The King of the Machos (2024) s01e02 Episode Script

1
[Inés] Remember these biceps?
They've all been winners
of "The King of the Machos" title,
the huge event that's turning
our lovely town upside down
and bringing visitors
from around the world
to find the most macho young man
in our community.
The King of the Machos starts tomorrow,
and these super machos have
a message for you.
Don't miss it! [screaming]
[screams] Ah!
THE KING OF THE MACHOS
[Miriam] Saving the best for last. Ah!
The last shall be first.
Congratulations, boy.
Mmm, mmm.
So strong!
[chuckles] Look, he's already got
calluses on his hand.
Mr. Víctor, I'm eating.
Ah.
- [friend] Dad.
- Damn right, man.
It's a chick.
[chuckles] No fucking way, Carlota.
Girls can't join The King of the Machos.
[scoffs] You'd better wait
to be the Queen of Spring.
Hi. [chuckles]
Sorry, what is this? [chuckles]
My birth certificate.
[Joel] Uh
I don't understand.
The contest rules say that young people
who are 18 years old can sign up.
It doesn't say
what their gender has to be.
[laughing]
- [laughs]
- [laughing] Oh, dear little thing.
Ah, but Oh, sweetie, the rules are
talking about about the menfolk,
and that's how it's been
since forever and ever.
In that case, Mr. Víctor, there won't be
a problem, because I am a man.
And if that wasn't enough,
the contest rules are quite clear.
If you want to check, I can wait.
[Miriam] Uh, well well,
we'll check, okay?
- Right?
- What's going on?
Uh, we just don't know what to do,
because there's no precedent
for anything like this in the entire
history of the contest. [chuckles]
No, well, here in the words
that Mr. Anastasio wrote,
there isn't anything at all that prevents
her from entering the contest. [chuckles]
[León] Come on, come on, enough.
Let her participate.
It will be fun having a mascot
in the contest.
- Mmm.
- Are you sure?
Yeah, Dad.
Good, but you should be clear.
It's at your own risk.
Don't come crying later like
like what you are, a little girl.
Thanks for making
that clear, Mr. Castillo.
- Very apt.
- [Víctor] Do we agree?
Well, then, you're in. [laughs]
Dear girl, I mean I mean, "dear boy."
- Congratulations, young
- Man.
- Man!
- Man! Right. [chuckles]
Thanks.
So? Aren't you going to thank me?
Oh, yes. Thanks, León.
What would this town do without you?
Uh.
Ladies first, Miss.
Carlota.
Lady Carlota.
The queen of the machos.
[laughs] Yeah, yeah.
[Antonia chewing] Mmm. Mmm.
Mrs. Zoila, please, you have to tell
everyone what's your secret.
Maybe it's the salsa, the cheese.
Mrs. Zoila,
these dishes aren't serving themselves.
Come on, back to work!
[chuckling] One day you'll be sorry
you made these ridiculous videos.
We'll see if you say the same when you see
me living off of my royalties.
[Charly] Toña!
- What's with you?
- [chuckles]
- Why are you so happy?
- [door closes]
- I signed up for The King of the Machos.
- Yeah, right.
I don't believe you.
Oh, no?
What, Charly?
Are you crazy?
No. I have to win this contest, Toña.
And with the prize money,
you and I are going to study in the city.
[screaming, laughing]
THE SCORPION
- Seriously?
- [chuckles] Yes.
- Charly, you're the bomb.
- [chuckles]
And you know what? You're going
to win that contest. You'll win it.
We need a plan for diet, exercise,
because you're gonna get ripped.
And the most important, you're going
to start social media accounts.
Let's see your paper. Show it off.
Let them see.
Registration in The King of the Machos.
- [chuckles]
- Wow.
Shorty. Shorty, you're not going
to believe this.
At the market, Mrs. Chave told me
that Carlota signed up
for The King of the Machos.
Oh, honey, just ignore them.
They'll say anything.
No, she swore to me
that it was true. [sighs]
And the worst part is,
it seems they accepted her. [panting]
She'll be the death of me.
No, well, this time he crossed the line.
The way they are in this town,
they'll never forgive him.
Daughter! Son!
- She's a girl.
- Shh.
Is it true that that you signed up for
that contest for The King of the Machos?
- Yes, Dad.
- [Alonso] Are you crazy?
In that contest,
they'll tear you to shreds.
I thought that you would support me
at least.
No, of course I support you.
But I support you in the things
that make you happy.
Registering in The King of the Machos
contest is like you're painting
a target on your back for the whole town
to attack you, Son.
I don't care.
Tomorrow, I'm going to show the entire
town that I can be more manly than anyone.
- Come on, 97. Good. Lower, lower.
- [León groaning]
Ninety-eight.
Come on, come on.
Ninety-nine. Good, León, good. 100.
Good, dude. Good, good, good, good, good.
No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
It's not good for you to overdo it, dude.
You'll hurt yourself. Relax.
[panting] Fuck that.
This year, The King of the Machos
will be me, damn it.
[chuckles] Ooh, well, it's gonna be hard,
since you let
that Carlota sign up. [chuckles]
I don't care if she's a chick. I'll fuck
her up along with all the others.
Ah, yeah, I'd like to see that, dude.
- [chuckles]
- Watch me, asshole.
Where were you, Abi?
Leoncito. [chuckles]
No way, you smell like booze again.
Next time, I won't cover for you
with our parents, eh?
Relax, Leoncito.
And stop being such a girl.
[friend] Mmm. [chuckles]
[kisses]
Bye.
- Be careful, Abi.
- [Abi] One.
- [chuckling]
- What are you laughing at, stupid?
[stammers] No. No, nothing, dude.
["Majestad" by Velvetine
playing through headphones]
[groaning]
Forty-nine, fifty, thirty-three,
one hundred and one, two, three!
- Grandpa, this is serious, count properly.
- This is serious, dude.
[swallowing]
So [in English] three night.
- No, no, no. Only two nights, please.
- [door opens]
Room ready.
[chuckles] Welcome.
[Estelita] Please.
[Alonso] Welcome.
[in Spanish] Mom, Dad,
I'm going to The King of the Machos.
[Estelita, in English] It, eh,
everything okay?
[in Spanish] Son, you don't have to prove
anything to anyone.
Tell Mom thanks for her support, eh?
[Alonso exhales sharply]
[announcer] Giddyup, giddyup.
Attention, ladies and gentlemen.
Crawl out of your holes.
CLOSED
Attention please,
because today the fun starts.
Gentlemen, ladies, come on,
come on over to the inauguration,
because it's time
for The King of the Machos.
CLOSED
Yeehaw!
- [phone beeps]
- Hi, my dears.
We're broadcasting here from the big
inauguration of The King of the Machos,
and I want you to meet Charly.
A macho who's not too tough,
but he is very male, because just look
- at how he carries himself.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
Well, you can all follow his story
through my social media channels and his.
- Bye.
- Kisses.
[phone beeps]
Now can we go to the changerooms
or will you keep doing your thing?
Changerooms? Why,
what am I going to do there?
Like, am I going to enjoy the eye candy?
WELCOME TO THE BIG EVEN
THE KING OF THE MACHOS
[chuckles] You're my coach. Remember?
Right? [chuckles]
Obviously. Yes.
[gasps] Because as a trans man
with a female coach
in a changeroom full of machos, I think
we'll be disqualified right off the bat.
Let them disqualify us,
but not for arriving late. Let's go. Now.
We're going to win! Look! Oh.
Let's take a photo with him now.
- One photo.
- No, no. Let's go already.
Let's go. Let's go.
- Don't take off your mascot costume!
- [Charly] Please.
[applause]
We're here for the inauguration
of the most anticipated event of the year.
Today, The King of the Machos begins.
And we're here with the crème de la crème
of Tunas society.
You're going to show all those fags
who the Castillos really are.
Yes, sir.
[scoffs] Damn, look at that!
Two chicks in a men's changeroom.
Don't worry, Dad,
they won't make it past today. Relax.
You look so pretty, Toña.
She's pretty, she's looking really good.
Yes or no, Toña?
What?
Nothing.
[crowd cheering]
[dignitary] It's very exciting being able
to be here together,
to discover
who is the most macho this year.
[dignitary 2] Bravo!
These 20 machos will have the opportunity
to prove they have the three "G's"
of a great Mexican macho.
Gorgeous, gallant,
and a gigantic drive to succeed!
This year, in addition to
the traditional check for 50,000 pesos
Drumroll, please.
[drumroll plays]
We have
a tractor!
BIG EVEN
THE KING OF THE MACHOS
Secondhand, but works like new!
Let's give a big welcome
to our 20 macho participants.
[Miriam] A big round of applause!
THE KING OF THE MACHOS
[crowd boos]
WINNER - LAST ELIMINATED
[booing continues]
[contestants] Wow, ow, ow!
[Miriam chuckles]
Boys, all I'm asking is that you please,
at all times,
express the values of a good macho.
And without further ado,
people of San Pedro de
- José. José.
- [Miriam] San José. San José.
[chuckling] Just kidding, just kidding.
People of San José de las Tunas,
I declare open The King of the Machos
contest! May the most macho win!
We'll begin with the first test,
where we'll measure the size
the size of
of their guns.
Show us your big guns, boys!
THE BIG GUNS TES
Oh.
[crowd boos]
Go home!
[Miriam] Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
LIVE NEWS
THE BIG GUNS TEST BEGINS
What do you think of Charly's guns,
Mrs. Zoila?
That's not even a toy gun.
[chuckles]
- That's not a gun, it's a bomb.
- [Miriam chuckles]
What about León? Can he win it?
[Miriam] In a moment,
we'll have the results.
[Víctor] Strenuous. Bah.
[judges murmuring]
- Are you sure?
- Ah.
- Ah.
- No. No, no.
It's no surprise.
Ouch.
[Miriam] We have the result.
[Víctor] My dear macho hopefuls,
we've now got
our first disqualified contestant.
[crowd gasps]
What's happening, kid? How are you doing?
I just have to finish drying this,
and that's all.
[Víctor] And the disqualified one is, mmm
HOPEFULS WAIT FOR NAME
OF FIRST DISQUALIFIED CONTESTAN
Mmm. Is
[Ponciano] That party didn't last long
for Carlota, eh?
That's what she gets for including herself
with real machos.
- Iván!
- Oh! Oh.
- They're disqualifying you. Yep.
- No, wait
Take him away.
[Miriam] Give him a hand to say goodbye.
- What?
- Oh, keep trying.
There are a lot
a lot of flies that got in just now.
Fucking broad.
I'm sure that in the next one,
- they'll kick her out. Listen to me.
- [Víctor] He didn't like that, I think.
- [Miriam] I agree.
- They'll kick her out for sure.
[Víctor] Dear people of Tunas.
Hey, move, man. You're blocking me.
Now, let's move on to the second test.
As you all know, dear people,
this test will be won by the macho
who manages to change a tire in the least
amount of time and using basic tools.
Besides, there will be an additional
inconvenience that he'll have to overcome.
One of our beautiful, lovely,
and gorgeous Tunas girls
will get on the hood of the vehicle to
dance, during the test, a Tejano cumbia.
Careful, boys,
because seeing so much flesh
may cause the car to fall on you.
[crowd laughs]
Well, let's start with the three machos
who are in the lead.
Let's get them started
with a big round of applause.
[applause]
Contestants,
are you ready?
Start the music.
[cumbia music playing]
THE TIRE TES
[Antonia] But you do know how
to change a tire, right?
Mmm, yeah, but not with
someone tap-dancing on the hood.
I've got it. That's it.
It's a matter of rhythm,
which is exactly what León is not doing.
He wants to solve everything
with force because he's so macho.
[Charly] Uh-huh.
You have to solve it
with sensitivity and rhythm.
[Charly] Mmm.
Mmm, look at her.
[groans] Help! Help!
- Help! Help!
- Hurry, damn it!
[Joel] Oh.
So much squealing because
something fell on his foot.
Man, what do we say here to crybabies?
[all] That's not macho.
[chanting] That's not macho!
That's not macho!
[horn blares]
[Víctor] And he finishes
with three minutes 55 seconds.
[friend] Don't stop now! Come on, León!
Come on, León, come on!
[crowd cheers]
[crowd chanting] León! León! León!
I can't live in this town full of cavemen.
Enough.
Baby, baby, baby. Just a little longer,
just a little longer.
But we've got to hold on for now, eh?
No, I just can't handle a dry climate,
I mean it's true.
[both chuckling]
Smile and wave on this side meanwhile.
Yes. Smile.
Other side.
Now, laugh.
[both laugh]
Hey, speaking of elections,
we need to take a selfie
for your followers.
- Take it from that side.
- Yes.
Because there's a shadow on me.
Wait. Let them see the ring.
[shutter clicks]
Oh, I love it.
Andy has the same ring as me!
- That's cool.
- Oh, no, baby. Wow.
- Oh, no. This
- Hey.
Next year, you know who to vote for, right?
JERÓNIMO
FOR GOVERNOR!
[chuckling]
- Babe.
- [horn blares]
Contestants,
are you ready?
Ready, set, go!
[cumbia music playing]
Bravo, Charly, go for it!
[crowd booing]
[Antonia] Charly, Charly, Charly!
Charly, Charly, Charly, Charly, Charly!
Charly, you can do it!
You can do it, Charly, you can do it.
Concentrate.
- [groans]
- [crowd cheering]
[Joel] Ah! Enough, Santiago.
Stop complaining,
you look like a little girl.
Besides, a blessing has befallen
you. [chuckles]
What do we say here to whiners?
- That's not macho! That's not macho!
- [crowd] That's not macho!
That's not macho!
[crowd, Miriam] That's not macho!
That's not macho!
That's not macho!
That's not macho!
That's not macho!
That's not macho!
That's not macho!
- [horn blares]
- [Víctor] And first place for this group,
with three minutes and 0.9 seconds is
- Charly Tejeda! [laughs]
- [crowd booing]
Now we'll see how he does
in the general competition.
You won! Way to go!
[crowd booing] Cheater!
[Antonia] Charly, Charly!
Charly!
In your face!
He won in your face!
Bravo!
Honestly, I can't believe
that a girl beat you changing a tire.
I want you in first place
for the rest of the contest.
Well, we're down one contestant
for the next test. [chuckles]
- Are the rest of you ready?
- Let's go!
[Miriam] For the next test,
the contestants will have to down
five shots of tequila
to then pass an exhausting physical test.
Come on, machos.
- Start your engines!
- [horn blares]
THE WALL OF TEQUILA TES
THE KING OF THE MACHOS - 001
THE KING OF THE MACHOS - 003
- [crowd boos]
- Look, that one already bit the dust.
He landed
like an overripe tomato. [laughs]
[Antonia cheering] Let's go!
That's it, harder! Let's go!
Hurry, hurry, hurry!
GO MARIO!
THE KING OF THE MACHOS - 020
- [crowd] Ah!
- He's turned the tire into a compost bin.
[Miriam] Ew, that's gross! [chuckles]
It's the final of the Tequila Circuit,
dear viewers,
and the young macho hopefuls are running
to make their dreams come true.
In first place, comes León Castillo,
great-grandson of the legendary
Anastasio Castillo.
Hey, what's this?
There's a scrum happening on the field
of The King of the Machos.
There's violence.
They're like spider monkeys!
Like spider monkeys.
There's violence, dear viewers,
the field here at The King
of the Machos has become a boxing ring.
And here comes Charly Tejeda,
here comes Esteban,
here comes Telésforo, here comes Jaime.
Good, good, good, my Charly! My Charly!
[horn blares]
[Inés] Trying to reach their dreams,
they want to arrive at the finish line.
[screams]
Charly Tejeda is going to cross the finish
line, dear viewers, but isn't crossing,
- isn't crossing.
- What are you doing?
- Help me!
- Going back. Jaime, Jimmy is stuck.
He's turning purple.
He's being strangled by the climbing net.
He's helping him
instead of crossing the finish line.
What are you doing, Charly?
[Miriam] Leave him!
Keep going, keep going!
- [Joel] We'll have to disqualify him.
- [Víctor] Yes, of course. Ha.
[crowd booing]
Whenever you're ready, Doc.
Uh, uh, uh!
Good, dude, good! Uh, uh, uh!
Honey, congratulations. [sighs]
Not bad.
Not bad.
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
Hey, but, why did you do that?
I'm sure you're disqualified.
Whatever. How could I not help him?
[Víctor] Charly did not finish the test,
so he should leave this contest.
But he stopped to help a comrade.
- [sighs]
- That's an example of solidarity, eh?
PREVIOUS WINNER - MARIO
LAST ELIMINATED - FERNANDO
Are you sure you don't want
to wait to hear the results?
What for? Come on, let's go home.
[Santiago] Charly!
You did good. [chuckles]
[crowd cheering]
I told you.
That is an example of manliness.
Thanks.
So?
- Who are you?
- Okay, okay, okay. Let's go. Let's go.
[Víctor] Dear people of Tunas,
the honorable jury of this contest,
I mean, us
we have decided
to allow contestant Charly Tejeda
to move on to the next stage.
Due to the heroism displayed
by helping a fallen comrade.
Just one day of competition
and 15 comrades,
macho hopefuls,
will continue in the contest.
- See you tomorrow, people of Tunas.
- Charly.
Charly, you passed.
- Charly passed! Charly, you passed!
- I passed!
You passed! [laughs]
How did you do it?
Come on, let's take a photo.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
- [chuckles]
- [shutter clicks]
I'm not a hero.
Now it seems that you're a hero
who drinks tequila,
takes on challenges, jumps, hops.
- Sick women!
- Go back to your town and make tortillas!
- [groans]
- [attacker laughs] Right on target.
[Charly] Come here, fucking dicks!
[laughs] That's awesome.
We've finished the first day of the
competition for The King of the Machos.
And I think the biggest surprise
of the day
was young Charly Tejeda,
our first trans contestant.
[chuckles] That's my son. That's my son!
[Inés] And he had the decency
to help a fallen contestant,
which won him the right
to keep participating in the contest.
This stirred up hate in most
of the people in the town, while
Now everybody will be talking about us.
This isn't going to end well, Alonso.
I know what I'm talking about.
I just know it, I'm her mother.
Okay, honey, relax.
[Inés] How far will Charly Tejeda get
in this competition?
Son? Son, come.
Your mom and I just saw you on TV.
You You did really great, Son, truly.
I'm so pro
I mean, not "I," we're so proud of you.
She stinks.
[Alonso] Charly. Charly!
I'm telling you,
this isn't going to end well, Alonso.
[door slams]