Shtisel (2013) s01e02 Episode Script

1
This is your new teacher,
Rabbi Akiva Shtisel.
PREVIOUSLY ON SHTISEL
Quiet!
What's your name?
Maybe I'm not cut out for this.
You just started
and you're already giving up?
I even sent this kid
to Wasserstein's office.
-Who is the boy?
-Israel Rotstein.
He's an orphan.
-Rabbi
-Israel. Are you here by yourself?
I'm with my mother.
Look, Mother, he drew this.
Your rabbi draws very well.
A matchmaker from Bnei Brak
called me today.
-He made an interesting proposal.
-He did?
She's a widow.
And she has a son.
What are you, divorced?
Do you wet your bed?
Lippe is leaving in two days.
I meant to call him
and wish him a safe trip.
He doesn't want to go.
And I'd rather he didn't go either.
What can you do? It's his job.
Have a safe trip.
I miss you already.
Is this what I get for having
to leave home for six months?
This is hard, that's all.
Abot Barkai Productions
Talisma Productions
Created by
Ori Elon and Yehonatan Indursky
Dov Glickman
Michael Aloni
Ayelet Zurer
Neta Riskin
Shira Hass
Casting
Hila Yuval
Executive Producer
Eitan Abot
Line Producer
Isca Gur-Luzon
Art Director
Tamar Gadish
Music
Avi Belleli
Cinematography
Roey Roth
Editor
Gilad Ariel
Screenplay
Ori Elon and Yehonatan Indursky
Executive Producer
Dikla Barkai
Executive Producer
Jonathan Aroch
Director
Alon Zingman
SHTISEL
Hello. Hello.
-Hello?
-Hello.
May I please speak to Mrs. Rotstein?
-Can I be of help?
-No, I need to speak to her.
On Saturday we're celebrating
our 53rd wedding anniversary
and I want to buy my wife
an electric blanket.
I'd like to withdraw $150.
I'm sorry, but I see here
that you can't even withdraw $100.
Maybe it's for the best.
I heard that in Japan this woman
went to sleep with an electric blanket
and got electrocuted.
Oh, my.
Please hold.
I'm sorry, Rabbi Sheinberger.
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
Yes, how may I help you?
Hello, Mrs. Rotstein,
I'm calling from Shtisel free loan fund.
We're taking
a customer satisfaction survey.
Two weeks ago, you borrowed a heater
from the free loan fund.
-Akiva?
-Yes.
Forgive me, were we supposed
to return the heater?
No, not at all.
On the contrary, we have a few extra
if you need.
-Thank you, but one is enough.
-No problem.
Listen, Elisheva,
I was thinking of asking Konigsberg
to arrange a proper meeting.
Elisheva?
Akiva, I'm at work.
I'm sorry, I can call you later.
Will you have time later today?
I have a minute.
Is it okay if I talk to Konigsberg?
Listen
I have to get back to work,
but yes, sure, I'd like that.
Wonderful! Thank you.
-I'll talk to Konigsberg.
-Thank you. Have a nice day.
I don't understand.
One of your employees doesn't show
up and no one knows where he is?
What do you mean he didn't arrive?
He had a plane ticket to Argentina
that you paid for.
Give me your manager's
phone number, please.
-Get me a pen and paper.
-Tell me, I'll memorize it.
It's an overseas number,
you won't remember.
Just a second.
Thank you.
Yes.
Thank you.
-Haven't you spoken to Father yet?
-No.
I don't know,
maybe I'm worried for nothing.
Have you seen the can opener?
Here.
He must have called this morning,
when I was at the grocery store.
You know what, Ruchami?
I bet we're worried for nothing.
There's no point.
Maybe his plane flew over
the Bermuda triangle.
Lots of planes got lost there.
Ruchami, really.
Don't be silly.
Come my beloved to greet the bride
Come my beloved to greet the bride
The Sabbath presence
The Sabbath presence
The Sabbath presence let us welcome!
The Sabbath presence let us welcome!
Very nice.
Children, I'm going to make myself
a cup of tea.
In the meantime, continue singing.
I want to hear you.
Kirshenboim,
does the material bore you?
No, we're talking about
what you're saying.
You're talking about
what I'm saying?
Good morning.
Forgive me, I startled you.
Hello.
I didn't submit this month's list.
It's in my classroom.
I'll hand it in later.
Please do. I'd like to suggest
something very interesting.
It's playing in the Jerusalem Theater
on Saturday night. What do you say?
All the cantors.
Motzen, Muller and Helfgot.
Helfgut.
-Helfgut.
-That's his name.
I'd rather we don't talk here,
Aliza.
In any case, today's cantors
are all impersonators.
Second rate.
All right then, Mrs. Gvili,
don't worry about a thing.
Have a nice day.
Thank you very much.
Coward.
-Excuse me, where's the manager?
-Over there.
You sent me four pallets
instead of five.
We ordered five.
This isn't the first time, Arie.
Hello, I'm Weiss.
Hold on, I'm on the phone.
Send us what's left.
Thank you, Arie. Bye.
Hello, I'm Lippe Weiss' wife.
We spoke a few times this week.
Yes, forgive me, Mrs. Weiss.
I wanted to talk to you.
It seems your husband decided
to stop working for us.
What?
What do you mean?
He just went to Argentina.
That's right. We have an apartment
with three other guys.
They told me that he was
in a terrible mood when he arrived.
And after about an hour
he took his wallet,
said he was fed up.
He left behind his tefillin,
his kippah, and left.
They say he met a Shiksa.
Shtisel!
Just the man I was looking for.
Listen.
I have a proposal for you.
She's 19, just started
getting offers for matches.
Not like those women who have met
all the men in Ponevitch.
-Yes, child, what do you want?
-How much is a fruit juice?
The same question again, Goldman?
-How much do you have?
-$1,40 shekel.
That'll do it. Thank you.
-Can I have a straw?
-What?
-A straw.
-Here.
Shtisel, are you listening to me?
Gottlieb's daughter.
-Who?
-Gottlieb's daughter.
Which Gottlieb?
The one with the soccer socks?
Should I tell him what kind of women
you're willing to meet?
I'd like to hear about her,
I would,
but I had someone else in mind.
Can we go somewhere and talk?
We can talk here.
He'll soon fall asleep on the ladder.
I'm here on another matter.
Do you know the Shmeltzers?
Now you've gone too far.
Their granddaughter is not yet 16.
I'm talking about the daughter.
Which daughter?
The one from the bank?
Rotstein?
Lucky your father can't hear you.
Why? I've heard good things
about her.
Are you out of your mind?
She's like a shnitzel that was frozen,
thawed, heated up,
frozen, thawed,
heated up in the microwave
and served on a paper plate.
Konigsberg, do me a favor.
And I'll tell you this:
you know what happened to the men
who ate this shnitzel?
They died strange deaths.
Heaven forbid.
I'm offering you a girl
with no complications.
If your wife is a few years
older than you,
and she had one or two husbands
before you
It's complicated, isn't it?
-If you ask them, will they agree?
-Will they agree?
They'll be thrilled
the minute I ask them.
Besides, they would never dream
that a man like you
would give her a second look.
Then you'll talk to them?
I want you to talk to them.
You know what? Why not?
Marry him, for all I care.
Fine, I'll ask him.
But let's make one thing clear.
You'll talk to your father about this,
not me.
You tell him it was your idea,
not mine.
Of course. Thank you.
Machtenberg! Just the man I need.
Listen
How are you?
I didn't see you at school today,
I was worried about you.
I miss your food.
Why do we have to hide?
Who's hiding?
Do you see me hiding?
What am I? A leper? A Moabite?
Why don't you talk to me at school?
I want to go to the concert with you.
Of course, we'll go.
We just have to find out when
And we have to buy tickets.
I already bought the tickets.
Good, good.
But what's the rush, Aliza?
We can go to a concert any day.
Well, Aliza?
Do you have any chicken soup left over?
Wait right here.
Here.
GVILI FAMILY
I made you wait, I'm sorry.
You're here.
Now.
You must have waited at least
20 minutes.
That's okay.
I mean, it's fine.
I once read in this book
that the word "wait"
means to expect something
that will never happen.
That's funny.
I thought we're waiting for the Messiah.
I've been thinking about it,
people spend most of their time waiting.
For a bus, a doctor's appointment.
For the kettle to boil,
to fall asleep at night.
Waiting for someone in the lobby.
-How about you?
-What?
What are you waiting for?
I
I might not be waiting anymore.
I'm waiting for Israel to grow up,
to see him married and holding a job.
But for yourself,
is there anything you're waiting for?
The resurrection of the dead?
Do I frighten you, Akiva?
Not at all.
I have this recurring dream.
I see a woman sitting on a bench.
She has a brown suitcase,
and she's waiting.
-For whom?
-I don't know.
It's always very sad.
But beautiful at the same time.
You should have been late,
then you would have seen me waiting.
Right.
You don't have a suitcase
but it would have been beautiful.
-Maybe we should try it.
-What?
Start our date over again
and this time you'll be late.
Right now?
Yes.
Alright.
Okay.
-Should I get up then?
-Yes.
Hello.
-I'm sorry I'm late.
-Don't be silly.
Listen to this.
An old Japanese couple went to sleep
with an electric blanket.
They were found three days later,
burnt to a crisp,
in one another's arms.
Father?
I have to talk to you.
Look at this.
Why is everyone in such a rush?
Someone proposed a new match to me.
We met earlier this evening.
Who is she?
Rotstein.
Rotstein?
Rabbi Azriel's granddaughter?
No, the other Rotstein.
Shmeltzer's daughter.
Elisheva, the widow.
Well, well.
I'm not a child.
I didn't say a word.
What do you think?
I think I'll see her again.
Are you asking for my permission
or my advice?
I don't know.
I'm telling you.
You're a big boy.
It's too late to educate you.
You decide.
How's it going with your class?
It's not easy.
Not easy at all.
If you give them a hard time,
why should they go easy on you?
Honestly, I'm not surprised.
And now you tell me
you're seeing the widow Rotstein.
Two times a widow.
Stop it!
I don't want to hear about it.
Listen,
you have to be smart,
you have to have a system.
Go to the living room.
There's a black bag there.
-Bring it to me.
-What's in it?
If you don't get it,
you'll never know.
Well?
Sit down.
Do you know what this is?
-Oh, come on.
-Answer me out loud.
A banana bar.
Right.
Now I want you to learn
an important lesson in life.
If a child
behaves exceptionally well,
if they help you in class,
things like that,
you give them a banana bar.
It doesn't have to be the entire bar.
You can break it into pieces
and give a little at a time.
-What if they behave badly?
-Good question.
If they behave badly
and nothing helps,
you recite the "Leshem Yichud"
and give them a smack.
I thought you're not supposed
to smack children these days.
"Spare the rod"
There's no other way.
But you have to be careful.
Not a drop of anger,
you understand me?
If you get your emotions involved,
it's very dangerous.
The child has to feel
that you're acting with common sense
and that it's for their own good.
I'm not sure I understand.
In any case,
I'm going to bed.
Good night.
Kiva, come here.
Come here a second.
Come here.
"To unite the name of the Holy One
I will fulfill
the commandment of education."
What was that for?
Brain and heart.
Know when to use your brain
and when to use your heart.
Hello, is your mother home?
Mother, someone's here for you.
-Hello.
-Hello, how are you Giti?
Fine.
-Who are you?
-Nechama, nice to meet you.
I'm Rabbi Ben Harosh' wife,
the factory manager.
Oh
Hello.
I'm afraid the apartment
is rather messy.
Please wait for me in the living room,
I'll be right there.
Something smells really good.
Sit down.
How are you?
Fine, thank God.
Do you have any news?
No, not yet.
My husband told me what happened.
I came here to ask if he called
or sent a message.
No, not yet.
How awful.
How can a person
do something like this?
Thank you for your concern.
You poor thing.
It's hard, I know.
But you'll manage, you'll see.
-Forgive me.
-Nonsense.
I'll make it short.
We want to create a fund
to help you.
At least in the beginning.
It's discreet, don't worry,
I just have to know
how many children you have.
-Five.
-Five.
We have to find the scoundrel
and get him to divorce you.
Don't call him a scoundrel.
Merciful Jews!
Help!
Do not stand on the sidelines!
Seven orphans cry out
and there is no one to save them!
A religious man
who left behind seven orphans
Hello, Mrs. Weiss,
how can I help you?
-I heard that my wife spoke to you.
-Thank God.
Lippe called on Saturday night.
Poor man, he's had a rough time,
but now he's fine.
Really?
He met this Jew,
a diamond merchant,
he took him into the business.
He's no longer in need
of anyone's charity.
Thank God. Thank God.
-I'm sorry if
-No, it's okay, it's not your fault.
All I ask
is that you and your wife
never repeat those lies
that you told me on Friday.
What you said is slanderous,
it's libel.
I don't envy whoever made them up.
Neither do I.
It must have been a misunderstanding.
Take care. Thank you.
I'll tell Lippe you said hello.
Hello.
Shtisel
you're early,
I meant to call you.
What's new?
What's new?
What's new with you?
Did you talk to them?
-Listen, Shtisel.
-Yes?
I don't know why,
it's very strange,
but they told me
they don't want to go through with it.
What?
Who? Her parents? Her?
What's the difference?
They're odd.
You'd think they have suitors
lining up outside their door.
Forget about it,
it's for the better.
Now you can finally hear
what I have to offer, right?
I told you,
an ordinary girl and young too.
I don't understand.
The meeting went so well.
Shtisel, I'm very busy.
But I have other widows,
if you're interested.
Maybe not twice over,
those are very hard to find.
Be seated.
Rabbi, can we turn on the fan?
Are you hot, Kirshenboim?
Yes, very hot.
All those who are hot,
raise their hands.
Okay, hands down.
Silence! Silence!
Israel, get over here.
Get over here.
Stand over here.
Take off your glasses,
put them over here.
"To unite the name of the Holy One
I will fulfill
the commandment of education."
Get back to your seat.
Diamonds?
I imagine he'll get a higher salary.
Not much higher.
But if he does well,
they promised him a raise.
Thank God for that.
Let's get the box ready.
My favorite program is on.
Do you want to watch it with me?
Sure. Just for a few minutes.
Mother?
All right.
What's this program called, Grandma?
"The Bold and the Beautiful."
But to tell you the truth,
They're not bold nor beautiful.
You see that couple?
They look very happy, don't they?
They have so many problems.
She loves him, he loves her.
But
he's always going out
with other women.
God, I yearn
for the pleasantness of Shabbat
Which is twinned and unified
With your treasured people
God, master of the universe,
You are the king of kings.
-Good Shabbes.
-Good Shabbes.
Remind me, who are you?
I'm Akiva Shtisel.
Akiva Shtisel?
Israel's rabbi?
Yes, that too.
Come inside.
It's cold out there.
Can I get you anything to eat?
A cup of tea maybe?
-A cup of tea would be nice.
-A cup of tea.
I don't understand.
You shouldn't come here like this.
To what do we owe this honor,
Rabbi Shtisel?
Actually
I wanted to know
what fault you found in me.
What?
I don't understand.
I may not be an outstanding rabbi,
but I studied in several yeshivas.
I may not be wealthy,
but I have a job, I'm healthy
and I want to marry Elisheva.
Is it because
I'm not a good teacher?
Not at all.
Life's not that simple.
People go through all kinds of things.
You have to respect that.
Rabbi Shtisel,
maybe you should go home.
You look very tired.
If you want,
I'll discuss it with Konigsberg.
All right?
-Good Shabbes.
-Good Shabbes.
Good Shabbes
-Good Shabbes.
-Good Shabbes.
I don't understand you, Elisheva.
I'm tired, I'm going to bed.
Bnei Brak?
In you go.
Thank you.
Look at the alligator, Mother.
Put that away,
so we don't miss the last bus
to Jerusalem.
Sweetheart,
what do you think
about your new teacher?
Rabbi Akiva?
-Do you like him?
-Very much.
He's very nice.
He teaches me how to draw.
He's not old like Rabbi Cheshin.
-He's more like--
-A father?
No. Like a friend.
Yes, he is a child.
Mother, I'm so tired.
Can we stay here tonight?
The Kamnitz yeshiva
was the best time of my life.
It was a powerful experience.
I'd go there at 11:00 at night
and it would be more than half full.
You want me to tell you
about my cars?
-No.
-Then let's leave it alone, okay?
Was it good?
It was missing
a bit of black pepper.
I'll add some more next time.
No, don't listen to him.
You know I don't like spicy food.
You don't like anything,
that's your problem.
Shall I make us some coffee?
Why don't you study together sometime?
Do me a favor.
The yeshiva turned his brain
into mush.
He doesn't study the Gemarah,
only "Rabbi Chaim."
I gave up on you a long time ago.
I feel bad for my little Israel.
Your Israel? I raised him.
Don't start with me.
Fine, that's not the issue.
What about his education?
Who will teach him to revere God?
I have to agree with you on that.
I'm not blaming you, Elisheva,
but you could do with some reverence.
-Why do you say that?
-Oh, come on, Elisheva.
Listening to the radio on Shabbes?
You've gone too far.
You think if you turn it on
Friday evening it's okay?
Most of the scholars say
it's a desecration of the Shabbes.
Rabbi Feinstein allowed the Americans
to watch TV with a Shabbes timer,
but it was the order of the day.
Otherwise they'd have become Reformed
a long time ago.
I also consider it the order of the day.
I'm lonely during the Shabbes,
it helps me.
Maybe you're right,
but it's a shame.
A real shame.
"Blessed are you,
king of the universe,
through whose word
everything comes into being."
-Amen.
-Amen.
Amen.
Two sodas, please.