True Jackson, VP (2008) s01e02 Episode Script

"True Jackson, VP" was filmed In front of a live Studio audience.
Mad style, please hold.
Mad style, please hold.
Thank you for holding.
How may I direct your call? Amanda Cantrell's office.
She's in a meeting.
Can I have her return? Okay.
Pick a color.
Orange, o-r-a-n-g-e.
Okay.
You're gonna marry For love and money.
- Lulu, you got a second? - Sure.
Hey, I gotta go.
Ryan says hi.
He's making a cake Out of squeezy-cheese.
I just got an im from our factory saying, They never got the design For my accessories line.
Oh, this one it's so cute.
I would totally wear this.
- Lulu.
- Hey, grabby, That's my cootie catcher.
Lulu, I love you, But I'm super nervous About my presentation.
And I just need you You know, I should probably get this.
It could be important.
Hey, wattup, Ryan.
So you might not be prepared For your accessory presentation? I couldn't help but overhear.
I know.
I saw your ear Pressed against the glass.
Yeah, well, I happen to do that To cool my ears.
Well, don't worry About my presentation.
Team Jackson's got it all Under control.
Ryan saw a mouse.
- one for you, And this one is for you.
There you go.
Oh, there you are, true.
What's this? Oh, in my ongoing effort To increase productivity, I've come up with a system To speed up The pre-meeting process.
A seating chart? What is this, third grade? It feels that way sometimes, Yes.
I don't see my name On this chart.
Hmm, that's weird.
Everyone, please take your seat.
Oh, and if for some reason You don't have an assigned seat, Please don't get in the way Of those of us who do.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
Some weather we're having, huh? True, I thought Leading the presentations Was my job? No, you see, There's this new seating chart.
And everything Got kind of crazy.
I just thoug Because frankly, Being the boss is a giant drag.
So many times I come in here And everybody's Just sitting here.
Waiting for me.
Thank you, true, For your thoughtfulness.
Well, okay.
It's all good, I mean, It is my accessory line After all.
Well, the floor is yours, My lady.
Ladies and gentlemen The life of today's teenager Is busier than ever.
There is school, homework, And after-school jobs, But that doesn't mean We have to sacrifice fashion.
So I give you My new line of accessories.
For the teen who's on the go.
What the? See, that's a little bigger Than I thought.
Nice stitching, Quality fabric, Alarmingly tiny True, help me understand Your vision.
- to be honest, I'm trying to understand My vision too.
- you know what would help Your vision with that hat? A magnifying glass.
Up high.
Kopelman! Don't be rude.
Out.
- I don't know what happened.
I mean, I did the drawing, Selected the colors, And then I dictated the sizes To Lulu.
By dictating, I mean, I did everything on my own.
Without involving anyone else, Especially my best friend, Lulu, Who had nothing to do With any of this.
Oscar, I'd like to get My seating chart cards Laminated.
Do you know if we have A laminating machine Anywhere in the Oh, that's too small.
No, that's too big.
Perfect.
Oh, I'm also going to need a Okay then.
- hey, Oscar.
- Hey.
Check this out.
That was me falling down In that video.
- Isn't it tight? - No.
- tight tight means good.
- Yes, I know.
Well, I'm gonna be An Internet sensation.
I'm Ryan-the-other- Falling-down-guy.
Com.
Why is it The "other falling down guy"? Well, there was one already.
But what do you think? - I love it.
- Really? No.
Why? What's wrong with it? You can see the banana peel So you anticipated it.
I like to feel surprised When I see someone fall.
Now, that's a fall.
- hi, Lulu.
Is true in? - Who may I say is asking? - it's me, Max.
- I'm gonna need A last name, Max.
Ms.
Jackson's a very busy woman And she doesn't take Lulu, that's Mr.
Madigan, My boss, who you've met A thousand times.
Ms.
Jackson will see you now.
Two things, true.
One, I finally tried That happy Berry yum yum Downstairs.
Delicious.
Two yums is not enough.
I know, right? I like the tangerine tickle.
It makes my nose itch.
I've decided to treat myself To a cup a day.
Good for you.
And what was the other thing You want to tell me? - you have to fire Lulu.
- I what now? Look, true, You have an amazing talent.
But unless you have A strong support staff, The world will never know.
You can't do it all by yourself.
But Lulu's trying.
Sure, she may not be perfect.
Has anyone seen My stapler? - she's my best friend.
- I know.
But she may not be Your best assistant.
Too bad there's no job called "assistafriend" Or "friendistant" Or "secrefriendy" Or "worky-time fun pal.
" - hey, Oscar.
Can I ask you a question? - Uh-hmm.
Lulu's doing a good job, Right? She's so nice.
I know.
We've been friends Since the first grade.
But she's doing an okay job, Right? I like her hair.
Right.
- But she's doing - Please.
Don't make me answer again.
Hey, Ryan.
Where's Lulu? Out getting Her yo-yo restrung.
I'm covering for her.
- what are you doing? - I have another idea For a Web site.
It's gonna be called "ryanstonsils.
Com".
I'm predicting 100 billion hits Within the first month alone.
Why would people Wanna watch that? Because it's awesome.
True Jackson speaking.
Uh-huh.
Ryan, can you get my other line? No can do.
I'm crazy comfortable.
Can I call you right back? Okay.
Thank you.
Bye.
True Jackson's office.
Oh, hi, Mr.
Chuff a.
You still haven't gotten The designs? I am so sorry.
Okay, I'll take care of it Right now.
All right.
Bye.
- I have to fire Lulu.
- What? Why? She's doing a terrible job.
She's totally irresponsible.
- come on, true.
I think you're exaggerating.
- She left you To cover for her.
Yeah, that's not good.
But you've had to solve Bigger problems than this.
Was it easy helping me Pass Spanish? - I had to tutor you Every night for a month.
Muy dificil.
Whatever that means.
And what about that time I forgot My multiplication tables, What did you tell me? That it was just Like riding a bike.
And then I had to teach you How to ride a bike.
Exactly.
And that's just what you have To do with Lulu.
You're right.
Maybe we just got to start over.
Great idea.
By the way, What are you doing after work? I've completely forgot How to ride a bike.
I mean, I know I put my foot Through the wheel, But I can't remember What to do next.
Okay, Lulu.
I know we've both got thrown Into these jobs without A whole bunch of training.
But we're gonna fix that.
Starting right now, We're gonna turn you.
Into the best assistant In the history of mad style.
Better than mable o'grady? First, we'll work on phones.
I'm gonna call my office And you answer.
Easy breezy.
True Jackson's office.
Hello? You have to press the button.
True Jackson's office.
Hello? - That's the intercom.
- Sorry.
How do you do that? I don't know.
I was just pressing Random buttons.
Oh, I wonder what this one does.
No True Jackson's office.
Okay.
This is an invoice From diamond textiles.
Where would you file that? - under d for diamond? - Awesome.
- You wanna do the honors? - Absolutely.
All right.
Did you load the feeder? Done.
- did you set The contrast level? - Done.
Great.
Then all you have to do Is press the green button.
Heck, I can do that With my eyes shut.
That wasn't the green button.
What a day.
Yeah.
That was the most fun I've had Since we started working here.
- what's this? - You ruined my suede coat.
That's the bill.
Why is it laminated? Oh, it's because I didn't have One of your tiny umbrellas To keep it dry.
Yeah.
- well, she's mad.
- She' not the only one.
People were all, "these sprinklers "are ruining my work.
I have a deadline.
" It was hilarious.
You're missing the point.
Whoa, Ms.
Gloomasaurus, Since when are you On their side? There are no sides.
This is a place of business, Not a game of kickball.
- hey, you wanna play kickball? - Yeah.
That thing can be home plate.
Lulu, that's Mr.
Madigan's Design book.
And you put fairy stickers On it? Yeah.
And I made a flip-book.
Watch this snowman dance.
- I can't believe you.
- What? Are you mad at me again? You know, Ever since you took this job, You changed.
Yeah, and you haven't.
I think hiring you Was a mistake.
Mistake? We're best friends.
Well, maybe there's a place For friends And a place for work.
What are you trying to say, True? Lulu, you're fired.
Wow.
That was heavy.
But I can still hang out here, Right, burrito? T's amigo.
You've changed, true.
You're no fun.
Yeah, setting off sprinklers In the office was real fun.
It was a little fun.
But seriously, I'm not a gloomosaurus, Not even close.
I'm a funasaurus Rex.
I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting a meeting With you and one of your Imaginary friends? Oh no, Just clearing my throat.
It's dusty in here.
All right.
Oh, do you have any idea How late you're working? - another hour or so.
Why? - Oh, just curious.
- you're waiting for me To leave, so it will look like.
You're working harder than me, Right? No.
I happen to have A lot of work to do.
Thank you very much.
Amanda, would you like To play another game Of solitaire? - can I ask you a question, Amanda? - Well, make it quick.
I'm busy.
Total games played today, 4,392.
- you were saying? - How do you do it? I mean, You're here all the time.
Where do you find time for your friends? - it's not that hard.
- Really? I made a choice, Work over friends.
You mean, You have no friends? Well, who needs friends When you have a fabulous job? Amanda, yoo-hoo? Oh, listen, true.
When you first started Working here, I thought you would never last.
I didn't think you were capable Of making the hard decisions.
But now look at you.
Oh, I never thought I'd say this, true, But you're a lot like me, A lot like me, A lot like me.
People, people, Let's get settled, shall we? Now, I know it's new year's eve And you all wanna go Hang out with your friends, But I have no friends.
So, we got to spend The whole night here at work.
Who groaned I thought I banned groaning.
Now, let's start by working With my new seating chart.
One for you, tubby, And you, four-eyes.
Did somebody say Seating chart? Nice try, moppet.
No one makes seating charts At mad style except Well, now, That interruption's behind us.
Let's move - news flash.
- Go to bed, dear.
Now, back to my new Seating chart, which is very Does anyone smell chocolate? Even after 32 years Of eating this yogurt every day, It's still delicious.
Whoops, spilled some On my shoe.
I think I'm wearing shoes.
True, shoe check, please.
Right away, sir.
No.
Thank you, true.
I can always count on you, Maly, Because you have no friends, So you're always here.
Well, who needs friends When you have a fabulous job? Where have I heard That before? Wait, I know.
You always say that.
Well, if nobody Has anything else, I suggest We wrap up this fantasy.
You know what? You're right.
Wouldn't be the first time.
Sometimes you do have To make a choice Between work and friends.
Well, it's a pretty Easy choice if you ask me.
Yeah, it is.
- Hey, Oscar, Did you see Lulu leave? - Yes.
- how'd she look? - A little like That's what I was afraid of.
Now, you wanna see My mable o'grady.
- Mr.
Madigan? - Hey, true.
Fancy seeing you here.
Are you having a nice weekend? Not really.
I fired Lulu And now she's totally Avoiding me.
I was hoping to find her here But I don't see her.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm sure she'll oh.
- Mr.
Madigan? - Brain freeze.
Okay, I'm back.
You know, Mr.
Madigan, Maybe you should cut back On this daily yogurt thing.
I'm just saying, in 32 years, You'll be thanking me.
Maybe you're right.
See you tomorrow.
- see you.
- I've been expecting you.
- you have? - Well, Lulu said You'd come looking for her.
- And as usual, she was correct.
- Well, do you have any idea Where she is? I've looked everywhere.
- her apartment? - Yup.
- the balloon store? - Yup.
- the whistle museum? - Yup.
- well, maybe you should try Your office.
- You think she's there? I'm sure of it.
She left you this note.
"dear true, I'm in your office, Lulu.
" Well, why didn't you Just give me this In the first place? - Lulu, are you here? - In your office.
Lulu, I'm so sorry.
- hey.
- Oh my gosh.
How did you get All of this here on a Sunday? - simple.
I just called Jerry over At the warehouse And had him rush production.
Then I called in A favor with Bruno To get him to expedite transpo.
Then I supervised our team As we off-trucked downstairs At the loading dock.
Well, the part I understood Sounded amazing.
- well, I couldn't have done it Without my assistant.
- Your assistant? Ladies.
When I saw How much work was needed To get these.
Accessories finished, I knew I couldn't do it alone.
I had to ask someone I trusted to help.
And when Oscar Wasn't available, She called me.
True, I know how much You needed me And I'm so sorry I let you down.
If you give me another chance, I promise I'll be totally professional.
That's just it, Lulu.
I don't want you To be totally professional.
I mean, we're just kids.
I don't need an assistant As much as I need a best friend.
- I think I can juggle both Of those jobs.
- So can I.
- Does that mean I'm unfired? - I hereby unfire you.
- With a raise? - No.
Deal.
So Ryan, How's that website thing going? I don't know.
The exact figures, But it's approximately Wow, that's so weird.
Who wouldn't wanna see The inside of your throat? Uh, no worries.
I've decided to exploit Another one of my talents In making a new Internet name For myself.
Ryan-the-guy-who-can-eat-15-Pieces- -Of-french-toast-in-one-Sitting.
Com? - ryan-the-itchy-butt-guy.
Com? - Nope.
Say hello to Ryan-the-other-moonwalk-guy.
Com.
Please tell me one of you guys Secretly videotaped that.
Mad style, please hold.
Thank you for holding.
How may I direct your call? Amanda cantwell's office.
One moment, please.
What is that Incessant ringing? You're fired.
Moppet, I thought we talked About this.
It's like nothing has changed.
That's not true, Amanda.
A lot has changed.
- six.
- One, two, three, Four, five, six.
It looks like You're gonna be an astronaut.
- cool.
Will you sign my spacesuit? - You know it, girl.
- Amanda, do you wanna join us? - Me join you? For what? I figure You already got The fabulous job, Maybe you can use some friends.
- Yeah, come on.
Pick a color.
- Pass.
Okay, green.