The Romanoffs (2018) s01e02 Episode Script
The Royal We
1 [CLASSICAL VIOLIN PLAYING.]
[ROCK MUSIC.]
TOM PETTY: We got something, we both know it We don't talk too much about it Ain't no real big secret All the same, somehow we get around it Listen It don't really matter to me, babe You believe what you want to believe You see, you don't have to live like a refugee THE HEARTBREAKERS: Don't have to live like a refugee No! [MUSIC FADES.]
SHELLY: I was watching this movie about these people falling in love.
The guy said something like, "We have so much in common.
" Then later in the movie, they get in a fight, and the girl says, "Opposites attract.
" And I mean, I don't know.
Which one is it? Well, I suppose both are true.
Still, those are just lines from a movie.
Sometimes I just think we're too different.
Is that the way it's supposed to be, or are we supposed to like doing the same things? Michael? I think she should do what she wants to do.
I do.
But it's just that you don't want to do anything.
I mean, you don't like dancing, you don't want to go to my family's lake house, uh, or go for a hike or to the movies or to see friends.
Well, you don't understand because you work at home, and I have to go into that office every day.
But isn't that more reason to go out and have fun? I'm never at home.
I don't care what we do.
I would do anything you want.
But you do care because you make all the decisions what I do with my spare time, how many hours I work, - how much I get paid.
- The business is both of ours.
Okay, but we both know that you're the boss and I'm the employee.
- Why do you always say that? - Because it's true.
Shelly, we try not to say people always say anything.
Right? Michael? I'm just curious.
What do you enjoy? I like lots of things.
I can't read his mind.
I surprised him with this vacation because he joined this society to learn more about his family history, and they sent us these brochures, and I distinctly heard him say, "That looks cool.
" It does look cool.
Michael, why don't you tell Shelly something you'd like to do? Um You know what? You're right.
I can't think of anything.
I'll do whatever you want.
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS.]
I know she's expensive.
I'm not trying to waste it.
- Do you have to do that right now? - Don't.
I deserve this.
[CAR KEY BEEPS.]
[CAR ENGINE STARTS.]
[CAR ALARM HONKS.]
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Yeah? Thanks.
Hey, I got Esther to cover your SAT session tomorrow.
Why? I'm not leaving till Friday.
The schedule says you have jury duty.
Fuck.
My dad says you, uh, just have to convince them you're a racist to get out of it.
Well, I'll just tell them the truth.
There is no justice.
Dumb shit or hard on? He's got a 4.
4 from St.
Pat's, so probably both.
Michael Romanoff.
Great to meet you, Andrew.
Ahem.
I like to start with you telling me in your own words what your goals are, your dreams, your interests.
I need a 1600.
I want to go to Harvard.
What would you say if I told you there might be other options that are better for you? I would say I want my money back because you have a guaranteed satisfaction policy.
Okay.
So can you tell me why you want to go to Harvard? [SIGHS.]
Uh, so I can do whatever I want instead of staying here forever and getting a shitty job and being a loser.
Uh-huh.
Because people who stay here are losers.
Well [CHUCKLES.]
I don't know.
You help people get into Harvard.
It's pretty cool.
I can give you your money back right now because wanting something and getting it are two very different things.
Not if you go to Harvard.
Keep saying "Harvard," Andrew, is not gonna make it happen.
You have to accept the reality and try to be happy with whatever you get.
- Yale? - You're not listening, Andrew.
The big secret is nobody's happy.
I just came here for test prep.
Well, we're gonna find a good second, maybe third tier school for you where you can party and enjoy the next four years, 'cause they're gonna be the best ones of your life.
That's a guarantee.
[BEEPING.]
[VIDEO GAME NOISES.]
[YAWNING.]
Oh, can you go online and stop the Sunday paper? I don't want it sitting in the driveway while we're gone.
Can we just stop it forever? I mean, we just recycle it.
I like the crosswords.
You can do it online.
It's not the same.
But you know what? Yeah, go ahead.
Guess we're going to bed now.
You can still play your game.
[VIDEO GAME NOISES.]
[SIGHS.]
This is taking forever.
[RATTLING.]
No, thank you.
What's that game? Excuse me? Are those fish? Uh, baby pandas.
They're trapped in bubbles, and you have to bounce these bubbles into those bubbles to free them.
- Mm-hmm.
- And if you don't free all of them, the mama cries.
And what if you do? Then you go on to the next level.
It's a little bit different, usually harder.
[SNICKERING.]
You should explain that to the judge.
They'll never take you.
[SNICKERING.]
I'm Darryl.
Michael.
Yeah.
How about her? Are you kidding me? Honey, I really tried.
You know we leave on Friday.
I don't know what to tell you.
They said it would be quick.
They're going to have a murder trial in two days? Shelly, it's not the way it is on TV, okay? That's what they said.
[SIGHS.]
I don't think I can get our money back.
Look, it's the law.
There's nothing I can do.
And moreover, it's my civic duty.
Okay.
I'll try to change the flights to the redeye.
WOMAN: Raised in poverty, Sarah Elkins lived most of her 76 years on a fixed income.
Her husband Larry left her an apartment building, hoping it would take care of her.
Unfortunately, her desire to give a home to a troubled young man brought death to her doorstep.
April 19th was warmer than usual.
Kurt Davis, the defendant, went to his local bar, the Irish Rose, to enjoy six shots of Old Crow and four bottles of Budweiser.
Little did Sarah know that, around 8:30 that night, he would break down her door, crush her skull with a table lamp, and shoot her three times point blank before shooting himself in the thigh, claiming they had been, quote, jumped by two spics, end quote.
Well, you could have been out in the street, they were yelling so loud, and I mean cussing.
Was this the only interaction you witnessed? No.
I remember once Mrs.
Elkins complained to him and left him a note.
And then I saw that he left her a note.
Is this the note you saw? Yes.
Can you read it? "Fuck you, bitch.
My dog does what my dog does.
" [CHUCKLES.]
Please tell your client he's not helping himself.
Hey, there.
Hello.
I left mine in the car.
Do you mind, uh These are good.
I guess we're the only two smokers in there.
You know, I know we're not supposed to talk about it, but it's fascinating, isn't it? It is.
Have you done this before? No.
First time.
But I've always wanted to.
Why? I suppose I have this nightmare that I'll get caught for something and it'll be good karma.
Guilty conscience.
I guess.
And I just love murder.
You do? Everybody loves true crime.
I don't know.
My whole family was murdered, so I guess it always seems a little close to home.
Wait.
Your family? Well, how did they allow you on the jury? Oh, it was a while ago.
That's horrible.
How? Bolsheviks.
[CHUCKLING.]
- Really? - You're not even American.
How'd you get on the jury? I'll see you inside.
As the diagram indicates, the victim suffered three bullet wounds and a severe fracture to the skull, resulting in a brain contusion and eventually fatal hemorrhage.
The position of the body on the floor, along with the bullet exit wounds, indicates that the victim had already collapsed prior to being shot.
Despite the initial head injury and blood loss from additional bullet wounds, [VOICE FADING.]
the autopsy concluded that the cranial bullet wound was in fact the cause of death.
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
Holy shit.
Yeah.
What a bloodbath.
I think this one is open and shut.
You think so? Mm.
I got to get home.
Oh.
Me, too.
- [CAR ALARM BEEPS.]
- Have a good night.
You, too.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
[CAR ALARM BEEPS.]
Okay, so you can write off Borderlands and Assassin's Creed, but these other ones, I don't know, it's too much.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[ROCK PLAYING ON SOUND SYSTEM.]
Hello.
How was it? I'm not allowed to talk about it.
I thought you weren't gonna smoke in the house.
Oh.
Well, we have a deal.
I do his taxes, he gets me high.
Ah.
Cool.
Want some? Uh, no.
I'm beat.
Mm.
[STRAINED VOICE.]
We have a pizza coming.
I'll bet you do.
[SNICKERING.]
SHELLY: Oh.
Michael.
They let me change the flight tomorrow, so don't worry.
Great.
So, really, uh, who has not been in the defendant's position? Wrongfully accused, trying to prove something didn't happen.
It's like trying to show what's not there.
The defense rests? If we can please clear the courtroom so I can instruct the jury.
That's it? DARRYL: It's 11:00.
According to the judge, we can take a vote, submit our verdict, and then begin sentencing, and hopefully be out of here by dinner.
Agreed.
He's guilty as fuck.
Let's vote.
So, by a show of hands, how many people believe that Mr.
Kurt Davis is guilty of murder in the first degree? Michael? W we're voting now.
It seems really fast.
You heard the judge.
He got his fair trial.
His rights were observed.
Yeah, come on.
He's horrible.
I don't know that she was a saint.
So she deserved to be brutally murdered because she was an old woman no one cared about.
I'm not saying it doesn't look bad.
But we are talking about putting a fellow human being in prison for the rest of their life.
- [JURORS GROAN.]
- This is an incredible responsibility.
And I for one believe in this country.
And I believe in due process and fairness.
And in the interest of fairness, I would like to revisit a few things.
Don't be a dick.
- Hey, hold on.
- Thank you.
So, um the defense was clearly incompetent.
I mean, the prosecution took an entire day, and that 12-year-old who defended him took 30 minutes.
Because the guy's a fucking liar, and they had a U-Haul full of evidence.
But how do we know he definitely killed her? Hmm? How is doubt not reasonable here? She was robbed.
What about the fact that he painted the room with his DNA? The whole building heard everything, and they found her stuff with his bloody fingerprints right below her window.
All right, let's try this again.
I get it.
I'm the only one.
Hey, it's not like we're sentencing a man to life in prison just so we can enjoy the weekend.
[JURORS SIGH.]
5 grand.
It was 5 grand.
Hold on.
What? I think you should still go.
What? I'm not going on a cruise by myself.
Why not? It'll be fun.
Alone? Get some sun, play some blackjack, drink some cocktails.
You work so hard, you deserve it.
You know what? I do.
And you know what you deserve? You're gonna miss the boat.
I love you.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
Shelly? [SIGHS.]
[VIDEO GAME NOISES.]
[CALYPSO MUSIC.]
You're on the Murano Deck.
You'll want to remember that.
It's first class, so you'll have all your meals in the Palace Dining Room, including Sunday brunch with the captain.
- Is he nice? - Absolutely.
You should go up on deck when we leave the port.
That's the best part.
- Oh, um - Please.
It's my pleasure.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[POP.]
Ahem.
"Prosecutor Dion: Was there any activity on his phone? Ms.
Fuchs [PRONOUNCED "FUCKS".]
: Yes.
We found one Google search at 8:41 p.
m.
Prosecutor Dion: And what was the nature of that search? Ms.
Fuchs: Let me consult my notes.
'Where can I shoot myself and not get killed? K-I-L-T'.
" It's Fuchs [PRONOUNCED "FYOOKS".]
.
Ms.
Fuchs.
[ELEVATOR DINGS.]
Hello, there.
Uh, checking in for Romanoff.
We're gonna need a first name, darling.
Oh.
Of course.
Shelly.
- With a V? - Two F's.
Hmm.
Dimitri.
What is it? I can't seem to find her name.
It's because you're too vain to wear your glasses.
What the name? Shelly.
Two L's and two F's.
It's probably under my husband's name.
Michael.
I see.
By marriage, then.
Yes.
Where is he? Can't I still check in? Of course you can, dear.
I've got this, Dimitri.
He couldn't make it.
You'll have more fun without him.
[CHUCKLES.]
There are brochures in there for events, some fascinating lectures.
You can attend almost everything without your husband.
Oh, there is a breakout session on reparations from the Russian government.
But it's just for direct descendants.
Really? Okay.
Thank you so much.
Oh, wait.
Uh We'll see you at the Grand Duke's Ball.
Alexandra wrote to her husband, the Czar, in 1916.
"Dearest Nicky, Russia loves to feel the whip.
It's their nature tender love and the iron hand to punish and guide.
How I wish I could pour my will into your veins.
" And don't forget, they married for love.
[AUDIENCE CHUCKLES.]
You know the characters.
You've heard the stories of ruthless violence [WHISPER.]
Is this taken? bloodshed - [WHISPER.]
Excuse me.
- and cunning.
Shh.
Patricide, matricide, fratricide, infanticide.
Torture elevated to almost medical precision.
The saying goes, "The Volga runs red with the blood of the Romanovs.
" [MURMURING.]
Yet these very qualities are what allowed the Romanovs to endure as one of the longest reigning dynasties in history.
They resisted democracy.
They enforced feudalism until nearly the 20th century, They ruled with an almost pagan absolutism.
That means the king and queen had direct contact with God.
And then it ended, suddenly, traumatically.
That, too, is your heritage.
Some combination of the grandiose and the terrified.
BLONDIE: The tide is high But I'm moving on I'm gonna be your number 1 I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that Oh, no It's not the things you do that tease and hurt me bad But it's the way you do the things you do to me I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that - Sorry to bother you.
- Oh, no Are you saving this seat? No, I'm not.
The tide is high, but I'm moving on I'm gonna be your number 1 They're so efficient.
I think they cleaned my room while I was in the shower.
Well, this is a pretty demanding crowd.
Ivan, by the way.
Shelly.
Do you want a drink? I could use one after that.
After what? The lecture.
I saw you leave early.
You know, I like history.
I just don't think I like that history as much as some people do.
You married in, too.
Didn't you say your name was Ivan? Yeah, Ivan Novak.
My family's Polish.
I guess you can say that I'm "passing.
" - Who are your people? - Oh, I don't know, Scottish, Irish, whatever.
Who gives a shit? Exactly.
Well, I'm getting a drink.
Are you sure you won't join me? I'm gonna read.
Thanks, though.
Okay.
Well, then promise me that we can have a drink tonight, at the ball.
You know, with you and your husband.
Okay.
Every girl wants you to be her man But I'll wait, my dear, until it's my turn Hell of a way to spend a Saturday.
Thank you, sir.
All right, I'll see you Monday.
So you mad at me, too? I just don't see how you're still not convinced.
I just think some things don't add up.
Name one thing.
I feel like I want to go over there and take a look.
Is that crazy? Where? We don't know what that bar is like.
It sounds like he never paid his tab.
Maybe the bartender was out to get him.
And the neighbors, could they really hear everything? What if you get caught? Am I breaking any laws? I have no idea.
Do you want to come? I mean, unless you have somewhere to be.
I know you're usually in a rush to get out of here.
No.
I'm kind of on my own this weekend.
Me, too.
Meet me back here in an hour? [DOORBELL CHIMES.]
Jesus, you've just cleaned it.
Uh, Andreas, I didn't order anything.
No, Madame.
Please.
Oh, wow.
Thank you.
Until this evening.
Ohh.
So this is where it happened.
Yep.
We should go in.
It's too dangerous.
I'll go.
Wait.
Text me if anybody comes.
Brilliant.
[TYPING.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
Go.
Go, go, go, go, go! [TIRES SCREECH.]
- What happened? - Someone came out.
I'm pretty sure it was that witness, the old guy.
- Mr.
Clarence? - Yeah.
He came down the steps with his garbage.
Just keep going.
Got it.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[TIRES SCREECH.]
- Where now? - I don't know.
Where are we? I don't know.
Hold on.
Look.
Bingo.
[LAUGHS.]
[WALTZ PLAYS.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Oh, good evening, dear.
You look absolutely marvelous.
Oh, thank you.
This is so impressive.
You're at Table 6.
You'd better be careful.
This lot's not known for its scruples with unaccompanied women.
Dimitri, really.
Enough.
What's happening? ANNOUNCER: What a beautiful summer we're having on the Black Sea.
Such delights we've prepared for your aristocratic pleasure.
[VIOLIN PLAYS.]
[APPLAUSE.]
["GREEN EYES" PLAYS.]
[CLAPPING IN RHYTHM.]
[WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE.]
[CHEERING.]
Sabrage! [TCHAIKOVSKY'S "NUTCRACKER THEME" PLAYS.]
Hi.
I'm Shelly.
Nicholas Romanov, with a V.
- And - This is my wife.
I'm Joan.
We're from Sarasota.
And I'm Olga Romanov-Carlson.
- This is Albert.
- Al.
Uh, these are very good seats.
They cost twice as much as last year.
And how are you related? Uh, my husband.
I see.
Do you have children? Uh, I don't.
Oh.
You must.
Unless it's too late.
The society will disappear in a generation.
What a tragedy that'll be.
Hi.
You look incredible.
Oh, thanks.
Uh, you look nice, too.
I owe you a drink.
Where's your husband Michael? Well, he's actually at jury duty.
On the boat? No.
Uh, he couldn't get out of it.
Wow.
Do you mind? Where's your wife? Horse show.
Not on the boat.
She didn't think she would make it to the finals, but she did.
Oh, you must be very proud.
Uh, how long have you been married? ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen of the royal family, I present to you the Grand Duke! We will now be serving the most sumptuous of feasts to my esteemed guests.
And in exactly 35 minutes, I will provide entertainment fit for a czar! ["GREEN EYES" PLAYS.]
Look at Mount Rushmore over here.
Is that what your in-laws look like? Exactly.
Want to wait around for them to fuck that horse? [CLAPPING IN RHYTHM.]
Could I have a cosmo? Nonsense.
You'll have vodka, and you'll have it with me.
- Nazdorovya.
- Nazdorovya.
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
Sir, you have to stop doing that.
Again.
Uh, I think we're gonna take these to go.
Son, I hope you appreciate that bosom.
Do you know him? [FANFARE PLAYS.]
In the tradition of the Russian Court, and in the interest of our familial bond, we present the Czar, Czarina, Czarevich, Olga, Tatiana, Maria, and Anastasia Romanov! [APPLAUSE AND CHEERING.]
[PROCESSIONAL MUSIC.]
Ah, but danger lurks.
The mystic, the madman, the monstrous monk himself has come to destroy their happiness.
Rasputin! [BOOING.]
[HISSING.]
[PROCESSIONAL MUSIC.]
[BOOING AND HISSING CONTINUE.]
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.]
[KHACHATURIAN'S "SABRE DANCE" PLAYS.]
[CHEERING.]
This looks like it could go on for a while.
I think I've had enough.
Ah.
Ciao, baby.
["SABRE DANCE" CONTINUES.]
[HARD ROCK PLAYS.]
So? What did he say? He said it's not usually this crowded.
So I guess that kind of kills your alternative theory of the case.
You disappointed? No.
I don't mind being thorough.
No, I took care of it.
Shut up.
[SONG ON JUKEBOX ENDS.]
[COIN CLATTERS.]
Come on.
COWBOY JUNKIES: Anyone who's ever had a heart Wouldn't turn around and break it And anyone who's ever played a part Wouldn't turn around and hate it Sweet Jane Sweet Jane Ah, sweet, sweet Jane You're waiting for Jimmy down in the alley Waiting there for him to come back home Waiting down on the corner And thinking of ways to get back home Sweet Jane Sweet Jane Ah, sweet, sweet Jane Anyone who's ever had a dream Anyone who's ever played a part Anyone who's ever been lonely And anyone who's ever split apart I'm driving, buddy.
This is my car.
No, you're not.
Heavenly wine and roses Seem to whisper to me when you smile I want you.
I know.
Heavenly wine and roses Seem to whisper to me when you smile I mean, I can't blame her, 'cause her whole life, people hear the name, and they do get excited.
And it's not just the way she was raised.
It's constantly being I don't know.
I'm so drunk.
Validated.
That's a therapist word.
I thought we were there to work on our problems.
Then I wondered if we were there for his problem.
And now I realize that I'm there for my problem.
Which might be him.
Yeah.
I hope the stars are giving us points for trying because you know what? I'm a basically happy person.
I mean, as much as anybody could be.
Me, too.
I thought this would just be an excuse to get away for a bit.
I didn't think there was a chance that there would be anything actually good about it.
You're freezing.
Let's go inside.
Where are we? Get out.
I don't even know you.
Yeah? You came all the way out to the woods with me.
What do you think? I think I walked right into your trap.
Do you want to make a break for it? Stop it.
- Let go.
- Or what? No one can hear you.
No.
Stop it.
Really? [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[VIOLIN PLAYS.]
Once upon a time there was a tavern Where we used to raise a glass or two Remember how we laughed away the hours And think of all the great things we would do Those were the days, my friend We thought they'd never end We'd sing and dance forever and a day We'd live the life we choose We'd fight and never lose For we were young and sure to have our way La la la la la la La la la la la la La la la la La la la la la la La la la la la la La la la li li li [ELEVATOR DINGS.]
[WOMAN LAUGHING.]
Wrong room.
[IVAN CHUCKLES.]
What's wrong? I'm not gonna answer that.
He's a lucky man.
[SIGHS.]
I can't believe the way you dance.
I was a professional.
Pittsburgh Ballet Company.
- You're a ballerina? - Mm-hmm.
That makes sense.
Pittsburgh is a bit of a surprise, but I should have known it from the accent, I guess.
It's a great company, and it often leads to New York.
But then I broke my ankle, and I had to figure out what to do, and I got married.
So that's your job.
- Sounds pretty good.
- Mm.
I try to keep busy.
I definitely didn't want to get out of jury duty.
Thought it would kill a couple of weeks.
And you love murder.
Yeah.
I mean, it should definitely be illegal.
I mean, that's just a part of civilization.
But sometimes you wonder.
I mean if you want something and someone's in your way how hard can it be? I don't think it's hard at all.
Just hard to get away with it.
Only because people are so dumb.
So how would you do it? Well, I mean, if I was just into killing, I'd pick a complete random stranger.
Untraceable.
That's a rare breed.
Okay.
What about all the rest? You have to make it look like an accident.
And you can't do all that stupid shit when you're planning it, like writing stuff down, trying to make money off it, jacking off afterwards 'cause you're excited.
People just want to get caught.
So what's stopping you? No motive.
I mean, I have a nice life.
And I still get a little taste of freedom every now and then.
Good morning.
This is so beautiful.
Yeah.
I love it here.
I could stay here forever.
That's a really good idea.
I should get home.
My husband's coming back soon.
We should clean up.
What do you mean? Ashtrays, sheets, coffeepot.
Right.
I really have to go.
See you tomorrow? Deliberation's at 9:00.
You can text me.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
[LINE RINGING.]
[RING.]
[RING.]
RECORDED VOICE: Hello.
This is Michael.
I can't come [DOOR OPENS.]
So after our extensive revisiting of the evidence, I think we're ready to deliver the verdict, following a vote.
Any objections, Michael? I was just wondering if we could look at the crime scene photos.
- [GROANING.]
- Are you serious, man? I'd like to say something.
I am so proud of this group, and I don't think that anyone ever got more consideration than this defendant.
We've been thorough.
We debated what was basically undebatable.
And now it's time to bring this to a close and move on with our lives, comfortable in our resolution that we were here to serve justice and that we were all enriched by this experience as citizens and as people.
[CALYPSO MUSIC.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Welcome home.
Hi.
I really missed you.
I missed you, too.
How was it? Were you sequestered? I tried to call you.
No.
Uh, we were deliberating, but it's over now.
And? Guilty.
I got you something.
Wow.
I love it.
And I just have to show you some of this shit.
It was crazy.
That was the room.
And look at that guy's monocle.
[SNICKERS.]
That is a horse on a boat.
Wow.
Oh.
And they had a little people version of the royal family.
- They really used to do that.
- Yeah, I read that somewhere.
And the little Rasputin, he hooked up with an old lady across the hall.
And those are Cossack dancers.
Wow.
[LINE RINGING.]
RECORDED VOICE: This is Michelle.
Leave a message.
[BEEP.]
Hi.
It's Michael.
Are you coming in? We got a session.
Call me.
So, was this time apart constructive? I mean, I can only speak for me, but yeah.
I saw all those people there, and it opened my eyes about Michael.
Tell that to Michael.
Michael, there are so many people out there with your background, and I guess they're proud, but they're really fucked up.
I think I finally understand why you are the way you are, and that it's not your fault.
Michael? I've been thinking, too.
I never thought it was possible for someone to really know me.
You meet someone, and you want to have that feeling and that passion.
And you'll risk everything to be with them.
I don't want to live without that.
I'd rather die.
Forget about everything else.
I know what's important now.
[SOBBING.]
[SNIFFLES.]
[BEEP.]
[LINE RINGING.]
It's Michelle.
Leave a message.
- [BEEP.]
- Fuck.
[LINE RINGING.]
It's Michelle.
Leave a message.
[TRUCK HORN HONKS.]
[LINE RINGING.]
MICHELLE: Hello.
Hi.
I'm so happy you picked up.
You can't keep calling me like this.
Well, if you answered, I wouldn't have to keep calling.
[MAN'S VOICE ON TV.]
[TV MUTED.]
There's a reason for that.
I can't stop thinking about you.
I have to see you.
That's not possible.
I didn't even get to say goodbye to you.
You just blew out of the parking lot.
I just want to see you for a second.
Where are you? I'm at the 7-Eleven by the courthouse.
Get in.
- [ENGINE STARTS.]
- No.
- [ENGINE OFF.]
- No.
You look great.
What do you want? What do you think I want? Stop.
Why? Michael, I'm married.
You're married.
We had a great time together, and now we go our separate ways.
That's the way it works.
Says who? Oh.
You've never done this before, have you? No.
But isn't that a good thing? I don't know how to explain it to you, but I'm happy.
Then why did you do that? Because it was fun.
And that's real.
But my husband was married when I met him.
I've been the homewrecker.
Doesn't feel good.
I don't plan on doing it again.
And look at you.
You have a life.
You're happy.
You could be, now that you let off some steam.
I'm not happy.
I told you that.
I've never been happier than I was last weekend.
And I know you felt that, too.
I don't know what to tell you but I'm not getting divorced.
I'm certainly not gonna break up your marriage.
What if I were single? Goodbye, Michael.
KENDRICK LAMAR: I got, I got, I got, I got Loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA Cocaine quarter piece, got war and peace inside my DNA I was born like this, since one like this Immaculate conception I don't contemplate, I meditate Then off your fucking head This that put the kids to bed This that I got, I got, I got, I got Loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA I know murder, conviction, burners, boosters Burglars, ballers, dead, redemption Scholars, fathers dead with kids And I wish I was dead, forgiveness Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Soldier's DNA, born inside the beast My expertise checked out in second grade And I'm gonna shine like I'm supposed to Antisocial, extrovert And pessimists never struck my nerve And that's a riff, gonna plead his case The reason my power's here on earth Salute the truth and the prophecy Where were you? You were gone for so long.
I was just watching TV.
Okay.
You know what we should do tomorrow? We should go for a hike.
Really? Yeah.
But we should go early like we used to.
Oh, I'd love that.
Oh, my God, what a beautiful tree.
I bet you could make a great table out of it.
Guess you'd have to cut it down.
Yeah, probably.
You doing okay? Yeah.
I'm so glad we did this.
Isn't it great? I don't know why we don't do it more often.
It gets a little harder after this, but we can go back if you want.
- No, I want to go to the top.
- Good.
Me, too.
- Want - Ah.
[GRUNTS.]
Ah.
Wow.
Aah! Fuck! [GRUNTS.]
What the fuck, you fucker! You pushed me! No.
No, I didn't.
You fell! You fucking asshole! What the fuck were you thinking? I don't know, I don't know! I slipped! Don't move! I'll come and help you! [GRUNTS.]
Honey! Honey, be careful! Ow.
Oh [GROANING.]
What the fuck! [GROANING.]
Okay.
Okay.
[SOBBING.]
I'm okay.
- Okay.
- Honey! - Honey.
- Okay.
Honey? Shelly, oh, my God.
Oh, good, you're okay.
Just stay away! Don't you dare come near me! I don't know what happened.
You have to believe me.
I know exactly what happened.
Honey! Shelly! Shelly! Honey? - Honey, listen to me.
- [CAR ALARM CHIRPS.]
Wait.
Wait.
Don't you come near me.
I don't know what you think.
You know what I think? I think you tried to fucking kill me.
I didn't.
I don't know what I was doing.
I've been crazy.
I'm sorry.
You tried to fucking kill me! I can't believe it took that to make me realize that this is over, but it is over! - Shh.
- Stop.
Aah! Oh! Ohh! [COUGHING AND WAILING.]
Aah! Aah! Aah! God! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Ohh! Aah! Oh, Shelly.
CAKE: At first I was afraid, I was petrified I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side But then I spent so many nights Just thinkin' how you done me wrong I grew strong I learned how to get along And so you're back from outer space I just walked in to find you here Without that look upon your face I should have changed my fucking lock I would have made you leave your key If I'd have known for just one second You'd be back to bother me Oh, now, go Walk out the door Just turn around Now you're not welcome anymore Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire? Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh, not I I will survive, yeah As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give I will survive I will survive Yeah, yeah, uh-huh [ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYING.]
[ROCK MUSIC.]
TOM PETTY: We got something, we both know it We don't talk too much about it Ain't no real big secret All the same, somehow we get around it Listen It don't really matter to me, babe You believe what you want to believe You see, you don't have to live like a refugee THE HEARTBREAKERS: Don't have to live like a refugee No! [MUSIC FADES.]
SHELLY: I was watching this movie about these people falling in love.
The guy said something like, "We have so much in common.
" Then later in the movie, they get in a fight, and the girl says, "Opposites attract.
" And I mean, I don't know.
Which one is it? Well, I suppose both are true.
Still, those are just lines from a movie.
Sometimes I just think we're too different.
Is that the way it's supposed to be, or are we supposed to like doing the same things? Michael? I think she should do what she wants to do.
I do.
But it's just that you don't want to do anything.
I mean, you don't like dancing, you don't want to go to my family's lake house, uh, or go for a hike or to the movies or to see friends.
Well, you don't understand because you work at home, and I have to go into that office every day.
But isn't that more reason to go out and have fun? I'm never at home.
I don't care what we do.
I would do anything you want.
But you do care because you make all the decisions what I do with my spare time, how many hours I work, - how much I get paid.
- The business is both of ours.
Okay, but we both know that you're the boss and I'm the employee.
- Why do you always say that? - Because it's true.
Shelly, we try not to say people always say anything.
Right? Michael? I'm just curious.
What do you enjoy? I like lots of things.
I can't read his mind.
I surprised him with this vacation because he joined this society to learn more about his family history, and they sent us these brochures, and I distinctly heard him say, "That looks cool.
" It does look cool.
Michael, why don't you tell Shelly something you'd like to do? Um You know what? You're right.
I can't think of anything.
I'll do whatever you want.
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS.]
I know she's expensive.
I'm not trying to waste it.
- Do you have to do that right now? - Don't.
I deserve this.
[CAR KEY BEEPS.]
[CAR ENGINE STARTS.]
[CAR ALARM HONKS.]
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Yeah? Thanks.
Hey, I got Esther to cover your SAT session tomorrow.
Why? I'm not leaving till Friday.
The schedule says you have jury duty.
Fuck.
My dad says you, uh, just have to convince them you're a racist to get out of it.
Well, I'll just tell them the truth.
There is no justice.
Dumb shit or hard on? He's got a 4.
4 from St.
Pat's, so probably both.
Michael Romanoff.
Great to meet you, Andrew.
Ahem.
I like to start with you telling me in your own words what your goals are, your dreams, your interests.
I need a 1600.
I want to go to Harvard.
What would you say if I told you there might be other options that are better for you? I would say I want my money back because you have a guaranteed satisfaction policy.
Okay.
So can you tell me why you want to go to Harvard? [SIGHS.]
Uh, so I can do whatever I want instead of staying here forever and getting a shitty job and being a loser.
Uh-huh.
Because people who stay here are losers.
Well [CHUCKLES.]
I don't know.
You help people get into Harvard.
It's pretty cool.
I can give you your money back right now because wanting something and getting it are two very different things.
Not if you go to Harvard.
Keep saying "Harvard," Andrew, is not gonna make it happen.
You have to accept the reality and try to be happy with whatever you get.
- Yale? - You're not listening, Andrew.
The big secret is nobody's happy.
I just came here for test prep.
Well, we're gonna find a good second, maybe third tier school for you where you can party and enjoy the next four years, 'cause they're gonna be the best ones of your life.
That's a guarantee.
[BEEPING.]
[VIDEO GAME NOISES.]
[YAWNING.]
Oh, can you go online and stop the Sunday paper? I don't want it sitting in the driveway while we're gone.
Can we just stop it forever? I mean, we just recycle it.
I like the crosswords.
You can do it online.
It's not the same.
But you know what? Yeah, go ahead.
Guess we're going to bed now.
You can still play your game.
[VIDEO GAME NOISES.]
[SIGHS.]
This is taking forever.
[RATTLING.]
No, thank you.
What's that game? Excuse me? Are those fish? Uh, baby pandas.
They're trapped in bubbles, and you have to bounce these bubbles into those bubbles to free them.
- Mm-hmm.
- And if you don't free all of them, the mama cries.
And what if you do? Then you go on to the next level.
It's a little bit different, usually harder.
[SNICKERING.]
You should explain that to the judge.
They'll never take you.
[SNICKERING.]
I'm Darryl.
Michael.
Yeah.
How about her? Are you kidding me? Honey, I really tried.
You know we leave on Friday.
I don't know what to tell you.
They said it would be quick.
They're going to have a murder trial in two days? Shelly, it's not the way it is on TV, okay? That's what they said.
[SIGHS.]
I don't think I can get our money back.
Look, it's the law.
There's nothing I can do.
And moreover, it's my civic duty.
Okay.
I'll try to change the flights to the redeye.
WOMAN: Raised in poverty, Sarah Elkins lived most of her 76 years on a fixed income.
Her husband Larry left her an apartment building, hoping it would take care of her.
Unfortunately, her desire to give a home to a troubled young man brought death to her doorstep.
April 19th was warmer than usual.
Kurt Davis, the defendant, went to his local bar, the Irish Rose, to enjoy six shots of Old Crow and four bottles of Budweiser.
Little did Sarah know that, around 8:30 that night, he would break down her door, crush her skull with a table lamp, and shoot her three times point blank before shooting himself in the thigh, claiming they had been, quote, jumped by two spics, end quote.
Well, you could have been out in the street, they were yelling so loud, and I mean cussing.
Was this the only interaction you witnessed? No.
I remember once Mrs.
Elkins complained to him and left him a note.
And then I saw that he left her a note.
Is this the note you saw? Yes.
Can you read it? "Fuck you, bitch.
My dog does what my dog does.
" [CHUCKLES.]
Please tell your client he's not helping himself.
Hey, there.
Hello.
I left mine in the car.
Do you mind, uh These are good.
I guess we're the only two smokers in there.
You know, I know we're not supposed to talk about it, but it's fascinating, isn't it? It is.
Have you done this before? No.
First time.
But I've always wanted to.
Why? I suppose I have this nightmare that I'll get caught for something and it'll be good karma.
Guilty conscience.
I guess.
And I just love murder.
You do? Everybody loves true crime.
I don't know.
My whole family was murdered, so I guess it always seems a little close to home.
Wait.
Your family? Well, how did they allow you on the jury? Oh, it was a while ago.
That's horrible.
How? Bolsheviks.
[CHUCKLING.]
- Really? - You're not even American.
How'd you get on the jury? I'll see you inside.
As the diagram indicates, the victim suffered three bullet wounds and a severe fracture to the skull, resulting in a brain contusion and eventually fatal hemorrhage.
The position of the body on the floor, along with the bullet exit wounds, indicates that the victim had already collapsed prior to being shot.
Despite the initial head injury and blood loss from additional bullet wounds, [VOICE FADING.]
the autopsy concluded that the cranial bullet wound was in fact the cause of death.
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
Holy shit.
Yeah.
What a bloodbath.
I think this one is open and shut.
You think so? Mm.
I got to get home.
Oh.
Me, too.
- [CAR ALARM BEEPS.]
- Have a good night.
You, too.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
[CAR ALARM BEEPS.]
Okay, so you can write off Borderlands and Assassin's Creed, but these other ones, I don't know, it's too much.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[ROCK PLAYING ON SOUND SYSTEM.]
Hello.
How was it? I'm not allowed to talk about it.
I thought you weren't gonna smoke in the house.
Oh.
Well, we have a deal.
I do his taxes, he gets me high.
Ah.
Cool.
Want some? Uh, no.
I'm beat.
Mm.
[STRAINED VOICE.]
We have a pizza coming.
I'll bet you do.
[SNICKERING.]
SHELLY: Oh.
Michael.
They let me change the flight tomorrow, so don't worry.
Great.
So, really, uh, who has not been in the defendant's position? Wrongfully accused, trying to prove something didn't happen.
It's like trying to show what's not there.
The defense rests? If we can please clear the courtroom so I can instruct the jury.
That's it? DARRYL: It's 11:00.
According to the judge, we can take a vote, submit our verdict, and then begin sentencing, and hopefully be out of here by dinner.
Agreed.
He's guilty as fuck.
Let's vote.
So, by a show of hands, how many people believe that Mr.
Kurt Davis is guilty of murder in the first degree? Michael? W we're voting now.
It seems really fast.
You heard the judge.
He got his fair trial.
His rights were observed.
Yeah, come on.
He's horrible.
I don't know that she was a saint.
So she deserved to be brutally murdered because she was an old woman no one cared about.
I'm not saying it doesn't look bad.
But we are talking about putting a fellow human being in prison for the rest of their life.
- [JURORS GROAN.]
- This is an incredible responsibility.
And I for one believe in this country.
And I believe in due process and fairness.
And in the interest of fairness, I would like to revisit a few things.
Don't be a dick.
- Hey, hold on.
- Thank you.
So, um the defense was clearly incompetent.
I mean, the prosecution took an entire day, and that 12-year-old who defended him took 30 minutes.
Because the guy's a fucking liar, and they had a U-Haul full of evidence.
But how do we know he definitely killed her? Hmm? How is doubt not reasonable here? She was robbed.
What about the fact that he painted the room with his DNA? The whole building heard everything, and they found her stuff with his bloody fingerprints right below her window.
All right, let's try this again.
I get it.
I'm the only one.
Hey, it's not like we're sentencing a man to life in prison just so we can enjoy the weekend.
[JURORS SIGH.]
5 grand.
It was 5 grand.
Hold on.
What? I think you should still go.
What? I'm not going on a cruise by myself.
Why not? It'll be fun.
Alone? Get some sun, play some blackjack, drink some cocktails.
You work so hard, you deserve it.
You know what? I do.
And you know what you deserve? You're gonna miss the boat.
I love you.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
Shelly? [SIGHS.]
[VIDEO GAME NOISES.]
[CALYPSO MUSIC.]
You're on the Murano Deck.
You'll want to remember that.
It's first class, so you'll have all your meals in the Palace Dining Room, including Sunday brunch with the captain.
- Is he nice? - Absolutely.
You should go up on deck when we leave the port.
That's the best part.
- Oh, um - Please.
It's my pleasure.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[POP.]
Ahem.
"Prosecutor Dion: Was there any activity on his phone? Ms.
Fuchs [PRONOUNCED "FUCKS".]
: Yes.
We found one Google search at 8:41 p.
m.
Prosecutor Dion: And what was the nature of that search? Ms.
Fuchs: Let me consult my notes.
'Where can I shoot myself and not get killed? K-I-L-T'.
" It's Fuchs [PRONOUNCED "FYOOKS".]
.
Ms.
Fuchs.
[ELEVATOR DINGS.]
Hello, there.
Uh, checking in for Romanoff.
We're gonna need a first name, darling.
Oh.
Of course.
Shelly.
- With a V? - Two F's.
Hmm.
Dimitri.
What is it? I can't seem to find her name.
It's because you're too vain to wear your glasses.
What the name? Shelly.
Two L's and two F's.
It's probably under my husband's name.
Michael.
I see.
By marriage, then.
Yes.
Where is he? Can't I still check in? Of course you can, dear.
I've got this, Dimitri.
He couldn't make it.
You'll have more fun without him.
[CHUCKLES.]
There are brochures in there for events, some fascinating lectures.
You can attend almost everything without your husband.
Oh, there is a breakout session on reparations from the Russian government.
But it's just for direct descendants.
Really? Okay.
Thank you so much.
Oh, wait.
Uh We'll see you at the Grand Duke's Ball.
Alexandra wrote to her husband, the Czar, in 1916.
"Dearest Nicky, Russia loves to feel the whip.
It's their nature tender love and the iron hand to punish and guide.
How I wish I could pour my will into your veins.
" And don't forget, they married for love.
[AUDIENCE CHUCKLES.]
You know the characters.
You've heard the stories of ruthless violence [WHISPER.]
Is this taken? bloodshed - [WHISPER.]
Excuse me.
- and cunning.
Shh.
Patricide, matricide, fratricide, infanticide.
Torture elevated to almost medical precision.
The saying goes, "The Volga runs red with the blood of the Romanovs.
" [MURMURING.]
Yet these very qualities are what allowed the Romanovs to endure as one of the longest reigning dynasties in history.
They resisted democracy.
They enforced feudalism until nearly the 20th century, They ruled with an almost pagan absolutism.
That means the king and queen had direct contact with God.
And then it ended, suddenly, traumatically.
That, too, is your heritage.
Some combination of the grandiose and the terrified.
BLONDIE: The tide is high But I'm moving on I'm gonna be your number 1 I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that Oh, no It's not the things you do that tease and hurt me bad But it's the way you do the things you do to me I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that - Sorry to bother you.
- Oh, no Are you saving this seat? No, I'm not.
The tide is high, but I'm moving on I'm gonna be your number 1 They're so efficient.
I think they cleaned my room while I was in the shower.
Well, this is a pretty demanding crowd.
Ivan, by the way.
Shelly.
Do you want a drink? I could use one after that.
After what? The lecture.
I saw you leave early.
You know, I like history.
I just don't think I like that history as much as some people do.
You married in, too.
Didn't you say your name was Ivan? Yeah, Ivan Novak.
My family's Polish.
I guess you can say that I'm "passing.
" - Who are your people? - Oh, I don't know, Scottish, Irish, whatever.
Who gives a shit? Exactly.
Well, I'm getting a drink.
Are you sure you won't join me? I'm gonna read.
Thanks, though.
Okay.
Well, then promise me that we can have a drink tonight, at the ball.
You know, with you and your husband.
Okay.
Every girl wants you to be her man But I'll wait, my dear, until it's my turn Hell of a way to spend a Saturday.
Thank you, sir.
All right, I'll see you Monday.
So you mad at me, too? I just don't see how you're still not convinced.
I just think some things don't add up.
Name one thing.
I feel like I want to go over there and take a look.
Is that crazy? Where? We don't know what that bar is like.
It sounds like he never paid his tab.
Maybe the bartender was out to get him.
And the neighbors, could they really hear everything? What if you get caught? Am I breaking any laws? I have no idea.
Do you want to come? I mean, unless you have somewhere to be.
I know you're usually in a rush to get out of here.
No.
I'm kind of on my own this weekend.
Me, too.
Meet me back here in an hour? [DOORBELL CHIMES.]
Jesus, you've just cleaned it.
Uh, Andreas, I didn't order anything.
No, Madame.
Please.
Oh, wow.
Thank you.
Until this evening.
Ohh.
So this is where it happened.
Yep.
We should go in.
It's too dangerous.
I'll go.
Wait.
Text me if anybody comes.
Brilliant.
[TYPING.]
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
Go.
Go, go, go, go, go! [TIRES SCREECH.]
- What happened? - Someone came out.
I'm pretty sure it was that witness, the old guy.
- Mr.
Clarence? - Yeah.
He came down the steps with his garbage.
Just keep going.
Got it.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[TIRES SCREECH.]
- Where now? - I don't know.
Where are we? I don't know.
Hold on.
Look.
Bingo.
[LAUGHS.]
[WALTZ PLAYS.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Oh, good evening, dear.
You look absolutely marvelous.
Oh, thank you.
This is so impressive.
You're at Table 6.
You'd better be careful.
This lot's not known for its scruples with unaccompanied women.
Dimitri, really.
Enough.
What's happening? ANNOUNCER: What a beautiful summer we're having on the Black Sea.
Such delights we've prepared for your aristocratic pleasure.
[VIOLIN PLAYS.]
[APPLAUSE.]
["GREEN EYES" PLAYS.]
[CLAPPING IN RHYTHM.]
[WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE.]
[CHEERING.]
Sabrage! [TCHAIKOVSKY'S "NUTCRACKER THEME" PLAYS.]
Hi.
I'm Shelly.
Nicholas Romanov, with a V.
- And - This is my wife.
I'm Joan.
We're from Sarasota.
And I'm Olga Romanov-Carlson.
- This is Albert.
- Al.
Uh, these are very good seats.
They cost twice as much as last year.
And how are you related? Uh, my husband.
I see.
Do you have children? Uh, I don't.
Oh.
You must.
Unless it's too late.
The society will disappear in a generation.
What a tragedy that'll be.
Hi.
You look incredible.
Oh, thanks.
Uh, you look nice, too.
I owe you a drink.
Where's your husband Michael? Well, he's actually at jury duty.
On the boat? No.
Uh, he couldn't get out of it.
Wow.
Do you mind? Where's your wife? Horse show.
Not on the boat.
She didn't think she would make it to the finals, but she did.
Oh, you must be very proud.
Uh, how long have you been married? ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen of the royal family, I present to you the Grand Duke! We will now be serving the most sumptuous of feasts to my esteemed guests.
And in exactly 35 minutes, I will provide entertainment fit for a czar! ["GREEN EYES" PLAYS.]
Look at Mount Rushmore over here.
Is that what your in-laws look like? Exactly.
Want to wait around for them to fuck that horse? [CLAPPING IN RHYTHM.]
Could I have a cosmo? Nonsense.
You'll have vodka, and you'll have it with me.
- Nazdorovya.
- Nazdorovya.
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
Sir, you have to stop doing that.
Again.
Uh, I think we're gonna take these to go.
Son, I hope you appreciate that bosom.
Do you know him? [FANFARE PLAYS.]
In the tradition of the Russian Court, and in the interest of our familial bond, we present the Czar, Czarina, Czarevich, Olga, Tatiana, Maria, and Anastasia Romanov! [APPLAUSE AND CHEERING.]
[PROCESSIONAL MUSIC.]
Ah, but danger lurks.
The mystic, the madman, the monstrous monk himself has come to destroy their happiness.
Rasputin! [BOOING.]
[HISSING.]
[PROCESSIONAL MUSIC.]
[BOOING AND HISSING CONTINUE.]
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.]
[KHACHATURIAN'S "SABRE DANCE" PLAYS.]
[CHEERING.]
This looks like it could go on for a while.
I think I've had enough.
Ah.
Ciao, baby.
["SABRE DANCE" CONTINUES.]
[HARD ROCK PLAYS.]
So? What did he say? He said it's not usually this crowded.
So I guess that kind of kills your alternative theory of the case.
You disappointed? No.
I don't mind being thorough.
No, I took care of it.
Shut up.
[SONG ON JUKEBOX ENDS.]
[COIN CLATTERS.]
Come on.
COWBOY JUNKIES: Anyone who's ever had a heart Wouldn't turn around and break it And anyone who's ever played a part Wouldn't turn around and hate it Sweet Jane Sweet Jane Ah, sweet, sweet Jane You're waiting for Jimmy down in the alley Waiting there for him to come back home Waiting down on the corner And thinking of ways to get back home Sweet Jane Sweet Jane Ah, sweet, sweet Jane Anyone who's ever had a dream Anyone who's ever played a part Anyone who's ever been lonely And anyone who's ever split apart I'm driving, buddy.
This is my car.
No, you're not.
Heavenly wine and roses Seem to whisper to me when you smile I want you.
I know.
Heavenly wine and roses Seem to whisper to me when you smile I mean, I can't blame her, 'cause her whole life, people hear the name, and they do get excited.
And it's not just the way she was raised.
It's constantly being I don't know.
I'm so drunk.
Validated.
That's a therapist word.
I thought we were there to work on our problems.
Then I wondered if we were there for his problem.
And now I realize that I'm there for my problem.
Which might be him.
Yeah.
I hope the stars are giving us points for trying because you know what? I'm a basically happy person.
I mean, as much as anybody could be.
Me, too.
I thought this would just be an excuse to get away for a bit.
I didn't think there was a chance that there would be anything actually good about it.
You're freezing.
Let's go inside.
Where are we? Get out.
I don't even know you.
Yeah? You came all the way out to the woods with me.
What do you think? I think I walked right into your trap.
Do you want to make a break for it? Stop it.
- Let go.
- Or what? No one can hear you.
No.
Stop it.
Really? [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[VIOLIN PLAYS.]
Once upon a time there was a tavern Where we used to raise a glass or two Remember how we laughed away the hours And think of all the great things we would do Those were the days, my friend We thought they'd never end We'd sing and dance forever and a day We'd live the life we choose We'd fight and never lose For we were young and sure to have our way La la la la la la La la la la la la La la la la La la la la la la La la la la la la La la la li li li [ELEVATOR DINGS.]
[WOMAN LAUGHING.]
Wrong room.
[IVAN CHUCKLES.]
What's wrong? I'm not gonna answer that.
He's a lucky man.
[SIGHS.]
I can't believe the way you dance.
I was a professional.
Pittsburgh Ballet Company.
- You're a ballerina? - Mm-hmm.
That makes sense.
Pittsburgh is a bit of a surprise, but I should have known it from the accent, I guess.
It's a great company, and it often leads to New York.
But then I broke my ankle, and I had to figure out what to do, and I got married.
So that's your job.
- Sounds pretty good.
- Mm.
I try to keep busy.
I definitely didn't want to get out of jury duty.
Thought it would kill a couple of weeks.
And you love murder.
Yeah.
I mean, it should definitely be illegal.
I mean, that's just a part of civilization.
But sometimes you wonder.
I mean if you want something and someone's in your way how hard can it be? I don't think it's hard at all.
Just hard to get away with it.
Only because people are so dumb.
So how would you do it? Well, I mean, if I was just into killing, I'd pick a complete random stranger.
Untraceable.
That's a rare breed.
Okay.
What about all the rest? You have to make it look like an accident.
And you can't do all that stupid shit when you're planning it, like writing stuff down, trying to make money off it, jacking off afterwards 'cause you're excited.
People just want to get caught.
So what's stopping you? No motive.
I mean, I have a nice life.
And I still get a little taste of freedom every now and then.
Good morning.
This is so beautiful.
Yeah.
I love it here.
I could stay here forever.
That's a really good idea.
I should get home.
My husband's coming back soon.
We should clean up.
What do you mean? Ashtrays, sheets, coffeepot.
Right.
I really have to go.
See you tomorrow? Deliberation's at 9:00.
You can text me.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
[LINE RINGING.]
[RING.]
[RING.]
RECORDED VOICE: Hello.
This is Michael.
I can't come [DOOR OPENS.]
So after our extensive revisiting of the evidence, I think we're ready to deliver the verdict, following a vote.
Any objections, Michael? I was just wondering if we could look at the crime scene photos.
- [GROANING.]
- Are you serious, man? I'd like to say something.
I am so proud of this group, and I don't think that anyone ever got more consideration than this defendant.
We've been thorough.
We debated what was basically undebatable.
And now it's time to bring this to a close and move on with our lives, comfortable in our resolution that we were here to serve justice and that we were all enriched by this experience as citizens and as people.
[CALYPSO MUSIC.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Welcome home.
Hi.
I really missed you.
I missed you, too.
How was it? Were you sequestered? I tried to call you.
No.
Uh, we were deliberating, but it's over now.
And? Guilty.
I got you something.
Wow.
I love it.
And I just have to show you some of this shit.
It was crazy.
That was the room.
And look at that guy's monocle.
[SNICKERS.]
That is a horse on a boat.
Wow.
Oh.
And they had a little people version of the royal family.
- They really used to do that.
- Yeah, I read that somewhere.
And the little Rasputin, he hooked up with an old lady across the hall.
And those are Cossack dancers.
Wow.
[LINE RINGING.]
RECORDED VOICE: This is Michelle.
Leave a message.
[BEEP.]
Hi.
It's Michael.
Are you coming in? We got a session.
Call me.
So, was this time apart constructive? I mean, I can only speak for me, but yeah.
I saw all those people there, and it opened my eyes about Michael.
Tell that to Michael.
Michael, there are so many people out there with your background, and I guess they're proud, but they're really fucked up.
I think I finally understand why you are the way you are, and that it's not your fault.
Michael? I've been thinking, too.
I never thought it was possible for someone to really know me.
You meet someone, and you want to have that feeling and that passion.
And you'll risk everything to be with them.
I don't want to live without that.
I'd rather die.
Forget about everything else.
I know what's important now.
[SOBBING.]
[SNIFFLES.]
[BEEP.]
[LINE RINGING.]
It's Michelle.
Leave a message.
- [BEEP.]
- Fuck.
[LINE RINGING.]
It's Michelle.
Leave a message.
[TRUCK HORN HONKS.]
[LINE RINGING.]
MICHELLE: Hello.
Hi.
I'm so happy you picked up.
You can't keep calling me like this.
Well, if you answered, I wouldn't have to keep calling.
[MAN'S VOICE ON TV.]
[TV MUTED.]
There's a reason for that.
I can't stop thinking about you.
I have to see you.
That's not possible.
I didn't even get to say goodbye to you.
You just blew out of the parking lot.
I just want to see you for a second.
Where are you? I'm at the 7-Eleven by the courthouse.
Get in.
- [ENGINE STARTS.]
- No.
- [ENGINE OFF.]
- No.
You look great.
What do you want? What do you think I want? Stop.
Why? Michael, I'm married.
You're married.
We had a great time together, and now we go our separate ways.
That's the way it works.
Says who? Oh.
You've never done this before, have you? No.
But isn't that a good thing? I don't know how to explain it to you, but I'm happy.
Then why did you do that? Because it was fun.
And that's real.
But my husband was married when I met him.
I've been the homewrecker.
Doesn't feel good.
I don't plan on doing it again.
And look at you.
You have a life.
You're happy.
You could be, now that you let off some steam.
I'm not happy.
I told you that.
I've never been happier than I was last weekend.
And I know you felt that, too.
I don't know what to tell you but I'm not getting divorced.
I'm certainly not gonna break up your marriage.
What if I were single? Goodbye, Michael.
KENDRICK LAMAR: I got, I got, I got, I got Loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA Cocaine quarter piece, got war and peace inside my DNA I was born like this, since one like this Immaculate conception I don't contemplate, I meditate Then off your fucking head This that put the kids to bed This that I got, I got, I got, I got Loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA I know murder, conviction, burners, boosters Burglars, ballers, dead, redemption Scholars, fathers dead with kids And I wish I was dead, forgiveness Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Soldier's DNA, born inside the beast My expertise checked out in second grade And I'm gonna shine like I'm supposed to Antisocial, extrovert And pessimists never struck my nerve And that's a riff, gonna plead his case The reason my power's here on earth Salute the truth and the prophecy Where were you? You were gone for so long.
I was just watching TV.
Okay.
You know what we should do tomorrow? We should go for a hike.
Really? Yeah.
But we should go early like we used to.
Oh, I'd love that.
Oh, my God, what a beautiful tree.
I bet you could make a great table out of it.
Guess you'd have to cut it down.
Yeah, probably.
You doing okay? Yeah.
I'm so glad we did this.
Isn't it great? I don't know why we don't do it more often.
It gets a little harder after this, but we can go back if you want.
- No, I want to go to the top.
- Good.
Me, too.
- Want - Ah.
[GRUNTS.]
Ah.
Wow.
Aah! Fuck! [GRUNTS.]
What the fuck, you fucker! You pushed me! No.
No, I didn't.
You fell! You fucking asshole! What the fuck were you thinking? I don't know, I don't know! I slipped! Don't move! I'll come and help you! [GRUNTS.]
Honey! Honey, be careful! Ow.
Oh [GROANING.]
What the fuck! [GROANING.]
Okay.
Okay.
[SOBBING.]
I'm okay.
- Okay.
- Honey! - Honey.
- Okay.
Honey? Shelly, oh, my God.
Oh, good, you're okay.
Just stay away! Don't you dare come near me! I don't know what happened.
You have to believe me.
I know exactly what happened.
Honey! Shelly! Shelly! Honey? - Honey, listen to me.
- [CAR ALARM CHIRPS.]
Wait.
Wait.
Don't you come near me.
I don't know what you think.
You know what I think? I think you tried to fucking kill me.
I didn't.
I don't know what I was doing.
I've been crazy.
I'm sorry.
You tried to fucking kill me! I can't believe it took that to make me realize that this is over, but it is over! - Shh.
- Stop.
Aah! Oh! Ohh! [COUGHING AND WAILING.]
Aah! Aah! Aah! God! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Ohh! Aah! Oh, Shelly.
CAKE: At first I was afraid, I was petrified I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side But then I spent so many nights Just thinkin' how you done me wrong I grew strong I learned how to get along And so you're back from outer space I just walked in to find you here Without that look upon your face I should have changed my fucking lock I would have made you leave your key If I'd have known for just one second You'd be back to bother me Oh, now, go Walk out the door Just turn around Now you're not welcome anymore Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire? Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh, not I I will survive, yeah As long as I know how to love I know I'll be alive I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give I will survive I will survive Yeah, yeah, uh-huh [ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYING.]