She-Wolf of London (1990) s01e02 Episode Script

RANDl: Our ad's been in the paper for two weeks.
And I always thought the first response would come from a complete stranger, or some lunatic.
Not from lan's distant aunt in some farm town.
(GRUNTING) (STRAINING) (GRUNTS) Jesus, Mary and Joseph! (EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST) Old Beelzebub.
How long have you been sleeping in my backyard? (CHATTERING) (LAUGHING) GERTIE: Must have been a baddie, lovey.
Either that or he loved his ropes.
Had me a few of them in my day.
(CLEARS THROAT) I smell a criminal.
He was obviously denied a Christian burial.
He's an ugly sausage.
I say throw him back in the bog.
(GASPS) You will not.
I found him! He's precious rare! When the world finds out, I'll never sew another stitch! Well, he's a bog man, you know.
Your find, Gertie, will put us on the map! (CHUCKLES) To the heath! ALL: To the heath! Hear! Hear! ANGUS: The heath will run red with your blood! This creature from the slime is a harbinger of doom.
(PEOPLE MUTTERING) Hell has erupted in the heath! Over there, Angus.
He's on a pisser again.
Come on, men, let's put brother Angus into his corner.
Come on.
LEARY: I'll help you, Vicar.
I may be blind, but I can see doom! Beware the words of the prophet.
Blind prophet, my ass.
This week it's the bog man.
Last week he was railing on about Fergus Grey.
But he predicted the postal strike last year.
There's a postal strike every year.
Thanks.
Randi, you haven't touched your beef Wellington.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It looks wonderful, really.
But I'm trying not to eat meat these days.
I know a carnivore when I see one.
(PHONE RINGING) Every time we sit down for a bit of supper! I'll get it.
MRS.
MATHESON: You'll finish your supper.
Your granddad will get it.
It's supper time! GERTIE: Henry, it's Gertie! Elizabeth, please.
It's Gertie.
Mum's sister, from the country.
Hello, love.
Sis, you won't believe it! I've found a man.
Are you in one of those swinging singles bars? So, what's she raving about this time? She's found a man.
A dead man.
A dead man! Oh, dear.
In my bog! A bog man! In her bog! A bog man! MRS.
MATHESON: (CHUCKLING) That's nice for you.
Bog man? Is that anything like a swamp thing? It's a corpse.
The acidic peat in the bog preserves them.
They can be hundreds, thousands of years old.
Wow! Like a mummy? Very much like a mummy.
This is a rare find, if it's really a bog man.
She wants you to go down there and examine it for her.
It'll be cool.
Let's go.
What about our classified ad? Oh, we've only had a couple of responses, and none are half as exciting as this one.
Gertie's family.
Please, Son.
These finds are very rare, and they can be extraordinary, if this one's authentic.
Yes, he's very excited.
He'll be there.
Me, too! And his assistant, Miss Wallace.
Lovely.
They'll meet you at the Three Horseshoes.
(VIOLIN PLAYING) (PEOPLE WHOOPING) (MUSIC STOPS) (DOOR CREAKING) GOODBODY: It's Fergus Grey! Wipe your feet before you come in here! Mr.
Grey, come to have a drink? Don't touch him! Where'd you find this? In the bloody bog.
What's it to you? (PEOPLE MURMURING) (DOOR CLOSES) (THUDDING) (DOOR CREAKS) Who's there? Now, it's the bloody electricity board.
Who's messing about with my house? Come out and show yourself, you bastard! I'll give you a whipping you'll never forget in a hurry.
(SCREAMING) IAN: Don't be too disappointed if Gertie's discovery is a letdown.
It's probably just a scarecrow that fell into the tar.
Gertie's considered eccentric even by my family's standards.
I just love getting out of the city, you know.
It's so It's so quaint here.
Isolated.
Well, they do have electricity, you know.
Last I heard, they could even get the telly.
I mean, this place is probably steeped in myths and legends.
If there are any antidotes for these ancient curses, I mean, this is where we're gonna find them.
I love an optimist.
Do you? Are you Gertie's nephew? Yes, I'm Professor lan Matheson and this is Miss Wallace.
We've been expecting you.
I'm Abigail Willoughby.
How do you do? Poor Gertie told us you were coming.
Poor Gertie? (CRYING) What's happened to her? You Professor Matheson? Yes.
This is Miss Wallace.
I think, perhaps, the young lady might want to wait outside.
The young lady does not want to wait outside, thank you.
Oh.
I think the young lady does want to wait outside.
IAN: Who could have done such a thing? LEARY: Haven't the foggiest, chap.
Hasn't been a murder in the heath in over a hundred years.
Whoever did it certainly knew how to use a needle.
Only person around here could stitch as neatly as that was Gertie herself.
Bog man killed Gertie! Listen, here, God as me witness, last night when I was cleaning, he moved.
He did! His hands moved! (SCOFFS) Sounds as if Angus wasn't the only one to drown in a barrel yesterday.
(CHUCKLING) There's a wolf in our midst! (ALL LAUGHING) And evil feeding on our thoughts and our fears! LEARY: Speak your piece, Angus.
Oh, you may laugh, but dark forces are at work among us! We're all in danger.
Oh, here, old man, have a drink.
(PEOPLE GASP) Why, you ungrateful wretch! (PANTING) (LAUGHING) (PEOPLE CHATTERING) (EXCLAIMS) You have the mark of the wolf! Who? You know evil.
Me know evil? She no evil! (LAUGHING) That was so weird.
It was like he was looking right through me.
He's blind, Randi.
But, how could he know about my He can't.
He's mad.
He's one of these colorful country characters you've been dying to spend your holidays with.
Look, I know this sounds silly, but I do feel a presence here.
Just like that night on the moors.
What do you mean? I mean, there's more to Gertie's murder than meets the eye.
I'm sure the constable is following up all leads.
Including the supernatural ones? (CHURCH BELL TOLLING) So sad.
She was a good sister, she was.
GOODBODY: We ask ourselves who could commit such a monstrous act here in our beloved heath? A place of harmony and community.
(BREATHING DEEPLY) (FERGUS GASPING) IAN: Randi and I are going to stay on for a day or two.
Help clean up Gertie's affairs and things.
(CRYING) For all her shenanigans, she was a good egg.
She was.
ELSA: The reverend did it! MRS.
MATHESON: What? He killed Gertie! MR.
MATHESON: Shut your bleeding cake hole! And don't speak that way about a man of the cloth! It's obvious! He's much too nice.
It's all an act.
Respected man of the cloth, my foot! Don't be silly, Aunt Elsa.
People are nice here in the country.
They stitched Gertie up like a holiday turkey! How nice is that? (GASPS) Now look what you've done! Squeeze that big bum in the backseat and let's go home! Bye-bye.
Goodbye.
I got some great shots of boggie.
I'll cut you guys in on what I get from the Daily News, okay? Look, maybe you should wait till lan and I get back.
I don't think so.
Wait till you see your room at the inn.
What's he talking about? (CHUCKLING) He just came with me to make reservations.
Something wrong with the place? No, no, it's lovely.
But there's only one bedroom.
(LAUGHS) What will the neighbors think? (KNOCKING AT DOOR) Leary? (SCREAMS) MR.
OATES: Hey! You! (HUMMING) (SINGING) My boggie lies over the ocean So bring back my boggie to me Cheers, boggie! (DOOR OPENS) Oh, my! (DOOR CLOSES) (SIGHS) Oh, I'm sorry, Abigail.
I didn't mean to frighten you.
Me heart's beating in me mouth! Oh, and a big heart it is, too.
(SIGHS) Just making my rounds.
How are we tonight? Oh, we're all right.
(CHUCKLING) Would you like a police escort home? Personal services.
Oh, no.
Me car's just in back.
I've just got to finish up.
(MOUTHING) Oh.
MR.
OATES: Constable! What is it? (PANTING) Come quick! Someone's broken into your office! Sorry.
Close the door behind you! You drank it, didn't you? Poor bugger, you must be thirsty.
Bet you haven't had a good stiff one in centuries.
(LAUGHS) Maybe we could both do with a good stiff one.
(CHUCKLES) You know, you should be our mascot.
Yeah! The Bog Man Pub, we'll call it.
I'll drink to that.
We'll both drink to that.
(LAUGHING) Nah.
Maybe I'll sell you off.
Bet you'd bring in a few quid.
(SINGING) My boggie lies over the ocean My boggie lies over the sea (DOOR CREAKING) Who is it? (THUDDING) Bloody hell! (PANTING) Trying to escape, were we? Now, how am I gonna heft you back up there? Never mind.
We'll leave you till morning.
Good night.
Sleep tight.
Don't let the bog bugs bite.
(CHUCKLES) (SIGHS) (HUMMING) (DOOR CREAKING) (GASPS) Oh, no! No, please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (SCREAMING) Very cozy.
(CHUCKLES) (SIGHS) Sorry about the accommodation.
Well, that's okay.
We'll make do.
Have our own little pajama party.
Oh, I don't wear pajamas.
Oh.
Come on.
I can just see you in a little pair of silk pj's and a smoking jacket.
I don't smoke, either.
(SOFTLY) I bet you do.
I beg your pardon? Nothing.
(CHUCKLES) So what do you wear to bed? It depends on the circumstances.
I usually sleep in the raw.
Usually.
It Happened One Night.
Excuse me? You know the old American movie with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert.
No.
It's a classic.
They run it constantly on the telly.
From the '30s.
(CLEARING THROAT) I'd rather read a book.
Aren't we cultured? (SIGHS) Just like in the movie.
(SIGHS) You didn't have to do this, you know.
I think it's proper.
It's extremely proper.
We'll both be more comfortable.
You'll see.
Sleep well.
You, too.
(SIGHS) Lan? Do I make you nervous? Yes.
No I mean, yes, sometimes you do.
Am I too aggressive? Randi, I am the teacher and you are the student.
We need boundaries.
This is a boundary.
I scare you because of what I turn into.
(SIGHS) No.
You made me nervous before all that started.
That's good.
I mean, at least it's not just Well, you know what I mean.
Don't you? Lan? Lan, are you pretending you don't know what I'm talking about? I'm pretending to be asleep.
You should do the same.
(SIGHS) Good night.
Sleep tight.
Don't let the bed bugs bite.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR) WOMAN: Professor.
Professor Matheson, you in there? Please wake up.
What time is it? Ooh! Over here, Professor.
Miss.
Oh, my God! The devil has come to the heath.
Now we've all been shaken by the tragic events of these past two days.
But together, we can get to the bottom of it.
Gertie's nephew, Professor Matheson, and his colleague, Miss Wallace, have offered to help us investigate these cases.
Oh, that's a grand idea! Might as well ask the devil, himself.
Well, another incident occurred last night.
Someone broke into my office.
Fortunately, Mr.
Oates stopped the intruder before he made away with anything.
Oh, where is Mr.
Oates? I'll get him.
LEARY: Now, have any of you seen It's one of you! The dark one has returned.
More blood will flow.
Your pagan beliefs are not welcome in the house of the Lord.
Bring me a cloth from one of the victims, and I shall name the killer.
(PEOPLE MURMURING) I may be blind, but I can see.
Although you see, you are blind! (EXCLAIMS) LEARY: What is it? Mr.
Oates! LEARY: Ain't no good for you to try and get in.
Now, make way now.
Make way.
Professor Matheson, Miss Wallace, please.
RANDl: Oh, my God.
Cooked in his own oven.
God have mercy on us all.
May Mr.
Oates be risen.
LEARY: Go home.
There's nothing to see.
Why don't you all go home? There's nothing to see.
(SIGHS) (SIGHS) Look, I know you think he's a little off, but I think we should talk to Angus.
A little off? The man's a walking banana plantation.
But I have a feeling about him.
I mean, he sees things that nobody else does.
He makes my skin itch.
That's fleas.
(SIGHS) Constable? Hi.
We'd like to have a little talk with Angus.
Oh, don't waste your time.
He's a bit (CHUCKLES) How do you Americans say Doing lunch.
(CHUCKLES) Something like that.
But we would like that piece of cloth.
Cloth? Yes.
You know the one that Gertie was wearing the night she was If you say so.
ANGUS: When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
Come.
Both of you.
(PLAYING FLUTE) Sit.
I've not encountered one of your kind in a good many years.
How could you know? I'm descended from Celtic priests.
I keep the knowledge alive.
Why are you here? We need your knowledge.
There's no cure for the mark of the wolf.
That is what you truly want to know, isn't it? What do you mean? There's gotta be.
It's not known to Celtic magic.
You must live with your burden.
(GRUNTS) (SIGHS) All right, what have you brought for me? Yes.
(SNIFFING) Yes.
The seamstress's dress.
Yes.
You know who did it, don't you? Yes, yes.
Who was it? Who killed my aunt? (GASPING) (STUTTERING) Grey Fergus Grey? Is Fergus Grey the killer? Is he dead? (ANGUS SNORING) (SIGHS) No.
He's just drunk.
(SIGHS) Fergus Grey.
Come on.
Let's go and have a chat with Fergus Grey.
Wow.
One step beyond.
In the old days, people thought these bogs were haunted.
He lives there? With his servants, cooks and upstairs maids, yes.
Shut up.
Mr.
Grey? What's that? Where? BOTH: Blood.
Homey.
IAN: At least it explains the blood.
RANDl: Someone saw the decor and slashed their wrists? It's a smokehouse, Randi.
Oh.
Is this normal? It's not unusual.
He's a hunter.
Jerk! I've seen enough.
IAN: Mr.
Grey.
What the hell do you want? We We came to talk to you.
Don't want to talk.
(GUN COCKS) Now, get out of my home.
(CLEARS THROAT) Mr.
Grey, we'd like to speak with you.
Angus said Angus? I can imagine what he said.
Randi.
Now, get off my land before I shoot and smoke you.
(CHUCKLES) Lan and kidney pie! (LAUGHING) (GUN FIRES) (LAUGHING) IAN: Constable Leary said there was bog mud all over his office after the break in.
RANDl: It has to be him! Angus is right! We should get Constable Leary to go round there No.
No.
No.
We stake him out.
Stake him out? Yeah, we hide in the car.
We wait for him to make his next move.
In the car? All night? If you think you can handle it without the wall of Jericho.
We'll sleep in shifts.
You're a fun date.
It's your reputation.
Too late.
(IAN SNORING) (SNORING LOUDLY) My God, lan, your snoring could wake the dead.
They have enough trouble staying put around here.
(EXCLAIMS) (GASPS) Your turn.
Oh, yes.
Lan.
Lan, wake up.
Lan, look! What? He's leaving.
Let's go.
(BIRDS CAWING) (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) This stuff is muck.
(SHUSHING) Move on, move on.
This is disgusting.
What's a little bog rot between friends? For Pete's sake.
(GRUNTS) Precisely.
God.
(SHUSHING) Some kind of ceremony.
Celtic, I bet? (WHISPERS) Oh, my God.
Atticus.
Atticus.
Sacrifice.
(GRUNTS) (SCREAMS) (BIRDS CHIRPING) Atticus.
Oh, God.
Look, a broken chain, like the one they found on the bog man.
So that's how Gertie found him.
The chain finally snapped.
What kind of writing is that? It's a It's a variation on Celtic.
I can't quite make it out.
I'd love to take that to a library.
I read a lot of Nancy Drew.
Are you reading or just looking for pictures? Evelyn Wood.
I've got it! Let's hear it.
"Here lie the remains of Atticus Grey.
" Atticus Grey? That's an ancestor of Fergus! Right.
"In this dreary bog his corpse must stay.
"For should he ever rise again, "his heinous crimes will never end.
" Hanged, 1804.
Now, I can't make out this last line.
I'll look him up in the village register.
Got him! "Atticus Grey.
"The body of Atticus Grey.
"He was notorious for killing his victims in the manner of their profession.
" Suspiciously familiar.
He was hung and buried in the bog almost 200 years ago.
(SIGHS) Old Fergus must be playing out some kind of ancestral prophecy.
"Before taking the noose he cursed the village, "promising to rise from the grave and continue killing.
" That's it? (SIGHING) Then there's no clue about that last line.
Maybe Angus would know what it says.
That's all we could read.
If you could help.
Oh, now you come to me.
Me, crazy old Angus.
Oh, blind old man isn't quite such a fool as you thought.
A Celtic priestess inscribed that stone to counter Atticus' curse.
For evil that powerful can neither be subdued by ordinary means nor tempered by time.
So how do we break the curse of Atticus? As inscribed, he can be stopped by that which hanged him.
The noose.
The noose? Only with the noose around his neck can you lead him back to the grave, and anchor him in the dark peat.
Thank you.
Do you think maybe Fergus didn't do it after all? Let's not look for a ghost under every bed.
Fergus is obviously acting out the curse of Atticus.
But maybe we should get that noose, you know, just in case.
Look, no noose is good noose.
Oh.
We don't need the bloody thing.
You don't actually think Randi, bog men don't run around.
They just lie there, they sink and they rot.
Yes, Professor.
And there are no such thing as werewolves.
Fine.
We won't get the noose.
And the next time there's a full moon, you won't restrain me.
We'll just take in a show.
(SCREAMING) (GROANING) Angus! Oh, my God.
Who did this to you? (GRUNTING) (ANGUS GROANING) RANDl: Atticus Grey is the killer.
The curse is true.
It's all here.
Now, we just need the noose.
I assure you, Miss Wallace, Atticus Grey is over there in that pub, as dead as my Aunt Mimi.
Deader.
Just the noose.
That's all we need is the noose.
All right! If it will just stop your bloody caterwauling, you can have the damned thing.
Here.
Thank you, Constable.
He's gone! Big surprise.
I told you! Obviously Fergus Grey has stolen the corpse.
Let's get over there before somebody else dies.
Yeah.
I better take some fingerprints.
(PANTING) (BANGING ON DOOR) Get away or I'll fire! I mean it! (ROARS) Atticus, I wasn't trying to stop you.
My family and I have always given you honor.
Believe me! (GUN FIRING) (GRUNTING) (GASPING) (GROWLING) Atticus! (SCREAMING) (CHOKING) I'm your flesh and blood.
(SCREAMING) No one here.
(HISSING) Something's cooking.
Oh, God, it's Fergus Grey.
(ROARING) No! No! (SCREAMING) Lan! (SCREAMS) The noose.
The noose.
Noose! I got it.
I got it! (GASPING) (GRUNTS) I got it! (GROANS) (GRUNTS) (YELLS) IAN: No! (IAN CHOKING) (GRUNTING) No! No! No! (SCREAMS) Lan! Lan! Lan! (IAN SCREAMING) God! The noose! Get the noose tighter! (GRUNTING) Oh.
Oh, my God! Lan! Lan! Lan! Kill him, please! Oh, my God! Kill him! The noose! Kill him! (GRUNTING) (GROANING) Oh, God! Let's get this old bastard back where he belongs.
Isn't there some kind of bog man removal service or something? We're it, I'm afraid.
That was the most painful suicide I ever saw.
First he jumps into an animal trap and then he jumps into a fire.
That was no suicide.
Mind you, Fergus was always one of those, you know the word, masochists.
But we told you what happened.
We may not be as sophisticated as you people up in London, but we do know ghost stories from reality.
The matter is closed.
Fergus was the killer.
And if you're wise, you'll get out of town before people find out that you destroyed their bog man.
But if Fergus was No.
No, Randi.
He's right.
(SCOFFS) And tomorrow night is the full moon.
Uh-oh.
Oh, a bit superstitious, are we? Bye.
No!