The Unremarkable Juanquini (2020) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Abracadabra!
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
It worked out!
Bravo!
It's incredible!
You can't imagine how much
I dreamed that that trick would work out.
And it did work out
under those circumstances.
I was very unlucky, wasn't I?
Or very lucky.
Look
We know from a reliable source
it isn't the first time
you worked for Ñato Orduz.
We also know that you performed
at his son's birthday party.
- When?
- Don't fool me. Three days ago.
I've never seen that man before.
Do you have another video?
No, but we are looking for that evidence.
You were hired by the son and heir
of one of the most wanted
drug traffickers in this country!
- Who?
- Orduz the Corrupt.
Oh, my God.
The problem is not that he hired you.
The problem is that you helped him escape,
which automatically makes you
his accomplice.
So, start telling us where Ñato is,
or you'll stay here until you're
prosecuted for criminal conspiracy,
collusion and some other things.
Talk, clown.
- We have the right to see him!
- Stop!
- We have!
- Calm down!
Please don't speak, Dad.
- You have the right to a lawyer.
- Mónica.
- What?
- Be quiet.
- But why?
- They'll think we are accomplices.
- Mónica, calm down!
- He must be inside that room.
That circus over there
is the man's family.
What will we do with them?
- Have you already questioned them?
- Of course.
They have the same version as Juanquini.
They don't know
about the disappearance? So weird.
They want to speak to their dad.
- What do we do?
- Let them in.
I really need to talk to the tigress.
And it turns out that
that kid is Orduz's son.
But that man is dead!
But his son inherited his dad's
business, and I made him disappear
So, I am his accomplice.
It's terrible,
but let me tell you something.
- What?
- What a trick.
How did you do it? Congratulations.
- Mónica!
- What?
- Mónica!
- What's up, Margot?
Don't you know that with that trick
we could be millionaires?
- Really?
- Of course.
Don't you know how many criminals
would pay millions for that trick?
Yes, but the issue is that
he wasn't able to make him reappear.
You ruin your business,
and he ruins his life.
They're going to leave me here.
The worst is that I will be taken to a
maximum-security block till all is clear.
"Life Sucks."
- What?
- That's the title of my new song.
- Do you want to listen to it, Dad?
- Yes, sure.
No!
We can't listen to it now, Sami!
Tell me, do you know where Orduz is?
No, I have no idea! If I knew,
I would've told the police,
and we would be at home.
And the worst is that
Do you know what is done to people
in those maximum-security blocks?
- They are raped.
- And tortured.
- No.
- They get their testicles cut off.
Calm down.
If there are mean people there,
I can also be mean.
I am not going to get scared.
I come from North Jardín
- Norte.
- Where many are born,
few grow up, and paleness is not
- Hungry.
- Ours.
For one tough man, one and a half!
I will be killed. I will be raped.
I will be destroyed.
Very well. Let's talk like honest people,
looking into each other's eyes,
face-to-face,
and mainly telling the truth.
Do you suspect someone at home?
I suspect, sir, my sister.
The lady never thought that her dad
could be involved in monkey business,
in dishonest business?
Of course not, because I am the only one
in the family with business vision.
The best you can do
is collaborate with justice.
And that is what we want to do.
My husband doesn't know
what happened, and I believe him,
because I was there.
She never ever loved Matías.
Can we leave now?
Or are you also arresting us?
And who is Matías?
The cat.
Hold this.
Face this way.
NAME: JUAN MORALES
CRIME: DISAPPEARANCE
Put your hand here.
Did you cook this, Mom?
Without your dad,
we'll have to take turns cooking, guys.
Things are what they are
because they are not what they were
when they were what they are,
now that they are what they were.
What's that deep thought?
Is that the beginning of a new song, dear?
It's a strophe from my new single,
"You Destroyed Everything in Me."
I'm so glad to hear
your inspiration is back, Samuelito.
Well, it's not such a great inspiration.
No, come on, I don't want
to start arguing again.
In case you don't remember,
your dad is in prison.
So we should be closer than ever.
We have to find a lawyer for your dad.
But that is expensive, Mom.
That's why I was thinking
I don't know your opinion,
but what about Ms. Belén's son, Faryala?
- Lives in the area, knows everyone.
- What?
- Yes, he is also Juan's friend.
- No.
I am absolutely against it,
or did you forget he is Helena's dad?
And because of her, I almost
threw myself off the balcony.
Well, I'm so sorry.
Because given the situation, we need him.
- Right, Mom?
- Well, yes.
Enjoy your meal, kids.
Coffee?
At your service.
Is this the guy who helped
Ñato Orduz escape the police?
- It depends.
- On what?
On who is asking.
Someone who doesn't like Ñato's friends.
Well, yes, my friend.
I am the magician who helped
Ñato escape the police.
I am prepared to repeat the trick
if I feel forced to get rid of some guy
who comes to my cell
boasting of being tough.
Easy!
I'm passing through.
I don't want any trouble.
I want you to keep something in mind.
Ñato Orduz's arm is very long,
so long, that in order to defend
his friends, it could reach this prison.
And guess what? Ñato owes me his life.
Now I need to rest. Go away.
Get out!
I loved her so much.
I gave her everything:
my soul, my feelings, my touch.
My ventricles.
And my whole body.
What for, Mom?
To go after Milena, with the first smile
she got from that woman?
- She did what?
- You didn't know, Mrs. Margot?
Who knows what the albino lizard
did to the poor girl,
and she replaced him
with someone else, a female.
Oh, Margocita.
How nice to see you.
Samuelito, why have you never come back?
Did Helena do something to you? Tell me.
- So, you don't know about
- Mónica
It's better not to meddle
in young people's affairs, right?
So what brings you here?
Problems, Faryala. Problems.
Don't tell me
it's about the roving Juanquini.
- Yes.
- And what has he done now?
I have been speaking with my bosses.
And before this gets
to the district attorney's office,
we would like to offer you a deal,
but not any deal.
- A good deal, one that makes you talk.
- How can I convince you, González,
that I had nothing to do
with what happened? It was an accident!
Very well.
I will introduce you to somebody
in order to refresh your memory.
Prieto, prison undercover agent.
Do you remember me?
Everything I told this man was a lie.
And I did it to defend myself,
because I thought he was there to hurt me.
Let's get serious.
Are you a magician or a clown?
- A magician.
- Very well.
Then start talking, clown!
Because with all we have
thanks to what agent Prieto told us,
we will be able to send you
to prison for some time, or rather,
a very long time, so that you can see
what real hell looks like.
Talk!
- What's up?
- Captain, the prisoner's lawyer is here.
It's the last time I pay for the taxi!
You have to make money!
- I make money. I'm making great hits.
- Okay, enough.
- Mónica
- Stop arguing!
Come on, family, what's going on?
- Hello, my boy.
- Why that face?
Honey, I've been calling you
since yesterday.
We have a big problem.
Well, but no more bad news,
because I have good news.
An aunt of the sister-in-law
of my cousin Nicolas' half-brother
- Sandrita?
- Yesterday she called a multinational,
and they are interested
in the loofah business!
Juancho, you really don't know
where you put that guy?
I swear! I have no idea.
I am 100 percent sure, because it was
my first time doing the trick.
- Well, second time, to be honest.
- Second time?
Something went wrong,
and now I got into this mess.
"This mess"? What's worse is
that what you told me
about that undercover policeman will
- You confessed.
- You are my lawyer.
Tell me something a bit more promising.
Look, Juancho,
I will make it clear for you.
I will be very honest with you.
- You'd better plead guilty.
- No.
Yes, and you accept the benefits
of collaboration with justice
and advance punishment.
No, you can't tell me that.
You are my lawyer.
I can't plead guilty,
because I am innocent, and you know it.
And I can't collaborate with justice,
because I don't know anything!
I don't know anything either,
but we invent it.
No, you are clever, I know you.
No means no, end of story.
Juancho, I'll make it clear for you.
Follow my advice, or you'll be part
of a long, complex and expensive process.
The question is, can you afford it?
- No.
- Small-time criminal.
- What?
- What?
- Small-time criminal?
- What?
Shit!
Fuck!
- What happened, Captain?
- We lost track of the family.
No, but the dealer's family
is all we have to catch him.
They canceled their cell phones, took
the kid out of school, have not been home.
We have no idea where they are.
We are so fucked!
What are we going to do, Captain?
"What are we going to do, Captain?"
What about the magician?
The magician won't talk.
Because we have stuck
to that fucking protocol.
But I think it's time to step out of it.
Old-school.
I just talked to my boss,
- and you know how he gets.
- Yes.
We have 24 hours
to get him some information.
He says something, or we are fucked.
- The gringos are putting pressure on?
- Yes, and badly.
So tonight we'll pay a visit to Juanquini
and we'll give him two options.
- He talks
- Or talks.
Or sings!
"Or sings."
- So Juan is in prison?
- Since yesterday evening.
Then I don't know if we should
discuss the multinational affair.
Of course we should.
What we need here now is money.
Well, then listen carefully.
The aunt of the sister-in-law
of my cousin Nicolas' half-brother
has a contact abroad, a high executive,
one Fran or something like that.
The guy works
in the Ministry of Foreign Trade,
and he called his ex-wife,
who works at a personal cleaning products
company, right?
- Yes.
- No.
That's okay. The point is
the parent company is based in New York.
They called the imports area.
"Hi, how are you?"
"There are some people making loofahs
in Colombia," and they seem interested.
Very good, my boy!
But I'll tell you what.
Remember, don't ever go
to do business without me again,
because I'm the CEO of this company,
and don't ever forget it!
And why do you think I'm here, my love?
Because this afternoon
you'll have a video call.
- A video call?
- Yes.
The phone! It must be Faryala to tell us
some news about your dad.
- We'll see.
- What?
So, if I understand correctly, Faryala,
you want Juan to plead guilty
to something that he didn't do?
- And you are going to convince him.
- Do you think I'm crazy or what, Faryala?
Don't you see that it's the perfect
opportunity to continue what we paused
after you had the bad idea
of marrying that loser?
Don't tell me you don't miss
these hands on that body,
and the great time we had together.
Listen, Roberto,
I know I was very stupid in the past,
and I've never regretted my naughty days,
but since I got married,
I'm a house-proud woman,
who loves her husband and children.
So let's focus, and you devote yourself
to proving Juan is not guilty.
Well, then let's make it clear.
Juan did make the dealer disappear
when the police was about to catch him.
I told you that it was an accident!
I was there, it was an accident!
Really? Do you have any evidence?
Because I don't.
Right.
I'm thinking that this case
is too big for you.
That's the problem, right?
The business is too big for you.
Give me my money back.
Sorry?
Give me my money back, Faryala.
I don't think you understand
how this business works, miss.
Here, we bill for each inquiry done,
and it's nonrefundable, and you know why?
Because this is not a local shop.
First, call me "madam."
And give me my money back.
Or I'll stick this justice in your head,
and sue you for sexual harassment.
Let's see if this local shop
is finally closed down. You choose.
My money.
DO WE NEED MORE LAWYERS?
Hey, clown, come with me.
- Where?
- "Where"? We need to talk.
- Now?
- Are you too busy, or what?
- No, but we can talk here.
- We can't.
- Why?
- Because I don't want to!
That's a good reason. Where's my lawyer?
This is a friendly chat
between you and me.
Now, you have two options: you come
with me the easy way or the hard way.
Take that off!
Okay, easy.
Okay, I'll go! But don't hurt me.
Guard, stay alert.
Mónica, did you cook this?
It was the least I could do,
after your breakfast this morning.
It's a pity, but I don't feel well.
Why is that?
- We have no lawyer for your dad anymore.
- Why?
Well, the case was too big for Faryala.
At last, some good news, Mom!
For Samuel's sake,
these people should be far away!
- At least he gave us the money back.
- How so?
He understood, and gave me the money back.
Don't worry, every cloud
has a silver lining. He is a fraud.
But he is the only lawyer we can afford.
It's a very expensive service.
- And we have no money.
- No.
Don't worry, Mrs. Margot.
Hire the best lawyer. I'll pay for him.
Don't laugh.
Mom, the project is a sure thing now.
I spoke with the multinational,
and we'll get paid,
and you won't believe how much money.
Is that project a good business?
A good business? You bet it is.
We are the post-digital age pioneers.
Back to the roots.
We are kind of priests
of ecological profitability.
And with that money, why don't you
produce a record for Samuelito?
I can collaborate,
but he has to let me do it.
No way, dear.
I don't negotiate my music, it's sacred.
Sacred? It makes you slit your wrists.
No, he writes popular music, pop.
Popular? Samuel writes anything
but popular music, Mom.
You know what?
I don't give a testicle what you think.
I won't let such a peddler
tell me how to write music.
I do art.
You see? Then don't say
I am not willing to help.
Okay, let's stop arguing.
The important thing
is that we can pay for a lawyer to release
Juan from prison and solve our situation.
That's very important.
Yeah.
Eat, Margocita.
I require my lawyer to be present.
Look, small-time criminal.
Call me anything
but small-time criminal.
- Okay, clown.
- Magician.
Magician, clown!
Fire-eater, sword-swallower,
small-time criminal!
- I can call you whatever I want!
- It's different. I can explain.
I already tried
to do things by fair means.
So now we'll try the hard way.
You can get into trouble.
I'm already in serious trouble.
I think you made a mistake.
Last chance before the party begins!
So tell me
Where is Ñato Orduz?
Captain
What a miracle. To what do I owe
such a respectable visit, Mr. Lawyer?
I'm trying to stop you
from making a mistake, Captain.
I'm here to represent Mr. Juan Morales.
I guess you know who he is.
What a pity,
but his lawyer was already here.
- Well, there was a change.
- Really?
Well, visiting hours are over.
You're right, I'm sorry. I'll leave, then.
But this should be a problem for you, too.
An interrogation at this time,
in this place, and under these conditions,
is a flagrant irregularity, Captain.
As far as I know, you already have
some open disciplinary proceedings.
Would you like to add a very serious
third one? I wouldn't take the risk.
So I'll leave.
Or I stay.
Mr. Quiroz, thank you so much
for arriving at the precise moment.
- We have eyes everywhere.
- I can imagine.
I would prefer that you
didn't get involved in this.
You are too linked to Mr. Ñato Orduz.
And if you come here now as my lawyer,
the police will have no doubt
about my dealings with that man.
You need a lawyer.
But I have one.
That's the good thing, I have one.
- You had.
- What?
Your wife fired him. As I said, we have
eyes everywhere and want to protect you.
You should be ready, because we are
arranging everything to release you soon.
I don't want to be released.
Of course I want to be released,
but after proving that I am not guilty.
Not because you release me who knows how.
You should think about it, Mr. Morales.
Proving you're not guilty
will be very difficult.
The charges against you could keep you
in prison for a very long time.
And we can help you.
Why are you so interested in me?
Because we need you to tell us
where Mr. Orduz is.
Subtitle translation by Claudia Massa