The Indian Detective (2017) s01e02 Episode Script
Episode 2
1 [DOUG.]
Previously, on The Indian Detective.
You've been suspended for a month.
A month? - We still on for tonight? - Yeah.
- No friggin' way.
- Yeah.
- Is everything okay? - Not okay.
You must come now.
I thought you had a heart attack! It felt like a heart attack.
It was gas.
- Very bad gas.
- [DOUG.]
Have we met? - Priya Sehgal.
Will you help me? - Yes.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah! [PRIYA.]
We're here about the chai-wallah Vimal.
He confessed to a murder he didn't commit.
Now why would he do that? [DOUG.]
Maybe he's covering for somebody.
[GOPAL.]
I can arrange for the charges to be dropped.
For a price.
[PHONE VIBRATING.]
You're up late, bro.
You sound awfully calm for someone who just lost $50 million.
I didn't lose it.
The DEA seized it.
After you failed to get it across the border.
Yeah, what choice did I have? Toronto PD got tipped off.
How was I supposed to know the DEA would find it last night? I need results, Amal.
Not excuses.
I have obtained the deed to the Annapuri land.
That's miraculous.
I need you to secure that $50 million.
Bro, we have no product left to sell.
Certainly not 50 million dollars' worth.
I will get the product.
You just need to get it across the border.
No more excuses, [IN HINDI.]
Understand? All right.
[Doug.]
Gopal and Amal Chandekar: the Terror Twins.
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Papadum; born seven minutes apart and now they live an ocean apart.
Do you know that the word "thug" actually comes from the Hindi word thag, which means "thug," so, as they say in India, Thag Life.
Nice job, there, Constable Fourth Class.
Idiot.
Wait here, Cat.
He's in there? Hold this for me for insurance.
What do you mean you're "quitting"? I've done some shitty stuff for you, and I'm not doing it anymore.
You see, I tell you when you're done.
- Now give it over.
- No.
Said give it over! Not until you promise to let me go.
I don't promise anything.
They you can't have it.
I said give it over, you bitch! [GUNSHOT.]
- No, no, no! - [GASPING.]
Miss! Miss! [THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
[DATTU.]
Ki-coo-rooker-cooooooo.
The rooster says, "Good morning, Bapa.
" Every morning, "Coo-ca-coo-roo, coo-ca-coo-roo.
" Mister Stanley is not a morning person.
Mornings should start at noon.
You can't eat breakfast at noon.
Why can't I eat breakfast at noon? Who's decided that? Did you two get married and I didn't get invited? Lovely fresh chai for you, Bapa.
No coffee? Never.
I miss coffee in this house.
Oh, hey.
Do you guys recognize this? Do you know what this is? A trisula.
Do you mean a trident? A trisula is a sacred weapon of the god Shiva.
Shiva? The one with all the arms? No.
Shiva is the God of destruction.
God of dance.
God of that, you know, that Natraj? He gets better in the afternoon.
I'll, ah, I'll see you guys later.
Bapa, what about breakfast? Oh, I'm okay.
You ladies enjoy it.
Tsk.
Because of you, he called you a lady and me also a lady and can you stop doing this "Coo-ca coo-roo, coo-ca coo-roo"? Ladies don't do that.
They do other things.
Hey, I just want to ask you something What? Really? I think you're cute, too, but, uh Ah I I gotta be straight with ya, India's a little bit much for me and I don't want to break your heart Thank you.
- For being straight.
- Hi.
Dr.
Sehgal.
- I am Doug D'Mello.
- Stanley's son.
- The detective from Toronto.
- Correct.
In Canada.
Uh, I was wondering if I could, ah, see your daughter? So you can break her heart? Oh, no, no, no.
That was, ah I was I was having a conversation with myself about my pet ferret 'cause I'm a goofy white kid from Toronto.
[NERVOUSLY.]
You know yeah.
Hi, Doug.
Hi, Priya.
Come in.
Sure.
Thank you.
Very handsome man.
- [SIGHS.]
- [DOUG.]
He liked me.
I'm pretty sure he liked me, I mean, I'm not a good first impression guy.
I'm more of a third and fourth impression kind of guy.
I don't know.
I kind of grow on you, you know? Like like a nail fungus.
You know, you don't know until a couple weeks later.
I think he liked me.
Want some coffee? Oh, I would, ah No, I'm good.
Thanks.
[PRIYA.]
What do you need? Um, I need to know if you know what that is.
Where'd you find this? Last night when we got out of the rickshaw there was a dude standing by the tree - watching us and he dropped it.
- What'd he look like? About five-seven, light skin, kinda pretty.
He had a gold tooth.
Dad, Doug's going to walk me out.
Your mother said to be home by 7 o'clock.
You mustn't keep Vihaan waiting.
I'll be here.
Love you.
Nice to meet you, Dr.
Sehgal.
Take care of your ferret.
Right! Why are you asking me about this? Because I saw the same symbol back in Canada.
Where? Back of a truck meant to be smuggling heroin into Toronto.
What does it mean? The trisula is a sacred weapon.
Of the God Shiva, the guy with all the arms, right? But also, it's the insignia of Gopal Chandekar, one of the most vicious crime lords in the whole of Mumbai.
- That truck could have been his! - It could be.
He has a twin brother in Toronto.
I was right.
I knew it! Damn it.
But, Doug, Gopal Chandekar is a very dangerous man.
And his brother Amal is a vicious killer.
Vicious is fine.
I can deal with vicious.
- You mean that? - Hell, yeah, I mean that! This guy tries to smuggle tons of heroin into Toronto and he got me demoted.
- I mean the hell out of that! - Let's go.
- Where are we going? - Just get in.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[PRIYA.]
This is another case of mine.
Cathy Jordan, age 22, University of Toronto graduate.
Her parents asked me to help locate her.
She flew to Mumbai six weeks ago and went missing.
Until last night, when she called the police station to report that her friend was killed at a paan shop.
Alison Howell, 24.
Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
Why are you showing me this? Because Cathy said that the man who shot at her was in his mid-20s, small build and with a gold tooth.
Don't worry, Mr.
Marlowe.
No one would dare touch you in my company.
Let's make it quick.
My flight's due to leave in an hour.
I left this place nearly 20 years ago, still can't seem to scrub off the humiliation.
Being poor is nothing to be ashamed of, Chandakar.
[KIDS IN HINDI.]
[GOPAL IN HINDI.]
to say.
You're rich.
Wasn't always.
Yeah, but you were never this poor.
You didn't have to do what I did to get ahead.
You have no idea what I had to do.
Did you get my money? Not yet.
But I have persuaded the billionaire to give me this land.
[SCOFFS.]
I don't want to know how.
That skyscraper will destroy this place once and for all and give me the one thing you have that I don't legitimacy.
Not without my $50 million, it won't.
We've done your dirty work in Toronto.
You don't want to disappoint us.
You think I'm afraid? [LAUGHS.]
You got it backwards, my brown friend.
I'll get your money, Mr.
Marlowe.
Don't bother me again until you do.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
Mr.
and Mrs.
Malkani? - Where are you going? - Home.
Are you forgetting something? Your wife's been charged with murder.
Not anymore.
[CAR ENGINE STARTS.]
[DOUG.]
Whipped it good! Well, well.
Another pest.
Good morning, Inspector Devo.
Why aren't you back home, Toronto? 'Cause it turns out you're not just incompetent, you're corrupt, as well.
You want to say that again? Which part? Incompetent or corrupt? Doug, it's okay.
We saw Mr.
Malkani leaving with his wife, Inspector.
And she had the swami's blood all over her hands.
I don't know anything about that.
Interesting.
You're the one who arrested her, thanks to me! Excuse me! Mrs.
Malkani was released by my order.
Chief Detective Inspector Rubinder "Ruby" Singh.
At this point, I didn't know he was working for Chandekar.
I did, however, really dig that his turban matched his uniform.
Have to give him props for that.
- But she confessed.
- Not before a magistrate.
And you have no legal authority in India, Mr.
D'Mello.
- So, if there's nothing else? - There is something else.
That missing Canadian girl, Cathy Jordan, reported a murder last night.
What of it? We have reason to believe that the murder was committed by a member of Gopal Chandekar's gang.
Gopal Chandekar? What the hell do you know about Gopal Chandekar? We're not free to say.
We want assurance that if Cathy Jordan comes forward, she won't be harmed.
Are you implying something about the integrity of this department, Miss Seghal? I think you know exactly what I'm saying, Deputy Commissioner.
The longer Miss Jordan stays out on the street, the greater the danger.
Find your client and you tell her that.
Well? Is it in here? No, Uncle.
I don't have it.
Where is it then? I don't know.
And now the girl is dead! We fought.
I-I didn't mean to It's vital, Aarav.
You must not fail me.
Mm? I don't know where it is.
But I know who might.
Alison had a friend.
A girl from Canada.
Then find her! [PHONE VIBRATING.]
- [ROBYN.]
Hello? - Bob! You alone? You mean, am I with Rocco? Of course not.
Good! Now, I don't have to throw up in my mouth.
Hey, ah, I need you to do something for me.
- Well, can it wait? - Not really.
Doug.
What? That graffiti? It was a trisula.
It's a symbol for an Indian gang.
Are you sure? Yeah.
I think somebody figured out that we were going to bust that truck and switched the heroin out.
"Somebody.
" But you don't know who.
No.
I need you to get in touch with Jerry Wax for me.
His number's in an address book in my top drawer.
I can't go into work.
I'm suspended, remember? I know.
That's why I told you to go now.
It's the middle of the night.
Nobody'll be there.
[CHUCKLES.]
Doug! - This is crazy.
- I know it's crazy.
That's why I'm asking you to do it.
Who is my crazy partner in crime? You are.
Why do I let you talk me into these things? Because, Bob, deep down inside, you want me.
You want me deep, deep, deep in your thoughts.
Oh Now what? Now we gotta figure out why Gopal's man shot that girl.
- And we gotta find Cathy Jordan.
- How? - You hungry? - Yes.
Well, come on hungry, hungry hippo.
Let's go.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Ask him if he saw anything.
[IN HINDI.]
You want one? - Uh, one one? - Paan.
Oh! You having? - No.
- Oh, then I'm good, you know? He's got his fingers all up in it, you know? - Oh, yeah.
- You should try it, at least.
But, uh, the fingers in it and stuff, that's what I'm not such a big fan of.
Oh, good, more fingers.
- And whatever that stuff is.
- That's good.
Yeah? You never just sit down, watch a movie and grab a tub of that and just eat it? - Taste.
- Okay.
Yeah.
That'd be great.
Thanks, buddy.
Yeah.
Thanks.
[IN HINDI.]
Listen, I appreciate the work you put into it, and the fingers.
I'm not going to eat this 'cause, uh, it's bleeding on me, for one, I think.
Listen, uh, what's that red stuff right there? Take care.
Bye bye.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
People in red-light districts? They generally don't like talking to cops.
You know what I mean! I mean, I'm not saying that you go to red light districts.
Or pick up hookers.
Do you? Just kidding.
But this is kind of a universal truth, you know? The longer I'm in India, the more detective-y I'm becoming.
Good morning.
My God! He speaks English.
Finally.
Please, Mister and Missus, would you like a room? Oh, no.
We are not Mister, or Missus.
Ah twenty minutes, 30 minutes? One hour? Come on! Let's not get crazy.
I'm not an animal.
Three minutes is fine.
Um, sir, we're looking for this girl.
Have you seen her? Can we speak to her? Very sorry, but she went away.
Did she say where? No, Missus.
Can we look at your registry? I don't see any Cathy Jordan on this.
But I see an Alison Howell.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CHANTING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
Your presence honors my family, Ji.
You're broad-minded? A Sikh letting his daughter marry a Hindu.
Why must you Hindus have so many gods? You've come a long way from the slums, my friend.
We both have.
Along different paths.
I hate to trouble you on such a joyous occasion, but this is urgent.
The charges against Mrs.
Malkani were dropped, as you asked.
I speak of another matter.
An American girl, killed at a paan shop outside Kamathipura.
The Canadian detective-wallah is looking for a friend of hers, Cathy Jordan.
This detective-wallah is useful.
You will help him find her.
But Very good, Ji.
No, not him.
You heard me, Devo.
This Canadian wallah isn't even a real detective! Those are your orders, Inspector.
I, ah I told her we'll wait for him, no matter how long it takes.
Why do you do this? - Do what? - Work for the poor.
I mean, I think it's great, what you do.
Just probably make a lot more money doing something else.
[SIGHS.]
This is Pari.
Cute kid.
She was shot dead seven years ago outside the Annapuri slums by men working for Gopal Chandekar.
Why would they kill an innocent child? Her father was going to testify that Gopal was extorting money from all the people in the slums.
I had to make a choice: make money for those who already have it, or provide a defense for the defenseless.
[DOUG.]
She was smart, principled, champion of the poor.
She was like a hot Mother Theresa.
Only not Albanian and not a nun.
No, no, no! Inspector? The Canadian idiot is back.
Well? Look, you tell that fat tub of D we'll wait here all day if we have to.
Inspector Devo will see you now.
You're welcome.
Cathy Jordan checked into a hotel under her friend's name.
So? So run a search for Alison Howell.
If she used her name at the hotel, she might have used it in other places.
I'll run the name for you.
Now get the hell out of here.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Robyn! Looking for this? McKinnon doesn't believe me, but I think you guys are onto something.
We were? Call D'Mello's source.
Tell him you need to meet.
Okay.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
Oh.
Aren't you coming up? No.
I've got to go back to the office.
Look, I know you had a tough day, so why don't I buy you dinner? Dinner? Yeah.
Something that hasn't been thoroughly molested by somebody already? I can't.
I have to be home before seven, remember? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Right.
Who's this "Vihaan", anyway? - My fiancé.
- Your fiancé? - But you're not wearing a ring.
- My parents arranged it.
- People still do that? - Doug, you're not from here.
You won't understand.
I'll let you know when Inspector Devo contacts me.
Okay.
Cool.
[IN HINDI.]
People still do that? [DOOR CLOSES.]
Hey, Dad.
What kind of name is Wolf? That's not a real name.
I think I should write a letter to them.
A letter? No, I think I should tweet to them.
You're on Twitter? Yeah! StanleyTheManly10.
Of course, you're StanleyTheManly10.
I'm shocked that there was nine StanleyTheManly's before you.
Ten is my size.
What is the matter with you? Something is the matter with you.
Ah! Priya dumped you.
- We were never dating.
- Serves you right.
Whose side are you on? I have to nearly die for you to come and visit me.
You had a fart attack, Drama King.
And you come here and spend all your time chasing a skirt.
I'm not the one who moved 7,000 miles away.
I moved home.
My whole life you were someplace else.
Remember that song, "Cat's in the Cradle"? It's my karaoke song.
I was a pilot, making a living, trying to support you and your mother.
And when Mom was dying where were you then? [DOOR SLAMS.]
It's true, isn't it? You know, Bapa, Mr.
Stanley loved your mother very much.
Yeah? Came to visit her, like, twice when she was in the hospital.
Your father is afraid.
You see that, don't you? Afraid of what? [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING.]
I guess this is it.
Constable Gerner? Guess again, Jerry.
You should've kept your mouth shut.
Wait! No, no wait, wait, wait, wait! [GUNSHOT.]
- You stay there, babe.
- Stay here, my ass! Oh, my God! I'm okay.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
No.
That's not the guy you want.
He's too clean looking! You don't want that clean, thin, good hair.
What you want is a chubby guy with a with a "fivehead" because it's bigger than a forehead.
That's what you want.
It's what you need.
Not James "Bund" over there.
He sucks.
[PHONE RINGING.]
[SIGHS.]
Bob.
Did you talk to Jerry? Yeah.
- I arranged to meet him.
- And what'd he say? Oh, hold on.
Roc wants to talk with you.
Roc? Dougster? It's not Dougster.
It's just Doug, not no "ster.
" Listen, you and Rob were on to something with that whole truck-at-the-border thing, and you know what? I already told McKinnon.
Thanks, Roc-ster.
It's like "rock star.
" You get it? Yeah, I get it.
Anyway, Rob seems to think that you said that the graffiti connects to some Indian gangsters.
Is that right? Yeah.
Gopal and Amal Chandekar.
I was hoping Jerry knew something about it.
I think he did, too, Dougster.
I think he did, too.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- I can't believe you got him - "Kikeroo-coo-coo", - to go.
- Says the rooster.
Good morning, Bapa! Come and have some chai.
Good morning, my son Douglas.
It would have been a good morning, but what is that doing here? You never told me you were working with a man of letters! Oh, hardly that.
Who, Devo? The one-hit wonder here? Nonsense.
Abishek is an extraordinarily well-read person.
Who's "Abishek".
You? That sucks.
Premchand, Narayan, Chatterjee, he' s a walking, talking encyclopedia on Indian literature.
I read in my spare time.
But you, Mr.
D'Mello, you truly are a man of the world.
I've traveled a bit, that's all.
I've read stories, but you? You've lived them, sir.
And those are the stories that won't make you blush.
[LAUGHING.]
Did you spike their tea? You must know them all by heart.
All the adventures your father has been on in South America, Africa, the Antarctic.
I know who he is.
He's my father.
I know what he's done.
What do you want? - Bapa! - You must forgive him, Abishek.
His mother raised him with better manners than that.
But it was a pleasure meeting you.
- Yes.
- Not at all.
- We should get going.
- Who's we? - You and me, Toronto.
- Yeah? Where are we going? To see Cathy Jordan.
[DOUG.]
How'd you find her? As you suggested.
She's been traveling under the name Alison Howell.
- [BRAKES SCREECHING.]
- Whoa! Play Gran Turismo? I prefer Super Mario Brothers.
[DOUG.]
So this is an ashram? [DEVO.]
An ashram shala.
What's the difference? It's not just spiritual instruction of adults.
It's a school for children.
Oh.
Bet you their football team sucks.
[IN HINDI.]
were starving in India.
[COW MOOING.]
Well, A is for? [CATHY.]
Apple.
And? Alligator.
And? Astronaut B is for? [CATHY.]
Bear.
And? Banana.
And? - [KIDS.]
Boats.
- Boats! Miss Jordan, Inspector Abishek Devo with the Mumbai Police.
Doug D'Mello.
With a "d.
" - How did you find me? - Alison's name.
You used it here and at the hotel.
Have you caught the man that shot her? You said he had a slight build, was five-foot-seven, 140 pounds and a gold tooth? Yeah.
I met him once or twice.
I don't know his name.
But she dated him a few times, I think.
We think he's with Gopal Chandekar.
Who? Gopal Chandekar.
A very dangerous criminal.
I haven't heard that name.
She was mixed up in some pretty bad stuff and she wanted out.
What kind of bad stuff? She'd go hiking in the Kullu Valley and sometimes she'd carry back drugs.
And last time, I think she stole something.
What did she steal? I really don't know.
Alison came here to find herself, just like me.
Now to end up like this Cathy, let me ask you something: why did you use Alison's name? If my parents knew where I was, they'd make me go home.
Ms.
Jordan, do not leave the ashram.
Not until we get to the bottom of this.
- Well? - Cathy Jordan's safe.
- We found her finding herself.
- Where? At an ashram shala in Velwad.
She was teaching some children there.
Her parents will be so relieved.
Good afternoon.
Thank you to your father and Dattu for the tea.
[BAD HINDI ACCENT.]
No problem.
Why does he always talk like that? [HINDI MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[SIGHS.]
[IN HINDI.]
We found the Canadian girl.
No thanks to you.
She's in Valwad.
I won't let you down.
You've already let me down.
[IN HINDI.]
police work, Detective.
I told you to stop calling me that.
But you are a police officer.
Well, constable, fourth class.
I just got demoted.
You look like you need an ashram yourself.
Oh, really? What, to "find myself"? Ashrams are places for spiritual enlightenment and healing.
[CHUCKLES.]
Really? I don't see much enlightenment or healing around here.
What do you see when you look at Mumbai? Crime? Dirt? No, actually, I don't see that.
I can't really get past some of the smells that I'm getting.
But you're not seeing what is right in front of your eyes.
Well, that's because my eyes are watering because of some of the scents that I'm picking up with my giant beak.
When people don't have money, they learn to place value on things like family and being true to their gods.
Indian people place these things in the center of their lives.
Do you? Oh, yeah! Absolutely.
I right here, dead center.
Doug.
Do you know how long your father's lived in our building? [SIGHS.]
About five years.
And this is the first time you've come to see him.
Do you have time to go to the ashram? What for? Cathy's parents are worried sick.
I need her to let me tell them where she is.
Sure.
Let's go.
[CLANKING.]
- Where is it? - What? [EXCLAIMS.]
I said, "Where is it"? I don't know what you're looking for.
I swear.
Her phone.
Huh? She must have given you her phone.
Yes.
Okay.
I'll get it.
There.
Please go.
No.
- You're coming with me.
- No.
Please! [GRUNTS.]
[GUNSHOT.]
I've taken her statement.
She's free to go.
Do you know what he wanted with that phone? Alison said it was her insurance.
I don't know why.
I can arrange for a place for you to stay.
It's all right.
I've decided to go home.
What happened to finding yourself? I thought I was running away from my parents.
But I guess, really, I was running away from myself.
It's not safe for you to go back to that ashram, Cathy.
We'll find someplace safe for you, somewhere where nobody will find you.
Not even the police.
If you think I sent Gopal's men then you are a bigger idiot than I thought you were.
Now get out of here! All of you.
You're annoying me.
Here's the evidence from the Jordan case.
[MUSIC ON TV PLAYING.]
Is this for the Jordan case? The evidence must be kept secure.
Lock it in the safe.
Now, Constable Cheema.
So, I don't have any plans tonight.
Do you want to get something to eat? Aren't you engaged? Well, I still have to have dinner.
True, true.
OK, yeah.
Great, yeah.
I'll, ah, let me just go tell my dad.
Okay.
Actually, you know what Can I take a rain check? You want to spend more time with your father? Looks like India's starting to rub off on you a little.
I'll, ah, see you tomorrow, Detective.
I told you, I'm not really a detective.
You are in my book.
She has a book.
I'm in the book! Dad? Dattu? Dattu? Dad? Anybody? Somebody? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[MALIKA.]
Yes.
[MOANING.]
Dad? Hey, Doug! You're home early today.
This is Malika.
She's working on my chi.
Malika, this is my son, Doug D'Mello.
Say hi.
Hello! Nice to meet you, Doug! Stanley's told me so much about you.
[MOANING.]
So gross! Is this what you were looking for? You have done well, Deputy Commissioner.
I will make a generous gift in honor of your grandson.
[PHONE RINGING.]
You have news? I am looking at a list of all of Obaku's stash houses in upstate New York.
Obaku? He'll never know who stole it.
Yeah, he will once we start selling it on the streets of Toronto.
I need to know that you can get it across the border.
Aarav's already let me down.
You cannot.
I won't.
[DOUG.]
One, please.
Vada pav, sir? I make special one for you.
Okay.
Great.
Allow me.
[IN HINDI.]
You're that Canadian detective.
Have we met? Gopal Chandekar.
It's time for you to go home now, Toronto.
Your vada pav's there.
It is getting cold.
Eat.
Just keep it.
Keep it.
Previously, on The Indian Detective.
You've been suspended for a month.
A month? - We still on for tonight? - Yeah.
- No friggin' way.
- Yeah.
- Is everything okay? - Not okay.
You must come now.
I thought you had a heart attack! It felt like a heart attack.
It was gas.
- Very bad gas.
- [DOUG.]
Have we met? - Priya Sehgal.
Will you help me? - Yes.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah! [PRIYA.]
We're here about the chai-wallah Vimal.
He confessed to a murder he didn't commit.
Now why would he do that? [DOUG.]
Maybe he's covering for somebody.
[GOPAL.]
I can arrange for the charges to be dropped.
For a price.
[PHONE VIBRATING.]
You're up late, bro.
You sound awfully calm for someone who just lost $50 million.
I didn't lose it.
The DEA seized it.
After you failed to get it across the border.
Yeah, what choice did I have? Toronto PD got tipped off.
How was I supposed to know the DEA would find it last night? I need results, Amal.
Not excuses.
I have obtained the deed to the Annapuri land.
That's miraculous.
I need you to secure that $50 million.
Bro, we have no product left to sell.
Certainly not 50 million dollars' worth.
I will get the product.
You just need to get it across the border.
No more excuses, [IN HINDI.]
Understand? All right.
[Doug.]
Gopal and Amal Chandekar: the Terror Twins.
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Papadum; born seven minutes apart and now they live an ocean apart.
Do you know that the word "thug" actually comes from the Hindi word thag, which means "thug," so, as they say in India, Thag Life.
Nice job, there, Constable Fourth Class.
Idiot.
Wait here, Cat.
He's in there? Hold this for me for insurance.
What do you mean you're "quitting"? I've done some shitty stuff for you, and I'm not doing it anymore.
You see, I tell you when you're done.
- Now give it over.
- No.
Said give it over! Not until you promise to let me go.
I don't promise anything.
They you can't have it.
I said give it over, you bitch! [GUNSHOT.]
- No, no, no! - [GASPING.]
Miss! Miss! [THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
[DATTU.]
Ki-coo-rooker-cooooooo.
The rooster says, "Good morning, Bapa.
" Every morning, "Coo-ca-coo-roo, coo-ca-coo-roo.
" Mister Stanley is not a morning person.
Mornings should start at noon.
You can't eat breakfast at noon.
Why can't I eat breakfast at noon? Who's decided that? Did you two get married and I didn't get invited? Lovely fresh chai for you, Bapa.
No coffee? Never.
I miss coffee in this house.
Oh, hey.
Do you guys recognize this? Do you know what this is? A trisula.
Do you mean a trident? A trisula is a sacred weapon of the god Shiva.
Shiva? The one with all the arms? No.
Shiva is the God of destruction.
God of dance.
God of that, you know, that Natraj? He gets better in the afternoon.
I'll, ah, I'll see you guys later.
Bapa, what about breakfast? Oh, I'm okay.
You ladies enjoy it.
Tsk.
Because of you, he called you a lady and me also a lady and can you stop doing this "Coo-ca coo-roo, coo-ca coo-roo"? Ladies don't do that.
They do other things.
Hey, I just want to ask you something What? Really? I think you're cute, too, but, uh Ah I I gotta be straight with ya, India's a little bit much for me and I don't want to break your heart Thank you.
- For being straight.
- Hi.
Dr.
Sehgal.
- I am Doug D'Mello.
- Stanley's son.
- The detective from Toronto.
- Correct.
In Canada.
Uh, I was wondering if I could, ah, see your daughter? So you can break her heart? Oh, no, no, no.
That was, ah I was I was having a conversation with myself about my pet ferret 'cause I'm a goofy white kid from Toronto.
[NERVOUSLY.]
You know yeah.
Hi, Doug.
Hi, Priya.
Come in.
Sure.
Thank you.
Very handsome man.
- [SIGHS.]
- [DOUG.]
He liked me.
I'm pretty sure he liked me, I mean, I'm not a good first impression guy.
I'm more of a third and fourth impression kind of guy.
I don't know.
I kind of grow on you, you know? Like like a nail fungus.
You know, you don't know until a couple weeks later.
I think he liked me.
Want some coffee? Oh, I would, ah No, I'm good.
Thanks.
[PRIYA.]
What do you need? Um, I need to know if you know what that is.
Where'd you find this? Last night when we got out of the rickshaw there was a dude standing by the tree - watching us and he dropped it.
- What'd he look like? About five-seven, light skin, kinda pretty.
He had a gold tooth.
Dad, Doug's going to walk me out.
Your mother said to be home by 7 o'clock.
You mustn't keep Vihaan waiting.
I'll be here.
Love you.
Nice to meet you, Dr.
Sehgal.
Take care of your ferret.
Right! Why are you asking me about this? Because I saw the same symbol back in Canada.
Where? Back of a truck meant to be smuggling heroin into Toronto.
What does it mean? The trisula is a sacred weapon.
Of the God Shiva, the guy with all the arms, right? But also, it's the insignia of Gopal Chandekar, one of the most vicious crime lords in the whole of Mumbai.
- That truck could have been his! - It could be.
He has a twin brother in Toronto.
I was right.
I knew it! Damn it.
But, Doug, Gopal Chandekar is a very dangerous man.
And his brother Amal is a vicious killer.
Vicious is fine.
I can deal with vicious.
- You mean that? - Hell, yeah, I mean that! This guy tries to smuggle tons of heroin into Toronto and he got me demoted.
- I mean the hell out of that! - Let's go.
- Where are we going? - Just get in.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[PRIYA.]
This is another case of mine.
Cathy Jordan, age 22, University of Toronto graduate.
Her parents asked me to help locate her.
She flew to Mumbai six weeks ago and went missing.
Until last night, when she called the police station to report that her friend was killed at a paan shop.
Alison Howell, 24.
Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
Why are you showing me this? Because Cathy said that the man who shot at her was in his mid-20s, small build and with a gold tooth.
Don't worry, Mr.
Marlowe.
No one would dare touch you in my company.
Let's make it quick.
My flight's due to leave in an hour.
I left this place nearly 20 years ago, still can't seem to scrub off the humiliation.
Being poor is nothing to be ashamed of, Chandakar.
[KIDS IN HINDI.]
[GOPAL IN HINDI.]
to say.
You're rich.
Wasn't always.
Yeah, but you were never this poor.
You didn't have to do what I did to get ahead.
You have no idea what I had to do.
Did you get my money? Not yet.
But I have persuaded the billionaire to give me this land.
[SCOFFS.]
I don't want to know how.
That skyscraper will destroy this place once and for all and give me the one thing you have that I don't legitimacy.
Not without my $50 million, it won't.
We've done your dirty work in Toronto.
You don't want to disappoint us.
You think I'm afraid? [LAUGHS.]
You got it backwards, my brown friend.
I'll get your money, Mr.
Marlowe.
Don't bother me again until you do.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
Mr.
and Mrs.
Malkani? - Where are you going? - Home.
Are you forgetting something? Your wife's been charged with murder.
Not anymore.
[CAR ENGINE STARTS.]
[DOUG.]
Whipped it good! Well, well.
Another pest.
Good morning, Inspector Devo.
Why aren't you back home, Toronto? 'Cause it turns out you're not just incompetent, you're corrupt, as well.
You want to say that again? Which part? Incompetent or corrupt? Doug, it's okay.
We saw Mr.
Malkani leaving with his wife, Inspector.
And she had the swami's blood all over her hands.
I don't know anything about that.
Interesting.
You're the one who arrested her, thanks to me! Excuse me! Mrs.
Malkani was released by my order.
Chief Detective Inspector Rubinder "Ruby" Singh.
At this point, I didn't know he was working for Chandekar.
I did, however, really dig that his turban matched his uniform.
Have to give him props for that.
- But she confessed.
- Not before a magistrate.
And you have no legal authority in India, Mr.
D'Mello.
- So, if there's nothing else? - There is something else.
That missing Canadian girl, Cathy Jordan, reported a murder last night.
What of it? We have reason to believe that the murder was committed by a member of Gopal Chandekar's gang.
Gopal Chandekar? What the hell do you know about Gopal Chandekar? We're not free to say.
We want assurance that if Cathy Jordan comes forward, she won't be harmed.
Are you implying something about the integrity of this department, Miss Seghal? I think you know exactly what I'm saying, Deputy Commissioner.
The longer Miss Jordan stays out on the street, the greater the danger.
Find your client and you tell her that.
Well? Is it in here? No, Uncle.
I don't have it.
Where is it then? I don't know.
And now the girl is dead! We fought.
I-I didn't mean to It's vital, Aarav.
You must not fail me.
Mm? I don't know where it is.
But I know who might.
Alison had a friend.
A girl from Canada.
Then find her! [PHONE VIBRATING.]
- [ROBYN.]
Hello? - Bob! You alone? You mean, am I with Rocco? Of course not.
Good! Now, I don't have to throw up in my mouth.
Hey, ah, I need you to do something for me.
- Well, can it wait? - Not really.
Doug.
What? That graffiti? It was a trisula.
It's a symbol for an Indian gang.
Are you sure? Yeah.
I think somebody figured out that we were going to bust that truck and switched the heroin out.
"Somebody.
" But you don't know who.
No.
I need you to get in touch with Jerry Wax for me.
His number's in an address book in my top drawer.
I can't go into work.
I'm suspended, remember? I know.
That's why I told you to go now.
It's the middle of the night.
Nobody'll be there.
[CHUCKLES.]
Doug! - This is crazy.
- I know it's crazy.
That's why I'm asking you to do it.
Who is my crazy partner in crime? You are.
Why do I let you talk me into these things? Because, Bob, deep down inside, you want me.
You want me deep, deep, deep in your thoughts.
Oh Now what? Now we gotta figure out why Gopal's man shot that girl.
- And we gotta find Cathy Jordan.
- How? - You hungry? - Yes.
Well, come on hungry, hungry hippo.
Let's go.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Ask him if he saw anything.
[IN HINDI.]
You want one? - Uh, one one? - Paan.
Oh! You having? - No.
- Oh, then I'm good, you know? He's got his fingers all up in it, you know? - Oh, yeah.
- You should try it, at least.
But, uh, the fingers in it and stuff, that's what I'm not such a big fan of.
Oh, good, more fingers.
- And whatever that stuff is.
- That's good.
Yeah? You never just sit down, watch a movie and grab a tub of that and just eat it? - Taste.
- Okay.
Yeah.
That'd be great.
Thanks, buddy.
Yeah.
Thanks.
[IN HINDI.]
Listen, I appreciate the work you put into it, and the fingers.
I'm not going to eat this 'cause, uh, it's bleeding on me, for one, I think.
Listen, uh, what's that red stuff right there? Take care.
Bye bye.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
People in red-light districts? They generally don't like talking to cops.
You know what I mean! I mean, I'm not saying that you go to red light districts.
Or pick up hookers.
Do you? Just kidding.
But this is kind of a universal truth, you know? The longer I'm in India, the more detective-y I'm becoming.
Good morning.
My God! He speaks English.
Finally.
Please, Mister and Missus, would you like a room? Oh, no.
We are not Mister, or Missus.
Ah twenty minutes, 30 minutes? One hour? Come on! Let's not get crazy.
I'm not an animal.
Three minutes is fine.
Um, sir, we're looking for this girl.
Have you seen her? Can we speak to her? Very sorry, but she went away.
Did she say where? No, Missus.
Can we look at your registry? I don't see any Cathy Jordan on this.
But I see an Alison Howell.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CHANTING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
Your presence honors my family, Ji.
You're broad-minded? A Sikh letting his daughter marry a Hindu.
Why must you Hindus have so many gods? You've come a long way from the slums, my friend.
We both have.
Along different paths.
I hate to trouble you on such a joyous occasion, but this is urgent.
The charges against Mrs.
Malkani were dropped, as you asked.
I speak of another matter.
An American girl, killed at a paan shop outside Kamathipura.
The Canadian detective-wallah is looking for a friend of hers, Cathy Jordan.
This detective-wallah is useful.
You will help him find her.
But Very good, Ji.
No, not him.
You heard me, Devo.
This Canadian wallah isn't even a real detective! Those are your orders, Inspector.
I, ah I told her we'll wait for him, no matter how long it takes.
Why do you do this? - Do what? - Work for the poor.
I mean, I think it's great, what you do.
Just probably make a lot more money doing something else.
[SIGHS.]
This is Pari.
Cute kid.
She was shot dead seven years ago outside the Annapuri slums by men working for Gopal Chandekar.
Why would they kill an innocent child? Her father was going to testify that Gopal was extorting money from all the people in the slums.
I had to make a choice: make money for those who already have it, or provide a defense for the defenseless.
[DOUG.]
She was smart, principled, champion of the poor.
She was like a hot Mother Theresa.
Only not Albanian and not a nun.
No, no, no! Inspector? The Canadian idiot is back.
Well? Look, you tell that fat tub of D we'll wait here all day if we have to.
Inspector Devo will see you now.
You're welcome.
Cathy Jordan checked into a hotel under her friend's name.
So? So run a search for Alison Howell.
If she used her name at the hotel, she might have used it in other places.
I'll run the name for you.
Now get the hell out of here.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Robyn! Looking for this? McKinnon doesn't believe me, but I think you guys are onto something.
We were? Call D'Mello's source.
Tell him you need to meet.
Okay.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
Oh.
Aren't you coming up? No.
I've got to go back to the office.
Look, I know you had a tough day, so why don't I buy you dinner? Dinner? Yeah.
Something that hasn't been thoroughly molested by somebody already? I can't.
I have to be home before seven, remember? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Right.
Who's this "Vihaan", anyway? - My fiancé.
- Your fiancé? - But you're not wearing a ring.
- My parents arranged it.
- People still do that? - Doug, you're not from here.
You won't understand.
I'll let you know when Inspector Devo contacts me.
Okay.
Cool.
[IN HINDI.]
People still do that? [DOOR CLOSES.]
Hey, Dad.
What kind of name is Wolf? That's not a real name.
I think I should write a letter to them.
A letter? No, I think I should tweet to them.
You're on Twitter? Yeah! StanleyTheManly10.
Of course, you're StanleyTheManly10.
I'm shocked that there was nine StanleyTheManly's before you.
Ten is my size.
What is the matter with you? Something is the matter with you.
Ah! Priya dumped you.
- We were never dating.
- Serves you right.
Whose side are you on? I have to nearly die for you to come and visit me.
You had a fart attack, Drama King.
And you come here and spend all your time chasing a skirt.
I'm not the one who moved 7,000 miles away.
I moved home.
My whole life you were someplace else.
Remember that song, "Cat's in the Cradle"? It's my karaoke song.
I was a pilot, making a living, trying to support you and your mother.
And when Mom was dying where were you then? [DOOR SLAMS.]
It's true, isn't it? You know, Bapa, Mr.
Stanley loved your mother very much.
Yeah? Came to visit her, like, twice when she was in the hospital.
Your father is afraid.
You see that, don't you? Afraid of what? [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING.]
I guess this is it.
Constable Gerner? Guess again, Jerry.
You should've kept your mouth shut.
Wait! No, no wait, wait, wait, wait! [GUNSHOT.]
- You stay there, babe.
- Stay here, my ass! Oh, my God! I'm okay.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
No.
That's not the guy you want.
He's too clean looking! You don't want that clean, thin, good hair.
What you want is a chubby guy with a with a "fivehead" because it's bigger than a forehead.
That's what you want.
It's what you need.
Not James "Bund" over there.
He sucks.
[PHONE RINGING.]
[SIGHS.]
Bob.
Did you talk to Jerry? Yeah.
- I arranged to meet him.
- And what'd he say? Oh, hold on.
Roc wants to talk with you.
Roc? Dougster? It's not Dougster.
It's just Doug, not no "ster.
" Listen, you and Rob were on to something with that whole truck-at-the-border thing, and you know what? I already told McKinnon.
Thanks, Roc-ster.
It's like "rock star.
" You get it? Yeah, I get it.
Anyway, Rob seems to think that you said that the graffiti connects to some Indian gangsters.
Is that right? Yeah.
Gopal and Amal Chandekar.
I was hoping Jerry knew something about it.
I think he did, too, Dougster.
I think he did, too.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- I can't believe you got him - "Kikeroo-coo-coo", - to go.
- Says the rooster.
Good morning, Bapa! Come and have some chai.
Good morning, my son Douglas.
It would have been a good morning, but what is that doing here? You never told me you were working with a man of letters! Oh, hardly that.
Who, Devo? The one-hit wonder here? Nonsense.
Abishek is an extraordinarily well-read person.
Who's "Abishek".
You? That sucks.
Premchand, Narayan, Chatterjee, he' s a walking, talking encyclopedia on Indian literature.
I read in my spare time.
But you, Mr.
D'Mello, you truly are a man of the world.
I've traveled a bit, that's all.
I've read stories, but you? You've lived them, sir.
And those are the stories that won't make you blush.
[LAUGHING.]
Did you spike their tea? You must know them all by heart.
All the adventures your father has been on in South America, Africa, the Antarctic.
I know who he is.
He's my father.
I know what he's done.
What do you want? - Bapa! - You must forgive him, Abishek.
His mother raised him with better manners than that.
But it was a pleasure meeting you.
- Yes.
- Not at all.
- We should get going.
- Who's we? - You and me, Toronto.
- Yeah? Where are we going? To see Cathy Jordan.
[DOUG.]
How'd you find her? As you suggested.
She's been traveling under the name Alison Howell.
- [BRAKES SCREECHING.]
- Whoa! Play Gran Turismo? I prefer Super Mario Brothers.
[DOUG.]
So this is an ashram? [DEVO.]
An ashram shala.
What's the difference? It's not just spiritual instruction of adults.
It's a school for children.
Oh.
Bet you their football team sucks.
[IN HINDI.]
were starving in India.
[COW MOOING.]
Well, A is for? [CATHY.]
Apple.
And? Alligator.
And? Astronaut B is for? [CATHY.]
Bear.
And? Banana.
And? - [KIDS.]
Boats.
- Boats! Miss Jordan, Inspector Abishek Devo with the Mumbai Police.
Doug D'Mello.
With a "d.
" - How did you find me? - Alison's name.
You used it here and at the hotel.
Have you caught the man that shot her? You said he had a slight build, was five-foot-seven, 140 pounds and a gold tooth? Yeah.
I met him once or twice.
I don't know his name.
But she dated him a few times, I think.
We think he's with Gopal Chandekar.
Who? Gopal Chandekar.
A very dangerous criminal.
I haven't heard that name.
She was mixed up in some pretty bad stuff and she wanted out.
What kind of bad stuff? She'd go hiking in the Kullu Valley and sometimes she'd carry back drugs.
And last time, I think she stole something.
What did she steal? I really don't know.
Alison came here to find herself, just like me.
Now to end up like this Cathy, let me ask you something: why did you use Alison's name? If my parents knew where I was, they'd make me go home.
Ms.
Jordan, do not leave the ashram.
Not until we get to the bottom of this.
- Well? - Cathy Jordan's safe.
- We found her finding herself.
- Where? At an ashram shala in Velwad.
She was teaching some children there.
Her parents will be so relieved.
Good afternoon.
Thank you to your father and Dattu for the tea.
[BAD HINDI ACCENT.]
No problem.
Why does he always talk like that? [HINDI MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[SIGHS.]
[IN HINDI.]
We found the Canadian girl.
No thanks to you.
She's in Valwad.
I won't let you down.
You've already let me down.
[IN HINDI.]
police work, Detective.
I told you to stop calling me that.
But you are a police officer.
Well, constable, fourth class.
I just got demoted.
You look like you need an ashram yourself.
Oh, really? What, to "find myself"? Ashrams are places for spiritual enlightenment and healing.
[CHUCKLES.]
Really? I don't see much enlightenment or healing around here.
What do you see when you look at Mumbai? Crime? Dirt? No, actually, I don't see that.
I can't really get past some of the smells that I'm getting.
But you're not seeing what is right in front of your eyes.
Well, that's because my eyes are watering because of some of the scents that I'm picking up with my giant beak.
When people don't have money, they learn to place value on things like family and being true to their gods.
Indian people place these things in the center of their lives.
Do you? Oh, yeah! Absolutely.
I right here, dead center.
Doug.
Do you know how long your father's lived in our building? [SIGHS.]
About five years.
And this is the first time you've come to see him.
Do you have time to go to the ashram? What for? Cathy's parents are worried sick.
I need her to let me tell them where she is.
Sure.
Let's go.
[CLANKING.]
- Where is it? - What? [EXCLAIMS.]
I said, "Where is it"? I don't know what you're looking for.
I swear.
Her phone.
Huh? She must have given you her phone.
Yes.
Okay.
I'll get it.
There.
Please go.
No.
- You're coming with me.
- No.
Please! [GRUNTS.]
[GUNSHOT.]
I've taken her statement.
She's free to go.
Do you know what he wanted with that phone? Alison said it was her insurance.
I don't know why.
I can arrange for a place for you to stay.
It's all right.
I've decided to go home.
What happened to finding yourself? I thought I was running away from my parents.
But I guess, really, I was running away from myself.
It's not safe for you to go back to that ashram, Cathy.
We'll find someplace safe for you, somewhere where nobody will find you.
Not even the police.
If you think I sent Gopal's men then you are a bigger idiot than I thought you were.
Now get out of here! All of you.
You're annoying me.
Here's the evidence from the Jordan case.
[MUSIC ON TV PLAYING.]
Is this for the Jordan case? The evidence must be kept secure.
Lock it in the safe.
Now, Constable Cheema.
So, I don't have any plans tonight.
Do you want to get something to eat? Aren't you engaged? Well, I still have to have dinner.
True, true.
OK, yeah.
Great, yeah.
I'll, ah, let me just go tell my dad.
Okay.
Actually, you know what Can I take a rain check? You want to spend more time with your father? Looks like India's starting to rub off on you a little.
I'll, ah, see you tomorrow, Detective.
I told you, I'm not really a detective.
You are in my book.
She has a book.
I'm in the book! Dad? Dattu? Dattu? Dad? Anybody? Somebody? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[MALIKA.]
Yes.
[MOANING.]
Dad? Hey, Doug! You're home early today.
This is Malika.
She's working on my chi.
Malika, this is my son, Doug D'Mello.
Say hi.
Hello! Nice to meet you, Doug! Stanley's told me so much about you.
[MOANING.]
So gross! Is this what you were looking for? You have done well, Deputy Commissioner.
I will make a generous gift in honor of your grandson.
[PHONE RINGING.]
You have news? I am looking at a list of all of Obaku's stash houses in upstate New York.
Obaku? He'll never know who stole it.
Yeah, he will once we start selling it on the streets of Toronto.
I need to know that you can get it across the border.
Aarav's already let me down.
You cannot.
I won't.
[DOUG.]
One, please.
Vada pav, sir? I make special one for you.
Okay.
Great.
Allow me.
[IN HINDI.]
You're that Canadian detective.
Have we met? Gopal Chandekar.
It's time for you to go home now, Toronto.
Your vada pav's there.
It is getting cold.
Eat.
Just keep it.
Keep it.