The Magic School Bus (1994) s01e02 Episode Script
For Lunch
[BEEP BEEP]
SEAT BELTS, EVERYONE!
PLEASE LET THIS BE A NORMAL FIELD TRIP.
WITH THE FRIZZ? NO WAY!
CRUISIN' ON DOWN MAIN STREE
YOU'RE RELAXED AND FEELIN' GOOD ♪
YEAH!
NEXT THING THAT YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SEEIN' ♪
WA-HA-HA-HOO!
AN OCTOPUS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD! ♪
SURFIN' ON A SOUND WAVE
SWINGIN' THROUGH THE STARS
TAKE A LEFT AT YOUR INTESTINE ♪
TAKE YOUR SECOND RIGHT PAST MARS ♪
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
NAVIGATE A NOSTRIL
CLIMB ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS ♪
SPANK A PLANKTON, TOO
TAKE THAT!
ON OUR MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
RAFT A RIVER OF LAVA
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
SUCH A FINE THING TO DO!
WHOA!
SO STRAP YOUR BONES RIGHT TO THE SEAT ♪
COME ON IN AND DON'T BE SHY ♪
JUST TO MAKE YOUR DAY COMPLETE ♪
YOU MIGHT GET BAKED INTO A PIE ♪
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
STEP INSIDE, IT'S A WILDER RIDE! ♪
COME ON
RIDE ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
[BEEP BEEP]
ARNOLD, THAT'S BRILLIANT!
IT IS?
YEAH. MS. FRIZZLE SAID TO BRING IN SOMETHING
TO HELP ANSWER THE QUESTION,
"WHAT HAPPENS TO THE FOOD WE EAT?"
OH, RIGHT. WHAT DID I BRING?
YOUR OWN MOUTH, CHEWING.
IT'S THE FIRST STEP IN--
IN DIGESTION.
YEAH, YEAH, WE KNOW, DOROTHY ANN.
BUT MY BUDDY ARNOLD HERE IS NOT CHEWING FOOD.
HE'S CHEWING GUM.
GUM?
YEP. BEEN CHEWING FOR 2 HOURS AND 24 MINUTES.
ONLY 6 HOURS AND 46 MINUTES TO GO
BEFORE HE BREAKS THE SCHOOL GUM CHEWING RECORD.
BUT, WANDA, WHAT'S CHEWING GUM
GOT TO DO WITH DIGESTION?
NOTHING, BUT THE FIRST ONE TO BREAK
THE GUM CHEWING RECORD WINS
TWO FREE TICKETS TO ACTION MOUNTAIN,
THE WILDEST, SCARIEST, BEST SCREAM-YOUR-LUNGS- OUT-RIDE IN THE WORLD,
THE RIDE OF MY DREAMS.
LET'S GET THE FACTS.
ARNOLD WANTS TO GO ON THE FASTEST, THE SCARIEST,
THE BEST SCREAM-YOUR-LUNGS- OUT-RIDE IN THE WORLD?
DO YOU FEEL ALL RIGHT, ARNOLD?
ACTUALLY, MY TICKET'S UP FOR GRABS.
I'M JUST HELPING WANDA OUT.
I WOULD HAVE DONE THE CHEWING MYSELF,
BUT I GOT A NEW FILLING. SEE?
AHH! AAH!
[GRUNTING]
OH, GOOD MORNING, CLASS.
ONE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM COMING UP!
EE-YAH!
NOW, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
[HICCUP]
WAS THAT IN THE LESSON PLAN?
AS I ALWAYS SAY, "NO GUTS, NO DIGESTION."
WELL, AS I ALWAYS SAY,
"NO CHEWING, NO FREE TICKETS."
COME ON, ARNOLD! CHEW, CHEW, ARNOLD!
UM, WANDA, I THINK I, UH
SWALLOWED IT.
VERY FUNNY, ARNOLD. YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
SAY, "AHH!" AHH
ARNOLD, HOW COULD YOU?
WANDA, I--
WE WERE GOING TO RIDE ACTION MOUNTAIN TOGETHER.
YOU DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE, DID YOU?
NO, NO! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, REALLY!
I'M SORRY, WANDA. I TOLD YOU
BREAKING RECORDS MADE ME NERVOUS.
I TOLD YOU I'VE NEVER WON ANYTHING IN MY LIFE.
NEVER SAY NEVER, ARNOLD.
I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE PICKED SOMEONE ELSE!
AW. HEY, ARNOLD, IT'S O.K.
I MEAN, IT'S ONLY A RIDE.
AND THAT'S THE END OF THAT.
ACTUALLY, WANDA,
IT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING.
OF WHAT?
OUR NEXT FIELD TRIP.
FIELD TRIP!
FIELD TRIP?
MS. FRIZZLE, I'D REALLY LOVE TO GO ON A FIELD TRIP,
BUT--BUT I'VE GOT THIS WEIRD FEELING.
I MEAN, I ALREADY RUINED WANDA'S DAY.
WHAT IF I RUIN EVERYBODY ELSE'S?
WELL, ARNOLD, I DO NEED A VOLUNTEER TO STAY BEHIND.
STAY BEHIND?
COME ON! LET'S GO!
ME! ME! PICK ME!
THANK YOU, ARNOLD.
ALL RIGHT! WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
WHAT'S THE CATCH?
MEET YOUR SUBSTITUTE TEACHER.
LIZ?
OHCOULD BE WORSE.
SEE YOU VERY SOON, ARNOLD.
ONE FIELD TRIP FOR THEM,
ONE BAG OF CHEEZIE WEEZIES FOR ME.
HMM. OUR TIMING SHOULD BE JUST ABOUT RIGHT.
I DON'T GET IT. I THOUGHT WE WERE
SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THE QUESTION
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THE FOOD WE EAT.
YEAH. WHERE ARE WE GOING?
NOT FAR, CLASS. NOT FAR AT ALL.
HERE WE GO!
MM MMM!
WHOOPS!
WHOA! WHOA!
WHERE ARE WE?
CHECK OUT THE PINK PAVEMENT.
THE WALLS ARE DRIPPING.
YOU KNOW WHAT, MS. FRIZZLE? AT MY OLD SCHOOL,
WE'D TURN BACK IN THIS KIND OF WEATHER.
WHAT ARE THOSE HUMONGO WHITE THINGS?
WHOA!
IF YOU ASK ME, THEY'RE HUMONGO BUS-CRUSHERS.
ACTUALLY, RALPHIE, THEY'RE MORE LIKE HUMONGO FOOD-CRUSHERS.
WAIT A MINUTE. IF THAT'S FOOD
Carlos: WE'RE EITHER ON THE WEIRDEST CUTTING BOARD IN THE WORLD
OR IN SOMEBODY'S MOUTH!
EWW!
BINGO.
BUT NOT JUST ANYBODY'S MOUTH.
[BEEPING]
LOOK FAMILIAR?
ARNOLD? ARNOLD!
BOY, IT'S KIND OF EMPTY IN HERE.
I WONDER WHERE THEY WENT.
WELL, WHEREVER THEY ARE,
THEY DON'T HAVE ME TO SLOW THEM DOWN ANYMORE.
HMM.
AHH, NOTHING LIKE CHEEZIE WEEZIES
WITH A GREEN OLIVE CHASER.
SO THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS TO THE FOOD
WHEN IT GETS DIGESTED
IS THE TEETH CUT AND GRIND IT INTO SMALLER PIECES.
AT MY OLD SCHOOL,
WE WERE NEVER ALLOWED TO BE DIGESTED.
NEVER SAY NEVER, PHOEBE.
BUT ACCORDING TO MY RESEARCH,
AFTER CHEWING COMES SWALLOWING!
I CALL IT ACTION ARNOLD--
THE WILDEST, SCARIEST,
BEST SCREAM-YOUR-LUNGS-OUT- RIDE IN THE WORLD!
WAHOO!
AAH! AAH!
CLASS, WELCOME TO THE ESOPHAGUS.
THE ASPARAGUS?
NO, CARLOS, THE ESOPHAGUS,
IT'S WHERE YOUR FOOD GOES AFTER YOU SWALLOW.
AHHH
MS. FRIZZLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
TIME TO LET ARNOLD'S DIGESTIVE SYSTEM DO THE DRIVING.
COOL! IT'S LIKE WE'RE DRIVING THROUGH A TUNNEL,
BUT THE TUNNEL'S DRIVING US.
HEY, ARNOLD. HOW ABOUT A PUSH?
I WONDER IF THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
TO GET SQUEEZED OUT OF A TUBE OF TOOTHPASTE.
YEAH, BUT I GET THE FEELING WE'RE NO
GONNA END UP ON ARNOLD'S TOOTHBRUSH.
RIGHT YOU ARE, TIM.
THE ESOPHAGUS CONNECTS THE MOUTH TO THE--
ANYONE?
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS I CAN STOMACH.
EXCELLENT, RALPHIE.
THE STOMACH IS THE NEXT STEP IN DIGESTION,
AND IT'S A REAL DOOZY!
AAH! AAH!
IN JUST A FEW MOMENTS, WE'LL BE LANDING IN ARNOLD'S STOMACH.
THANK YOU FOR FLYING DIGESTION AIRWAYS.
NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL A BELLY FLOP.
HA HA HA!
OLIVE EATING--
NOW, THAT'S A SCHOOL RECORD I COULD GO FOR.
THANKS.
WANDA WOULD BE SO IMPRESSED.
OH, ARNOLD!
HEY, WHY NOT?
AAH! OOF!
"THE ALL SCHOOL RECORD BOOK"?
"OLIVE EATING-- 978"?
O.K., IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE OLIVES.
OHH. THERE HAVE TO BE OTHER RECORDS WAITING TO BE BROKEN.
YO HO HO AND A STOMACH OF SLOP ♪
CHECK OUT THE PINK CLIFFS OF ARNOLD!
RALPHIE, THAT'S HIS STOMACH WALL.
ROCK, DEAD AHEAD!
I BET THIS IS WHAT THE PILGRIMS FELT LIKE
BEFORE THEY CRASHED INTO PLYMOUTH ROCK.
FORGET THE PILGRIMS! THE WALLS ARE MOVING!
WHOA! WHOA!
HARD APORT, CLASS!
[GASP]
I KNOW ARNOLD LIKES ROCKS,
BUT DO YOU REALLY THINK HE'D SWALLOW ONE?
THAT'S NO ROCK.
THAT'S ARNOLD'S GUM.
PHEW! THAT WAS CLOSE.
IS IT JUST ME, OR DO YOU GET THE FEELING THERE'S MORE OUT THERE
THAN JUST FOOD AND WATER?
WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S EATING THE BUS.
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. JUST A LITTLE STOMACH ACID.
STOMACH ACID? STOMACH ACID?
HERE AT UNITED DIGESTION,
WE BELIEVE IN BREAKING THINGS DOWN.
WE START WITH THE RAW MATERIAL OF THE FOOD,
PUT IT IN THE MOUTH, AND USE THE FINEST TEETH IN THE WORLD
TO TEAR, GRIND, AND CRUSH IT INTO PIECES
SMALL ENOUGH TO SWALLOW.
THEN THE FOOD GETS PUSHED DOWN THE ESOPHAGUS LINE
INTO STOMACH CENTRAL,
WHERE WE ADD ACIDS AND OTHER CHEMICALS
TO BREAK THE FOOD DOWN
AND DISSOLVE IT INTO A LIQUID.
AND THAT'S ONLY HALF OF WHAT WE DO HERE AT UNITED DIGESTION.
MAN, WHEN IT COMES TO DIGESTION,
ARNOLD DOESN'T MESS AROUND.
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING YET.
YOU MEAN, THERE'S MORE?
MM-HMM.
ALL RIGHT, ARNOLD!
IF THIS DOESN'T IMPRESS HER, NOTHING WILL.
HOW MANY MORE TO GO, LIZ?
ONE MORE, AND I BREAK THE SCHOOL RECORD
FOR PENS STUFFED INTO A POCKET PROTECTOR!
[RUMBLING]
AAH!
WHAT'S THAT?
POOR ARNOLD! LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOT A HOLE IN HIS STOMACH.
NOT A HOLE, KEESHA, A VALVE.
THE DOORWAY TO HIS SMALL INTESTINE.
YEAH, WELL, IT JUST SWALLOWED THE GUM.
HEY, WHY HASN'T THE GUM BEEN DIGESTED?
A FEW THINGS ARE TOO TOUGH TO BE BROKEN UP AND DISSOLVED.
LIKE SCHOOL BUSES, RIGHT?
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.
HERE WE GO!
AAH!
WHOA!
WHERE ARE WE?
IT LOOKS LIKE SCUBA WORLD.
WELCOME TO THE SMALL INTESTINE,
THE NEXT STEP IN DIGESTION.
I DON'T GET IT.
THE FOOD'S BEEN DISSOLVED, DIGESTED,
WHATEVER. WHAT ELSE IS LEFT TO DO?
AS I ALWAYS SAY, RALPHIE,
DIGESTED IS NOT DELIVERED.
ANYONE FOR A DIP?
GO SWIMMING IN ARNOLD'S DIGESTIVE JUICE?
NOT ME. NO WAY!
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW SHE'D HAVE DIGESTIVE JUICE SCUBA GEAR?
ISN'T THIS THE COOLEST?
HEY!
THERE'S THE GUM!
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
HEY, LOOK AT THIS.
THE DISSOLVED FOOD
IS DISAPPEARING INTO THESE
RUBBER CACTUS-TYPE THINGS.
THEY'RE CALLED VILLI.
COOL. THEY'RE SOAKING UP THE FOOD LIKE A SPONGE.
BUT WHERE DID IT GO?
HERE AT UNITED DIGESTION,
WHAT WE DIGEST, WE DELIVER.
AS THE VILLI IN THE SMALL INTESTINE
SOAK UP THE NUTRIENTS IN THE FOOD,
THE NUTRIENTS ARE TRANSFERRED INTO THE BLOODSTREAM,
AND THE BLOODSTREAM DELIVERS THE NUTRIENTS
TO ALL PARTS OF THE BODY
BECAUSE HERE AT UNITED DIGESTION,
WE BELIEVE IN TURNING FOOD INTO FUEL.
I GET IT.
THE BLOODSTREAM IS LIKE
A PIZZA DELIVERY SERVICE,
ONLY IT DELIVERS ENERGY.
SPEAKING OF ENERGY, WHERE'S WANDA?
WHOA! AAH!
WANDA!
[SNORING]
[STOMACH GROWLS]
HUH? DID I DO IT?
2 MINUTES AND 4 SECONDS?
HOW CAN I BREAK THE SCHOOL NAPPING RECORD
IF MY STOMACH KEEPS WAKING ME UP?
[GROWLING]
WHERE COULD SHE BE?
I DON'T SEE HER ANYWHERE!
WANDA, WHERE ARE YOU?
WANDA!
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THE ENTIRE SMALL INTESTINE,
AND NO SIGN OF HER.
WHOOOAAA!
THERE SHE IS.
AAH!
SHE WENT INTO THE LARGE INTESTINE.
THE LARGE INTESTINE? YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE?
WHAT'S THAT?
JUST ARNOLD'S LEFTOVERS.
WATCH OUT!
[HORN BEEPING]
AAH!
BOY, WHAT A RIDE!
TALK ABOUT ACTION!
P U! WHAT'S THAT? EWW!
MAN, IF THE SMALL INTESTINE WAS SCUBA WORLD,
THE LARGE INTESTINE IS SMELL WORLD.
AT LEAST IT'S A LOT DRIER IN HERE.
YEAH, BUT WHERE'S WANDA? WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS SHOULD WORK.
WANDA, IF YOU CAN HEAR THIS,
GIVE A SHOUT.
WHOA! WHOA!
LET'S GO!
ALL RIGHT!
THE FURTHER WE GO, THE DRIER IT GETS.
IT LOOKS LIKE THE WALLS
ARE SUCKING UP ALL THE WATER.
THAT'S THE LARGE INTESTINE FOR YOU.
IT REMOVES THE WATER FROM THE LEFTOVERS.
SO WE HAVE TO FIND WANDA BEFORE SHE GETS DRIED INTO A RAISIN.
A RAISIN? COOL.
RALPHIE! RALPHIE!
UH, NOT COOL AT ALL.
TERRIBLE, ACTUALLY. HEH HEH.
YIKES! AAH!
[GASPS]
WANDA! DON'T!
AAH!
AAH!
WHOA!
GOT YOU!
ALL RIGHT, CARLOS!
YOU SAVED HER.
SAVED ME?
I WAS HAVING A BLAST!
ARNOLD'S DIGESTIVE SYSTEM IS THE WILDEST, SCARIEST,
SCREAM-YOUR-LUNGS-OUT- RIDE IN THE WORLD!
AND IT'S NOT OVER YET.
WE'VE DONE THE MOUTH, WE'VE DONE THE ESOPHAGUS, THE STOMACH,
THE SMALL INTESTINE, THE LARGE INTESTINE.
WHAT COULD BE NEXT?
THE EXTRA-LARGE INTESTINE?
NO. WE JUST HAVE TO JOIN THE REST OF THE WASTE PRODUCTS
AND FINISH THE TRIP.
WHAT?! WHAT?!
WAIT A MINUTE. ACCORDING TO MY RESEARCH,
THE WASTE PRODUCTS GO
UH-UH! NO WAY!
AT MY OLD SCHOOL,
WE WERE NEVER ALLOWED TO END UP IN THE TOILET.
ANYONE HAVE A BETTER IDEA?
WE COULD GO BACK TO THE MOUTH AND RIDE IT AGAIN.
WANDA! WANDA!
SHE'S RIGHT. WE COULD GO BACK THE WAY WE CAME.
I'VE BEEN KEEPING TRACK,
AND THE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM
IS JUST ONE LONG TUBE DIVIDED INTO PARTS.
WE STARTED OFF IN THE MOUTH,
GOT SQUEEZED DOWN THE ESOPHAGUS,
LANDED IN THE STOMACH,
GOT PUSHED INTO THE SMALL INTESTINE,
AND WOUND UP HERE IN THE LARGE INTESTINE,
AND SINCE WE DON'T WANT TO GO OUT HERE,
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS GO BACKWARDS.
WE COULD GO BACK UP THE LARGE INTESTINE,
BACK THROUGH THE SMALL INTESTINE,
INTO THE STOMACH, BACK UP THE ESOPHAGUS,
AND BURST TRIUMPHANTLY OUT THE MOUTH.
IT WON'T BE EASY.
YOU'RE RIGHT, TIM.
DIGESTION PUSHES EVERYTHING DOWN.
WE'LL HAVE TO FIGHT OUR WAY BACK.
WE MIGHT NEVER MAKE IT.
NEVER SAY NEVER, MS. FRIZZLE.
HA HA HA!
HOW CAN I BREAK THE RECORD
FOR EATING LUNCH
IF I CAN'T FIND MY LUNCH?
HMM. I WONDER IF THERE'S ANY RULES
ABOUT IT HAVING TO BE MY LUNCH.
A CHOCOLATE MALLOW-BLASTER!
SHE'LL BE COMING AROUND THE MOUNTAIN ♪
WHEN SHE COMES
YEE-HA!
FULL SPEED AHEAD!
THIS IS INSANE.
CONSIDER THE ALTERNATIVE.
YOU KNOW, BIKING IS MY FAVORITE SPORT.
NOW!
SO MUCH FOR THE EASY PART.
THE EASY PART?
YEAH. REMEMBER ALL THE MUSCLE POWER
THAT PUSHED US DOWN THE ESOPHAGUS?
[GROANING]
AND IT'S ALMOST NOON!
IF ARNOLD EATS LUNCH, THERE'S GONNA BE TONS
OF FOOD RAINING DOWN ON US.
IF I EAT RALPHIE'S LUNCH AND BREAK THE LUNCH-EATING RECORD REAL FAST,
WANDA WILL THINK I'M THE BEST THING
SINCE VELCRO SHOE FASTENERS,
BUT THEN RALPHIE WILL BE STEAMED AT ME FOR ETERNITY.
[STOMACH GRUMBLING]
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
WANDA, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
I'VE GOT IT!
BUT IF I DON'T EAT SOMETHING,
I'LL WITHER AWAY TO NOTHING.
I KNOW! I COULD EAT RALPHIE'S LUNCH
AND THINK UP A GOOD EXCUSE ON A FULL STOMACH.
Wanda: ARNOLD!
WHAT? I'VE HEARD MY STOMACH GROWL BEFORE, BUT TALK?
ARNOLD!
ARE YOU ABOUT TO EA
RALPHIE'S MALLOW-BLASTER?
UH, NO. I-I MEAN, YES.
HEY! WAIT A SECOND. WHO IS THIS?
THIS IS YOUR CONSCIENCE, ARNOLD.
YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T EAT RALPHIE'S MALLOW-BLASTER.
BESIDES, YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUNGRY.
NOT HUNGRY? I COULD EAT A--
YOU JUST THINK YOU'RE HUNGRY.
WHAT YOU REALLY ARE IS THIRSTY.
I AM?
TRUST ME. YOU ARE.
NOW, THERE'S A NICE BOTTLE OF SELTZER IN WANDA'S LUNCH BAG.
THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.
UH, O.K., I GUESS.
HEY. HOW COME IT'S O.K. TO DRINK WANDA'S SELTZER
BUT IT'S NOT O.K. TO EAT RALPHIE'S MALLOW-BLASTER?
BECAUSE WANDA'S A FAR KINDER
AND MORE GENEROUS HUMAN BEING THAN RALPHIE
WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING.
THEN HOW COME WHEN SHE HAS A MALLOW-BLASTER,
SHE HOGS IT ALL TO HERSELF?
LOOK, I'M YOUR CONSCIENCE, ALL RIGHT?
JUST DO WHAT I SAY AND DRINK THE SELTZER NOW!
TIME ME.
Kids: WAY TO GO, ARNOLD!
NOW LET'S ROCK THE BUS
TO CREATE A GIANT GAS BUBBLE.
Kids: IT'S WORKING! IT'S WORKING!
NOW WHAT?
[RUMBLING]
[BELCH]
DID I BREAK THE SELTZER-CHUGGING RECORD?
I'LL NEVER BREAK A RECORD. I'LL NEVER WIN ANYTHING.
I'LL NEVER EVEN GET TO EAT LUNCH.
DID SOMEONE SAY "LUNCH"?
AHEM.
CONGRATULATIONS, ARNOLD.
HUH?
YOU JUST BROKE THE RECORD
FOR BEING THE BEST FIELD TRIP EVER.
WH-WHAT?
AND GIVING ME THE RIDE OF MY DREAMS.
YOU MEAN, I WAS THE FIELD TRIP?
YEP.
BUT WHERE EXACTLY DID YOU GO?
[STOMACH GRUMBLES]
YOU WENT INSIDE
HA HA HA!
MS. FRIZZLE, NO MATTER WHAT,
I'LL NEVER MISS ANOTHER FIELD TRIP,
NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER!
WONDERFUL, ARNOLD.
[GROWLS]
UM, STARTING RIGHT AFTER THE NEXT ONE.
HA HA HA!
IS THIS THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
IS THIS THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
Overlapping voices: IS THIS THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
Both: MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
Overlapping voices: MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
Kids: I WANT THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
MAGIC SCHOOL BUS.
JUST A MINUTE, PLEASE. HOLD ON.
BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
[GULP]
MAGIC SCHOOL BUS.
Boy: BOY, FOR A SHOW ON SCIENCE,
THERE SURE ARE A BUSLOAD OF MISTAKES.
YOU THINK SO?
I MEAN, THEY JUST ZIPPED THROUGH THE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.
NOBODY'S FOOD GOES THROUGH THEM THAT FAST.
YOU'RE RIGHT. IT TAKES MORE THAN 10 HOURS TO DIGEST,
BUT WHEN WE PITCHED "DIGESTION: THE MINISERIES,"
THE NETWORK DIDN'T BITE.
AND WHERE DID ALL THE LIGHT COME FROM?
EXCEPT FOR IN THE MOUTH,
DIGESTION TAKES PLACE IN COMPLETE DARKNESS.
BELIEVE ME, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT CHEAPER
TO DO "THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS" RADIO SHOW.
AND ANOTHER THING:
YOU ONLY SHOWED THE SMALL INTESTINE ABSORBING STUFF.
UMSO WE LEFT OUT SOMETHING?
SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
THE STOMACH DOESN'T BREAK DOWN EVERYTHING.
THE SMALL INTESTINE BREAKS THINGS DOWN, TOO.
AND ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT THE SYSTEM NOT WORKING IN REVERSE--
SOMETIMES IT DOES, LIKE WHEN YOU THROW UP.
RIGHT AGAIN.
BUT NORMALLY, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.
AND TALKING ABOUT NORMAL,
THEY DIDN'T COMPLETE THE RIDE.
WASTE PRODUCTS THAT ACCUMULATE IN THE LARGE INTESTINE--
I KNOW. I KNOW.
THEY ARE ELIMINATED OUT THROUGH THE ANUS,
THE END OF THE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.
IT'S NATURAL, IT'S NORMAL,
BUT DID YOU REALLY EXPECT US TO SHOW THAT ON DAYTIME TV?
WELLMAYBE NOT.
AND ANOTHER THING:
WANDA USING GUM TO GO BUNGEE-JUMPING IN THE LARGE INTESTINE?
I MEAN, COME ON.
[CHUCKLE]
CUTE, HUH?
YOU COULD NEVER USE GUM FOR BUNGEE JUMPING,
NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.
I WISH YOU GUYS WOULD STICK TO THE FACTS.
HUH? WHAT WAS THAT?
UM, THAT?
OH, THAT WAS JUST THE SOUND OF LIZ
STRETCHING THE TRUTH.
HA HA HA!
SURFIN' ON A SOUND WAVE
SWINGIN' THROUGH THE STARS
TAKE A LEFT AT YOUR INTESTINE ♪
TAKE YOUR SECOND RIGHT PAST MARS ♪
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
NAVIGATE A NOSTRIL
CLIMB ON
THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
SPANK A PLANKTON, TOO
ON OUR MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
RAFT A RIVER OF LAVA
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
SUCH A FINE THING TO DO!
SO STRAP YOUR BONES RIGHT TO THE SEAT ♪
COME ON IN AND DON'T BE SHY
JUST TO MAKE YOUR DAY COMPLETE ♪
YOU MIGHT GET BAKED
INTO A PIE
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
STEP INSIDE, IT'S A WILDER RIDE! ♪
COME ON
RIDE ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS ♪
SEAT BELTS, EVERYONE!
PLEASE LET THIS BE A NORMAL FIELD TRIP.
WITH THE FRIZZ? NO WAY!
CRUISIN' ON DOWN MAIN STREE
YOU'RE RELAXED AND FEELIN' GOOD ♪
YEAH!
NEXT THING THAT YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SEEIN' ♪
WA-HA-HA-HOO!
AN OCTOPUS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD! ♪
SURFIN' ON A SOUND WAVE
SWINGIN' THROUGH THE STARS
TAKE A LEFT AT YOUR INTESTINE ♪
TAKE YOUR SECOND RIGHT PAST MARS ♪
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
NAVIGATE A NOSTRIL
CLIMB ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS ♪
SPANK A PLANKTON, TOO
TAKE THAT!
ON OUR MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
RAFT A RIVER OF LAVA
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
SUCH A FINE THING TO DO!
WHOA!
SO STRAP YOUR BONES RIGHT TO THE SEAT ♪
COME ON IN AND DON'T BE SHY ♪
JUST TO MAKE YOUR DAY COMPLETE ♪
YOU MIGHT GET BAKED INTO A PIE ♪
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
STEP INSIDE, IT'S A WILDER RIDE! ♪
COME ON
RIDE ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
[BEEP BEEP]
ARNOLD, THAT'S BRILLIANT!
IT IS?
YEAH. MS. FRIZZLE SAID TO BRING IN SOMETHING
TO HELP ANSWER THE QUESTION,
"WHAT HAPPENS TO THE FOOD WE EAT?"
OH, RIGHT. WHAT DID I BRING?
YOUR OWN MOUTH, CHEWING.
IT'S THE FIRST STEP IN--
IN DIGESTION.
YEAH, YEAH, WE KNOW, DOROTHY ANN.
BUT MY BUDDY ARNOLD HERE IS NOT CHEWING FOOD.
HE'S CHEWING GUM.
GUM?
YEP. BEEN CHEWING FOR 2 HOURS AND 24 MINUTES.
ONLY 6 HOURS AND 46 MINUTES TO GO
BEFORE HE BREAKS THE SCHOOL GUM CHEWING RECORD.
BUT, WANDA, WHAT'S CHEWING GUM
GOT TO DO WITH DIGESTION?
NOTHING, BUT THE FIRST ONE TO BREAK
THE GUM CHEWING RECORD WINS
TWO FREE TICKETS TO ACTION MOUNTAIN,
THE WILDEST, SCARIEST, BEST SCREAM-YOUR-LUNGS- OUT-RIDE IN THE WORLD,
THE RIDE OF MY DREAMS.
LET'S GET THE FACTS.
ARNOLD WANTS TO GO ON THE FASTEST, THE SCARIEST,
THE BEST SCREAM-YOUR-LUNGS- OUT-RIDE IN THE WORLD?
DO YOU FEEL ALL RIGHT, ARNOLD?
ACTUALLY, MY TICKET'S UP FOR GRABS.
I'M JUST HELPING WANDA OUT.
I WOULD HAVE DONE THE CHEWING MYSELF,
BUT I GOT A NEW FILLING. SEE?
AHH! AAH!
[GRUNTING]
OH, GOOD MORNING, CLASS.
ONE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM COMING UP!
EE-YAH!
NOW, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
[HICCUP]
WAS THAT IN THE LESSON PLAN?
AS I ALWAYS SAY, "NO GUTS, NO DIGESTION."
WELL, AS I ALWAYS SAY,
"NO CHEWING, NO FREE TICKETS."
COME ON, ARNOLD! CHEW, CHEW, ARNOLD!
UM, WANDA, I THINK I, UH
SWALLOWED IT.
VERY FUNNY, ARNOLD. YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
SAY, "AHH!" AHH
ARNOLD, HOW COULD YOU?
WANDA, I--
WE WERE GOING TO RIDE ACTION MOUNTAIN TOGETHER.
YOU DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE, DID YOU?
NO, NO! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, REALLY!
I'M SORRY, WANDA. I TOLD YOU
BREAKING RECORDS MADE ME NERVOUS.
I TOLD YOU I'VE NEVER WON ANYTHING IN MY LIFE.
NEVER SAY NEVER, ARNOLD.
I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE PICKED SOMEONE ELSE!
AW. HEY, ARNOLD, IT'S O.K.
I MEAN, IT'S ONLY A RIDE.
AND THAT'S THE END OF THAT.
ACTUALLY, WANDA,
IT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING.
OF WHAT?
OUR NEXT FIELD TRIP.
FIELD TRIP!
FIELD TRIP?
MS. FRIZZLE, I'D REALLY LOVE TO GO ON A FIELD TRIP,
BUT--BUT I'VE GOT THIS WEIRD FEELING.
I MEAN, I ALREADY RUINED WANDA'S DAY.
WHAT IF I RUIN EVERYBODY ELSE'S?
WELL, ARNOLD, I DO NEED A VOLUNTEER TO STAY BEHIND.
STAY BEHIND?
COME ON! LET'S GO!
ME! ME! PICK ME!
THANK YOU, ARNOLD.
ALL RIGHT! WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
WHAT'S THE CATCH?
MEET YOUR SUBSTITUTE TEACHER.
LIZ?
OHCOULD BE WORSE.
SEE YOU VERY SOON, ARNOLD.
ONE FIELD TRIP FOR THEM,
ONE BAG OF CHEEZIE WEEZIES FOR ME.
HMM. OUR TIMING SHOULD BE JUST ABOUT RIGHT.
I DON'T GET IT. I THOUGHT WE WERE
SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THE QUESTION
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THE FOOD WE EAT.
YEAH. WHERE ARE WE GOING?
NOT FAR, CLASS. NOT FAR AT ALL.
HERE WE GO!
MM MMM!
WHOOPS!
WHOA! WHOA!
WHERE ARE WE?
CHECK OUT THE PINK PAVEMENT.
THE WALLS ARE DRIPPING.
YOU KNOW WHAT, MS. FRIZZLE? AT MY OLD SCHOOL,
WE'D TURN BACK IN THIS KIND OF WEATHER.
WHAT ARE THOSE HUMONGO WHITE THINGS?
WHOA!
IF YOU ASK ME, THEY'RE HUMONGO BUS-CRUSHERS.
ACTUALLY, RALPHIE, THEY'RE MORE LIKE HUMONGO FOOD-CRUSHERS.
WAIT A MINUTE. IF THAT'S FOOD
Carlos: WE'RE EITHER ON THE WEIRDEST CUTTING BOARD IN THE WORLD
OR IN SOMEBODY'S MOUTH!
EWW!
BINGO.
BUT NOT JUST ANYBODY'S MOUTH.
[BEEPING]
LOOK FAMILIAR?
ARNOLD? ARNOLD!
BOY, IT'S KIND OF EMPTY IN HERE.
I WONDER WHERE THEY WENT.
WELL, WHEREVER THEY ARE,
THEY DON'T HAVE ME TO SLOW THEM DOWN ANYMORE.
HMM.
AHH, NOTHING LIKE CHEEZIE WEEZIES
WITH A GREEN OLIVE CHASER.
SO THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS TO THE FOOD
WHEN IT GETS DIGESTED
IS THE TEETH CUT AND GRIND IT INTO SMALLER PIECES.
AT MY OLD SCHOOL,
WE WERE NEVER ALLOWED TO BE DIGESTED.
NEVER SAY NEVER, PHOEBE.
BUT ACCORDING TO MY RESEARCH,
AFTER CHEWING COMES SWALLOWING!
I CALL IT ACTION ARNOLD--
THE WILDEST, SCARIEST,
BEST SCREAM-YOUR-LUNGS-OUT- RIDE IN THE WORLD!
WAHOO!
AAH! AAH!
CLASS, WELCOME TO THE ESOPHAGUS.
THE ASPARAGUS?
NO, CARLOS, THE ESOPHAGUS,
IT'S WHERE YOUR FOOD GOES AFTER YOU SWALLOW.
AHHH
MS. FRIZZLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
TIME TO LET ARNOLD'S DIGESTIVE SYSTEM DO THE DRIVING.
COOL! IT'S LIKE WE'RE DRIVING THROUGH A TUNNEL,
BUT THE TUNNEL'S DRIVING US.
HEY, ARNOLD. HOW ABOUT A PUSH?
I WONDER IF THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
TO GET SQUEEZED OUT OF A TUBE OF TOOTHPASTE.
YEAH, BUT I GET THE FEELING WE'RE NO
GONNA END UP ON ARNOLD'S TOOTHBRUSH.
RIGHT YOU ARE, TIM.
THE ESOPHAGUS CONNECTS THE MOUTH TO THE--
ANYONE?
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS I CAN STOMACH.
EXCELLENT, RALPHIE.
THE STOMACH IS THE NEXT STEP IN DIGESTION,
AND IT'S A REAL DOOZY!
AAH! AAH!
IN JUST A FEW MOMENTS, WE'LL BE LANDING IN ARNOLD'S STOMACH.
THANK YOU FOR FLYING DIGESTION AIRWAYS.
NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL A BELLY FLOP.
HA HA HA!
OLIVE EATING--
NOW, THAT'S A SCHOOL RECORD I COULD GO FOR.
THANKS.
WANDA WOULD BE SO IMPRESSED.
OH, ARNOLD!
HEY, WHY NOT?
AAH! OOF!
"THE ALL SCHOOL RECORD BOOK"?
"OLIVE EATING-- 978"?
O.K., IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE OLIVES.
OHH. THERE HAVE TO BE OTHER RECORDS WAITING TO BE BROKEN.
YO HO HO AND A STOMACH OF SLOP ♪
CHECK OUT THE PINK CLIFFS OF ARNOLD!
RALPHIE, THAT'S HIS STOMACH WALL.
ROCK, DEAD AHEAD!
I BET THIS IS WHAT THE PILGRIMS FELT LIKE
BEFORE THEY CRASHED INTO PLYMOUTH ROCK.
FORGET THE PILGRIMS! THE WALLS ARE MOVING!
WHOA! WHOA!
HARD APORT, CLASS!
[GASP]
I KNOW ARNOLD LIKES ROCKS,
BUT DO YOU REALLY THINK HE'D SWALLOW ONE?
THAT'S NO ROCK.
THAT'S ARNOLD'S GUM.
PHEW! THAT WAS CLOSE.
IS IT JUST ME, OR DO YOU GET THE FEELING THERE'S MORE OUT THERE
THAN JUST FOOD AND WATER?
WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S EATING THE BUS.
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. JUST A LITTLE STOMACH ACID.
STOMACH ACID? STOMACH ACID?
HERE AT UNITED DIGESTION,
WE BELIEVE IN BREAKING THINGS DOWN.
WE START WITH THE RAW MATERIAL OF THE FOOD,
PUT IT IN THE MOUTH, AND USE THE FINEST TEETH IN THE WORLD
TO TEAR, GRIND, AND CRUSH IT INTO PIECES
SMALL ENOUGH TO SWALLOW.
THEN THE FOOD GETS PUSHED DOWN THE ESOPHAGUS LINE
INTO STOMACH CENTRAL,
WHERE WE ADD ACIDS AND OTHER CHEMICALS
TO BREAK THE FOOD DOWN
AND DISSOLVE IT INTO A LIQUID.
AND THAT'S ONLY HALF OF WHAT WE DO HERE AT UNITED DIGESTION.
MAN, WHEN IT COMES TO DIGESTION,
ARNOLD DOESN'T MESS AROUND.
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING YET.
YOU MEAN, THERE'S MORE?
MM-HMM.
ALL RIGHT, ARNOLD!
IF THIS DOESN'T IMPRESS HER, NOTHING WILL.
HOW MANY MORE TO GO, LIZ?
ONE MORE, AND I BREAK THE SCHOOL RECORD
FOR PENS STUFFED INTO A POCKET PROTECTOR!
[RUMBLING]
AAH!
WHAT'S THAT?
POOR ARNOLD! LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOT A HOLE IN HIS STOMACH.
NOT A HOLE, KEESHA, A VALVE.
THE DOORWAY TO HIS SMALL INTESTINE.
YEAH, WELL, IT JUST SWALLOWED THE GUM.
HEY, WHY HASN'T THE GUM BEEN DIGESTED?
A FEW THINGS ARE TOO TOUGH TO BE BROKEN UP AND DISSOLVED.
LIKE SCHOOL BUSES, RIGHT?
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.
HERE WE GO!
AAH!
WHOA!
WHERE ARE WE?
IT LOOKS LIKE SCUBA WORLD.
WELCOME TO THE SMALL INTESTINE,
THE NEXT STEP IN DIGESTION.
I DON'T GET IT.
THE FOOD'S BEEN DISSOLVED, DIGESTED,
WHATEVER. WHAT ELSE IS LEFT TO DO?
AS I ALWAYS SAY, RALPHIE,
DIGESTED IS NOT DELIVERED.
ANYONE FOR A DIP?
GO SWIMMING IN ARNOLD'S DIGESTIVE JUICE?
NOT ME. NO WAY!
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW SHE'D HAVE DIGESTIVE JUICE SCUBA GEAR?
ISN'T THIS THE COOLEST?
HEY!
THERE'S THE GUM!
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
HEY, LOOK AT THIS.
THE DISSOLVED FOOD
IS DISAPPEARING INTO THESE
RUBBER CACTUS-TYPE THINGS.
THEY'RE CALLED VILLI.
COOL. THEY'RE SOAKING UP THE FOOD LIKE A SPONGE.
BUT WHERE DID IT GO?
HERE AT UNITED DIGESTION,
WHAT WE DIGEST, WE DELIVER.
AS THE VILLI IN THE SMALL INTESTINE
SOAK UP THE NUTRIENTS IN THE FOOD,
THE NUTRIENTS ARE TRANSFERRED INTO THE BLOODSTREAM,
AND THE BLOODSTREAM DELIVERS THE NUTRIENTS
TO ALL PARTS OF THE BODY
BECAUSE HERE AT UNITED DIGESTION,
WE BELIEVE IN TURNING FOOD INTO FUEL.
I GET IT.
THE BLOODSTREAM IS LIKE
A PIZZA DELIVERY SERVICE,
ONLY IT DELIVERS ENERGY.
SPEAKING OF ENERGY, WHERE'S WANDA?
WHOA! AAH!
WANDA!
[SNORING]
[STOMACH GROWLS]
HUH? DID I DO IT?
2 MINUTES AND 4 SECONDS?
HOW CAN I BREAK THE SCHOOL NAPPING RECORD
IF MY STOMACH KEEPS WAKING ME UP?
[GROWLING]
WHERE COULD SHE BE?
I DON'T SEE HER ANYWHERE!
WANDA, WHERE ARE YOU?
WANDA!
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THE ENTIRE SMALL INTESTINE,
AND NO SIGN OF HER.
WHOOOAAA!
THERE SHE IS.
AAH!
SHE WENT INTO THE LARGE INTESTINE.
THE LARGE INTESTINE? YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE?
WHAT'S THAT?
JUST ARNOLD'S LEFTOVERS.
WATCH OUT!
[HORN BEEPING]
AAH!
BOY, WHAT A RIDE!
TALK ABOUT ACTION!
P U! WHAT'S THAT? EWW!
MAN, IF THE SMALL INTESTINE WAS SCUBA WORLD,
THE LARGE INTESTINE IS SMELL WORLD.
AT LEAST IT'S A LOT DRIER IN HERE.
YEAH, BUT WHERE'S WANDA? WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS SHOULD WORK.
WANDA, IF YOU CAN HEAR THIS,
GIVE A SHOUT.
WHOA! WHOA!
LET'S GO!
ALL RIGHT!
THE FURTHER WE GO, THE DRIER IT GETS.
IT LOOKS LIKE THE WALLS
ARE SUCKING UP ALL THE WATER.
THAT'S THE LARGE INTESTINE FOR YOU.
IT REMOVES THE WATER FROM THE LEFTOVERS.
SO WE HAVE TO FIND WANDA BEFORE SHE GETS DRIED INTO A RAISIN.
A RAISIN? COOL.
RALPHIE! RALPHIE!
UH, NOT COOL AT ALL.
TERRIBLE, ACTUALLY. HEH HEH.
YIKES! AAH!
[GASPS]
WANDA! DON'T!
AAH!
AAH!
WHOA!
GOT YOU!
ALL RIGHT, CARLOS!
YOU SAVED HER.
SAVED ME?
I WAS HAVING A BLAST!
ARNOLD'S DIGESTIVE SYSTEM IS THE WILDEST, SCARIEST,
SCREAM-YOUR-LUNGS-OUT- RIDE IN THE WORLD!
AND IT'S NOT OVER YET.
WE'VE DONE THE MOUTH, WE'VE DONE THE ESOPHAGUS, THE STOMACH,
THE SMALL INTESTINE, THE LARGE INTESTINE.
WHAT COULD BE NEXT?
THE EXTRA-LARGE INTESTINE?
NO. WE JUST HAVE TO JOIN THE REST OF THE WASTE PRODUCTS
AND FINISH THE TRIP.
WHAT?! WHAT?!
WAIT A MINUTE. ACCORDING TO MY RESEARCH,
THE WASTE PRODUCTS GO
UH-UH! NO WAY!
AT MY OLD SCHOOL,
WE WERE NEVER ALLOWED TO END UP IN THE TOILET.
ANYONE HAVE A BETTER IDEA?
WE COULD GO BACK TO THE MOUTH AND RIDE IT AGAIN.
WANDA! WANDA!
SHE'S RIGHT. WE COULD GO BACK THE WAY WE CAME.
I'VE BEEN KEEPING TRACK,
AND THE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM
IS JUST ONE LONG TUBE DIVIDED INTO PARTS.
WE STARTED OFF IN THE MOUTH,
GOT SQUEEZED DOWN THE ESOPHAGUS,
LANDED IN THE STOMACH,
GOT PUSHED INTO THE SMALL INTESTINE,
AND WOUND UP HERE IN THE LARGE INTESTINE,
AND SINCE WE DON'T WANT TO GO OUT HERE,
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS GO BACKWARDS.
WE COULD GO BACK UP THE LARGE INTESTINE,
BACK THROUGH THE SMALL INTESTINE,
INTO THE STOMACH, BACK UP THE ESOPHAGUS,
AND BURST TRIUMPHANTLY OUT THE MOUTH.
IT WON'T BE EASY.
YOU'RE RIGHT, TIM.
DIGESTION PUSHES EVERYTHING DOWN.
WE'LL HAVE TO FIGHT OUR WAY BACK.
WE MIGHT NEVER MAKE IT.
NEVER SAY NEVER, MS. FRIZZLE.
HA HA HA!
HOW CAN I BREAK THE RECORD
FOR EATING LUNCH
IF I CAN'T FIND MY LUNCH?
HMM. I WONDER IF THERE'S ANY RULES
ABOUT IT HAVING TO BE MY LUNCH.
A CHOCOLATE MALLOW-BLASTER!
SHE'LL BE COMING AROUND THE MOUNTAIN ♪
WHEN SHE COMES
YEE-HA!
FULL SPEED AHEAD!
THIS IS INSANE.
CONSIDER THE ALTERNATIVE.
YOU KNOW, BIKING IS MY FAVORITE SPORT.
NOW!
SO MUCH FOR THE EASY PART.
THE EASY PART?
YEAH. REMEMBER ALL THE MUSCLE POWER
THAT PUSHED US DOWN THE ESOPHAGUS?
[GROANING]
AND IT'S ALMOST NOON!
IF ARNOLD EATS LUNCH, THERE'S GONNA BE TONS
OF FOOD RAINING DOWN ON US.
IF I EAT RALPHIE'S LUNCH AND BREAK THE LUNCH-EATING RECORD REAL FAST,
WANDA WILL THINK I'M THE BEST THING
SINCE VELCRO SHOE FASTENERS,
BUT THEN RALPHIE WILL BE STEAMED AT ME FOR ETERNITY.
[STOMACH GRUMBLING]
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
WANDA, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
I'VE GOT IT!
BUT IF I DON'T EAT SOMETHING,
I'LL WITHER AWAY TO NOTHING.
I KNOW! I COULD EAT RALPHIE'S LUNCH
AND THINK UP A GOOD EXCUSE ON A FULL STOMACH.
Wanda: ARNOLD!
WHAT? I'VE HEARD MY STOMACH GROWL BEFORE, BUT TALK?
ARNOLD!
ARE YOU ABOUT TO EA
RALPHIE'S MALLOW-BLASTER?
UH, NO. I-I MEAN, YES.
HEY! WAIT A SECOND. WHO IS THIS?
THIS IS YOUR CONSCIENCE, ARNOLD.
YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T EAT RALPHIE'S MALLOW-BLASTER.
BESIDES, YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUNGRY.
NOT HUNGRY? I COULD EAT A--
YOU JUST THINK YOU'RE HUNGRY.
WHAT YOU REALLY ARE IS THIRSTY.
I AM?
TRUST ME. YOU ARE.
NOW, THERE'S A NICE BOTTLE OF SELTZER IN WANDA'S LUNCH BAG.
THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.
UH, O.K., I GUESS.
HEY. HOW COME IT'S O.K. TO DRINK WANDA'S SELTZER
BUT IT'S NOT O.K. TO EAT RALPHIE'S MALLOW-BLASTER?
BECAUSE WANDA'S A FAR KINDER
AND MORE GENEROUS HUMAN BEING THAN RALPHIE
WHEN IT COMES TO SHARING.
THEN HOW COME WHEN SHE HAS A MALLOW-BLASTER,
SHE HOGS IT ALL TO HERSELF?
LOOK, I'M YOUR CONSCIENCE, ALL RIGHT?
JUST DO WHAT I SAY AND DRINK THE SELTZER NOW!
TIME ME.
Kids: WAY TO GO, ARNOLD!
NOW LET'S ROCK THE BUS
TO CREATE A GIANT GAS BUBBLE.
Kids: IT'S WORKING! IT'S WORKING!
NOW WHAT?
[RUMBLING]
[BELCH]
DID I BREAK THE SELTZER-CHUGGING RECORD?
I'LL NEVER BREAK A RECORD. I'LL NEVER WIN ANYTHING.
I'LL NEVER EVEN GET TO EAT LUNCH.
DID SOMEONE SAY "LUNCH"?
AHEM.
CONGRATULATIONS, ARNOLD.
HUH?
YOU JUST BROKE THE RECORD
FOR BEING THE BEST FIELD TRIP EVER.
WH-WHAT?
AND GIVING ME THE RIDE OF MY DREAMS.
YOU MEAN, I WAS THE FIELD TRIP?
YEP.
BUT WHERE EXACTLY DID YOU GO?
[STOMACH GRUMBLES]
YOU WENT INSIDE
HA HA HA!
MS. FRIZZLE, NO MATTER WHAT,
I'LL NEVER MISS ANOTHER FIELD TRIP,
NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER!
WONDERFUL, ARNOLD.
[GROWLS]
UM, STARTING RIGHT AFTER THE NEXT ONE.
HA HA HA!
IS THIS THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
IS THIS THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
Overlapping voices: IS THIS THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
Both: MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
Overlapping voices: MAGIC SCHOOL BUS?
Kids: I WANT THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
MAGIC SCHOOL BUS.
JUST A MINUTE, PLEASE. HOLD ON.
BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
[GULP]
MAGIC SCHOOL BUS.
Boy: BOY, FOR A SHOW ON SCIENCE,
THERE SURE ARE A BUSLOAD OF MISTAKES.
YOU THINK SO?
I MEAN, THEY JUST ZIPPED THROUGH THE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.
NOBODY'S FOOD GOES THROUGH THEM THAT FAST.
YOU'RE RIGHT. IT TAKES MORE THAN 10 HOURS TO DIGEST,
BUT WHEN WE PITCHED "DIGESTION: THE MINISERIES,"
THE NETWORK DIDN'T BITE.
AND WHERE DID ALL THE LIGHT COME FROM?
EXCEPT FOR IN THE MOUTH,
DIGESTION TAKES PLACE IN COMPLETE DARKNESS.
BELIEVE ME, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT CHEAPER
TO DO "THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS" RADIO SHOW.
AND ANOTHER THING:
YOU ONLY SHOWED THE SMALL INTESTINE ABSORBING STUFF.
UMSO WE LEFT OUT SOMETHING?
SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
THE STOMACH DOESN'T BREAK DOWN EVERYTHING.
THE SMALL INTESTINE BREAKS THINGS DOWN, TOO.
AND ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT THE SYSTEM NOT WORKING IN REVERSE--
SOMETIMES IT DOES, LIKE WHEN YOU THROW UP.
RIGHT AGAIN.
BUT NORMALLY, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.
AND TALKING ABOUT NORMAL,
THEY DIDN'T COMPLETE THE RIDE.
WASTE PRODUCTS THAT ACCUMULATE IN THE LARGE INTESTINE--
I KNOW. I KNOW.
THEY ARE ELIMINATED OUT THROUGH THE ANUS,
THE END OF THE DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.
IT'S NATURAL, IT'S NORMAL,
BUT DID YOU REALLY EXPECT US TO SHOW THAT ON DAYTIME TV?
WELLMAYBE NOT.
AND ANOTHER THING:
WANDA USING GUM TO GO BUNGEE-JUMPING IN THE LARGE INTESTINE?
I MEAN, COME ON.
[CHUCKLE]
CUTE, HUH?
YOU COULD NEVER USE GUM FOR BUNGEE JUMPING,
NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.
I WISH YOU GUYS WOULD STICK TO THE FACTS.
HUH? WHAT WAS THAT?
UM, THAT?
OH, THAT WAS JUST THE SOUND OF LIZ
STRETCHING THE TRUTH.
HA HA HA!
SURFIN' ON A SOUND WAVE
SWINGIN' THROUGH THE STARS
TAKE A LEFT AT YOUR INTESTINE ♪
TAKE YOUR SECOND RIGHT PAST MARS ♪
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
NAVIGATE A NOSTRIL
CLIMB ON
THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
SPANK A PLANKTON, TOO
ON OUR MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
RAFT A RIVER OF LAVA
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
SUCH A FINE THING TO DO!
SO STRAP YOUR BONES RIGHT TO THE SEAT ♪
COME ON IN AND DON'T BE SHY
JUST TO MAKE YOUR DAY COMPLETE ♪
YOU MIGHT GET BAKED
INTO A PIE
ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
STEP INSIDE, IT'S A WILDER RIDE! ♪
COME ON
RIDE ON THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS ♪