That's My Bush! (2001) s01e02 Episode Script
A Poorly Executed Plan
Maggie! What are you doing? My old buddies from Yale are coming by and I want everything to look - brilliant! - Then you'd better leave.
OK, George.
I've had all the fountains turned on and told the Secret Service to wear their sunglasses.
- Great! - Why do you have to impress them? I'm a Beta Delt, Laura.
I may admit thirty years ago, but I'm always gonna be a Beta Delt! You'll always be a gaywad too, but I don't see you inviting 'N Sync over.
Maggie, you're the housekeeper.
Why do you make sassy remarks to me? Because you can't ever come up with a good comeback.
Yes, I can! I'm just as sassy as you! All righty then, all right.
Let's give it a try.
OK, I'll pitch one in.
Isn't this a huge seat? Yeah, but it goes with the couch.
You're supposed to say: "Yes, it is.
And the chair's big too.
" I know.
Give me another one! Give me another one! - All right, are you ready? - Yeah, I got the comebacks! All right, I'm gonna pitch this one high and slow.
Have you ever seen a more hideous pig? Whore! He's the President in residence He's kind of in charge He's got the whole country saying: That's my Bush! Life is hard, that's the price of fame When you're President, everyone knows your name Hey, what's that thing? It's my Bush! I can't believe he's actually in the White House That's our man! That's my Bush! I know your frat brothers are coming by, but we need to discuss the death penalty.
Death penalty, right.
Can you see this picture of me and Stallone from where you're standing? Yes.
Can we please get some work done? OK, all right.
Capital punishment is high in our agenda because we have - We don't understand! - I said Scared you, didn't we? Georgy! Georgy! Georgy! - What the hell is going on? - They're my frat brothers from Yale! - Jesus Christ.
- We gotcha! You guys.
You haven't changed! - At all! - Hell, no! Wait! So you guys aren't Iraqis? That's right.
I thought I was gonna be drowned in tar.
You can drown in my tar anytime you like! Come on, George, give us a grand tour! It's not wise to have these guys traipsing through the White House.
Just let me show them around.
They'll behave.
Geez Louise, Georgy! Nice pad! Who's the stripper? This is my wife, Laura.
Just kidding.
I've seen you on TV and stuff, "Lulu".
- This is Moose, from my old fraternity.
- Mister Moose.
This is George's first lady! Yeah, right! She wasn't even his first librarian! Laura, this is Thad, Randle, Jonesie and The Wedge.
The Wedge? It certainly has been nice meeting you all.
You'd better get back on the road.
Don't wanna hit that afternoon traffic.
You know what your husband told us back in 1968? - I can't imagine! - He told us that some day, he was gonna become President! It's true! I knew it even then! And he said that when he did become President, all of us could come and stay at the White House as long as we wanted! Hey, guys! I'm not sure I put it exactly that way! - We got it on tape, remember? - You guys, listen up! Someday I'm gonna be President of the United States! When I am, you can all come and stay at the White House as long as you want! Hey, wait a minute.
Where's my pants? "Where's my pants?" We didn't think you'd actually pull it off.
But here we are! Normandy Calgrove, scheduled to be executed at midnight tomorrow, 100 miles east of here.
One less scumbag on earth.
- You should attend this execution.
- Attend? Of all the things people hate you for, your support of the death penalty is #1.
People think you'd change your stance if you actually went to an execution.
- We need to prove them wrong.
- I believe in the death penalty.
If someone commits the act of murder, they must pay the highest price! - Go tell them, Georgy! - That's right! Would you excuse me? Fellas.
Fellas! What I said about when we're in the Oval Office? - Tiny voices.
- Tiny voices.
- If you don't mind.
- Right.
This is a huge opportunity for us.
The press will be taking your picture as you sternly and resolutely attend this execution.
I know, but to see somebody die That doesn't sound very fun.
What's the matter, Georgy? You ain't gone soft, have you? Yeah.
You ain't gone soft, have you, Georgy? Hell, no! I'll attend that execution! All right! I'm gonna pencil the execution into your schedule tomorrow night.
I'd like to schedule your pencil into my execution! Mr.
President, please.
This is a very delicate matter.
"Mr.
President, please.
This is a very delicate matter.
" "Mr.
President, please.
This is a very delicate matter.
" Hey, you try it, Georgy! "Mr.
President, please.
This is a very delicate matter.
" What have I done? I don't wanna go to an execution.
How did I get into this? Because, you were trying to show off to your frat buddies.
They were up all night streaking through the White House and crapping in the Rose Garden.
You have to ask them to leave.
I can't ask them to leave.
They'll think I've become a snob! Maybe they'll be right.
You know, I used to be the biggest partier of that whole pack.
I used to have it all! George, you're the President of the United States! I know.
What do you want? You want me to ask them to leave for you? All right, fine.
I'll be the bad guy, OK? Want some chocolate milk? This place is a pigsty.
Can't you work any faster? How about this: you don't tell me how to do my job, and I won't tell you how to be bald.
- What's on TV? - I want Paige.
Guys, we need to have a little talk with you.
When George said you could all move into the White House, he was a binge drinker.
- What are you saying? - The White House is not a frat house, and though it's been wonderful having you all here it's time to go.
I see.
I guess we understand.
I mean, you folks gotta have your lives.
Thank you.
I'll leave you guys alone now.
Boy, what a bitch, huh? I'll tell what, Georgy.
Just give us one last night out.
We'll have a big DC party tonight! And then we'll get out of your hair.
- Sure! - Yeah! I can't.
You won't even give us one night? Guys, I can't! I have this super-important execution to go to.
- Being President means - Don't bother, Mr.
President! I think I know where we stand now! - Don't be like that.
- Come on, guys.
Better just get our stuff and get out of the President's way.
Fellas! I can't help it! Just remember, one day, all this glitz and glamor is gonna be gone, and all you're gonna have left is your little snot self! - You've changed! - I have not changed! If I could bring you along, I would, but - Bring us along? - That's a great idea! We could have our last big night out, at an execution! What do you say? - We're sorry we doubted you! - Hey, guys! I got a feeling, that this could be our best night out ever! You said it! The Beta Delts are back in the groove, right baby? You cannot have your fraternity brothers accompany you to an execution! You don't understand.
If I go back on them, they'll never speak to me again! I would think that ideal.
Were you ever in a fraternity? Sort of Not exactly the same kind of thing.
Karl, a fraternity is a brotherhood.
We're supposed to have one last night.
I just wanna show them I have not become a pussy snob! The press will be there.
Witnesses and guards if your barking frat buddies behave badly.
And they will.
It's gonna be all our asses! You're gonna have to tell them why they can't go! Wait! I got an idea! That's just the light bulb you were working on.
Dang it.
No, wait! I really do! I have an idea! - A fake execution before the real one! - What you talking about? I'll invite them to the prison two hours before the execution.
We'll hire actors playing the reporters, the guards, the warden and the prisoner! We'll administer fake drugs with fake needles, then we'll get everybody out before the real execution! My God, that might be the worst idea I have ever heard, ever! Just find me some people who can do improv.
We might pull this off! Yeah, and I might shoot a falcon out my ass.
If anybody could it'd be you! And so, that's why we're looking for a group of actors who can stage a phoney execution about five hours from now.
Well, if anyone can improvise, it's Gutbusters! We were voted the #2 comedy troupe in all of Southern Virginia! I don't care.
- Can you fake an execution? - Can we fake an execution? Mark, Dave, go! Help! Please don't execute me! That's funny! - Say goodnight! - And freeze! OK! Now, an execution, but, Dave is singasong bread of Meat Loaf, and Pam is deaf.
Go! I don't wanna die in this electric chair, not with my big fat body and long, long hair! - No way! - We just want it to look real! Real? How's this for real? Pam, you're a prostitute, your leg is broken, and Bob, you're telling her she's got gum stuck in her hair.
Go! You wanna date? Hey, lady! You've got gum stuck in your hair! No, you didn't! - I got it! - Stop it! We don't want improv comedy! You don't? We don't! In fact, improv comedy makes me sick! Because you act like it's totally improvisational when in fact it's formulas that you rehearse over and over again.
And you pretend like you're making it up off the top of your head, then you laugh on stage to make it look real! I hate you! Do you hear me? I said, do you hear me, you sons of bitches? I can't hear you because I'm deaf! - All right.
- That was great! I'll write down the address to the prison and give you directions.
Do the gum thing again! Right.
Right, I understand.
All right, two hours before the actual execution the President wants to have a fake execution.
Exactly.
I got it.
Not with the real prisoner.
Got it.
Improv group.
Got it.
Right.
OK, I'll get right on it.
Leave it to me.
This is the actual table where the prisoner is strapped in and given his injection.
- The drugs used are a mixture - Warden! - He's here.
The President is here! - What, now? It's only ten! Something strange is going on.
All this talk about a second execution? - There's only one execution tonight.
- Only Jenkins knew what was going on, and he's at the hospital with an allergic reaction to peanuts.
His neck swelled up like Come on in, fellas.
Heavy! This is where it's all going down.
I'll give you the best execution! - All right! - Bring in the prisoner! Mr.
President, I believe we're supposed to wait until midnight.
The hell with that! I've got my frat brothers here now, so let's go! I can't let you pass.
The law doesn't say anything about clearance for an improv comedy troupe.
That's what we're saying.
Karl Rove had us over to the White House and asked us to perform a fake execution here.
- Right, gang? - Yeah! Sounds like someone was pulling your leg! This is hopeless! What are we gonna do now? We're just gonna have to improvise! Mark, you're the husband who can't get it up.
Pam, you're a stalker who's a chronic liar, the rest of us are monkeys.
Go! Oh, God, I hate this stuff.
All right! Let's do it! It's traditional for the witnesses to sit behind the glass with the inmate's family.
The hell with that! My buddies are gonna sit ringside! Hey, scum! You ready to die by lethal injection? No, sir! Then maybe you prefer the gas chamber? - Has he gone insane? - God, that smells! Read him his last rites! The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
Screw that! Die like a little bitch! Have your soul sent to hell! Jesus, help me! I was wrong about old Georgy, guys! You're doing a really good job.
Thanks a lot.
Mayor, get me the sheriff! Now get us an emotion and a piece of fruit.
- Regret, kiwi.
- Go! I wish I didn't eat that kiwi! And now I go blood in my weewee! What are you doing? You're supposed to be putting on a fake execution! - What time is it? - Time to die! - Doctor, administer the drugs.
- You give me that! - I'm gonna kill him! - It must be done in order! I know the sequence! First we put in three tablespoons of sodium pentothal.
Oh, mother Mary! - Dear God! - Look at that! How about we use this? Drain cleaner! - Mr.
President - And we do a little dance And - He's dead.
- He's dead! - I kinda wish I hadn't seen that.
- Not as cool as I thought it would be.
Another one bites the dust! - Another one bites the dust! - George! - What? - Can we talk for seven seconds? Me and the guys are gonna take off, but thanks for the big night out.
Great, wasn't it? Maybe we can do this again next year! - You ain't gone soft at all, George! - Not at all! It was so good, Karl! We got the fake reporters, fake guards, the fake prisoner.
- It was just great! - They weren't fake! You were really good, pal.
Here's an extra twenty bucks.
When is that real execution gonna take place? That was the real execution.
No Those are fake drugs! That's a fake needle! That was a real needle! Those were real drugs! You really, really killed that guy! Oh, God! Oh, Jesus! Mr.
President! Can we get a statement, please? - Well, Mr.
President? - Care to explain? Mr.
President! Just get him a bottle.
I'll think of something.
And, safe! That closed our dramatization of how you might think executions happen.
- Dramatization? - Yes.
Chris is fine! Say hi, Chris! There you go.
So, now, of course, you will see how an execution really happens.
Bring in the real prisoner.
- Sir, that was the real prisoner.
- Just get us another one! Get out of the way! Dead man moonwalking! That table is to die for! Ladies and gentlemen The real execution! I can't believe I killed that man.
There, there, sweetie.
He begged for his life, and I farted on him.
I know, George.
Look at it this way: it's no different than that 152 men you put to death in Texas.
You just actually did it yourself this time.
Sweetie, don't you die on me now too.
It was just so easy to execute all those people on death row, because were just numbers to me.
To think one phone call could have stopped all those executions in Texas, but I was busy.
I was busy buying stuff for the house! Like this! This ashtray! It could have been a life! This beret! This terry-cloth robe! And this snow globe! I could have saved another! This, this bag of stuff! George! Stop! Killing is wrong, Laura! Doesn't matter if they're murderers, or parasites, or even French.
It is wrong to take a life! Well, George.
I hate to say it, but this is what you get when you pretend you're something you're not.
You were trying to show off to your frat buddies, to make them think you were still the same old George, when you yourself knew it wasn't true.
I know.
I've changed.
Yeah, you've changed.
But I like the new George! He's grown up! Matured a little bit.
He thinks about consequences.
I like who you've become, George! So should you.
You're the best.
Once again, I should have listened to you to begin with.
Well, George.
At least, you'll remember that until the next time you screw up.
Laura, one of these days, I'm gonna punch you in the face! Please don't kill me That needle really hurts! - It's the governor! - Pardon? I said, it's the governor! You guys, it burns.
- George Burns? - Goodnight, Gracie! - No, I think I'm dying.
- No, we're killing.
And freeze! SouthParkNews.
net
OK, George.
I've had all the fountains turned on and told the Secret Service to wear their sunglasses.
- Great! - Why do you have to impress them? I'm a Beta Delt, Laura.
I may admit thirty years ago, but I'm always gonna be a Beta Delt! You'll always be a gaywad too, but I don't see you inviting 'N Sync over.
Maggie, you're the housekeeper.
Why do you make sassy remarks to me? Because you can't ever come up with a good comeback.
Yes, I can! I'm just as sassy as you! All righty then, all right.
Let's give it a try.
OK, I'll pitch one in.
Isn't this a huge seat? Yeah, but it goes with the couch.
You're supposed to say: "Yes, it is.
And the chair's big too.
" I know.
Give me another one! Give me another one! - All right, are you ready? - Yeah, I got the comebacks! All right, I'm gonna pitch this one high and slow.
Have you ever seen a more hideous pig? Whore! He's the President in residence He's kind of in charge He's got the whole country saying: That's my Bush! Life is hard, that's the price of fame When you're President, everyone knows your name Hey, what's that thing? It's my Bush! I can't believe he's actually in the White House That's our man! That's my Bush! I know your frat brothers are coming by, but we need to discuss the death penalty.
Death penalty, right.
Can you see this picture of me and Stallone from where you're standing? Yes.
Can we please get some work done? OK, all right.
Capital punishment is high in our agenda because we have - We don't understand! - I said Scared you, didn't we? Georgy! Georgy! Georgy! - What the hell is going on? - They're my frat brothers from Yale! - Jesus Christ.
- We gotcha! You guys.
You haven't changed! - At all! - Hell, no! Wait! So you guys aren't Iraqis? That's right.
I thought I was gonna be drowned in tar.
You can drown in my tar anytime you like! Come on, George, give us a grand tour! It's not wise to have these guys traipsing through the White House.
Just let me show them around.
They'll behave.
Geez Louise, Georgy! Nice pad! Who's the stripper? This is my wife, Laura.
Just kidding.
I've seen you on TV and stuff, "Lulu".
- This is Moose, from my old fraternity.
- Mister Moose.
This is George's first lady! Yeah, right! She wasn't even his first librarian! Laura, this is Thad, Randle, Jonesie and The Wedge.
The Wedge? It certainly has been nice meeting you all.
You'd better get back on the road.
Don't wanna hit that afternoon traffic.
You know what your husband told us back in 1968? - I can't imagine! - He told us that some day, he was gonna become President! It's true! I knew it even then! And he said that when he did become President, all of us could come and stay at the White House as long as we wanted! Hey, guys! I'm not sure I put it exactly that way! - We got it on tape, remember? - You guys, listen up! Someday I'm gonna be President of the United States! When I am, you can all come and stay at the White House as long as you want! Hey, wait a minute.
Where's my pants? "Where's my pants?" We didn't think you'd actually pull it off.
But here we are! Normandy Calgrove, scheduled to be executed at midnight tomorrow, 100 miles east of here.
One less scumbag on earth.
- You should attend this execution.
- Attend? Of all the things people hate you for, your support of the death penalty is #1.
People think you'd change your stance if you actually went to an execution.
- We need to prove them wrong.
- I believe in the death penalty.
If someone commits the act of murder, they must pay the highest price! - Go tell them, Georgy! - That's right! Would you excuse me? Fellas.
Fellas! What I said about when we're in the Oval Office? - Tiny voices.
- Tiny voices.
- If you don't mind.
- Right.
This is a huge opportunity for us.
The press will be taking your picture as you sternly and resolutely attend this execution.
I know, but to see somebody die That doesn't sound very fun.
What's the matter, Georgy? You ain't gone soft, have you? Yeah.
You ain't gone soft, have you, Georgy? Hell, no! I'll attend that execution! All right! I'm gonna pencil the execution into your schedule tomorrow night.
I'd like to schedule your pencil into my execution! Mr.
President, please.
This is a very delicate matter.
"Mr.
President, please.
This is a very delicate matter.
" "Mr.
President, please.
This is a very delicate matter.
" Hey, you try it, Georgy! "Mr.
President, please.
This is a very delicate matter.
" What have I done? I don't wanna go to an execution.
How did I get into this? Because, you were trying to show off to your frat buddies.
They were up all night streaking through the White House and crapping in the Rose Garden.
You have to ask them to leave.
I can't ask them to leave.
They'll think I've become a snob! Maybe they'll be right.
You know, I used to be the biggest partier of that whole pack.
I used to have it all! George, you're the President of the United States! I know.
What do you want? You want me to ask them to leave for you? All right, fine.
I'll be the bad guy, OK? Want some chocolate milk? This place is a pigsty.
Can't you work any faster? How about this: you don't tell me how to do my job, and I won't tell you how to be bald.
- What's on TV? - I want Paige.
Guys, we need to have a little talk with you.
When George said you could all move into the White House, he was a binge drinker.
- What are you saying? - The White House is not a frat house, and though it's been wonderful having you all here it's time to go.
I see.
I guess we understand.
I mean, you folks gotta have your lives.
Thank you.
I'll leave you guys alone now.
Boy, what a bitch, huh? I'll tell what, Georgy.
Just give us one last night out.
We'll have a big DC party tonight! And then we'll get out of your hair.
- Sure! - Yeah! I can't.
You won't even give us one night? Guys, I can't! I have this super-important execution to go to.
- Being President means - Don't bother, Mr.
President! I think I know where we stand now! - Don't be like that.
- Come on, guys.
Better just get our stuff and get out of the President's way.
Fellas! I can't help it! Just remember, one day, all this glitz and glamor is gonna be gone, and all you're gonna have left is your little snot self! - You've changed! - I have not changed! If I could bring you along, I would, but - Bring us along? - That's a great idea! We could have our last big night out, at an execution! What do you say? - We're sorry we doubted you! - Hey, guys! I got a feeling, that this could be our best night out ever! You said it! The Beta Delts are back in the groove, right baby? You cannot have your fraternity brothers accompany you to an execution! You don't understand.
If I go back on them, they'll never speak to me again! I would think that ideal.
Were you ever in a fraternity? Sort of Not exactly the same kind of thing.
Karl, a fraternity is a brotherhood.
We're supposed to have one last night.
I just wanna show them I have not become a pussy snob! The press will be there.
Witnesses and guards if your barking frat buddies behave badly.
And they will.
It's gonna be all our asses! You're gonna have to tell them why they can't go! Wait! I got an idea! That's just the light bulb you were working on.
Dang it.
No, wait! I really do! I have an idea! - A fake execution before the real one! - What you talking about? I'll invite them to the prison two hours before the execution.
We'll hire actors playing the reporters, the guards, the warden and the prisoner! We'll administer fake drugs with fake needles, then we'll get everybody out before the real execution! My God, that might be the worst idea I have ever heard, ever! Just find me some people who can do improv.
We might pull this off! Yeah, and I might shoot a falcon out my ass.
If anybody could it'd be you! And so, that's why we're looking for a group of actors who can stage a phoney execution about five hours from now.
Well, if anyone can improvise, it's Gutbusters! We were voted the #2 comedy troupe in all of Southern Virginia! I don't care.
- Can you fake an execution? - Can we fake an execution? Mark, Dave, go! Help! Please don't execute me! That's funny! - Say goodnight! - And freeze! OK! Now, an execution, but, Dave is singasong bread of Meat Loaf, and Pam is deaf.
Go! I don't wanna die in this electric chair, not with my big fat body and long, long hair! - No way! - We just want it to look real! Real? How's this for real? Pam, you're a prostitute, your leg is broken, and Bob, you're telling her she's got gum stuck in her hair.
Go! You wanna date? Hey, lady! You've got gum stuck in your hair! No, you didn't! - I got it! - Stop it! We don't want improv comedy! You don't? We don't! In fact, improv comedy makes me sick! Because you act like it's totally improvisational when in fact it's formulas that you rehearse over and over again.
And you pretend like you're making it up off the top of your head, then you laugh on stage to make it look real! I hate you! Do you hear me? I said, do you hear me, you sons of bitches? I can't hear you because I'm deaf! - All right.
- That was great! I'll write down the address to the prison and give you directions.
Do the gum thing again! Right.
Right, I understand.
All right, two hours before the actual execution the President wants to have a fake execution.
Exactly.
I got it.
Not with the real prisoner.
Got it.
Improv group.
Got it.
Right.
OK, I'll get right on it.
Leave it to me.
This is the actual table where the prisoner is strapped in and given his injection.
- The drugs used are a mixture - Warden! - He's here.
The President is here! - What, now? It's only ten! Something strange is going on.
All this talk about a second execution? - There's only one execution tonight.
- Only Jenkins knew what was going on, and he's at the hospital with an allergic reaction to peanuts.
His neck swelled up like Come on in, fellas.
Heavy! This is where it's all going down.
I'll give you the best execution! - All right! - Bring in the prisoner! Mr.
President, I believe we're supposed to wait until midnight.
The hell with that! I've got my frat brothers here now, so let's go! I can't let you pass.
The law doesn't say anything about clearance for an improv comedy troupe.
That's what we're saying.
Karl Rove had us over to the White House and asked us to perform a fake execution here.
- Right, gang? - Yeah! Sounds like someone was pulling your leg! This is hopeless! What are we gonna do now? We're just gonna have to improvise! Mark, you're the husband who can't get it up.
Pam, you're a stalker who's a chronic liar, the rest of us are monkeys.
Go! Oh, God, I hate this stuff.
All right! Let's do it! It's traditional for the witnesses to sit behind the glass with the inmate's family.
The hell with that! My buddies are gonna sit ringside! Hey, scum! You ready to die by lethal injection? No, sir! Then maybe you prefer the gas chamber? - Has he gone insane? - God, that smells! Read him his last rites! The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
Screw that! Die like a little bitch! Have your soul sent to hell! Jesus, help me! I was wrong about old Georgy, guys! You're doing a really good job.
Thanks a lot.
Mayor, get me the sheriff! Now get us an emotion and a piece of fruit.
- Regret, kiwi.
- Go! I wish I didn't eat that kiwi! And now I go blood in my weewee! What are you doing? You're supposed to be putting on a fake execution! - What time is it? - Time to die! - Doctor, administer the drugs.
- You give me that! - I'm gonna kill him! - It must be done in order! I know the sequence! First we put in three tablespoons of sodium pentothal.
Oh, mother Mary! - Dear God! - Look at that! How about we use this? Drain cleaner! - Mr.
President - And we do a little dance And - He's dead.
- He's dead! - I kinda wish I hadn't seen that.
- Not as cool as I thought it would be.
Another one bites the dust! - Another one bites the dust! - George! - What? - Can we talk for seven seconds? Me and the guys are gonna take off, but thanks for the big night out.
Great, wasn't it? Maybe we can do this again next year! - You ain't gone soft at all, George! - Not at all! It was so good, Karl! We got the fake reporters, fake guards, the fake prisoner.
- It was just great! - They weren't fake! You were really good, pal.
Here's an extra twenty bucks.
When is that real execution gonna take place? That was the real execution.
No Those are fake drugs! That's a fake needle! That was a real needle! Those were real drugs! You really, really killed that guy! Oh, God! Oh, Jesus! Mr.
President! Can we get a statement, please? - Well, Mr.
President? - Care to explain? Mr.
President! Just get him a bottle.
I'll think of something.
And, safe! That closed our dramatization of how you might think executions happen.
- Dramatization? - Yes.
Chris is fine! Say hi, Chris! There you go.
So, now, of course, you will see how an execution really happens.
Bring in the real prisoner.
- Sir, that was the real prisoner.
- Just get us another one! Get out of the way! Dead man moonwalking! That table is to die for! Ladies and gentlemen The real execution! I can't believe I killed that man.
There, there, sweetie.
He begged for his life, and I farted on him.
I know, George.
Look at it this way: it's no different than that 152 men you put to death in Texas.
You just actually did it yourself this time.
Sweetie, don't you die on me now too.
It was just so easy to execute all those people on death row, because were just numbers to me.
To think one phone call could have stopped all those executions in Texas, but I was busy.
I was busy buying stuff for the house! Like this! This ashtray! It could have been a life! This beret! This terry-cloth robe! And this snow globe! I could have saved another! This, this bag of stuff! George! Stop! Killing is wrong, Laura! Doesn't matter if they're murderers, or parasites, or even French.
It is wrong to take a life! Well, George.
I hate to say it, but this is what you get when you pretend you're something you're not.
You were trying to show off to your frat buddies, to make them think you were still the same old George, when you yourself knew it wasn't true.
I know.
I've changed.
Yeah, you've changed.
But I like the new George! He's grown up! Matured a little bit.
He thinks about consequences.
I like who you've become, George! So should you.
You're the best.
Once again, I should have listened to you to begin with.
Well, George.
At least, you'll remember that until the next time you screw up.
Laura, one of these days, I'm gonna punch you in the face! Please don't kill me That needle really hurts! - It's the governor! - Pardon? I said, it's the governor! You guys, it burns.
- George Burns? - Goodnight, Gracie! - No, I think I'm dying.
- No, we're killing.
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