The Boys (2019) s01e02 Episode Script
Cherry
1 (SIREN WAILING) So, you're-you're not a Fed? Do you hear that? That's the old bill.
So unless you want to explain why you've got America's favorite invisible wanker dead on the floor, give us a fucking hand, will ya? Aw, shit.
All right, listen, I have worked for the Feds.
I've worked for loads of people.
I'm what you might call an independent contractor.
You got a problem, you call me, I solve the problem.
(POUNDING IN TRUNK) What is that? (POUNDING CONTINUES) That's a problem.
Oh, thank fuck, he's alive.
Yes, yes, he's alive! Okay, pull over.
No, no, no, Hughie, you don't fucking get it.
- Pull the car over.
- This is a fucksight worse.
He's seen our faces.
Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no, no.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Let me out.
- Let me out.
Pull over! - Hughie, you walk away now, and you will never get payback for Robin.
You'll spend the rest of your life sitting on your ass with fucking regret.
Now, is that what you want? I know a bloke.
Top man.
He'll know what to do.
Morning, luv.
Frenchie about? (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE) Mmm.
You'll love this guy.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY) (MAN SINGING IN FRENCH) Frenchie.
Oi, Frenchie.
(MUSIC VOLUME LOWERS) Monsieur Charcuter.
Huh.
This is a surprise.
Good to see you.
Good to see you, too, mate.
Means you brought that 40,000 you owe me? (FRENCHIE SNIFFS) I mean, why else would you show your face around here? Because I've got something even better for you.
How would you like to double your money? (BOTH LAUGHING) The double of zero is zero.
Who is he? This guy? Oh, this here is Hughie Campbell.
We're, uh, working a little job together.
Ooh.
- And he's still alive? - (LAUGHS) You and I worked together, and you're still in one piece.
Am I? Look, do you want to know what the fucking job is or not? Open it.
Who is in there? - Where's your sense of adventure, Frenchie? - (CATTLE PROD CRACKLES) TRANSLUCENT: You dumb fucks are fucking dead! Have you any Aah! - That's Translucent.
- (TRUNK SLAMS SHUT) You got Translucent in your trunk, huh? Nothing gets past you, mate.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Go away.
Get him out of here.
All right, all right, easy.
He's chipped.
The Supes could be on their way.
Homelander could be on his way right now.
Wait, he's chipped? FRENCHIE: You bring this to my doorstep? This is not my problem, huh? Well, it is now.
He knows what you look like.
Look, Frenchie, I need your help, mate, and I ain't leaving till I get it, or till The Seven show up.
Ah, here comes the A-Train! My man, how you doing? Look, I brought you something.
- Thanks? - Yeah.
I'm sorry, I asked for Translucent.
Right, but Translucent is on a secret, undercover mission right now.
But you got the A-Train, baby.
(CLICKS TONGUE) But my wish was to meet Translucent.
That was my only wish.
He's my hero.
Yeah.
Um well, you know, maybe he can swing by next week or some - something - (MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY) (QUIETLY): Fuck.
Um you know what? Maybe I can't turn invisible, but I am the world's fastest man.
Like, I can outrun anybody or anything.
That's-that's something, right? (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) Look, I'll tell you what, you get better, and I'll teach you to run as fast as me.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
You'll teach me to outrun cancer? (SIGHS) Yeah.
Oh, my God, turn that off.
How many times do I have to tell you that A-Train needs to be scripted? - Right.
- When he does not have a script, - this is what happens.
- I'm on it.
I'm so sorry.
- It will not happen again.
- All right.
And where is Translucent? We know he's not in the building.
He hasn't triggered any of the motion sensors.
He's probably out on another one of his fucking benders.
Doesn't he have a team-up tomorrow night? Yeah, with the Deep.
- Get a backup.
- I'm on it.
- Okay, go.
- (PHONE RINGING) Okay.
Hello? Black Noir.
We haven't properly met yet.
I'm Starlight.
Well (SIGHS) I look forward to working with you.
ASHLEY: There she is.
Hi.
How you settling in? Well, uh, it's an adjustment.
That's for sure.
- This is Trevor - Hi.
from Crime Analytics.
So, we have exciting news for you.
We are sending you on your first patrol.
- (GASPS) - It's a team-up tomorrow night.
Oh, that's great.
That's great news.
Thank you.
Hi.
Big fan.
There you go.
- STARLIGHT: A crime itinerary? - TREVOR: Yep.
Where and when to find the bad guys.
That's what my department does.
We vet leads, crunch satellite data, COMP-STAT.
Better intel than the police.
- Mm.
- You know, thanks, but I'm good.
I-I like to do my own investigating.
ASHLEY: And that is why we love you, but it's not coming from us.
It's corporate.
To protect you.
What if you nab the wrong person? There's liability to consider.
The-the Deep is coming? Yeah, it's a water-adjacent crime.
Then he should do it himself.
He doesn't need me.
ASHLEY: It was gonna be Deep and Translucent, but everyone on 82 is so excited to get you out there.
Yeah, it's just, uh, you know, back in Des Moines, I always patrolled alone.
ASHLEY: And that is why we love you.
But we see at least a 23% uptick in social media mentions and hero hashtags when there's a team-up.
People love a team-up.
- Love a team-up.
- Mm.
Ow (TIRES SCREECHING) Be a man, can a mystery man Be a doll, be a baby doll I got a feeling, then I hear this call I said neat, neat, neat, she can't afford no cannon Neat, neat, neat She can't afford no gun at all Neat, neat, neat She can't afford no cannon Neat, neat, neat.
FRENCHIE: That stuff really blocks the chip's signal? Yeah.
It's just R.
F.
Shielding Foil.
You can get it at Fry's.
You in tech intelligence? Uh, sales and installation.
TRANSLUCENT: Ah Oh, what the fuck? Where am I? Oi.
Morning, sunshine.
- You know who I am? - Not sure.
I know so many invisible assholes.
TRANSLUCENT: You fucking amateurs! - (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) - (TRANSLUCENT CRIES OUT) Fuck! What the fuck?! Ooh, mind them bars, son.
You'll only bollocks yourself again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Uh, okay, what do you guys want? Money? We don't want your fucking money.
What do you think, Frenchie? You just dropped the Moby fucking Dick of problems on my plate.
That's what I think.
Okay? He can re-order his carbon on his skin into metamaterial.
(SIGHS) It's hard as diamonds.
It's nearly impossible to penetrate.
BUTCHER: All right, how 'bout we suffocate him? FRENCHIE: Some Dominicans already tried this, way back in '07.
BUTCHER: And what happened? FRENCHIE: They're all fucking dead now.
That's what happened.
BUTCHER: All right, then, fuck it, electrocution.
We'll just increase the amps.
FRENCHIE: You already hit him with enough to drop a water buffalo, and look.
Might knock him out.
Doesn't seem to kill him, huh? No.
We need to pierce the skin somehow.
BUTCHER: Well, how the hell are we gonna do that? FRENCHIE: I don't know.
You're gonna kill him? (BUTCHER SCOFFS) We didn't bring him here for a fucking Happy Meal.
I don't I thought we'd question him or something.
I don't know, you get a you get ahold of someone this big At Gitmo, we had to water board Khalid Sheikh Mohammed 183 times over six months to get him to talk just once.
Now, we ain't got six months.
I doubt we've even got six hours.
There are so many crazy things about what you just said, but right now, you're talking about randomly killing one of the most famous men on the planet.
A goddamn national treasure.
I mean people tend to notice that kind of thing.
And if we let him go what do you think The Seven will do to us? - Hmm? - (SIGHS) You can't get A-Train if you're a greasy smear on the pavement.
I'm not a murderer.
(BUTCHER SCOFFS) That's all right.
- I am.
- (HUGHIE EXHALES) The race is coming up quickly.
How you feeling? Look, A-Train is a fierce competitor, but no one can be the world's fastest man forever.
Let's just say I like my chan HOMELANDER DOLL: I'll always protect you.
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Your little hero will never be afraid with the Junior Homelander Cuddle I regret to inform you that I've located the mayor's Gulfstream.
It's about two miles down at the bottom of Hudson Canyon.
There are no survivors, and I've yet to locate the flight recorder.
Though the jet was fragmented, there was one engine fully intact, and it appears to be engine failure.
So I'd like to offer (DOOR OPENS) Whoa (BOTH CHUCKLE) - Still going strong, huh? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
I've just been pumping for 30 minutes, and I got a quarter of an ounce.
Hey, hey, go easy on yourself.
Come on, now.
Personally, I think it's amazing that a woman your age can have a baby, period.
That is so sweet of you to say.
Oh, no problem.
Hey, you found Translucent yet? - You heard about that? - Mm-hmm.
No, not yet.
Well, you know, I could search for him.
Personally.
That's not necessary.
Right.
Hey, did you hear about the mayor of Baltimore? Yeah.
Yeah.
Heard his plane went down.
Some sort of engine trouble.
Yeah, it's awful.
I saw him on Tuesday.
Had a meeting with him right here.
Wow.
Well, hug your kids, right? 'Cause you never know what might happen.
- So true.
- Mm.
You know what's interesting? The Deep told me, and only me, that there were, uh, scorch marks on the mayor's engine.
Almost as if from two small, high-intensity beams, roughly the width of human eyes.
Say what you mean to say.
Your brand is hope, baseball, America sunshine.
You don't do vengeance.
Madelyn, I heard him through the wall of this He was blackmailing you.
I am the last person you need to save.
Yeah, but I-I did it for you.
I know, but did the timing occur to you? I have half the Senate Appropriations Committee coming tonight.
(SCOFFS) How did he even know about Compound V? We are not going to talk about that.
Oh, come on, Madelyn.
You do not need to hide things from me.
I love Vought as much as you do, - and I can do more.
- You can do more? You've already grossed $12.
3 billion for us.
Right.
So the pricks on 82 can take all the fucking credit? Empty fucking suits with Cornell degrees? Come on.
I'm the one who's out there.
Not them.
I'm the one who, who-who knows the audience.
Who knows what's good for this company.
I know.
I hear you.
I do.
But what I need right now, is I need you to charm the shit out of those congressmen.
Right.
'Cause that's all I'm good for, huh? Smile, look pretty, say my lines.
Whoop, whoop, whoop.
No.
No.
You just need to let me protect you.
- Oh, you're gonna protect me? - Mm-hmm.
Gods are pure and they're perfect and they're above it all.
And they need to stay that way.
Huh You're leaking.
Thank you.
(PANTING) (SCOFFS, CHUCKLES) (PHONE CHIMES) (SIGHS) (LINE RINGING) - DAD (OVER PHONE): Hello? - Hi, Dad.
Hughie, where have you been? I've been calling hospitals.
- I'm fine.
- But the police are saying some wacko drove into Gary's store, right through the window, and then took off.
I-I thought maybe you've been hurt, or-or kidnapped.
I saw this Dateline on human trafficking Dad, I haven't been human trafficked, okay? I-I closed up early.
It must have happened after I left.
But where'd you go? Just been drinking at Anthony's.
- Blowing off steam.
- No now, I called Anthony, all right? I called everybody.
No one's seen you.
Don't lie to me.
Yeah, it's kind of hard to explain.
Hey, Dad, listen, I got to, I got to go.
Just, l-listen, I know you've been taking Robin's accident real hard.
- It wasn't an accident.
- All-all right, all right.
My point is, you're a good boy.
You're a sensitive boy.
Come home.
Okay? Before you do something stupid, come home, Hughie.
- I got to go.
- No, w-wait, Hugh (PANTING) (GRUNTS) (PANTING) Oh.
Well, I heard we had a meeting.
So, um, I'll just leave you to it.
Well, we're having a meeting right now, aren't we, Deep? You and me.
- Come on in.
- Yeah.
Sure.
So, uh, what, uh Or is there, is there anything I can, can do for you, Homelander? Well, yeah.
I-I guess, uh (SIGHS) Well, you can help me understand something, Deep, 'cause, uh (CHUCKLES): I don't know, maybe I'm stupid.
Am I stupid, Deep? What? No.
(SCOFFS) No.
You're not stupid.
(CHUCKLES) You're-you're smart.
Very smart, right? Yeah.
Okay.
So, what possible reason what, uh, razor-sharp fish instinct made you run to Stillwell and tell her what you thought you saw down there? All right, look, I-I thought I thought I, I was, uh I-I don't even know I don't know what I saw down there, as a matter of fact.
It was, it was really dark and, uh, muddy the water was really muddy.
I'm sorry.
Okay? I'm sorry.
I-I didn't I didn't really see anything down there, as a matter of fact.
(CHUCKLES) That's what I thought.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
(LAUGHING) (HOMELANDER CHUCKLES) And I trust we never have to have this conversation again.
No.
Of course not.
Just this once.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) Now go fuck Shamu in the blowhole.
Yeah.
("LA FOULE," BY YOUSSOUPHA PLAYING) Rounds coated in the same carbon metamaterial as his skin.
(SCOFFS) Will it work? Je ne sais pas.
(GUN CLICKS) HUGHIE: Guys? What are you doing? Wait! No, no, no! Wait, wait! TRANSLUCENT: Whoa, whoa, whoa! TRANSLUCENT: Ha, ha, ha, ha (LAUGHING) You stupid, fucking asshole.
I'm invincible.
You stupid motherfuckers.
(LAUGHS) I'm fucking Translucent.
I'm indestructible.
It's only a matter of time before they come for me.
You're fucking dead! Well, that was great, guys.
That was awesome.
Frenchie, back later.
Where are you going? - Got an idea.
Long shot, might help.
- Now? Yeah, well, it's all under control here, isn't it? Try not to bugger each other.
Ah, fuck me.
Fuck.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) EMPLOYEE: Oh.
Sorry, Ms.
Stillwell.
EMPLOYEE 2: Oh MADELYN: Are you Anika? Ms.
Stillwell, I didn't know that you were You look really nice.
Thank you.
Could you please show me? Yeah.
We haven't been able to ping Translucent's chip - until about five minutes ago.
- Well, where is he? Jersey City.
What the hell is he doing in Jersey City? Uh well, he's somewhere in this ten-block area.
MADELYN: That is the best you can do? ANIKA: It's possible the chip's glitching, - or there's some kind of interference - Okay.
Tell security to search the area, door-to-door if necessary.
But tell them to be discreet.
He is invisible, so it shouldn't be that hard.
Okay.
(BOAT HORN BLOWS IN DISTANCE) DEEP: Oh, wow.
What a surprise.
A water crime.
Fuck me running.
I swear to God, they only call me when there's trouble at a dock.
Or a river or a lake, canal.
A jetty.
(CHUCKLES) Fucking idiots.
I could be doing so much more.
But no, Vought just wants me to make my big pretty dives into the water and flash my fucking biceps for Instagram.
I mean, sure, four million hits a day, but still, it's fucking demeaning.
(SIGHS) What's your problem? You've had that pissy look on your face all night.
(ELECTRICAL BUZZING) Ooh.
What ? Is this about the other night again? (SCOFFS) Jesus Christ.
(CHUCKLES) Cry me a fucking river, all right? I took my share of shit when I first got here, okay? Besides, you had a crush on me, remember? That gives you no right zero right to do what you did, you pathetic asshole.
- Hey.
You shut your fucking mouth.
- Or what? You'll sic a grouper on me? I'll tell everyone you're a psycho.
- I'll go to Homelander.
- No, you won't.
See, I asked around; you're not number two around here.
You're just the fish guy.
Everyone thinks you're a joke.
Me, most of all.
I cannot believe I fell for your crap.
- You stuck-up little - You ever touch me again, I will burn your eyes out.
Understand me? (SIGHS) (CLATTERING) We'll finish this later.
You take them from the front, I'll come in from behind.
(EXHALES) HOMELANDER DOLL: I'll always STARLIGHT: Hey.
(GRUNTING) Hey, boys.
(WHOOPS) Hurry up.
Move faster.
You're amazing.
That was so great.
That was really good.
- Smile for the cameras.
- What? What the hell is this? Yeah, stand over him and say "This is lit.
" DEEP: Oh, hey, Jimmy.
Catch my dive in the water? It was fucking cherry.
Nice.
ASHLEY: Smile at the camera, Starlight.
(ALARM BEEPING) BUTCHER: Congrats on your promotion, Susan.
(WHISPERS): Jesus Christ.
Butcher.
- Madam Deputy Director, eh? - (SIGHING) Wow.
Andrew and the kids must be chuffed for you.
Keep your voice down, and don't talk about my family.
It makes my skin crawl.
What are you doing here? Just need a quick dekko at some of your files.
- My files? What files? - A couple of Supes.
Big Game, Shout Out.
Translucent, if you got him.
- Why Translucent? - Eh, nothing special, - just ticking a few boxes.
- Oh.
So you just broke into my goddamn house in the middle of the night? All right.
I'm trying to find a way to do the job on the cunt, and if it's anywhere, it'll be in Mallory's files.
- Now would you like me to keep talking? - No.
No.
Christ.
Just don't fucking say another word.
The Mallory files are dead and buried.
You're the deputy director of CIA Operations.
- Dig 'em up.
- No.
- Why not? - Because of you.
- Me? - Yes, you.
The director will shitcan anyone who even goes near those files.
You made it suicide to go after the Supes.
What are you even doing back involved in this? I mean, you have a death wish, or are you a glutton for punishment? Yeah.
A bit of both, I suppose.
Come on Susan.
Five minutes alone with a piece of paper.
For old time's sakes.
No one will know.
You-You're really trying to sell this shit? - Why, you buying it? - You think I look back fondly at the times we fucked in bar bathrooms? Oh, come on.
We had a few laughs.
Like the time you sent me the Edible Arrangement.
And what we had was you trying to use me, for a Get Out of Jail Free card at a time like this.
Well, if that's all it was, then, what's got you so hot and bothered when a simple "fuck you" would suffice? Fuck you.
Now get out of my house.
Did I mention this is life or death? I'll send an Edible Arrangement to your funeral.
Hi.
I, um I thought you might be thirsty, so Well, if you don't want it, I can always No, I want it.
Cheers.
(GULPING) HUGHIE: So, listen, um, I need to ask you some questions about A-Train.
When he, uh, burst through that woman the other day, Robin Ward.
I-I need to know why.
Where was he going? What was he doing? Why? Was she your sister? Girlfriend? Girlfriend.
(SIGHS) That's what all this is about? Christ.
What makes you think I know anything about it? I know you and A-Train were tight.
You guys came up together.
What are you, a fucking fan? Listen, those two guys in there, they want to kill you, okay? So you give me something, maybe I can What? Hold 'em off? 'Cause they hang on your every word.
You're the big man around here.
Okay, you don't want to talk, don't talk.
I tried.
Good luck.
Buddy, my superpower ain't invisibility.
You know that, right? It's reading people.
Watching them when they think they're alone.
I see people for who they really are.
I see you, too, pal.
Right.
'Cause you know me so well, right? Yeah.
I know you're trying your damnedest to be tough it's a little adorable but the truth is you're terrified.
Shitting in your tighty-whities 'cause you're "in over your head fucked", and you know it.
(INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSION) TRANSLUCENT: Hughie, I even kind of feel for you.
Your girl died, and we do crazy shit when we got broken hearts, but now every instinct is screaming at you to head for the hills, and you should listen to that instinct.
Unless we kill you first.
How? I got invulnerable skin.
I'm a fucking superhero, guy.
We fight gangs and terrorists.
We save the world daily.
I've stood in front of thousands of screaming fans, all of 'em creaming their jeans.
Uh Who are you? A water balloon filled (LAUGHING): with blood and meat.
Homelander's gonna find me, and when he does, he's gonna burst you wide open.
I'm gonna make it home in time for cocktails.
'Cause that's who you are, and that's who I am.
You're not the hero of this story.
And I'm not the one who's trapped.
Well, good luck.
I tried.
TRANSLUCENT: Great chat.
Run for the hills, Hughie.
MAN (OVER RADIO): It looks like we're losing him.
The signal's going in and out.
MAN 2 (OVER RADIO): Keep searching, another 50 feet down on the right.
(SHUDDERING) EZEKIEL: Because, thanks to Samaritan's Embrace, Asim has a bed, a ventilated cooking area, and a laptop.
But our work is not done.
There are millions more children just like Asim, who need your help.
For just $9.
99 a month.
That is only Hi, John.
Thanks for your support.
It's what makes this republic so great.
Bill.
How are the kids? (CHUCKLES) Hey.
EZEKIEL: Give to Samaritan's Embrace today, and give a child just like Asim Could I get a club soda? Ms.
Stillwell.
Senator, what can I get you? - Jack, rocks.
- You know, we have Macallan 25.
You'd be wasting it.
Whiskey's whiskey to me.
(CHUCKLES) Boy, they're blowing so much smoke up Maeve's ass, it's a miracle she doesn't die of lung cancer.
(LAUGHS) But you know it's just that, right? Smoke.
- I'm sorry? - Everyone loves to bask in their glow, but tomorrow morning no one's putting Supes into national defense.
It won't get out of committee, much less hit the floor.
Because God forbid we could have an advantage in an armed conflict.
You send a Supe over the 38th parallel, Pyongyang's gonna answer with a nuke.
Then one of my guys will catch it.
You see Robertson over there? He's got Lockheed in his state and in his pocket.
McCrea? He's got Fort Bragg and its couple thousand voters.
No one wants to outsource to you.
America runs on weapons.
Hell, it's one of the only damn things we still make.
But you are the chairman.
Where do you stand? Me? I'm just an old leatherneck.
And if I was on the line, scare the shit out of me to have Homelander there.
My heroes are the most loyal, patriotic That's just it.
They're your heroes, aren't they? Get him a Macallan 25.
(CHUCKLES) Why have average when you can have extraordinary? (CHUCKLES) Thank you.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) WOMAN: Guys, we should get back to the party.
- MAN: What? - Elena just ordered more booze.
- Come on, let's go back.
- No, no WOMAN: It'll be more fun at the party.
Please okay, don't touch me.
- (LAUGHS) - No, please, please.
Oh, no, no! Stop! No, no, no, no! Please, no, no, no, no! - The girl said no.
- Help.
We're all friends here.
Yeah, it's all good.
It's fine.
(LAUGHS) Miss, do me a favor and shut your eyes.
Fucking bitch.
(GRUNTING) (DRILLING) Fucking diamond skin.
(DOOR SLAMS) - Fuck.
- Merde! Here.
Here, take it.
What is that? It will help with your, uh, anxiety.
It's LSD and MDMA.
This is a candy flip.
It'll smooth you right out.
Take it.
Uh, thank you, but I-I don't think now is the time for a major hallucinogen.
Fais-toi plaisir.
(SNIFFS, COUGHS) What are you exactly? Chemist? Engineer? What? No.
I know a little about a lot of things.
I'm a gunrunner by trade, but, uh, as you can see, I've developed a certain niche.
Killing superheroes? No.
You can count on one hand the number of dead superheroes.
Sometimes you can, uh, incapacitate them.
Truly, they are magnificent creatures.
Mm.
Each one with a unique power that requires a unique solution.
It's, uh it's never the same twice.
Who pays you to do that? Whoever can pay.
And when you do kill a Supe or, you know, any-anyone um what's it like? You know (SNIFFS) I saw this woman once, in a midtown elevator, No more for ten seconds, I see her, huh? Stunning.
Five-nine.
Hair so black it absorbed the light, you know? Tom Ford pencil skirt, Louboutin stilettos.
C'est magnifique.
But she had, uh she had I never forget this, you see she had dirt under her fingernails and callouses on her hands, and I see this and I say, "Oh, strange for such a refined woman like this.
" What, you (CHUCKLES) You a gardener? You know, are you a sculptor? What is this, huh? And I think about this I think about her all the time.
She was the first person I ever killed.
I carry I carry them all with me.
It's like scars in a way, you know? Okay, Senator, you ready? (CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah.
Oh.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, darling.
- Mm-hmm? - You know I like to watch.
No.
Can't always be in control.
- (CHUCKLES) - Sir.
Then I guess I'll just have to feel my way through it.
Oh, you'll feel good indeed, baby.
- You ready? - Oh, I was born ready.
- Mm-hmm.
- Feels like butter, baby.
Get ready, sir.
You're going in.
Yee-haw! Giddyup, gal.
Come on.
- Oh, God.
- (LAUGHING) That-that feels different.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Hey Homelander.
Starlight.
How are you? Uh, I'm good.
Good.
Hey, is that your, uh, secret identity? - Mm-hmm.
- Charming.
Thanks.
Yeah, I-I gave up on mine oh a long time ago now.
I think I'm gonna go to sleep.
(CHUCKLES) Good night.
MADELYN: No.
No, I did not go through eight rounds of IVF and bleeding nipples to quit now.
I am doing this.
Yes.
That little kid is gonna drink my goddamn milk if it's the last thing I do.
(PUMP WHIRRING) (NARRATOR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER TV) (DRILL WHIRRING) (DRILL CLATTERS ON TABLE) NARRATOR: While scientists now believe the shell evolved to help turtles burrow underground What are you doing? Shocking our invisible friend.
I need him unconscious.
Why? Because I got it.
TRANSLUCENT: Now what the fuck do you want? - (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) - (TRANSLUCENT SCREAMS) What the fuck, Starlight?! - What? - (SPITS) (GRUNTING OVER PHONE) - Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
Oh, shit.
And so glad you did it in plain clothes, so you could blow your secret identity.
Here: "OMG.
I recognize Starlight, that's Annie January! I went to Hoover High with her.
#SheWasBulimic.
" (CLEARS THROAT) One, this was stupid.
Two, it was really stupid to do it on camera.
Always look for cameras.
- They were about to rape a girl.
- What girl? There's no girl in that video.
You get a name? No, she ran off.
Oh, great.
She ran off.
Great.
Always get a fucking name, Starlight.
Always! Well, uh They-they said Hmm.
(STAMMERING): They-they said she was a friend.
It was date rape, I think.
Great.
Well, she hasn't come forward and, statistically, she's not likely to.
So all we really have is two Delta Betas who insist they were just getting drunk in an alley until you beat them unconscious.
They're lying! I, uh Aren't I innocent until proven guilty? When you're in the big leagues? You flip it.
(EXHALES) I don't know what you were planning on doing today, hmm, with your little cute day, but you have to cancel everything, okay? You're gonna have meetings with Risk Assessment, with Crisis Management, with Legal.
Jerry is gonna lose his shit! Fuck.
Am (STARLIGHT EXHALES) Are they gonna fire me? Just be in Stillwell's office at 10:00.
What? Am I fired? Senator, I very much appreciate you coming bright and early.
I realize, uh, how busy you were last night.
These are fake.
I think we both know they're not.
Look.
I was with a young woman, all right? Of legal age.
Her name was Rhonda.
So this isn't possible.
They've (SCOFFS) obviously been doctored or something.
I'm sorry, they are authentic.
I should know.
I was there.
You what? (SQUISHING AND CRACKING) You shiver when you orgasm, sir.
Oh, Jesus.
(DOOR OPENS) That will be all, Doppelganger.
Who the fuck is he? Anyway, I would love to continue our conversation from last night.
This is some dirty fucking pool, Madelyn.
You're really gonna clutch your pearls, Senator? I don't think either one of us is that naive.
Yeah.
It's not it's not fatal to be homosexual these days.
It is in Oklahoma, sir.
Where your voters live.
Even if I get the bill out of committee, nobody's gonna vote for it on the floor.
No one wants your fucking Supes in the Army.
We'll see.
- (DOOR OPENS) - MAN: Shut up, shut up, shut up.
(INDISTINCT LOW CHATTER) ANIKA: Homelander.
(CHUCKLES) Uh wel-welcome to Crime Analytics.
- (HOMELANDER SIGHS) - Can Would you like a Red Bull? Have you found Translucent yet? Oh.
Uh, no.
But Security's on it.
He's been missing over 24 hours.
- Is he in danger? - Um Do you even know? Forget it.
I'll find him myself.
What's his last known position, please? Why don't I just call Ms.
Stillwell? - And I - No.
No, no, no, no, no.
You're talking to me.
Well, I'm not sure - I'm supposed to be talking to - (SIGHS) What's your name? - Anika.
- Anika.
Sir.
It's a beautiful name.
(ANIKA CHUCKLES) Listen, Anika.
- (QUIETLY): I'm the Homelander.
- Mm-hmm.
And I can do whatever the fuck I want.
(CHUCKLES) Okay? Now Translucent's last known position.
Please.
(TYPING) TRANSLUCENT: What the ? Something doesn't feel right.
Oh, I'll bet.
FRENCHIE: I'm not ashamed to admit I have outdone myself.
Now, the problem is the skin, no? It's, uh, hard like diamonds.
But then I realized, it is just your shell that is hard, huh? Like a turtle.
But your insides they're like the rest of ours soft.
So, how do you get to the squishy insides? Through the mouth? Non.
The stomach acid, the gag reflex.
If I stick something down your throat, you may vomit it up.
(CLICKS TONGUE) There's truly only one way The fuck did you do to me? He stuck a lump of plastique up your bum, son.
Ass bomb.
Oh, my God.
Now you stick a little finger up there and try and fish it out bang.
I trigger this also bang.
Savvy? (CRYING): Oh, please don't kill me.
I'll do anything.
(STAMMERING): I'll tell you about A-Train.
That's what the kid wants, right? I-I-I-I don't know where A-Train was going that night he killed the girl, okay, but I know where he was coming from.
What? Where? Popclaw's.
He fucking loves her.
He doesn't think anyone else knows, but I know.
I know a lot of things.
But he-he's there every night.
Maybe now, even.
Popclaw? That's the hero with the the sharp things coming out of her arms.
Yeah.
Real D-lister.
Anyone knows what A-Train was doing, it's Popclaw.
But that's all I know about that, I swear to Christ.
But I'll tell you anything else you want.
Just ask.
TRANSLUCENT: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Just ask anything.
Now, normally, that would be just what the doctor ordered.
But unfortunately for you we're out of time.
No.
No! Please! Listen, I know shit.
Dark shit! All the way to the top! Wait, wait! No, no, no, no, no! Please, wait, wait, wait.
Listen, I can help you.
I'm fucking invisible! - We can be a team.
- FRENCHIE: Butcher! No, please, please, please! Please, I can A moment, s'il vous plait.
(TRANSLUCENT CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) Here.
HUGHIE: What is that? Homelander.
HUGHIE: That's Homelander? Homelander's here? Oh, shit.
Oh, shit! (EXHALES) He could see us.
He's got X-ray vision.
He can see through the fucking roof.
And super fucking hearing.
You pull that detonator, he will hear.
Homelander.
We got to throw him off the scent.
But how? Pittsburgh.
Oh, you cannot be serious, huh? Deadly.
FRENCHIE: You know how much this will cost me? Put it on the tab.
Guys?! Where is it? Back door panel.
(LINE RINGING) - Look, the mall shooting's a tragedy.
- (PHONE RINGING) I'm just saying, if more people were armed, maybe I wouldn't have to save the day every time.
- NEWSMAN: So, in a situation - (SIGHS) Hello? FRENCHIE: Cherie.
It's a burn.
You're joking.
Now? No joke, I'm afraid.
(SIGHS) Fine.
I'll be ready in three.
(EXHALES) BUTCHER: Come on.
Frenchie, I'm getting shit reception here.
Well, figure it the fuck out, huh? Come on.
(KNOCKING) HOMELANDER: Evening.
Holy shit.
You're the Homelander.
I am talking to the Homelander.
Mm-hmm.
Sir, I need to see some ID.
Get the fuck back in that cage.
Just take it easy.
Okay? HOMELANDER: You doing out here? This is my place.
We I'm, uh I'm opening a Fogo de Chao.
You know what a churrascaria is? Yeah.
It's a Brazilian steakhouse.
Sir, I need to see in the back of the van.
No offense, you got a warrant or something? Well, if you got nothing back there, then you got nothing to worry about, right? (FRENCHIE CHUCKLES) Please get back in the cage.
I'm not getting back in that cage, man.
I do, I am dead.
Yeah, well, if you don't you're dead.
TRANSLUCENT: Just think.
You kill me, they'll never stop looking for you.
You'll be glancing over your shoulder your whole life till they find you, which they will.
(DISTANT EXPLOSION) FRENCHIE: Everything all right, sir? Look, you let me go you'll be the hero that saved Translucent.
It's not too late.
You can still go home.
Back to your life.
(DETONATOR SAFETY CLICKS) Attaboy.
(PANTING) (HIGH-PITCHED RINGING) Hello, Daddy Hello, Mom I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb Hello, world, I'm your wild girl I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb, cherry bomb Stone age love and strange sounds, too Come on, baby, let me get to you Bad nights causin' teenage blues Get down, ladies, you've got nothin' to lose Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb Hello, world, I'm your wild girl I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb (MOANING) Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb Hello, world, I'm your wild girl I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb Oh Hey, street boy, want some style? Your dead-end dreams don't make you smile I'll give you something to live for Have you and grab you until you're sore Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb Hello, world, I'm your wild girl I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb, cherry bomb (ECHOING): Cherry bomb!
So unless you want to explain why you've got America's favorite invisible wanker dead on the floor, give us a fucking hand, will ya? Aw, shit.
All right, listen, I have worked for the Feds.
I've worked for loads of people.
I'm what you might call an independent contractor.
You got a problem, you call me, I solve the problem.
(POUNDING IN TRUNK) What is that? (POUNDING CONTINUES) That's a problem.
Oh, thank fuck, he's alive.
Yes, yes, he's alive! Okay, pull over.
No, no, no, Hughie, you don't fucking get it.
- Pull the car over.
- This is a fucksight worse.
He's seen our faces.
Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no, no.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Let me out.
- Let me out.
Pull over! - Hughie, you walk away now, and you will never get payback for Robin.
You'll spend the rest of your life sitting on your ass with fucking regret.
Now, is that what you want? I know a bloke.
Top man.
He'll know what to do.
Morning, luv.
Frenchie about? (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE) Mmm.
You'll love this guy.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY) (MAN SINGING IN FRENCH) Frenchie.
Oi, Frenchie.
(MUSIC VOLUME LOWERS) Monsieur Charcuter.
Huh.
This is a surprise.
Good to see you.
Good to see you, too, mate.
Means you brought that 40,000 you owe me? (FRENCHIE SNIFFS) I mean, why else would you show your face around here? Because I've got something even better for you.
How would you like to double your money? (BOTH LAUGHING) The double of zero is zero.
Who is he? This guy? Oh, this here is Hughie Campbell.
We're, uh, working a little job together.
Ooh.
- And he's still alive? - (LAUGHS) You and I worked together, and you're still in one piece.
Am I? Look, do you want to know what the fucking job is or not? Open it.
Who is in there? - Where's your sense of adventure, Frenchie? - (CATTLE PROD CRACKLES) TRANSLUCENT: You dumb fucks are fucking dead! Have you any Aah! - That's Translucent.
- (TRUNK SLAMS SHUT) You got Translucent in your trunk, huh? Nothing gets past you, mate.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Go away.
Get him out of here.
All right, all right, easy.
He's chipped.
The Supes could be on their way.
Homelander could be on his way right now.
Wait, he's chipped? FRENCHIE: You bring this to my doorstep? This is not my problem, huh? Well, it is now.
He knows what you look like.
Look, Frenchie, I need your help, mate, and I ain't leaving till I get it, or till The Seven show up.
Ah, here comes the A-Train! My man, how you doing? Look, I brought you something.
- Thanks? - Yeah.
I'm sorry, I asked for Translucent.
Right, but Translucent is on a secret, undercover mission right now.
But you got the A-Train, baby.
(CLICKS TONGUE) But my wish was to meet Translucent.
That was my only wish.
He's my hero.
Yeah.
Um well, you know, maybe he can swing by next week or some - something - (MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY) (QUIETLY): Fuck.
Um you know what? Maybe I can't turn invisible, but I am the world's fastest man.
Like, I can outrun anybody or anything.
That's-that's something, right? (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) Look, I'll tell you what, you get better, and I'll teach you to run as fast as me.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
You'll teach me to outrun cancer? (SIGHS) Yeah.
Oh, my God, turn that off.
How many times do I have to tell you that A-Train needs to be scripted? - Right.
- When he does not have a script, - this is what happens.
- I'm on it.
I'm so sorry.
- It will not happen again.
- All right.
And where is Translucent? We know he's not in the building.
He hasn't triggered any of the motion sensors.
He's probably out on another one of his fucking benders.
Doesn't he have a team-up tomorrow night? Yeah, with the Deep.
- Get a backup.
- I'm on it.
- Okay, go.
- (PHONE RINGING) Okay.
Hello? Black Noir.
We haven't properly met yet.
I'm Starlight.
Well (SIGHS) I look forward to working with you.
ASHLEY: There she is.
Hi.
How you settling in? Well, uh, it's an adjustment.
That's for sure.
- This is Trevor - Hi.
from Crime Analytics.
So, we have exciting news for you.
We are sending you on your first patrol.
- (GASPS) - It's a team-up tomorrow night.
Oh, that's great.
That's great news.
Thank you.
Hi.
Big fan.
There you go.
- STARLIGHT: A crime itinerary? - TREVOR: Yep.
Where and when to find the bad guys.
That's what my department does.
We vet leads, crunch satellite data, COMP-STAT.
Better intel than the police.
- Mm.
- You know, thanks, but I'm good.
I-I like to do my own investigating.
ASHLEY: And that is why we love you, but it's not coming from us.
It's corporate.
To protect you.
What if you nab the wrong person? There's liability to consider.
The-the Deep is coming? Yeah, it's a water-adjacent crime.
Then he should do it himself.
He doesn't need me.
ASHLEY: It was gonna be Deep and Translucent, but everyone on 82 is so excited to get you out there.
Yeah, it's just, uh, you know, back in Des Moines, I always patrolled alone.
ASHLEY: And that is why we love you.
But we see at least a 23% uptick in social media mentions and hero hashtags when there's a team-up.
People love a team-up.
- Love a team-up.
- Mm.
Ow (TIRES SCREECHING) Be a man, can a mystery man Be a doll, be a baby doll I got a feeling, then I hear this call I said neat, neat, neat, she can't afford no cannon Neat, neat, neat She can't afford no gun at all Neat, neat, neat She can't afford no cannon Neat, neat, neat.
FRENCHIE: That stuff really blocks the chip's signal? Yeah.
It's just R.
F.
Shielding Foil.
You can get it at Fry's.
You in tech intelligence? Uh, sales and installation.
TRANSLUCENT: Ah Oh, what the fuck? Where am I? Oi.
Morning, sunshine.
- You know who I am? - Not sure.
I know so many invisible assholes.
TRANSLUCENT: You fucking amateurs! - (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) - (TRANSLUCENT CRIES OUT) Fuck! What the fuck?! Ooh, mind them bars, son.
You'll only bollocks yourself again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Uh, okay, what do you guys want? Money? We don't want your fucking money.
What do you think, Frenchie? You just dropped the Moby fucking Dick of problems on my plate.
That's what I think.
Okay? He can re-order his carbon on his skin into metamaterial.
(SIGHS) It's hard as diamonds.
It's nearly impossible to penetrate.
BUTCHER: All right, how 'bout we suffocate him? FRENCHIE: Some Dominicans already tried this, way back in '07.
BUTCHER: And what happened? FRENCHIE: They're all fucking dead now.
That's what happened.
BUTCHER: All right, then, fuck it, electrocution.
We'll just increase the amps.
FRENCHIE: You already hit him with enough to drop a water buffalo, and look.
Might knock him out.
Doesn't seem to kill him, huh? No.
We need to pierce the skin somehow.
BUTCHER: Well, how the hell are we gonna do that? FRENCHIE: I don't know.
You're gonna kill him? (BUTCHER SCOFFS) We didn't bring him here for a fucking Happy Meal.
I don't I thought we'd question him or something.
I don't know, you get a you get ahold of someone this big At Gitmo, we had to water board Khalid Sheikh Mohammed 183 times over six months to get him to talk just once.
Now, we ain't got six months.
I doubt we've even got six hours.
There are so many crazy things about what you just said, but right now, you're talking about randomly killing one of the most famous men on the planet.
A goddamn national treasure.
I mean people tend to notice that kind of thing.
And if we let him go what do you think The Seven will do to us? - Hmm? - (SIGHS) You can't get A-Train if you're a greasy smear on the pavement.
I'm not a murderer.
(BUTCHER SCOFFS) That's all right.
- I am.
- (HUGHIE EXHALES) The race is coming up quickly.
How you feeling? Look, A-Train is a fierce competitor, but no one can be the world's fastest man forever.
Let's just say I like my chan HOMELANDER DOLL: I'll always protect you.
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Your little hero will never be afraid with the Junior Homelander Cuddle I regret to inform you that I've located the mayor's Gulfstream.
It's about two miles down at the bottom of Hudson Canyon.
There are no survivors, and I've yet to locate the flight recorder.
Though the jet was fragmented, there was one engine fully intact, and it appears to be engine failure.
So I'd like to offer (DOOR OPENS) Whoa (BOTH CHUCKLE) - Still going strong, huh? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
I've just been pumping for 30 minutes, and I got a quarter of an ounce.
Hey, hey, go easy on yourself.
Come on, now.
Personally, I think it's amazing that a woman your age can have a baby, period.
That is so sweet of you to say.
Oh, no problem.
Hey, you found Translucent yet? - You heard about that? - Mm-hmm.
No, not yet.
Well, you know, I could search for him.
Personally.
That's not necessary.
Right.
Hey, did you hear about the mayor of Baltimore? Yeah.
Yeah.
Heard his plane went down.
Some sort of engine trouble.
Yeah, it's awful.
I saw him on Tuesday.
Had a meeting with him right here.
Wow.
Well, hug your kids, right? 'Cause you never know what might happen.
- So true.
- Mm.
You know what's interesting? The Deep told me, and only me, that there were, uh, scorch marks on the mayor's engine.
Almost as if from two small, high-intensity beams, roughly the width of human eyes.
Say what you mean to say.
Your brand is hope, baseball, America sunshine.
You don't do vengeance.
Madelyn, I heard him through the wall of this He was blackmailing you.
I am the last person you need to save.
Yeah, but I-I did it for you.
I know, but did the timing occur to you? I have half the Senate Appropriations Committee coming tonight.
(SCOFFS) How did he even know about Compound V? We are not going to talk about that.
Oh, come on, Madelyn.
You do not need to hide things from me.
I love Vought as much as you do, - and I can do more.
- You can do more? You've already grossed $12.
3 billion for us.
Right.
So the pricks on 82 can take all the fucking credit? Empty fucking suits with Cornell degrees? Come on.
I'm the one who's out there.
Not them.
I'm the one who, who-who knows the audience.
Who knows what's good for this company.
I know.
I hear you.
I do.
But what I need right now, is I need you to charm the shit out of those congressmen.
Right.
'Cause that's all I'm good for, huh? Smile, look pretty, say my lines.
Whoop, whoop, whoop.
No.
No.
You just need to let me protect you.
- Oh, you're gonna protect me? - Mm-hmm.
Gods are pure and they're perfect and they're above it all.
And they need to stay that way.
Huh You're leaking.
Thank you.
(PANTING) (SCOFFS, CHUCKLES) (PHONE CHIMES) (SIGHS) (LINE RINGING) - DAD (OVER PHONE): Hello? - Hi, Dad.
Hughie, where have you been? I've been calling hospitals.
- I'm fine.
- But the police are saying some wacko drove into Gary's store, right through the window, and then took off.
I-I thought maybe you've been hurt, or-or kidnapped.
I saw this Dateline on human trafficking Dad, I haven't been human trafficked, okay? I-I closed up early.
It must have happened after I left.
But where'd you go? Just been drinking at Anthony's.
- Blowing off steam.
- No now, I called Anthony, all right? I called everybody.
No one's seen you.
Don't lie to me.
Yeah, it's kind of hard to explain.
Hey, Dad, listen, I got to, I got to go.
Just, l-listen, I know you've been taking Robin's accident real hard.
- It wasn't an accident.
- All-all right, all right.
My point is, you're a good boy.
You're a sensitive boy.
Come home.
Okay? Before you do something stupid, come home, Hughie.
- I got to go.
- No, w-wait, Hugh (PANTING) (GRUNTS) (PANTING) Oh.
Well, I heard we had a meeting.
So, um, I'll just leave you to it.
Well, we're having a meeting right now, aren't we, Deep? You and me.
- Come on in.
- Yeah.
Sure.
So, uh, what, uh Or is there, is there anything I can, can do for you, Homelander? Well, yeah.
I-I guess, uh (SIGHS) Well, you can help me understand something, Deep, 'cause, uh (CHUCKLES): I don't know, maybe I'm stupid.
Am I stupid, Deep? What? No.
(SCOFFS) No.
You're not stupid.
(CHUCKLES) You're-you're smart.
Very smart, right? Yeah.
Okay.
So, what possible reason what, uh, razor-sharp fish instinct made you run to Stillwell and tell her what you thought you saw down there? All right, look, I-I thought I thought I, I was, uh I-I don't even know I don't know what I saw down there, as a matter of fact.
It was, it was really dark and, uh, muddy the water was really muddy.
I'm sorry.
Okay? I'm sorry.
I-I didn't I didn't really see anything down there, as a matter of fact.
(CHUCKLES) That's what I thought.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
(LAUGHING) (HOMELANDER CHUCKLES) And I trust we never have to have this conversation again.
No.
Of course not.
Just this once.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) Now go fuck Shamu in the blowhole.
Yeah.
("LA FOULE," BY YOUSSOUPHA PLAYING) Rounds coated in the same carbon metamaterial as his skin.
(SCOFFS) Will it work? Je ne sais pas.
(GUN CLICKS) HUGHIE: Guys? What are you doing? Wait! No, no, no! Wait, wait! TRANSLUCENT: Whoa, whoa, whoa! TRANSLUCENT: Ha, ha, ha, ha (LAUGHING) You stupid, fucking asshole.
I'm invincible.
You stupid motherfuckers.
(LAUGHS) I'm fucking Translucent.
I'm indestructible.
It's only a matter of time before they come for me.
You're fucking dead! Well, that was great, guys.
That was awesome.
Frenchie, back later.
Where are you going? - Got an idea.
Long shot, might help.
- Now? Yeah, well, it's all under control here, isn't it? Try not to bugger each other.
Ah, fuck me.
Fuck.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) EMPLOYEE: Oh.
Sorry, Ms.
Stillwell.
EMPLOYEE 2: Oh MADELYN: Are you Anika? Ms.
Stillwell, I didn't know that you were You look really nice.
Thank you.
Could you please show me? Yeah.
We haven't been able to ping Translucent's chip - until about five minutes ago.
- Well, where is he? Jersey City.
What the hell is he doing in Jersey City? Uh well, he's somewhere in this ten-block area.
MADELYN: That is the best you can do? ANIKA: It's possible the chip's glitching, - or there's some kind of interference - Okay.
Tell security to search the area, door-to-door if necessary.
But tell them to be discreet.
He is invisible, so it shouldn't be that hard.
Okay.
(BOAT HORN BLOWS IN DISTANCE) DEEP: Oh, wow.
What a surprise.
A water crime.
Fuck me running.
I swear to God, they only call me when there's trouble at a dock.
Or a river or a lake, canal.
A jetty.
(CHUCKLES) Fucking idiots.
I could be doing so much more.
But no, Vought just wants me to make my big pretty dives into the water and flash my fucking biceps for Instagram.
I mean, sure, four million hits a day, but still, it's fucking demeaning.
(SIGHS) What's your problem? You've had that pissy look on your face all night.
(ELECTRICAL BUZZING) Ooh.
What ? Is this about the other night again? (SCOFFS) Jesus Christ.
(CHUCKLES) Cry me a fucking river, all right? I took my share of shit when I first got here, okay? Besides, you had a crush on me, remember? That gives you no right zero right to do what you did, you pathetic asshole.
- Hey.
You shut your fucking mouth.
- Or what? You'll sic a grouper on me? I'll tell everyone you're a psycho.
- I'll go to Homelander.
- No, you won't.
See, I asked around; you're not number two around here.
You're just the fish guy.
Everyone thinks you're a joke.
Me, most of all.
I cannot believe I fell for your crap.
- You stuck-up little - You ever touch me again, I will burn your eyes out.
Understand me? (SIGHS) (CLATTERING) We'll finish this later.
You take them from the front, I'll come in from behind.
(EXHALES) HOMELANDER DOLL: I'll always STARLIGHT: Hey.
(GRUNTING) Hey, boys.
(WHOOPS) Hurry up.
Move faster.
You're amazing.
That was so great.
That was really good.
- Smile for the cameras.
- What? What the hell is this? Yeah, stand over him and say "This is lit.
" DEEP: Oh, hey, Jimmy.
Catch my dive in the water? It was fucking cherry.
Nice.
ASHLEY: Smile at the camera, Starlight.
(ALARM BEEPING) BUTCHER: Congrats on your promotion, Susan.
(WHISPERS): Jesus Christ.
Butcher.
- Madam Deputy Director, eh? - (SIGHING) Wow.
Andrew and the kids must be chuffed for you.
Keep your voice down, and don't talk about my family.
It makes my skin crawl.
What are you doing here? Just need a quick dekko at some of your files.
- My files? What files? - A couple of Supes.
Big Game, Shout Out.
Translucent, if you got him.
- Why Translucent? - Eh, nothing special, - just ticking a few boxes.
- Oh.
So you just broke into my goddamn house in the middle of the night? All right.
I'm trying to find a way to do the job on the cunt, and if it's anywhere, it'll be in Mallory's files.
- Now would you like me to keep talking? - No.
No.
Christ.
Just don't fucking say another word.
The Mallory files are dead and buried.
You're the deputy director of CIA Operations.
- Dig 'em up.
- No.
- Why not? - Because of you.
- Me? - Yes, you.
The director will shitcan anyone who even goes near those files.
You made it suicide to go after the Supes.
What are you even doing back involved in this? I mean, you have a death wish, or are you a glutton for punishment? Yeah.
A bit of both, I suppose.
Come on Susan.
Five minutes alone with a piece of paper.
For old time's sakes.
No one will know.
You-You're really trying to sell this shit? - Why, you buying it? - You think I look back fondly at the times we fucked in bar bathrooms? Oh, come on.
We had a few laughs.
Like the time you sent me the Edible Arrangement.
And what we had was you trying to use me, for a Get Out of Jail Free card at a time like this.
Well, if that's all it was, then, what's got you so hot and bothered when a simple "fuck you" would suffice? Fuck you.
Now get out of my house.
Did I mention this is life or death? I'll send an Edible Arrangement to your funeral.
Hi.
I, um I thought you might be thirsty, so Well, if you don't want it, I can always No, I want it.
Cheers.
(GULPING) HUGHIE: So, listen, um, I need to ask you some questions about A-Train.
When he, uh, burst through that woman the other day, Robin Ward.
I-I need to know why.
Where was he going? What was he doing? Why? Was she your sister? Girlfriend? Girlfriend.
(SIGHS) That's what all this is about? Christ.
What makes you think I know anything about it? I know you and A-Train were tight.
You guys came up together.
What are you, a fucking fan? Listen, those two guys in there, they want to kill you, okay? So you give me something, maybe I can What? Hold 'em off? 'Cause they hang on your every word.
You're the big man around here.
Okay, you don't want to talk, don't talk.
I tried.
Good luck.
Buddy, my superpower ain't invisibility.
You know that, right? It's reading people.
Watching them when they think they're alone.
I see people for who they really are.
I see you, too, pal.
Right.
'Cause you know me so well, right? Yeah.
I know you're trying your damnedest to be tough it's a little adorable but the truth is you're terrified.
Shitting in your tighty-whities 'cause you're "in over your head fucked", and you know it.
(INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSION) TRANSLUCENT: Hughie, I even kind of feel for you.
Your girl died, and we do crazy shit when we got broken hearts, but now every instinct is screaming at you to head for the hills, and you should listen to that instinct.
Unless we kill you first.
How? I got invulnerable skin.
I'm a fucking superhero, guy.
We fight gangs and terrorists.
We save the world daily.
I've stood in front of thousands of screaming fans, all of 'em creaming their jeans.
Uh Who are you? A water balloon filled (LAUGHING): with blood and meat.
Homelander's gonna find me, and when he does, he's gonna burst you wide open.
I'm gonna make it home in time for cocktails.
'Cause that's who you are, and that's who I am.
You're not the hero of this story.
And I'm not the one who's trapped.
Well, good luck.
I tried.
TRANSLUCENT: Great chat.
Run for the hills, Hughie.
MAN (OVER RADIO): It looks like we're losing him.
The signal's going in and out.
MAN 2 (OVER RADIO): Keep searching, another 50 feet down on the right.
(SHUDDERING) EZEKIEL: Because, thanks to Samaritan's Embrace, Asim has a bed, a ventilated cooking area, and a laptop.
But our work is not done.
There are millions more children just like Asim, who need your help.
For just $9.
99 a month.
That is only Hi, John.
Thanks for your support.
It's what makes this republic so great.
Bill.
How are the kids? (CHUCKLES) Hey.
EZEKIEL: Give to Samaritan's Embrace today, and give a child just like Asim Could I get a club soda? Ms.
Stillwell.
Senator, what can I get you? - Jack, rocks.
- You know, we have Macallan 25.
You'd be wasting it.
Whiskey's whiskey to me.
(CHUCKLES) Boy, they're blowing so much smoke up Maeve's ass, it's a miracle she doesn't die of lung cancer.
(LAUGHS) But you know it's just that, right? Smoke.
- I'm sorry? - Everyone loves to bask in their glow, but tomorrow morning no one's putting Supes into national defense.
It won't get out of committee, much less hit the floor.
Because God forbid we could have an advantage in an armed conflict.
You send a Supe over the 38th parallel, Pyongyang's gonna answer with a nuke.
Then one of my guys will catch it.
You see Robertson over there? He's got Lockheed in his state and in his pocket.
McCrea? He's got Fort Bragg and its couple thousand voters.
No one wants to outsource to you.
America runs on weapons.
Hell, it's one of the only damn things we still make.
But you are the chairman.
Where do you stand? Me? I'm just an old leatherneck.
And if I was on the line, scare the shit out of me to have Homelander there.
My heroes are the most loyal, patriotic That's just it.
They're your heroes, aren't they? Get him a Macallan 25.
(CHUCKLES) Why have average when you can have extraordinary? (CHUCKLES) Thank you.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) WOMAN: Guys, we should get back to the party.
- MAN: What? - Elena just ordered more booze.
- Come on, let's go back.
- No, no WOMAN: It'll be more fun at the party.
Please okay, don't touch me.
- (LAUGHS) - No, please, please.
Oh, no, no! Stop! No, no, no, no! Please, no, no, no, no! - The girl said no.
- Help.
We're all friends here.
Yeah, it's all good.
It's fine.
(LAUGHS) Miss, do me a favor and shut your eyes.
Fucking bitch.
(GRUNTING) (DRILLING) Fucking diamond skin.
(DOOR SLAMS) - Fuck.
- Merde! Here.
Here, take it.
What is that? It will help with your, uh, anxiety.
It's LSD and MDMA.
This is a candy flip.
It'll smooth you right out.
Take it.
Uh, thank you, but I-I don't think now is the time for a major hallucinogen.
Fais-toi plaisir.
(SNIFFS, COUGHS) What are you exactly? Chemist? Engineer? What? No.
I know a little about a lot of things.
I'm a gunrunner by trade, but, uh, as you can see, I've developed a certain niche.
Killing superheroes? No.
You can count on one hand the number of dead superheroes.
Sometimes you can, uh, incapacitate them.
Truly, they are magnificent creatures.
Mm.
Each one with a unique power that requires a unique solution.
It's, uh it's never the same twice.
Who pays you to do that? Whoever can pay.
And when you do kill a Supe or, you know, any-anyone um what's it like? You know (SNIFFS) I saw this woman once, in a midtown elevator, No more for ten seconds, I see her, huh? Stunning.
Five-nine.
Hair so black it absorbed the light, you know? Tom Ford pencil skirt, Louboutin stilettos.
C'est magnifique.
But she had, uh she had I never forget this, you see she had dirt under her fingernails and callouses on her hands, and I see this and I say, "Oh, strange for such a refined woman like this.
" What, you (CHUCKLES) You a gardener? You know, are you a sculptor? What is this, huh? And I think about this I think about her all the time.
She was the first person I ever killed.
I carry I carry them all with me.
It's like scars in a way, you know? Okay, Senator, you ready? (CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah.
Oh.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, darling.
- Mm-hmm? - You know I like to watch.
No.
Can't always be in control.
- (CHUCKLES) - Sir.
Then I guess I'll just have to feel my way through it.
Oh, you'll feel good indeed, baby.
- You ready? - Oh, I was born ready.
- Mm-hmm.
- Feels like butter, baby.
Get ready, sir.
You're going in.
Yee-haw! Giddyup, gal.
Come on.
- Oh, God.
- (LAUGHING) That-that feels different.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Hey Homelander.
Starlight.
How are you? Uh, I'm good.
Good.
Hey, is that your, uh, secret identity? - Mm-hmm.
- Charming.
Thanks.
Yeah, I-I gave up on mine oh a long time ago now.
I think I'm gonna go to sleep.
(CHUCKLES) Good night.
MADELYN: No.
No, I did not go through eight rounds of IVF and bleeding nipples to quit now.
I am doing this.
Yes.
That little kid is gonna drink my goddamn milk if it's the last thing I do.
(PUMP WHIRRING) (NARRATOR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER TV) (DRILL WHIRRING) (DRILL CLATTERS ON TABLE) NARRATOR: While scientists now believe the shell evolved to help turtles burrow underground What are you doing? Shocking our invisible friend.
I need him unconscious.
Why? Because I got it.
TRANSLUCENT: Now what the fuck do you want? - (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) - (TRANSLUCENT SCREAMS) What the fuck, Starlight?! - What? - (SPITS) (GRUNTING OVER PHONE) - Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
Oh, shit.
And so glad you did it in plain clothes, so you could blow your secret identity.
Here: "OMG.
I recognize Starlight, that's Annie January! I went to Hoover High with her.
#SheWasBulimic.
" (CLEARS THROAT) One, this was stupid.
Two, it was really stupid to do it on camera.
Always look for cameras.
- They were about to rape a girl.
- What girl? There's no girl in that video.
You get a name? No, she ran off.
Oh, great.
She ran off.
Great.
Always get a fucking name, Starlight.
Always! Well, uh They-they said Hmm.
(STAMMERING): They-they said she was a friend.
It was date rape, I think.
Great.
Well, she hasn't come forward and, statistically, she's not likely to.
So all we really have is two Delta Betas who insist they were just getting drunk in an alley until you beat them unconscious.
They're lying! I, uh Aren't I innocent until proven guilty? When you're in the big leagues? You flip it.
(EXHALES) I don't know what you were planning on doing today, hmm, with your little cute day, but you have to cancel everything, okay? You're gonna have meetings with Risk Assessment, with Crisis Management, with Legal.
Jerry is gonna lose his shit! Fuck.
Am (STARLIGHT EXHALES) Are they gonna fire me? Just be in Stillwell's office at 10:00.
What? Am I fired? Senator, I very much appreciate you coming bright and early.
I realize, uh, how busy you were last night.
These are fake.
I think we both know they're not.
Look.
I was with a young woman, all right? Of legal age.
Her name was Rhonda.
So this isn't possible.
They've (SCOFFS) obviously been doctored or something.
I'm sorry, they are authentic.
I should know.
I was there.
You what? (SQUISHING AND CRACKING) You shiver when you orgasm, sir.
Oh, Jesus.
(DOOR OPENS) That will be all, Doppelganger.
Who the fuck is he? Anyway, I would love to continue our conversation from last night.
This is some dirty fucking pool, Madelyn.
You're really gonna clutch your pearls, Senator? I don't think either one of us is that naive.
Yeah.
It's not it's not fatal to be homosexual these days.
It is in Oklahoma, sir.
Where your voters live.
Even if I get the bill out of committee, nobody's gonna vote for it on the floor.
No one wants your fucking Supes in the Army.
We'll see.
- (DOOR OPENS) - MAN: Shut up, shut up, shut up.
(INDISTINCT LOW CHATTER) ANIKA: Homelander.
(CHUCKLES) Uh wel-welcome to Crime Analytics.
- (HOMELANDER SIGHS) - Can Would you like a Red Bull? Have you found Translucent yet? Oh.
Uh, no.
But Security's on it.
He's been missing over 24 hours.
- Is he in danger? - Um Do you even know? Forget it.
I'll find him myself.
What's his last known position, please? Why don't I just call Ms.
Stillwell? - And I - No.
No, no, no, no, no.
You're talking to me.
Well, I'm not sure - I'm supposed to be talking to - (SIGHS) What's your name? - Anika.
- Anika.
Sir.
It's a beautiful name.
(ANIKA CHUCKLES) Listen, Anika.
- (QUIETLY): I'm the Homelander.
- Mm-hmm.
And I can do whatever the fuck I want.
(CHUCKLES) Okay? Now Translucent's last known position.
Please.
(TYPING) TRANSLUCENT: What the ? Something doesn't feel right.
Oh, I'll bet.
FRENCHIE: I'm not ashamed to admit I have outdone myself.
Now, the problem is the skin, no? It's, uh, hard like diamonds.
But then I realized, it is just your shell that is hard, huh? Like a turtle.
But your insides they're like the rest of ours soft.
So, how do you get to the squishy insides? Through the mouth? Non.
The stomach acid, the gag reflex.
If I stick something down your throat, you may vomit it up.
(CLICKS TONGUE) There's truly only one way The fuck did you do to me? He stuck a lump of plastique up your bum, son.
Ass bomb.
Oh, my God.
Now you stick a little finger up there and try and fish it out bang.
I trigger this also bang.
Savvy? (CRYING): Oh, please don't kill me.
I'll do anything.
(STAMMERING): I'll tell you about A-Train.
That's what the kid wants, right? I-I-I-I don't know where A-Train was going that night he killed the girl, okay, but I know where he was coming from.
What? Where? Popclaw's.
He fucking loves her.
He doesn't think anyone else knows, but I know.
I know a lot of things.
But he-he's there every night.
Maybe now, even.
Popclaw? That's the hero with the the sharp things coming out of her arms.
Yeah.
Real D-lister.
Anyone knows what A-Train was doing, it's Popclaw.
But that's all I know about that, I swear to Christ.
But I'll tell you anything else you want.
Just ask.
TRANSLUCENT: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Just ask anything.
Now, normally, that would be just what the doctor ordered.
But unfortunately for you we're out of time.
No.
No! Please! Listen, I know shit.
Dark shit! All the way to the top! Wait, wait! No, no, no, no, no! Please, wait, wait, wait.
Listen, I can help you.
I'm fucking invisible! - We can be a team.
- FRENCHIE: Butcher! No, please, please, please! Please, I can A moment, s'il vous plait.
(TRANSLUCENT CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) Here.
HUGHIE: What is that? Homelander.
HUGHIE: That's Homelander? Homelander's here? Oh, shit.
Oh, shit! (EXHALES) He could see us.
He's got X-ray vision.
He can see through the fucking roof.
And super fucking hearing.
You pull that detonator, he will hear.
Homelander.
We got to throw him off the scent.
But how? Pittsburgh.
Oh, you cannot be serious, huh? Deadly.
FRENCHIE: You know how much this will cost me? Put it on the tab.
Guys?! Where is it? Back door panel.
(LINE RINGING) - Look, the mall shooting's a tragedy.
- (PHONE RINGING) I'm just saying, if more people were armed, maybe I wouldn't have to save the day every time.
- NEWSMAN: So, in a situation - (SIGHS) Hello? FRENCHIE: Cherie.
It's a burn.
You're joking.
Now? No joke, I'm afraid.
(SIGHS) Fine.
I'll be ready in three.
(EXHALES) BUTCHER: Come on.
Frenchie, I'm getting shit reception here.
Well, figure it the fuck out, huh? Come on.
(KNOCKING) HOMELANDER: Evening.
Holy shit.
You're the Homelander.
I am talking to the Homelander.
Mm-hmm.
Sir, I need to see some ID.
Get the fuck back in that cage.
Just take it easy.
Okay? HOMELANDER: You doing out here? This is my place.
We I'm, uh I'm opening a Fogo de Chao.
You know what a churrascaria is? Yeah.
It's a Brazilian steakhouse.
Sir, I need to see in the back of the van.
No offense, you got a warrant or something? Well, if you got nothing back there, then you got nothing to worry about, right? (FRENCHIE CHUCKLES) Please get back in the cage.
I'm not getting back in that cage, man.
I do, I am dead.
Yeah, well, if you don't you're dead.
TRANSLUCENT: Just think.
You kill me, they'll never stop looking for you.
You'll be glancing over your shoulder your whole life till they find you, which they will.
(DISTANT EXPLOSION) FRENCHIE: Everything all right, sir? Look, you let me go you'll be the hero that saved Translucent.
It's not too late.
You can still go home.
Back to your life.
(DETONATOR SAFETY CLICKS) Attaboy.
(PANTING) (HIGH-PITCHED RINGING) Hello, Daddy Hello, Mom I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb Hello, world, I'm your wild girl I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb, cherry bomb Stone age love and strange sounds, too Come on, baby, let me get to you Bad nights causin' teenage blues Get down, ladies, you've got nothin' to lose Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb Hello, world, I'm your wild girl I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb (MOANING) Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb Hello, world, I'm your wild girl I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb Oh Hey, street boy, want some style? Your dead-end dreams don't make you smile I'll give you something to live for Have you and grab you until you're sore Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb Hello, world, I'm your wild girl I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry bomb, cherry bomb (ECHOING): Cherry bomb!