Stripperella (2003) s01e02 Episode Script
Crime Doesn't Pay... Seriously, It Doesn't
1
Previously, on Stripperella
Evil doers,
prepare to become evil don'ters.
Someone's maliciously fattening
these supermodels.
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
All we know is that
all eight models
were represented
by the same agency.
The "pretty girl
modeling agency".
It's run by a man
named Nairasec Rotcod.
Pretty crazy about those models
suddenly becoming enormous, huh?
I had nothing to do with
any models becoming enormous.
Why ask me?!
Persephone, what do you
keep looking around for?
My new boyfriend,
Dave is coming in.
We've been dating a whole month
and I'm finally gonna meet
his brother tonight.
That's him?
I mean, them?
Huh?
Check out my new breasts,
I just got them done.
Since I saw you yesterday?
The plastic surgeon
is the greatest.
His name is Dr. Cesarian.
Thanks for the boob job,
Dr. Cesarian.
They look and feel so natural!
Anytime, Enorma.
I'll be seeing you
In the obituary column!
That is it!
All these girls had boob jobs!
"Dr. Cesarian"!
There she is!
Damn!
Better watch out!
Hi, my name is sister Mary
Hadalamb.
I'd like to speak with
Dr. Cesarian, if I may.
Sister Hadalamb's here
to see you.
Ah, yes,
how can I help you, sister?
Are you considering liposuction?
Ass reduction?
Ear sculpting?
Oh, no.
Actually,
I'm collecting donations
for those poor,
morbidly-obsese supermodels.
I thought certainly
you'd wanna donate.
Why would I want to donate?
Just because I performed
surgery on all of them
right before they expanded?
God bless you.
Excuse me, doctor,
where do we keep
the monosodium glutamate?
Well, there should be some
in either room one, two or four.
Not room three!
Whatever you do,
do not go in room three.
Room three is
off-limits private!
I know, stay out of room three.
Obviously, there's something
going on in room three
that you don't want anyone
to see or know about.
Exactly.
I'd better be getting back to
You know,
wherever the nuns go.
Church?
Yes!
That place.
Good afternoon, fellas,
welcome to the tender loins.
Whoa, you're twice!
Now, you're all blurry.
That's because
you just rubbed your eyes,
you big-headed twit!
We're just here
to see Persephone.
Can we go in?
Sure, I just need
to see some IDs
You can go in,
where's your I.D.?
I seem to have misplaced it.
You don't really need
to see it, do you?
I'm clearly over 21,
unlike your I.Q.
Dave, you made it!
Oh, cliff.
I didn't know
you were coming too.
I return to London
in the morning,
and my brother insisted
we spend my last night
in a vulgar sleaze emporium.
Cliff, please.
Look at the happy couple.
It seems like Persephone
always has a boyfriend.
She's so easy?
No, lucky.
I wish I could meet
a nice, normal guy like that,
fall in love.
Sometimes, I just get so lonely.
Between dancing
and fighting crime,
I just don't have time
for a social life.
Did you just say
"fighting crime"?
What?!
No, no, I said,
"fighting grime".
I spend a lot of time cleaning
around the house and stuff,
and it's grime, not crime.
In fact, I should be
fighting grime, right now.
Bye, boss!
Erotica, where are you going?
It's only seven o'clock,
you can't just leave and
I'm talking to no one.
Oh, I forgot, I can
cut glass with my nipples.
I could've broke a nail,
like this.
Ugh!
Hmmp!
Oops, wrong finger,
maybe, this one.
"Breast implants
that turn women fat"?
That's how he's doing it!
That's right.
I've been enlarging models
with my evil
blubber-releasing implants!
Nairasec Rotcod?
You're doing this?
What about Dr. Cesarian?
Hang on, I wanna show you
something really cool.
Look at this.
"Nairasec Rotcod"
is "doctor Cesarian" backwards!
We're the same person!
Isn't that clever?
Well, yes, that's kinda neat.
I mean, it's not
really that clever.
Oh, yeah?
Well, watch this!
See, now, that's impressive.
Being a plastic surgeon
has its benefits.
You realize that
I'm gonna have to
beat you into submission
and deliver you
to the authorities,
don't you?
Actually, now, you're going
to be taking a little nap.
Well, I checked the manual
about our two-drink
minimum policy.
It doesn't say anything
about conjoined twins.
Do we charge them
for two drinks or four?
Um, I don't think you have
to worry about that.
The British half
has had way more than four.
Ha-whoaaa!
Hey, let's go look
at your naked tart
of a girlfriend.
Hey, cliff, let's sit down,
you're embarrassing me.
People are looking at us funny.
Hey, per-stupid-e!
Mind if I cut in?
Cliff, I mean it, let's go, now!
Who's gonna make me?
Let's go, you're outta here!
What about him?
He's not the problem.
You started it, he can stay!
It's okay, I'm leaving, anyway.
Cliff, can I talk to you?
Alone?
I'll give you two some privacy.
Cliff, I'm not trying to get
in between you and Dave.
But what is it about me
you don't like?
It's not you, it's Dave.
My entire life,
I've lived in his shadow.
I always felt like my parents
liked him more than me
'cause he was born, first.
He's a week older than me,
you know?
Oh, for some reason,
I always assumed
you were the same age.
While I was studying at Oxford,
Dave was out partying
with all his women!
Women love Dave.
I guess I'm jealous.
The truth is
I'm madly in love with you!
I have been since the moment
I laid eyes on you.
But I know a girl like you
wouldn't give me
the time of day.
That's why I say mean things
to you.
It's a defense mechanism.
Aw!
Sleep well, Stripperella?
No, of course, not.
Why do you hate models so much?
Why?
Because my whole life,
beautiful girls
have spurned my advances.
I vowed that one day,
I would make them all pay.
So, just because
Also, my mother was a model,
she ran off when I was five.
I declared then and there
that I would make
all models pay.
Well, but even if you could
Also, I once had
a promising career
as a model.
I had a scholarship
to go to modeling college
and everything.
But, then, I became
horribly disfigured
in a modeling accident!
They said I would
never model, again,
and I vowed to
make them all pay!
Oh, yeah, also,
my grandparents
were killed by models.
I'll admit, you definitely
have some valid reasons
for not liking models.
Oh, I hate models!
And heights.
But that's neither
here nor there.
You can't really harm heights.
So your plan is to turn
every model in the world fat?
No, in fact, my new plan
is to make them all
Dead.
Exploding implants!
That's right.
I'm going to turn models
into literal bombshells.
In approximately,
five minutes and 10 seconds,
Enorma Rae will take the stage
at theVH1 Fashion Awards.
I gave her
an exploding breast implant.
Her left breast!
She's gonna explode
on live television,
and take all of those vapid,
dreadful models with her.
Let's watch, shall we?
Welcome to the
VH1 Fashion Awards.
Scheduled to appear,
Tony Danza
How much time
before I go on stage?
Exactly three minutes
and 27 seconds.
Thanks.
Three minutes and 26 seconds.
Three minutes and 25 seconds.
Three minutes and 24 seconds.
Three minutes and 23 seconds.
Three minutes and 22 seconds.
Three minutes and
that guy
from that soap opera,
what's-her-face from that show
with the talking fruit,
Vern fromTrading Spaces.
The corpse of Sonny Bono.
And, now, here's your host,
Tom green!
Welcome to the show!
I'm a host!
I'm a host!
Look at me hosting the show!
He's kind of annoying,
but in a way,
that's what's funny about him.
What the!
And the award for
best-dressed kick goes to
Me!
Whoa!
Best dressed kick?
Well, I wanted to say something
really clever and relevant
to the whole
fashion awards thing,
and that's all I could think of
in such short notice.
Understandable,
now, hold it right there,
or I'll be forced to
inject you with cellulite.
Oh, no!
Not cellulite!
Now, hold it right there,
or I'll be forced to
inject you with cellulite.
Oh, no, not cellulite!
Yes!
There's no escape!
Welcome to Fatsville,
population, you.
Oh, fat!
Not funny!
Coming up in exactly two minutes
and 47 seconds,
enorma Rae!
I'd like to thank
all the little hispanic
boys and girls
who worked around the clock,
sometimes for mere pennies a day
to make this dream
come true for me.
Two minutes and 18 seconds!
Two minutes and 17 seconds!
Two minutes and 16 seconds!
Woody Allen and huge-breasted
supermodel, enorma Rae!
Normally, I'm
the biggest boob on stage!
Ramps plus?
Ramps delivery service?
How convenient!
Huh?
Huh?
The parking lot's over there!
Whoa!
And the award for the most
creative zipper goes to
Wait!
Enorma, you've
been booby-trapped!
You're set to explode
in two minutes!
I have to diffuse your chest!
This is gold, people!
Stay on her, stay on her!
Diffusing a boob on live T.V.
I'm gonna win an Emmy!
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Everybody, stand back!
I haven't seen a bomb that big
since my last 10 films!
Bsshhhh!
Stripperella, I came
to arrest Dr. Cesarian,
but I think you gave me
the wrong address.
This should be 935 elm street,
but all I see here
is a pile of smoldering rubble.
Well, that was his office.
The exploding breast implants
must have gone off.
Then, what happened
to the doctor?
He's dead, kaboom!
Gone!
See you later!
I've ruled the cause of death
to be spontaneous combustion.
That's all that's left of him!
Dave dumped me.
I slept with his brother,
and, somehow, he found out.
Boy, that could really
tear two brothers apart.
Yeah, they were
never really that close.
Did you guys see what happened
at the fashion awards
last night?
Yeah, that was awesome!
The ratings
were through the roof.
VH1 already announced
that they're gonna be
placing live bombs on the sets
of all their shows!
I was talking about Brad Pitt
wearing those tight,
little mini shorts, oh, oh, oh!
That Stripperella sure is great.
I wish I was her.
What about you, Erotica?
Do you wish you were her?
Oh, yeah, I wish I was her, too.
I have a feeling we haven't seen
the last of Stripperella.
I have a feeling
we haven't seen the last of you,
Dr. Cesarian.
Train number three,
nonstop, Los Angeles
to Milan, Italy, now boarding.
Previously, on Stripperella
Evil doers,
prepare to become evil don'ters.
Someone's maliciously fattening
these supermodels.
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
All we know is that
all eight models
were represented
by the same agency.
The "pretty girl
modeling agency".
It's run by a man
named Nairasec Rotcod.
Pretty crazy about those models
suddenly becoming enormous, huh?
I had nothing to do with
any models becoming enormous.
Why ask me?!
Persephone, what do you
keep looking around for?
My new boyfriend,
Dave is coming in.
We've been dating a whole month
and I'm finally gonna meet
his brother tonight.
That's him?
I mean, them?
Huh?
Check out my new breasts,
I just got them done.
Since I saw you yesterday?
The plastic surgeon
is the greatest.
His name is Dr. Cesarian.
Thanks for the boob job,
Dr. Cesarian.
They look and feel so natural!
Anytime, Enorma.
I'll be seeing you
In the obituary column!
That is it!
All these girls had boob jobs!
"Dr. Cesarian"!
There she is!
Damn!
Better watch out!
Hi, my name is sister Mary
Hadalamb.
I'd like to speak with
Dr. Cesarian, if I may.
Sister Hadalamb's here
to see you.
Ah, yes,
how can I help you, sister?
Are you considering liposuction?
Ass reduction?
Ear sculpting?
Oh, no.
Actually,
I'm collecting donations
for those poor,
morbidly-obsese supermodels.
I thought certainly
you'd wanna donate.
Why would I want to donate?
Just because I performed
surgery on all of them
right before they expanded?
God bless you.
Excuse me, doctor,
where do we keep
the monosodium glutamate?
Well, there should be some
in either room one, two or four.
Not room three!
Whatever you do,
do not go in room three.
Room three is
off-limits private!
I know, stay out of room three.
Obviously, there's something
going on in room three
that you don't want anyone
to see or know about.
Exactly.
I'd better be getting back to
You know,
wherever the nuns go.
Church?
Yes!
That place.
Good afternoon, fellas,
welcome to the tender loins.
Whoa, you're twice!
Now, you're all blurry.
That's because
you just rubbed your eyes,
you big-headed twit!
We're just here
to see Persephone.
Can we go in?
Sure, I just need
to see some IDs
You can go in,
where's your I.D.?
I seem to have misplaced it.
You don't really need
to see it, do you?
I'm clearly over 21,
unlike your I.Q.
Dave, you made it!
Oh, cliff.
I didn't know
you were coming too.
I return to London
in the morning,
and my brother insisted
we spend my last night
in a vulgar sleaze emporium.
Cliff, please.
Look at the happy couple.
It seems like Persephone
always has a boyfriend.
She's so easy?
No, lucky.
I wish I could meet
a nice, normal guy like that,
fall in love.
Sometimes, I just get so lonely.
Between dancing
and fighting crime,
I just don't have time
for a social life.
Did you just say
"fighting crime"?
What?!
No, no, I said,
"fighting grime".
I spend a lot of time cleaning
around the house and stuff,
and it's grime, not crime.
In fact, I should be
fighting grime, right now.
Bye, boss!
Erotica, where are you going?
It's only seven o'clock,
you can't just leave and
I'm talking to no one.
Oh, I forgot, I can
cut glass with my nipples.
I could've broke a nail,
like this.
Ugh!
Hmmp!
Oops, wrong finger,
maybe, this one.
"Breast implants
that turn women fat"?
That's how he's doing it!
That's right.
I've been enlarging models
with my evil
blubber-releasing implants!
Nairasec Rotcod?
You're doing this?
What about Dr. Cesarian?
Hang on, I wanna show you
something really cool.
Look at this.
"Nairasec Rotcod"
is "doctor Cesarian" backwards!
We're the same person!
Isn't that clever?
Well, yes, that's kinda neat.
I mean, it's not
really that clever.
Oh, yeah?
Well, watch this!
See, now, that's impressive.
Being a plastic surgeon
has its benefits.
You realize that
I'm gonna have to
beat you into submission
and deliver you
to the authorities,
don't you?
Actually, now, you're going
to be taking a little nap.
Well, I checked the manual
about our two-drink
minimum policy.
It doesn't say anything
about conjoined twins.
Do we charge them
for two drinks or four?
Um, I don't think you have
to worry about that.
The British half
has had way more than four.
Ha-whoaaa!
Hey, let's go look
at your naked tart
of a girlfriend.
Hey, cliff, let's sit down,
you're embarrassing me.
People are looking at us funny.
Hey, per-stupid-e!
Mind if I cut in?
Cliff, I mean it, let's go, now!
Who's gonna make me?
Let's go, you're outta here!
What about him?
He's not the problem.
You started it, he can stay!
It's okay, I'm leaving, anyway.
Cliff, can I talk to you?
Alone?
I'll give you two some privacy.
Cliff, I'm not trying to get
in between you and Dave.
But what is it about me
you don't like?
It's not you, it's Dave.
My entire life,
I've lived in his shadow.
I always felt like my parents
liked him more than me
'cause he was born, first.
He's a week older than me,
you know?
Oh, for some reason,
I always assumed
you were the same age.
While I was studying at Oxford,
Dave was out partying
with all his women!
Women love Dave.
I guess I'm jealous.
The truth is
I'm madly in love with you!
I have been since the moment
I laid eyes on you.
But I know a girl like you
wouldn't give me
the time of day.
That's why I say mean things
to you.
It's a defense mechanism.
Aw!
Sleep well, Stripperella?
No, of course, not.
Why do you hate models so much?
Why?
Because my whole life,
beautiful girls
have spurned my advances.
I vowed that one day,
I would make them all pay.
So, just because
Also, my mother was a model,
she ran off when I was five.
I declared then and there
that I would make
all models pay.
Well, but even if you could
Also, I once had
a promising career
as a model.
I had a scholarship
to go to modeling college
and everything.
But, then, I became
horribly disfigured
in a modeling accident!
They said I would
never model, again,
and I vowed to
make them all pay!
Oh, yeah, also,
my grandparents
were killed by models.
I'll admit, you definitely
have some valid reasons
for not liking models.
Oh, I hate models!
And heights.
But that's neither
here nor there.
You can't really harm heights.
So your plan is to turn
every model in the world fat?
No, in fact, my new plan
is to make them all
Dead.
Exploding implants!
That's right.
I'm going to turn models
into literal bombshells.
In approximately,
five minutes and 10 seconds,
Enorma Rae will take the stage
at theVH1 Fashion Awards.
I gave her
an exploding breast implant.
Her left breast!
She's gonna explode
on live television,
and take all of those vapid,
dreadful models with her.
Let's watch, shall we?
Welcome to the
VH1 Fashion Awards.
Scheduled to appear,
Tony Danza
How much time
before I go on stage?
Exactly three minutes
and 27 seconds.
Thanks.
Three minutes and 26 seconds.
Three minutes and 25 seconds.
Three minutes and 24 seconds.
Three minutes and 23 seconds.
Three minutes and 22 seconds.
Three minutes and
that guy
from that soap opera,
what's-her-face from that show
with the talking fruit,
Vern fromTrading Spaces.
The corpse of Sonny Bono.
And, now, here's your host,
Tom green!
Welcome to the show!
I'm a host!
I'm a host!
Look at me hosting the show!
He's kind of annoying,
but in a way,
that's what's funny about him.
What the!
And the award for
best-dressed kick goes to
Me!
Whoa!
Best dressed kick?
Well, I wanted to say something
really clever and relevant
to the whole
fashion awards thing,
and that's all I could think of
in such short notice.
Understandable,
now, hold it right there,
or I'll be forced to
inject you with cellulite.
Oh, no!
Not cellulite!
Now, hold it right there,
or I'll be forced to
inject you with cellulite.
Oh, no, not cellulite!
Yes!
There's no escape!
Welcome to Fatsville,
population, you.
Oh, fat!
Not funny!
Coming up in exactly two minutes
and 47 seconds,
enorma Rae!
I'd like to thank
all the little hispanic
boys and girls
who worked around the clock,
sometimes for mere pennies a day
to make this dream
come true for me.
Two minutes and 18 seconds!
Two minutes and 17 seconds!
Two minutes and 16 seconds!
Woody Allen and huge-breasted
supermodel, enorma Rae!
Normally, I'm
the biggest boob on stage!
Ramps plus?
Ramps delivery service?
How convenient!
Huh?
Huh?
The parking lot's over there!
Whoa!
And the award for the most
creative zipper goes to
Wait!
Enorma, you've
been booby-trapped!
You're set to explode
in two minutes!
I have to diffuse your chest!
This is gold, people!
Stay on her, stay on her!
Diffusing a boob on live T.V.
I'm gonna win an Emmy!
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Everybody, stand back!
I haven't seen a bomb that big
since my last 10 films!
Bsshhhh!
Stripperella, I came
to arrest Dr. Cesarian,
but I think you gave me
the wrong address.
This should be 935 elm street,
but all I see here
is a pile of smoldering rubble.
Well, that was his office.
The exploding breast implants
must have gone off.
Then, what happened
to the doctor?
He's dead, kaboom!
Gone!
See you later!
I've ruled the cause of death
to be spontaneous combustion.
That's all that's left of him!
Dave dumped me.
I slept with his brother,
and, somehow, he found out.
Boy, that could really
tear two brothers apart.
Yeah, they were
never really that close.
Did you guys see what happened
at the fashion awards
last night?
Yeah, that was awesome!
The ratings
were through the roof.
VH1 already announced
that they're gonna be
placing live bombs on the sets
of all their shows!
I was talking about Brad Pitt
wearing those tight,
little mini shorts, oh, oh, oh!
That Stripperella sure is great.
I wish I was her.
What about you, Erotica?
Do you wish you were her?
Oh, yeah, I wish I was her, too.
I have a feeling we haven't seen
the last of Stripperella.
I have a feeling
we haven't seen the last of you,
Dr. Cesarian.
Train number three,
nonstop, Los Angeles
to Milan, Italy, now boarding.