The Stranger (Quibi) (2020) s01e02 Episode Script
8:00 PM
We are on the air and we are live, baby.
Come on, action.
- [INHALES, EXHALES]
I
- Cut. Where is the gal
who moved all the way across the U-S of A
to find fame and fortune?!
Where is my spunky Dorothy
and her sparkly red shoes?
I asked you a fucking question!
- [TEARFUL] Please don't
please don't hurt me
I'm begging you. Please
- All right, fuck it.
Pull over, let's get this
throat-cutting hoo-haw
over with.
- No, no. No, no
no, no
- How is that helping, exactly?
You are sitting next to a sociopath,
who has, by definition,
zero human empathy,
so how does caterwauling
fit into your survival plan here?
If it's male chivalry those puppy dog eyes
are meant to appeal to,
NEWSFLASH: it's 2020, Nancy Pelosi,
time to put your big girl pants on.
You can't have it both ways.
You can't expect men
to open the door for you cunts,
and then whine that we don't
treat you like equals!
[TIRES SQUEALING]
[CARL E. YELLING]
[THUDDING]
[CARL E. GROANING]
[CLARE PANTING]
[CARL E. GROANING]
Ooh
[UNFASTENS SEAT BELT]
- Ahh
help!
Help!
[PANTING]
Help!
Someone help, please!
Help!
Someone help! Help!
[SOBS]
[CAR DOOR OPENS]
[CLARE PANTING]
CARL E.: Didn't I tell you
how much I hate
that fucking female noise?
[CHUCKLING]
[CLARE PANTING]
[PANTING, GRUNTING]
[ENGINE STARTS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[LINE RINGING]
[COUGHS]
DISPATCHER: 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
[TEARFUL]
There's, there's a man--
there's a man that has a knife,
and he's trying to kill me.
DISPATCHER: Are you driving, ma'am?
If you are, I need you to pull over.
- No, I-- I can't. He's gonna--
He's gonna find me
DISPATCHER: Okay, ma'am,
we're going to send a car to meet you
at Sunset and Crescent Heights.
- What? I-I don't--
I don't know where that is.
[PANTING]
DISPATCHER: We've got your location,
all you need to do
is keep driving down the hill
exactly as you're doing,
and at the bottom,
you'll see a gas station.
- But I don't
I don't want him to find me.
I don't want him to find me
DISPATCHER: We have officers to meet you there.
I'm going to stay on the line with you,
okay, ma'am?
CLARE: Okay.
Okay, thank you.
DISPATCHER: What's your name?
CLARE: Uh uh, my, my name's Clare.
[DISPATCHER CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
- [INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
OFFICER: We have a unit headed to the house, ma'am.
Can you confirm the address?
- There-there's a, there's a body
there's there's a bag
in-in the back of the car,
and he said that
it's, there is a body
OFFICER: Stay here.
- [RADIO CHATTER CONTINUES]
OFFICER: You think this is funny?
- Excuse me?
- Come with me right now.
- [EXHALES]
[WHISPERING]
What?
What's wrong?
Officer?
OFFICER #2: Here's the comedian.
Your sorority put you up to this or what?
- You want to explain that?
[CLARE PANTING]
I don't
[OVER RADIO]
OFFICER #3: Negative on the suspect.
- He said
he said there was a, a body, uh
a little girl.
- Unit's leaving the house.
Nothing there
but a couple of pissed off old people.
- He texted me.
I-I can, I can show you his texts.
[PANTING]
His texts are gone.
I I don't understand.
And-- and his profile, too.
OFFICER #2: We're not gonna charge you
with filing a false police report.
- But you so much as toss
a piece of gum on the street,
we're coming back for you.
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
- Hey! Wha-- Uh, what happened?
Did you, uh,
did you dump a body
in the hills or something?
Don't worry about those guys.
Those guys are assholes.
They're always coming in here
and talking about the trans fats
in the footlongs, like this is
Cafe fucking Gratitude.
What is that?
Is that yours?
Ma'am? Hey. Uh, hey.
Excuse me, are you, uh, are you,
do you think you're gonna leave that here?
- You can keep her, I won't judge.
- No, I'm-I'm, I'm not into that, at all.
Not that I'm-- Not that there's anything
wrong with that,
necessarily, you know, people
you know, I don't want
to kink-shame anyone,
but, um, I digress.
Uh, my manager, Vlad--
you guessed right, Russian mob--
he, um, he does these, um, sort of random,
uh, garbage spot checks
in the middle of the night
sometimes, 'cause he's a psychopath,
so I, um so I guess
what I'm trying to say is
I don't-- lady, I don't think
you can leave your doll here.
Okay? I-- 'Cause, um like, like I said,
Vlad's gonna make it my problem,
and uh, you know,
I-I really, I need this job, so I can't
- I can't-- I-I can't keep it in my car.
- Okay-- Okay. Yeah.
Uh. Okay. Don't worry about it.
I'll I'll fish it out.
CLARE: I'm sorry.
- [QUIETLY]: That's okay.
- I'm an Orbit driver and I had a
a really scary passenger and I am
I'm just trying to get back home.
- Well, if you don't want him
bothering you anymore,
it's, it's easy.
You can just throw up a firewall,
or you can, uh,
encrypt your profile's GUI.
- I don't know what that means.
- Oh, it's, it's super simple.
I can do it for you in a nanosecond.
I'm a-- It's what I'm going to school for,
I'm a programmer.
I know, it's a bit of a cliché,
the Indian programmer guy,
but it's better than
the 7-11 Indian guy, so
- Uh, yeah, okay-- I'm, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna go now, 'cause, um yeah.
Um
- 'Kay.
- But thank you.
- No problem.
St-stay safe out there.
Wow.
[WINDOW SQUEAKING]
[CLEARING THROAT]
You're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Uh Kansas.
Because your license plate?
- Right. Yeah. Okay. See you.
[TRAFFIC PASSING]
["GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN" BY THE CHROMATICS BEGINS]
I come home in the morning light ♪
My mother says,
"When you gonna live your life right?" ♪
Oh, Mama dear,
we're not the fortunate ones ♪
And girls, they wanna have fun ♪
[MESSAGE TONE PLAYING]
Oh, girls just wanna have fun ♪
[MESSAGE TONE CONTINUES PLAYING]
They just wanna, they just wanna ♪
They just wanna, just wanna ♪
Just wanna, just wanna ♪
They just wanna, they just wanna ♪
When the working day is done ♪
Oh girls, they wanna have fun ♪
Oh, girls just wanna have fun. ♪
We are on the air and we are live, baby.
Come on, action.
- [INHALES, EXHALES]
I
- Cut. Where is the gal
who moved all the way across the U-S of A
to find fame and fortune?!
Where is my spunky Dorothy
and her sparkly red shoes?
I asked you a fucking question!
- [TEARFUL] Please don't
please don't hurt me
I'm begging you. Please
- All right, fuck it.
Pull over, let's get this
throat-cutting hoo-haw
over with.
- No, no. No, no
no, no
- How is that helping, exactly?
You are sitting next to a sociopath,
who has, by definition,
zero human empathy,
so how does caterwauling
fit into your survival plan here?
If it's male chivalry those puppy dog eyes
are meant to appeal to,
NEWSFLASH: it's 2020, Nancy Pelosi,
time to put your big girl pants on.
You can't have it both ways.
You can't expect men
to open the door for you cunts,
and then whine that we don't
treat you like equals!
[TIRES SQUEALING]
[CARL E. YELLING]
[THUDDING]
[CARL E. GROANING]
[CLARE PANTING]
[CARL E. GROANING]
Ooh
[UNFASTENS SEAT BELT]
- Ahh
help!
Help!
[PANTING]
Help!
Someone help, please!
Help!
Someone help! Help!
[SOBS]
[CAR DOOR OPENS]
[CLARE PANTING]
CARL E.: Didn't I tell you
how much I hate
that fucking female noise?
[CHUCKLING]
[CLARE PANTING]
[PANTING, GRUNTING]
[ENGINE STARTS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[LINE RINGING]
[COUGHS]
DISPATCHER: 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
[TEARFUL]
There's, there's a man--
there's a man that has a knife,
and he's trying to kill me.
DISPATCHER: Are you driving, ma'am?
If you are, I need you to pull over.
- No, I-- I can't. He's gonna--
He's gonna find me
DISPATCHER: Okay, ma'am,
we're going to send a car to meet you
at Sunset and Crescent Heights.
- What? I-I don't--
I don't know where that is.
[PANTING]
DISPATCHER: We've got your location,
all you need to do
is keep driving down the hill
exactly as you're doing,
and at the bottom,
you'll see a gas station.
- But I don't
I don't want him to find me.
I don't want him to find me
DISPATCHER: We have officers to meet you there.
I'm going to stay on the line with you,
okay, ma'am?
CLARE: Okay.
Okay, thank you.
DISPATCHER: What's your name?
CLARE: Uh uh, my, my name's Clare.
[DISPATCHER CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
- [INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
OFFICER: We have a unit headed to the house, ma'am.
Can you confirm the address?
- There-there's a, there's a body
there's there's a bag
in-in the back of the car,
and he said that
it's, there is a body
OFFICER: Stay here.
- [RADIO CHATTER CONTINUES]
OFFICER: You think this is funny?
- Excuse me?
- Come with me right now.
- [EXHALES]
[WHISPERING]
What?
What's wrong?
Officer?
OFFICER #2: Here's the comedian.
Your sorority put you up to this or what?
- You want to explain that?
[CLARE PANTING]
I don't
[OVER RADIO]
OFFICER #3: Negative on the suspect.
- He said
he said there was a, a body, uh
a little girl.
- Unit's leaving the house.
Nothing there
but a couple of pissed off old people.
- He texted me.
I-I can, I can show you his texts.
[PANTING]
His texts are gone.
I I don't understand.
And-- and his profile, too.
OFFICER #2: We're not gonna charge you
with filing a false police report.
- But you so much as toss
a piece of gum on the street,
we're coming back for you.
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
- Hey! Wha-- Uh, what happened?
Did you, uh,
did you dump a body
in the hills or something?
Don't worry about those guys.
Those guys are assholes.
They're always coming in here
and talking about the trans fats
in the footlongs, like this is
Cafe fucking Gratitude.
What is that?
Is that yours?
Ma'am? Hey. Uh, hey.
Excuse me, are you, uh, are you,
do you think you're gonna leave that here?
- You can keep her, I won't judge.
- No, I'm-I'm, I'm not into that, at all.
Not that I'm-- Not that there's anything
wrong with that,
necessarily, you know, people
you know, I don't want
to kink-shame anyone,
but, um, I digress.
Uh, my manager, Vlad--
you guessed right, Russian mob--
he, um, he does these, um, sort of random,
uh, garbage spot checks
in the middle of the night
sometimes, 'cause he's a psychopath,
so I, um so I guess
what I'm trying to say is
I don't-- lady, I don't think
you can leave your doll here.
Okay? I-- 'Cause, um like, like I said,
Vlad's gonna make it my problem,
and uh, you know,
I-I really, I need this job, so I can't
- I can't-- I-I can't keep it in my car.
- Okay-- Okay. Yeah.
Uh. Okay. Don't worry about it.
I'll I'll fish it out.
CLARE: I'm sorry.
- [QUIETLY]: That's okay.
- I'm an Orbit driver and I had a
a really scary passenger and I am
I'm just trying to get back home.
- Well, if you don't want him
bothering you anymore,
it's, it's easy.
You can just throw up a firewall,
or you can, uh,
encrypt your profile's GUI.
- I don't know what that means.
- Oh, it's, it's super simple.
I can do it for you in a nanosecond.
I'm a-- It's what I'm going to school for,
I'm a programmer.
I know, it's a bit of a cliché,
the Indian programmer guy,
but it's better than
the 7-11 Indian guy, so
- Uh, yeah, okay-- I'm, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna go now, 'cause, um yeah.
Um
- 'Kay.
- But thank you.
- No problem.
St-stay safe out there.
Wow.
[WINDOW SQUEAKING]
[CLEARING THROAT]
You're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Uh Kansas.
Because your license plate?
- Right. Yeah. Okay. See you.
[TRAFFIC PASSING]
["GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN" BY THE CHROMATICS BEGINS]
I come home in the morning light ♪
My mother says,
"When you gonna live your life right?" ♪
Oh, Mama dear,
we're not the fortunate ones ♪
And girls, they wanna have fun ♪
[MESSAGE TONE PLAYING]
Oh, girls just wanna have fun ♪
[MESSAGE TONE CONTINUES PLAYING]
They just wanna, they just wanna ♪
They just wanna, just wanna ♪
Just wanna, just wanna ♪
They just wanna, they just wanna ♪
When the working day is done ♪
Oh girls, they wanna have fun ♪
Oh, girls just wanna have fun. ♪