Svetlana (2010) s01e02 Episode Script

Good morning everybody.
Thank you for coming to our
weekly employee session word of
The week this week is
gumption gumption.
Everybody say it gumption.
It means desire, motivation
marina why don't you give me a
Sentence with gumption.
I barely flop into the gumption.
Okay, I like that.
It has meaning power emotion.
Okay Natasha please,
I found the bubblegum in the
gumption.
Very nice and you are using
bigger syllables now, I like it.
Okay let's quickly review words
from last week use these words,
When you're in the
world bedazzle.
Persnickety.
Ron Paul was persnickety.
Ron Paul was persnickety.
Fantastic.
What do you mean?
We have $50,000 in the account.
I'm telling you sir, I
did not withdraw anything.
No that's my daughter Olga.
She cannot operate an ATM,
how can she withdraw $50,000?
We need this money for business.
We will be shut down.
I'm not yelling speak English
please sir speak English.
He's an Indian.
Really?
That sounds very exotic.
We have a Kama
Sutra here for clients.
St. Petersburg house
of discrete pleasure.
It's prostitution for hire.
Hire clients know, ts know, my d
Vlady he likes Indian food but
He gives them gas.
He does dutch oven you
know fart under the bl
You know, mister Chapati I could
talk to you for hours but I
Had to call clients
because this is problem.
Good talking to you namaste.
I told you we should've
kept the money in the house.
We end up spending the
money only had in the house.
Okay now I have none.
I have to call a client.
It's a bummer.
It's always a bummer.
Give me a kiss kiss kiss.
I love you.
I love you too.
Okay.
Hi, it's Svetlana I'm calling
to schedule you and Angie we
Haven't seen a lot of time you
can bring the toys and you can
Bring the key.
I have enough
room for everybody.
Hello Nancy this is so that's
gonna were calling to schedule
Your appointment I
have a new girl for you.
So-call us back and we can
philosophize.
Hello, holder please.
St. Petersburg House of discrete
pleasures Svetlana speaking.
Hello how're you I'm so happy
to hear from you your in town.
Yes 4 pm today
absolutely a slot open.
Don't worry I'll be you, waxed
and relaxed just like you like
It.
Feel feel, where are you?
Feel Felix go. I have big waxing
and yoga appointment
What's wrong?
I can't do anything am so sick.
Felix you're always sick.
This is for real, I
think I have the swine flu.
We have to go I have yoga
and waxing I can't drive you.
Last time he took me
anywhere you drive me crazy.
Chiropractic.
Chiropractic that's
a word I like it.
Practical.
Cairo practical.
Kids world school.
This cornerstone
academy enrollment now.
Felix you have to take me
can't let me down every week at
Something.
Last week is was hystrectomy.
Medically that can happen this
is different.
Look at you Michael
Jackson on your face.
Yes hack on me, I can hack it.
Fired, fired I'm done I'm fire?
You know what? I quit
-you quit after I fire you.
Don't tell me how to drive.
Out of the way I'm leaving.
But the reverse I'm done.
Good luck.
Bye-bye.
He's coming back.
Get me new driver.
Vitor somebody I don't know.
All right were
gonna try this one.
This is one of my
favorite models.
Ready?
Yeah.
I think I need a
ham sandwich you?
:-) miley miley.
We talked about this you can
keep coming, what the phone
Rows.
Because you are
widening my girls.
Sit down sit down.
I can have you coming back
and inserting this devices.
You are bringing the devil's
work in here with this is not
The devil's work.
It's good clean American fun.
We have many fetishes here
but yours is the weirdest one.
No.
You are, you are.
So I'm not hurting him.
You're hurting
their internal organs.
Like pancreas.
You don't even know
what a pancreas does.
Liver.
People all your livers are shot.
The point is they
need to be tight.
But it's fun for them.
Everything is fun for her
tractor-trailer inside her
Vagina is fun.
I don't use tractor trailers
But your using torpedoes.
It's not natural.
It's huge it's fun you can
keep bringing in sputnik.
I'm not gonna listen
you talk about rockets.
We won.
You won?
When the rockets went
into space, we one you lost.
We didn't lose it was a time
obsessed with winning
He might've been a little while
ago, but neither descending
Into little people.
It doesn't affect me
I'm on disability.
Hi.
Great excited to be here.
You have a nice disposition.
People say I think I
like I know you but nobody does.
Basically I had a
driver and I fired him.
But he kept flaking.
Flicking your teeth he
kept not doing his job.
Shame on him.
I thought you're
saying clicking.
I don't know what that is.
I wouldn't do it to
you, but it's like this.
It hurts.
On the teeth.
-On the teeth?
Already were communicating.
I'm a quick learner.
It's a spectrum.
What kind of skills you have
that would make a good driver.
My reflexes are quick if you
want to slap me I'll show you.
I don't think for
now, I think were okay.
I'll be needing you that 15
hours a day because I need you
On call.
Perfect.
You live nearby?
Not even close, but I
don't mind driving.
I have a gas card.
That's great, I would need to
drive me from places I need my
Waxing appointment.
My yoga things like that.
I only understood little bit of
what you said but whatever you
need.
You have to take me on errands,
you know to waxwings waxing
Vaccines?
I'm taking you for vaccines.
No just to get
waxed my vagina waxed.
You know what I mean
like lady maintenance.
So I don't know if you
know, what we do here.
I'm assuming discrete
pleasures for ladies.
If I was having
discrete pleasures.
I'd have to little zipper
bags for lady products.
And it's not that.
It's not lady products.
It's prostitution.
All right.
I have to be real honest with
you I was not aware that that's
What discrete meant these days.
And I am a little uncomfortable
with it, but I don't judge.
And I do appreciate that you are
discreet about it and you don't
Show it to children.
I do have a 9-year-old son
Boris, but he's in boarding
School right now.
Thank God you sent them away.
You look nervous, maybe
his job isn't right for you.
But let's consider this for a
moment if I were your driver.
I could learn to
accept your behavior.
And I would take you everywhere.
I think you would
have nervous breakdown.
Yeah you're right.
I think you're on the brink.
Right now?
I think so.
Why don't you take car drive
to park
-and come back?
No.
Sir, what is your name.
Randy.
Randy Fogel.
Are you okay?
I hate this city.
Before we start, I
rented a car to get here.
I got this half day rate is
pretty good and I need you to
Reimburse me before I take
that and also to give me a
Little extra for gas money
because it took me so long to
Get over here.
It's like I'm down half a tank.
I haven't hired you yet.
You're here for interview yes?
You don't own the car?
I have to take the car back
It's la it's the worst
traffic in the world.
You're here to be driver yes?
You don't own a car.
I hate driving.
Don't you hate driving?
I do hate driving
Which is why I want
driver that's the point.
I got it.
So you're here to be
driver, but you hate driving.
But you can drive me right?
Yes, I can drive you
why is it so confusing.
Of course, I can drive you it
means that I want to drive you
Can drive you.
You are so miserable.
Why are you so miserable?
I can't stand where I live don't
like la, I don't like driving I
Have this friend he's the guy.
Actually the one guy I hate he's
not a friend he's a pain in my
Ass.
That's what he is a pain in
my ass and he says Randy.
You gotta get out of the house.
He's always pushing
me and I'm a guy
Allowed to stay home on the
Internet
It's fine with me, I do some
daytrading I do some online
Poker I'm perfectly content
being miserable in my own house,
I don't have to get out of
my house to be miserable.
But now it's gonna push
me to it Randy gotta go.
I said okay all gono do this
interview thing we both saw it
As porn links I rented a car.
Randy, but what, what, what,
what simmer down I feel
like I'm
Killing myself this is not the
holocaust you're here for an
Interview.
Okay, sorry, I know
you guys are sensitive.
I'm not sensitive.
It just seems like I studied
all I studied when I grow the
Holocaust.
They keep asking.
Gobles and Hitler
-Himmler and Schindler.
Yeah I know.
The whole list it's tiring.
Hello.
Thank you for being punctual.
Please tell me the
bit about yourself.
I'm already a driver I have 2
sets of twins and am always
Taken them to and fro and in
between I just managed to fit in
A little me time
courses whatever I need to.
I do yoga.
Do you?
Great.
So you know, what we do here?
Not exactly
-we are st. Petersberg House of
discreet pleasure
We have a sex business.
That's fine.
So do you actually do
it or your manager.
I'm both.
I'm an entrepreneur
I've have an empire.
So you have to multitask.
So today we have a hectic
day, just the way you like it.
So we leave now.
You take me to yoga 1st then we
go to waxing and I have to be
Back here by 4 o'clock.
4 o'clock ew.
That's not gonna work.
I have a book club, blook club
actually can you move your 4
O'clock?
If you can move your 4 o'clock
to 3 o'clock that would help
Enormously.
I can't move anything my
clients come it certain times.
This is a big client.
He's coming from very far away.
This is a big book club.
We read the book and
movies coming out.
And I wanted to discuss it
before the movie comes out.
Otherwise I will see the movie
and it will ruin everything.
Of course it would.
It's important to me.
I didn't mean to offend you.
I thought you're coming to
applied for a job to work for
Me.
You're very important, but I
just try to make it all work I
Think we can if we work together
But today we can leave right now
and you can take me to yoga and
Waxing yes?
Yes, that should be fine
if we don't hit any traffic.
If we hit traffic were gonna
have to forgo the waxing because
I do have to get back to pick up
Skylar at karate.
Okay, thank you for your time
I think I'll find something
else.
I just need someone who
can actually drive me.
You just wasted 51/2 minutes of
my time that I can't get back.
Okay.
Thank you.
Eddie
good flight, what's it weigh?
4.65.
What are you doing here?
Edward Cotella
reporting for duty.
Eddie I'm done with it.
I'm clean now have
respectable business.
Street Peters birdhouse this
is in Petersburg street, but I
Found it.
You are messed out I can't deal
with that right now I have a
Crisis I have to get to yoga
and waxing I need a driver.
I'm not high I'm high on life.
I'm ready to drive for you.
You're here for the job?
Yes.
You have a license?
I don't need a license if you
follow the rules they don't stop
You just stay in the lines.
You have that glaze in
your eyes that crazy eye.
Passion.
Crazy is not crazy,
if it's based in love.
Where to get the suit?
Doesn't matter.
Even if I don't want
to I don't have choice.
We for me downstairs
I get you limo hat and we drive.
Downstairs.
For real.
This is not practice
we have to drive and go.
Get the car ready, like
they do get the car Rockford.
Get the car Rockford.
But you gotta say Eddie.
Get the car Eddie.
Edward get the fucking car.
Eddie you're a crazy driver.
But I'm staying in the lane.
But I have to be alive by 4 pm
you can't kill me till then
We have airbags anyway.
I don't see airbags for me.
You can share mine.
What's mine is yours.
Eddie.
You saved the day.
This client likes me, waxen
relaxed and if I'm not he can't
Perform.
I kinda like a hairy and feisty.
I got something to grab onto.
Those days are over, and
I have plans to get to.
After this whole
identity nonsense.
I need all the clients I can
get.
Dl will take care it.
What's dl?
He likes to be an
anonymous it's an acronym.
You can't get an
acronym unless you're rich.
Make a right here.
You have to point.
Okay?
Just help me aim the car.
Hey Svetlana can I
ask you something?
Do we have a chance again?
What we had was passionate,
but it was cracked based and
Anything that is
crack based is fleeting.
Now that's freebase crack base
is it completely different base.
I have a job now, I
didn't have that job then.
You didn't have one yesterday?
Well, I do today at
think we should have a kid.
Ed look at me.
Right.
I'm leaning and.
Watch it.
This car really
handles the slow speeds.
Gosh, you aged
amazingly graceful.
Your smile could
light up a room.
Not just a crack pipe.
You could light up anything.
And as for sitting here in our
silence really focus on what's
Going on on your inside.
Really tune in to what
your body is saying.
Rather than what
your mind wants to say.
Sorry I'm late, Chandler I had
crisis at the house can you move
Over.
I like to be front row?
Sorry keep going.
Just really focus things in
life don't always go as planned.
And you have to be
willing to the back go.
What a day I'm telling you.
Sometimes you have to really
tune into what is going on
Inside.
Big careful of the animal claw
actually actually broke last
Week.
Be prepared his life
throws you curve balls.
If life throws you things you
don't expect and have that not
To rail your whole day.
Your whole week.
Good advice.
And just if anything comes up
with you just take it and blow
Your lips out and release
every little bit of hatred.
Frustration.
Like it's gone.
And really just focus
on what's going on.
On the inside.
Can we do poses.
Can we not do this today?
Do we have to go through this
every week mark, how about we
Just really focus and
be a little less verbal.
Can we do rectal press?
Less verbal.
No mouth.
No communication.
Silence.
Pretend like there's a lavender
bubble around you and chiranda
Conanda, baranda.
It's the cat cow pose.
Everybody get on all fours.
Sounds kinky to me cat cow
doggie style.
Mom stop crying, I can still
get you drugs for friends and
Family now how about that.
I'm not going to be a drug
dealer anymore.
Mom, you're 80 years old, you
should be doing cocaine
Ever not even a party.
Cocaine is not good for
an 80-year-old woman.
Get it out.
Let everything out.
Breathe in.
He just farted.
How can I function if
he just keeps farting.
It smells like
asparagus in here.
Can we please not do this today.
Can we just act
like adults, for once.
Adults hold in the flatulence
every day he's doing this in the
Positions into my face.
How come we have to go
through this every week.
You know class starts at 130
what time are you here today?
I had crisis
might driver abandoned.
It doesn't matter
it's not about you.
Every week, you come in here and
do the same thing and it just
Gets to be a really frustrating.
Chandler, ventilation, becuase
these guys they're vegan
You have to calm down.
Just relax.
You come in here and
it's really frustrating.
It's the pressure of course.
This is the only thing I know
how to do and you make me feel
Like I don't know
how to do it at all.
That's not true your fantastic.
Sit down, sit down, I'll
takeover.
Just go.
Hello everybody.
Hello.
Hi.
Were gonna get out of child's
pose, because this one doesn't
Do anything let's do Ukrainian
scarecrow.
Everybody up and out with the
bussom and the coccyx are
coming.
Let it out.
Mom.
There's no money in
porn for the male stars.
It's just the female they can
get any guy off the street.
And they did.
Eddie?
Driving is gonna be
fine I built for.
Eddie is that you?
Eddie where my bricks?
Where my brick?
Eddie kidding me?
It's good to see you.
How are you?
You know, I walked here today.
Is that why you're so sweaty?
I have to put powder.
Boris made some
designs for me to show you.
This is how I want
my mommy punane.
Look at this one.
Beautiful skill
this one's a heart.
We have to do this.
You like that one?
Let's do this.
What I'd do for my
clients, what tell you.
Those man know, nothing.
Walking down Robertson I havent
walked in 10 years
It's just a street.
It's filthy.
Beautiful job.
You're the Picasso of the
punane just the Boris said.
Svetlana.
Eddie where have you been?
Kind of circling had a
few things going on.
I knew you'd let me down.
Where is your suit?
I traded it that was my get the
job see this my driving suit.
Take your hat we have to go.
Where did you find it he
left it on the sidewalk.
My car is back here.
Eddie?
I'm not walking another foot.
I have sciatica.
Hello Dali nice to see you come
inside mister lama you're right
On time.
I should be a dad.
I'm a provider.
I'm not pregnant look here.
I keep putting it in there.
You want sex later?
You treat me like I'm a clown.
Look at president
Carter he's fantastic.
He has peanuts.
Who's his brother Walnut?
Bobby Carter.
Who's Bobby Carter?
Jimmy's brother.
Look at that look so great.
We talk a lot of
people don't even talk.
The only thing are
good for is cocaine.
Coke and kids
I love you too.
Where is my heroine?
You're my grouper.
I want you to see my
face when I stand inside you.
Love you.
You're the king and I am the
queen this is a cocaine and it's
All good.
The king and queen should be
together, we have the castle we
Can live anywhere.
This is a shopping cart.