The Worst Witch (2017) s01e02 Episode Script
Tabby
1 Look! - Looks just like her.
Send it to me! - How do I do that? Just write my name on it and tap it three times.
See? It even says who it's from.
I love magic.
She's here.
Who? The new girl, Enid Nightshade.
Come on! I don't get it, why is this new girl such a big deal? That's why! I knew we should have approached in stealth mode.
They want a show, let's give them a show.
Let's go.
That's her, that's Enid.
"Look at me, my parents are famous!" What a show- off! Wow! Double chanting in five minutes.
Don't be late! I do hope you'll be happy here, Enid.
She's here to learn.
Make sure you do! Well met, Mistress Nightshade.
Well met, Mr.
Nightshade.
Welcome to Cackle's Academy.
And this must be Enid.
Well met.
If you'd like to follow me.
Come on, Millie, we're going to be late.
And I heard they use semi- gold cauldrons.
Don't be stupid, Drusilla.
Gold cauldrons would melt.
I'm sorry, Ethel, I can be really thick sometimes.
It's not your fault.
It's just everyone's making such a fuss about Enid Nightshade and her stupid parents.
T- Totally.
You're so right.
Well met.
I'm Ethel Hallow.
Hey, Ethel.
- Hi.
- Welcome to Cackle's.
If there's anything you need to know, I'm the best witch in Year One.
Are you? Yes.
I should be head of year.
Miss Hardbroom said so.
Come with me.
I'll get you your chanting book.
Mildred, would you like to share the joke? Um No! No! Maud Spellbody! Miss Cackle's office, now! Y- You mean you want me to go and see her? Build this girl a gingerbread house.
Out! Leave that thing here.
Maglets are to be used for work, not silly jokes.
As head of Year One, you need to set a better example.
Yes, Miss Cackle.
Unless you want me to appoint Ethel Hallow instead? Ethel? No, you can't do that to us.
I noticed you said "us," not "me.
" That's a good start! Being a leader isn't about being the best.
It's about looking after your team, bringing them closer together.
I notice you Year One girls tend to congregate under the main staircase.
Well, we don't have a proper common room, so it's sort of our place.
Sort of? It is our place.
I suppose if I made it better, that would bring us together, wouldn't it? Now that sounds like the sort of thing a leader would do.
Eye of toad in a vat Tooth of wolf, tail of cat Louder, girls! I can't hear you! Thigh of dog, skin of worm Leg of frog Drop them in Stir it up Pour it in a silver cup! Mildred Hubble.
You are making a mockery of the witching culture.
No, no, it's just Enid! - You were making fun of the new girl? - No, um - Miss Bat.
Miss Bat.
- Yes? Perhaps Enid needs someone to look after her, to show her around, to help her settle in? An excellent idea.
OK, thank you.
I choose Mildred.
- Her? - Me! No, no, I don't think that's a good idea at all.
I don't understand.
Miss Cackle told Mummy that every single girl here is a hardworking, talented witch.
Did she say that? Oh! Well, in that case, Mildred, from now on Enid is your responsibility.
I'll show you the potions lab and Later.
There's something I have to do first.
Mildred Hubble is so fake, sucking up to Enid just 'cause she's a witch.
Yeah.
Maud won't be happy when she finds out.
Maud? Maud, who took my place as head of year? What are you doing? "I hope it went OK with Cackle.
Sorry I can't meet this lunchtime.
Have to show Enid around.
See you later.
" Why are you reading Maud's messages? They're not Maud's now.
They're mine! And we can send messages to Mildred and she'll think they're from Maud.
They can't have gone.
Dad always stays for one last goodbye.
Not this time.
You should be in class.
It's from Ethel.
"Meet me by the stairs ASAP.
I need your help.
" Unbelievable! Sorry, I'm busy! "Sorry, I'm busy"? Busy with what? I really need your help.
Come in.
Where did you come from? Hey, Mildred.
Meet Muddles! - Muddles, this is Mildred.
- Hi, Muddles.
He's gorgeous.
But we're only allowed cats as pets.
It's the rules.
- I like breaking rules.
- But this could get you expelled.
- What? Again? - What do you mean "again"? How many schools have you been to? Seventeen.
- Hi, Maud.
- What are you doing? Just wondering, how can we make this place better? What do you mean? Nothing.
Have you seen Mildred? Yeah! She's been hanging out with Enid all morning.
What? You can't blame Mildred.
She's never met anyone famous before.
You are not getting expelled from here! You're my responsibility, and I'm still on trial myself, so just tell your parents to come and collect Muddles.
Oh, no! No! Muddles! Muddles! Less than a day! My fastest expulsion yet.
You're not taking me down with you.
We're going to get him back, now! Mildred.
Uh I can't believe you're too busy to help me.
I'm about to get dumped as head of year.
No, I will help you, it's just I can't right now.
- Why? - Um - Knock- knock.
- Go away, Ethel.
I just wanted to see how Enid's settling in.
She's fine, but we're busy.
We've just, um got to do something.
Oh, no, you're coming with me.
It looks like someone's got a new best friend.
If you need to talk Sorry, important head- of- year stuff to do.
Muddles! There he is! I'll get my broomstick.
Too late! Where does that window lead? Miss Cackle's office.
It's good manners to share, you know.
We can't just stand here waiting.
We need to get to lessons.
All right, I'll break in after class.
Break in? I do apologize, but I really can't have random animals running around my school.
I don't know where you came from, but they should have looked after you better.
You'll be safe here for now and I'll bring you food and water.
Sorry it's a little cramped in here, but it's just until we find out who you belong to.
What's wrong? Maud, she says she's going to be cauldron partners with Ethel today.
So? We're always cauldron partners.
Why would she do this? Don't worry about Maud.
You've got me now.
Come on, cauldron partner.
Don't worry about them.
They aren't worth it, you know.
You can be my cauldron partner today.
- But but but we - Girls! To work.
Today, we will be making a laughter potion.
Timing is crucial in comedy.
So be sure to stir it for exactly the right amount of time.
- Your turn.
- No.
No, I reckon we've stirred it enough.
Excellent.
A textbook laughter potion.
Well? This is no laughter potion.
What have you made? I see.
Or rather I don't.
Sorry, Miss Hardbroom.
Nought out of ten.
At least we learned how to make an invisibility potion.
So we'll use that to break in.
- I can't leave Stormy there all night.
- Who's Stormy? My cat.
I changed him into Muddles for a laugh.
For a laugh? It's only a one- day spell.
He'll change back at dawn.
You have to help me.
I can't believe you did that to your own cat.
He doesn't mind.
The spell's wearing off.
All right, I'll help you.
Maud.
What do you want? I just want to talk.
- All right.
- Really? You're going to forgive her just like that? Of course, if you're happy to settle for second best Actually, I'm busy right now.
Sorry! Esmerelda? I need to talk to you, you know, as one head of year to another.
Sure! Anything I can do to help.
Maud? - Oh, it's you.
- We'll get Muddles back.
Cheer up.
It's a good plan.
It'll work.
It's not that.
It's Maud.
Can't you just talk to her? One last try.
What are you saying to her? Everything.
I'm telling her everything.
Mildred's going to break into Miss Cackle's study tonight? When she gets caught, she's bound to be expelled.
Is Maud your best friend now? No.
But she could be! Ow! Mildred's played right into my hands.
She'll get expelled and I'll steal her friend.
Just need to make sure she gets caught.
Not a lot left.
That's OK.
I'll lick the cauldron.
Really? All right! Hello, kitty.
Shh! Just because we're invisible doesn't mean we can't be heard.
Is it time? Extra creamy milk for you.
Good girl.
Shush! Grab the lamp.
I can't believe she didn't wake up! I know, with the way you were thumping about.
I was not thumping! Shh! You'll wake the whole school.
Sorry! We're in! Muddles.
Where is he? She probably put him in the confiscation cupboard.
Where's that? All I know is it has a secret door.
Fun.
I'll find it.
Here we go! It's much bigger on the inside.
Muddles, there you are! I've missed you.
OK, you've got him, let's go! Wait a minute.
Look at all this stuff.
"Magical fireworks: writes rude slogans across the sky!" We haven't got time for this.
Fart potions.
A timeless classic! Fake collapsing teacher's chairs.
- Enid, was that you? - No.
- It won't open! - Let me try! You're right, somebody shut us in.
There has to be some way to get out.
We could always burn the door down.
- No, it's too dangerous! - I suppose so.
It's been nice knowing you, Mildred Hubble.
Something's happening.
I think the invisibility potion's wearing off.
Yes, it must be time.
Anyway, where do you think they'll send you next? I suppose I'll just have to go back to a normal school.
What do you mean "normal school"? Well, I mean normal where they don't teach magic.
Why would they send you there? No one in my family's magical.
You mean you got into this school all on your own? On a trial basis, remember? Oh, yeah.
Sorry, I didn't mean to get you thrown out.
I know.
You had a bicycle? A real one? It really isn't that exciting not when you're used to it.
Um, I'd much rather be here.
I've learned magic, I've made new friends.
Didn't you have friends before? Well, yes, but nobody like Maud.
Or you.
You don't have to say that.
I didn't say it was a good thing.
The spell's worn off.
It must be morning.
Our last day.
I heard a noise in the night, you see.
And I found Mildred and Enid in the confiscation cupboard.
I I thought it was safest to shut them in.
Ready? Maud, Drusilla how? - Drusilla told me what Ethel did.
- Just don't tell Ethel, OK? OK.
Thank you! Next time you have a bad dream, I suggest you keep it to yourself.
But it wasn't a dream.
You have already interrupted my sleep.
Now you are trying my patience.
One thousand lines.
- So the messages I got - They were all from Ethel.
And all of your messages went to her.
I should have known.
I am sorry I wasn't there when you needed me.
That's OK.
Actually, I've had an idea, but I'll need you to make it work.
- Can you help me? - Of course I will! Look what I've got! - Where did you get all that lot? - Dad always gives me a load of tuck.
Now, who's up for a dawn feast? Where did you get all this stuff? Esmerelda got it from the prefects' room.
They've got loads of spare stuff in there.
But that's not the most important bit.
Look! You drew that? No.
Mildred did.
Miss Cackle will never let you deface the school with that thing.
Actually, she thinks it's brilliant.
And I'll have my maglet back now, thanks! Where's mine? I'm confiscating it.
You can't! I'm head of year, so yes, I can.
- You put me in the picture.
- Don't worry.
If you get expelled, I'll just paint you out.
I was thinking maybe I won't.
Won't what? Won't get expelled.
Now I've got a reason not to.
I've got a friend.
Two friends.
Send it to me! - How do I do that? Just write my name on it and tap it three times.
See? It even says who it's from.
I love magic.
She's here.
Who? The new girl, Enid Nightshade.
Come on! I don't get it, why is this new girl such a big deal? That's why! I knew we should have approached in stealth mode.
They want a show, let's give them a show.
Let's go.
That's her, that's Enid.
"Look at me, my parents are famous!" What a show- off! Wow! Double chanting in five minutes.
Don't be late! I do hope you'll be happy here, Enid.
She's here to learn.
Make sure you do! Well met, Mistress Nightshade.
Well met, Mr.
Nightshade.
Welcome to Cackle's Academy.
And this must be Enid.
Well met.
If you'd like to follow me.
Come on, Millie, we're going to be late.
And I heard they use semi- gold cauldrons.
Don't be stupid, Drusilla.
Gold cauldrons would melt.
I'm sorry, Ethel, I can be really thick sometimes.
It's not your fault.
It's just everyone's making such a fuss about Enid Nightshade and her stupid parents.
T- Totally.
You're so right.
Well met.
I'm Ethel Hallow.
Hey, Ethel.
- Hi.
- Welcome to Cackle's.
If there's anything you need to know, I'm the best witch in Year One.
Are you? Yes.
I should be head of year.
Miss Hardbroom said so.
Come with me.
I'll get you your chanting book.
Mildred, would you like to share the joke? Um No! No! Maud Spellbody! Miss Cackle's office, now! Y- You mean you want me to go and see her? Build this girl a gingerbread house.
Out! Leave that thing here.
Maglets are to be used for work, not silly jokes.
As head of Year One, you need to set a better example.
Yes, Miss Cackle.
Unless you want me to appoint Ethel Hallow instead? Ethel? No, you can't do that to us.
I noticed you said "us," not "me.
" That's a good start! Being a leader isn't about being the best.
It's about looking after your team, bringing them closer together.
I notice you Year One girls tend to congregate under the main staircase.
Well, we don't have a proper common room, so it's sort of our place.
Sort of? It is our place.
I suppose if I made it better, that would bring us together, wouldn't it? Now that sounds like the sort of thing a leader would do.
Eye of toad in a vat Tooth of wolf, tail of cat Louder, girls! I can't hear you! Thigh of dog, skin of worm Leg of frog Drop them in Stir it up Pour it in a silver cup! Mildred Hubble.
You are making a mockery of the witching culture.
No, no, it's just Enid! - You were making fun of the new girl? - No, um - Miss Bat.
Miss Bat.
- Yes? Perhaps Enid needs someone to look after her, to show her around, to help her settle in? An excellent idea.
OK, thank you.
I choose Mildred.
- Her? - Me! No, no, I don't think that's a good idea at all.
I don't understand.
Miss Cackle told Mummy that every single girl here is a hardworking, talented witch.
Did she say that? Oh! Well, in that case, Mildred, from now on Enid is your responsibility.
I'll show you the potions lab and Later.
There's something I have to do first.
Mildred Hubble is so fake, sucking up to Enid just 'cause she's a witch.
Yeah.
Maud won't be happy when she finds out.
Maud? Maud, who took my place as head of year? What are you doing? "I hope it went OK with Cackle.
Sorry I can't meet this lunchtime.
Have to show Enid around.
See you later.
" Why are you reading Maud's messages? They're not Maud's now.
They're mine! And we can send messages to Mildred and she'll think they're from Maud.
They can't have gone.
Dad always stays for one last goodbye.
Not this time.
You should be in class.
It's from Ethel.
"Meet me by the stairs ASAP.
I need your help.
" Unbelievable! Sorry, I'm busy! "Sorry, I'm busy"? Busy with what? I really need your help.
Come in.
Where did you come from? Hey, Mildred.
Meet Muddles! - Muddles, this is Mildred.
- Hi, Muddles.
He's gorgeous.
But we're only allowed cats as pets.
It's the rules.
- I like breaking rules.
- But this could get you expelled.
- What? Again? - What do you mean "again"? How many schools have you been to? Seventeen.
- Hi, Maud.
- What are you doing? Just wondering, how can we make this place better? What do you mean? Nothing.
Have you seen Mildred? Yeah! She's been hanging out with Enid all morning.
What? You can't blame Mildred.
She's never met anyone famous before.
You are not getting expelled from here! You're my responsibility, and I'm still on trial myself, so just tell your parents to come and collect Muddles.
Oh, no! No! Muddles! Muddles! Less than a day! My fastest expulsion yet.
You're not taking me down with you.
We're going to get him back, now! Mildred.
Uh I can't believe you're too busy to help me.
I'm about to get dumped as head of year.
No, I will help you, it's just I can't right now.
- Why? - Um - Knock- knock.
- Go away, Ethel.
I just wanted to see how Enid's settling in.
She's fine, but we're busy.
We've just, um got to do something.
Oh, no, you're coming with me.
It looks like someone's got a new best friend.
If you need to talk Sorry, important head- of- year stuff to do.
Muddles! There he is! I'll get my broomstick.
Too late! Where does that window lead? Miss Cackle's office.
It's good manners to share, you know.
We can't just stand here waiting.
We need to get to lessons.
All right, I'll break in after class.
Break in? I do apologize, but I really can't have random animals running around my school.
I don't know where you came from, but they should have looked after you better.
You'll be safe here for now and I'll bring you food and water.
Sorry it's a little cramped in here, but it's just until we find out who you belong to.
What's wrong? Maud, she says she's going to be cauldron partners with Ethel today.
So? We're always cauldron partners.
Why would she do this? Don't worry about Maud.
You've got me now.
Come on, cauldron partner.
Don't worry about them.
They aren't worth it, you know.
You can be my cauldron partner today.
- But but but we - Girls! To work.
Today, we will be making a laughter potion.
Timing is crucial in comedy.
So be sure to stir it for exactly the right amount of time.
- Your turn.
- No.
No, I reckon we've stirred it enough.
Excellent.
A textbook laughter potion.
Well? This is no laughter potion.
What have you made? I see.
Or rather I don't.
Sorry, Miss Hardbroom.
Nought out of ten.
At least we learned how to make an invisibility potion.
So we'll use that to break in.
- I can't leave Stormy there all night.
- Who's Stormy? My cat.
I changed him into Muddles for a laugh.
For a laugh? It's only a one- day spell.
He'll change back at dawn.
You have to help me.
I can't believe you did that to your own cat.
He doesn't mind.
The spell's wearing off.
All right, I'll help you.
Maud.
What do you want? I just want to talk.
- All right.
- Really? You're going to forgive her just like that? Of course, if you're happy to settle for second best Actually, I'm busy right now.
Sorry! Esmerelda? I need to talk to you, you know, as one head of year to another.
Sure! Anything I can do to help.
Maud? - Oh, it's you.
- We'll get Muddles back.
Cheer up.
It's a good plan.
It'll work.
It's not that.
It's Maud.
Can't you just talk to her? One last try.
What are you saying to her? Everything.
I'm telling her everything.
Mildred's going to break into Miss Cackle's study tonight? When she gets caught, she's bound to be expelled.
Is Maud your best friend now? No.
But she could be! Ow! Mildred's played right into my hands.
She'll get expelled and I'll steal her friend.
Just need to make sure she gets caught.
Not a lot left.
That's OK.
I'll lick the cauldron.
Really? All right! Hello, kitty.
Shh! Just because we're invisible doesn't mean we can't be heard.
Is it time? Extra creamy milk for you.
Good girl.
Shush! Grab the lamp.
I can't believe she didn't wake up! I know, with the way you were thumping about.
I was not thumping! Shh! You'll wake the whole school.
Sorry! We're in! Muddles.
Where is he? She probably put him in the confiscation cupboard.
Where's that? All I know is it has a secret door.
Fun.
I'll find it.
Here we go! It's much bigger on the inside.
Muddles, there you are! I've missed you.
OK, you've got him, let's go! Wait a minute.
Look at all this stuff.
"Magical fireworks: writes rude slogans across the sky!" We haven't got time for this.
Fart potions.
A timeless classic! Fake collapsing teacher's chairs.
- Enid, was that you? - No.
- It won't open! - Let me try! You're right, somebody shut us in.
There has to be some way to get out.
We could always burn the door down.
- No, it's too dangerous! - I suppose so.
It's been nice knowing you, Mildred Hubble.
Something's happening.
I think the invisibility potion's wearing off.
Yes, it must be time.
Anyway, where do you think they'll send you next? I suppose I'll just have to go back to a normal school.
What do you mean "normal school"? Well, I mean normal where they don't teach magic.
Why would they send you there? No one in my family's magical.
You mean you got into this school all on your own? On a trial basis, remember? Oh, yeah.
Sorry, I didn't mean to get you thrown out.
I know.
You had a bicycle? A real one? It really isn't that exciting not when you're used to it.
Um, I'd much rather be here.
I've learned magic, I've made new friends.
Didn't you have friends before? Well, yes, but nobody like Maud.
Or you.
You don't have to say that.
I didn't say it was a good thing.
The spell's worn off.
It must be morning.
Our last day.
I heard a noise in the night, you see.
And I found Mildred and Enid in the confiscation cupboard.
I I thought it was safest to shut them in.
Ready? Maud, Drusilla how? - Drusilla told me what Ethel did.
- Just don't tell Ethel, OK? OK.
Thank you! Next time you have a bad dream, I suggest you keep it to yourself.
But it wasn't a dream.
You have already interrupted my sleep.
Now you are trying my patience.
One thousand lines.
- So the messages I got - They were all from Ethel.
And all of your messages went to her.
I should have known.
I am sorry I wasn't there when you needed me.
That's OK.
Actually, I've had an idea, but I'll need you to make it work.
- Can you help me? - Of course I will! Look what I've got! - Where did you get all that lot? - Dad always gives me a load of tuck.
Now, who's up for a dawn feast? Where did you get all this stuff? Esmerelda got it from the prefects' room.
They've got loads of spare stuff in there.
But that's not the most important bit.
Look! You drew that? No.
Mildred did.
Miss Cackle will never let you deface the school with that thing.
Actually, she thinks it's brilliant.
And I'll have my maglet back now, thanks! Where's mine? I'm confiscating it.
You can't! I'm head of year, so yes, I can.
- You put me in the picture.
- Don't worry.
If you get expelled, I'll just paint you out.
I was thinking maybe I won't.
Won't what? Won't get expelled.
Now I've got a reason not to.
I've got a friend.
Two friends.