The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s01e02 Episode Script

1
PE class is my Kryptonite.
It's not that I'm bad
at physical activities.
I'm good enough to win medals
in international competitions.
That's the problem.
-Geez, what was that?
-A meteorite?
Blending in is impossible.
All right! For today's class,
we'll play dodgeball!
-But we're in high school!
-Can't we do something else?
Stop complaining!
Let's give it all we've got!
So what if it's childish?
Let's relive the days of our youth!
Come on! We'll have a ball! All right?
Well, if Hairo says so
I guess we should give it a shot.
That's our class representative,
Kineshi Hairo.
To me, he's just a hothead
with an overbearing personality,
but he's pretty popular
among the classmates.
We'll play rock-paper to decide the teams!
Okay!
Let's show them what we've got!
All right!
So, we're on the same team.
Oh well, it could have been worse.
ROCK TEAM: RIKI NENDO, SHUN KAIDO,
TAKAHASHI, AND MORE
Get ready for the jump ball.
And the game is on.
Take this!
-Nice!
-We got one!
Why are they so excited?
It's just one guy.
And why are you so sweaty?
The game just started!
Now it's our turn!
All right, Saiki
You're the first victim!
Why am I the first target?
I guess I'll take the hit.
Are you okay?
Looks like I'm out. Too bad.
Sorry guys, but PE is not my thing.
Hold it right there, Saiki!
Were you actually trying
to catch that ball?
Maybe that was too obvious.
Really? Oh, well, it's fine.
Where are you going? You're not out.
Hit in the face doesn't count!
Since when was that a rule?
And now it's my turn to throw? Great.
I can't control my strength
when I throw balls.
Saiki! Throw it like you mean it!
Like I mean it?
You make it sound so easy.
But be careful what you wish for,
or someone's going to end up dead.
They'll be out for good.
I'll just throw it as weakly as possible.
But just in case
I'll aim it at Nendo!
That was too weak.
What the heck was that?
This game is a serious business!
Put some more effort into it!
All right. Calm down already.
I appreciate you going easy on me, pal,
but we're enemies for now!
You went easy on him
because he's your friend?
Don't make me laugh.
Here it goes!
They don't call me
the Dodge Master for nothing!
Take that!
And that!
And that!
And that!
Wow! They lost six men all at once!
The paper team only got two people.
I'll leave my pal for last.
Which means you're next, captain!
Here it comes!
Bring it!
I'm catching this one!
I have to avenge my fallen comrades
even if it costs me my life!
-Saiki?
-Sorry, I guess I'm out now.
Sorry I couldn't try harder, Hairo.
I've got my reasons.
It's not over yet!
We can still do this! I'm not giving up!
-Wow, look!
-He caught it!
He saved Saiki!
Are you serious?
Oh no, he's injured!
Wait, doesn't this mean
Saiki is the only one left?
This can't be happening.
Looks like it's the end of the road
for me
Don't give up yet, damn it!
I entrust this ball to you.
I know for a fact
that you've never tapped into
your true power.
Why?
I want to see what you're capable of!
You realize that you only scraped
your knee, right?
It's all up to you now, Saiki!
You're the last man standing!
Saiki, we believe in you!
-You can do it!
-Go, Saiki!
Are you freaking serious?
ROCK TEAM: SEVEN PLAYERS
PAPER TEAM: ONE PLAYER
There's nothing I hate more
than being the center of attention.
-Saiki!
-Saiki!
Now I've got the whole class watching me.
What do I do?
-He's in quite a pickle.
-No kidding.
It's true they had the early lead
thanks to Hairo's leadership,
but then Nendo eliminated most of them.
And now Hairo is down, too.
I doubt Saiki can turn this around
on his own.
Thanks for the recap.
But as I said before, the real problem
is that all these eyes are on me.
Frankly, winning would be a piece of cake.
But then I would attract
even more attention,
and people wouldn't stop harassing me.
That's not an ideal situation.
But I can't just throw the game,
or else everyone will hate me.
I'll be targeted by bullies.
That's not an ideal situation either.
I'll end up being the center of attention
either way.
Whether I win or lose is irrelevant.
It's all about keeping
the lowest profile possible.
That's the real challenge!
The average is 41. Not too great.
The Popularity Meter.
This is an applied telepathic ability.
By reading the minds of everyone nearby,
you can measure your popularity
numerically.
I'm aiming for 50 here.
Which means that at the very least,
I should get one person out!
Stop messing around!
-What the hell are you doing?
-Now it's 20? That's a steep drop.
With a score of 20,
any girl forced to sit next you
will scream!
It appears I suck at throwing the ball.
I can easily throw it
at the speed of sound.
But that would create chaos.
Which is why this time,
I put a little spin on my slowball.
-It's over.
-I swear, that guy sucks.
Take this more seriously!
Oh, I am taking it seriously.
-I've got this!
-Time for some spin.
How the heck did he drop that?
Nice, they're back on my side.
Now, even if I get eliminated,
it should end up around 50.
I'll let the next one hit me.
Looks like it's my turn.
You know what this means, Saiki?
-It means you're finished.
-Go, Kaido!
-Great. I have to get hit by this guy?
-Don't you give up, Saiki!
Take this! Meteor Spark Genocide Ball!
-He throws like a girl!
-He throws like a girl!
What the heck was that, Kaido?
Looks like it's Saiki's lucky day.
He'd better not drop this one.
If I don't catch this,
my popularity will drop by 20!
With a score of 36,
your classmates won't put
your chair back after cleaning!
Nice! He caught it!
I can't risk using that spin trick again.
Saiki! Pass me the ball!
Let me have a go!
If I pass the ball and get more people
back into the game,
it'll take some heat off of me.
It has to reach him, though,
so I'll put some muscle into it.
Wow! Nice one!
Crap.
A score of 73 is way too high.
With a score of 73,
people will respond to your
weird greetings!
Goody goody noon!
This is for you, pal!
-All right, enough is enough.
-Oh, no!
-I guess he couldn't turn the game around.
-Oh well, he tried.
A final score of 55
-That butt belongs to
-Just in time.
-Hairo!
-Hairo!
-You again.
-Hairo is back in the game!
Saiki, seeing you fight
with such passion
It inspired me!
I couldn't care less
about your popularity score.
I'll take it from here.
Take that! And that!
Enough with your counterattack.
-I'm not like those other wimps.
-Me neither.
Fine, let's pick up where we left off!
Bring it!
With a leg like that,
there's no way he can catch Nendo's ball.
Eat this!
I guess there's no choice.
He hurt his knee because of me, after all.
I may hate being the center of attention,
but I hate being in debt
to someone even more.
Here it goes!
We did it! We turned it around!
Oh, no. A final score of 82?
I guess I'll have to keep a low profile.
Saiki is amazing!
Hey, Saiki!
That was a great match, pal!
Who knew it was so easy
to become unpopular?
-Wait, Minako said yes?
-Keep it down!
It's like Cupid shot everyone in my class.
I don't get love at all.
Take Teruhashi, for instance.
Every guy is obsessed with her.
Aren't you going to get a boyfriend?
What?
I think it's a bit too early for that.
-Really?
-The thing is, I'm not interested in her.
That's because I know who she really is.
I think students should focus on studying.
This is what I actually hear.
I don't date immature little brats.
And this is how she really looks.
They have to make
at least 40 million yen a year.
By the way, I can't control
my X-ray vision
any better than I can control
my telepathy.
Feel free to read the manga
for more details.
Anyway, that's why I doubt
that I'll ever fall in love with anyone.
Which is why
my current situation sucks so much.
You guessed it right.
He always looks so dreamy.
Meet my latest crisis, Chiyo Yumehara.
Saiki.
I just can't get you out of my mind
these days.
Saiki,
I have a crush on
What the heck was that?
This won't work.
Being weird will make me stand out.
And as I've said many times,
I hate standing out from the crowd.
I wonder what's going on in his mind.
I'll just have to crush her hopes.
And to do that
I want to get to know him better!
And to do that
-I have to get closer to him!
-I have to avoid her!
It's him!
He's by himself! Now's my chance!
Okay, let's review the plan!
First, we'll bump into each other
at the corner.
And then I'll drop the papers I'm holding.
Are you okay? Let me help you with these.
Oh, thanks!
-Sorry.
-Oh no, it's fine!
LAUGHING
You sure have small hands.
It's a perfect plan!
All right, let's do this!
Wait, what happened?
What?
On to the next plan!
I'll use this handkerchief!
First, I'll drop this by his feet.
And when he notices
Hey, you dropped this.
Oh, it smells like the sun!
This has to work!
And even if he doesn't notice
that I dropped the handkerchief,
I can just talk to him!
Give it your best shot, Chiyo!
Now, I just need to wait for him
to notice.
HEART POUNDING
Wait, he's not calling me.
That's okay. Let's move on to plan B!
That's weird!
Where did my handkerchief go?
Wait, it's still here!
What the heck? How?
Why do I keep messing up?
And so their battle of wits continued.
Did you call me?
I made some cookies in cooking class.
Feel free to
-Oh, you're too kind.
-Who the heck are you?
All of Chiyo's plans ended in failure.
Are the two of us destined
to remain apart?
Oh no, I didn't bring an umbrella.
That's it!
-See you!
-Wow, it's pouring.
Saiki is definitely the type
to have an umbrella!
Wow, it's raining cats and dogs.
You can share my umbrella if you want to.
His smile is as radiant as the sun!
This is the perfect plan!
Wait, it stopped raining?
And there's Saiki.
It's no use.
It looks like
we're not meant to be together.
Farewell, Saiki.
Farewell, Yumehara.
Forget about me and go find another guy.
-I'm sure you'll find someone soon
-Do you need an umbrella?
It's not raining anymore.
It is. I can see
it's raining in your heart.
Allow me to be your heart's umbrella.
Is this the man I'm destined to be with?
Come on, that's way too fast.
Kusuo! Help me move
some furniture, would you?
-It'll be a breeze with your powers!
-Do it yourself.
What? Well, I would,
but I already have something to carry.
See? I have to carry your mother.
You're so strong.
I'll say it again. Do it yourself.
Kusuo's parents have been sleeping
in separate bedrooms
because of marital dispute.
The fate of this troubled household
now rests with this master craftsman
Don't call me that.
Ku, you're amazing!
Our little psychic
is just the right guy for the job!
All right! It's a flying bed!
Many idiots like this one
have made the same mistake,
so let me be clear.
My powers have their limits.
Most of my abilities have
restrictions and drawbacks.
Some can only be used
under special circumstances.
Oh, my. Not sure how that got in there.
So it's a mistake to assume
my powers are limitless.
Hey, look at me!
I'm the strongest man alive!
-Are you okay, dear?
-See? I lost my powers there for a second.
-Looks like we are done.
-Good work! Here, have some tea.
Stop acting like you did the work.
I did all the work.
Oh wait, the bed is blocking
access to the balcony.
Oh no, you're right.
I would really like to move it,
but it's too heavy.
Right. If only there were someone
who could move it with ease.
That person would be a psychic.
-Only if there were a psychic nearby!
-Oh, give me a break.
Is there anyone like that around?
Just stop!
Perfect!
Now we can go out to the balcony!
How about we thank you
by giving you a little brother or sister?
Which would you prefer?
I would prefer
not to think about this topic.
-Whatever. I'll go back to my room.
-Oh, no!
Now we can't open the closet!
That's terrible!
-Now this is just right!
-This is the perfect location for sure!
Time for some tea
Are they dumb or what?
How about we knock this wall down?
Sounds like a great idea!
Kusuo, could you make this wall disappear?
Don't blame me for what happens next!
There.
Great. Thanks.
Hey, you got what you asked for.
Not a bad reaction.
This is great! We made the right call.
-Look how spacious it is!
-I know!
All this space is freaking me out!
I'm about to lose my mind.
This space over here is bothering me.
Okay, let's put something there!
-How about a TV?
-I don't know.
Maybe a sofa or a tiger rug.
What kind of choice is that?
In any case, all we have
is the sofa for now.
Time to bring it in, Kusuo!
No good!
Who's going to sit over there?
We can't have our heads facing north!
What the heck is this thing?
Now it's all humid in here!
Too many beds!
Where did this ceiling come from?
Something doesn't feel right!
This isn't working!
Let's take a break.
Honey, look.
We tore down the wall because our room
on the left was small, right?
But the room to the right is bigger!
We didn't need to break the wall.
We just needed to switch rooms!
That's it!
Really? You mean I'm right?
You sure are! You're the best!
All right, make it the way it was before!
You can do it, Ku!
Excuse me?
-It was her idea.
-Hey!
-I promise this is the last request!
-It'd better be.
After this, I'm done.
Wall, return to your original state.
You're so amazing, Ku!
The rest is up to you.
Our little love nest is finally complete!
It sure is, honey!
I forgot to mention
that this restoration ability
has a drawback.
-What?
-Where's the bed?
This ability doesn't return objects
to their original state.
It just turns back time
for the object by a day.
The thing is,
it does the same for nearby objects too.
And since it was a wall,
the whole house could've been affected.
-What the?
-What's going on?
What can I say?
I never said my powers were perfect.
-Morning!
-What's up?
Hey! You there!
-Why does your uniform look so sloppy?
-Sorry!
Tuck that shirt in
and pull those pants up!
-Yes, sir!
-More!
-Show me your bag.
-Crap, it's Matsuzaki! He's the worst!
Good grief. A surprise uniform inspection?
The issue here
is whether I can pass the inspection
or not.
And of course, the answer is
-Hey, you there! Stop!
-I can indeed.
-Do something about that hair!
-What?
After all, by all accounts,
I'm just an average student.
I received a letter the other day.
It asked, "If Saiki doesn't want
to stand out, why does he look so weird?"
Well,
here's your answer.
I look normal in this world.
Obviously, if you think about it,
I'm not normal at all.
But at school,
I'm the least noticeable person there is.
Why?
Because of my mind control ability.
I can subtly manipulate others' thoughts.
That being said, I can't
control people like robots.
If I could, I would've
gotten rid of this guy long ago.
I can make others think
that something unnatural
is actually natural.
Why is that dude wearing antennas
on his head?
Wait, could those be hair clips?
Those must be hair clips.
That's how I live my life
without standing out.
But I can't overuse this ability.
Changing how others think
affects the people around them.
Look closely.
Notice how almost no one
in this world has black hair?
Believe it or not, that's all
due to my psychic powers!
For some reason, my hair has been pink
ever since I was born.
But everyone else had black hair.
Occasionally, I would see brown hair.
Since I didn't want to stand out,
I decided to use my mind control ability
PINK HAIR ISN'T UNNATURAL
This made my pink hair
just one of several natural colors.
So people everywhere ended up
having a variety of hair colors.
And all their hair is natural, too.
I rewrote the human biology
on the genetic level.
Are you starting to realize
how dangerous this power is?
Let's get some ramen on the way home.
Actually, that's not
the only thing I changed.
Oh, no! Nendo got hit!
I'm sorry! Are you okay?
What kind of aim is that?
Sorry, Nendo.
Did you notice anything strange?
See how quickly his injury healed?
You guessed it right.
This is due to my powers as well.
When I was a kid,
healing people's injuries with my powers
would freak them out.
So I used my mind control ability.
RAPID HEALING ISN'T UNNATURAL
And since people were no longer affected
by minor injuries, they started
to think it was natural to heal quickly.
And so people's regeneration abilities
developed dramatically.
Perhaps you've noticed
some other strange things, too.
Is this a normal pitch
or his special curveball?
He usually throws curveballs first
But wait, this one's
Notice how fast he's thinking?
Strike!
I did that, too.
Humans evolved to speed up their
mental processes at critical moments.
Clothes can be ripped into pieces
while the crotch area stays intact.
Slender people can be super strong.
And a simple chop can knock people out.
I made all of these
unnatural phenomena possible.
Sure, I feel somewhat responsible
for messing with the whole world,
but it's too late to undo it.
Still, I think I managed
to get things just right.
Give me a break!
What's wrong with my uniform?
You're messing with the wrong guy!
-Come on!
-It's the Galactic Magnum-flavored Punch!
They say it can destroy the entire planet!
Eat this!
Mr. Hatakeyama!
-Stay out of this!
-Kongo. You've been blinded by rage.
You're wide open.
CHOP
He did it! He did the chop!
Are you okay, Mr. Matsuzaki?
I'm fine. That was a close one.
Of course, I made the clothes
return to normal, too.
I'm glad you're okay.
See? Not too shabby, right?
Since the title of this show
is The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.,
I'll do my best to present situations
as realistically as possible.
Next time
I'll keep knocking out episodes
taken from the manga.