how do I get
an invite to this wedding?
He's the community peen.
He's literally fucked everybody we know.
So Miss Whitney, invitation?
Well, um, let's get this IPO
to market and we'll see.
Excuse me. One second.
Hey, Whitney.
Are you seriously standing me up again?
I'm sorry, I'm still working.
Oh, what the hell?
Whitney, my aunts are pissed.
Ola, it's not like I'm just
hanging with the homies.
I'm with a client.
I know you were nervous
about meeting them,
but this is getting embarrassing.
Are you coming?
Yes.
Okay, well, just call me
when you're on your way.
I gotta go cover for us.
My love, where to next?
I wanna do Nueva York
à la Whitney Greene.
Oh, Whitney can get us in anywhere.
I guess I can do one drink.
So is he talking Kunta slave?
12 Years a Slave? What degree of slave?
Girl, he took it way back.
All the slaves were there.
Okay, do-do you not understand
the plight of the Black man?
Slavery?
Mm!
What are you looking for?
Oh, I'm-I'm just looking
for where the fuck
slavery just came from.
You act like I cheated on you.
Oh
you cheated on both of us.
You cheated yourself out of a career,
you cheated me
out of financial stability,
and you cheated us out of the future
we've been planning
for the last five years.
And, you know,
I'm just not understanding.
If you wanted to manage a band
why are we paying off your MBA?
Oh, you really think these degrees
mean something, don't you?
Yes, Jason.
A Stanford and a Wharton MBA
do not a broke couple make.
Barack to my Michelle.
Do you really think you're
bringing it like Michelle?
- Nigga, what?!
- Renee, listen.
If you think I'm choosing to not make
as much money as I want to make,
you don't know me at all.
I made an investment in something
I believe in for us.
For you.
We
You made an investment?
Jason?
I invested some of our mutual fund.
Uh, well, how much of our mutual fund?
All of it.
Some of that was my money.
It's your money now?
'Cause it was our money yesterday.
Yes, it was "our" money
when "we" were investing it.
You-you're joking, right?
Jason.
Please tell me you're fucking joking.
Can't you see I'm trying
to own something here?
I'm trying to create a legacy.
Wow.
Well, you a big dog now, huh?
So he's on some Kanye shit.
No, he doesn't have Kanye talent
to be on some Kanye shit.
That is one of the challenges
of Black love.
We're all bringing our own trauma
- into the equation.
- Uh, yeah.
I am fully traumatized.
That motherfucker sold my Apple stock.
You know, Jason just might be
my last Black man.
It might be time for me to take a cue
from Eve, Tina, and Serena.
Y'know, get me an Alexis O-hani-han.
I don't think
that's how you say his name.
Listen, marrying
the non-Black billionaire
always sounds intriguing,
but my dad is a dark-skinned Black man
who has worshipped my mom
for the last 40 years.
I can't not want that.
If you are waiting for your daddy,
you're gonna be waiting a long time.
Okay, shut up! I'm talking!
Apparently, he's been
floating the entire band,
paying for studio time,
equipment, social media promo,
all of it.
Wow. Just wow.
When I got nothing better ♪
To do, I think of you ♪
And I don't waste my time ♪
Wishing you would be mine ♪
If I were a woman, I'd want those legs.
She's just so free.
- Oh!
- Yes!
- Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi!
- Whoo!
Mm!
Ah. Okay.
Drunk time, truth time.
I came into town to get away
from Jack and the twins.
Don't get me wrong,
they're the light of my life,
the center of my universe,
but jeez, money Christmas.
I just needed a minute to do me.
And by that I mean getting wasted
- and twirling around in circles.
- Whoo!
Oh, look at me, talking too much.
Enjoy your right now.
I loved planning my wedding.
Aww.
Actually, Brett, tonight,
I was supposed to be with my fiancé.
Hey, where's Radha?
Ooh, start the echo ♪
Echo, echo ♪
Speak to the silence ♪
Echo, echo ♪
Hands with the new dawn ♪
Echo, echo ♪
Home, are we heading? ♪
Echo, echo ♪
It's beautiful.
You're the husband, right?
Yeah.
Radha?
Whitney!
I was looking for you.
In the mirror?
Do you see stars?
Not like stars but, like
stars.
Did you take something?
No! I don't do drugs.
Although a really nice girl
gave me an Altoid
that tasted like a pocket.
Okay.
Radha, that was molly.
I'm on drugs?
I'm on drugs.
Okay, so let's get you home now.
You're so pretty.
I wanna be like you when I grow up.
Like, I know I'm a grown up,
but not like a real grown up.
I don't even have a Chanel bag yet.
Okay. Let's go.
What do you wanna do ♪
When you're speed dial hollering ♪
079 4:00 a.m. rude boy ting ♪
I can keep you up,
put you down if I want to ♪
Brett!
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Brett! Brett.
Hey, I'm so sorry,
but I gotta go get this baby to bed.
I love it!
Little Miss Priss is fucked up!
Viva la freedom!
Don't worry, Whit. I got Brett.
Okay, all right, this way.
This way
Hold on. Don't-don't touch people.
Don't touch
Just don't touch strangers.
Oh, sorry.
Bitch shoulda got a prenup.
Let's not get carried away, girlfriend.
Pretty sure you don't
make enough money for a prenup.
Bitch, shut up before I
stab you with a butter knife.
I'm just being honest.
Oh!
That's it.
I can't go for that, whoa-oh ♪
No can do, ah-ah! ♪
Can't go for that ♪
And there she goes.
I can't go for that ♪
Shit, I can't go for that ♪
No
- my marriage is over.
- Okay.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, shit!
- Okay, come here. Come on.
- No!
Breathe, baby, breathe.
Oh, I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
I haven't been able to breathe
in my marriage for months.
And every time I try to swim
to the surface for air,
here he comes
with another wave of bullshit.
You do not need to feel guilty
about wanting more.
You know what?
I promise you I'm not just being petty,
and it's not just about the money
or the condo we bought
that we couldn't really afford.
I work really hard for this life,
and this is just not
what I signed up for.
You know, like, I know I'm a lot.
- No.
- Mm-mm.
I am, but this is just
unacceptable.
You ladies need anything?
No. No.
Read the room, man.
She's done for now.
Uh, do you think you could
take her home,
because I
Oh, I see.
You need to go get yourself Colin-ized?
We'll see.
I'm nearing
my drink-to-dick limit ratio,
and I really don't wanna call Anderson.
I could use the dick-straction.
Fine.
But only because
I'd rather you fuck anybody
other than Anderson.
- I love you the most.
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, no, no.
- Come here.
Up here, babe. Come, come, come.
You don't love me, and I know now ♪
- I do.
- Yeah.
- It's all right.
- It's gonna be okay.
Come on.
No no no ♪
You don't love me ♪
And I know now ♪
You're not leaving with your friends?
Should I?
Why don't you wait
till I get off my shift,
and I'll take you dancing.
I like trouble ♪
'Cause some things
Ain't the way they seem ♪
I like upfront ♪
But quiet like I do not understand ♪
Fly like I'm one ♪
Vibe, I'm one ♪
Feelin' the sun
Under our skin ♪
Oh, you feel amazing.
Ew. Is that hair gel?
You all right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Fine.
- Yeah.
Can you get behind me?
Oh, yes.
- Mm.
- Yes.
Take this cock.
Did he just say "cock"?
Yeah, that's it.
Take this cock.
Dick! It's "dick."
Say "dick."
Oh, okay.
Wha-what?
I gotta go.
Uh, I-I just, um
Thank you.
Who says "cock"?
You did not leave mid-stroke.
I had to.
"Cock" is such a dirty word.
Really?
They say it in porn all the time.
Black men say "dick."
You must be watching white people porn.
Well, doesn't everybody?
- I do.
- Me too.
Really? Why?
Because. Slavery.
Exactly.
And when I watch porn with Black women,
I have all these questions
about pay disparity
in the industry
and whether or not these women
are socioeconomically empowered
to choose the sex scenes
that they're having on screen.
Ugh, that part.
And Black porn
always looks so low-budget.
They're always filming in, like,
MC Hammer's abandoned mansion
from the '90s
with mirror closet doors
and carpet on the stairs.
Personally, I just can't stand the sight
of niggas fucking with socks on.
Oh, my God.
Oh, so porn.
It's so porn. Ugh.
Oh.
It was just something about seeing him
- behind me in the mirror.
- Mm.
The imagery was just
so incredibly slave-y.
I swear I could hear Harriet Tubman
calling out to me.
What'd she say?
She said bissssshhhhh
No, no, no, it was more of a,
"Ella. Ella.
You gots to git now.
Git up and go find your freedom."
You guys, I'm not sure
I should be getting married.