The Class s01e02 Episode Script

If you missed The Class last week, here's what you missed.
Ethan Haas threw a surprise party for his fiancée Joanne, and invited everyone who was in their third grade class.
Which meant that lots of people he barely knew were there to see her dump him, and break his heart.
No, Joanne.
Joanne, wait, wait.
This is the best party ever.
Holly Ellenbogen confronted her high school sweetheart Kyle Lendo, who ruined her prom when he turned out to be not so straight.
But they patched things up, and she introduced him to her husband Perry Pearl.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
Oh, my God, the traffic was vicious! That's right, husband.
Duncan Carmello reunited with the love of his life Nicole, who is now married to former NFL star Yonk Allen.
Although not so happily, which is why their night ended like this.
I don't know what this is.
And Richie Velch, in a fit of desperation, tried to end it all.
But then he met Lina Warbler, and it seemed like his life might finally turn itself around.
But then this happened.
Lina? Lina? And that's all you need to know.
Hi, hello, I'm Kat Warbler.
I just got a call that my sister Lina is in surgery.
Apparently she had some kind of an accident.
You want patient information, second floor.
Go back out the building up the stairs, past the cafeteria, and you'll see a sign.
Okay, look, Nurse Bag-- Bag-- Bagliamachshmi.
That's pretty.
I'm kind of freaking out here.
My sister has had some kind of an emergency.
Now, you are the emergency room.
How do you not know what that was? Ma'am, I didn't say I didn't know.
But only patient information can give you information regarding a patient.
So you have the information? I do.
But you can't give me the information? Right, for information about a patient, you need to go to patient information.
Patient information.
Sometimes I answer their phones.
What's going on? What's going on is I hate her.
Okay, let me talk to her.
Look, if she's not talking to me, then she is not gonna talk to you.
So thank you for the-- Nurse, I'm Dr.
Haas.
I want you to pull up Lina Warbler's chart.
I want you to page me the moment she's out of surgery.
And I need to speak the admitting physician now.
I'm going to need-- Now.
Right away, Dr.
Haas.
Wow.
You're a doctor? Do you listen to anything I say? Hi.
Hi.
We know him? Richie Velch.
He was in our class, and at my party tonight.
Party, yeah, that's rounding it up.
I'm the one who went out for coffee with your sister.
Oh, my God, what happened? Well, she was walking through the parking lot.
And, evidently, a car backed into her and kind of ran her over.
- What? - Did you see it happen? I did not.
Do they know who did it? Yes, it was a large Hispanic wom-- It was me, I did it.
It was me.
You ran over my sister?! Look, it was obviously an accident, okay? You're right, you're right.
It's not his fault at all, no.
I mean, if only they could put a reflective surface inside the car so you could see what's behind you! I am so sorry.
I am going to kill you.
I am way ahead of you on that.
The Class: Episode 2 - A note.
- I'm sorry.
I wake up, you're gone, and you just left a note.
It was polite.
And it's on my mom's pad.
So, one of the greatest nights of my entire life ends with "a doodle from the noodle of Tina Carmello.
" I should have waited for you to wake up.
I know.
But I was just afraid that if I did, I would never leave.
Nah, you would have left as soon as my mom started rolling around on her exercise ball.
Come here.
Ye, I'm gonna burn in hell.
I can't do this.
I'm married to a man I love a good percentage of the time.
We took vows.
In a church.
I wear his ri-- Oh, my God, where's my ring?! No, no, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
I found it under the bed.
Along with this.
That, by the way, not mine.
Did you want it? N o.
Look, I think you should go.
I don't want to.
I never thought I'd get to be with you again.
And last night, it was-- It was like a second chance.
I know, but-- Are you flexing? No.
Wow.
Look, last night was-- It was incredible.
But I've gotta try and make things work here.
You have to go.
This is my husband's house.
Oh, my God.
I know, it's horrible.
His last wife had taste up her ass.
No, no, no.
I've been here before.
What? Yeah.
I did a bunch of the dry wall in this place.
You're kidding.
No.
It was, like, one of my first jobs ever.
That is so wild.
Yeah.
This place is not well built.
I spoke to the attending.
She's out of surgery.
- And? - She is going to be fine.
Eventually.
What does that mean? All of her metatarsals were fractured.
Her proximal phalanx-- Okay, we get it.
You're doctor.
All of the bones in both her feet were broken.
- Oh, my God.
- All the bones.
Actually, there was one that didn't break.
So one of her bones was okay? Yeah, but turns out they had to break it to set the other ones.
But for a little while, it was okay? Oprah, Mommy wants to talk to you, please.
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm.
what smells so good? My streusel coffee cake? No.
Parmesan twists? No, it's sort of lemony.
Oh, that's me.
Oprah, honey.
Mommy and Daddy are having some friends over for brunch.
And we need you to be on your very best behavior.
- Okay? - Why? Because one of these men teaches at the school we really want you to go to, and we're hoping he can help get you in.
- Is he nice? - He's very nice.
He just happens to like Daddies more than Mommies.
Although he used to like your mommy.
Until prom night, when she walked in him and-- The end.
What a good story.
Sweetie, all that was a million years ago.
And now life is good.
You've got a real man.
Ooh, my popovers.
How long till we can see her? She'll be in recovery for another hour.
Well, I'm gonna go get some coffee.
Do you want some? Sure.
I wouldn't mind-- Are you kidding me?! I ran over a squirrel once.
Did you? I realize it's not the same.
But I know how awful I felt.
So I can only imagine-- Did you and your squirrel go out on a date first? Did you kiss it good night? Did you connect with that squirrel in a way that you've never connected with a squirrel before? I'd just seen it around the neighborhood.
So, Aaron, what do you do? I'm a software engineer for an internet security company.
Sorry? I'm a software engineer for an internet security company.
One more time.
He's a software engineer for an internet security company.
Oh, really? You got that? You just have to watch his lips.
If you'll excuse me, I have to go-- And, Kyle, I think you mentioned last night you teach first grade at Pembridge Academy.
Oh, yeah.
I don't suppose there's any way you could help us get Oprah in there? Well, I think Oprah can go pretty much wherever she wants.
She's Oprah.
Not that Oprah.
Oh, no.
Our daughter Oprah.
You'll meet her in a sec.
She's five, and Pembridge is our absolute first choice for her.
You named your daughter Oprah? I'm a fan.
There was a load-bearing beam that never got put in.
And these two studs they're way to far apart.
- For what? - For keeping the ceiling off your head.
Oh, and you see this molding? Yeah.
Okay, see that molding? That's where the contractor ran out of money.
Ooh! Okay.
My finger went right through it.
Yup.
Styrofoam.
Oh, my God, I'm living in a coffee cup.
Hi.
Hey.
Last night I was hoping that it wouldn't be as great as I remembered it.
That did not happen.
No.
But we can't do this.
I mean, we can still be friends.
No, no, I-- I don't think so.
- No? - No.
Being with you, but not being able to be with you, I think that would kind of kill me.
Yeah, me too.
I'm gonna go.
Take care of yourself.
You too.
Oh, the pool house.
You go in, you put your bathing suit on, and you get out.
Brunch was unbelievable.
Yeah, wasn't it? No one makes a pecan swirl like my Perry.
He is quite the little swirler.
It's funny.
This used to be my fantasy.
Us in our kitchen together.
Clearing up after a party.
My fantasy is I have a maid to do this.
Can I ask you a question about that night, after the prom? When I walked in on you and Michael Bernstein.
Oh, good.
I was hoping we could explore that more.
How long had you two been a thing, huh? Was it the whole time we were going out? Oh, my God, no.
No, I mean, that night was the first time that I did anything.
Ever.
I wasn't even sure I was gay.
Really? 'Cause you both looked pretty gay to me.
Nicky? Sugar? Hey.
What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming home until tomorrow.
I know.
But I told those barbecue grill boys, "I'm sorry, that infomercial's just gonna have to 'mercial without me.
I've gotta get home to my wife.
" You came back early for me? I got to feeling bad about that little talk we had in the car last night.
You did? Well, you asked me if you were the best thing that ever happened to me.
And I said you came after the Super Bowl, and dinner at the White House, and all that other stuff.
Well, that was just pure T bull.
Yeah? I was talking crazy.
You are right there.
After the Super Bowl.
You came all the way back here to tell me that? I sure did.
Now, why don't we take some steaks out of the freezer, and do it while they defrost.
Um, actually, I'm a little tired.
Oh, you didn't sleep well? Oh, no, I slept great.
Woke up early, made the bed.
That's why the bed is made.
You're acting kind of funny.
What's going on? Oh, God.
Okay.
I told you I would never lie to you, and I'm not going to.
This house is not well built.
What a horrible night.
She'll be okay.
No, I meant your party.
She was born six minutes after me.
So I'm her big sister, you know? I'm supposed to make sure that bad stuff doesn't happen to her.
It is probably doesn't help, but it could have been so much worse.
No, see, I can't go there.
I can't let myselft imagine anything worse than this.
Well, maybe one thing.
Are you gonna say my party again? I was.
Yeah.
Is she awake yet? You're still here? - I just want to talk to her when-- - In a hall, in a hall Okay, I gotta ask-- Is there actually some part of you that thinks that she might wanna see you again? Well-- No, dude! You ran her over.
There are no second dates after that.
There's no, "Oh, no, no, no, it's okay.
"I got my friend's car this time.
It's lighter!" I--I hear what you're saying, but-- Oh, do you? Do you really, you deluded foot-crushing man? You broke 52 bones in my sister's body.
She's got to be in a wheelchair for the next six months.
She is? Uh-huh.
So it's over.
You have done enough damage.
If you really want to do something nice for her, then just go away.
Um if you could just give this to her.
It's her hat.
Gravel.
Um, just tell her that, um I am so sorry.
Hey, look who's up.
Hey.
How do you feel? I can't believe it.
I met the nicest guy.
So you and Michael Bernstein? I didn't even know you guys were friends.
We weren't.
We barely knew each other from Spanish class.
- So - So.
How'd it happen? Well I can't talk about this with you.
Come on.
I know how it ends.
Well, it was prom night.
We were both pretty drunk, and, um I think I said, "Hola, Miguel," and He said, "Hola.
" And before you knew it, it was, "Ai yi yi!" Then you walked in, and it was whatever's Spanish for, "Michael, get off me.
" It's hard to believe I bought a dress for that.
Look, you have to know-- you were the last person in the world that I ever wanted to hurt.
So what happened? Was everyone else unavailable that night? Okay, enough.
W hat? I said I was sorry.
And I am.
I'm really, really sorry.
But it was ten years ago! And yes, it was awful.
But you know what? It's not just about you.
But I am-- Bah bah bah! That sounds like it's gonna be about you.
You know what? I lost my best friend that night.
Really? Oh, come here.
I hated you so much.
I know.
If you told me ten years ago someday we'd be hugging in my kitchen-- I'm still nervous we're having this conversation in a room with knives.
Well, you should be.
Unhand her! Oh, okay.
I'm sorry.
Have we been neglecting you guys? No, not to worry.
We've been entertaining ourselves.
Say it one more time.
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
Hello? Uh, Mrs.
Carmello? It's Nicole! What do you think she wants? I don't know, and you're covering the wrong end of the phone.
Just a moment, dear.
Hello? Yeah, hi, this is Nicole Allen.
We spoke at the party last night about my house.
What? I was just telling my husband about all the structural problems you mentioned, and he was wondering if you would be willing to come over and give us an estimate on how much it would cost to fix them.
Is he standing right there? Uh-huh.
But I told him how busy you are.
And so if there's no room in your schedule, then he'll completely understand.
I'll do it.
Okay.
Hello.
Yeah, don't ask me why, but she wants to see you.
Ohh