The Baby-Sitters Club (2020) s01e02 Episode Script


I'm a M-M-Molotov ♪
I'ma get this whole party all ♪
Watch me now ♪
CLAUDIA: I'm good at a lot of things.
Yes!
For example, fashion.
And babysitting.
I'm really good at babysitting.
But most of all, I'm good at art.
Great, actually.
There's no homework in art class,
no tests.
When I'm painting or sculpting,
all the little voices telling me
what I should be doing
and who I'm supposed to bego away.
That's really nice.
CLAUDIA: OMG, Trevor Sandbourne.
Be cool, Claudia. Breathe.
It's got kind of an Elizabeth Peyton vibe.
You know her work?
She and my dad used to show together
at the Chelsea Hotel back in the '90s.
Wow. I mean
Cool. That's cool.
It's hard to get that kind of translucency
with the oils, but
you nailed it.
I like your piece.
What's it about?
Same as yours.
It's a self-portrait.
- CLAUDIA: Abstract.
- Yeah.
So, did you hear about this dance thing
on Friday night?
- The Halloween Hop? [SIGHS]
- Yeah.
You going?
[MOUTHS]
[LAUGHS]
Yes. I mean
No.
I mean, I haven't decided.
Cool.
Maybe I'll see you there.
[LAUGHING]
Did he ask you to the dance or not?
CLAUDIA: Kristy Thomas is also good
at a lot of stuff.
Well?
CLAUDIA: Unfortunately,
subtlety is not among her many talents.
He asked me if I was going
and said he'd see me there.
So he basically asked me.
We'll be there together
- basically.
- STACEY: Here's the thing.
A guy like Trevor Sandbourne isn't gonna,
like,
show up at your door with a corsage.
That's just not the way things are done
in his kind of circles.
Which are what, exactly?
Sophisticated circles.
Artistic circles.
Are you gonna wear a costume?
I was gonna be a Troll doll,
but for Trevor,
I might have to think of something
a little more soigné.
- Totally.
- Seriously?
You're gonna get all dressed up
for some dude
who couldn't even be bothered
to ask you out for real?
Kristy, I don't want to look like a baby.
What's babyish is this stupid dance,
giving boys yet another way
to be disappointing,
setting up girls for a lifetime
of making excuses for them.
I wouldn't go if you paid me.
What about you, Mary Anne?
That cute boy Logan might be there.
The one you're always staring at
who volunteers at the library?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Anyway, there's no way
my dad would ever let me go.
He's been spinning out enough lately
about the Phantom Caller.
What's that?
Some weirdo home invader that was
on the news.
Apparently, you get these creepy
anonymous phone calls.
Then, you realize that the calls
were coming from inside the house.
- [PHONE RINGING]
- He heard us! The Phantom Caller.
Hello, Baby-Sitters Club.
Oh, hey, honey. Watson and I are going to
a Halloween party on Friday night,
and we need a sitter for Karen and Andrew.
Hold, please.
- [BEEPS]
- Watson needs a sitter on Friday.
But that's the night of the dance.
Yeah, we're definitely going.
Kristy.
This is, like, the seventh time
since the club has started
that your mom or Watson
has called in with a job.
You're the only one who hasn't gone,
and you're the only one
they actually want.
[BEEPS]
Mary Anne Spier will be your sitter
on Friday.
Have a wonderful day.
[SIGHS]
So does that mean you're going to
the Halloween Hop after all?
I'd rather have head lice again.
You get head lice a lot.
Another thing I'm pretty good at
is cooking.
I do it a lot with my Grandma Mimi.
She's taught me a lot.
The carrots, please, my Claudia.
CLAUDIA: Mimi is the best person I know
at everything.
I think it's because whatever she does,
she does it with so much love.
Now we let it simmer,
and you can tell me more about this boy.
Trevor. He's so cute.
He makes these abstract pieces
that are just
[SIGHS] And his dad is this
really famous painter,
and he knows all these art world people.
Wouldn't that be amazing
to have parents
that actually understood you?
My Claudia.
Nobody at your age feels like
their parents understand them.
Grandparents, on the other hand
[LAUGHS]
I like him so much,
and I really do think he likes me.
Stacey says he does.
What do you think?
I think if this boy's not crazy about you,
my Claudia,
he must be completely
out of his mind. [LAUGHS]
How are your other classes going?
You mean besides art? Um
We thought this year
was going to be different.
Middle school was supposed
to be a clean slate for you, Claudia,
a blank page.
We just want to help you, honey.
I don't need help, Mom.
I'm not even actually failing anything.
Your algebra teacher called
this afternoon.
She wanted to make sure you were
prepared for the unit quiz tomorrow.
Claudia
You need to start taking school seriously
this year.
This isn't elementary school anymore.
Your grades are going
on your permanent transcript.
Don't you want to get into a good college?
CLAUDIA: My parents and I
have had some version
of this conversation
since the second grade.
With all the things I can do,
the only thing they care about
is the one thing I can't.
- May I make a suggestion?
- Of course, Janine.
I've just read a recent behavioral study
in Psychology Today, which found that
its subjects were more motivated
to specific action by the fear of loss
and the hope of gain.
Get to the point, Janine.
At the meeting
of Claudia's caregiving circle earlier,
I overheard her plans to attend the dance
as the informal partner
of a male classmate.
Trevor, I believe?
[SCOFFS]
You were spying on me?
I misplaced my noise-canceling headphones.
My proposal is this.
If she gets a good grade,
she goes to the dance.
If she fails, she can't.
FATHER: I love it.
Thank you, Janine, for being
so goal-orientated and constructive.
CLAUDIA: Thank you, Janine,
for beingthe walking encyclopedia
that ruined my life.
But I wasn't the only one in
for a surprise that night.
Hello.
Dad?
Dad.
Why are you sitting in the dark?
- Do you have any idea what time it is?
- Um
8:20.
Hmm. And what time were you
supposed to be home?
Eight.
Dad, it's 20 minutes.
Do you know what can happen in 20 minutes?
You could have been hit by a car,
lured into a car.
That home invader
The Phantom Caller?
is still at large in Fairfield County.
But you couldn't bother to call
and let me know that you were alive.
I'm sorry.
[EXHALES]
I accept your apology.
But honestly, I don't see the point
of you having that fancy new phone
you begged for
if you're not going to use it responsibly.
No, Dad, you can't take my phone away.
How am I supposed to call you, then?
What if there's an emergency?
I thought of that.
And the good news is
your old phone works perfectly well.
- It's all programmed and ready for you.
- [SIGHS]
CLAUDIA: I stayed up half the night
studying quadratic equations,
whatever those are.
And I wore a special smart outfit:
Ruth Bader Ginsburg chic.
Super cute.
Look, Claud, you almost got it.
You just need to divide by eight
and then set the factor to zero,
and there you go.
How do you do that?
You can do it, too.
Just breathe, go slow and check your work.
That's the great thing about math.
You always know when you're right.
CLAUDIA: I was about to tell her that
had not been my experience, when
Oh, my God, he's coming over here.
- [SQUEALS]
- Oh, my God!
Go on, tell them.
I can't babysit for the Brewers
tomorrow night.
KRISTY: She was 20 minutes late
last night, and her dad grounded her.
Now I'm the one who's gonna have to sit
for stupid Watson's stupid kids,
unless one of you decides not to go
to the dance.
Absolutely not.
First, you're mad at her
for sitting for Karen and Andrew,
and now you're mad at her that she can't?
You're being crazy.
Excuse me,
I'm trying to run a business here.
It's not crazy to be mad
when someone behaves unprofessionally.
You know who is crazy?
Richard Spier.
Kristy, come on.
He's paranoid. He treats you
like some kind of china doll in a box.
And this whole thing
with the Phantom Tollbooth--
- Phantom Caller.
- Whatever. He's a psycho.
Even my mom thinks so.
He's not normal.
And what would you know
about having a normal dad?
Kristy
I mean, I
[SIGHS]
I'm a horrible person.
CLAUDIA: Kristy and Mary Anne had been
best friends since kindergarten,
and I'd never seen them like that before.
But right now,
I had to think like a mathematician,
not a marriage counselor.
- Oh, sorry.
- Sorry.
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.
I was gonna come talk to you at lunch
just now, but you seem kind of busy.
I just wanted to let you know
about this Halloween Hop thing tomorrow.
I just thought
if you needed a ride or something,
my dad could probably pick you up
and we could, like, drive there
together, if you want.
Yeah.
- Really?
- That would be great.
Cool. Nice glasses, by the way.
- [BELL RINGS]
- Settle down.
Put your books away,
for it is Judgment Day.
CLAUDIA: That night, Mary Anne was still
feeling like the world's worst friend.
Unfortunately, Mary Anne's new old phone
could only call four numbers:
her dad, her dad, 911 and her dad.
But Mary Anne and Kristy had
an even more ancient way to communicate.
I'm
I'm sorry
I shouldn't have said that.
Message received.
CLAUDIA: The next day was
my own moment of truth.
Would tonight be a dream or a nightmare?
Would I ride to the dance with Trevor,
resulting in our eventual life partnership
and rise to the pinnacle of the art world,
or would I have to spend
the rest of my life at home,
watching Janine correct people's grammar
on Reddit?
Would I pass or would I?
Fail.
[GROANS]
STACEY: It's better than last time.
Maybe your parents will be like,
"Yay, improvement!"
Trevor's gonna think I'm a total loser.
No, he's not.
And what about me?
I know basically nobody at this school
except for you and Kristy and Mary Anne,
and none of you are gonna be at the dance.
I'm sorry, Stace.
I really am.
Okay. Here, take this.
CLAUDIA: What's this for?
STACEY: Officially, study purposes.
Unofficially, you'll notice
that I wrote everything in pencil,
including my name at the top.
So if you wanted to make use
of one of those
fancy gummy erasers you carry around
and take some artistic license--
- You mean lie to my parents?
- No.
Just hide the truth until tomorrow,
after you and Trevor are fully in love,
and you got to wear
your amazing Halloween costume.
Claudia, it's my first dance
at a new school.
I really want to go.
I just don't want to go alone.
CLAUDIA: It was a moral dilemma for sure.
I needed to be somewhere I could think,
somewhere I could just be myself.
But someone else had gotten there first.
What do you think?
Be honest.
CLAUDIA: It's great.
Really.
My dad says it's derivative.
Like something he painted in the '80s.
I thought that if I painted like him,
he might actually be proud of me for once.
Whatever I try,
it's never the thing he wants.
CLAUDIA: That's when I realized,
no matter who your parents are,
they can always make you feel like
you're letting them down.
And that feeling,
the one that makes you feel sad
and scared and not good enough,
that's the real Phantom Caller.
You're a really good artist, Trevor,
and you should paint what you want.
Isn't that the whole point of art?
You're special, you know that?
See you tonight.
CLAUDIA: Oh, my God.
Okay, now I have to go to the dance.
Plus, wasn't it my parents' fault
for creating these unrealistic
expectations in the first place?
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
Well, nobody's perfect.
So these murals
are all turn-of-the-century,
and over here,
my favorite part of the house.
It's a whispering gallery.
So if I whisper into one side,
you can hear it on the other.
Here, I'll show you.
Come here, you're gonna love this.
Stand right there.
Okay.
Um, Andrew, come here.
Okay.
Kristy.
We're so happy you're here.
Right, Andrew?
ANDREW: Yeah.
[LAUGHS]
I'm gonna go get Andrew some milk.
He's trying too hard.
But we're just so excited
to have you guys together.
Karen was especially excited
to be with you.
Okay.
Well, I think it's time for someone to get
in their jam-jams and say night-night.
[MOTHER LAUGHS]
Go ahead, buddy.
Night, Kristy.
Well, thanks for coming over.
Here we go, buddy.
Well, it's nice to meet you, Karen.
Get out cookies.
I need some refreshments
for the wake I'm having for my doll.
You look wonderful.
You think?
A revolutionary costume.
One of your best yet.
We are all so proud of you.
Because of the test?
The test is very good news,
but I'm proud of you
because you are my Claudia.
For me, that is more than enough.
Let's find you some earrings.
[SIGHS]
Should we close her eyes?
KAREN: No.
It's dark enough in the grave.
Goodbye, Krakatoa.
You lived.
Now you're dead.
Do we say a prayer?
Krakatoa was an atheist.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
KAREN: Who is it?
No one.
It can't be no one.
It's probably just a wrong number.
Or it's the Phantom Caller.
Have you heard of him?
He calls you and calls you,
and all the time,
he's in your house somewhere.
Watching you.
Listening to you.
Smelling you.
[SNIFFS]
It's not the Phantom Caller, Karen.
[RINGING]
FATHER: There she is.
Our "A" student!
Looking like a million bucks.
- What she looks like is a 95%!
- [BOTH LAUGH]
Oh, honey, we are just over the moon.
Thanks, Mom.
Can I see it in person?
I'm sorry to be such a mom.
I just want to see your name next
to that grade.
[CLAUDIA SIGHS]
Claudia, what is this?
My test.
My real test.
But the 95?
That was Stacey's.
So you lied to us?
Yes, I misled you, because I wanted
to go to the dance so bad.
But I'm not someone
that can ace an algebra test
after years of barely being able
to do long division.
I'm not Janine, and I'm tired
of feeling like I have to be.
What we want is for you to try.
I am trying.
But honestly, I'd rather focus
on all the things I'm good at
instead of listening to all
the Phantom Callers in my head
telling me those things aren't important.
We're glad you told us the truth.
Me, too.
I love you guys.
[MOTHER CHUCKLES]
We love you, too.
- FATHER: Come here.
- [MOTHER MOANS, CHUCKLES]
- Well, I'll be home by ten.
- [MOTHER SIGHS]
Ah-ah! Where do you think you're going?
I really can't go to the dance?
[LAUGHS]
Are you insane?
Negative reinforcement works,
but consistency is key.
Oh, shut up, Janine.
- [CHATTERING, LAUGHING]
- [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]
CLAUDIA: I told the truth. I'm sorry.
Don't worry. Everyone wants to be
your friend, especially me.
PS tell Trevor I say hi
and tell me what he's wearing.
[RINGING]
[CONTINUES RINGING]
I think you should answer it.
[BEEPS]
What do you want?
To apologize to you.
Mary Anne?
I've been calling and calling.
Why didn't you pick up?
Why didn't your number show up?
My dad has me
on the stupid mouse phone again.
Do you know how hard it was to get
this thing to call you in the first place?
What I wanted to tell you is
Karen is going through a spooky phase,
but she's actually a lot of fun.
I'll miss you.
Also, there's a second freezer
in the basement with frozen Snickers bars.
The kids aren't supposed to know about it,
but you can have as many as you want.
Is that all?
I also wanted to say I'm sorry
for what I said about your dad.
But, Kristy
You've got to deal with your stuff
about Watson.
He's gonna be a part of your family,
whether you like it or not.
So maybe start trying to like it.
I'll see you tomorrow.
And stop calling.
It's scaring Karen.
It is not!
[LAUGHS]
Bye.
[BEEPS]
Do you want a frozen Snickers bar?
I thought you'd never ask.
Start stalking ♪
[MAN LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
CLAUDIA: Meanwhile, Stacey was living
through her own horror movie,
trying to be as inconspicuous
as you can be
in a Marie Antoinette costume,
when finally she saw someone she knew.
Mrs. Johanssen, our art teacher.
A teacher, but a pretty cool one.
- Hi!
- STACEY: Hi.
[GASPS]
That is quite the outfit.
- Unfortunately, that's true.
- [LAUGHING]
Oh, honey, you remember Stacey McGill.
- She's Charlotte's favorite babysitter.
- Of course.
- Wait, you're both chaperoning tonight.
- MRS. JOHANSSEN: Mm-hmm.
Who's at home with Charlotte?
Oh.
CLAUDIA: So I didn't
go to the Halloween Hop.
Whatever was happening with Trevor
was just gonna have to wait.
But I was in my happy place,
doing the thing I'm best at.
All in all, not such a bad night
until I heard from Stacey.
Look at this!
The Baby-Sitters Agency.
[SIGHS]
Oh, Mimi
looks like we've got competition.
[ANIMAL HOWLS]
Calling all vampires ♪
The sun is down ♪
Calling all vampires ♪
Let's go to town ♪
It's the vampire vamp ♪
Vampire vamp ♪
You know what to do ♪
Vampire vamp ♪
Vampire vamp ♪
It's getting real late ♪
So put on your capes ♪
Time to be frightening ♪
Come on, y'all ♪
Start fighting
It's the vampire vamp ♪
Come on, you tramps ♪
Vampire vamp, you know what to do ♪
Vampire vamp, come on, you tramps ♪
Vampire vamp ♪
You know what to do ♪
Chilled to the bone ♪