The Paynes (2018) s01e02 Episode Script

What did you say? This our new house, baby.
That's what I thought you said.
Yes.
Don't you like it?! Curtis.
[CHUCKLES.]
I'm still on the part where you said this is our new house.
Mnh! Yes! Don't you like it, baby? Curtis, what are you talking about? You remember how you told me to be open-minded? I'm open-minded, baby.
Boom.
But I need you to be open-minded, too.
Curtis, okay.
Okay.
What are you talking about? Okay, you you can't hear me, baby? Think we gonna get these checked.
Baby, this is our new house! You heard me.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Whose new house? Whose new house? - O ours, baby.
Us'.
Surprise.
Okay, wh what's what's going on? No, no.
Now, pay attention, baby, 'cause this gonna get good.
Curtis, what do you mean, this is our new house? We moved? - What? - Baby, we Flordidians now! I'm gonna keep my Falcons, though.
[CHUCKLES.]
[SCOFFS.]
Is he crazy? Oh, come on, Auntie Ella.
We been trying to tell you that for years.
Please tell me you're not just realizing that now.
[SCOFFS.]
You two.
- I'm sorry.
- My bad.
Didn't I tell you not to poke the bear? Yeah, but you said Uncle Curtis was the bear.
No.
Mama Bear is much worse.
Who you calling a bear? Curtis, what do you mean, you bought this house? Baby, when Uncle Roland passed ALL: Robert.
Thank you.
They sold me this house for next to nothing.
You heard me? They should've sold it to you for free.
No, they should've paid him.
You're not helping.
We're not trying to.
Curtis, I'm not leaving Atlanta.
Yes, you are, baby.
- You said you would.
- Wh when, Curtis? Baby, don't you remember? You said you wanted to move to Florida! Curtis, when did I say that? 1982! December 16th! It was a snowy day.
You said you wanted to go to Florida.
Then get some Cuban sandwiches.
Remember? Curtis, I didn't tell you I would move to Florida.
I said I would think about it.
You ain't got to think anymore.
We here.
I'ma kill him.
- I'ma kill him.
I'm gonna kill him dead.
- Ella, Ella, - you stop.
Ella, - I'm telling you, he going down.
you stop it right now, baby.
Now, you know we promised we would never fight in front of the kids or use harsh words.
Y'all been fighting in front of me since I was born.
Shut the hell up.
Whose side you on, anyway? Mama's.
- I swear, I'm gonna - You know what, unh-unh.
Everybody, I don't want to hear this.
Come on, let's just go load up in the R.
V.
- Come on.
We going home.
- You can't.
Why can't we? Wait till you hear this part.
Is that a pine tree? Right next to an oak tree? They have babies, they'd be poke trees.
Little poke trees.
Mnh-mnh.
Boo.
It's a beautiful view, baby.
Just look at the view.
Uncle Curtis, no.
That ain't no view.
That ain't no view.
He just trying to oversell this trash.
- It's not gonna work.
- Right.
Et tu, brute? There's no there's no view out here.
Tell me why we can't go home.
I sold the house.
- Curtis? - Yeah, baby? You sold our house? Yes, baby.
Yes! Come on, see! Come on! Come on! - Calvin, C.
J.
- I I don't want to.
- What is - I don't, either.
You sold my house? Curtis, the house I raised my family in? W yeah.
You want to thank me? The house with all of our memories, baby? - Baby, all of our memories are still with us.
- Eep! And they ain't that great.
Curtis, I know you kidding me.
I know you kidding me.
- No.
- You better be.
Baby [SIGHS.]
stop being so dramatic.
Come on, that old, dusty house? Come on, now.
No, this is the dusty house, Curtis! That is my house! You mean it was your house.
Boy.
I'm sorry.
I'm just gonna back up.
Quickly.
And, uh, even that's too close.
She may look slow, but she's fast.
You're right.
I can hear y'all.
Oh, you can hear that.
Baby, did you see the kitchen? Did you see the kitchen? Look at it! Tell me you did not sell my house.
I can't tell you that, baby.
Without talking to me about it, Curtis?! [SCOFFS.]
Ella, please.
All you did was complain about that house, baby.
- No, I did not.
- Yes, you did! Baby, you said it had too many memories.
Good memories, Curtis.
- Well, baby - You know what, unh-unh! I don't want to hear this.
Call whoever you sold it to and tell them I am coming home.
And you are gonna be in the dog house.
I ain't going in that dog house no more! Baby, where you going? To the R.
V.
, Curtis.
I'm going to wait in the R.
V.
- Come on, kids, everybody.
- Gladly.
Man, I can't believe you sold Auntie Ella's house right from under her.
I'm gonna take that rug right from under you and bury you in it.
Well, please, just don't use this rug, 'cause it looks like one big infection.
To the R.
V.
- I told you this wouldn't work.
- Why? - [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
- Pops, you don't get how disrespectful this was? I thought I was doing the right thing.
By not considering her feelings? - Right.
Pops, you got to think about - Oh, please.
As many women's hearts as you done broken? - You shouldn't be talking to me about nothing.
- Well Well, you know what I'm saying.
[SIGHS.]
I thought she'd like it.
I don't understand how you could've thought that.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
I mean, look at this place.
This place is fine, man.
We can fix it up.
We can make this work.
No, no, I think you need to call whoever sold you this house and get out the deal.
Don't think I can do that.
Then I think you need a divorce lawyer.
Well, since you know all of them.
I can't believe she's this upset.
Well, Curtis, this is just wrong.
No! This is better for us.
I mean, our bills are lower now, and we getting an income coming in from the laundromat.
- Where is this laundromat? - It's right around the corner.
And it brings in $8,000 a month! - You heard me? - What? - Right.
- Wait, Pops, that's a lot of money.
Doggone Skippy, it's a lot of money! Man, we could live good.
Ella can relax, and I can take her on long trips.
Well, why didn't you say that to her? - You think I should've? - Yeah.
I thought she'd be happy.
Pops, tell her what you told us.
$8,000 a month would make me happy.
$8 a year would make you happy.
Wait.
Just give her a minute to calm down.
She's fuming right now.
She ain't fuming no more.
- What is she doing? - The only thing fuming is that R.
V.
- She left.
- What? - Yeah, she kicked me out.
- Why? [SCOFFS.]
'Cause I'm a man.
You know women be trippin'.
- Where she say she was going? - To Atlanta.
I know she's not leaving me.
I know she not leaving me.
Ella! Know not me! I got to get fumigated.
I was itching when I did that.
- What's wrong? - She gone.
Uh, Auntie Ella, you should probably slow down.
[SCOFFS.]
He just gonna move me and not tell me? Yeah, I know you're upset.
- [CHUCKLES.]
You got that right.
- Uh, I'm I'm telling you, you might want to slow down.
- And sold my house! - See, that right there was wrong.
[SCOFFS.]
You let me get back to Atlanta and see my house sold.
- I know it.
- I'm telling you right now, - it's not gonna be good.
- If we make it to Atlanta, with you driving this fast.
- Can you believe him? - No.
Actually, yes.
Uncle Curtis has been doing stuff like this - since y'all been married.
- Little girl, little girl.
Oh.
I'm all up in your business, huh? [SCOFFS.]
Yes, you are.
My bad.
I'll just I'll be back here online.
Like he just gonna move me.
Like I like I don't have a voice to speak.
That was just so inconsiderate.
He didn't think about your stuff, your feelings.
He just - just did what he wanted to do.
- None of my stuff.
None of your stuff! - Why are you agreeing with me? - What? - Why are you agreeing with me? - Because you're right.
You're absolutely right.
- I I know I'm right.
- I know I know you know you're right.
- I'm not trying to - Well, I don't need you to agree with me - Okay, I won't agree anymore.
- To make sure I'm right.
I am sorry.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
See, Mom? That's what happens when you sit shotgun next to a loaded gun.
You get shot.
Speaking of getting shot, Jazmine.
- Is minding her business.
I'm sorry.
- Okay, right, right.
Thank you.
- Welcome.
- Welcome.
Mnh! Did you see that old house? That run-down piece of Do not get me started on that house.
That thing I'm sorry.
- And that big old kitchen.
- That thing was big.
You see those and we gonna need new cabinets.
Absolutely.
[SCOFFS.]
And paint.
You know how much paint that's gonna cost? But you know how much you like to paint, though.
And the neighborhood, Janine.
I mean, the neighborhood is just like It was, it was.
But you got church.
That same church was right there on the corner.
- Oh.
- Uh-huh.
- That's that church that - Wait, wait! - [TIRES SCREECH.]
- [HORNS HONK.]
Sorry! [CHUCKLES.]
Thank you.
That's the church.
"We gonna need your help at the church.
" - He did not - He told her.
- He told her, too.
- Ooh! [SCOFFS.]
Well, you just wait one minute.
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Where we going? - Where we going? - Oh.
- [HORNS HONK.]
- No, unh-unh.
- They're not glad.
- Where we going? - To the church.
- Lord, girl, if I don't make it, it's 'cause the old people got mad at each other.
- [HORN HONKS.]
- Aah! I ain't gonna make it.
- There she go.
- Okay, just just be calm, please.
- I'm calm.
I'm good.
- You're a Christian.
Joann.
- Hi.
- [CHUCKLES.]
hi.
Uh, I need to talk to you.
Yeah.
So, Curtis told me - that he bought Uncle Richard's house.
- Uh, Robert.
- Yeah.
- Who else? Robert - he bought his house.
- We were so grateful! [CHUCKLES.]
Well, about that, baby.
Just You want to see what we did with the money? I really don't care what you did with the money.
Look at all these kids.
- You look at all these - Aunt Ella.
What's going on with all these kids? We started an after-school program to help them stay out of trouble.
Got so much gang violence around here.
And just look look at how happy they all are.
This is really kind of nice.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I sold Uncle Robert's house, and I did all this myself with the money.
[SCOFFS.]
Well, all these kids about to be out of luck.
Jazmine.
- What? I I thought you said - I said be quiet.
Yes, ma'am.
Sorry.
Uh, Ella, this is Nyla.
- Hi.
Hi.
- Hi.
She volunteers here.
Oh.
Hi.
Hi, Nyla.
I am Ella.
This is Jazmine.
She's on vocal rest.
Not to say another word.
- And this is her mother, Janine.
- Hi.
Ah, Nyla's a member of the church.
She's so faithful.
Thank you so much.
Hey, baby.
Hi.
Uh, this is my husband.
I need to talk to you.
I'll see you.
- Unh-unh.
unh-unh.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
He just gonna snatch her out of here like that? Well, as I said, we really could use someone like you in the neighborhood.
So, now, what is it you want to talk to me about? Getting her money.
- Oh.
- Mnh! And, uh, I wanted to see what I could do to help you.
Oh! That sounds so wonderful! Oh, and your presence here would mean a world of difference.
It really, really, really would.
Here, let me finish showing you around.
- I'd like that.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Does this mean you're staying? It means she's showing me around.
Stay quiet.
You know, I think we might all need bullet-proof vests around here.
Oh, please.
This neighborhood ain't that bad.
- [DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
- Huh.
You sure this place is generating that kind of money? Yes, I'm sure.
I don't see how.
We'll clean it up, that's all.
Yeah, and a tear-down notice from the city.
Come on, let's check it out.
[DOORKNOB RATTLES.]
Back up from the glass.
Hi.
[MOCKINGLY.]
Hi.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
We closed.
Yeah, excuse me, excuse me.
I'm the new owner.
I want to come in.
New owner? Ain't nobody dumb enough to buy this place, man.
- Yeah.
- Double tap.
[CHUCKLES.]
What what the hell's so funny? Man, who are you? I'm Curtis Payne.
You gonna be in pain, you coming up in here.
Come back tomorrow when I can check your I.
D.
Get gone.
Double tap.
Look, open the door.
No! It's got a time lock like a bank.
Keep people like you from getting in.
- Who are you? - I'm the manager.
Well, I'm the owner, and that trumps the manager.
I'm the manager that trumps the owner, and I ain't vote for Tump, so, no, you can't come in.
Bye-bye.
You ain't got no keys? Double tap.
- Open this door! - And you don't touch that door! I'm touching the door! You think you come in here and letting them dogs loose? - I'm coming in! - You not coming in here! As soon as I come in that door, you fired, you hear me? - Open the door! - No.
Shut up.
Hey, man.
Come on in.
Wait, where are the dogs? That radio right there.
How you doing? My name's Ryan.
That's a nice tie.
It's really a pleasure to meet you.
- You're fired.
- What? What? No, man! You can't fire me! I got I got two kids.
I'm taking care of all five of them.
Hear him out, uncle.
Man, please, man.
I'm the only one keeping this place together, man.
I got to make repairs Duct tape, spit.
Use my spit in everything.
Okay, you ain't got to spit.
I'm sorry.
Ain't no profits to fix nothing around here.
Man, what are you talking about, as much money this place make? What place? Somebody done lied to you.
This place don't make no money.
Yeah, you know what? Somebody said a fool done bought this place.
- Can you believe it? - Hey, hey, hey.
Don't call my pops no fool.
Oh, you the fool? Look, man, I'm sorry, but look at this place.
You bought this? Yes, I bought it.
Why? I was told it was a good deal.
You got got.
Double tap.
You think this is funny, kid? You fired again.
Sir, you better off keeping your fires and burning this place down.
You fired three times.
Say something else.
You want to make it four? Double tap! Well, pops.
This does seem kind of foolish.
Et tu, brute? Well, uh Who told you this place makes $8,000 a month? [SCOFFS.]
Man, Joann.
Oh, I know somebody named Joann.
From the church? - Yeah.
- That's my mama.
Christian lady? - Yeah.
- Cute in the face, slim in the waist? You got duped.
This place don't make no $8,000.
More like $8 a month.
Double tap.
Man, she cute.
Oh, swimsuit model.
- Mm.
- Yeah.
What's your I.
D.
? Oh, it's @calvinpayne-bignasty.
Bignasty.
I think I seen I think I'm following you.
Yeah? - Is that your phone? - Yes, it is.
So, is it with a "K" or with a "C"? Uh, with a "C.
" [CLATTER.]
Double tap that! He didn't send me the girl's address yet.
Your mama gonna kill me.
Yeah.
But you already casket sharp.
Hey, we could just bury you next to Uncle Ricky.
TOGETHER: Robert.
Now he knows his name.