The Boys Presents: Diabolical (2022) s01e02 Episode Script
An Animated Short Where Pissed-Off Supes Kill Their Parents
- [SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
- [GUNSHOTS]
THE NARRATOR: A Supe's powers
first emerge when they're kids,
still living with their parents.
But what happens
when those parents discover
their kids didn't get
the big-ticket powers,
like flight or laser eyes?
They dump 'em here,
a shit home
for kids with shit powers.
Exhibit A, Mo-Slo.
Probably piss his pants before
he ever reaches the bathroom.
Then there's Boombox.
- [SNIFFING]
- He's got a speaker for a face,
but all he can play is
"Only Wanna Be with You"
by Hootie & the Blowfish.
- [GRUNTING]
- That's Fang, with teeth
- that can cut through almost anything.
- [GROANING]
- Oy! [GRUNTING]
- And that's Kingdom.
He can turn into any animal.
But he transforms body and mind.
[HOOTING]
At least he seems happy as fuck.
That Mexican flag-colored liquid
in the kiddie pool?
That's Aqua Agua.
But he can't turn into
a tidal wave or anything cool.
He just sits there,
'cause he's fuckin' water.
That's Big.
He's just really big.
His best friend is Human Tongue.
She's 100% muscle
with no bones.
Picante Balls.
He can melt anything
with his testicles.
Ranch Dressing Cum Squirter.
That one's self-explanatory.
Boobie Face.
Then there's Ghost.
Sure, she can walk
through walls,
but she can't touch anything
or be touched.
Or eat food.
Not that she needs to,
except she still gets hungry.
[SIGHS]
[KINGDOM] Ghost!
Ghost! Get in here!
- Check this out.
- NEWSWOMAN: files detail how superheroes
aren't born-- they're made.
With this. Compound V is
a controversial new product
made by Vought
- They said we'd be rich with a superhero kid.
- [SNIFFLING]
- Not this freak.
- [CRYING]
GHOST'S MOM: We just want
our lives back, okay?
- I'm hungry.
- There!
Do you see
what we have to deal with?
The two of you are more than
capable of raising this child.
It's not our job to take care
of Vought's mistakes, okay?
It's yours.
We're leaving you here.
This was a mistake.
[CRYING]
GHOST'S DAD: Let's get in the goddamn car
before she follows us home.
[CRYING]
THE NARRATOR: That's Flashback.
He can, well, you know
So Supes are manmade?
We were injected as babies.
Oh, my God.
Our parents chose
to do this to us.
[SCOFFS]
Bet they thought they'd get rich
having famous superhero kids.
But instead they got us.
[SCOFFS]
Think of how cold
these people must be
to abandon
their own flesh and blood
just because we were
an inconvenience.
Well, what goes around
comes around, cocksuckers.
It's time
for a family fucking reunion!
THE NARRATOR: These kids
had been underestimated
their entire lives,
and now it was finally going
to pay off.
- No, I don't know where they went.
- Some of us stayed behind,
not wanting to get wrapped up
in the quest for vengeance.
That's right.
I'm the one talking.
I'm a Supe, too, and my power is
I always tell people
what's going on.
I'm the Narrator.
I contemplated that as Barb,
- the head nurse, entered the foyer.
- Of course I called Vought.
As Barb wheeled
her favorite patient away,
she thought about how butch
and beefy he looked
and what it would be like
to suck on his huge
Oh, come on, Paul.
[♪♪♪]
You know,
I could've had a normal life
without dangly tits for a face.
Do you know how much time
I've spent eating dog shit
as a dog?!
Yeah, right?
[RANTS UNINTELLIGIBLY]
But it's been years.
How do we find our parents?
We go see Denis Fletcher,
director
of Vought parental protection.
Let's go get his ass.
[INHALES, GROANS]
I don't know
what you want me to say.
Compound V is unpredictable.
Some kids end up able to fly,
and others, like yours,
shit poison.
But, yes, we'll take the kid
and help you move.
You just can't, you know,
talk about it.
Ever.
- [GROWLS]
- Fuck my tits!
- [WHIMPERING, GRUNTS]
- [GRUNTS]
Kingdom, constrict him.
- [WHIMPERING]
- [CHUCKLES]
[HISSING]
[SHOUTS, GRUNTS]
[HISSING]
Shit. Someone get him.
Wow, you guys really suck, huh?
[YELLS]
Ow! Ow! Okay!
What the fuck do you want?!
We want the files
on our parents.
What? It's literally my only job
not to do that.
Forget it!
You'll never find those files.
You're up, Papers!
That's right. My name is Papers.
I-I wasn't introduced
in the beginning,
but 'cause they th
Maybe I'm not that important,
but I can locate any papers
anywhere.
And I'm pretty good.
Showtime.
[♪♪♪]
[YELLS, GRUNTS]
[PAPERS] There are a lot
of papers in this place though.
There are a lot of them.
I cannot What is this,
a note to b It's a
That's a grocery list.
Okay, I-I'm noticing I might
have a bit of a weak spot
in understanding
what's on what paper and
- Found 'em!
- Oh, you probably heard
the papers rattling inside there
because of me.
- Whoo, all right, teamwork. We did it. I did it
- This is it.
Our parents' addresses.
Boombox, give me
some violent montage music.
[GRUNTS]
[GROANS]
[HOOTIE & THE BLOWFISH: "ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU"]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[YELLS]
What?
I thought we got rid of you!
- [GASPING, YELLING]
- You and me ♪
- We come from different worlds ♪
- [GRUNTING] Oh, yeah.
- [GRUNTING]
- You like to laugh at me ♪
- When I look at other girls
- What?
- Aw, shit.
- AQUA AGUA: Now!
- [GRUNTS]
- [YELLS]
- [BABBLING]
- Then you wonder why ♪
I'm such a baby 'cause
the Dolphins make me cry ♪
- [MUFFLED] Well, there's nothing I can do ♪
- [GRUNTS]
- No. It can't be!
- I've been looking for a girl like you ♪
[VOLUME INCREASES]
[SCREAMING]
You look at me ♪
You've got nothing left
to say ♪
- [SNORES]
- I'll only pout at you
- [GASPING]
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- We had to get rid of you.
- [SNIFFING, GROWLS]
You were shitting
all over the rugs!
- [SCREAMS] Oh, my rugs!
- [WHIMPERING]
- My rugs!
- [GRUNTING]
[SNARLING]
[OWL HOOTING]
[BARKING, SQUEAKING]
Is this the right house?
It's the right house.
That's my mom.
She seems kind of nice.
Hey, uh, Flashback,
can you show us
what this lady did
to deserve this?
[CACKLING]
[CRYING]
Jesus! Fuck!
Kill the bitch!
- [GUNSHOTS]
- [SCREAMING]
- [THUD]
- [GROWLS]
- [BARKS]
- [SCREAMING]
- Wha Oh. Oh, oh, oh.
- [SQUEAKING]
- [BABBLING]
- I only wanna be with you
[SNORES] Uh, what?
[COUGHS]
What? Son.
What-what are you doing here?
[DRAWN-OUT]
I'm
- killing
- What?
You're doing
- Killing me?
- you
Oh, you're-you're trying to
you're trying
- to strangle me.
- Don't
- make
- Oh. Oh. [COUGHS] Okay.
Getting a little tighter.
Oh. Oh. Ack.
- All right. There we go. Okay. Yeah.
- fun of
Now you're strangling me.
- Oh, boy. Well, this is really painful.
- me
[CHOKING] Oy. How much longer
you reckon this is gonna take?
[MUMBLED]
It takes as long as it takes.
Why did I ask you?
Oh, geez.
Okay. Okay!
[EXHALES]
- You can call me your fool ♪
- [GRUNTS]
- I only wanna be with you
- [GRUNTS, SPITS]
[SIZZLING]
[LAUGHING]
Yeah, I'm tangled up ♪
- In blue
- [MOANING]
Yeah. Oh, that's good.
- Huh?
- [SCREAMING]
Shrimp girls, wait! Help me!
- Shrimp girls! Shrimp girls!
- [CLANGS]
No, wait! No, no!
- [SIZZLING]
- [YELLING]
[SCREAM ECHOES]
I only wanna be with you ♪♪
GHOST'S MOM: Carl! Open another box
of pinot grigio!
Mommy's thirsty.
Huh?
Oh, it's you.
I told your mom once the truth
about Compound V came out
we'd see you again.
What do you want?
What-what do I want?
[SCOFFS]
I want to feel, but I can't.
I-I want to touch or-or eat
or taste,
but I I can't.
I even want to die!
But I can't.
So, Dad
[SNIFFLES]
instead, I want to kill the
small bit of me that's in you.
What?
[♪♪♪]
- Huh?
- Papers.
- [GASPING]
- [GROWLS]
[YELLS, PANTING]
You sick freaks.
Get away from me!
[CHOKED GRUNTING]
- You fuckin' monsters.
- [MO-SLO] [DRAWN-OUT] Like
[GRUNTING]
- this?
- Come on! Come on!
- Yeah.
- [WHIMPERING]
Just like this.
[YELLING]
[SCREAMING]
[CHOKING, GROANING]
[SNIFFLES]
I did it.
[GASPS]
[CHOKING CONTINUES]
[GASPING]
[♪♪♪]
[WHIMPERS]
[DISTORTED YELLING]
GHOST'S MOM: Carl! Carl!
Are you okay?
I called Vought and
[GASPING, CRYING]
You monster!
[SOBS]
I wish you were never born!
[CRYING]
Love you, too, Mom.
[SNIFFLES]
Uh, don't worry.
I'll be back one day.
Homelander, once again
THE NARRATOR: Sure, Vought's shitty
cover-up worked.
But thanks to Ghost, all
the orphans knew the truth now.
And since she gave us
the list of addresses,
how could the Narrator not pay
his folks a friendly visit?
Paul, Paul, please!
We-we only gave you Compound V
because we loved you!
We-we wanted
we wanted you to be special!
"But you weren't special enough
to keep," his dad thought.
- No. No, no.
- The Narrator wheeled over to his father
- and put a spoon to his chin.
- No. Ow. Oh, no, no.
- THE NARRATOR: He dug with the spoon
- [CHOKED GROANING]
and scooped his dad's face off.
Then he put his dad's face on his own,
so that his face
was his dad's face,
and looked in the mirror
and said,
"I'm sorry for being selfish, son.
I love you."
[HOOTIE & THE BLOWFISH: "I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU"]
You and me ♪
We come
from different worlds ♪
You like to laugh at me
when I look at other girls ♪
Sometimes you're crazy ♪
And you wonder why ♪
I'm such a baby 'cause
the Dolphins make me cry ♪
Well, there's nothing
I can do ♪
I've been looking
for a girl like you ♪
You look at me ♪
You've got nothing
left to say ♪
I'll only pout at you
until I get my way ♪
I won't dance ♪
You won't sing ♪
I just want to love you
but you want to wear my ring ♪
Well, there's
nothing I can do ♪
I only wanna be with you ♪
You can call me your fool ♪
I only wanna ♪
- [SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
- [GUNSHOTS]
THE NARRATOR: A Supe's powers
first emerge when they're kids,
still living with their parents.
But what happens
when those parents discover
their kids didn't get
the big-ticket powers,
like flight or laser eyes?
They dump 'em here,
a shit home
for kids with shit powers.
Exhibit A, Mo-Slo.
Probably piss his pants before
he ever reaches the bathroom.
Then there's Boombox.
- [SNIFFING]
- He's got a speaker for a face,
but all he can play is
"Only Wanna Be with You"
by Hootie & the Blowfish.
- [GRUNTING]
- That's Fang, with teeth
- that can cut through almost anything.
- [GROANING]
- Oy! [GRUNTING]
- And that's Kingdom.
He can turn into any animal.
But he transforms body and mind.
[HOOTING]
At least he seems happy as fuck.
That Mexican flag-colored liquid
in the kiddie pool?
That's Aqua Agua.
But he can't turn into
a tidal wave or anything cool.
He just sits there,
'cause he's fuckin' water.
That's Big.
He's just really big.
His best friend is Human Tongue.
She's 100% muscle
with no bones.
Picante Balls.
He can melt anything
with his testicles.
Ranch Dressing Cum Squirter.
That one's self-explanatory.
Boobie Face.
Then there's Ghost.
Sure, she can walk
through walls,
but she can't touch anything
or be touched.
Or eat food.
Not that she needs to,
except she still gets hungry.
[SIGHS]
[KINGDOM] Ghost!
Ghost! Get in here!
- Check this out.
- NEWSWOMAN: files detail how superheroes
aren't born-- they're made.
With this. Compound V is
a controversial new product
made by Vought
- They said we'd be rich with a superhero kid.
- [SNIFFLING]
- Not this freak.
- [CRYING]
GHOST'S MOM: We just want
our lives back, okay?
- I'm hungry.
- There!
Do you see
what we have to deal with?
The two of you are more than
capable of raising this child.
It's not our job to take care
of Vought's mistakes, okay?
It's yours.
We're leaving you here.
This was a mistake.
[CRYING]
GHOST'S DAD: Let's get in the goddamn car
before she follows us home.
[CRYING]
THE NARRATOR: That's Flashback.
He can, well, you know
So Supes are manmade?
We were injected as babies.
Oh, my God.
Our parents chose
to do this to us.
[SCOFFS]
Bet they thought they'd get rich
having famous superhero kids.
But instead they got us.
[SCOFFS]
Think of how cold
these people must be
to abandon
their own flesh and blood
just because we were
an inconvenience.
Well, what goes around
comes around, cocksuckers.
It's time
for a family fucking reunion!
THE NARRATOR: These kids
had been underestimated
their entire lives,
and now it was finally going
to pay off.
- No, I don't know where they went.
- Some of us stayed behind,
not wanting to get wrapped up
in the quest for vengeance.
That's right.
I'm the one talking.
I'm a Supe, too, and my power is
I always tell people
what's going on.
I'm the Narrator.
I contemplated that as Barb,
- the head nurse, entered the foyer.
- Of course I called Vought.
As Barb wheeled
her favorite patient away,
she thought about how butch
and beefy he looked
and what it would be like
to suck on his huge
Oh, come on, Paul.
[♪♪♪]
You know,
I could've had a normal life
without dangly tits for a face.
Do you know how much time
I've spent eating dog shit
as a dog?!
Yeah, right?
[RANTS UNINTELLIGIBLY]
But it's been years.
How do we find our parents?
We go see Denis Fletcher,
director
of Vought parental protection.
Let's go get his ass.
[INHALES, GROANS]
I don't know
what you want me to say.
Compound V is unpredictable.
Some kids end up able to fly,
and others, like yours,
shit poison.
But, yes, we'll take the kid
and help you move.
You just can't, you know,
talk about it.
Ever.
- [GROWLS]
- Fuck my tits!
- [WHIMPERING, GRUNTS]
- [GRUNTS]
Kingdom, constrict him.
- [WHIMPERING]
- [CHUCKLES]
[HISSING]
[SHOUTS, GRUNTS]
[HISSING]
Shit. Someone get him.
Wow, you guys really suck, huh?
[YELLS]
Ow! Ow! Okay!
What the fuck do you want?!
We want the files
on our parents.
What? It's literally my only job
not to do that.
Forget it!
You'll never find those files.
You're up, Papers!
That's right. My name is Papers.
I-I wasn't introduced
in the beginning,
but 'cause they th
Maybe I'm not that important,
but I can locate any papers
anywhere.
And I'm pretty good.
Showtime.
[♪♪♪]
[YELLS, GRUNTS]
[PAPERS] There are a lot
of papers in this place though.
There are a lot of them.
I cannot What is this,
a note to b It's a
That's a grocery list.
Okay, I-I'm noticing I might
have a bit of a weak spot
in understanding
what's on what paper and
- Found 'em!
- Oh, you probably heard
the papers rattling inside there
because of me.
- Whoo, all right, teamwork. We did it. I did it
- This is it.
Our parents' addresses.
Boombox, give me
some violent montage music.
[GRUNTS]
[GROANS]
[HOOTIE & THE BLOWFISH: "ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU"]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[YELLS]
What?
I thought we got rid of you!
- [GASPING, YELLING]
- You and me ♪
- We come from different worlds ♪
- [GRUNTING] Oh, yeah.
- [GRUNTING]
- You like to laugh at me ♪
- When I look at other girls
- What?
- Aw, shit.
- AQUA AGUA: Now!
- [GRUNTS]
- [YELLS]
- [BABBLING]
- Then you wonder why ♪
I'm such a baby 'cause
the Dolphins make me cry ♪
- [MUFFLED] Well, there's nothing I can do ♪
- [GRUNTS]
- No. It can't be!
- I've been looking for a girl like you ♪
[VOLUME INCREASES]
[SCREAMING]
You look at me ♪
You've got nothing left
to say ♪
- [SNORES]
- I'll only pout at you
- [GASPING]
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- We had to get rid of you.
- [SNIFFING, GROWLS]
You were shitting
all over the rugs!
- [SCREAMS] Oh, my rugs!
- [WHIMPERING]
- My rugs!
- [GRUNTING]
[SNARLING]
[OWL HOOTING]
[BARKING, SQUEAKING]
Is this the right house?
It's the right house.
That's my mom.
She seems kind of nice.
Hey, uh, Flashback,
can you show us
what this lady did
to deserve this?
[CACKLING]
[CRYING]
Jesus! Fuck!
Kill the bitch!
- [GUNSHOTS]
- [SCREAMING]
- [THUD]
- [GROWLS]
- [BARKS]
- [SCREAMING]
- Wha Oh. Oh, oh, oh.
- [SQUEAKING]
- [BABBLING]
- I only wanna be with you
[SNORES] Uh, what?
[COUGHS]
What? Son.
What-what are you doing here?
[DRAWN-OUT]
I'm
- killing
- What?
You're doing
- Killing me?
- you
Oh, you're-you're trying to
you're trying
- to strangle me.
- Don't
- make
- Oh. Oh. [COUGHS] Okay.
Getting a little tighter.
Oh. Oh. Ack.
- All right. There we go. Okay. Yeah.
- fun of
Now you're strangling me.
- Oh, boy. Well, this is really painful.
- me
[CHOKING] Oy. How much longer
you reckon this is gonna take?
[MUMBLED]
It takes as long as it takes.
Why did I ask you?
Oh, geez.
Okay. Okay!
[EXHALES]
- You can call me your fool ♪
- [GRUNTS]
- I only wanna be with you
- [GRUNTS, SPITS]
[SIZZLING]
[LAUGHING]
Yeah, I'm tangled up ♪
- In blue
- [MOANING]
Yeah. Oh, that's good.
- Huh?
- [SCREAMING]
Shrimp girls, wait! Help me!
- Shrimp girls! Shrimp girls!
- [CLANGS]
No, wait! No, no!
- [SIZZLING]
- [YELLING]
[SCREAM ECHOES]
I only wanna be with you ♪♪
GHOST'S MOM: Carl! Open another box
of pinot grigio!
Mommy's thirsty.
Huh?
Oh, it's you.
I told your mom once the truth
about Compound V came out
we'd see you again.
What do you want?
What-what do I want?
[SCOFFS]
I want to feel, but I can't.
I-I want to touch or-or eat
or taste,
but I I can't.
I even want to die!
But I can't.
So, Dad
[SNIFFLES]
instead, I want to kill the
small bit of me that's in you.
What?
[♪♪♪]
- Huh?
- Papers.
- [GASPING]
- [GROWLS]
[YELLS, PANTING]
You sick freaks.
Get away from me!
[CHOKED GRUNTING]
- You fuckin' monsters.
- [MO-SLO] [DRAWN-OUT] Like
[GRUNTING]
- this?
- Come on! Come on!
- Yeah.
- [WHIMPERING]
Just like this.
[YELLING]
[SCREAMING]
[CHOKING, GROANING]
[SNIFFLES]
I did it.
[GASPS]
[CHOKING CONTINUES]
[GASPING]
[♪♪♪]
[WHIMPERS]
[DISTORTED YELLING]
GHOST'S MOM: Carl! Carl!
Are you okay?
I called Vought and
[GASPING, CRYING]
You monster!
[SOBS]
I wish you were never born!
[CRYING]
Love you, too, Mom.
[SNIFFLES]
Uh, don't worry.
I'll be back one day.
Homelander, once again
THE NARRATOR: Sure, Vought's shitty
cover-up worked.
But thanks to Ghost, all
the orphans knew the truth now.
And since she gave us
the list of addresses,
how could the Narrator not pay
his folks a friendly visit?
Paul, Paul, please!
We-we only gave you Compound V
because we loved you!
We-we wanted
we wanted you to be special!
"But you weren't special enough
to keep," his dad thought.
- No. No, no.
- The Narrator wheeled over to his father
- and put a spoon to his chin.
- No. Ow. Oh, no, no.
- THE NARRATOR: He dug with the spoon
- [CHOKED GROANING]
and scooped his dad's face off.
Then he put his dad's face on his own,
so that his face
was his dad's face,
and looked in the mirror
and said,
"I'm sorry for being selfish, son.
I love you."
[HOOTIE & THE BLOWFISH: "I ONLY WANNA BE WITH YOU"]
You and me ♪
We come
from different worlds ♪
You like to laugh at me
when I look at other girls ♪
Sometimes you're crazy ♪
And you wonder why ♪
I'm such a baby 'cause
the Dolphins make me cry ♪
Well, there's nothing
I can do ♪
I've been looking
for a girl like you ♪
You look at me ♪
You've got nothing
left to say ♪
I'll only pout at you
until I get my way ♪
I won't dance ♪
You won't sing ♪
I just want to love you
but you want to wear my ring ♪
Well, there's
nothing I can do ♪
I only wanna be with you ♪
You can call me your fool ♪
I only wanna ♪