Russian Doll (2019) s01e02 Episode Script

1 Oatmeal.
What the fuck is in this thing? Fuck.
Hey, Nemo.
It's the Cockroach.
"At 87, Dolores Huerta is a living civil rights icon.
She started the farm workers' movement with Cesar Chavez while raising 11 children on her own.
" I love it.
Is this some sort of a Wikipedia-sponsored voicemail greeting? No, I'm reading an actual article in a physical newpaper.
Oh.
Huh, wild.
Can you believe this Huerta woman? Eleven children.
I don't even have one children.
Divorced twice.
I've been divorced zero times.
Max, if it's any consolation, I promise that you will get divorced someday.
Oh, thank you so much.
Is this headed somewhere? Reflecting on my life and my choices.
I'm sorry about last night.
- I was out of line.
- Ah, no, no.
Cooking brings me great joy, but it alters my personality.
I forgive you, Maxine.
- And you are an amazing host.
- Aww! What I really need to know is - Yeah? - Where'd you get that Israeli joint from? - Wardog.
- He's selling now? I thought that he just bought that bar on Seventh and B.
Well, he's not actually selling which is why he's reluctant to say that, you know, that he is.
- He's actually a very private person.
- Is he still at the 917 number? Yeah.
Are you gonna tell me what's going on? - I would - Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
- but I think explaining it - Mm-hmm.
might give us both an aneurysm.
Oh.
You know, your friends can't help you if you don't let them, as I have said before.
I know.
I got to go, Max.
I'll talk to you later.
Bye.
Ah.
Oh, there you are.
Twenty-three, fourteen.
And, um 21 No, uh, no! Uh, 22.
- And you want to know why 22? - Why? 'Cause 22 years ago my grandmother died.
It was not sudden.
Hey, Kamile, how are you? I've been better, Nadia.
You? Eh, long live Allah! - Nice shirt.
- Thanks.
Um, it was Cholera is a debilitating disease and is a terrible way to go.
Mostly, uh, non-fatal.
Hey, Ferran, how's your friend who was in here last night who seemed pretty broken up? - Who? - I don't know.
I didn't get a good look.
He was drunk.
He seemed distraught.
- Excuse me.
- Oh, you're excused.
I don't know what you're talking about.
It was pretty quiet here last night.
No, a guy comes in.
He's your buddy.
Uh, he knocked some stuff around.
You do see somebody else standing here.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Wardog.
Uh, hey, hey, it's Nadia Vulvokov calling you.
So listen, man.
I know that Mondays are like your Saturdays, but, uh, I really need you to call me back.
It's important.
All right? Thanks.
In the new year I'm gonna love you In the new year Oh, yeah For the new year I'm gonna stay away from temptation As long as temptation Stays away from me She tries to call my mom to find out where I was.
But what she doesn't know is my mom loves me.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, wow.
Well, let's start review.
Derek, amazing job.
Chad, you killed it.
Nadia we found a bug in your code.
- So - May I? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, take your time.
Shh.
- Bob left a mistake in here.
- Really? Yeah, that's why it's not running correctly.
Hold on, I'll fix it.
Look, you don't have to do this right now, Nadia.
It could be anytime during the day, all right? I mean, why not now? You know, life's short, carpe diem, et cetera, right? - Phil? - Yes? Okay.
That should do it.
Here.
Great.
Cool.
Thank you, Nadia.
So next is Chad.
Chad, what you got for us today? That's my drug dealer.
I gotta take this.
I'll be back.
- Nadia.
- Hey.
- It's been too long.
- Hey, man.
- How are you? - Well, uh Yeah, I've been better.
It smells like George Plimpton after a week-long bender in here.
A professional hazard, I'm afraid.
Isn't this place great? It's even got a secret back room with a password.
- That's great.
Listen, Wardog.
- Okay, you twisted my arm.
The password's Jodorowsky's Dune.
Nerd.
So, listen, uh, these, uh, joints you sold Maxine - The Israeli joints? - Yeah.
Rolled them myself.
Did you enjoy? Is there anything else in them? I mean, something that could produce a psychedelic effect? - Just cocaine.
- From your regular supplier? Actually, no, a newer guy.
- Who? - What's this about, Nadia? All right.
Who loves drugs more than me? - You? Nobody.
- Who loves orgies more than you? - This guy.
- You.
Uh And yet, here I am.
I've tried almost every drug ever, and I can't think of anything that would cause the kind of meltdown I'm currently having.
But if it's not the drugs, uh, it's me, so - Yeah.
- Yeah? Is this how you answer the phone now? I'm a little distracted.
What's up? - You texted me.
- Right.
Uh Did anything weird happen to you last night? Yeah, I went to a birthday party and the guest of honor wasn't there.
Uh So look, I think Maxine slipped me some weird shit last night, and I don't know how to convey to you, to her, to anyone who really cares about me that I'm experiencing something truly terrifying, that I am fucking scared, that I'm questioning my own sanity, uh and that I may be dead.
Hello? Are you still there? Yeah.
Just trying to figure out how I fit into all of this.
Uh, I don't know.
Maybe help me.
You know what? I could skip this meeting and come down and see you, but history has taught me that whenever I swoop down with a rescue plan, you're out quicker than you left that party.
So if I come down there, are you actually going to be there? All right.
You know what? Do me a favor, John.
All right? Just start fucking other people, okay? It's been six months.
Hey, I fuck a lot of people! Oh, yeah? I'll believe it when I see it.
Ah! Fuck.
Shit.
Gotta get up, gotta get out Gotta get home Before the morning comes What if I'm late? Got a big date Gotta get home before the sun comes up Up and away, got a big day Sorry, can't stay I gotta run, run, yeah Sweet birthday baby, having fun? Pick up the phone Nad? Nemo? Nadia? Wordsmith Let's go Who need a hater To make it on all the violators Imitators call me An innovative instigator I'm gonna break down hot rhymes Like I'm the undertaker Gettin' what I love Jodorowsky's Dune.
Nadia, whoa.
Long time no see.
Happy birthday.
Uh what is in this? Israeli joints? Talk to Daniel.
He helped me put those together as a gift.
Okay.
Where is this cocaine from? - It's not coke.
- It's not? Okay, full disclosure.
I've been working on this new thing to help people cope with depression.
- But it's just standard Special K.
- Ketamine? It's really taking off and helping people.
Cancer patients especially are responding well to it - as a breakthrough depression medication.
- Wow.
That That's great.
You know, I am happy for those cancer people, but this wasn't a fucking cancer party.
And now I keep dying and reliving the same night.
- Does it hurt? - You seem fine.
Yes.
I'm not fine, okay? Uh So check this out about my finger.
Right? I left a mark.
Then I died.
I came back.
It's not there.
Is there a history of mental illness in your family? - That's not it.
- I only ask because No, no, no, it's not me.
All right, understand, all right, it cannot be me.
So, ipso facto, it has to be your shitty fucking ketamine.
Understand? Thank you.
I am sorry for yelling.
I'm having a very hard, never-ending night.
- All right.
- We gotta come back for you.
- Why? - Oh, no, let's go this way.
That's the guy I was talking about.
Ferran? Ferran, that's your friend! No! Fuck.
Again? Those things are a menace! Gotta get up, gotta get out Gotta get home before the morning comes - Sweet birthday baby! - Do not offer me that.
Nads, what the fuck? There is crazy-person cancer ketamine in there.
Got a big day, sorry, can't stay What are you talking about? Wardog and Dr.
Daniel told me.
How'd you know that Wardog's my guy now? Who's Dr.
Daniel? You haven't even tried this.
I'm out of here.
This is a real "fuck this," okay? We could dance until a quarter to ten We never thought it would end then Ah! Fuck! Fuck! - Sweet birthday baby.
- Why are you doing this to me? Happy birthday to you Happy birth Watch it.
Ah! Fuck! Got a big day Gotta get home before the sun comes up Fuck! - Sweet birthday baby.
- This some kind of sick fucking fantasy? Should I get bangs? This is like The Game.
I'm Michael Douglas! This is going well.
Ah! Fuck! She knew a sailor who had been to war - Sweet birthday baby.
- Look, I got bigger fish to fry, okay? I got to figure out how to get down the stairs.
So you don't want chicken? Stay the fuck away from me! I'm coming down the stairs! For a couple of days And then he'd sail Across the bubbly waves Ha-ha! Ha, ha! Hey! Whoa! Gotta get up, gotta get out Gotta get home before the morning comes - Sweet birthday baby.
- Why? Why would you give me a joint that you don't know what's in it? It's laced with cocaine.
It is not cocaine, Maxine.
It is ketamine, and I've never done ketamine before.
And it turns out that it fucks me up.
First of all, as far as I know, it's cocaine, but I didn't roll these myself, so if you wanna say they're ketamine, then I'll go with it.
- Ah-ha! - But secondly, we have done ketamine.
Most recently at Lewis' christening.
And you were fine.
I forgot.
- Fuck.
- Okay.
Nadia, please relax.
I did all of this for you, including this surprise joint, - because I love - Because you think I'm a cockroach.
- What? - I'm not a cockroach.
You're the cockroach.
Why are you calling me a cockroach right now? Because you called me a cockroach.
When? I would never call you a cockroach.
Maxine I need you to help me.
You're not helping me.
You're not helping me at all.
You're sabotaging me.
Will you stop acting crazy? Oh, my God! I am not crazy! Okay? I am not crazy! You know I hate it when people call me crazy.
Down by the sea She knew a sailor who had been to war Look, I get it, all right? I realize that sounded a little fucking crazy.
All right? I'm just defending myself here.
Okay? This is on her.
Or maybe you're just crazy.
For a couple of days And then he'd sail Across the bubbly waves And those were happier days But now What are you doing? Gotta get out Gotta get home before the morning comes Hey.
Got a big day Up and away, got a big day Sorry, can't stay - I gotta run, run - You can't leave.
This is your party.
Gotta let the people know I'm gonna be late Fucking Monday.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Lizzy? Lizzy? Lizzy? Wake up.
Are you up? Hey.
- Thank you.
- Oh, shit.
Looks I got mixed up in something very nice.
Mmm-hmm.
Where's Maxine? I don't know.
It's Monday, so Uh, gyrotonics.
Yeah Will you help me out with something? Okay, dude, all clear.
So what was wrong with the stairs? Uh, it's a long story involving multiple deaths.
Yeah, this is much safer.
Look, man I'm not crazy.
I'm not judging.
I love crazy.
Today I'm helping an artist make blood jelly to suspend over a 13th century mock debtors' prison.
The key is knowing who to ask for help.
In her case, me.
In your case, also me.
Thanks, buddy.
You gonna head back up to the fuck pile? Mmm I gotta brush my teeth.
Fuck that.
- Bye, Lizzy.
- Bye.
- I love you.
- Love you.
Are you back at that Touchstone memory? Yes, I'm there, outside the school.
Okay.
You see the man's shadow.
How does that make you feel? Frozen.
Powerless.
Is that belief true now? No.
No, I know how to ask for things for myself now, like like in my marriage.
And what would you ask for? I need my wife to talk to me.
Maybe you talk when you should just be touched.
Yeah.
Can you ask her to hold you? Yeah.
Ruthie? Well, hey.
Mmm.
So you want some tea? - No.
- Mmm.
I don't want any of this fancy water.
I want to talk to you.
Okay.
What's up, muffin? I think it's gonna get pretty heavy.
Uh Can we go sit downstairs in your office like I'm an actual patient? I don't think that would suit you.
You've always liked the kitchen.
Why? Why do I like the kitchen? Well sustenance, safety, nourishment, all the things you were missing when you were little.
Well Uh, I think I might be losing it, like I'm going crazy.
No, no, no, no, no, we do not use that word in this house.
Never did, never will.
What was her diagnosis? Like, what the fuck was wrong with her? Do not confuse your mother with her damage.
Last night I died.
What do you mean? - Last night was my birthday.
- Correct.
I went to Maxine's.
Uh We got into a fight, so I tried to leave.
I fell down the stairs and broke my neck.
And I died.
- Okay.
- Okay.
So then, uh, I'm back at the party.
I try to leave, you know? Uh, fall down the stairs, break my neck again.
All right, so Um I died.
I died.
I died.
I died.
That's four times.
Um Also Also, my cat just literally disappeared.
You were such a difficult teenager.
We've had some scary times, have we not? Mm-hmm.
And I always said to you, if things got really scary, you would say to me Record player, Ruth.
Record player.
Are you sure? Should I call my guy at Bellevue? - Is it the nicest psych ward? - It's definitely the closest one.
Darling, I'd get in with you, but my damn knees.
So I'm gonna grab a cab and meet you there.
You will not be alone, okay? Okay.
I love you.
Can you please remove any jewelry and shoelaces? I don't fuck with shoelaces.
Okay, can we have that necklace then? Uh You know, it's uh It's my mom's.
So I'd rather not.
- Full name? - Nadia Vulvokov.
V-U-L-V-O-K-O-V.
It's like Volvo, but with more letters and dyslexic.
Have you hurt yourself in the last 24 hours? Not intentionally, no.
Do you feel you were going to hurt yourself? No.
Uh, absolutely not.
- What day is it today? - Monday.
If you found a letter with a stamp on it, what would you do with it? Is the letter addressed to me? - Who is the president? - Hey, what's going on back there? We got a redhead on board? Fire in the hole! Hey, man, you kiss your mommy with that mouth? Hey, my mother loves me very much.
Hey, do you need help with that necklace? No, I decided not to take it off.
Here's the thing.
If I have the wherewithal to assert that I don't want to comply with your request, then doesn't that mean that I'm lucid enough to maintain my own autonomy? She does seem fairly lucid.
She answered the questions really quickly, though.
Okay, um, I don't know exactly what is going on with me.
Uh, but I do know one thing for sure, and that is that a bunch of mama's boys don't get to decide if I'm crazy.
So, thank you.
I'm out of here.
No, miss, if you don't sit down, we'll have to restrain you.
Miss Vulvokov, I'm administering a non-narcotic sedative.
Let me out of here! Let me out! - Relax.
Ryan? - I'm trying.
- I'm trying.
- Let me out of here! What is going on back there? Nobody locks us up.
Gotta get up, gotta get out Let's fuck this party on the mouth.
Okay There you are.
I lost track of you.
Oh! You're having fun.
Are you kidding me? This is the greatest party ever.
I mean, we can do whatever we want, whoever we want.
Thank God I started cooking on Thursday.
Thursday.
What a concept.
What do you mean? Oh, man, it's never gonna be Thursday again.
It's just always gonna be this party.
And we're just gonna keep coming back.
And my little baby Johnny's back.