The Unreal (2024) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Smell that fresh country air.
How long do we have to stay here?
This is all your fault!
Hey Dad, look what I found.
It's a videotape.
It's how we used to watch movies
before streaming and downloads.
Hello?
We're the Kellys.
I'm the caretaker.
I was just wondering if you had any
old VHS players in the holiday park.
There is one in the shed.
A warning:
That is not just a mountain.
In the olden days, it was known
as a fairy fort,
home to the mischievous
fairies of yore.
Did you eat all of our
treats last night?
It wasn't me.
Why does no-one in this family
ever believe me?
Are Pookas real?
What?
It's from the video I found.
It's hard to explain, but
maybe I could show you?
(Theme music gets louder)
(Music fades out)
Holy cabbage. (TV sound in
background) What?
Last time I watched his video,
I swear the Pooka was in it,
but now he's gone!
How is that possible?
I'm not following.
I can't believe it.
But there's only one possible
explanation:
The Pooka escaped from this video
into the real world and
ate all our treats.
You know, you can always tell
me if there's something up.
I know. I am.
Something IS up!
The Pooka is real, and
it's on the loose.
Kevin,
your Ma
your Ma thinks you've been acting up
because we haven't been
spending enough time together.
What? No, this has nothing
to do with that.
Will you just watch the video?
That's what I said to her.
But you know what she's like with
all this touchy-feely stuff?
Well, glad we had this chat, Kevin.
You know, I've just been a bit
tired the last few days.
That's all.
Probably not enough vitamin C
Or D
E???
Dad, I don't think you're
listening to me.
Look,
there's no such thing as the Pooka.
This is just a silly kid
show from the eighties.
Are you not a bit old for this?
It's real. The Pooka is real!
I'm gonna prove it to you.
(Creepy music)
(Katie sighs heavily)
(Music gets louder)
(Rustling and footsteps)
(Music stopped suddenly)
(She laughs to herself)
Relax, Katie.
There's
no such thing as ghosts.
Don't. You. Touch. That!
This cake is not for us.
It's for dinner with Robbie
and Priya tomorrow night.
Are you all listening?
Yeah.
You may be the chef in the house,
but this is off limits.
Here.
Now, no picking at my cake.
Ok?
Remember to hide the rest of them.
Hey, Mum, can I ask you something?
What?
I have a plan, to prove
the Pooka is real
and make you all feel like rubbish
for not believing me.
But to do it,
I need my phone.
I said no.
But how else am I supposed to prove
my innocence? No means no.
You look like a serial killer.
Is it a crime to want
healthy-looking pores?
(Quiet suspenseful music starts)
(Distant owl call)
(The music gets more intense)
(Small rattle,
and a gentle plop sound)
(Intense music)
(The drums sound like a heartbeat)
(Music begins to sound hypnotic)
(He yawns loudly)
(Kevin jolts awake with a gasp)
(The swing squeaks)
(Scary music)
(The swing still squeaks.)
(Mysterious music builds)
(Sudden noise!
Kevin gasps.)
(Kevin's footsteps, running away.)
(Music ends)
What's up with you?
(Whispers) I saw it last night.
Saw what?
The Pooka!
It escaped from the video I watched
and now it's real.
You can drop the act, Kevin.
Mum and Dad aren't here.
Why do you hate me so much?
You used to be fun.
You never play with me anymore,
you just stare at your
stupid phone instead.
Yeah, well,
you used to not be such
a lying little weirdo.
(Spoon drops into the bowl)
(Chair scrapes the floor)
(Door slam)
(Relaxed music starts)
(Twigs snapping)
Mr Kelly from cabin three.
How are we today?
By any chance -
have you seen a mobile phone round?
No, sorry love.
Rest assured, if it shows up,
I'll keep it for you.
Thanks.
Can I ask you a question?
Have you seen anything
strange lately?
Oh,
you've seen him too.
That little fella, He's uncanny.
Yeah. Wow. I thought maybe I was the
only person who could see him.
I was afraid to say anything in case
they thought I'd lost my marbles and
threw me in the loony bin - again.
But how, how has this happened?
How did he get here?
Well, he got the coach from Kerry.
Sorry, who're you talking about?
The little man staying in cabin 8.
He wears shoes with no socks and his
arms are covered in tattoos.
Gives me the willies, he does!
That not who you're talking about?
Who are you talking about, then?
Promise you won't think I'm crazy?
(Gentle music starts)
So I got a fright and dropped
my phone and ran.
And that's why I'm looking
for it now.
I know it sounds crazy.
I have something to show you.
Come on.
(Music)
The mountain where the shed is
built is no normal mountain.
It's actually a fairy mound
said to be a magical portal
to the land of Faerie.
Local legends talk of how
mischievous fairies could escape
from the land of Faerie and into our
world by passing through mirrors.
(The book slams shut)
What if your Pooka is actually a
fairy
who escaped from his world into ours
through the television screen?
(She pours a fizzy drink)
This is all the refreshment
I have, I'm afraid.
Thanks! Mum never lets me have
red lemonade.
Our little secret.
So you believe me?
More than that.
I'm going to help you.
Together, we'll hunt down that
unnatural creature
and send him back to where he came
from.
What do you say?
Come on, Tom.
We should be there at five
and you're not even dressed.
I am dressed!
That's not even funny.
Go and put on a shirt and slacks.
Slacks?!
Hey, tell me how good I look.
You look great, Mum.
Oh no! Chocolate cake!
Why did it have to be chocolate cake?
What are you muttering about?
Mum! Chocolate cake is the Pooka's
favourite food.
He'll be drawn to it like
a bee to honey.
Doesn't the bee make the honey?
Why is he drawn to something
he makes?
That's not important.
I think you should leave
the cake here.
Now, that's funny!
I'm serious!
Now, you're in charge and I don't
want to hear from either of yiz,
unless the cabin is on fire.
Understood?
Understood.
And under no circumstances are you
to let Kevin out of your sight.
But, Mum!
OK, OK, get it. Mum!
Is that alright?
No mention that you got fired
from your job, Ok? Wha'?
And did I mention you're an
architect, not a chef?
Eh, I'm a what, I'm an architect?
Let's go. I've got a new job, kids!
What do you mean I'm an architect?
Can't build a Lego house, never mind
a real house!
I don't know about anything
about architecting!
(The door closes)
Sit!
and shut it.
(An eerie bird call)
This is so good.
I've never even heard of
cauliflower churros.
It's super delicious.
I'll give you the recipe.
So Tom, Mary mentioned
you're an architect.
Yeah, yeah -
Oh, I love architecting, me!
I tell you, I'd architect, all day
if I had the chance. (They laugh)
But you're not working at the moment?
No
I was up until Tom is just
taking some time
to work on his own passion projects.
So important to make time
for what matters to you. Yeah.
So what is your passion, Tom?
Oh, see
The one problem
I have with, um, modern architecture
is that there's
it's just not, there's not enough
wheels.
Wheels?
Yeah.
I'm telling you, the Pooka
is gonna go after Mum's chocolate
cake.
We need to stop him.
You sound totally nuts.
Why does no one ever listen to me?
Because you sound totally nuts.
Fine. I give up. You win.
I'm going to my room to
read for the night.
(Door slams)
(Tinny music from Katie's earbuds)
(The bedroom door squeaks open)
(Dramatic music)
(Suitcase slides across the floor)
(It slides again)
(Bump)
(Pots and pans clatter to the floor)
(Tinny music from Katie's earbuds)
(Kevin's stealthy footsteps)
(Muffled chat from inside)
(Dramatic music)
(Chatter continues)
(Music continues)
(Creaks)
(Chat with glasses clinking)
(Sound effect of Pooka's arm
stretching)
(Patio door slides open)
(Kevin gasps)
(He falls to the floor,
dropping the cake)
Kevin.
I'm so sorry, Priya.
This is my soon-to-be very-punished
son!
I could give you an explanation, but
I know you won't like it, so I won't.
(Door slams)
One night! Just one night where I
could relax and enjoy myself and not
have to run around after you all.
That's all I wanted!
(Whispered) I hope you're happy.
You were supposed to
be babysitting him.
I gave you strict instructions.
But Mum -
you know what he's like
He's a ninja! I turned my back for
two seconds and he was gone.
You didn't even care I was going.
(Whispered) Shut up, loser!
Mum, I was trying to help, honestly.
Kevin, that's enough, alright?
You weren't much better!
Not enough wheels on your house?
What was all that about?
I was improvising. You're the one
who said that I was an architect.
Oh, now you have a problem with
telling lies, when it matters to me?
What's that supposed to mean?
Oh, come on, Tom.
You've been lying to yourself for
the last month
that everything is fine.
Well, I've had enough.
I can't take this anymore.
My whole life is nothing
but stress and work.
And you wouldn't even
give me one night.
Can I just say one thing?
If the next words out of your
mouth include the word Pooka,
I will not be liable for my actions.
Never mind.
I'm sick of the sight of ya.
I don't want to hear another word
out of the Kelly family
until I've calmed down.
Is that clear?
Right.
(She stomps away)
Actually.
I'm taking this!
(She stomps off again,
slamming the door.)
That was my bar.
(Gentle music and birdsong)
Don't give up, Mister Kelly.
I'm sure you'll get it eventually.
It doesn't matter.
I'm only doing hurling so
the other boys will like me.
What's the matter?
I tried to stop the Pooka last night,
but I ended up ruining
my Mum's night out.
Everyone hates me.
Oh, I'm sure that's not true.
No one likes me.
I don't fit in.
Don't say that.
You were trying to stop
an evil creature -
you're a good boy.
Don't let anyone say otherwise.
I hit a boy in school.
Got suspended.
But I told everyone that
he started it.
Why did you hit him?
I dunno. He called me stupid.
Well, obviously that's not
the right thing to do.
But you were standing up for
yourself.
Sometimes to do good,
you have to be a bit bad.
Everyone thinks I'm stupid -
even my own Mum.
Oh, don't mind them.
Sure, my family thinks
I'm as daft as a brush too.
If I did better in school, I think
maybe Mum and Dad wouldn't
argue all the time,
and Dad wouldn't be so sad.
Kevin, listen to me.
You can't blame yourself for
your parents' problems.
It doesn't work that way.
Now, how are we going to
catch this Pooka?
I don't think we'll ever find him.
Oh, nonsense.
I have an idea.
Come with me.
There's only one way into this shed.
My plan is - you hide behind the
door
while I keep watch from the cabin.
We lure the Pooka inside, I signal
to you to shut the doors
and (she claps her hands)
Bingo: trapped Pooka!
How do we signal to each other?
So
Cool! You have to press on the
button there to talk,
and then when you're finished, you
say "over", so I know it's my turn.
Hello? Can you hear me?
Over.
No, you've to hold the button
down while you're talking
Like this? Hellooo?
(Walkie talkie feedback)
Yes, but now you have to let
it go, or I can't hear you.
But I thought I had to hold it down
to talk. Yes, you're right, dear,
but then you have to let it
go so you can listen.
(More feedback)
You shouldn't put it in your
pocket or it'll press the
talk button and I can't call you.
You should switch it off first.
Everyone's right
I am stupid.
Listen to me.
You are not stupid.
You and me, we just think different.
We know there's more to life than
what you read in the books.
There are things we catch at the
corner of our eyes
or hear whispering
in the woods at night
things like the Pooka.
So why don't you go practise
and tonight we'll put our
plan into action.
And when we catch him, they'll
all see, won't they?
(Walkie talkie noise)
(Gentle music and water sounds)
Hey!
it's only me.
I popped out to the shops earlier
and I made you some French toast.
I'm not hungry.
Thought you might say that,
so we also made your favourite.
It's 11 o'clock in the morning.
Aren't you on the holidays?
(She sighs)
I didn't say I wouldn't have it.
I'm still angry.
Of course.
Am I supposed to eat
it with my hands?
One fork coming up.
Hah!
(He whispers) No.
(He exhales loudly)
Hello?
This is Kevin. Over
(Strange music)
(Footsteps)
Emergency.
I-- it's the Pooka. He's here now.
Hello?
(The walkie talkie falls.)
(Dramatic music continues)
"You dropped this."
Oh. Eh
Thanks?
"How do you leave an eejit
in suspense?"
What? I? I don't understand.
"I'll tell you tomorrow."
Oh, it's a joke.
Hey, is that my Dad's watch?
He was looking for that.
What-- what are you?
"I'm the Pooka."
Hey, I know that.
But like, where are you from?
"Pookaville."
OK, but that's not a real place.
Is it? That's just made up.
Oh!
You don't know, do you?
You're not real.
"You're not real."
No, I am real.
You're not real.
See, I watched this video about you
in an old shed that was built
on a magic fairy hill.
And because of that, you
got out of the video.
"You smell like cheese."
Do you understand what I'm saying?
You're not real!
"You're a fibber."
No, it's true.
If I had the video, I could show
you where you escaped from.
"I don't want to play
with you anymore."
No, wait.
Come back.
I can prove it's true.
Uh, hi.
I'm sorry for fighting last night and
for calling you a human Oompa Loompa.
Did I actually call you that or did
I just think it? Never mind.
Anyways, I'm sorry,
but I need a favour.
Can you bring me to the shed?
Mum would kill me if
I went on my own.
So I'll stop making fun
of your videos and
Ok!
Wait, really?
I was editing my videos from
yesterday and I found this.
That's it, isn't it?
That's the Pooka!
Yeah, I told you I wasn't lying!
You don't need to be afraid.
He doesn't mean any harm, I think.
Afraid? I'm not afraid.
I'm delighted.
This could be a whole new
online brand for me.
Katie Kelly:
Makeup tutorials
and monster hunting.
This isn't all about you and
your stupid Instagram.
I could start my own
YouTube channel.
This is serious.
The Pooka escaped from the video
I played and now
he won't believe me unless
I show him the Pooka tape
Or a podcast.
I could start my own podcast!
I told your Ma we'd play a board
game later
to make up for last night, Ok?
Sure.
What are you guys doing?
Nothing. Nothing.
OK
What secrets does this dusty old
shed hold?
A mystical portal
to another dimension?
A haunted house of vengeful spirits?
Katie Kelly is here to investigate.
Katie!
What?
Katie, come here.
What's wrong with you?
Is that us?
What the hell?
(End credit music)