The Orchestra (2022) s01e02 Episode Script
Let's not sex the conversation
1
Well?
I beg your pardon?
Any thoughts on what I just played?
- You messed up
- Yes, there.
- Here, the tempo went haywire.
- I know.
- You're wearing two different shoes?
- Yes.
I have a slight clubfoot.
Clubfoot?
You can have that in Denmark?
I thought only pregnant women -
who drank muddy water in Cambodia
got children like that.
Crazy. I had no idea.
Do you find it gross?
Yes.
But the question is if we should
Elin, we still have 10 minutes left.
Oh, you're not bawling over that?
That won't do.
If a conductor says something to you,
will you start crying then, too?
It's your foot. Only the musicians close
to you will notice your clown shoe.
You asked me if I found it gross.
I don't think it's gross.
You're not aspiring to become a dancer,
for God's sake.
You're in the pit, not on stage.
Oh, come on!
THE ORCHESTRA
Tobias from class kissed me.
You mustn't put up with that.
I told him to.
Well, that's okay, then.
We're going out.
Okay. So, is Tobias nice?
He's not as annoying as the other boys.
He doesn't hit and kick as much.
Great.
I hate it when they hit and kick.
- Is that for me?
- That's yours.
- Are we driving in together today?
- I'm not coming in till 10.
- That's late.
- I have a meeting in town first.
- You've had a lot of those recently.
- Yes.
Help me with this?
There you go. Have a nice day.
Will you finish her packed lunch?
- Bye.
- I need to bring my bottle as well.
A bottle?
What does your bottle look like again?
- Thanks for manning the ship, Jeppe.
- No worries.
Glad to see you well again.
Off the record
- I wasn't really sick.
- Oh?
I got a boob job.
- Okay.
- Having kids made the old ones sag.
- But you only have stepchildren.
- Potato-potato.
- Have you ever felt fake boobs?
- No. Not that I'm aware of, anyway.
Well, try.
- No.
- Nobody's looking.
Come on, Jeppe!
They cost me a fortune.
You could at least give 'em a squeeze.
- No
- For my sake. Test drive the rascals.
- Can we please
- Look, they're numb. Can't feel a thing.
- You really mean it?
- Sure.
Get off me, you creep!
Oh, Jeppe, Jeppe, Jeppe
Just settling some executive stuff.
Simon.
- Gertrud, have you got a second?
- How can I help you, Simon?
It's about Bo Høxenhaven.
Well?
Bo asked Anastacia
if she ever plays her cello naked.
Okay, so does she?
That's irrelevant!
It's no business of Bo's or anyone else's
what she does in private.
- Let's get our proportions straight.
- It's a humiliating question.
A sexualization of our workplace
and Anastacia's personal space.
Your words or hers?
As employee representative,
I can't disregard it.
No.
A case like this?
The newspapers would have a field day.
Before we know it, our symphony orchestra
will be reduced to a quartet.
Unless
management ends up taking the fall.
It happens all the time.
No matter how unfair it might seem.
Jeppe!
Have you got a second?
You're aware
that I'm the generalist, right?
Yes.
I see the big picture
and draw up the general guidelines.
You're in the field, Jeppe.
Ready to get your hands dirty.
Yes, right.
That's why I need you now.
Sure. What do you need?
In my opinion, all this can be resolved
with a quick apology.
Okay, an apology, and a guarantee
What? What is it you want?
Give her the apology.
For asking an innocent question? Why?
An apology is an admission of guilt
and a confession.
Yes
I haven't done anything wrong.
I often play naked.
We don't need to hear about that.
- Let alone think about it.
- Know what I don't need to think about?
Your bureaucratic problems, Jeppe.
I'm late for my student!
Know what we're playing? "Quartet for
the End of Time" by Olivier Messiaen.
- Know where he wrote it?
- No.
In a concentration camp!
A place where people suffered.
Where they faced real problems.
- Write that in your fucking book.
- But, Bo
About the apology
- Bo speaking.
- It's Elin. I'm cancelling our class.
I found another teacher.
What are you on about? Another teacher?
Hans Fischer.
The guy in the shithole playing "Cats"?
- I just think
- Listen to me.
You're making the wrong decision.
It's your decision, but it stinks.
Elin?
Hello?
Goddammit!
Bloody hell!
Hi, Simon.
I gather you spoke to Bo and Anastacia.
I gather you spoke to Bo and Anastacia.
Yes, and we resolved the matter.
There's a protocol for this.
Anastacia is entitled to an assessor.
Me, the employee representative.
Sure, but I got the impression
that Anastacia was okay with it.
You can't be sure of that.
Maybe she felt pressured.
She paid lip service to you because
she lacked the support she's entitled to.
You're right, and I did have that in mind,
so maybe the matter isn't resolved.
Unless you want this
to end in the papers -
arrange a new meeting
according to protocol.
You bet.
I was on my way home
to email an Outlook meeting invite asap.
Good.
Have a good evening.
Great to
Bo, darling.
What on earth is the matter?
I've had a rotten day, Mom.
But I'm here now. Look
I got you some candy.
The usual stuff.
Sultalex, Dextylol -
a potpourri of uppers -
downers
and the ones in between.
Yes. Tell me when you run out.
I can only take so much from the pharmacy
without raising eyebrows.
- We're almost out of buttermilk.
- I'll pop down.
Don't give up, darling.
They may not appreciate you -
but you are the most gifted musician
in the orchestra.
Maybe that's why
they don't appreciate you. You know?
They're plain jealous.
But you're chosen, pookie.
Oh yes, you are.
The birthmark on your back is proof.
- Stop it, Mom.
- No.
A birthmark shaped like Beethoven.
If that isn't a sign or a calling,
I don't know what is.
Do I look like I'm chosen?
Honestly?
You can't see your back, Bo.
You haven't got eyes
in the back of your head.
Can we agree on that?
Yes.
Bo.
Please start.
You know why we're here.
I know why we're here, Gertrud.
I just don't acknowledge the reason.
In my daughter's class, they have
a thing called a never-mind box.
Why don't we all wipe the slate clean
and start over in mutual respect?
But there's nothing to wipe clean.
My question was of a professional nature.
One musician to another.
Anastacia didn't see it that way
There was no sexual innuendo, period!
Don't tell me it wasn't sexual.
Check her out. Look at her, I'm saying.
Is the problem my question
or that I posed it to a woman?
Woman, man All the binary labels
are so tiresome,
so reductionist.
- Let's not have a gendered conversation.
- Let's not sex the conversation.
- Gender!
- Let's not sex the gender.
Have we really got time for this?
Seriously?
Five adults going on and on
about semantics?
No matter the gender, Bo,
your question was offensive.
Anastacia is a human being.
Women are human beings
and human beings are women, okay?
I'm not a woman.
Anything wrong with being a woman?
No, Simon.
There's nothing wrong
with being a woman. I never said that.
If I were a woman, I'd never get anything
done. I'd play with my tits all day.
That's damned offensive!
Why? They're my own tits.
But he doesn't have any tits.
I beg to differ.
First I'm falsely accused
of sexual harassment.
Then I'm fat-shamed!
- We won't tolerate body shaming, Simon.
- Can I step in?
How about a good old-fashioned apology?
Bo, Anastacia doesn't seem very offended.
- An apology
- No way!
I'll be damned!
I hope you look inward
and feel ashamed of yourselves.
I have nothing to feel ashamed of.
Please make a note of that.
Well, that went just splendid.
You sure put a lid on that.
- Well, I don't know if
- We'd better run it by Legal.
Your wife.
Damn, I'd like to have avoided that.
Yes.
Yes, that makes two of us.
Well, I've had a couple of challenges
land on my table.
Bo Høxenhaven, the second clarinet.
We're in a bit of a bind -
so Gertrud thinks
we need to run it by Legal.
I'll email you a meeting invite,
okay, honey?
I love you both so much.
You know that, right?
- You know, right?
- Yes, we know.
Dad?
Are you asleep?
Not yet, sweetie.
But we have to.
They may call you from school.
Okay?
Because I stuck a stick
up Tobias's bottom.
Listen, sweetie, you can't go around
sticking things up people's bottoms.
- Let's chat tomorrow.
- I have nothing more to say.
But Tobias probably does
because he's such a telltale.
Fuck.
Elin.
You're not my teacher anymore.
I'm sorry to barge in. I know
you cancelled, and I know it's late.
I need to show you something.
Look.
- A great big birthmark.
- That other people might find gross.
Can't you see what it resembles?
It's Beethoven.
Beethoven?
It's the spitting image of Beethoven.
Whenever I doubt my purpose,
this birthmark tells me -
that music chose me
and not the other way round.
I've never shown it to anyone before.
Not even a girlfriend?
No, I'm between girlfriends.
But sure, my other girlfriends saw it
when we had sex.
But
But that's beside the point.
None of us is perfect.
We're all a bit repulsive.
Only music is perfect.
If you want to improve,
I think
I'd like to help you.
Please cancel Hans Fischer.
Please.
He's so bad, Elin.
And so stupid.
All he can teach you is to get worse.
- He can only teach you to play lousy.
- I just want the best, Bo.
I think you're the best, Bo.
Don't doubt your purpose. It's obvious
to anyone who's heard you play.
You're fantastic.
So
Thanks.
Let's just You were playing Messiaen.
Let's just carry on.
- Yes, but talk nice to me.
- But I do, for fuck's sake!
Remember, he was into ornithology
so make it sound like a bird.
And he wrote it in a concentration camp.
Get that in there, too.
Dansk Video Tekst
Well?
I beg your pardon?
Any thoughts on what I just played?
- You messed up
- Yes, there.
- Here, the tempo went haywire.
- I know.
- You're wearing two different shoes?
- Yes.
I have a slight clubfoot.
Clubfoot?
You can have that in Denmark?
I thought only pregnant women -
who drank muddy water in Cambodia
got children like that.
Crazy. I had no idea.
Do you find it gross?
Yes.
But the question is if we should
Elin, we still have 10 minutes left.
Oh, you're not bawling over that?
That won't do.
If a conductor says something to you,
will you start crying then, too?
It's your foot. Only the musicians close
to you will notice your clown shoe.
You asked me if I found it gross.
I don't think it's gross.
You're not aspiring to become a dancer,
for God's sake.
You're in the pit, not on stage.
Oh, come on!
THE ORCHESTRA
Tobias from class kissed me.
You mustn't put up with that.
I told him to.
Well, that's okay, then.
We're going out.
Okay. So, is Tobias nice?
He's not as annoying as the other boys.
He doesn't hit and kick as much.
Great.
I hate it when they hit and kick.
- Is that for me?
- That's yours.
- Are we driving in together today?
- I'm not coming in till 10.
- That's late.
- I have a meeting in town first.
- You've had a lot of those recently.
- Yes.
Help me with this?
There you go. Have a nice day.
Will you finish her packed lunch?
- Bye.
- I need to bring my bottle as well.
A bottle?
What does your bottle look like again?
- Thanks for manning the ship, Jeppe.
- No worries.
Glad to see you well again.
Off the record
- I wasn't really sick.
- Oh?
I got a boob job.
- Okay.
- Having kids made the old ones sag.
- But you only have stepchildren.
- Potato-potato.
- Have you ever felt fake boobs?
- No. Not that I'm aware of, anyway.
Well, try.
- No.
- Nobody's looking.
Come on, Jeppe!
They cost me a fortune.
You could at least give 'em a squeeze.
- No
- For my sake. Test drive the rascals.
- Can we please
- Look, they're numb. Can't feel a thing.
- You really mean it?
- Sure.
Get off me, you creep!
Oh, Jeppe, Jeppe, Jeppe
Just settling some executive stuff.
Simon.
- Gertrud, have you got a second?
- How can I help you, Simon?
It's about Bo Høxenhaven.
Well?
Bo asked Anastacia
if she ever plays her cello naked.
Okay, so does she?
That's irrelevant!
It's no business of Bo's or anyone else's
what she does in private.
- Let's get our proportions straight.
- It's a humiliating question.
A sexualization of our workplace
and Anastacia's personal space.
Your words or hers?
As employee representative,
I can't disregard it.
No.
A case like this?
The newspapers would have a field day.
Before we know it, our symphony orchestra
will be reduced to a quartet.
Unless
management ends up taking the fall.
It happens all the time.
No matter how unfair it might seem.
Jeppe!
Have you got a second?
You're aware
that I'm the generalist, right?
Yes.
I see the big picture
and draw up the general guidelines.
You're in the field, Jeppe.
Ready to get your hands dirty.
Yes, right.
That's why I need you now.
Sure. What do you need?
In my opinion, all this can be resolved
with a quick apology.
Okay, an apology, and a guarantee
What? What is it you want?
Give her the apology.
For asking an innocent question? Why?
An apology is an admission of guilt
and a confession.
Yes
I haven't done anything wrong.
I often play naked.
We don't need to hear about that.
- Let alone think about it.
- Know what I don't need to think about?
Your bureaucratic problems, Jeppe.
I'm late for my student!
Know what we're playing? "Quartet for
the End of Time" by Olivier Messiaen.
- Know where he wrote it?
- No.
In a concentration camp!
A place where people suffered.
Where they faced real problems.
- Write that in your fucking book.
- But, Bo
About the apology
- Bo speaking.
- It's Elin. I'm cancelling our class.
I found another teacher.
What are you on about? Another teacher?
Hans Fischer.
The guy in the shithole playing "Cats"?
- I just think
- Listen to me.
You're making the wrong decision.
It's your decision, but it stinks.
Elin?
Hello?
Goddammit!
Bloody hell!
Hi, Simon.
I gather you spoke to Bo and Anastacia.
I gather you spoke to Bo and Anastacia.
Yes, and we resolved the matter.
There's a protocol for this.
Anastacia is entitled to an assessor.
Me, the employee representative.
Sure, but I got the impression
that Anastacia was okay with it.
You can't be sure of that.
Maybe she felt pressured.
She paid lip service to you because
she lacked the support she's entitled to.
You're right, and I did have that in mind,
so maybe the matter isn't resolved.
Unless you want this
to end in the papers -
arrange a new meeting
according to protocol.
You bet.
I was on my way home
to email an Outlook meeting invite asap.
Good.
Have a good evening.
Great to
Bo, darling.
What on earth is the matter?
I've had a rotten day, Mom.
But I'm here now. Look
I got you some candy.
The usual stuff.
Sultalex, Dextylol -
a potpourri of uppers -
downers
and the ones in between.
Yes. Tell me when you run out.
I can only take so much from the pharmacy
without raising eyebrows.
- We're almost out of buttermilk.
- I'll pop down.
Don't give up, darling.
They may not appreciate you -
but you are the most gifted musician
in the orchestra.
Maybe that's why
they don't appreciate you. You know?
They're plain jealous.
But you're chosen, pookie.
Oh yes, you are.
The birthmark on your back is proof.
- Stop it, Mom.
- No.
A birthmark shaped like Beethoven.
If that isn't a sign or a calling,
I don't know what is.
Do I look like I'm chosen?
Honestly?
You can't see your back, Bo.
You haven't got eyes
in the back of your head.
Can we agree on that?
Yes.
Bo.
Please start.
You know why we're here.
I know why we're here, Gertrud.
I just don't acknowledge the reason.
In my daughter's class, they have
a thing called a never-mind box.
Why don't we all wipe the slate clean
and start over in mutual respect?
But there's nothing to wipe clean.
My question was of a professional nature.
One musician to another.
Anastacia didn't see it that way
There was no sexual innuendo, period!
Don't tell me it wasn't sexual.
Check her out. Look at her, I'm saying.
Is the problem my question
or that I posed it to a woman?
Woman, man All the binary labels
are so tiresome,
so reductionist.
- Let's not have a gendered conversation.
- Let's not sex the conversation.
- Gender!
- Let's not sex the gender.
Have we really got time for this?
Seriously?
Five adults going on and on
about semantics?
No matter the gender, Bo,
your question was offensive.
Anastacia is a human being.
Women are human beings
and human beings are women, okay?
I'm not a woman.
Anything wrong with being a woman?
No, Simon.
There's nothing wrong
with being a woman. I never said that.
If I were a woman, I'd never get anything
done. I'd play with my tits all day.
That's damned offensive!
Why? They're my own tits.
But he doesn't have any tits.
I beg to differ.
First I'm falsely accused
of sexual harassment.
Then I'm fat-shamed!
- We won't tolerate body shaming, Simon.
- Can I step in?
How about a good old-fashioned apology?
Bo, Anastacia doesn't seem very offended.
- An apology
- No way!
I'll be damned!
I hope you look inward
and feel ashamed of yourselves.
I have nothing to feel ashamed of.
Please make a note of that.
Well, that went just splendid.
You sure put a lid on that.
- Well, I don't know if
- We'd better run it by Legal.
Your wife.
Damn, I'd like to have avoided that.
Yes.
Yes, that makes two of us.
Well, I've had a couple of challenges
land on my table.
Bo Høxenhaven, the second clarinet.
We're in a bit of a bind -
so Gertrud thinks
we need to run it by Legal.
I'll email you a meeting invite,
okay, honey?
I love you both so much.
You know that, right?
- You know, right?
- Yes, we know.
Dad?
Are you asleep?
Not yet, sweetie.
But we have to.
They may call you from school.
Okay?
Because I stuck a stick
up Tobias's bottom.
Listen, sweetie, you can't go around
sticking things up people's bottoms.
- Let's chat tomorrow.
- I have nothing more to say.
But Tobias probably does
because he's such a telltale.
Fuck.
Elin.
You're not my teacher anymore.
I'm sorry to barge in. I know
you cancelled, and I know it's late.
I need to show you something.
Look.
- A great big birthmark.
- That other people might find gross.
Can't you see what it resembles?
It's Beethoven.
Beethoven?
It's the spitting image of Beethoven.
Whenever I doubt my purpose,
this birthmark tells me -
that music chose me
and not the other way round.
I've never shown it to anyone before.
Not even a girlfriend?
No, I'm between girlfriends.
But sure, my other girlfriends saw it
when we had sex.
But
But that's beside the point.
None of us is perfect.
We're all a bit repulsive.
Only music is perfect.
If you want to improve,
I think
I'd like to help you.
Please cancel Hans Fischer.
Please.
He's so bad, Elin.
And so stupid.
All he can teach you is to get worse.
- He can only teach you to play lousy.
- I just want the best, Bo.
I think you're the best, Bo.
Don't doubt your purpose. It's obvious
to anyone who's heard you play.
You're fantastic.
So
Thanks.
Let's just You were playing Messiaen.
Let's just carry on.
- Yes, but talk nice to me.
- But I do, for fuck's sake!
Remember, he was into ornithology
so make it sound like a bird.
And he wrote it in a concentration camp.
Get that in there, too.
Dansk Video Tekst