The Good Guys s01e02 Episode Script

Please! You don't have to do this! I really don't have a choice here.
Jack, I -- I don't know what to say.
Uh, I'm sorry? You know, I got to tell you Worst date ever.
Ohh! Oh, yeah.
Is that my keyboard? Dan, I'm pretty sure the taxpayers buy those computers So you can solve crimes on them.
I'll tell you, it's a crime how much my back itches.
So, Jacko, what kind of punks are we busting today? Uh, the kind that throw rocks through house windows.
Sounds promising.
Yeah, it sounds like vandalism.
Hey, listen, I got to get back to court.
Thank you for helping me with these arrest reports.
And tomorrow, don't forget.
Rangers/yanks game.
Don't be late.
It's gonna be awesome.
I'll be there.
First round's on me.
Cool, man.
So, jacquelyn, tell me something.
Uh, after she took your manhood, where'd she put it -- Like, in a jar someplace? Are you implying that I am no longer a man Because I'm going out with Liz and her friends? Jack, she said goodbye and punched you in the arm.
I mean, come on.
The only place a woman should punch a man is in the face.
Okay.
There's a story there, and I'm not asking what it is.
Jack, you don't do something with a girl You do with your friends.
It sends the wrong message.
And that message would be that I am also, in fact, One of her friends? Yeah, exactly.
A "friend.
" No longer a sexual threat.
Not long before you're just another one of the girls.
So, watching baseball at a sports bar Makes me a girl? Exactly.
A scared, helpless little girl.
We found this rock on the floor.
So, did you know of anyone Who would've wanted to do this? Ex-boyfriend? Those angry neighbors perhaps? No idea.
Okay, I want you young ladies to think hard.
First, it's just a small rock coming through the window.
Then it's a bigger one.
Next thing you know, find a guy hiding in your closet With a camcorder and a bottle of scotch.
Dan! Uh, j-just to be clear, ladies, That scenario seems highly unlikely here.
Uh, w-when did this happen? Uh, about 11:30 last night.
Sarah and I were in her bed watching a movie, And then there was a really loud crash.
You were both in bed, together? I have to see exactly what was going on When this rock came flying through the window.
Come on.
Um, how is that supposed to help? Sometimes to crack a case, it's helpful To see the crime from the victims' point of view.
Would you describe it as snuggling, Or was it more like spooning? No, Detective, I already told you.
We were watching a movie.
We're just roommates.
Yeah, of course you are.
We are.
No, uh-huh.
I-I know.
We took your statement.
That should be enough for now.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no.
We're gonna follow through with this.
Vanessa, I want you to go back with me, okay? Now, you and Sarah -- you're lying here.
You're watching your movie, whatever.
Say Sarah needs some baby lotion.
Reaches over you to get a little squirt right there, and Boom! Jack, get in here.
Look.
Not getting into a bed you're already in, Dan.
Look! Out the window! Broken street lamps.
Well, whoever broke those probably broke your window, too.
Mmm.
Vanilla almond.
That's nice.
Wow, Dan, somehow, climbing into bed with the victim Leads to some pretty solid police work.
Who would want to break street lights? Someone who didn't want anyone to see what they were doing.
Well, I'm aiming for 30 cars, But there's no guarantee I'll hit that mark.
Now, the ship taking them overseas Leaves out of Baton Rouge in two days, so the cars Have to be on a train out of Dallas tomorrow night.
If they're not, I'm in a real bind.
I can hardly take stolen cars through customs, now, can I? Right.
Cheers.
Here's your cash, guvernor.
Straight to voicemail again.
I imagine she's just busy.
I really love this girl, you know, but she's driving me mad.
She never answers the phone, Takes her sweet time returning my calls.
You don't think she's seeing someone else behind my back, do you? With all due respect, sir, perhaps if you could learn To fully put your trust in someone else, You'll find your relationships more fulfilling.
It's funny -- I didn't realize you had a second career As a bloody advice columnist! And we're late.
Where's my gun? I trust you'll feel better once all these cars Are on that train, eh? I'm sorry, you guys.
Our trains ain't running no more.
Uh, we had a deal.
You and your lot were supposed to put our cars -- Well, maybe you can appreciate my situation, then, all right? My boss got pinched yesterday.
They found a bunch of coke In -- in one of our shipping containersAllegedly.
I wish there was something I could do.
I know this might be bad timing, but I was just wondering if maybe I can get my $20,000.
I beg your pardon? Well, now, you still have that warehouse Over there for storage, and I was the one who found it.
All I'm saying here, my u.
K.
Brothers, It was not easy finding a place no one else knows about.
I did my job.
I should get my half of the cash.
So, what you're saying is, Finding a place this remote and out of the way, That was difficult for you.
Unbelievably difficult.
Look, I just figure I deserve something for my efforts.
Yes, you do.
Take our friend, Bill To some other place that no one knows about.
And she still hasn't called! Probably shagging some other bloke.
I just know it.
Nigel, is it possible you're acting a tad bit Jealous! You got to make Liz jealous.
First thing you got to do Is you got to cancel this girls' night out.
Oh, uh, Detective, uh, Joyce, can -- can we just talk -- Oh, guys, I'm sorry.
There's nothing else I can do.
We can't provide you with the resources you requested.
You're the organized crime task force.
Crime doesn't get any more organized than this.
More organized than kids throwing rocks through street lamps? Okay, look.
Hear us out, okay? Now, we looked into the neighborhoods With, uh, broken street lamps, And we noticed a crazy pattern -- Stolen vintage American cars In almost all of these neighborhoods.
I mean, white rock, Shady grove.
An established crew wouldn't go after old American cars.
There's no market for them.
Well, maybe not here, but we did some research, And there's a huge demand for them In Europe and parts of China.
All we want is a bait car to see if we're on to something.
I wish I could help.
I do.
Thanks again for your report.
I'll make sure lieutenant Orman Takes another look in the next week or two.
Week or two? Give me a day or two with a bait car, I'll bust these auto banditos.
If, uh, anything else comes up on this, Detective Bailey, Feel free to call me directly.
Holy mother.
Did you s-- Kristen was all, like, ooh, on your arm.
Man, you got to get on that.
Well, first off, it's "Kiersten.
" And, second, she barely touched my arm.
It was more incidental, at least.
No, man, come on.
That's incidental.
This is like, ooh.
That's a sign.
Come on.
It's like, "Jack, I want to climb your beanstalk.
" You think it's a sign when the checkout lady Asks you for paper or plastic.
I know a sign when I see one.
She's nibblin'.
You got to yank the rod, hook her, dude.
Liz will go nuts.
Okay, look, I'm more focused on the fact That the crime task force is using our report To line their trash cans, okay? Wait a minute.
Huh? I got an idea.
What? Come with me.
Where we going? Well, you're the one who's saying That we always got to improvise, right? Hell yeah! Hell no! It's American.
It's vintage.
It's mine! Well, we'll be careful.
We'll put a tracking device in it.
We'll let them steal it.
And we'll trace the signal.
We'll catch the bad guys.
It's a piece of cake.
How about I let them steal you? Or how about something you love? Your hair gel? Your mother?! Look, Dan, are you really gonna let the bad guys go Because you're worried about your car? Come on! I thought you were all about busting punks.
I have heard tell if you love something, set it free And then track it down.
Okay, I'm in.
Good! Okay, now all we got to do Is get our hands on a tracking device.
From the department? After the task force shut us down? Not gonna happen.
I got an idea of where we could get one.
Come on, y-you want to lock me in the trunk of your car Till somebody steals it? Julius -- No, "Julius," nothing, man.
I can't believe I came all the way out here for this.
I mean, you just said you needed one little favor.
We need the tracky thingy.
You know me -- if I could hack your leg off, I would.
Come on, stark.
Give me one good reason why I'd ever consider Doing this, man.
I'll give you one.
You aid us in this investigation, We'll get the tracking device removed.
You got a girlfriend in Jamaica, right? Bet you haven't seen her in a while.
You help us out, you can legally leave the country again.
Y'all can do that, for real? Well, I'm sure the two of us can figure something out Off the books.
No doubt.
And where y'all gonna be exactly? Just right around there, out of sight, But we'll be keeping track of you with this.
See that blinking dot? That's you.
That's me right there? You look good.
We got your back.
Ohh.
Man, this is crazy, but all right.
Okay.
All right.
Hey, you know what, I wanted you to have -- Just so you'd be comfortable.
Here's some snacks Thank you.
Some water.
Hey, if you start to lose consciousness, There's a release right there.
You'll want to know where that is.
Okay.
Okay? All right, look, man, y'all really -- I'm claustrophobic, man.
I don't like small spaces.
Don't leave me in here that long.
Okay.
Finally.
Where the hell you been? Ohh.
Took forever.
Sandwich shop.
There was a line.
Oh, man, I'm starving.
Has the little blinking light moved? UhNo.
Dan, what are you looking at? Playing with the computer machine, seeing if I could work it.
You know, they're -- they're handier than I thought.
You know, you really should not be looking at this sort of thing On a district computer.
It's the most natural thing in the world.
God.
I was only gone for 30 minutes.
How many windows did you open up? I don't know what that means.
Oh.
Dan, it's been infected with a virus.
Computers can't get sick.
Yes, they do, Dan.
The computer's frozen.
Well, which is it? Is it sick or is it cold? It's broken.
Julius! My car! If those bastards put a scratch on my car Or on the guy in the trunk.
We got to get some medicine for the computer machine! THE GOOD GUYS Fix that damn thing yet? Almost! Almost! Come on.
Do they ever work? They do when you don't break them, Dan.
Okay, here they are.
Here they are.
They're -- they're three miles away.
Just keep heading South on McKinney.
McKinney.
Hang on, baby.
Daddy's comin'! Daddy's comin'.
All right, on three.
Uno, dos, tres.
Get 'em up! Police! Police! Julius? I should've never listened to y'all! Hey, buddy.
Sorry.
W-w-we had some technical difficulties, okay? But, look, you know, we're -- We're really glad to see that you're okay.
Where the hell is my car?! Is he serious? Man, I-I've been in this stinking-ass trunk I don't know how long.
I-I'm listening to some scary-sounding English car thieves, and I'm thinking, "great.
"I'm about to get killed, And it's not even an American that's gonna kill me.
" What kind of English? Keith Richards English or Elton John English? You know what, I didn't stick around long enough to have tea.
You don't know what I've been through.
Aah! I know that you're cold.
I-I know that you're angry.
And y-you have every right to be, but right now We need you to take us to where they took Dan's car.
I want this damn thing off of my ankle tomorrow.
I will find you! Yep.
This is the place.
If you check that fence over there, You'll find pieces of my arm on it.
My baby's in that building.
We got to roll.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Hold on.
Hold on.
What? What are you doing? What, are you writing a book? Who the hell you think you are -- mariel Hemingway? We got bad guys down there.
I'm taking down the license plate numbers on those cars, Give them to the organized crime task force.
Come on! You mean, w-we're not gonna do this thing Right here, right now? No, not without a warrant, we're not, no.
We don't see your car, We don't know if those cars have been stolen.
And if Julius is right, These guys sound like they're armed and dangerous.
Well, it's simple.
We got a car carrier You need a car carrier.
So we want $400,000 to move your cars to Baton Rouge.
Anything less than that's gonna be considered an insult.
Well, forgive me for insulting you, Mr.
Mackey, And I certainly do respect your position, As illustrated by your shotgun, But if you're still not inclined to renegotiate A more reasonable asking price May I offer an incentive? Alec.
I believe you mean this, sir.
Well, I respect your position, too, But if you ain't inclined To meet our more than reasonable asking price, Then maybe we could offer our own incentive To help you rethink your incentive system deal.
That's you, man.
Oh.
Hmm.
I see.
Won't be a moment.
Hello, darling.
I've been absolutely dying to hear from you.
Well, working late is one thing, But you could at least pick up a phone and call ba-- What? Well, how on earth could -- Yeah, no, you're absolutely right.
I-I-I'm very, very glad that you called.
I'm very, very glad.
Yes.
Uh, you know I love you, right? Well, you, uh Twisted my arm with your impressive negotiating skills.
We'll do it for $400,000.
Come on.
Told ya! You do know that you're only supposed to eat The part in the middle, right -- You know, the peanutty part? Shell's the most nutritious part.
You know that the Shell is like 80% cellulose? That means that essentially you're eating tree bark.
Salty, delicious tree bark.
Enjoy.
Well -- but -- Peanut shells are what they use to make drywall, Dan.
Drywall.
Oh.
Kiersten.
Hey.
I have good news, detectives.
We ran those plates.
And every single one of those cars was stolen.
What the hell we waiting for? Let's go bust some punks! We have to wait for lieutenant Orman to sign the warrant, Then the task force will lead the raid.
You're more than welcome to come and observe.
Observe.
That's right, Detective stark.
I hope that's not a problem.
No, I love a field trip.
By the way, how did you find this warehouse? You didn't have a bait car, department resources.
We locked our snitch in my trunk.
Ha ha ha ha! Ha! That's a good one.
No, uh, we just followed some solid leads.
I mean, it was luck, really.
Well, I'm glad you did.
Gives us an excuse to work together, right? Right.
Right.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
What is your freaking problem? Kristen is offering herself up to you on a platter.
It's like this woman is in heat.
Dan, her name is kiersten.
Hey, man, doesn't matter what her name is.
You're never gonna see her naked.
I know I won't.
Jack, can I, um, ask you something? In private? She asked you out? Yeah.
Wow! So, are you embarrassed? It's kind of the man's job.
Actually, Dan, I'm kind of looking forward to it.
Tonight should be a fantastic evening.
You're going out with her tonight? Yeah.
Why? Is that a problem? No.
No, no.
No, it's fine.
You -- you have fun.
Why do I get the sneaking suspicion That I've somehow made you jealous? We should be going out tonight! You don't celebrate a bust with your lady friend.
You celebrate it with your partner.
You do realize that we are not life partners.
You know what Frank and me used to do to celebrate a bust? Oysters and beer.
I-it was fascinating.
You didn't know what was gonna make you puke first.
You try taking that kind of journey with kristen.
It's Kiersten.
And I'd like to come up with plans that don't involve vomit.
What about the other thing I told you before? Or getting punched in the face, either.
You all get out of there in one piece.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
All right, gentlemen.
Whatever hell on earth we find On the other se of that door Let's remember one thing.
Protect The gray trans am.
You think I'm kidding? Then let's roll.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Move it! Move it! Move it! Where the hell are they? It's like they knew we were coming.
How's that possible? Won't be a moment.
Hello, darling.
I've been absolutely dying to hear fr you.
Nigel, I'm still at work.
Well, working late is one thing, But you could at least pick up a phone and call ba-- They found your warehouse.
What? Well, how on earth could -- It doesn't matter how.
You got to move your cars now, okay? Yeah, no, you're absolutely right.
I-I-I'm very, very glad that you called.
I'm very glad that you called.
Uh, you know I love you, right? I love you, too, baby.
Someone told them we were coming.
Since Julius is a convicted criminal Who was trapped in a trunk, He's the leading candidate, and we need to track him down And ask him some questions.
Track him? You know what, I already got his -- his tracky thingy.
It's right here.
I pulled some strings.
Pulled some strings? What are you -- Yeah, you know Earl, his probation officer With the oily hair and the tooth? Yeah, uh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
I'll take care of it.
Guys, we found your car.
You what? That's -- that's real funny, Hodges.
Hey, your father called.
He wants his seed back.
Talk to me, baby.
Tell me where you are.
I just don't understand Why you insist on having dinner with this Jack chap.
Because he and his partner are wild cards.
I denied their request for a bait car, But they found the warehouse anyway.
I want to know how they did it without going through the proper channels, And they're not telling me the whole story.
Are you doing this for me or because you fancy this chap? Oh, my God, Nigel.
I-I thought you'd be happy about this.
You know, this jealousy thing is getting really out of hand.
Yes, you're -- you're right.
I'm sorry, darling.
Could you make it a lunch instead of a dinner, though? Will that make you happy? Yes.
Pardon me, Nigel.
Sorry.
When I'm finished with the cars, shall I give this place A little bit of a scrubbing, as well? No, leave it.
No point in cleaning up one mess When we're making another one As soon as those wankers with the car carriers arrive.
I mean, we're letting other nations just Rob us blind.
Factories, plants, call centers, you name it.
You know who the number-one exporter is of American flags? Uh, America? Yeah, you'd think so, right? China.
Korea's right there, too.
Then in walks this fancy british feller Stealing all these vintage cars made here in the U.
S.
Of a.
It just ain't right.
We should be the one with all them cars.
I don't know.
We couldn't sell them here.
So we'd have to chop them up And find the buyers who want the parts.
It'd be a whole lot of work.
You're not listening to what I'm saying here.
What I'm saying is this -- Is that if anybody is gonna make money Off of stolen American cars, it should be Americans.
Made in America, stoled in America, Chopped in America.
Not to mention we'd still be taking That $400,000 U.
S.
What do you say about that? I think it sounds like the patriotic thing to do.
I'm starving.
You want to go jam a burrito? I would, but I actually just got a text from, uh, Kiersten.
She forgot that she's got dinner plans tonight, So she asked if, uh, you know, we could have lunch.
Today? You're having your date now? Actually, you want you know what, I-I-I should cancel 'cause, I mean, we're busy.
We got to go find Julius.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I-I-I can handle Julius.
I think you should -- You should go on your date, Jack.
You got a date, Jack? Uh, well, no, I mean, it's really just a lunch, really.
It's with, uh, kristen, That smoking-hot chick from the task force.
She is in heat for Jack.
Mating season.
Wait, you mean Kiersten? Kristen, yeah.
Kiersten, the -- wow.
She'sBeautiful.
Hmm.
Jack, you should really Get on that.
Uh, good job.
I'm -- I'm real happy for you.
Whoa.
I'm s-- what? You're doing something with your mouth.
Are -- What? It's like -- are -- Are you jealous? Don't be ridiculous.
I'm not jealous.
You're looking pretty jealous, Liz.
I'm not jealous! Oh, my Listen to this advice.
Put on that cute smile that you do That all the girls love, and, uh, be yourself, And if she's got half a brain in her pretty head, She will take her lunch to go and rip off all your clothes, And I will not be one bit jealous.
Amen.
Okay.
Thanks for the tip, Liz.
Mm-hmm.
I'm so glad we had this talk.
Come on, bring it in.
Bring it in.
Come on.
Group hug.
I'm sitting -- no.
I'll sit this one out.
Okay.
More Jacko for me.
Come here.
Give it to me.
Mmm.
Uh, okay.
Okay.
You want to know what? You just lifted my car keys.
Yeah, I did.
I'll drop you at your flesh wrestle.
I just got to go pick up Julius.
I don't have a car.
No.
Absolutely not.
Look, fool me once, fool me twice, however many times -- Man, I am not getting back in another damn trunk Of another damn car.
Look, j-bone, calm down.
What?! I know you were traumatized yesterday.
I just think if we re-create the situation, It may jar loose some memories -- Where they're going, what they're doing, anything.
No.
No.
Come on, my brother.
I thought we had a deal.
I thought we were gonna help each other.
Man, we did help each other out.
No, I helped you.
Did I get that tracky thingy off your ankle? Yes, I did.
Did we bust some car-thief punks And get back my bad-ass ride? No, we did not.
Sounds to me like a "quid pro no quo.
" I want my quo.
Alright.
Fine.
I'll re-create the situation of getting in your damn trunk.
You said these characters were English.
Could you translate anything they were saying? They were speaking English, Dan.
I know they speak English.
I just can't understand A damn thing they say unless they're singing.
Were they singing? No, man, they wasn't singing.
They was, like -- They was talking about trains and shipping cars And oversea buyers, man.
One dude kept yapping about his girlfriend.
Did you get any names? Dude with the girlfriend's name was, uh, niles.
And I think the girl's name was, uh, kristen.
Kristen? Yeah.
Man, what does this help? Man, what, you gonna put an a.
P.
B.
Out For all the Kristens in Dallas? That's the name of the smoking-hot chick on the task force.
That's it! That's how they knew we were coming.
Jack! No, no! Let me -- yo! Oh, I'm -- geez! Let me ride with you! That's a terrible idea, Nigel.
If I bring Jack to you, my cover will be blown.
Not if we kill him.
Nigel, baby, you would never want to kill a cop If you didn't have some delusional idea That there was something going on between him and I.
Is there something going on between the two of you? No.
Well, then, it shouldn't be a problem.
See you soon.
Hi.
I -- uh.
I, uh, hope you like calamari.
I ordered it as an appetizer.
Actually, um, I know this might sound crazy, But, uh, do you want to get out of here? Uh, yeah, sure.
Any place you had in mind? How far away do you live? Uh, well, not far.
Not far.
Jack! Jack! There's something you need to know about kristen! Okay, Jack! Holster that weapon! I'm coming in! Holy Jack?! Okay.
Here we are.
Home.
My home.
Uh, let's see, You'll probably be wanting a grand tour, yeah? Let's just start with the couch.
Okay.
Yes, we can do that.
The couch is, uh -- Okay, well, uh, the couch is in the living room.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Liz was right.
What? Uh, nothing, nothing.
Don't worry about it.
It's okay.
Ohh.
Couch.
Oh.
Good couch.
Oh, oh, hey, uh, watch -- watch my weapon.
Mm-hmm.
Mmm.
Okay.
Okay, we should go to another room.
Kiersten, what are you Sorry about the mixed signals, but I need you to meet my boyfriend.
You have a boyfriend? Yeah.
His name is Nigel.
I think you two are gonna not hit it off.
The car thieves.
You told them we were coming.
Hmm.
Now, normally I don't bring out the handcuffs This early in the relationship, But, uh, well, you understand.
Put these on, Jack.
Nice and slow.
Ugh! Okay.
Okay.
You got me, Jack.
Aah! Ahh! Sorry, Jack.
You and I are gonna go for a ride.
If the idea is to keep them from coming after us, What's the difference between killing them And just shooting them in the legs? Because in that scenario, The british guys don't end up dead.
What, you think our founding fathers won By aiming for the legs? I just -- I ain't ever killed anyone before.
What if I can't? It's simple, man.
You just shoot them in the back of the head.
Do you realize in about 2015, There's gonna be more mexican restaurants in this country Than there are American restaurants? I like tacos.
So do I, but that ain't the point.
We're fighting for our country here, man.
What if they're looking at me? Do I shoot them in the front of the head? The front of the head is also called the face.
And, yeah, the front of the head is a kill shot, too.
Come on.
Are you crazy? You're kidnapping a police officer.
Whoo! Knock yourself out, cowboy.
But let me warn you -- after you break those handcuffs, You're gonna need to chew your way through the door.
So you probably want to hurry it up.
You're making a big mistake.
Whoo-hoo! Jack's in trouble.
Kristen is a dirty cop And not in a good way.
It's just you and me.
No, it's not, man -- look, I have already done More than enough for you, okay? Just call for backup, and then you drive my ass home.
I got no one else I can trust.
It's -- it's you and me, my brother.
Come on, we got -- We got to prove that this kristen chick is a mole.
And can you please stop saying "we"? Please.
Detectives stark and Bailey.
Stark and Bailey.
What's your 20? Detective stark here.
Detective stark, are you aware that your c.
I.
Julius Grant's Ankle tracking device was deactivated And then reactivated? Wait, you're -- reactivated? Why was it deactivated? I don't know.
Crime.
I -- I got to go.
Why the hell is your ankle tracky thingy Beeping all of a sudden? Whoo! Knock yourself out, cowboy.
But let me warn you -- after you break those handcuffs, You're gonna need to chew your way through the door.
So you probably want to hurry it up.
You're making a big mistake.
Ooh-hoo.
Quit.
The beeping -- the beeping has got to be Jack.
Hello, handsome.
Took you long enough, didn't it? Ah.
It's always lovely to meet another member Of Dallas' finest.
Pity we missed each other when you raided my warehouse.
You know, you caused me quite a headache.
Do you realize how difficult it was To find this dump at such short notice? Not to mention the fact That it's making my cars absolutely filthy.
Okay, well, okay, look, look.
You don't want to do this.
You don't want to kill a police officer.
People I work with, the entire department, They're gonna be looking for you.
I'm afraid you're wrong about that, mate.
I'm sorry it has to end this way, detective Bailey.
Ah, well, I'm really wishing I didn't take you back to my place.
Ha! You went back to his place? It was the only way I could get his gun off of him.
That wasn't part of the plan.
Oh, you're a really lucky man.
You know, she's very good at her job.
Ohh! Did you sleep with him?! No, of course not! She's slept with half the Dallas police department.
I mean, everybody knows about her.
Let me guess -- she's always "working late"? Huh? Shut the hell up.
That's not true.
Is that why you never answer your cellphone? No, I never answer my phone because I'm working at my job As a police officer.
Okay, hey, you want to know what? Believe what you want.
Okay? But she is a fantastic liar.
I mean, she fooled me.
Shut the hell up, Jack! Nigel, baby Do you know how much I've sacrificed to be with you? I would never be unfaithful.
Why don't I believe you? Because you're insanely jealous.
Let's just kill them both, Alec.
Sorry about this, Kiersten.
It'd be easier if you don't put up a fight.
Nigel, this is ridiculous! As ridiculous As you shagging half the cops in the city? Any more tricks up your sleeve? I sure hope so.
Why won't this damn thing work? Come on, you stupid bastard.
Is it go time? Is it go time? Huh? Oh.
This is crazy.
Uh, I'll quit my job.
We'll spend more time together.
Yeah, you should definitely quit your job.
No, Kiersten.
This has been festering In our relationship for quite a while now.
You know, sometimes the only thing to do Is to just get it all out in the open.
Nigel, I wonder if maybe you're being a bit rash.
Aah! Alec! Sorry to interrupt! Who the hell are these guys? I think they're supposed to be the drivers.
But I believe you got $400,000 for us.
And there's been a change of plans.
It's another sort of border patrol.
Ain't none of these American cars leaving America.
You think you're smarter than me?! Huh?! Do you?! Do you?! Hey, Dan.
Dan! Come on! Come on! Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on.
I got to get packed.
Come on! Yeah! I got it! Tell me where my partner is! Get that gun.
I do believe This is what you call an incentive.
I suppose you'll be wanting the keys.
Go on, Nigel.
Come on, Dan.
What's taking so long? Stupid! Mind-freak robot! It's like you're thinking my thoughts! It's like you're in my head! I can't take it! You're freaking me out! Hey, whoa, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay? I'm freaking out! Can I -- let me just -- can I do this? I'm freaking out! Let me just try -- Freaking out! Okay.
Hey.
Hey! You got it going? Yes.
All right.
Nice.
W, it's just -- Okay, it's a simple tracking program, all right? You follow the -- the coordinates.
Good work, Julius.
Wow, it's like you're the computer-machine whisperer.
Well, uh, let's roll.
Tell me where my partner is.
That's not gonna work.
Okay, listen.
Just -- tell me where! Give it here.
All right, look, go 30 East to Westmoreland.
For the last time, I don't have your $400,000! I had no intention of following through On that ludicrous deal that we made.
I was gonna kill you and steal your car carrier.
I knew I couldn't trust you the second I heard that funny accent.
Oh, don't get all high and mighty.
You're the one who's standing there with a shotgun About to kill me and steal the cars I stole.
Give me whatever money you got on you.
Let's go.
It's a little tricky, isn't it? Because you shot the guy who handles my accounts.
Who the hell are they? She was my -- Actually they're both Dallas police officers.
You got to be kidding me, man! Let's talk.
You know, figure something out.
You can kill the others, but if you let me live, You'll have a cop working for you on the inside -- A cop no one else knows about.
Listen, sister There is no one here that appreciates What you do for the country more than I do.
But I cannot risk letting you walk out of here alive.
Please.
You don't have to do this.
I don't really have a choice here.
Jack, I don't know what to say.
Uh, I'm sorry? You know, I got to tell you Worst date ever.
Is that my car? A cop no one else knows about.
Hey, hey, you got an extra gun? No, no.
You've done enough.
Time for you to get out of here.
No, wait, wait.
You go have fun in Jamaica.
Wait, you can't do this alone, man.
You -- you're gonna get your ass shot off, Dan.
We need a distraction.
I think I finally figured out how to use a computer machine.
Is that my car? Freeze! Police! You remember what I said about them british fellers? You mean about aiming for the head? Yep.
That applies in this case, too.
Hey, your girlfriend's making a run for it! Not my girlfriend! That's a shame.
That's a true American classic.
How could you do this? I really thought we h something.
Kristen, love.
We can work this out.
My name's Kiersten.
This one's out of bullets.
That means it's time for us to go.
Come on.
Come on.
My baby! Handcuffs, huh? Yeah, and she punched me in the face! My kind of woman! You don't mess with a man's ride.
Son of a bitch! No offense, Jack, But you're not getting a good-night kiss.
Freeze! Police! Well, I-I mean, He's -- he's the police.
I'm just helping out.
We did it, partner.
The trans am is safe.
Yeah, me too.
I just shot him in the leg.
I don't want to go to jail.
You make me sick.
Jack Bailey, that has to qualify As the worst first date in the history of first dates.
Yeah, you're right about that.
Boy, you got here in a hurry.
That's what people do when their friends are kidnapped.
By a girl.
It doesn't make any difference to me that she's a girl.
But, no, you know what does make a difference to me? She was a hot girl.
Detective stark, Can I have five minutes alone with Jack Bailey, please? You all right? Yeah.
I'm glad you're okay.
Thanks, Liz.
And I have a small confession to make.
I was maybe, earlier, Just marginally jealous.
You were? Huh.
I was.
I guess I saw something in your eyes I haven't seen since us.
Well, you, uh, you did say Some awfully nice things about me.
Yeah, well, don't let it go to your head.
Okay.
Hey, listen, I was thinking it's not too late To catch a few innings of that rangers game.
If you want to, I could grab us some seats up or something.
I don't know.
What do you think? Uh Yeah, uh, you know, I mean, that's a tempting offer, But Dan and I, we sort of have a tradition after a big bust.
Oh.
Okay.
Maybe some other time.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm? Mm-hmm.
Okay.
So Oysters and beer? Until we puke.