The Trouble with Maggie Cole (2020) s01e02 Episode Script
Episode 2
1
(Bell rings)
(Bell rings)
(Tyres squeal)
Yeah.
I think we're OK. No villagers
with flaming torches and pitchforks.
- Mind you, it is still quite early.
- You're not funny, you know?
You don't have to do this.
- You can just take the day off.
- Why would I do that?
Perhaps because
you didn't get a wink of sleep.
- Says who?
- Maggie, we've been married 30 years.
Do you think I don't know the difference
between you sleeping
and you just lying there all night
with your eyes closed?
- (She scoffs)
- What?
Nothing, I'm just trying to work out
if that is sweet or creepy.
- I'm fine, I promise.
- All right, OK.
And we've been married 31 years,
by the way.
I know that.
I'm just rounding down.
Carol!
- Oh, do you think I should go?
- No, she's on her way to work, just leave it.
You're right.
Baby steps is What's needed here.
And I need to work out exactly
what I'm going to say to all of them.
- The last thing I need to do now is to rush.
- (Car horn touts loudly)
(She gasps)
- Is she looking?
- I don't know, your heads in the way.
- Do you want me to check or?
- No! No!
Otherwise, you might make eye contact.
And then you'll have to wave.
And I'll have to wave.
And the whole thing will just seem sarcastic.
Maybe
drive away, then?
I'm gonna drive away.
(Car engine starts)
(Laughter and shouting)
(School bell rings)
- (Text message alert)
- I don't
I mean, it's just unbelievable.
Oh, Roxanna,
er, can I just have a quick word, hon?
OK
- Semi, can I just?
- (Text message alert)
For God's sake!
Oi!
Didn't you see them?
- Didn't I see who?
- Rubber-neckers.
Who?
The people staring at you
like you're in a zoo exhibit.
- What people?
- The couple who live opposite.
Oh
I wouldn't mind,
but they never even come in here.
- Well, maybe they will now.
- Not after What I just said to them.
What?
- You should sue the radio station.
- Nah, I just want to forget about it.
We should at least sue Maggie Cole.
You know, she's always been like this?
She used to work at the school
when I was there.
She sent me to the old Headmistress
for pretending to smoke.
- Pretending to?
- I was only eight years old.
It was only a bit of rolled-up graph paper.
Go on.
Sue her.
It'll be fun.
I told you,
I just want to forget about it.
If you see any more rubber-neckers
don't swear at them
until they've bought at least one pint, eh?
- This is still a business.
- (Text message alert)
- Is something wrong?
- No.
It's just Liam sent me
another one of his unfunny jokes again.
(Text message alert)
(Text message alert)
(They laugh)
(Text message alert)
You really didn't need to come with me,
you know?
Moral support.
Hello!
This is a nice surprise.
Yeah
You might want to hold that thought, Maggie.
Sorry?
I think we should go inside, Mum.
No infection, no inflammation and
certainly no novelty pencil eraser.
But he said he shoved it right in,
all the way.
Mrs Jan/is, if he had,
then, I assure you, he'd either be
completely deaf or completely dead.
As he appears to be neither,
I'm going to suggest he's either lying or it
simply fell out.
My Tommy don't lie.
Then I refer you to option B.
Right.
Of course, you know where he got it from,
don't you?
A school trip up the Keep.
- That Maggie Cole runs it, don't she?
- I've no idea.
Yeah.
Yeah, she does.
I was just reading about
that radio interview she gave, actually.
Yes, well, if I were you, Mrs Jarvis,
I'd spend less time
worrying about what some
Hang on.
What do you mean, reading?
Reading about it where?
Do I get a lolly now or what?
Yeah, after some lunch.
Well, What am I looking at?
Your interview, Mum.
And
- it's trending.
- Trending?
Number two in the county,
number eight in the country.
Slap bang between the X Factor final
and International Pets Day.
But I, erdon't understand.
Well, someone posted it online last night,
and since then it's been retweeted, like
1,200 times.
Oh, God!
It's basically become a meme.
A meme?
Yeah, you know,
like the woman that punched the horse.
Becks
- I'm just explaining it to her.
- Oh, God
The things people are saying.
- (Telephone rings)
- They're just trolls, Maggie.
Oh, er
- Thurlbury Castle.
- Fort.
- Keep.
- Keep.
Er, yeah, she is.
- Mum?
-Yes.
- Dad.
- Right.
Peter? Peter?
I'm a meme!
I know, love.
I know.
8,000 retweets
in 24 hours!
There aren't 8,000 people in Thurlbury!
That means absolutely everybody's
seen it by now.
Even the bloody Queen
has probably seen it.
Right, well, that's my OBE
up the Suwannee, then.
- What are you doing?
- What do you mean, What am I doing?
I'm looking out the Window.
Why can't I look out the window?
- It's my window!
- Right.
I mean, I like to think of it as our window,
but that doesn't
- Oh! Oh, oh, oh
- Now where are you going?
(Front door closes)
Carol
Carol, please, wait.
- Carol!
- What?
I just want to say that
I'm semi.
- Well, now you have.
- And I want to let you know
that I am gonna make it right,
all of it.
I am.
If you could just hear me out for five minutes.
Carol, please!
- You're gonna have to talk to me eventually.
- Why?
Well, because
Because you're my doctor.
Go private.
(Metal gate clangs shut)
(He sighs)
Hi, Emil.
Hey.
I see you've had a run
on Marcus Ormansbys.
Ah
People buy them
to see if they appear in them.
- Oh
- Which they don't.
Are you OK?
No, Jill, no.
It's not been a good day.
Oh
Ditto.
Is Roxy at home?
She came straight home
and straight to her room.
Just like when she was a teenager
and she was upset.
I never knew what to say
for the best then, either.
Well, judging from how she's turned out,
I'd guess you always managed
to say the right thing.
I hope 50.
Thank you, Jill.
Well
I never actually read one.
Plus, I kind of like the title.
Mm
(bar code reader beeps)
All right, kidda?
- Where's your mum?
- Upstairs.
Dad
Are we millionaires?
Ah
What are you doing?
- Come on, you don't want Josh seeing this.
- (He zips up the bag)
I think it's a bit too late for that, don't you?
We said we weren't gonna touch it.
We said we'd leave it for a year.
And only then spend it in small amounts.
I know, I just
We were just sitting on it, though, Kelly.
70 grand!
I just wanted something to make it feel real,
you know?
A sports car, Neil?
I mean, couldn't you have gone with
a new TV or something?
I'm surprised you didn't get a personalised
number plate while you were at it.
Oh, Neil, you haven't?
- K-E-L-L-1-3.
- Oh!
I know you're Kelly with a Y,
but that was already taken, so
It's on order.
It's supposed to be a surprise.
Well, it was!
It is.
You may as well have got one
that spelt out thief.
Don't say that, Kelly.
We didn't steal anything.
You know we didn't, we just
We took advantage of an opportunity.
That's all.
And nothing has changed.
Nothing's changed?
Neil, the entire village
thinks we've won the lottery.
Well, maybe that's the answer.
- What is?
- What you just said.
What?
If the entire village
thinks we've won the lottery
who's to say we haven't?
Carol?
I take it you've heard what the number one
trending topic across the county today is.
I have, yes.
- Are you gonna tell me Where you've been?
- There.
Really?
On a Monday?
Must've been a bit of a surprise.
And how exactly did you explain
that sudden little?
It's over.
What?
I ended it.
It's over.
It was too soon, wasn't it?
Me trying to talk to Carol, it was too soon.
- I thought you didn't want to talk about this.
- I don't want to talk about it.
- And I'm not talking about it.
- Right, then.
(She sighs)
It was too soon, wasn't it?
(He sighs)
I don't know, Maggie.
You know, it's not like there's a set of rules
for this sort of thing.
- But if there were?
- I don't know.
If there were, er
maybe something like, you know,
if you are going to publicly announce
on the radio that, er
that a woman's husband is having
an affair behind her back with a man
maybe give it, you know,
48 hours before bringing it up.
-And I gave it 24.
- You gave it 24.
- Probably Where I went wrong.
- Probably where you went wrong.
- It'll be 48 hours tomorrow.
- Oh, you
Sorry, sorry.
Oh
(He scoffs)
- Morning.
- Nothing!
It's
Jamie
What's up?
I'm running late.
Argh!
I'm gonna miss the team huddle.
- Estate agents huddle?
- Yeah.
Estate agents huddle.
Why can't estate agents huddle?
I don't know,
I suppose they can if they want.
You might want to forgo this one, though.
Why?
Becka, why am I forgoing my huddle?
Well, that's a sentence
I bet you never thought you'd say out loud.
Sorry, I'm just trying to lighten the mood
before you flip out.
I should've left ten minutes ago.
What's so important it'll make me flip out?
Yeah.
That'll do it all right.
Do you need a huddle?
It says I broke the internet.
Did I?
Did I break the internet?
Oh, I think the internet will be all right.
I can't believe they've done this.
What will they all think?
I almost wish it was my photo instead
splashed over the front cover.
Do you?
Well, turn to page three
Urgh!
Oh,urgh!
- That's from the Halloween disco.
- They must've got it from the school website.
Yeah, but there's loads
of much better pictures of me on there.
It's as if they've chosen this one deliberately.
Yeah, it does get worse.
They've got your age wrong, too.
- What? What?
- (Telephone rings)
64?!
Hello?
It's Jamie.
Tell him I already know.
She already knows.
She already knows.
Does she know about her age?
Is she OK?
Is she handling it?
Oh!
Yeah, yeah.
She's, er, just
Hang on two secs, Jamie.
Here, here
You can take the car today.
I've decided to call in sick.
Where are you going?
Where do people usually go
when they call in sick?
To see the doctor.
No
No, wait, Maggie.
Maggie!
- Oh, shit!
- (Front door closes)
JAMIE: Sorry?
PERU“
(Car stereo thumps)
Reckon he's seen the paper?
I don't know. I don't care.
It's not true, anyway.
Don't do that here.
What, outside Mr Big's?
Aw, you're sweet.
Do you still believe in the tooth fairy, too?
Hey, if it means I'm getting a fiver
under my pillow, then, yeah.
As if anybody is paying a fiver for your teeth.
Why, what do you mean?
What's the matter with my teeth?
Nothing, Liam.
They are very, very nice teeth.
Mm.
It's your brain I'm worried about.
- See you tonight.
- Yeah.
Oi,Syd
Look, now it's all out in the open
- why don't you just ask him?
- Sure.
I'll get right on that.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- What's she doing here?
- She asked to see you.
I asked what it was about,
she said it was personal.
So, I told her, "You can't see the doctor unless
you have a medical reason to see the doctor."
She said she had one.
I said, "What is it?"
She said, "It's personal.”
I said, ”If you don't tell me What it is,
I can't put it on the system.
"And if I don't put it on the system,
- "you can't see the doctor, end of."
- Yes, and?
Trench foot?
- "Concerned parent 86."
- Sorry?
Oh, this woman on our website.
Well, I assume it's a woman.
Sounds like a woman.
Keeps making all these
sort of poisonous little posts.
"In light of recent events,
”do other parents agree the Headmaster's
position has become untenable?
"Blah, blah, blah, conflict of interest.
"Whinge, whinge, whinge,
best for the school."
I mean, as if any of this is Peter's
is Mr Cole's fault.
If you ask me, he's the real victim here.
Oh, after all of you lot,
with your pictures in the paper, obviously.
Oh, Jill.
Hello.
Erm, Roxanna's not feeling very well,
so she's gonna go home.
Oh, right. And what's, erm?
What's wrong?
Er
Oh, er
I've got a free period,
so I'm gonna drive her.
Yeah, of course.
It's all getting a bit out of hand, isn't it?
Radio, internet, newspaper,
and all because of one women.
Oh, did I hear you say
that Roxanna was going home sick now?
I don't know, Karen.
That would depend on
whether you were listening in
to our conversation or not.
- No, I was not!
- Well, then, presumably
you didn't hear me say anything of the sort.
Well
Only, if she is, then I need
to update my system, do you see?
Well, if you were listening in
and you did hear me say it,
then you'd better update your system, yeah.
It's a tricky one, isn't it?
Not one word of any of this is true.
- You do know that, don't you?
- Of course I do.
Poor Roxanna.
Is she OK?
What's she said about it all?
She's fine.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Yeah, honestly.
She's good.
So, I've heard.
I read it on a toilet wall.
- It's not funny, Liam.
- It's a bit funny.
Go and get changed.
You're coming with me to visit Nana.
Me?
Why can't he go?
Because, unlike you, I have a job.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I've heard of those.
You did have another one, though,
didn't you?
A better one.
And then you packed it all in
to come back here, to Thurlbury.
Well, it's because I missed you, Liam,
so, so much.
- AW!
- Will you go and get changed?
At least the T-shirt.
What's wrong with it?
- It's got a cannabis leaf on it, you bellend.
- Who are you calling a bellend?
Anyway, she won't know what it is.
Half the time,
she doesn't even know who I am.
- Oh, lucky her!
- Liam
All right.
God!
See you tonight, then, Mum.
You don't regret it, do you?
Coming back, I mean.
Only, I do sometimes feel guilty
that maybe you just
Mum, it's OK.
Big city life wasn't for me.
I needed to get out, trust me.
I'm glad you did.
Oh
These last few months,
even/thing that's happened.
Mum going into that home and
And your dad.
I don't know how I would've got through it.
It's OK.
And you really shouldn't call your brother
a bellend, you know?
All right.
(Telephone rings)
She is, yeah.
Are you sure?
- Mrs Cole
- Mm?
- The doctor will see you now.
- Ah, thank you.
Oh
Oh
You know, Roxy,
nobody actually believes a word of it.
The kids at school don't. I don't.
And I know for a fact that you dad won't.
It's tomorrow's fish and chip paper,
that's all.
Alex hasn't even spoken to me since.
And it's not like he'd believe it.
At least, I don't think he would.
It's more likely he's worried
how it would look to his mates or something.
Oh, he's an idiot. What can I say?
He doesn't deserve you.
And if it makes you feel any better,
I happen to know that Geoff Gill in SC
has a huge crush on you.
He's eight!
Yeah, well, I'm not saying
you don't have a long wait in store.
I'm just saying you've got options.
That's better.
Don't let the buggers drag you down.
That's what my gran used to always say.
I know I'm not.
Thanks for driving me home.
What goes around
comes around, Roxy.
You'll see.
Marcus?
You're Marcus Ormansby, right?
I am, yes.
And, no, before you ask, none of my books
are based on anyone in this village.
I've already had three people stop me
this morning and
No, no, no, no, no.
Sorry, I'm Jill.
Jill Wheadon.
I'm one of the outed six, too.
The outed six?
What?
Oh, you mean you haven't?
Oh, OK.
What the?
"Radiogate"?
Are you kidding me, that stupid interview?
How is this front-page news?
Huh, welcome to Thurlbury.
If it's any consolation,
it is quite a good picture.
I'm not surprised,
it was taken about seven years ago.
Yeah, well,
mine was taken about a stone and a half ago.
So, I guess we've both been lucky
on that front.
Well, this certainly explains
all the funny looks I've been getting.
Thanks, I guess.
Actually, erm
I'm a teacher at the local primary school
and I was wondering if you might
Oh, God, I mean, say no if you like,
but, er, would you be up
for coming in sometime,
giving the kids a little talk
about writing and that?
- I'm sure they'd love it.
- I'm not exactly JK Rowling, you know?
- I doubt any of them have even heard of me.
- Oh, er
Yeah.
- I think they have.
- Fair point.
All right, sure, why not?
Oh!
I suppose us outed six
need to stick together, right?
Right.
So, hopefully,
you are now suitably reassured
that you are definitely not suffering
from a malady
that's gone generally unreported
amongst the populous since at least 1949.
- I've also got a sore throat.
- Yes, well, there's a lot of it going round.
It usually clears up within 24 hours.
But if it doesn't,
I should probably come back, like, tomorrow.
Possibly the next day.
Maybe even the day after that.
Until it clears up.
(She sighs)
You have exactly five minutes.
Carol
I am so, so semi.
- You've already said that.
- I know, I know. But I need you to
I mean, yes, I could stand here
and try to tell you that
that stupid reporter got me drunk
and then he asked me
lots of leading questions
and then he edited the whole thing together
completely out of context.
I could tn! and tell you that.
- You pretty much are.
- But I
I don't want to do that.
Even though that is the whole truth,
by the way,
I don't want to do that.
I want to make it right.
I want to fix Whatever issues
I may have caused,
completely inadvertently,
between you and your husband.
Honestly, Carol, that is all I care about.
Erm, have I
caused issues?
I'm sorry, Maggie, just to be clear,
are you actually asking me
Whether your radio announcement,
regarding my husband having
a homosexual love affair behind my back,
might possibly have caused
a teeny, tiny rift in our relationship?
Well, sort of.
But mainly how I can make it better.
I'm a good listener,
if that counts for anything.
I mean, look, regardless
of What I may or may not have said,
edited, completely out of context,
I do know that you and your husband
obviously love each other very much
Oh!
- You used to have a
- It's in the drawer.
I put it away
after every single patient that came in
started looking at it
and asking me questions.
Or worse, looked at it
and deliberately went out of the way
not to ask me questions, just
awkwardly sat there instead,
giving me that awful, sad,
sympathetic head tilt people always do.
- I hate that look.
- Mm.
Would you like to know the truth, Maggie?
-Well, I
- I think you deserve it.
And when I say that,
I don't say it in a good way.
I've got to head out.
In fact, I won't be back until closing.
The brewery's got this thing
with the suppliers.
It's gonna go on late.
- A party, is it?
- I hope not.
Look, are you gonna be all right
to handle things here, lock up and that?
Double time.
Triple.
I'm kidding, kidding.
Nah, of course I'll be all right.
You get off.
I appreciate it.
Brian
You know nobody believes that rubbish,
don't you?
OK, to put it another way
you know, if they do,
then they're just as loony as she is.
See you tomorrow.
(Children giggle)
Yeah, something tickling you all?
My mum said you married a froghorn.
I suspect she said foghorn, actually,
young Hayley.
Actually, did I hear you got a gold star
recently for your 12 times table?
Yes, sir.
Very good.
Do you know, I used to teach your mother.
And I remember she always had
a lot of trouble with the old 12 times table.
So, Why don't you get her to recite it
tonight at tea-time?
Hey?
Good girl.
Jill.
So, erm
How is she?
Roxanna.
Upset, hurt, confused.
Yeah.
And you?
So
No, no, stupid question, sorry.
It's not your fault.
I know she's texted you a dozen times.
And I know you haven't replied yet.
And I don't blame you.
Erm
Jill it's breaking her heart.
If you can just talk to her
His son?
That's right, Maggie.
That's who your friend of a friend
saw him with.
Not his lover, I'm afraid, just his son.
- You mean, from a previous marriage?
- No, I mean, from his current one.
There never was another man, Maggie, but
there is another woman.
We met at a pharmaceutical conference
he was repping it.
It started as an affair,
of which I've had many.
And then it became something else.
Something I'd always been looking for,
but never believed I could have.
A family-free, child-free,
completely committed,
non-committed relationship.
And marriage, of a son.
I think the word you're currently clawing
your brain for here, Maggie, is bigamy.
Care-free, victimless,
Monday-to-Friday bigamy.
Not in the legal sense, of course.
He was never actually my husband.
But move a ring one finger down and, er
people stop asking questions.
Of course, that's all over now, isn't it?
Your edited, out-of—context interview
has seen to that.
He chose me.
And now I've got even/Thing I never wanted.
Just
him and me forever and ever
till nervous breakdown do us part.
Oh, that's some hot gossip for you, isn't it?
Juicier than any you got
your 15 minutes of fame over.
Will I be seeing it on Loose Women
tomorrow afternoon?
I don't
I
I won't tell a soul.
Oh, I know you won't.
And it's going to absolutely kill you, isn't it?
Well
I think that's our time up.
(She resumes typing)
(Door closes)
(Doorbell rings)
Er, Christopher, isn't it?
Is your mum home?
Hello.
- (Doorbell chimes)
- So, what did she actually say, then, Mum?
Nothing.
Well, she can't have just sat there in silence.
She must've said something.
Well, she told me I don't have trench foot.
Oh, well, there we go, then.
Every cloud, eh?
PETER: Er, Maggie
Jill
Right, I think we should
Yeah.
Come on, come on.
Jill
Peter thought that I should come
and talk to you.
I don't see the point, myself.
I mean, what can you saw
I'm
sorry?
But
I am sorry.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure you are.
After all
you've come out of this
a lot worse than I have.
Have you, er
still got that notebook?
All the stuff you were planning for Thurlbury's
big anniversary celebrations.
- Er, well, yes, I have, but
- Good.
I think it might be better if you give it to me.
You don't really think that you can still do it,
do you?
Not now.
Surely, even you don't think that.
But I'm
Thurlbury's local historian.
You run a gift shop, Maggie.
You just run a gift shop.
Can I have the notebook?
Yeah.
Thank you.
I'll see myself out.
(Front door closes)
- Well
- Well, that was pretty brutal.
Mum
Are you OK?
No.
No, I'm not OK.
Pissed off is what I am.
I'm pig bloody sick of it!
All of it!
I did nothing wrong!
Well, all right, yes,
technically, I did do something wrong.
But I'm not the one
who stuck it on the radio.
I didn't twittle about it on the internet.
I didn't splash it all over the newspaper.
I'm not gonna be made to feel like a pariah
in my own village.
In fact, do you know what we're going to do?
We're going to go out there, all of us.
We are going to walk to the pub
with our heads held high.
We're going in there,
we're gonna sit down,
we're gonna have a drink, as a family,
just like normal!
What do you mean, like normal?
We have literally never done that ever.
Well, maybe it's high time we did.
Yeah.
(Front door closes)
I think you're probably going to have to spend
the next 40 years of your life
trying to make it up to her.
And at least a quarter of that
sleeping in the spare bedroom.
But we've both agreed
that's Where your home is.
She's waiting for you now.
-And us?
- Alan
you know that this would never work.
You know that this was never the deal.
You love me.
I love you.
You love her.
That was what worked.
I mean, everyone thinks I'm the victim here.
That's not a role I can play.
No more than I can play the role
you need in your life from here on out.
We both know that.
(Bar-room charter)
(Room falls silent)
Is it just me
or does it feel like somewhere
a piano player just abruptly stopped playing?
OK, if you
you can get them in?
- Yeah.
- And I'll just find a table.
- This one's free.
- The one right in the middle?
Yes, the one right in the middle.
Yes.
All right, sir?
Oh, Liam, you got a job.
No.
The girlfriend asked us to give her a hand
while the boss man's away on business.
Actually, after what I've been reading, it's
- it's lucky for you that he is.
- Oh, you can read now, can you?
Ah, well done.
I knew you'd master it eventually.
- What?
- Two and a half pints of Thurlbury
and a rum and Coke, please.
That's perfect.
I,erm
I don't know, Neil.
The numbers look wrong.
It's a different, like, thingy, font.
What?
Nobody's gonna notice that.
It's basically just for show.
The hard part is over.
She might not know it,
but Maggie Cole's seen to that.
It can't be a lie
if even/one already believes it now, can it?
Well, at least everyone's stopped staring now.
Well, most of them have.
Well, those two have.
Actually, Mum,
I think they're German tourists.
Let them stare as well, if they want.
Who cares, you know?
So, it was the right move.
Yeah.
It really was, Mum.
Oh, yeah, it's not awkward at all.
What?
I said it wasn't awkward.
Oh, God.
What's she doing in the pub?
She's a doctor.
It's fine.
I doubt she'll even want to come
And here she comes.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Maggie.
- Carol.
I just want you to know
that everything you said was true.
- I don't really
- I got the whole story out of him tonight.
He was living a lie
and he made me a pan of it.
So, he's gone.
Oh, erm
Now, don't get me wrong, you had no right
to discuss my life in public like that.
No right.
But
if you hadn't, then
I suppose I never would've found out
the truth.
So, as far as I'm concerned
that's the end of it.
- How's your sore throat?
- Oh, er
Yes, lovely, thank
Better. Much better.
Glad to hear it.
Mm.
Well, that was nice, wasn't it?
Now, I bet you're glad you came, aren't you?
So, the doc's fella
really was doing the dirty on her, then, eh?
Apparently.
Kind of makes you wonder
What else she was right about, don't it?
No.
It doesn't.
Oh
Hey, come on.
Baby steps, just like you said.
You know, one down, five to go.
And let's be honest here, she was probably
always gonna be the hardest one.
Probably, yeah.
I'm gonna go on up.
OK.
I am so sorry, Kelly.
I really am.
I mean, there was a woman who
called me yesterday from the Daily Mirror.
Daily Minot/2?
What exactly did they ask
about our family?
What's to ask? What's to tell?
No skeletons in our closet,
thank you very much.
I've managed to arrange
for Marcus Ormansby to come in.
You do know his books are 21” Violence,
murder and death?
Come on, let's get out of here before she
insists on giving you a full cavity search, too.
Disgusting!
I've got your money.
Do you not think
it's a little bit too late for all that?
- Maggie, what is it? What's wrong?
- Everything is wonderful!
The most amazing news!
Text me, yeah?
You mean, you and Marcus?
- What am I gonna find there?
- A gun.
KELLY: It's got to be drugs, hasn't it?
Some kind of drop off.
We have to call the police.
Do we?
(Bell rings)
(Bell rings)
(Tyres squeal)
Yeah.
I think we're OK. No villagers
with flaming torches and pitchforks.
- Mind you, it is still quite early.
- You're not funny, you know?
You don't have to do this.
- You can just take the day off.
- Why would I do that?
Perhaps because
you didn't get a wink of sleep.
- Says who?
- Maggie, we've been married 30 years.
Do you think I don't know the difference
between you sleeping
and you just lying there all night
with your eyes closed?
- (She scoffs)
- What?
Nothing, I'm just trying to work out
if that is sweet or creepy.
- I'm fine, I promise.
- All right, OK.
And we've been married 31 years,
by the way.
I know that.
I'm just rounding down.
Carol!
- Oh, do you think I should go?
- No, she's on her way to work, just leave it.
You're right.
Baby steps is What's needed here.
And I need to work out exactly
what I'm going to say to all of them.
- The last thing I need to do now is to rush.
- (Car horn touts loudly)
(She gasps)
- Is she looking?
- I don't know, your heads in the way.
- Do you want me to check or?
- No! No!
Otherwise, you might make eye contact.
And then you'll have to wave.
And I'll have to wave.
And the whole thing will just seem sarcastic.
Maybe
drive away, then?
I'm gonna drive away.
(Car engine starts)
(Laughter and shouting)
(School bell rings)
- (Text message alert)
- I don't
I mean, it's just unbelievable.
Oh, Roxanna,
er, can I just have a quick word, hon?
OK
- Semi, can I just?
- (Text message alert)
For God's sake!
Oi!
Didn't you see them?
- Didn't I see who?
- Rubber-neckers.
Who?
The people staring at you
like you're in a zoo exhibit.
- What people?
- The couple who live opposite.
Oh
I wouldn't mind,
but they never even come in here.
- Well, maybe they will now.
- Not after What I just said to them.
What?
- You should sue the radio station.
- Nah, I just want to forget about it.
We should at least sue Maggie Cole.
You know, she's always been like this?
She used to work at the school
when I was there.
She sent me to the old Headmistress
for pretending to smoke.
- Pretending to?
- I was only eight years old.
It was only a bit of rolled-up graph paper.
Go on.
Sue her.
It'll be fun.
I told you,
I just want to forget about it.
If you see any more rubber-neckers
don't swear at them
until they've bought at least one pint, eh?
- This is still a business.
- (Text message alert)
- Is something wrong?
- No.
It's just Liam sent me
another one of his unfunny jokes again.
(Text message alert)
(Text message alert)
(They laugh)
(Text message alert)
You really didn't need to come with me,
you know?
Moral support.
Hello!
This is a nice surprise.
Yeah
You might want to hold that thought, Maggie.
Sorry?
I think we should go inside, Mum.
No infection, no inflammation and
certainly no novelty pencil eraser.
But he said he shoved it right in,
all the way.
Mrs Jan/is, if he had,
then, I assure you, he'd either be
completely deaf or completely dead.
As he appears to be neither,
I'm going to suggest he's either lying or it
simply fell out.
My Tommy don't lie.
Then I refer you to option B.
Right.
Of course, you know where he got it from,
don't you?
A school trip up the Keep.
- That Maggie Cole runs it, don't she?
- I've no idea.
Yeah.
Yeah, she does.
I was just reading about
that radio interview she gave, actually.
Yes, well, if I were you, Mrs Jarvis,
I'd spend less time
worrying about what some
Hang on.
What do you mean, reading?
Reading about it where?
Do I get a lolly now or what?
Yeah, after some lunch.
Well, What am I looking at?
Your interview, Mum.
And
- it's trending.
- Trending?
Number two in the county,
number eight in the country.
Slap bang between the X Factor final
and International Pets Day.
But I, erdon't understand.
Well, someone posted it online last night,
and since then it's been retweeted, like
1,200 times.
Oh, God!
It's basically become a meme.
A meme?
Yeah, you know,
like the woman that punched the horse.
Becks
- I'm just explaining it to her.
- Oh, God
The things people are saying.
- (Telephone rings)
- They're just trolls, Maggie.
Oh, er
- Thurlbury Castle.
- Fort.
- Keep.
- Keep.
Er, yeah, she is.
- Mum?
-Yes.
- Dad.
- Right.
Peter? Peter?
I'm a meme!
I know, love.
I know.
8,000 retweets
in 24 hours!
There aren't 8,000 people in Thurlbury!
That means absolutely everybody's
seen it by now.
Even the bloody Queen
has probably seen it.
Right, well, that's my OBE
up the Suwannee, then.
- What are you doing?
- What do you mean, What am I doing?
I'm looking out the Window.
Why can't I look out the window?
- It's my window!
- Right.
I mean, I like to think of it as our window,
but that doesn't
- Oh! Oh, oh, oh
- Now where are you going?
(Front door closes)
Carol
Carol, please, wait.
- Carol!
- What?
I just want to say that
I'm semi.
- Well, now you have.
- And I want to let you know
that I am gonna make it right,
all of it.
I am.
If you could just hear me out for five minutes.
Carol, please!
- You're gonna have to talk to me eventually.
- Why?
Well, because
Because you're my doctor.
Go private.
(Metal gate clangs shut)
(He sighs)
Hi, Emil.
Hey.
I see you've had a run
on Marcus Ormansbys.
Ah
People buy them
to see if they appear in them.
- Oh
- Which they don't.
Are you OK?
No, Jill, no.
It's not been a good day.
Oh
Ditto.
Is Roxy at home?
She came straight home
and straight to her room.
Just like when she was a teenager
and she was upset.
I never knew what to say
for the best then, either.
Well, judging from how she's turned out,
I'd guess you always managed
to say the right thing.
I hope 50.
Thank you, Jill.
Well
I never actually read one.
Plus, I kind of like the title.
Mm
(bar code reader beeps)
All right, kidda?
- Where's your mum?
- Upstairs.
Dad
Are we millionaires?
Ah
What are you doing?
- Come on, you don't want Josh seeing this.
- (He zips up the bag)
I think it's a bit too late for that, don't you?
We said we weren't gonna touch it.
We said we'd leave it for a year.
And only then spend it in small amounts.
I know, I just
We were just sitting on it, though, Kelly.
70 grand!
I just wanted something to make it feel real,
you know?
A sports car, Neil?
I mean, couldn't you have gone with
a new TV or something?
I'm surprised you didn't get a personalised
number plate while you were at it.
Oh, Neil, you haven't?
- K-E-L-L-1-3.
- Oh!
I know you're Kelly with a Y,
but that was already taken, so
It's on order.
It's supposed to be a surprise.
Well, it was!
It is.
You may as well have got one
that spelt out thief.
Don't say that, Kelly.
We didn't steal anything.
You know we didn't, we just
We took advantage of an opportunity.
That's all.
And nothing has changed.
Nothing's changed?
Neil, the entire village
thinks we've won the lottery.
Well, maybe that's the answer.
- What is?
- What you just said.
What?
If the entire village
thinks we've won the lottery
who's to say we haven't?
Carol?
I take it you've heard what the number one
trending topic across the county today is.
I have, yes.
- Are you gonna tell me Where you've been?
- There.
Really?
On a Monday?
Must've been a bit of a surprise.
And how exactly did you explain
that sudden little?
It's over.
What?
I ended it.
It's over.
It was too soon, wasn't it?
Me trying to talk to Carol, it was too soon.
- I thought you didn't want to talk about this.
- I don't want to talk about it.
- And I'm not talking about it.
- Right, then.
(She sighs)
It was too soon, wasn't it?
(He sighs)
I don't know, Maggie.
You know, it's not like there's a set of rules
for this sort of thing.
- But if there were?
- I don't know.
If there were, er
maybe something like, you know,
if you are going to publicly announce
on the radio that, er
that a woman's husband is having
an affair behind her back with a man
maybe give it, you know,
48 hours before bringing it up.
-And I gave it 24.
- You gave it 24.
- Probably Where I went wrong.
- Probably where you went wrong.
- It'll be 48 hours tomorrow.
- Oh, you
Sorry, sorry.
Oh
(He scoffs)
- Morning.
- Nothing!
It's
Jamie
What's up?
I'm running late.
Argh!
I'm gonna miss the team huddle.
- Estate agents huddle?
- Yeah.
Estate agents huddle.
Why can't estate agents huddle?
I don't know,
I suppose they can if they want.
You might want to forgo this one, though.
Why?
Becka, why am I forgoing my huddle?
Well, that's a sentence
I bet you never thought you'd say out loud.
Sorry, I'm just trying to lighten the mood
before you flip out.
I should've left ten minutes ago.
What's so important it'll make me flip out?
Yeah.
That'll do it all right.
Do you need a huddle?
It says I broke the internet.
Did I?
Did I break the internet?
Oh, I think the internet will be all right.
I can't believe they've done this.
What will they all think?
I almost wish it was my photo instead
splashed over the front cover.
Do you?
Well, turn to page three
Urgh!
Oh,urgh!
- That's from the Halloween disco.
- They must've got it from the school website.
Yeah, but there's loads
of much better pictures of me on there.
It's as if they've chosen this one deliberately.
Yeah, it does get worse.
They've got your age wrong, too.
- What? What?
- (Telephone rings)
64?!
Hello?
It's Jamie.
Tell him I already know.
She already knows.
She already knows.
Does she know about her age?
Is she OK?
Is she handling it?
Oh!
Yeah, yeah.
She's, er, just
Hang on two secs, Jamie.
Here, here
You can take the car today.
I've decided to call in sick.
Where are you going?
Where do people usually go
when they call in sick?
To see the doctor.
No
No, wait, Maggie.
Maggie!
- Oh, shit!
- (Front door closes)
JAMIE: Sorry?
PERU“
(Car stereo thumps)
Reckon he's seen the paper?
I don't know. I don't care.
It's not true, anyway.
Don't do that here.
What, outside Mr Big's?
Aw, you're sweet.
Do you still believe in the tooth fairy, too?
Hey, if it means I'm getting a fiver
under my pillow, then, yeah.
As if anybody is paying a fiver for your teeth.
Why, what do you mean?
What's the matter with my teeth?
Nothing, Liam.
They are very, very nice teeth.
Mm.
It's your brain I'm worried about.
- See you tonight.
- Yeah.
Oi,Syd
Look, now it's all out in the open
- why don't you just ask him?
- Sure.
I'll get right on that.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- What's she doing here?
- She asked to see you.
I asked what it was about,
she said it was personal.
So, I told her, "You can't see the doctor unless
you have a medical reason to see the doctor."
She said she had one.
I said, "What is it?"
She said, "It's personal.”
I said, ”If you don't tell me What it is,
I can't put it on the system.
"And if I don't put it on the system,
- "you can't see the doctor, end of."
- Yes, and?
Trench foot?
- "Concerned parent 86."
- Sorry?
Oh, this woman on our website.
Well, I assume it's a woman.
Sounds like a woman.
Keeps making all these
sort of poisonous little posts.
"In light of recent events,
”do other parents agree the Headmaster's
position has become untenable?
"Blah, blah, blah, conflict of interest.
"Whinge, whinge, whinge,
best for the school."
I mean, as if any of this is Peter's
is Mr Cole's fault.
If you ask me, he's the real victim here.
Oh, after all of you lot,
with your pictures in the paper, obviously.
Oh, Jill.
Hello.
Erm, Roxanna's not feeling very well,
so she's gonna go home.
Oh, right. And what's, erm?
What's wrong?
Er
Oh, er
I've got a free period,
so I'm gonna drive her.
Yeah, of course.
It's all getting a bit out of hand, isn't it?
Radio, internet, newspaper,
and all because of one women.
Oh, did I hear you say
that Roxanna was going home sick now?
I don't know, Karen.
That would depend on
whether you were listening in
to our conversation or not.
- No, I was not!
- Well, then, presumably
you didn't hear me say anything of the sort.
Well
Only, if she is, then I need
to update my system, do you see?
Well, if you were listening in
and you did hear me say it,
then you'd better update your system, yeah.
It's a tricky one, isn't it?
Not one word of any of this is true.
- You do know that, don't you?
- Of course I do.
Poor Roxanna.
Is she OK?
What's she said about it all?
She's fine.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Yeah, honestly.
She's good.
So, I've heard.
I read it on a toilet wall.
- It's not funny, Liam.
- It's a bit funny.
Go and get changed.
You're coming with me to visit Nana.
Me?
Why can't he go?
Because, unlike you, I have a job.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I've heard of those.
You did have another one, though,
didn't you?
A better one.
And then you packed it all in
to come back here, to Thurlbury.
Well, it's because I missed you, Liam,
so, so much.
- AW!
- Will you go and get changed?
At least the T-shirt.
What's wrong with it?
- It's got a cannabis leaf on it, you bellend.
- Who are you calling a bellend?
Anyway, she won't know what it is.
Half the time,
she doesn't even know who I am.
- Oh, lucky her!
- Liam
All right.
God!
See you tonight, then, Mum.
You don't regret it, do you?
Coming back, I mean.
Only, I do sometimes feel guilty
that maybe you just
Mum, it's OK.
Big city life wasn't for me.
I needed to get out, trust me.
I'm glad you did.
Oh
These last few months,
even/thing that's happened.
Mum going into that home and
And your dad.
I don't know how I would've got through it.
It's OK.
And you really shouldn't call your brother
a bellend, you know?
All right.
(Telephone rings)
She is, yeah.
Are you sure?
- Mrs Cole
- Mm?
- The doctor will see you now.
- Ah, thank you.
Oh
Oh
You know, Roxy,
nobody actually believes a word of it.
The kids at school don't. I don't.
And I know for a fact that you dad won't.
It's tomorrow's fish and chip paper,
that's all.
Alex hasn't even spoken to me since.
And it's not like he'd believe it.
At least, I don't think he would.
It's more likely he's worried
how it would look to his mates or something.
Oh, he's an idiot. What can I say?
He doesn't deserve you.
And if it makes you feel any better,
I happen to know that Geoff Gill in SC
has a huge crush on you.
He's eight!
Yeah, well, I'm not saying
you don't have a long wait in store.
I'm just saying you've got options.
That's better.
Don't let the buggers drag you down.
That's what my gran used to always say.
I know I'm not.
Thanks for driving me home.
What goes around
comes around, Roxy.
You'll see.
Marcus?
You're Marcus Ormansby, right?
I am, yes.
And, no, before you ask, none of my books
are based on anyone in this village.
I've already had three people stop me
this morning and
No, no, no, no, no.
Sorry, I'm Jill.
Jill Wheadon.
I'm one of the outed six, too.
The outed six?
What?
Oh, you mean you haven't?
Oh, OK.
What the?
"Radiogate"?
Are you kidding me, that stupid interview?
How is this front-page news?
Huh, welcome to Thurlbury.
If it's any consolation,
it is quite a good picture.
I'm not surprised,
it was taken about seven years ago.
Yeah, well,
mine was taken about a stone and a half ago.
So, I guess we've both been lucky
on that front.
Well, this certainly explains
all the funny looks I've been getting.
Thanks, I guess.
Actually, erm
I'm a teacher at the local primary school
and I was wondering if you might
Oh, God, I mean, say no if you like,
but, er, would you be up
for coming in sometime,
giving the kids a little talk
about writing and that?
- I'm sure they'd love it.
- I'm not exactly JK Rowling, you know?
- I doubt any of them have even heard of me.
- Oh, er
Yeah.
- I think they have.
- Fair point.
All right, sure, why not?
Oh!
I suppose us outed six
need to stick together, right?
Right.
So, hopefully,
you are now suitably reassured
that you are definitely not suffering
from a malady
that's gone generally unreported
amongst the populous since at least 1949.
- I've also got a sore throat.
- Yes, well, there's a lot of it going round.
It usually clears up within 24 hours.
But if it doesn't,
I should probably come back, like, tomorrow.
Possibly the next day.
Maybe even the day after that.
Until it clears up.
(She sighs)
You have exactly five minutes.
Carol
I am so, so semi.
- You've already said that.
- I know, I know. But I need you to
I mean, yes, I could stand here
and try to tell you that
that stupid reporter got me drunk
and then he asked me
lots of leading questions
and then he edited the whole thing together
completely out of context.
I could tn! and tell you that.
- You pretty much are.
- But I
I don't want to do that.
Even though that is the whole truth,
by the way,
I don't want to do that.
I want to make it right.
I want to fix Whatever issues
I may have caused,
completely inadvertently,
between you and your husband.
Honestly, Carol, that is all I care about.
Erm, have I
caused issues?
I'm sorry, Maggie, just to be clear,
are you actually asking me
Whether your radio announcement,
regarding my husband having
a homosexual love affair behind my back,
might possibly have caused
a teeny, tiny rift in our relationship?
Well, sort of.
But mainly how I can make it better.
I'm a good listener,
if that counts for anything.
I mean, look, regardless
of What I may or may not have said,
edited, completely out of context,
I do know that you and your husband
obviously love each other very much
Oh!
- You used to have a
- It's in the drawer.
I put it away
after every single patient that came in
started looking at it
and asking me questions.
Or worse, looked at it
and deliberately went out of the way
not to ask me questions, just
awkwardly sat there instead,
giving me that awful, sad,
sympathetic head tilt people always do.
- I hate that look.
- Mm.
Would you like to know the truth, Maggie?
-Well, I
- I think you deserve it.
And when I say that,
I don't say it in a good way.
I've got to head out.
In fact, I won't be back until closing.
The brewery's got this thing
with the suppliers.
It's gonna go on late.
- A party, is it?
- I hope not.
Look, are you gonna be all right
to handle things here, lock up and that?
Double time.
Triple.
I'm kidding, kidding.
Nah, of course I'll be all right.
You get off.
I appreciate it.
Brian
You know nobody believes that rubbish,
don't you?
OK, to put it another way
you know, if they do,
then they're just as loony as she is.
See you tomorrow.
(Children giggle)
Yeah, something tickling you all?
My mum said you married a froghorn.
I suspect she said foghorn, actually,
young Hayley.
Actually, did I hear you got a gold star
recently for your 12 times table?
Yes, sir.
Very good.
Do you know, I used to teach your mother.
And I remember she always had
a lot of trouble with the old 12 times table.
So, Why don't you get her to recite it
tonight at tea-time?
Hey?
Good girl.
Jill.
So, erm
How is she?
Roxanna.
Upset, hurt, confused.
Yeah.
And you?
So
No, no, stupid question, sorry.
It's not your fault.
I know she's texted you a dozen times.
And I know you haven't replied yet.
And I don't blame you.
Erm
Jill it's breaking her heart.
If you can just talk to her
His son?
That's right, Maggie.
That's who your friend of a friend
saw him with.
Not his lover, I'm afraid, just his son.
- You mean, from a previous marriage?
- No, I mean, from his current one.
There never was another man, Maggie, but
there is another woman.
We met at a pharmaceutical conference
he was repping it.
It started as an affair,
of which I've had many.
And then it became something else.
Something I'd always been looking for,
but never believed I could have.
A family-free, child-free,
completely committed,
non-committed relationship.
And marriage, of a son.
I think the word you're currently clawing
your brain for here, Maggie, is bigamy.
Care-free, victimless,
Monday-to-Friday bigamy.
Not in the legal sense, of course.
He was never actually my husband.
But move a ring one finger down and, er
people stop asking questions.
Of course, that's all over now, isn't it?
Your edited, out-of—context interview
has seen to that.
He chose me.
And now I've got even/Thing I never wanted.
Just
him and me forever and ever
till nervous breakdown do us part.
Oh, that's some hot gossip for you, isn't it?
Juicier than any you got
your 15 minutes of fame over.
Will I be seeing it on Loose Women
tomorrow afternoon?
I don't
I
I won't tell a soul.
Oh, I know you won't.
And it's going to absolutely kill you, isn't it?
Well
I think that's our time up.
(She resumes typing)
(Door closes)
(Doorbell rings)
Er, Christopher, isn't it?
Is your mum home?
Hello.
- (Doorbell chimes)
- So, what did she actually say, then, Mum?
Nothing.
Well, she can't have just sat there in silence.
She must've said something.
Well, she told me I don't have trench foot.
Oh, well, there we go, then.
Every cloud, eh?
PETER: Er, Maggie
Jill
Right, I think we should
Yeah.
Come on, come on.
Jill
Peter thought that I should come
and talk to you.
I don't see the point, myself.
I mean, what can you saw
I'm
sorry?
But
I am sorry.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure you are.
After all
you've come out of this
a lot worse than I have.
Have you, er
still got that notebook?
All the stuff you were planning for Thurlbury's
big anniversary celebrations.
- Er, well, yes, I have, but
- Good.
I think it might be better if you give it to me.
You don't really think that you can still do it,
do you?
Not now.
Surely, even you don't think that.
But I'm
Thurlbury's local historian.
You run a gift shop, Maggie.
You just run a gift shop.
Can I have the notebook?
Yeah.
Thank you.
I'll see myself out.
(Front door closes)
- Well
- Well, that was pretty brutal.
Mum
Are you OK?
No.
No, I'm not OK.
Pissed off is what I am.
I'm pig bloody sick of it!
All of it!
I did nothing wrong!
Well, all right, yes,
technically, I did do something wrong.
But I'm not the one
who stuck it on the radio.
I didn't twittle about it on the internet.
I didn't splash it all over the newspaper.
I'm not gonna be made to feel like a pariah
in my own village.
In fact, do you know what we're going to do?
We're going to go out there, all of us.
We are going to walk to the pub
with our heads held high.
We're going in there,
we're gonna sit down,
we're gonna have a drink, as a family,
just like normal!
What do you mean, like normal?
We have literally never done that ever.
Well, maybe it's high time we did.
Yeah.
(Front door closes)
I think you're probably going to have to spend
the next 40 years of your life
trying to make it up to her.
And at least a quarter of that
sleeping in the spare bedroom.
But we've both agreed
that's Where your home is.
She's waiting for you now.
-And us?
- Alan
you know that this would never work.
You know that this was never the deal.
You love me.
I love you.
You love her.
That was what worked.
I mean, everyone thinks I'm the victim here.
That's not a role I can play.
No more than I can play the role
you need in your life from here on out.
We both know that.
(Bar-room charter)
(Room falls silent)
Is it just me
or does it feel like somewhere
a piano player just abruptly stopped playing?
OK, if you
you can get them in?
- Yeah.
- And I'll just find a table.
- This one's free.
- The one right in the middle?
Yes, the one right in the middle.
Yes.
All right, sir?
Oh, Liam, you got a job.
No.
The girlfriend asked us to give her a hand
while the boss man's away on business.
Actually, after what I've been reading, it's
- it's lucky for you that he is.
- Oh, you can read now, can you?
Ah, well done.
I knew you'd master it eventually.
- What?
- Two and a half pints of Thurlbury
and a rum and Coke, please.
That's perfect.
I,erm
I don't know, Neil.
The numbers look wrong.
It's a different, like, thingy, font.
What?
Nobody's gonna notice that.
It's basically just for show.
The hard part is over.
She might not know it,
but Maggie Cole's seen to that.
It can't be a lie
if even/one already believes it now, can it?
Well, at least everyone's stopped staring now.
Well, most of them have.
Well, those two have.
Actually, Mum,
I think they're German tourists.
Let them stare as well, if they want.
Who cares, you know?
So, it was the right move.
Yeah.
It really was, Mum.
Oh, yeah, it's not awkward at all.
What?
I said it wasn't awkward.
Oh, God.
What's she doing in the pub?
She's a doctor.
It's fine.
I doubt she'll even want to come
And here she comes.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Maggie.
- Carol.
I just want you to know
that everything you said was true.
- I don't really
- I got the whole story out of him tonight.
He was living a lie
and he made me a pan of it.
So, he's gone.
Oh, erm
Now, don't get me wrong, you had no right
to discuss my life in public like that.
No right.
But
if you hadn't, then
I suppose I never would've found out
the truth.
So, as far as I'm concerned
that's the end of it.
- How's your sore throat?
- Oh, er
Yes, lovely, thank
Better. Much better.
Glad to hear it.
Mm.
Well, that was nice, wasn't it?
Now, I bet you're glad you came, aren't you?
So, the doc's fella
really was doing the dirty on her, then, eh?
Apparently.
Kind of makes you wonder
What else she was right about, don't it?
No.
It doesn't.
Oh
Hey, come on.
Baby steps, just like you said.
You know, one down, five to go.
And let's be honest here, she was probably
always gonna be the hardest one.
Probably, yeah.
I'm gonna go on up.
OK.
I am so sorry, Kelly.
I really am.
I mean, there was a woman who
called me yesterday from the Daily Mirror.
Daily Minot/2?
What exactly did they ask
about our family?
What's to ask? What's to tell?
No skeletons in our closet,
thank you very much.
I've managed to arrange
for Marcus Ormansby to come in.
You do know his books are 21” Violence,
murder and death?
Come on, let's get out of here before she
insists on giving you a full cavity search, too.
Disgusting!
I've got your money.
Do you not think
it's a little bit too late for all that?
- Maggie, what is it? What's wrong?
- Everything is wonderful!
The most amazing news!
Text me, yeah?
You mean, you and Marcus?
- What am I gonna find there?
- A gun.
KELLY: It's got to be drugs, hasn't it?
Some kind of drop off.
We have to call the police.
Do we?