The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan (1972) s01e02 Episode Script

1
[theme music plays]
The Amazing Chan
[buzzes]
[buzzing]
[buzzing]
[buzzing]
That's the Chan Clan
The Amazing Chan
and the Chan Clan
The Amazing Chan
[announcer] It's two down two
on in the last of the ninth.
And coming in to pinch hit for
Scott Bradley is Boo Blue.
[crowd cheers]
Aw, it's not fair, I wanted to
see the World Series too.
But Pop could only
get six tickets.
Well, why should he
only send boys?
That's discrimination.
Oh, Anne, when are you going to
stop being such a tomboy?
- We women have our rights!
- [crashing]
Are you all right, Nancy?
I'm OK, but I broke my sandwich.
Come on Blue, get a piece of it!
[crowd cheers]
I got it!
I got it!
Good catch, Scooter!
Look it, Pop, look!
Can I get it autographed?
Certainly, you run along.
- I'll see you back at the car.
- Right on!
Come on, slow pokes,
shake a leg.
We're going to meet Boo Blue.
Scooter, it's a fair presumption
that Boo Blue has already left
the premises by this time.
Tom's right, Scooter.
It's pretty late.
But his car is still here.
Well maybe
[Stanley] Hey, isn't that
Jojo Maggio?
- It sure is.
- [Stanley] What's he doing with
Boo's car?
Scooter, Boo must've
gone out another way.
Nuh-uh, I'll bet he didn't.
I'll bet he's still in there.
Scooter's right,
here he comes now.
Can I have your autograph,
Mr. Blue?
Sure thing son.
What's your name?
- Beat it kid.
- Hey!
Mr. Blue ain't got no time for
autographs, right, Boo?
Uh right, you better
go home son.
Hey, what about my ball?
Oh sure. Sorry.
Thanks Mr. Blue.
Wow, how would you like to be in
the same cage with those
gorillas?
Not unless I had a
bunch of bananas.
I'd like to run their
mugshot through RNI.
Bet they got rap sheets
as long as your arm.
Well, this appears to have
ended in a fiasco.
Let's go home.
Super sleuth
- Ooh, I am a super sleuth
- [phone rings]
Oh, Henry
Yes
Hello, Chan residence?
Who's calling please?
Who?
Yes, sir. Pop, you won't
believe who's calling!
I promise you, I'll believe it
if you tell me.
The manager of the Nationals,
Jojo Maggio.
Hold it down you guys.
Mr. Maggio, this is Chan.
Yes, of course.
In 10 minutes.
Come on, Pop, give us the poop.
It's not the best of news.
Boo Blue has disappeared.
[both exclaim]
It was a snatch, Pop.
Those two hoods were putting the
arm on Boo.
The K-I-D-S is right,
Boo was being kidnapped.
The way they hustled him into
that Acme Warehouse van
we should've caught on.
I have often warned you about
jumping to conclusions.
Boo Blue has merely been
reported as missing.
Well, sure, that's why
he's missing,
because he was kidnapped.
I say we oughta do something.
And I say please restrain
yourselves
until I get more information.
Come on Henry, let's go.
You heard Pop,
we need more information.
We don't need more information,
we can have Boo out of that
warehouse in a one, and a two,
- and a three.
- [crashes]
What are you doing?
- Nothing, Henry.
- Well, don't do it again.
- What's Henry mad at?
- I don't know.
All I did was a one, and a two,
and a three.
[crashing]
You oughta be
more careful, Henry.
You're gonna hurt yourself.
Are you sure it's the
Acme Warehouse?
- Indubitably.
- Does that mean yes?
- Yes!
- Then what are we waiting for?
Well, Tom and I are
going down there.
Hold it, buddy.
If you go, I go.
[Flip] I figure we can crack
that warehouse like a piggybank.
Can we crack my piggybank, Flip?
I want to buy a new glove.
Don't you dare touch that money,
Scooter Chan.
It's for your education.
You better quit telling
me what to do.
- Stop that, both of you.
- Yeah, knock it off.
We got a caper to pull.
[Chan] "Do not pitch tomorrow
or else!"
When Boo found that note in his
locker, we decided to take the
precautions I told you about.
- And?
- Something seems to have gone
wrong.
Listen.
Bossman to Boo One.
Bossman to Boo One.
Come in Boo One.
Boo's not in his hideout.
I'm afraid he might've been
kidnapped.
Kidnapped?
May I use your phone please?
Of course.
[phone rings]
There seems to be no one
at home at my house.
Acme Warehouse, this has gotta
be the hideout.
I'll see if anyone's home.
All right. All right.
We gotta bust in
without scaring them away.
Couldn't we just ring the bell?
Boy, Nance, it sure is hard work
trying to make a detective
out of you.
Everybody, use a
modicum of caution.
I'm going as fast as I can.
- He said be careful.
- [Anne] Hey, over here!
Over here!
Dig that crazy slide.
Here we go. Follow me.
[Suzie] That's groovy.
Let's do it again.
- Shh!
- What?
I hear something.
Hide.
[all groan]
- [Anne] Get off my feet.
- [Alan] I'm hung up.
- [Anne] Watch those edges.
- [Tom] They'll see us.
Turn the box over!
- [Anne] Get off my feet!
- [Alan] Don't push!
Everything checks out.
10-4.
Follow me.
[Tom] It would appear the
intruders left the immediate
vicinity.
[Anne] Let's go!
- [Suzie] Oops!
- [Alan] Hey, watch it.
- Signal for a stop, would ya?
- [beeping]
[Suzie] Who's dragging
this thing anyway?
[Anne] I'll take over from here.
About face.
Forward march.
Yikes!
Halt! Back!
Everybody back!
Now, listen, Stan
What are you doing in that
ridiculous circus outfit?
You won't think it's so
ridiculous when it saves us.
And just what is it going to
save us from?
Those two gorillas. If they find
us, I'll tell them my lion
escaped.
That'll scare the pants off 'em.
Oh, brother.
Well, come on.
[rumbling]
- Oof! What's the matter?
- Shh!
I thought I heard somebody
following us.
It's your imagination.
There's nobody here, see?
I must be hearing things.
[man] Your deal.
Is it contagious?
- Is what contagious?
- Hearing things.
I think I caught it from ya.
[Boo] You can't get away with
this for very long, you know?
[man] We don't need very long.
[man 2] Just 'til tomorrow.
Right after the Nationals lose
the World Series.
- [laughing] Right, Art?
- Right. Gin.
Now, what would Pop do
in a spot like this?
I got an idea. Suppose I
disguise myself as a movie star.
Will you cut that out?
All right, if you're so smart,
what's your idea?
I'm thinking.
I'm thinking.
We don't need thinking,
we need help.
[Tom] Then we have arrived at
precisely the right moment.
[stammers] What?
Tom?
[Suzie] Who else sounds like he
ate a dictionary for breakfast?
- Suzie?
- [Anne] We're all here.
- [Stanley] Where?
- [Chu-Chu barks]
[Anne] In the crates, dum-dum.
[Flip] How about we can the
chatter and figure out how to
spring Boo.
- [Suzie] Flip?
- Let's not start that again.
- The whole Chan Clan is here?
- All except Pop.
And won't he be surprised when
we rescue Mr. Blue.
Yeah, but how?
Gin.
Again?
There's something funny about
the way you keep ginning me.
Count 'em up.
[Scooter] Mr. Blue, Mr. Blue.
Can you hear me?
- Is that you talking to me?
- Uh-huh.
Go away, I don't talk to boxes.
Hey, who you talkin' to?
Who me? Uh the box.
Hey, Flip, how'd that
box get in here?
It walked in, how else?
Come on will ya, deal.
Psst
Who are you?
Scooter Chan, remember me?
I almost got your autograph
this afternoon.
This is no time for autographs,
get lost.
We're going to save you,
Mr. Blue.
Wait a minute, listen,
I don't want to be saved.
[whirring]
Take it away!
- Stop it! Leave me alone!
- Hey!
Help!
Here they come, Annie.
[Scooter] Tally-ho!
Contact!
Charge!
[Chu-Chu barks]
Hey, we've been invaded.
By boxes!
Gain way!
[radio static]
We interrupt this program to
bring you a report from our
special correspondent.
Every available patrol car in
the city is closing in on the
Acme Warehouse
in an attempt to capture two
desperate criminals who today
kidnapped Boo Blue.
[imitates siren]
- Let's get out of here.
- And fast.
- Which way?
- Down
Too bad. Those thugs managed to
extricate themselves from our
grasp.
Well, anyway, we saved Boo Blue.
Saved nothing, you kids really
messed things up.
I'm not Boo Blue.
[all] Not Boo Blue?
- [all] Not Boo Blue?
- [yelps]
No, he is not Boo Blue, he was
impersonating Boo
to confuse any
would-be kidnappers.
Oh boy, we blew his cover.
I'm afraid that's
exactly what you did.
We're sorry we goofed,
Mr. Maggio.
But, we're glad the
real Boo is safe.
That's just it.
We're not sure he is.
Bossman to Boo One.
Come in, Boo One.
No answer.
Now, I'm really worried.
If the real Boo is missing,
why are we sitting here, Pop?
Let's get out an APB.
You've all had your fun. Now, to
borrow a baseball expression,
it's my turn to bat.
Gee Pop, couldn't we just tag
along as pinch hitters maybe?
Only if you remain on the bench.
Boy, I didn't think Pop really
meant on the bench.
I had my secretary fix Boo a
room here in the stadium.
A perfect hideout until
the game tomorrow.
- It's got everything.
- Except Boo Blue.
- And not a clue to where he is.
- Perhaps a small clue.
That walkie talkie disassembled
and in the waste basket.
Two batteries.
Sure, they must've gone dead.
But where's Boo?
- Hmm
- Find something Mr. Chan?
Would you ask your secretary to
come to the stadium at once,
please?
Sure thing.
Boy, this is no fun.
Where do you think Pop is,
Henry?
Well, if I were in his shoes,
I
Hey, the two hoods.
You numbskulls!
How could you grab
the wrong man?
I told you he didn't
leave the park.
Gee, Mr. Flynn, he looked like
Boo, so we thought maybe
You don't know how to think
so stop trying.
Just do what I tell ya.
All right, he's gotta
be here someplace.
So we split up and we find him.
You two look down below,
I'll look up here.
We'd better find Boo before
those other guys do.
Hello, is this the residence of
Charles Jones?
Who?
Oh, I'm sorry,
please forgive me.
Charles Jones got anything to do
with Boo, Mr. Chan?
Charles Jones is a
figment of my imagination.
Huh?
When will your secretary be
here, Mr. Maggio?
She's due any time now.
No. Nobody in here.
Boy, that was close.
Let's move it, troops.
We still gotta find Boo.
[all] Geronimo!
Nothing.
Hey, kids, he's gone.
[whistles loudly]
OK, you two.
Time's a wastin'.
Let's go!
Gotta be here someplace.
[coughing]
Ah, the whole thing's
getting to me.
Want some relish to go with
those hot dogs, Henry?
I don't see what you're talking
about, Mr. Chan.
I'm sorry.
Perhaps a little
pencil shading might help.
There as you can see it's the
impression of what was written
on the previous page.
Oh, yeah, I see it now.
That number at the top,
did you write it?
- No, of course not.
- And those little squiggles?
That's shorthand,
let me read it.
"I was born on
September 14, 1946,
in a little"
Hmm that's all there is.
- Boo's pencil must've broken.
- Boo's pencil?
Of course, did you think
I wrote that?
Boo could do all that stuff,
shorthand, typing,
he was a college boy.
I see
I gotta find that Boo Blue,
or my name is mud.
- [barks]
- Keep it down!
[yelps]
Now you did it, Nancy.
[barking]
The invisible man!
[continues barking]
All right, get out of there,
you clowns.
[groans]
Charge!
It's the cavalry!
Scram!
[both] Charge!
- Here they come.
- We gotta stop them!
- That pail of baseballs!
- Good thinking!
- [Alan sings Charge]
- Charge!
Hurry it up, Tom.
[grunting, groaning]
[crashing]
Would you creeps mind
getting off me?
That goes for you too.
Are you going to win the series
today, Mr. Blue?
We're not only going to win it,
Scooter, we're going to win it
just for you.
Yeah, like this. Watch!
[Flip] Hey, Anne, don't you know
this is a man's game?
[barks]
I'm hungry, when do they
take a commercial break?
How did you know my secretary
was mixed up with those other
gamblers, Mr. Chan?
That number I called on Ms.
Buckley's pad, it was Mr.
Flynn's number.
And it was written in a women's
handwriting.
Too bad, I'll miss her.
She was a good typist.
[announcer] And now, ladies
and gentlemen,
a pre-game treat, courtesy of
Mr. Boo Blue.
The Chan Clan!
[funk music plays]
Henry Chan
Anywhere you go
I'll find you
Turn around
I'm right behind you
How many times
must I remind you
I am a super sleuth