Sweetbitter (2018) s01e02 Episode Script

1 TESS: Previously on Sweetbitter Did you come to New York with someone? [CHUCKLES.]
No, I didn't.
That's very brave.
Don't touch anything.
Don't talk to anyone.
Don't do anything unless I tell you to.
Howard made an interesting choice.
Hey, new girl.
You having fun yet? You took this job because you thought it would be easy.
Fast money.
A safe place to wait.
WILL: Simone's a lot of things.
She's not your friend.
[SIRENS BLARING DISTANTLY.]
TESS: Sweet, sour, salty, bitter.
Sweet, sour, salty [RETCHES.]
[COUGHS.]
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC.]
[LAUGHTER.]
MAN: It's very fresh.
Water, 24.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Bread, 29.
Bar needs ice.
- Forwards.
- Not backwards.
Soup spoon, 27.
[MAN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY.]
Restock Sancerre.
- WOMAN: Spill on seven! - Sucio.
Ice? - Have you seen Jerome? - Who? [SCOFFS.]
MAN: Pick up! Fucking faster! - Don't run.
- Still streaky.
ARI: Ten bucks says we're here another hour.
HEATHER: Oh, God, no.
I'm ready to go.
Look at dickface, just blowing on his little cappuccino.
HEATHER: It's not even that hot.
Drink it and fuck off.
NICKY: Of course it's not hot.
You made it.
[ALL CHUCKLE.]
[SOFT, RESONANT MUSIC.]
Hi.
Beautiful flowers.
Howard's wife.
WILL: Would you look at her? - Who? - Simone.
I'm charming 24 hours a day.
She turns it on for five minutes and she makes $1,000 more a night.
You're cut.
Just go get your bus tub, dump it, and clock out.
- [EXHALING.]
Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[SIGHS.]
[EXHALES.]
We don't do that.
[CHUCKLES.]
No, I-I-I know.
God, no, I would never.
I just If you were going to do something disgusting like that, may I suggest doing it privately? Or at least more quickly.
Okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, uh, Howard? I, um I heard that, uh, your wife does the flowers.
And I just think they're so beautiful, and, uh, I thought that since I first walked in here, so You're gonna feel awful when I tell you this.
I don't want you to, but you will anyway.
My wife is deceased.
Orchids were her favorite flower, so they're always in the restaurant.
[QUIETLY.]
Oh, God.
[EXHALES.]
You feel awful.
Y uh, yeah.
Let's move past that.
And let's not eat out of the garbage.
Come.
Thick cut and double fried.
Hint of garlic topped with parsley.
Double potato.
God, this is unreal.
Howard? Welcome to the good life.
- All clear! - [CHEERING.]
MAN: Here's our chef! MAN: Pass me a beer.
[MEN SPEAKING SPANISH.]
Ooh.
- All right, wrap it up.
Hey, hey, don't leave that over there.
- JAKE: I'm not fucking going.
- SIMONE: Of course you are.
- I need you.
- JAKE: You need me? - SIMONE: Mm-hmm.
- JAKE: Oh, then sure.
I'll drive both ways.
You can sleep.
You know, I find your sarcasm boring.
JAKE: You don't fucking listen to me.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Um - I'm not Sorry, I [STAMMERS.]
Do you mind if I I'm - [OBJECTS CLATTER.]
- Oh, shit.
TESS: Uh sorry.
[MELLOW MUSIC.]
Hey.
Uh, can I get this one? TESS: Chicken and rice.
Thank you.
[SIGHS.]
Busy night? Yeah.
Yeah, it felt pretty busy at the place I work at.
It's hard.
[SIGHS.]
- You headed home now? - Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna go home.
Maybe I'll walk.
Can you walk to Williamsburg from here? I'm sure it's possible.
$6.
50.
No.
TESS: No, come on.
It must have fallen [SIGHS.]
I'm sorry, I I left my wallet at work.
I, uh thank you.
- I'll be right back.
- Mm-hmm.
Thanks.
Sorry.
Hi! Could I please get the chicken shawarma with the white sauce? [BLUESY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY.]
ARI: Oh, you drink it, you stock it.
Fuck you, Ari.
ARI: Oh, you've tried, darling.
Get off my bar, you animals.
Especially you, Ari.
Have a seat there, mouthy.
Is it someone's birthday? I have no idea.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's shift drinks.
Happens every night.
It's the owner's way of saying thank you.
Everyone gets one or ten.
[CHUCKLES.]
Sit, Skip.
"Skip"? Skipper.
Barbie's little sister.
Right.
- WOMAN: Nicky! - [SCOFFS.]
HEATHER: But it's embarrassing.
She sits at the bar and bats her eyes.
- And just - ARI: Mm, what can I say? - I'm in love.
- You fucked once.
One time.
Girl, she's already planning their life upstate.
ARI: Oh, my God.
WILL: Wait watch, watch, watch, watch, I-I NICKY: I'll murder you.
I'll murder your entire family.
Spill one drop Aw.
No, Nicky.
I'm a professional.
Get that for me? Hmm? [LAUGHTER.]
MAN: Oh! Hey.
NICKY: I owe you a shot.
What are you having? That vodka? I hate vodka.
Racist bitch.
- NICKY: One more red wine.
- WILL: One SASHA: I'm white wine.
Ooh.
Rosé.
[CHUCKLES.]
NICKY: All right, but that's your last one.
Ah.
NICKY: Get out of here.
I don't care where you go.
These disco idiots.
Fuck.
NICKY: She was talking to that guy and she hoofed it a long time ago.
- MAN: Yeah, yeah.
- WOMAN: I know.
[LAUGHTER.]
WOMAN: Don't forget me.
Don't forget about me.
MAN: What're you talking about? What are you drinking? Uh I [CHUCKLES.]
Nicky, she'll have a Riesling.
Two.
ARI: I don't know about all that.
Oh, shit.
Whoops.
Uh, you look different.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Yeah, well, those stripes don't do much for any of us.
Thanks, babe.
Come on.
MAN: Yo, you going to Home Bar later? - MAN: Yeah.
- [WOMAN LAUGHS.]
- MAN: Right.
Wow.
- [LAUGHTER.]
I'm, uh I'm sorry about before, in the locker room.
[CHUCKLES.]
I didn't mean to interrupt.
You didn't.
[LAUGHS.]
It's, uh it's not a shot.
Uh, no.
[CHUCKLES.]
Of course not.
Slow down.
What do you taste? Is it good? Are you asking the region? Or the grape? Well, the region is Alsace, passed back and forth between France and Germany in every war, and the grape, of course, is Riesling.
But that's not what I was asking.
I simply wanted to know if you liked it.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
I-I do.
It's, um it's quite sweet.
Mmm.
On the front of the tongue.
Every taste has its corresponding area, and that is where we taste sweet.
Salt is the tipping point.
Sour is the sting of food that's alive.
Bitter is poison, although we've cultivated a taste for it.
But sugar sugar was the first addiction.
Sweet, sour, salty, bitter.
Mm-hmm.
Very good.
Now your tongue is coded.
How do you know all of this? [LAUGHS.]
Uh, I guess it's impossible for me to do anything without investing in it.
And besides, it's really fun.
[LAUGHS.]
Do you think we could do this more? Like, these, uh lessons? Not lessons.
Just conversation.
JAKE: Hey.
Come on, let's go.
[WOMAN LAUGHS.]
If you need to go, it's fine.
I don't.
WOMAN: Seven.
- WOMAN: Seven? - MAN: You're on.
- WOMAN: Mm-hmm.
- MAN: I'll meet you there.
NICKY: It's your last one.
[EXHALES.]
They're going to Home Bar.
Don't let it bother you.
It doesn't.
[WOMAN LAUGHS.]
I'm used to being alone.
Me too.
MAN: I'll see you next week, man.
- Good night, changelings.
- WOMAN: Bye.
- MAN: See you tomorrow.
- WOMAN: Good night, Howard.
- Simone.
- WILL: Good night, Howard.
Yes? I have a meeting tomorrow at 3:00.
Can you come in early, go over the reservation book with Becky? - Of course.
- Perfect.
Mm.
You walking home? - I am.
- Can I walk with you? Of course.
Enjoy your evening.
Thank you, Simone.
Good night.
- HOWARD: Nick.
- SIMONE: Good night.
NICKY: Yeah, good night.
[SOFT, RESONANT MUSIC.]
TESS: You don't go to Home Bar? No.
I'm an adult.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, I'm gonna go home get some rest.
[EXHALES.]
Sure Skip.
Sweet, sour salty, bitter.
[DOORS SLAM OPEN.]
Baby Monster.
What the fuck you doing, huh? I need you.
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN.]
- [SPEAKS RUSSIAN.]
- TESS: Huh? - I-I don't understand.
- It's so simple.
Four words.
"Uncle Mark says hi.
" Who is Uncle Mark? Hold it.
Oh, uh sorry.
Shit, my wallet.
I don't [SPEAKING SPANISH.]
Sorry.
Thank you.
GIRL: It's freezing! - You speak Spanish? - Why wouldn't I? - Well, you're Russian.
- I'm everything, honey.
Vivian! Two.
Seriously? No.
She doesn't know her.
Fuck off.
- Uh, I-is this Home Bar? - Yes.
- And everyone is here.
- Oh.
- Evening Grill.
- [MEN SHOUT.]
All the cocaine comes out of there.
Empire Bistro.
Old queens who got fat and have no sphincter muscles left.
Cucina, where they have baby brain pasta or whatever the fuck.
And they whip women.
Mm-hmm.
And that is Sophia, hostess at Cucina.
That beast vagina knows where my wife is.
[LAUGHS.]
Your what? Chug this.
Y-you-you're married? Ginger.
Love of my life.
Paid her 1,000 bucks to marry me for the green card, and she's gone.
[STAMMERS.]
Gone where? That's what you're for.
[SCOFFS.]
What can I do? Just tell Sophia, "Uncle Mark says hi.
" She will love that.
She will think you're a friend of Ginger's.
Then ask where Ginger is, huh? Ginger's your wife? Oh, you brain surgeon.
When I moved here, I ate M&M's for five days and thought, "I'll die and rats will eat my face.
" Now I'm fucking millionaire.
That's why I love America, and I don't want to go back.
Okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
I can do this.
- People talk to me.
- Yes.
- [SMOOCHES.]
- Okay oh! Hey.
How'd you end up here? Um, I'm just helping Sasha with something.
Are you? Uh, yeah.
I am.
You want a drink? Two? TESS: Ugh.
[LAUGHS.]
Bitter.
Or is it sour? Simone got to you.
Mm Simone is great, by the way.
Really.
I mean it's cool you guys you do your own thing.
It's really mature.
I've never seen you smile.
- We're not together.
- Who? Me and her.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
We grew up together.
- Oh.
- She lived next door.
- And where was this? - Cape Cod.
That's cool.
I've never been.
I employed you.
No time to pout lips at baby Jakey.
- Go.
- Okay.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- WOMAN: Oh, yeah, I see that.
Uh, Sophia? Um, you don't know me.
Sorry, I, uh I just moved here.
And it's, uh kind of hard to make friends.
[STAMMERS.]
Really hard, actually.
But, uh I hear that we have a friend in common.
- Is that so? - TESS: Yeah.
Uh, Ginger? And, uh, Uncle Mark.
He, uh he says to say hi.
[LAUGHS.]
[CROWD GASPS.]
I'll kick your fucking head off! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait, wait.
It's her first time here, and she she's an idiot.
- I'm sorry.
- WOMAN: Damn, girl! What the fuck? [PANTS.]
Country Club can take a hit.
TESS: Ah, fuck.
Here, this'll numb it.
Here.
Oh, no.
[CHUCKLES.]
Don't waste my friendship.
Oh.
Not gay? Mm-mm.
Don't think so.
You can't tell by looking.
That's why you always have to check.
[SNIFFS.]
You know, I did coke with Lou Reed once.
[EXHALES, SNIFFS.]
How do I look? Torrid? Like a natural disaster? - Yeah, pretty much.
[SIGHS.]
- Mm, did you see Vivian? - The bartender? - Uh, I-I think I think so.
She's magnificent.
She doesn't read, but I'm willing to overlook it.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Uh, do you do you think I can um, h-have some more? Hey, it's fine.
[SNIFFS.]
Ooh.
That's better.
[CHUCKLES.]
- [SNIFFS.]
- [DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN.]
Baby Monster is my savior.
- TESS: Hey - [SMOOCHING.]
You did it! Area code 480.
Where is it? Uh, Arizona.
Ginger is in Arizona.
So, what what, I w I was a decoy? She was never gonna tell me anything.
Had to get my hands on her shitty phone.
So who is Uncle Mark? That's Sophia's pimp.
[POPS LIPS.]
- From her last life.
- [SNORTS.]
[STAMMERS.]
God, you I would've done it anyway! Don't lie to me, fucking asshole! Ow! [DOOR SQUEAKS SHUT.]
Whoa, slugger, where you headed off to? - I'm going home.
- You don't have to leave.
I know I don't have to.
I want to.
Well, just don't leave until you get something for your your lip there, okay? Hey, Viv, can I get my friend here some ice for her face? And two of what do you what do you like? - I don't know.
- Whiskey, then.
Whis can I get two whiskeys? Thank you, babe.
Come on.
Step into my office.
- This place sucks.
- Yeah, no shit.
- That's not the point.
- [SIGHS.]
- There's a point? - Yeah, our job.
It's hard.
It's not normal.
We spend ten hours saying "Yes, ma'am," "No, sir," "Thank you so much for joining us," "How's everything tasting?" Right? We we make ourselves small so that our guests feel big.
And then we come here and we burn off our shifts, and we can relax.
We can be ourselves.
And you are clearly burning it off.
Cheers.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [EXHALES.]
- [GROUP CHATTERING.]
- Oh, there you are.
- ARI: Yes.
Go.
- Move.
Sasha.
Baby Monster is actual monster.
- She hit me.
- WILL: Oh, you poor thing.
WILL: Here you go.
Poor baby.
ARI: Here she is.
Oh, thanks, Viv.
Keep 'em coming.
If you're gonna hunt straight pussy all night, I'm going home.
I'm telling you, she's the one.
Oh, girl, I need an abacus to keep up with all your "ones.
" - [LAUGHTER.]
- For real.
To Ginger.
ALL: Ginger! I'm going to Arizona, I'm gonna find my wife, and then I'm gonna fuck a cowboy.
- HEATHER: Oh, fuck yes.
- ARI: He better be hot.
- WILL: Have fun with that.
- Oh, my God, I love this song.
- What? - Oh, nothing.
I just I just really like this song.
You like Harry Nilsson? No, I like John Lennon.
Ha-Harry Nilsson co-wrote this with John Lennon, and John Lennon did the backing vocals.
Oh, of course.
She loves the Beatles.
[GROUP SNICKERS.]
John Lennon is not the Beatles.
- What? - TESS: No, I-I trust me.
I-I tried to invite him to my birthday party when I was six.
Dead John Lennon? Yeah, dead John Lennon.
No, uh, my birthday, okay? I my dad didn't believe in birthdays, so I never celebrated, but, um, when I was six, I-I stole a Hallmark card from the grocery store [INHALES.]
And I decorated it all nice.
For hours, actually.
And then I wrote, "To John Lennon," and, uh, I prayed.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah, I-I mean, I-I prayed really fucking hard all night that God would come and deliver the invitation.
And then I left it in a planter so it'd be easier for him to find, and then I woke up in the morning, and there it was.
It was soaking fucking wet, and I [INHALES DEEPLY.]
I cried, actually, 'cause, uh 'cause God wasn't real.
- Could it be? - [SNIFFS.]
- Mount Elga - Well, that was miserable.
I'm gonna slit my wrists right now.
HEATHER: I think we need drinks now.
BECKY: Yeah, like, two rounds, maybe? SCOTT: Have any of you ever snorted gin? BECKY: What? WILL: That's your segue? SASHA: How the fuck do you do that? ARI: I want to fucking do it.
- SASHA: You're gonna do it.
- WILL: Disaster.
Man, you're a disaster.
- [ALL TALKING AT ONCE.]
- No.
No.
No.
- [MEN SPEAKING SPANISH.]
- Thanks.
Fuck.
- [SPEAKING SPANISH.]
- Fuck.
We got it, muñeca.
Kitchen crew's got you covered.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you so much.
I'm new too, so I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah, sure.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Buenas noches.
[VIVIAN MOANING.]
Mm.
[CHUCKLES.]
[PANTS.]
I came back.
I never found my wallet.
- [LAUGHS.]
- It's cold.
[LAUGHING.]
Thank you so much.
TESS: Sweet, sour, salty, bitter.
Sweet, sour, salty, bitter.
Sweet, sour, salty [RETCHES.]
[COUGHS.]
[EXHALES.]
[PANTS.]
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah, New York Yeah, Manhattan Yeah, New York Yeah, Big Apple! Ha! Hey! Giddy up now All right Red hair Pink eyes Ooh, whee! Good-bye Lavender Pink thighs Ohh Yeah, New York Yeah, Manhattan Yeah, New York Yeah, Big Apple