The Girls on the Bus (2024) s01e02 Episode Script
She's with Her
1
Life on the campaign trail
isn't exactly glamorous.
Why are we still
sitting here?
Yeah, why haven't
we left yet?
Being away from home
for months at a time,
living out of a suitcase,
chasing sources,
and writing stories
half the country
won't believe anyway--
it can be a grind.
But there are some days
that make it all worthwhile.
Because just when you think
you know the whole story,
it changes.
Holy
shit.
- What is she doing?
- Oh, my God.
Look what was
holding up traffic.
Is that Felicity Walker?
Felicity Walker.
What the hell
is she doing here?
- Felicity Walker?
Oh, my God.
Felicity Walker--
the woman who haunted my past
and would ultimately
derail my entire future.
Of course,
I didn't know that yet.
I am the passenger ♪
It was three years ago
when my editor
asked me to cover
the first woman
with a real shot
at the White House
I'm an only child
raised by a single mom
A respected senator
who reached
across the aisle
to pass paid family leave
and a sweeping
climate change bill.
She was scrappy and blunt
and made curtain bangs
look good.
Now, as a reporter,
my job is to remain
objective, detached.
But somewhere along the way,
I found myself
rooting for Walker.
Yeah!
And I wasn't alone.
Everywhere we went,
she seemed to be
capturing hearts and minds.
crowd:
Walker, Walker, Walker!
According to Nate Silver's
statistical needle,
she was a shoo-in to become
the first woman president
and my career-defining
front-page story.
See, that's the thing about
being a campaign reporter.
Pick the right horse,
and you can ride that baby
all the way
to the White House,
TV, book deals, Pulitzers.
But then
she lost.
No one saw it coming.
In the end, it didn't matter
how it happened or why.
It happened,
and I was devastated.
That's the end
of the era of
I woke up the next morning
to find that my meltdown
went viral,
thanks to Liberty Direct News.
Somebody tell me ♪
At the time,
I thought it was
the worst thing to happen
to a political reporter.
What a difference
three years can make.
Too naughty, no die ♪
You're my ride or die ♪
You're my ride or die ♪
And remember
Yes, I know
she was at the hotel.
The whole world saw her
show up at the hotel.
But why?
Why is she here?
Where's Walker now? What--
Oh, hang on.
That's--that's my editor.
I'll call you back in five.
Bruce, I got three minutes.
What do you need?
Your latest on Caroline
feels like a clip job.
I mean, it's all sex,
no substance.
Just the way
our readers like it.
- No, dig deeper, dig deeper.
- Uh-huh.
How many donors
has she lost?
Is her party pressuring her to
drop out before the caucuses?
- Yeah.
- Do we know who
her super PAC is now
gonna get behind?
- Yeah.
- Are you even listening to me?
Of course I'm listening.
You're obsessing about Walker
being in Iowa, aren't you?
I'm not obsessing.
I am investigating,
which is my job.
No, your job is to follow
Caroline Bennett.
Now, you begged me
to put you on her bus.
I mean, you chose her.
- I--
I--to be fair, I chose her
before we found out
she starred in "Eyes Wide Shut"
the docuseries.
The fact that
Felicity Walker is in Iowa--
Is not the story
on your beat.
You have a sex scandal
involving produce.
Walker is still
the better story.
What is the story?
Why is she in town?
I--
I don't know.
She's taken you down
once, Sadie.
Do not let her do it again.
You know, I'm gonna find out
why Walker's in Iowa,
and when I do, you're gonna
front that shit on page one.
Bye.
It's so good
having you here, Senator.
And since we've known
each other for a long time,
let's just cut to the chase.
Now that Caroline Bennett's
all but out of the race,
who are you
planning to endorse?
Don't answer him, Haskin.
You're better than that.
Look at you,
watching two old white guys
like they matter anymore.
You're right.
The Supreme Court is clearly
swayed by social media,
which is why everything
is going so well for us
in this country.
Yeah, they'll die off
soon enough.
Who's that guy?
- Tim Haskin, Iowa senator.
He decides who wins the caucus.
What do you mean
Haskin decides?
The caucus is tomorrow night.
Before it starts,
Senator Haskin will go on TV
and shake hands with one
of the Democratic candidates.
That's his way of signaling
to his constituents
who he wants to win.
The sheep will follow.
My job is to find out
whose hand he's shaking
before he shakes it.
That's what you think
your job is as a journalist?
- Mm-hmm.
That's so sad.
Breaking news, yes.
Also, voters are not sheep.
And--and you know
that why?
Because of your many years
of experience
on the campaign trail?
I'm sorry that you
had to wear Spanx
just to be taken seriously.
I'd be pressed, too,
if my insides
had been cinched for a century.
But I have news for you.
The establishment
no longer decides for us.
Young people are engaged.
The world is changing.
You wanna bet?
Folks, I'm gonna ask you
to pray with me
in just a minute.
Unbelievable.
This is unbelievable.
Gary, are you seeing this?
Sorry, one second,
just confirming
you prefer orchids
to petunias.
Is Eric's mother
still bothering you
with wedding stuff?
I told her you are not
my assistant;
you're my embed.
But orchids.
- Yeah, uh, not sure
she's fully grasping
that distinction.
I will call Eric and tell him
to try to wrangle his mother.
But I need you to put your
phone down and look at this.
That's right, Rick.
In response
to the sickening revelations
inside the Bennett campaign,
the president
- How many is that?
- Three.
Three in the last 12 hours,
and it's always
the same statement.
He's disgusted.
She's disgusting.
Variations on a theme.
This is supposed to be
our story, Gary.
We're the ones
on Caroline's bus.
We should be the ones
covering her scandal.
Caroline
is talking right now,
and we're not filming it, so--
The woman inserted a mango
into her own nether regions
and allowed a man to eat it
out of her in public.
And mangoes
can be so stringy.
They're calling this
a sex club,
but there's gotta be
more to the story.
Does it need more?
Maybe not, but if this
is gonna be the thing
that takes her
out of the race,
let's make sure
it's for a good reason.
Like you getting on TV
instead of Nellie Creamsicle?
Exactly.
Okay, grab your gear.
- All right.
Accountability and atonement
are my responsibility
Hey.
Did I miss anything good?
If you did,
do you think I'd tell you?
And I know
some of you folks thought,
well, she's just gonna
run away.
She's just gonna go home
after that vicious attack.
crowd: No!
- Well, no, no, to be perfectly
honest with you,
that thought did cross my mind
more than once last night.
But then I got a call
from a friend,
a friend who believes
in what it is
I'm trying to do here,
a friend who reminded me
that when
the going gets tough
The tough stay put!
- Felicity Walker!
You keep saying
you've got something for me ♪
Surprise!
My good friend
Caroline Bennett.
- We love you, Felicity!
These boots
are made for walkin' ♪
And that's just
what they'll do ♪
One of these days,
these boots ♪
Are gonna
walk all over you ♪
- Yeah.
- Walker is throwing
her support behind Bennett.
Of course it makes sense.
I told you
she was a better story.
I mean, yes,
they do seem close,
but I don't think
we can call them lovers.
Yeah, lube,
that's totally fine.
My manager.
I have to find a way to work
SlippyDippy Intimacy Gel
into American workers
getting fucked,
which I think is a cute collab.
- I'm sorry. Sorry.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
I think that's
Branded content
is the future of journalism.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Bennett's meeting
with the "Register's"
editorial board later today.
Okay, bye.
I am gonna punch
the perky right out of you
if you don't calm down.
- Oh, come on.
Even you have to admit
that this is cool.
Walker showing up to support
another female candidate
just proves that she is
exactly who we thought she was.
Exactly who you
thought she was.
I still have no idea why
You are so obsessed with her.
I'm not obsessed.
I'm inspired.
She's inspiring.
She is power-hungry,
like every other politician.
The only reason Walker is here
is because she is desperate
to remain relevant.
That's a darker take.
But if she'd won--
- She didn't.
- And that's on us.
The--us--not--
not us the media.
Like, us, the general--
like, the voters, us.
Sadie McCarthy.
Don't look at me like that.
I had no idea you were so--
What, stupid,
naive, gullible, what?
Hopeful.
If I ever see you
in a pussy hat
I am kicking
your pussy off the bus.
Of all the midrange hotel
buffets in all the towns
- Uh-uh, no, not doing this.
- What's your problem?
You should be measuring
your office in the West Wing.
Your candidate was dead.
Carlos Danger dead.
But what--what--
what is that I hear?
Do I hear a--
Oh, God damn it,
how can they be out
of Swiss cheese already?
That's a heartbeat, baby.
Caroline Bennett in the house.
Vital signs are looking good.
Mm. Sadie.
Look, I am very unhappy,
and now there is no cheese.
Can you take all this
way down to, like, a two?
I need you at a two.
- Walker's gonna save Bennett.
- That's the plan.
Not that I had
any say in the plan.
You know, you'd think I would,
seeing as it's,
I don't know, my job,
but as it turns out,
Bennett doesn't give a shit
what I think, so
So here's what I'm thinking.
I'm thinking a Q&A with me,
Bennett, and Walker--
simple, straight to the point.
Huh.
How's this for simple?
Hey, hey.
Caroline doesn't care
what you think because
because that's actually
not your job.
Are you her campaign manager,
her chief strategist?
Are you her best friend who
was with her in the sixth grade
when she got her first period?
No, you're her press secretary.
That is your job.
Only a man would think
he should have influence
over what a 62-year-old
female presidential candidate
should be doing
to stay in the race.
She lied to you.
That sucks.
She lied to me, too,
but I'm still here.
So why don't we pull up
our big-kid pants
and win this thing, shall we?
Hmm.
I'll take that as a yes.
The Iowa Main Street Parade.
One last opportunity
for presidential hopefuls
to rub elbows with the Iowans
before the caucus.
It might look innocent,
but it's actually a bloodbath.
And by the end of tomorrow,
one of these candidates
won't be left standing.
Senator Walker!
Senator Walker,
it's "The Sentinal"!
Same goes for the reporters
covering them.
We love you, Felicity.
And I love Caroline Bennett.
This woman here
is the real deal.
Make sure to come out
for her on Tuesday.
Senator Walker!
Okay. Lube.
Butter.
Lube.
Butter.
There's gotta be
something here.
I know.
Not only that, I ate
mac and cheese on a stick.
I had peanut butter and jelly
on a stick.
I had catfish on a stick.
Okay, we can do
a few questions,
but let's
keep it brief, please.
Governor has a tight schedule.
Yes. Right here.
Kimberlyn Kendrick,
Liberty Direct News.
Governor, in light
of recent revelations
about your involvement
with a fringe sex group,
what would you say to Iowans
concerned that your values
don't align with theirs?
I think Iowans know,
as most Americans do,
that the Resolute Desk isn't
in the president's bedroom
for good reason.
The government
shouldn't be involved
in the private lives
of consenting adults.
Is that the same thing
you would say to your daughter?
Okay. That's it for now.
Thank you, everyone.
- Hey, hey.
You said a few questions.
- Thank you.
- Governor Bennett!
Governor Bennett.
You said a few.
Hey.
So you kind of ruined it
for the rest of us back there.
And I know we answer
to different people
who want very different
things, but--
No, I'm pretty sure we answer
to the same people:
the American public.
And all they want is the truth.
Nice try,
but Liberty Direct News
doesn't give a shit
about the truth.
You care, though, which is
why I'm appealing to you--
If you say as a woman,
this conversation is over.
As a journalist
who's in the same spot as I am,
trying to remain objective
with a story
that is fundamentally
not objective.
If Bennett were a man,
we would--
I would be going after him
in the exact same way.
Oh, yeah? You'd be asking him
how his children feel?
Really?
That's bullshit.
Walker's support is going to
give Bennett a second chance,
which means
we get to stay on the trail.
Fuck the trail.
She lied.
And I think
that once you've lied,
it is a journalist's job
to make sure
there aren't other,
bigger lies hiding.
That's what I'm doing,
and that's what you
should be doing, too,
but instead you're spinning.
You might think
that what Caroline did
was just embarrassing,
but a lot of voters
would call lust and gluttony
two of the seven deadly sins
and would expect more
from their president.
Maybe you should too.
Hi. Do we know who Haskin
is endorsing yet?
Because I feel like
with Walker here,
he might have changed his mind.
And if he is, throwing
his support behind Bennett--
- It's not gonna be Bennett.
Then why do you even care?
'Cause if she goes down,
we're off the trail.
So be it.
I miss my Pratesi sheets.
And why the shit
does this girl have
900 posts of her eyebrows?
Who's Lauren H?
Lauren H is
Senator Haskin's granddaughter,
who is cockblocking
my very important standing date
with Senator Haskin's wife,
which means
that I now have to--
Kill her?
Or find something better
for her to do.
If I can get
her grandmother alone,
I can pry Haskin's choice
out of her.
Ask Lola.
She'll know what to do.
Or better yet, ask Lola
to hang out with her.
I can't ask Lola.
We made a bet.
She thinks what I'm doing
is irrelevant,
that the world has changed.
What did you bet?
If Haskin's pick wins Iowa,
Lola has to read
Janet Malcolm.
- Maybe learn something
about what we're doing here.
- Malcolm?
And if they don't?
Haskin's pick always wins.
I just have to find out
who it's gonna be
before my father does.
Mm-hmm.
Senator Walker.
It is--it's quite a thing,
you being here, Senator.
Your support
of Governor Bennett
is very meaningful.
If you wanted
to give me a quote--
I don't.
Thank you.
Ah.
It doesn't have to be now.
You must be exhausted.
You don't look exhausted.
You always manage
to look so well-rested.
How do you do that?
But I was thinking
maybe a Q&A, or, you know,
maybe we could do a sit-down.
I'd love for the "Sentinal"--
Sadie McCarthy.
Still as bumbling
as ever, I see.
- I'm sorry?
- You should be.
You and your newspaper
ruined my life.
You cost me the presidency
with your snark
and your sarcasm
disguised as wit and whimsy.
And that viral meltdown
that set women back 100 years,
that was embarrassing.
You wanna give Bennett
a shot at the White House?
Stay the fuck away from her.
Hmm.
Just how cool
could a cool thing hit ♪
If a cool thing
got more cool, real cool ♪
Yeah, do your thing
with a bang, bang, bang ♪
And it goes like
boom, boom, boom ♪
If a cool thing
got more cool, real cool ♪
Yeah, do your thing
with a bang, bang, bang ♪
And it goes like
boom, boom, boom ♪
I need a favor.
You want free lube,
don't you?
It's not a problem; they
gave me, like, a whole case.
A friend of mine would love
to pick your brain.
If you agreed to meet
with her tomorrow morning,
it would really help me out.
Wow.
This must be giving you,
like, actual hives.
Sure, no problem.
I love an opportunity
to speak to my base.
Journalists don't have bases.
It's possible we have
a different definition
of the word "journalist."
- There's only one definition.
Do you want my help or not?
- Yes.
- Cool.
Oh, when I win the bet,
you don't just have
to download TikTok.
You have to dance on it
for my page.
Bye.
Okay, bad news.
They were out of Ding Dongs.
- Shh, shh, shh.
Yes, of course.
Whatever time works best
for your mom,
I'm gonna be there.
Okay.
Sounds good, Delia.
No, you get some rest.
Okay, who's Delia?
Delia Brown is the daughter
of Amanda Brown,
who was a participant
in Caroline Bennett's sex club
and is willing to give me
an exclusive interview.
Kimberlyn,
that is a very big deal.
So let's go over
your last batch of questions,
and then we can compare notes.
Okay, yes.
About that.
I actually haven't had a chance
to work on those yet.
Your future mother-in-law has
gone from texting to calling,
and let's just say
the woman is a talker.
I need you to focus.
This moment is not just
about beating Nellie.
We have an opportunity to prove
to everyone on that bus
that what we do
at Liberty Direct
matters just as much
as what they do.
I won't let you down.
And I will call Eric
and deal with all of that
after the interview.
Pulling an all-nighter
to prep for the caucus.
I like it.
- Mm. Mm-mm.
I'm going over some
of the features on Walker
from the last cycle.
I always thought they were
delightful, but maybe--
maybe I'm wrong.
Like--like this story where I--
I mention her favorite snacks.
- Three sliced avocados?
- Exactly. Yes.
I thought
that was a fun detail.
But maybe Walker
didn't want the world
to know what she eats.
A lot of people
can't afford avocados.
Maybe I made her seem
out of touch.
You know, you're
a journalist, not a publicist.
And the fact that I even
remember that detail
proves it was a good piece.
Oh, God,
and then there's--
there's this one where I--
I said she was exhausting.
I didn't mean
she was exhausting.
I meant that being
on the trail was exhausting.
Ugh.
- Sadie, Sadie.
Your style of journalism,
it's observational.
Now, you hold a mirror
up to the candidate,
and if they don't like
what they see,
that's not your fault.
Maybe I'm just not good
at this, Bruce.
Maybe I should stick to writing
about Chinese mallards and--
and not interfere with the
state of American democracy.
You wanna go back
to writing obits?
What the fuck
is going on out there?
Mm, that's room service.
Gotta go.
Wait.
Did I order room service?
You're not a cheeseburger.
I got you
the Q&A with Bennett.
Oh.
Okay.
That's what you wanted.
What?
It is. I did.
Yeah, thank you.
So are there any,
like, questions you--
specific questions?
You wanna brief me
on what I should ask?
- Oh--oh.
Oh, yeah, that. No.
That--mm.
That won't be necessary.
I mean, I don't really care.
I don't--
I don't work
for Caroline anymore.
What?
I quit.
What?
No!
- Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
What happened?
- I just--
- What happened?
What happened?
Honestly
you had something
to do with it.
- No.
- No, no, no, no.
Not like this was
your fault or anything.
More like
The way you were talking
about her this morning,
all that--that energy
and that enthusiasm.
I don't have it,
not for her, not anymore.
You know, this job, it's--
it's hard enough
when you believe in the person
you're working for,
but when you don't--
Why don't you?
- I don't know. I just don't.
- But why?
Sadie, can you not be
a journalist right now?
Just be my friend.
Yes.
Yeah, of course.
Sorry.
- Thank you.
This is a dumb business
we're in.
Mm-hmm. This is true.
A thousand useless
moving parts ♪
Sometimes
you spend your night ♪
Too scared
of getting closer ♪
Hiding out
in the back seat of your ♪
All right, so let me
just clarify something.
You tell yourself
it's raining ♪
So you no longer work for--
for Caroline Bennett.
Thus, you are no longer
a conflict at all.
You tell yourself
it's better ♪
Correct.
To jump
before you fall again ♪
Before you
lose it all again ♪
Interesting.
Look up,
do you see the sunlight ♪
Interesting.
There's flowers
in your hair ♪
Hold on ♪
Interesting.
'Cause somebody
loves you ♪
You know trouble's
always gonna be there ♪
Don't let it bring you
to your knees ♪
Look up ♪
Look up ♪
Mm.
Don't let it bring you
to your knees, look up ♪
Sasha, I will need two
Bloody Marys on the table
before my guest arrives.
Oh, they're already here.
You're the third.
- The third?
- Mm-hmm.
Is Senator Haskin joining us?
Gracie.
Dad huh.
What a treat.
Your father's been hollering
to get together.
So when Lauren
canceled on me last minute,
I figured I'd kill
two birds with one stone.
Well, what have I missed?
Catch me up.
Oh, you know your father
only likes to talk shop.
- Let me guess.
The Walker bump
has everyone second-guessing
Bennett's chances.
- Polls are bullshit.
But now that you're here,
we can discuss
more important matters.
How's my granddaughter
doing at school?
Annie's in college already?
I'm gonna need to see pictures.
Did I wake you?
Shit.
Sorry.
What time is it?
Time for me to go, unfortunately.
Are you going back to D.C.?
No, not--not right
this second, no.
Why do I suddenly feel weird?
Mm-mm.
Don't--don't feel weird.
I mean, hey, last night--
last night was amazing.
This is not me
running away from you.
No, this is just me late.
Late? For what?
Sadie,
I'll call you later, okay?
You took a shower.
Where are you going?
Why--
You smell fancy.
What's happening?
I used your shower gel.
Didn't realize you were saving
it for a special occasion.
Good luck
with the interview today.
Oh, God.
I forgot about that.
Do you know if Walker's
gonna--
- No, no, no.
It's just gonna be you
and Bennett.
Her choice, not mine.
12:15, room 204, okay?
Sadie?
- Mm-hmm?
Don't be late.
All right, I love you.
- That--
Fuck.
Yeah, it's--it's okay.
That's okay.
I mean thank--thank you.
Okay
bye.
Bye.
What the fuck?
Oh, God.
- Can we tuck this guy in?
- Yeah.
Is that comfortable?
It's fine.
- Okay, you're all set.
- Ready?
- I really wanna--
to thank you so much for
taking the time to talk to us.
Not everyone would be so brave.
Well, it was my daughter
who encouraged me to speak out.
This new generation
I envy them.
- Don't we all?
Honestly, I never would have
said a word to anyone
if Caroline Bennett had been
honest in the first place.
She made it sound
like it was some kind
of hippie free love thing.
It wasn't like that.
I mean, maybe it was
for people like her
but not for me.
What do you mean,
people like her?
The ones who paid.
Paid?
To eat the fruit.
- Mm-hmm.
- Let's start.
Great.
Who's ready
for another glass?
Sadly, I have
to get back to work.
The caucuses are opening soon.
- Look at you,
hustling like you're still 25
with something to prove.
If I were you, I'd be done.
- Oh, you would not.
You know how it is.
We don't get older.
We just get better.
I have more energy now
than I did when I was 30.
- Bullshit.
- No, really.
In fact, if anyone should be
retiring, it's you, Dad.
But then who would break
the story about Tim's pick?
I suppose
it's different for men.
Their sense of self-worth
is tied to their careers,
which makes sense.
Why does that make sense?
Because they can't
have children.
I'm sorry, but
that kind of thinking
is a little old-fashioned, no?
I mean, the world has changed.
The world
hasn't changed, Gracie,
just your news algorithm.
Tessy, now,
when you leave here
a little later on
- All right.
I'm so glad we get
another shot at this.
- I owe you an apology.
Last time you were here,
you asked me
how I was gonna break
America's heart.
- Right.
And I totally missed the mark
on that one, didn't I?
Well, I mean--
But now
it's out in the open,
and I'm hoping
that we can all just
move on.
So you and me,
we get a do-over.
So let's do this over,
shall we?
Yes, we shall.
Sorry.
Sorry, can I use your bathroom
really quickly?
Yeah, sure.
Of course.
Governor,
we have a situation.
- What?
- Well
Oh, God.
Which outlet?
We believe it was
Liberty Direct News
who broke the story first,
but it's everywhere now, so--
What are you doing?
- No, it wasn--
Are you recording this?
Well, we are on the record.
This--
No. This interview's over.
Get out.
Out. Get out!
- Excuse me.
Who doesn't wanna be
reborn, right?
But I didn't have
enough money to join.
That's when the man in charge
said there was
another way I could pay.
They had to eat the fruit
off someone, you know?
What happened your face?
Lauren H
happened to my face,
thank you very much.
Pretty sure she used
a fucking Sharpie.
I want dancing and singing
when you lose this bet, okay?
Dancing and singing--all of it.
Valid.
Yo, I'm gonna
need you to give me, like,
all the alcohol right now, please.
Tessy, hi.
I am so glad you called.
I wanted to apologize.
I'm the one
who owes you the apology.
I never should have let your
father hijack our breakfast.
Do you believe that man
kept me there two more hours,
thinking I would
spill the beans?
Didn't even pick up
the damn check.
I believe it.
Screw that.
Women do get better with age.
And more than that,
we have to stick together.
You got a pen on you, sweetheart?
Always.
Yeah.
Tessy, you are a gem.
Talk soon.
I nailed down
Haskin's endorsement.
Get the news alert ready.
I need ten to file.
The Iowa caucus.
Unlike primaries,
where voters show up
at their polling stations
and fill out secret ballots,
Iowans declare their support
by huddling together
over homemade signs
and apple pies
at various schools, churches,
and community centers.
Here, folks vote
with their feet,
standing together in different
groups around the room
as organizers count heads.
It's a little like
musical chairs,
except without the music
or chairs.
But the biggest fan club
walks away with the cake
and the delegates.
Hello, Mike.
So glad to be here with you
live from Des Moines, Iowa,
where the Democratic caucuses
just started
a few minutes ago.
And we're here
with Nellie Carmichael,
our White House correspondent.
They finally let you out
of the briefing room, huh?
I asked nicely.
It's good to see ya.
I mean,
nobody should be talking
about the president tonight.
How could he compete
with a human breakfast buffet?
Exactly. That was quite
an interview, Kimberlyn.
Thank you, Nellie.
I was really interested
in getting down to the bottom--
And yet somehow
it seems like you missed
the most important part.
Are we talking passion fruit,
coconut,
or is this how they
pawned off the honeydew
everybody picked off
the fruit salad?
Well, when I sat down
with Amanda Brown,
one of the women involved,
we learned that--
Wait, stop, Kimberlyn.
Let's be real.
Caroline Bennett
is not settling for honeydew
anytime in the near future.
Well, what this
organization really did
was exploit
these vulnerable young women
and turn them
into indentured sex servants
for the whims
of paying customers.
Basically,
it was an all-you-can-eat
fruit salad for $500.
Yeah, I'd hate to know
what they did
with the watermelon.
Oh, God, Kimberlyn,
you kill us.
- What was that?
- All right, everybody.
It's time to caucus up.
Go to the corner
of your candidate,
and let's vote with our feet.
I don't know.
Geriatrics' corner's
getting pretty crowded.
Whatever.
It's only one caucus.
They're happening
all over the state.
And the median age in Iowa
is under 40.
Yep, and I'm pretty sure
they're all at home right now
watching TikTok
or buying lube.
Hey, fam,
your girl is back
because it is caucus night
here in Des Moines,
and this middle school gym
is honestly, like, kind of lit.
But I have been hearing
in the past couple days
that this entire caucus
is a foregone conclusion,
that--that some old white guy
is gonna win because some
other old white guy decided so.
And you know
what I think that is?
Some boomer fucking bullshit.
If we've learned anything
from the people
that came before us, it's
that we don't need to listen
and give in
to a broken system.
I don't think we should be
having it, y'all.
I don't. No.
Because Cesar Chavez
and Dolores Huerta
were not having it.
Because Marsha P. Johnson
and Sylvia Rivera
weren't having it.
Because Sharifa Alkhateeb
and--and Shirley Chisholm
and Masih Alinejad--
none of those people--they
aren't and weren't having it.
The best things that ever
happened in this country
were because of people
who didn't listen
to old white men.
So today, Iowa,
I hope that's all of you.
Hey.
Nice scoop today.
Your producers
must be thrilled.
Not really.
Didn't seem to move
the conversation.
Maybe not
with your viewers,
but they were never
voting for Bennett anyway.
But you changed my mind,
and that's no small feat.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Be honest.
You were never really
all in for Bennett.
Why do you say that?
Because you're not stupid.
You don't want just any woman
to be president.
You want the right woman,
and Bennett
was never as good as Walker,
not in your eyes, anyway.
You, Sadie McCarthy,
are a true believer.
God help you.
Motherfucker.
Sadie, hey.
I was gonna call you.
You said you didn't
believe in Bennett anymore.
So who do you believe in?
Wait. What?
Is Felicity Walker
running again?
Is that why she came to Iowa?
Let me rephrase the question.
Are you working
for Felicity Walker?
Sa--Sadie.
Sa--Sadie, come on.
With caucus results
being tallied,
Iowans rejected scandal-ridden
Caroline Bennett
in favor of
Secretary Fergal P. Richards,
thanks to an endorsement
from Senator Tim Haskin.
Bless you, Sam.
So there's no movie of that
book you're making me read.
There's an audio version,
though,
so might have to do that.
No need.
I'm not gonna quiz you on it.
A bet's a bet.
I keep my word.
Although I do maintain
that if you tried TikTok,
you would love it.
You know, I know
your whole shtick is
to make it seem like everything
you say is off the cuff,
but you clearly
did your research.
I always do.
It's part of the job, right?
Want a drink?
Nah,
I'm gonna call my folks,
pop a gummy,
say a little prayer.
Now that Bennett's out
of the race,
maybe my girl
will get her own bus.
Mm. Your girl
barely got 5% tonight.
She is not long for this trail.
Wanna bet?
What, are you
following me now?
We spent over 150 days
together in Iowa, Senator.
I know this is
your favorite restaurant.
I know everything about you,
including the fact
that you're running again.
Just wanted to give you
a chance to go on the record.
Nice try, but we already
covered this, Sadie.
Your reporting--
- You're not a fan. I got that.
But you also said if I stayed
away from Bennett,
that would help her chances.
Well, I stayed away.
I'm not the problem, Senator.
Maybe not this time, but--
No, I am--I'm not saying
that I haven't made
my fair share of mistakes,
and I'm sure I'm going
to make many more.
I am not perfect,
but neither are you.
Which is kind of heartbreaking
but also--
also really liberating,
because now I can just
focus on doing my job.
Now, I have it
on good authority
that you've hired
a new press secretary,
you're having dinner with
a top Democratic strategist,
and I just confirmed
with a realtor in New York
that the office space
previously occupied
by your campaign HQ
was just leased to an LLC
titled
Our Tomorrow Begins Today.
So I'm gonna ask you
one more time
Would you care
to go on the record?
If not, I can just say
you declined to comment.
Our readers love that.
Take a seat.
Let's make it quick.
Mm.
Uh-oh.
What's wrong?
Nothing. I'm fine.
What? Was Terry not happy
with the segment?
Look, for what it's worth,
I thought you were fantastic.
No, he really liked it.
He might even wanna
make it a regular thing.
What? That's great!
So then why are you--
I asked Eric's mother
to stop bugging you,
and she sent me a care package.
Except it feels more
like a "fuck you" package.
I can help.
It's fine.
It's my wedding.
I just don't know
how I'm gonna do it all.
I really thought that I could,
but everything just feels
so much more intense
than I thought it would be.
It's gonna be okay.
But those flowers have to go.
They're so ugly.
They're hideous.
Okay,
let's talk color palettes.
I'm broke, but I'm happy ♪
- Actually, no, neither.
Neither.
"The Journalist
and the Murderer,"
by Janet Malcolm.
Chapter one.
I'm sane,
but I'm overwhelmed ♪
Oh, Melon does not like
what she be smelling.
And what it all
comes down to ♪
- Now Finn will get a sniff.
Finn disapproves
of the pickle.
Is that everything's
gonna be fine, fine, fine ♪
Mm.
This is Annie.
Leave a message.
Or better yet, text me.
- Hi, Annie.
It's your mom.
I'm just--I'm watching
this thing on TikTok,
and I have no idea why,
but it is cracking me up.
It's--it's this cat,
and she looks like Norton.
Do you remember Norton?
Ah, maybe you were too little.
Anyway, I'm just calling
to say hi and--
If you'd like to send
this message, press 1.
If you'd like to rerecord
your message, press 2.
Is that I haven't
got it all ♪
Figured out just yet ♪
Hey, it's me.
Call me back, or I'm not
paying for your phone anymore.
And the other one
is giving a peace sign ♪
And what it all
comes down to ♪
Is that everything's
gonna be ♪
- Room service.
Yes, finally.
'Cause I've got
one hand in my pocket ♪
And the other one
is flicking a cigarette ♪
I'm free, but I'm focused ♪
I'm green, but I'm wise ♪
I'm hard,
but I'm friendly, baby ♪
I'm sad, but I'm laughing ♪
You're not a cheeseburger.
I'm brave,
but I'm chicken shit ♪
I'm sick,
but I'm pretty, baby ♪
And what it all
boils down to ♪
Is that no one's really
got it figured out just yet ♪
Greg, move your head.
Bye.
Life on the campaign trail
isn't exactly glamorous.
Why are we still
sitting here?
Yeah, why haven't
we left yet?
Being away from home
for months at a time,
living out of a suitcase,
chasing sources,
and writing stories
half the country
won't believe anyway--
it can be a grind.
But there are some days
that make it all worthwhile.
Because just when you think
you know the whole story,
it changes.
Holy
shit.
- What is she doing?
- Oh, my God.
Look what was
holding up traffic.
Is that Felicity Walker?
Felicity Walker.
What the hell
is she doing here?
- Felicity Walker?
Oh, my God.
Felicity Walker--
the woman who haunted my past
and would ultimately
derail my entire future.
Of course,
I didn't know that yet.
I am the passenger ♪
It was three years ago
when my editor
asked me to cover
the first woman
with a real shot
at the White House
I'm an only child
raised by a single mom
A respected senator
who reached
across the aisle
to pass paid family leave
and a sweeping
climate change bill.
She was scrappy and blunt
and made curtain bangs
look good.
Now, as a reporter,
my job is to remain
objective, detached.
But somewhere along the way,
I found myself
rooting for Walker.
Yeah!
And I wasn't alone.
Everywhere we went,
she seemed to be
capturing hearts and minds.
crowd:
Walker, Walker, Walker!
According to Nate Silver's
statistical needle,
she was a shoo-in to become
the first woman president
and my career-defining
front-page story.
See, that's the thing about
being a campaign reporter.
Pick the right horse,
and you can ride that baby
all the way
to the White House,
TV, book deals, Pulitzers.
But then
she lost.
No one saw it coming.
In the end, it didn't matter
how it happened or why.
It happened,
and I was devastated.
That's the end
of the era of
I woke up the next morning
to find that my meltdown
went viral,
thanks to Liberty Direct News.
Somebody tell me ♪
At the time,
I thought it was
the worst thing to happen
to a political reporter.
What a difference
three years can make.
Too naughty, no die ♪
You're my ride or die ♪
You're my ride or die ♪
And remember
Yes, I know
she was at the hotel.
The whole world saw her
show up at the hotel.
But why?
Why is she here?
Where's Walker now? What--
Oh, hang on.
That's--that's my editor.
I'll call you back in five.
Bruce, I got three minutes.
What do you need?
Your latest on Caroline
feels like a clip job.
I mean, it's all sex,
no substance.
Just the way
our readers like it.
- No, dig deeper, dig deeper.
- Uh-huh.
How many donors
has she lost?
Is her party pressuring her to
drop out before the caucuses?
- Yeah.
- Do we know who
her super PAC is now
gonna get behind?
- Yeah.
- Are you even listening to me?
Of course I'm listening.
You're obsessing about Walker
being in Iowa, aren't you?
I'm not obsessing.
I am investigating,
which is my job.
No, your job is to follow
Caroline Bennett.
Now, you begged me
to put you on her bus.
I mean, you chose her.
- I--
I--to be fair, I chose her
before we found out
she starred in "Eyes Wide Shut"
the docuseries.
The fact that
Felicity Walker is in Iowa--
Is not the story
on your beat.
You have a sex scandal
involving produce.
Walker is still
the better story.
What is the story?
Why is she in town?
I--
I don't know.
She's taken you down
once, Sadie.
Do not let her do it again.
You know, I'm gonna find out
why Walker's in Iowa,
and when I do, you're gonna
front that shit on page one.
Bye.
It's so good
having you here, Senator.
And since we've known
each other for a long time,
let's just cut to the chase.
Now that Caroline Bennett's
all but out of the race,
who are you
planning to endorse?
Don't answer him, Haskin.
You're better than that.
Look at you,
watching two old white guys
like they matter anymore.
You're right.
The Supreme Court is clearly
swayed by social media,
which is why everything
is going so well for us
in this country.
Yeah, they'll die off
soon enough.
Who's that guy?
- Tim Haskin, Iowa senator.
He decides who wins the caucus.
What do you mean
Haskin decides?
The caucus is tomorrow night.
Before it starts,
Senator Haskin will go on TV
and shake hands with one
of the Democratic candidates.
That's his way of signaling
to his constituents
who he wants to win.
The sheep will follow.
My job is to find out
whose hand he's shaking
before he shakes it.
That's what you think
your job is as a journalist?
- Mm-hmm.
That's so sad.
Breaking news, yes.
Also, voters are not sheep.
And--and you know
that why?
Because of your many years
of experience
on the campaign trail?
I'm sorry that you
had to wear Spanx
just to be taken seriously.
I'd be pressed, too,
if my insides
had been cinched for a century.
But I have news for you.
The establishment
no longer decides for us.
Young people are engaged.
The world is changing.
You wanna bet?
Folks, I'm gonna ask you
to pray with me
in just a minute.
Unbelievable.
This is unbelievable.
Gary, are you seeing this?
Sorry, one second,
just confirming
you prefer orchids
to petunias.
Is Eric's mother
still bothering you
with wedding stuff?
I told her you are not
my assistant;
you're my embed.
But orchids.
- Yeah, uh, not sure
she's fully grasping
that distinction.
I will call Eric and tell him
to try to wrangle his mother.
But I need you to put your
phone down and look at this.
That's right, Rick.
In response
to the sickening revelations
inside the Bennett campaign,
the president
- How many is that?
- Three.
Three in the last 12 hours,
and it's always
the same statement.
He's disgusted.
She's disgusting.
Variations on a theme.
This is supposed to be
our story, Gary.
We're the ones
on Caroline's bus.
We should be the ones
covering her scandal.
Caroline
is talking right now,
and we're not filming it, so--
The woman inserted a mango
into her own nether regions
and allowed a man to eat it
out of her in public.
And mangoes
can be so stringy.
They're calling this
a sex club,
but there's gotta be
more to the story.
Does it need more?
Maybe not, but if this
is gonna be the thing
that takes her
out of the race,
let's make sure
it's for a good reason.
Like you getting on TV
instead of Nellie Creamsicle?
Exactly.
Okay, grab your gear.
- All right.
Accountability and atonement
are my responsibility
Hey.
Did I miss anything good?
If you did,
do you think I'd tell you?
And I know
some of you folks thought,
well, she's just gonna
run away.
She's just gonna go home
after that vicious attack.
crowd: No!
- Well, no, no, to be perfectly
honest with you,
that thought did cross my mind
more than once last night.
But then I got a call
from a friend,
a friend who believes
in what it is
I'm trying to do here,
a friend who reminded me
that when
the going gets tough
The tough stay put!
- Felicity Walker!
You keep saying
you've got something for me ♪
Surprise!
My good friend
Caroline Bennett.
- We love you, Felicity!
These boots
are made for walkin' ♪
And that's just
what they'll do ♪
One of these days,
these boots ♪
Are gonna
walk all over you ♪
- Yeah.
- Walker is throwing
her support behind Bennett.
Of course it makes sense.
I told you
she was a better story.
I mean, yes,
they do seem close,
but I don't think
we can call them lovers.
Yeah, lube,
that's totally fine.
My manager.
I have to find a way to work
SlippyDippy Intimacy Gel
into American workers
getting fucked,
which I think is a cute collab.
- I'm sorry. Sorry.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
I think that's
Branded content
is the future of journalism.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Bennett's meeting
with the "Register's"
editorial board later today.
Okay, bye.
I am gonna punch
the perky right out of you
if you don't calm down.
- Oh, come on.
Even you have to admit
that this is cool.
Walker showing up to support
another female candidate
just proves that she is
exactly who we thought she was.
Exactly who you
thought she was.
I still have no idea why
You are so obsessed with her.
I'm not obsessed.
I'm inspired.
She's inspiring.
She is power-hungry,
like every other politician.
The only reason Walker is here
is because she is desperate
to remain relevant.
That's a darker take.
But if she'd won--
- She didn't.
- And that's on us.
The--us--not--
not us the media.
Like, us, the general--
like, the voters, us.
Sadie McCarthy.
Don't look at me like that.
I had no idea you were so--
What, stupid,
naive, gullible, what?
Hopeful.
If I ever see you
in a pussy hat
I am kicking
your pussy off the bus.
Of all the midrange hotel
buffets in all the towns
- Uh-uh, no, not doing this.
- What's your problem?
You should be measuring
your office in the West Wing.
Your candidate was dead.
Carlos Danger dead.
But what--what--
what is that I hear?
Do I hear a--
Oh, God damn it,
how can they be out
of Swiss cheese already?
That's a heartbeat, baby.
Caroline Bennett in the house.
Vital signs are looking good.
Mm. Sadie.
Look, I am very unhappy,
and now there is no cheese.
Can you take all this
way down to, like, a two?
I need you at a two.
- Walker's gonna save Bennett.
- That's the plan.
Not that I had
any say in the plan.
You know, you'd think I would,
seeing as it's,
I don't know, my job,
but as it turns out,
Bennett doesn't give a shit
what I think, so
So here's what I'm thinking.
I'm thinking a Q&A with me,
Bennett, and Walker--
simple, straight to the point.
Huh.
How's this for simple?
Hey, hey.
Caroline doesn't care
what you think because
because that's actually
not your job.
Are you her campaign manager,
her chief strategist?
Are you her best friend who
was with her in the sixth grade
when she got her first period?
No, you're her press secretary.
That is your job.
Only a man would think
he should have influence
over what a 62-year-old
female presidential candidate
should be doing
to stay in the race.
She lied to you.
That sucks.
She lied to me, too,
but I'm still here.
So why don't we pull up
our big-kid pants
and win this thing, shall we?
Hmm.
I'll take that as a yes.
The Iowa Main Street Parade.
One last opportunity
for presidential hopefuls
to rub elbows with the Iowans
before the caucus.
It might look innocent,
but it's actually a bloodbath.
And by the end of tomorrow,
one of these candidates
won't be left standing.
Senator Walker!
Senator Walker,
it's "The Sentinal"!
Same goes for the reporters
covering them.
We love you, Felicity.
And I love Caroline Bennett.
This woman here
is the real deal.
Make sure to come out
for her on Tuesday.
Senator Walker!
Okay. Lube.
Butter.
Lube.
Butter.
There's gotta be
something here.
I know.
Not only that, I ate
mac and cheese on a stick.
I had peanut butter and jelly
on a stick.
I had catfish on a stick.
Okay, we can do
a few questions,
but let's
keep it brief, please.
Governor has a tight schedule.
Yes. Right here.
Kimberlyn Kendrick,
Liberty Direct News.
Governor, in light
of recent revelations
about your involvement
with a fringe sex group,
what would you say to Iowans
concerned that your values
don't align with theirs?
I think Iowans know,
as most Americans do,
that the Resolute Desk isn't
in the president's bedroom
for good reason.
The government
shouldn't be involved
in the private lives
of consenting adults.
Is that the same thing
you would say to your daughter?
Okay. That's it for now.
Thank you, everyone.
- Hey, hey.
You said a few questions.
- Thank you.
- Governor Bennett!
Governor Bennett.
You said a few.
Hey.
So you kind of ruined it
for the rest of us back there.
And I know we answer
to different people
who want very different
things, but--
No, I'm pretty sure we answer
to the same people:
the American public.
And all they want is the truth.
Nice try,
but Liberty Direct News
doesn't give a shit
about the truth.
You care, though, which is
why I'm appealing to you--
If you say as a woman,
this conversation is over.
As a journalist
who's in the same spot as I am,
trying to remain objective
with a story
that is fundamentally
not objective.
If Bennett were a man,
we would--
I would be going after him
in the exact same way.
Oh, yeah? You'd be asking him
how his children feel?
Really?
That's bullshit.
Walker's support is going to
give Bennett a second chance,
which means
we get to stay on the trail.
Fuck the trail.
She lied.
And I think
that once you've lied,
it is a journalist's job
to make sure
there aren't other,
bigger lies hiding.
That's what I'm doing,
and that's what you
should be doing, too,
but instead you're spinning.
You might think
that what Caroline did
was just embarrassing,
but a lot of voters
would call lust and gluttony
two of the seven deadly sins
and would expect more
from their president.
Maybe you should too.
Hi. Do we know who Haskin
is endorsing yet?
Because I feel like
with Walker here,
he might have changed his mind.
And if he is, throwing
his support behind Bennett--
- It's not gonna be Bennett.
Then why do you even care?
'Cause if she goes down,
we're off the trail.
So be it.
I miss my Pratesi sheets.
And why the shit
does this girl have
900 posts of her eyebrows?
Who's Lauren H?
Lauren H is
Senator Haskin's granddaughter,
who is cockblocking
my very important standing date
with Senator Haskin's wife,
which means
that I now have to--
Kill her?
Or find something better
for her to do.
If I can get
her grandmother alone,
I can pry Haskin's choice
out of her.
Ask Lola.
She'll know what to do.
Or better yet, ask Lola
to hang out with her.
I can't ask Lola.
We made a bet.
She thinks what I'm doing
is irrelevant,
that the world has changed.
What did you bet?
If Haskin's pick wins Iowa,
Lola has to read
Janet Malcolm.
- Maybe learn something
about what we're doing here.
- Malcolm?
And if they don't?
Haskin's pick always wins.
I just have to find out
who it's gonna be
before my father does.
Mm-hmm.
Senator Walker.
It is--it's quite a thing,
you being here, Senator.
Your support
of Governor Bennett
is very meaningful.
If you wanted
to give me a quote--
I don't.
Thank you.
Ah.
It doesn't have to be now.
You must be exhausted.
You don't look exhausted.
You always manage
to look so well-rested.
How do you do that?
But I was thinking
maybe a Q&A, or, you know,
maybe we could do a sit-down.
I'd love for the "Sentinal"--
Sadie McCarthy.
Still as bumbling
as ever, I see.
- I'm sorry?
- You should be.
You and your newspaper
ruined my life.
You cost me the presidency
with your snark
and your sarcasm
disguised as wit and whimsy.
And that viral meltdown
that set women back 100 years,
that was embarrassing.
You wanna give Bennett
a shot at the White House?
Stay the fuck away from her.
Hmm.
Just how cool
could a cool thing hit ♪
If a cool thing
got more cool, real cool ♪
Yeah, do your thing
with a bang, bang, bang ♪
And it goes like
boom, boom, boom ♪
If a cool thing
got more cool, real cool ♪
Yeah, do your thing
with a bang, bang, bang ♪
And it goes like
boom, boom, boom ♪
I need a favor.
You want free lube,
don't you?
It's not a problem; they
gave me, like, a whole case.
A friend of mine would love
to pick your brain.
If you agreed to meet
with her tomorrow morning,
it would really help me out.
Wow.
This must be giving you,
like, actual hives.
Sure, no problem.
I love an opportunity
to speak to my base.
Journalists don't have bases.
It's possible we have
a different definition
of the word "journalist."
- There's only one definition.
Do you want my help or not?
- Yes.
- Cool.
Oh, when I win the bet,
you don't just have
to download TikTok.
You have to dance on it
for my page.
Bye.
Okay, bad news.
They were out of Ding Dongs.
- Shh, shh, shh.
Yes, of course.
Whatever time works best
for your mom,
I'm gonna be there.
Okay.
Sounds good, Delia.
No, you get some rest.
Okay, who's Delia?
Delia Brown is the daughter
of Amanda Brown,
who was a participant
in Caroline Bennett's sex club
and is willing to give me
an exclusive interview.
Kimberlyn,
that is a very big deal.
So let's go over
your last batch of questions,
and then we can compare notes.
Okay, yes.
About that.
I actually haven't had a chance
to work on those yet.
Your future mother-in-law has
gone from texting to calling,
and let's just say
the woman is a talker.
I need you to focus.
This moment is not just
about beating Nellie.
We have an opportunity to prove
to everyone on that bus
that what we do
at Liberty Direct
matters just as much
as what they do.
I won't let you down.
And I will call Eric
and deal with all of that
after the interview.
Pulling an all-nighter
to prep for the caucus.
I like it.
- Mm. Mm-mm.
I'm going over some
of the features on Walker
from the last cycle.
I always thought they were
delightful, but maybe--
maybe I'm wrong.
Like--like this story where I--
I mention her favorite snacks.
- Three sliced avocados?
- Exactly. Yes.
I thought
that was a fun detail.
But maybe Walker
didn't want the world
to know what she eats.
A lot of people
can't afford avocados.
Maybe I made her seem
out of touch.
You know, you're
a journalist, not a publicist.
And the fact that I even
remember that detail
proves it was a good piece.
Oh, God,
and then there's--
there's this one where I--
I said she was exhausting.
I didn't mean
she was exhausting.
I meant that being
on the trail was exhausting.
Ugh.
- Sadie, Sadie.
Your style of journalism,
it's observational.
Now, you hold a mirror
up to the candidate,
and if they don't like
what they see,
that's not your fault.
Maybe I'm just not good
at this, Bruce.
Maybe I should stick to writing
about Chinese mallards and--
and not interfere with the
state of American democracy.
You wanna go back
to writing obits?
What the fuck
is going on out there?
Mm, that's room service.
Gotta go.
Wait.
Did I order room service?
You're not a cheeseburger.
I got you
the Q&A with Bennett.
Oh.
Okay.
That's what you wanted.
What?
It is. I did.
Yeah, thank you.
So are there any,
like, questions you--
specific questions?
You wanna brief me
on what I should ask?
- Oh--oh.
Oh, yeah, that. No.
That--mm.
That won't be necessary.
I mean, I don't really care.
I don't--
I don't work
for Caroline anymore.
What?
I quit.
What?
No!
- Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
What happened?
- I just--
- What happened?
What happened?
Honestly
you had something
to do with it.
- No.
- No, no, no, no.
Not like this was
your fault or anything.
More like
The way you were talking
about her this morning,
all that--that energy
and that enthusiasm.
I don't have it,
not for her, not anymore.
You know, this job, it's--
it's hard enough
when you believe in the person
you're working for,
but when you don't--
Why don't you?
- I don't know. I just don't.
- But why?
Sadie, can you not be
a journalist right now?
Just be my friend.
Yes.
Yeah, of course.
Sorry.
- Thank you.
This is a dumb business
we're in.
Mm-hmm. This is true.
A thousand useless
moving parts ♪
Sometimes
you spend your night ♪
Too scared
of getting closer ♪
Hiding out
in the back seat of your ♪
All right, so let me
just clarify something.
You tell yourself
it's raining ♪
So you no longer work for--
for Caroline Bennett.
Thus, you are no longer
a conflict at all.
You tell yourself
it's better ♪
Correct.
To jump
before you fall again ♪
Before you
lose it all again ♪
Interesting.
Look up,
do you see the sunlight ♪
Interesting.
There's flowers
in your hair ♪
Hold on ♪
Interesting.
'Cause somebody
loves you ♪
You know trouble's
always gonna be there ♪
Don't let it bring you
to your knees ♪
Look up ♪
Look up ♪
Mm.
Don't let it bring you
to your knees, look up ♪
Sasha, I will need two
Bloody Marys on the table
before my guest arrives.
Oh, they're already here.
You're the third.
- The third?
- Mm-hmm.
Is Senator Haskin joining us?
Gracie.
Dad huh.
What a treat.
Your father's been hollering
to get together.
So when Lauren
canceled on me last minute,
I figured I'd kill
two birds with one stone.
Well, what have I missed?
Catch me up.
Oh, you know your father
only likes to talk shop.
- Let me guess.
The Walker bump
has everyone second-guessing
Bennett's chances.
- Polls are bullshit.
But now that you're here,
we can discuss
more important matters.
How's my granddaughter
doing at school?
Annie's in college already?
I'm gonna need to see pictures.
Did I wake you?
Shit.
Sorry.
What time is it?
Time for me to go, unfortunately.
Are you going back to D.C.?
No, not--not right
this second, no.
Why do I suddenly feel weird?
Mm-mm.
Don't--don't feel weird.
I mean, hey, last night--
last night was amazing.
This is not me
running away from you.
No, this is just me late.
Late? For what?
Sadie,
I'll call you later, okay?
You took a shower.
Where are you going?
Why--
You smell fancy.
What's happening?
I used your shower gel.
Didn't realize you were saving
it for a special occasion.
Good luck
with the interview today.
Oh, God.
I forgot about that.
Do you know if Walker's
gonna--
- No, no, no.
It's just gonna be you
and Bennett.
Her choice, not mine.
12:15, room 204, okay?
Sadie?
- Mm-hmm?
Don't be late.
All right, I love you.
- That--
Fuck.
Yeah, it's--it's okay.
That's okay.
I mean thank--thank you.
Okay
bye.
Bye.
What the fuck?
Oh, God.
- Can we tuck this guy in?
- Yeah.
Is that comfortable?
It's fine.
- Okay, you're all set.
- Ready?
- I really wanna--
to thank you so much for
taking the time to talk to us.
Not everyone would be so brave.
Well, it was my daughter
who encouraged me to speak out.
This new generation
I envy them.
- Don't we all?
Honestly, I never would have
said a word to anyone
if Caroline Bennett had been
honest in the first place.
She made it sound
like it was some kind
of hippie free love thing.
It wasn't like that.
I mean, maybe it was
for people like her
but not for me.
What do you mean,
people like her?
The ones who paid.
Paid?
To eat the fruit.
- Mm-hmm.
- Let's start.
Great.
Who's ready
for another glass?
Sadly, I have
to get back to work.
The caucuses are opening soon.
- Look at you,
hustling like you're still 25
with something to prove.
If I were you, I'd be done.
- Oh, you would not.
You know how it is.
We don't get older.
We just get better.
I have more energy now
than I did when I was 30.
- Bullshit.
- No, really.
In fact, if anyone should be
retiring, it's you, Dad.
But then who would break
the story about Tim's pick?
I suppose
it's different for men.
Their sense of self-worth
is tied to their careers,
which makes sense.
Why does that make sense?
Because they can't
have children.
I'm sorry, but
that kind of thinking
is a little old-fashioned, no?
I mean, the world has changed.
The world
hasn't changed, Gracie,
just your news algorithm.
Tessy, now,
when you leave here
a little later on
- All right.
I'm so glad we get
another shot at this.
- I owe you an apology.
Last time you were here,
you asked me
how I was gonna break
America's heart.
- Right.
And I totally missed the mark
on that one, didn't I?
Well, I mean--
But now
it's out in the open,
and I'm hoping
that we can all just
move on.
So you and me,
we get a do-over.
So let's do this over,
shall we?
Yes, we shall.
Sorry.
Sorry, can I use your bathroom
really quickly?
Yeah, sure.
Of course.
Governor,
we have a situation.
- What?
- Well
Oh, God.
Which outlet?
We believe it was
Liberty Direct News
who broke the story first,
but it's everywhere now, so--
What are you doing?
- No, it wasn--
Are you recording this?
Well, we are on the record.
This--
No. This interview's over.
Get out.
Out. Get out!
- Excuse me.
Who doesn't wanna be
reborn, right?
But I didn't have
enough money to join.
That's when the man in charge
said there was
another way I could pay.
They had to eat the fruit
off someone, you know?
What happened your face?
Lauren H
happened to my face,
thank you very much.
Pretty sure she used
a fucking Sharpie.
I want dancing and singing
when you lose this bet, okay?
Dancing and singing--all of it.
Valid.
Yo, I'm gonna
need you to give me, like,
all the alcohol right now, please.
Tessy, hi.
I am so glad you called.
I wanted to apologize.
I'm the one
who owes you the apology.
I never should have let your
father hijack our breakfast.
Do you believe that man
kept me there two more hours,
thinking I would
spill the beans?
Didn't even pick up
the damn check.
I believe it.
Screw that.
Women do get better with age.
And more than that,
we have to stick together.
You got a pen on you, sweetheart?
Always.
Yeah.
Tessy, you are a gem.
Talk soon.
I nailed down
Haskin's endorsement.
Get the news alert ready.
I need ten to file.
The Iowa caucus.
Unlike primaries,
where voters show up
at their polling stations
and fill out secret ballots,
Iowans declare their support
by huddling together
over homemade signs
and apple pies
at various schools, churches,
and community centers.
Here, folks vote
with their feet,
standing together in different
groups around the room
as organizers count heads.
It's a little like
musical chairs,
except without the music
or chairs.
But the biggest fan club
walks away with the cake
and the delegates.
Hello, Mike.
So glad to be here with you
live from Des Moines, Iowa,
where the Democratic caucuses
just started
a few minutes ago.
And we're here
with Nellie Carmichael,
our White House correspondent.
They finally let you out
of the briefing room, huh?
I asked nicely.
It's good to see ya.
I mean,
nobody should be talking
about the president tonight.
How could he compete
with a human breakfast buffet?
Exactly. That was quite
an interview, Kimberlyn.
Thank you, Nellie.
I was really interested
in getting down to the bottom--
And yet somehow
it seems like you missed
the most important part.
Are we talking passion fruit,
coconut,
or is this how they
pawned off the honeydew
everybody picked off
the fruit salad?
Well, when I sat down
with Amanda Brown,
one of the women involved,
we learned that--
Wait, stop, Kimberlyn.
Let's be real.
Caroline Bennett
is not settling for honeydew
anytime in the near future.
Well, what this
organization really did
was exploit
these vulnerable young women
and turn them
into indentured sex servants
for the whims
of paying customers.
Basically,
it was an all-you-can-eat
fruit salad for $500.
Yeah, I'd hate to know
what they did
with the watermelon.
Oh, God, Kimberlyn,
you kill us.
- What was that?
- All right, everybody.
It's time to caucus up.
Go to the corner
of your candidate,
and let's vote with our feet.
I don't know.
Geriatrics' corner's
getting pretty crowded.
Whatever.
It's only one caucus.
They're happening
all over the state.
And the median age in Iowa
is under 40.
Yep, and I'm pretty sure
they're all at home right now
watching TikTok
or buying lube.
Hey, fam,
your girl is back
because it is caucus night
here in Des Moines,
and this middle school gym
is honestly, like, kind of lit.
But I have been hearing
in the past couple days
that this entire caucus
is a foregone conclusion,
that--that some old white guy
is gonna win because some
other old white guy decided so.
And you know
what I think that is?
Some boomer fucking bullshit.
If we've learned anything
from the people
that came before us, it's
that we don't need to listen
and give in
to a broken system.
I don't think we should be
having it, y'all.
I don't. No.
Because Cesar Chavez
and Dolores Huerta
were not having it.
Because Marsha P. Johnson
and Sylvia Rivera
weren't having it.
Because Sharifa Alkhateeb
and--and Shirley Chisholm
and Masih Alinejad--
none of those people--they
aren't and weren't having it.
The best things that ever
happened in this country
were because of people
who didn't listen
to old white men.
So today, Iowa,
I hope that's all of you.
Hey.
Nice scoop today.
Your producers
must be thrilled.
Not really.
Didn't seem to move
the conversation.
Maybe not
with your viewers,
but they were never
voting for Bennett anyway.
But you changed my mind,
and that's no small feat.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Be honest.
You were never really
all in for Bennett.
Why do you say that?
Because you're not stupid.
You don't want just any woman
to be president.
You want the right woman,
and Bennett
was never as good as Walker,
not in your eyes, anyway.
You, Sadie McCarthy,
are a true believer.
God help you.
Motherfucker.
Sadie, hey.
I was gonna call you.
You said you didn't
believe in Bennett anymore.
So who do you believe in?
Wait. What?
Is Felicity Walker
running again?
Is that why she came to Iowa?
Let me rephrase the question.
Are you working
for Felicity Walker?
Sa--Sadie.
Sa--Sadie, come on.
With caucus results
being tallied,
Iowans rejected scandal-ridden
Caroline Bennett
in favor of
Secretary Fergal P. Richards,
thanks to an endorsement
from Senator Tim Haskin.
Bless you, Sam.
So there's no movie of that
book you're making me read.
There's an audio version,
though,
so might have to do that.
No need.
I'm not gonna quiz you on it.
A bet's a bet.
I keep my word.
Although I do maintain
that if you tried TikTok,
you would love it.
You know, I know
your whole shtick is
to make it seem like everything
you say is off the cuff,
but you clearly
did your research.
I always do.
It's part of the job, right?
Want a drink?
Nah,
I'm gonna call my folks,
pop a gummy,
say a little prayer.
Now that Bennett's out
of the race,
maybe my girl
will get her own bus.
Mm. Your girl
barely got 5% tonight.
She is not long for this trail.
Wanna bet?
What, are you
following me now?
We spent over 150 days
together in Iowa, Senator.
I know this is
your favorite restaurant.
I know everything about you,
including the fact
that you're running again.
Just wanted to give you
a chance to go on the record.
Nice try, but we already
covered this, Sadie.
Your reporting--
- You're not a fan. I got that.
But you also said if I stayed
away from Bennett,
that would help her chances.
Well, I stayed away.
I'm not the problem, Senator.
Maybe not this time, but--
No, I am--I'm not saying
that I haven't made
my fair share of mistakes,
and I'm sure I'm going
to make many more.
I am not perfect,
but neither are you.
Which is kind of heartbreaking
but also--
also really liberating,
because now I can just
focus on doing my job.
Now, I have it
on good authority
that you've hired
a new press secretary,
you're having dinner with
a top Democratic strategist,
and I just confirmed
with a realtor in New York
that the office space
previously occupied
by your campaign HQ
was just leased to an LLC
titled
Our Tomorrow Begins Today.
So I'm gonna ask you
one more time
Would you care
to go on the record?
If not, I can just say
you declined to comment.
Our readers love that.
Take a seat.
Let's make it quick.
Mm.
Uh-oh.
What's wrong?
Nothing. I'm fine.
What? Was Terry not happy
with the segment?
Look, for what it's worth,
I thought you were fantastic.
No, he really liked it.
He might even wanna
make it a regular thing.
What? That's great!
So then why are you--
I asked Eric's mother
to stop bugging you,
and she sent me a care package.
Except it feels more
like a "fuck you" package.
I can help.
It's fine.
It's my wedding.
I just don't know
how I'm gonna do it all.
I really thought that I could,
but everything just feels
so much more intense
than I thought it would be.
It's gonna be okay.
But those flowers have to go.
They're so ugly.
They're hideous.
Okay,
let's talk color palettes.
I'm broke, but I'm happy ♪
- Actually, no, neither.
Neither.
"The Journalist
and the Murderer,"
by Janet Malcolm.
Chapter one.
I'm sane,
but I'm overwhelmed ♪
Oh, Melon does not like
what she be smelling.
And what it all
comes down to ♪
- Now Finn will get a sniff.
Finn disapproves
of the pickle.
Is that everything's
gonna be fine, fine, fine ♪
Mm.
This is Annie.
Leave a message.
Or better yet, text me.
- Hi, Annie.
It's your mom.
I'm just--I'm watching
this thing on TikTok,
and I have no idea why,
but it is cracking me up.
It's--it's this cat,
and she looks like Norton.
Do you remember Norton?
Ah, maybe you were too little.
Anyway, I'm just calling
to say hi and--
If you'd like to send
this message, press 1.
If you'd like to rerecord
your message, press 2.
Is that I haven't
got it all ♪
Figured out just yet ♪
Hey, it's me.
Call me back, or I'm not
paying for your phone anymore.
And the other one
is giving a peace sign ♪
And what it all
comes down to ♪
Is that everything's
gonna be ♪
- Room service.
Yes, finally.
'Cause I've got
one hand in my pocket ♪
And the other one
is flicking a cigarette ♪
I'm free, but I'm focused ♪
I'm green, but I'm wise ♪
I'm hard,
but I'm friendly, baby ♪
I'm sad, but I'm laughing ♪
You're not a cheeseburger.
I'm brave,
but I'm chicken shit ♪
I'm sick,
but I'm pretty, baby ♪
And what it all
boils down to ♪
Is that no one's really
got it figured out just yet ♪
Greg, move your head.
Bye.