Twenty Twelve (2011) s01e02 Episode Script
Episode 2
Oh, I think he's going to get the gold! Coe has beaten Cram! What a marvellous finish! And Seb Coe gets the gold medal! There may be trouble ahead But while there's moonlight and music And love and romance Let's face the music and dance Let's face the music and dance.
No, no, well, it's not even here yet.
Well, we're not due to leave 'til ten, so that'll be fine.
I mean, I could probably come in at about 4.
30.
I'll be back by then, if the head of year really feels it's all that Absolutely.
Thursday morning, outside the offices of the Olympic Deliverance Commission in London.
It's quarter to ten.
We'll be with them shortly after 10.
30.
Ten minutes to meet and greet, exactly.
He's a very imaginative boy.
You are aware of that? Today is a special day for Head of Deliverance Ian Fletcher and his team.
And then we should be with you 11.
30, 11.
45 at the latest.
Yeah, which'll be fine.
Exactly.
I suppose it should actually be here now, shouldn't it? Yeah, he'll have missed the filter off the slip road.
That's what'll've happened.
Classic.
A visiting delegation from Rio, host city for the Games in 2016, has been in London all week, and today they're to be taken on an official tour of the Olympic site.
- OK.
So I made it.
That's cool.
- Relax, you've got plenty of time.
Yeah, you've got a bus to catch.
You've got to be on the bus before it leaves.
Yeah, well, you can't be on it before it arrives, so you're fine.
Yeah, the thing is, it'll have missed the slip road off the Oh, here it is.
Here he comes, look.
- Bloody big bugger too! Look.
- Right.
Good.
Come on, then, in you come.
All I can say is he definitely didn't have any scissors when he left for school this morning.
No.
OK, guys, so we're all set.
Let's roll this out.
The accompanying party for the Olympic Deliverance Commission includes Head of Infrastructure Graham Hitchins and Head of Sustainability Kay Hope as well as Head of Brand Siobhan Sharpe, from PR company Perfect Curve.
- Sally, hi.
- Oh, hi.
- Sorry.
I ask you to print them and - Not a problem.
That's great.
Thanks.
I'm glad I caught you, cos I thought you'd have gone.
- Yes, what do you think of the coach? - Yes.
- Impressive, huh? - Yes.
Yes.
- I thought I'd bring you this as well.
- What's this? - You know, you probably won't - Oh, Sally - No, no.
Not a problem.
- Oh, this is.
I was making some for myself anyway, so - We have lunch when we get there.
- I know.
I thought for the journey - Sally, this is so - No, no, not at all.
- Chocolate fridge cake! - I mean, you probably won't - Sally, you are a dangerous woman.
- Not a problem.
The first leg of the journey involves going to the central London hotel where the Brazilian delegation has been staying.
From there, they'll pick up their guests and take them directly out to the Olympic site in time for their meeting with Sebastian Coe at midday.
- OK, guys.
We're locked and loaded.
- Yes.
Oh, look, there's Sally.
Aw, sweet.
Yeah, so you want to be in the left-hand lane here, mate.
So, basically, it's the left-hand lane.
Hello? Yeah, so you want to be in the left-hand lane here, basically.
Hello? - OK, there you go.
- Thanks.
Do I need this? I've already got my ordinary ID card.
- Sure.
But this is better than that.
- Right.
This is extra-ordinary.
- OK, right.
- Excuse me? - This is Head of Legacy.
- Sure.
I'm Head of Sustainability.
- Oh, yeah, cool.
But for now, right? - No, it's not all right, actually.
For Siobhan, it's important that the itinerary for the day is understood loud and clear from the outset.
so we're all copied into the same time frame on this, OK? Graham? OK, so 10am, we leave the ODC for the hotel.
We're done with that.
It's over.
Can I just say, I've no idea where this guy's going.
Let's assume for the moment he does know where he's going.
- Fine.
- Since he's the driver.
10.
40, we arrive at the hotel.
We meet the Brazilian delegation and we also greet them.
Right, can I just say, so as not to startle anyone, I will be saying a few words when we get there, which I've had translated into Portuguese.
- Sure.
- Portuguese?! Yeah, OK, you're right.
Very short.
Obviously, I've no idea what it means.
- OK.
Cool.
11 am, we're going to be - Hang on a minute, Siobhan.
- Exchange of gifts? - Excuse me? It says "exchange of gifts" here.
Um OK.
Do you want to talk us through that? Well, not really.
No.
I don't know anything about it.
Um - That's not a gift? - This? No, that's No, this is - That's just something else.
- OK.
Here's the thing.
I think we need to talk about that.
I am talking about it.
How are we going to get them a gift now? I know there is a big Tesco's on your left as you're coming towards Can I just say, I've no idea where this guy's going.
Graham, can we just sort out the gift thing, OK? - Sorry, but we haven't got much time.
- Yeah, OK, whatever.
If they are going to get the Brazilians something to exchange a gift, they need to come up with an idea in the next few minutes.
OK, what about Brazil nuts? OK, no, that's wrong.
Ideally it should be in some way about London, not Brazil.
OK, chestnuts.
OK, no, that's wrong, too.
I think we probably need to go beyond nuts altogether.
Siobhan, is there anything in the branding, merchandising area that we could? Yeah, no, I think that's a great idea.
What were you thinking? - I was thinking you're Head of Brand.
- OK, yeah.
I'm totally cool with that.
But adversity is the mother of invention, and under pressure, Siobhan remembers their own 2012 website with its official online merchandise shop.
Mascot T-shirts.
Model London taxis with the mascot on the bonnet.
I've got mascot towels here.
It's quite neat, actually.
The doors look like they actually open.
OK.
Is there anything at all without the mascots on them? Commemorative 2012 £5 coin.
- Ah, right.
- The doors don't open.
That's rubbish.
You can get it in a gold-boxed set.
They definitely don't have the mascots on them? - I don't think so, no.
- Great.
Sold.
Siobhan, can you? OK, I'm on it, I'm on it.
Oh, hi, Fran.
Yeah.
We've got a situation here.
No, don't talk, just listen.
OK, what I want you to do is Fran? Are you there? Are you there? OK.
OK.
OK, cool.
OK.
What I need you to do is bike something to the Meridian Mayfair Hotel.
But it's got to get there before we do.
Tell her that's not going to be difficult, OK? - What is he doing? What is he doing? - Meanwhile, it's 10.
45.
By this time, they should have arrived at the hotel.
But so far, they haven't.
- This is madness.
- We're not far away now.
I mean, we're coming in from the north.
You can't That doesn't exist! God knows where we are now.
- This is it, isn't it? - Yeah.
What? - Right, we're here.
- Well, you say that Meanwhile, only seven minutes late, the bus has arrived at the central London hotel where the Brazilian delegation is staying.
This is the final day of their visit to London, and the tour of the Olympic site and meeting with Sebastian Coe is the climax of their trip.
The delegation includes the Mayor of Rio and several junior government ministers, as well as their own interpreter who has been travelling with them at all times.
OK.
Well, before we get on the coach I'd just like to say a few words, but I'll keep it short.
OK.
Right.
Erm Ladies and gentlemens, welcome to London.
We hope you enjoyed your stay here.
OK, right.
Erm - Today, you are our guests.
- Right Lord Coe is waiting to see you.
He thinks you will find the Olympic Park as exciting as he is.
Thank you.
Ah, yes.
Sorry, sorry.
One last thing, we'd very much like to offer this to you as a little token of our - As a little token, really.
- Obrigado.
Oh obrigado.
Thank you.
Why would you go west? Why would you do that? Hello? With the Brazilian delegation safely on board and only half an hour behind schedule, they idea now is that they should set off in the direction of the Olympic Park.
Hello?! He's going west-that's like 160 degrees in the wrong direction! - 160? - Well, 180.
190! It's totally wrong.
Meanwhile, Head of Sustainability Kay Hope has had a call from her son's school.
He's a young boy.
I know all mothers say this, but he's very intelligent and he's curious about the world.
They're keen for her to go in and either talk to him or take him home.
It's sod's law.
Normally, when stuff like this happens, I can find a way of getting over there for ten minutes if I have to.
- And is he OK? - Yes, he's fine.
- So, what's actually happened to him? - They're making a big fuss about it, but, really, he'll be fine.
Keiren's a good boy.
He's cut his French teacher's ponytail off.
- Oh, right.
- I mean, really! Come on.
Yes.
I Yeah.
We've got them on board now and they seem happy enough, so that's all good.
Ian is in contact with Sebastian Coe's personal assistant, Nina Christiani, who's already on site at the Olympic Park.
Well, pretty much, I think.
We're just leaving central London now.
Great.
Cos if we could get away a bit earlier today, that'd be great for us.
Earlier.
Right.
Obviously, there's a bit of traffic around, but I think we're in pretty good shape.
What time are you expecting him? He's already here, with Martin Soper, talking about the wind turbine.
Plus, he's got a meeting with Branson this afternoon and then the Queen later on, so if he could get away a bit earlier after lunch, it would be great.
- Right.
When you say early? - Oh, no way.
- That would so help me.
It would be great.
Right, well, as I say, we're on our way and we'll definitely be there or thereabouts.
Bye.
OK.
Hi.
- No it's OK.
- It is working now.
Yeah, I'm totally good with this.
Meanwhile, for Head of Brand Siobhan Sharpe, it's important that things are running smoothly.
So, my name's Siobhan Sharpe, I'm Head of Brand for London 2012 and I'll be your tour guide today.
OK.
So, hi.
You should all have copies of the schedule for the day.
I have some more here if you don't.
I just want to take you through that.
Number one, 11 A.
M.
, depart hotel for Olympic Park.
Number two, 11.
45 A.
M.
, arrive Olympic Park.
Four 1 pm, lunch on site with Lord Coe and members of the Olympic Deliverance Commission.
Gracias.
- I'm sure he knows what he's doing.
- Yeah, driving to Cornwall! - Keep your voice down, I'll have a word.
- He's gone past Hyde Park Corner, he's gone past Harrods - We've been over this bridge twice.
- When is this going to end? - The guy's a psychopath! - All right, all right.
OK.
Um, hello? - Excuse me? - He's got that thing in his ear.
That's either a deaf aid, or someone's controlling his brain.
Sorry, can I have a word? No, no, there's no need to stop.
Keep going.
I just wanted Oh Someone's thrown a switch back in command bunker! I was given these details to put into the sat nav.
That's the system we operate for insurance purposes.
I understand that.
Yeah, but if you're saying the postcode's incorrect, well, actually, that's human error.
That's a totally different thing.
Forgive me, I'm not interested in how this happened.
I'm interested in getting to the Olympic Park by 11.
45 at the latest.
Sure.
I'm just telling you that.
So the correct postcode is? It's E15.
Oh, right, well, that's completely different.
I had SW19.
- SW19? - That's like Wimbledon.
So that's like, what, southwest or something? It's Wimbledon! - OK.
I think we're sorted now.
- Do you know London at all? Well, I don't live here as such.
Out of interest, where do you live? Me? In actual fact, I live in Nottingham meself.
- Really? - Nottingham? But like I say, I go all round Europe.
Yeah, I've noticed that.
Well, look, the fact is, it's now 11.
25, just past, and we are due to be at the Olympic Park in Stratford, which is on the northeastern edge of London, in about 17 minutes' time.
- How do you see that panning out? - Yeah, well, it's saying 42 minutes here.
- Right, is it? - But it all depends where it is.
Yes.
OK, guys.
Just to keep you up to date, we're in pretty good shape.
As you can see, we're going to be taking you right through the centre of London today.
As the clock ticks down, they may now be facing in the right direction, but in trying to get back across central London, they've hit a new problem - traffic.
North? Surely we just want to get on the A11? What I'm suggesting is, round the back of Olympia, Edgware Road Luckily, as Head of Infrastructure, this is Graham Hitchins' specialist subject.
I don't want to bore you with it, right, but this thing automatically syncs up with the Highways Agency Central Database.
Right.
Now, technically, OK, that's not legal, but what it means is, right, at any given time, it knows where the traffic is, all the pizza places Right, OK.
Do it.
What have we got to lose? Right, OK.
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! But Graham's plan to save time by going north before turning east has hit a snag.
Stop.
You've got about that much.
Just about that.
Hi, just to say, we're experiencing one or two difficulties with the technology at the moment.
As a result, there is a possibility that we may be slightly late for our midday rendezvous at the Olympic Park.
Yes, the good news is I've spoken to Lord Coe, and he's promised not to eat all the cheese-and-pickle sandwiches before we get there! So that's all good.
In these sorts of situations, a lot of it is about managing expectations, both at this end and at the other end.
Right, you've got about this much room.
That's doing fine, that's doing fine.
What you're trying to do is give people a sense of ownership of the idea of being late, and then if they are late, at least they feel they've got an investment in being late.
Yeah, about three yards.
- Nina, hi.
- Hi, how's it going? Uh, yeah, no, it's good.
We're out of the traffic, anyway.
We've pretty much got the road to ourselves.
But I've told Seb you're going to be early now - Right.
OK.
so now he's asking me for a time.
OK, Nina, it might be worth just feeding into the equation at this stage that we may not actually be early, as in literally arriving before you were expected us to arrive.
- So where are you now? - No, we're fine.
We're on the North Circular.
We're pretty much there.
I'm just marking your card, really, so you can manage his expectations.
Yeah, I have managed his expectations.
He's expecting you to be early.
All I'm saying is it might be worth just resetting the dial a bit, that's all.
- He's not keen on that, OK? - Right.
OK.
Once you've set his dial, he pretty much doesn't like anybody fiddling with it.
OK, guys, we're going to be making a brief stop here.
It's 10 past 12, which means that, despite the benefits of satellite technology, they are now officially late, and Ian has made an executive decision to buy a map.
This is a pretty much typical London petrol station.
Um, you see them pretty much all over the city.
And as you can see, there's a little shop attached to it.
So, if you want to get off the coach and take a look, that's cool, um, but we would ask you to please refrain from smoking, and, guys, please be back on the coach within ten minutes.
Five, Siobhan.
Correction.
Five minutes.
Sorry.
Make that five.
OK, guys, enjoy.
We're a lot further south than we thought.
- Yep, loads.
- Which isn't great.
- Yeah, all the way down here, look.
- But we're also quite a lot further east than I thought, so it's not entirely a bad thing.
- I know a great route to the A11.
- Right.
I use it all the time when I take Keiren to see his so-called father in Hackney.
Thanks, Kay.
So the first thing is, we make a plan and we stick with it.
That's cool, yeah.
So from here, we pick up the A13, then we go north on the A12, which will then take us to the A11, which takes us straight there.
Where's Leytonstone? - Kay, let's just stick with the plan.
- OK, sure, sure.
The second thing is, Siobhan Hi! Hi! So, Siobhan, second thing, do you know anyone in Richard Branson's office? - No.
Sorry.
I don't.
- Oh.
Right.
Nuh-uh.
I don't know anyone in his office.
I know everyone.
Oh, right, I see.
Very good.
I think we can still be humorous, right? Well, I suppose we could be, but let's just not, shall we? OK.
Sure.
What would be quite useful is if you could call in any favours there and persuade them to somehow move this meeting with Seb an hour later.
- Totally.
- Just an hour.
- It might make all the difference.
- No problem.
So, let's take these positive thoughts, going forward, and the key thing here is to keep them entertained.
We don't want to give them any time at all to think about anything.
Here's the thing with that.
I take them through a revised schedule for the day.
Right.
That's an example of exactly the kind of thing we don't want them thinking about, OK? OK.
That's cool.
- Kay, I had a thought.
- OK, good.
I really think it will be hard to do this without the PowerPoint element.
- I really think that.
- You don't have to do the full works.
Ian's idea is that Kay should do a version of the presentation on sustainability that she was going to do after lunch as part of the Olympic Park experience.
I have a lot of graphic illustrations that I talk about.
But, Kay, that's a problem.
- Yes, it is a problem.
- I don't need problems at the moment.
- I need solutions.
- Well, that's an even bigger problem.
- We know how important sustainability is.
- Yes.
It is sustainability, isn't it? Of course it is, yes.
It's never easy when you're asking people to step outside their comfort zone, but sometimes, as a manager, it's your job to push people just that little bit further than they think they're capable of.
- Are they grateful afterwards? - Not usually, no.
As I say, they hate it.
You don't think a presentation on sustainability, translated into Portuguese and without any visual aids might possibly confuse them? - I think it might do, yes.
- Right.
So, basically, it's a question of how long Kay can keep it up.
- Yes, yes.
- No, north! North! A12 north! Thanks to a burst water main on the A13, the driver has had no option but to be diverted onto the A12 south instead of north.
What we don't want is to end up going through the Blackwall Tunnel, OK? Hello? With Sebastian Coe still waiting out at the Olympic Park, they're now 45 minutes late and heading in the wrong direction.
Ian has got some more expectations to manage.
We don't want to go the Blackwall Tunnel, OK? - We're not very far away now.
- I don't need this.
- I so don't need this.
- What have you actually told him? I said there's a gay pride march in central London.
- OK.
Gay pride.
- It's worked for the minute, because there normally is one, and it's not the sort of thing you can really get cross about.
- No, that's great.
- But it's not going to hold him for long.
OK, so I'm suggesting now is we flip things around a bit and do the lunch and the presentations first as soon as we get there, then that releases Seb, and we can take them on a tour of the site afterwards.
OK, but this is your fault from now on.
If it goes tits-up, it's taking you with them.
OK, so in the scenario I just suggested, there is a slight chance, just so we're all on the same page here, there is a chance that we might not actually make lunch.
Hello, I'm Kay Hope and I'm Head of Sustainability for London 2012.
Hello.
Head of Sustainability.
The 2012 Games will be the first summer host city to embed sustainability into the organization of the Olympic Games and Paralympic Games from the outset.
OK, right.
So Putting legacy first means sustainability.
Putting sustainability first means that the London 2012 Games will be embedding sustainability from the outset into the Games and the Despite Graham's worries about the inadvisability of going through the Blackwall Tunnel, they're going through the Blackwall Tunnel.
ensuring that no waste is sent to landfills during Games time and encouraging new development of infrastructure for waste-processing systems across East London and beyond that, throughout the whole of the Lea Valley and throughout the country.
And I'd just like to speak to you for a moment, if I can, about, erm biodiversity Having gone through the tunnel in the wrong direction, they're now over an hour late.
The new strategy is to go back to it and go through again in the right direction.
Hello again.
So I'm Kay Hope, back in the light, and I'm Head of Sustainability for London 2012.
So that's one, two, yeah, so OK The second exit from where we came off there So that's the second exit from the third exit.
So if you're counting from Just go round again, and it'll be the third exit from the first one that we came off from.
no waste whatever is sent to landfill Hi, Nina, how are things? Oh, dear, what's happened now? OK, what's happened now is I'm just calling to say I'm going to blame everything on you, OK? - Just keep him there ten more minutes.
- Because actually it is all your fault, so it's the right thing to do anyway, so I don't feel bad about it.
- Actually, I so don't need this.
OK? - OK, great.
Ten more minutes.
OK.
This one - A13 west.
No, that's rubbish.
Just keep going round, basically.
If you So we'll bas Actually, what roundabout is this? They may now be over an hour and a half late, but at last they found their way back onto the A12 and towards the northbound section of the Blackwall Tunnel.
Where areas are cleared during the 2012 Games, we will try to relocate wildlife temporarily and then reintroduce them to each other at a later stage in sustainable habitats when they're returned to Games site, post Games.
But unluckily, a broken-down lorry has shed its brake fluid in the middle of the tunnel, which isn't going to help matters.
It's easy to be negative about things, isn't it, but the truth is, geographically, we've never been closer to where we want to be than we are now.
So I think the great positive to take out of this is that, if we do ever get out of here, we're virtually there.
Er, I'd like to talk a little bit about climate change.
We're hoping to minimize greenhouse gas emissions, and ensuring legacy of those sustainable ways of, er, managing emissions throughout Games time Only 25 minutes later, they're out.
during 2012 Games, London 2012 - This is it! Here it is! - Oh, thank God.
Right.
OK, guys, let's do this.
Finally, at last, it looks as if their goal is within their grasp.
OK.
Thanks for that, Kay, that was terrific.
OK.
So, guys, if you look to your right, what we're seeing here is the Olympic Park.
You can see the Olympic Stadium taking shape.
And And I think that's the that's the Velodrome we can see right now.
- Actually, it's the Aquatics Centre.
- OK, so that's the Aquatics Centre.
OK, um And I think behind that, the big white building, I think that's the - Cycling.
Cycling.
- Um I think that's the cycling I think that's the cycling.
- So M11, is that right? - No! What?! - It is the M11 you want? - No! Not the M11! We'll end up at bloody Stansted Airport! - OK, so, look, just turn off! - No! - Now? - Yes, like now! No, don't turn off now! No, cos now what happens is we get up to the M25 - just to turn round and get off again.
- Great.
Brilliant(!) Suddenly things are not looking so good again.
Already over two hours late and having overshot the Olympic Park and got onto the M11 by mistake, now they've hit traffic again.
Despite all the positive energy on the bus, even Ian knows it's time to face the truth.
I think I need to let Seb go now, basically.
Especially now we've hit this.
So you're actually going to tell him the whole story? Well, I think I have to, really, now, yes.
Presumably, professionally, that's going to be a pretty difficult conversation for you to have.
Yes.
When I say tell him, I mean tell his personal assistant, obviously.
Yes, obviously.
I don't need this, OK? Look, I don't like it either, but we are where we are with this.
He is so not going to like this, OK? When I say the truth, I mean, the truth in this case is a bit fuzzy round the edges, which I know is something Seb doesn't like.
So I if we could tidy it up somehow, you know, just to give him greater clarity.
I can't give him fuzziness.
I'm not going to do that.
In a way, it would be simpler to say we'd had a puncture, if it didn't happen to be a lie, - cos at least that's nice and clear.
- That's good.
No, a puncture's good.
- So where are we up to? - Right Yeah.
Hi, how are you? Ian has had a call from Seb Coe.
First gay pride, now a puncture.
- Yes, I know.
It's very frustrating.
- Is everyone OK? We're all OK, luckily.
It could have been much worse.
Is there someone there I can at least say hi to? Anyone I can make contact with? The Mayor, I don't know.
What, you mean now? Seb Coe has asked to speak to the Mayor of Rio personally.
Hi, it's Seb here.
It looks like we're probably not going to meet in person.
I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about the puncture.
Ian's decision to tell his boss the truth has changed everything.
The Brazilian delegation have insisted that the bus pulls off the M11 immediately and have refused to get back on it.
This is doing my bloody head in, this is.
Me, too.
I think, basically, it's a problem with translation.
Yeah, it's a translation problem.
Just to say, a replacement coach is on its way and will be here to take you back to the hotel and off to the airport in plenty of time.
I hope you've enjoyed your time with us today.
I know we've had one or two technical problems here and there It's been a day of managing expectations, and Ian's final task is to manage the expectations of his important guests as to exactly what it is that's happened to them.
you've got a very clear sense, I think, of how important sustainability is to London 2012.
So that's all good.
I'm sure he'll have just been wondering what she'd look like without it.
That's all it will have been.
The other thing to say here is it's actually a lot easier to manage when it's short.
OK, you can see the scalp.
Right.
For Ian and his team, it's been a day of fluctuating fortunes.
In the context of where we were this morning, and let's face it, for a lot of the time, we didn't know where that was, I think this is actually a pretty good result.
It's been a journey of discovery, put it that way.
But what have you discovered? It could have been so much worse, if you think how dangerous punctures can be.
But you didn't actually have a puncture, did you? There you go.
Better and better.
Nobody died, there's still chocolate fridge cake.
And so we move on.
Right, good.
Can't see anything.
It's really difficult to say.
There's too many wheels.
There may be trouble ahead But while there's moonlight and music And love and romance Let's face the music and dance Let's face the music And dance!
No, no, well, it's not even here yet.
Well, we're not due to leave 'til ten, so that'll be fine.
I mean, I could probably come in at about 4.
30.
I'll be back by then, if the head of year really feels it's all that Absolutely.
Thursday morning, outside the offices of the Olympic Deliverance Commission in London.
It's quarter to ten.
We'll be with them shortly after 10.
30.
Ten minutes to meet and greet, exactly.
He's a very imaginative boy.
You are aware of that? Today is a special day for Head of Deliverance Ian Fletcher and his team.
And then we should be with you 11.
30, 11.
45 at the latest.
Yeah, which'll be fine.
Exactly.
I suppose it should actually be here now, shouldn't it? Yeah, he'll have missed the filter off the slip road.
That's what'll've happened.
Classic.
A visiting delegation from Rio, host city for the Games in 2016, has been in London all week, and today they're to be taken on an official tour of the Olympic site.
- OK.
So I made it.
That's cool.
- Relax, you've got plenty of time.
Yeah, you've got a bus to catch.
You've got to be on the bus before it leaves.
Yeah, well, you can't be on it before it arrives, so you're fine.
Yeah, the thing is, it'll have missed the slip road off the Oh, here it is.
Here he comes, look.
- Bloody big bugger too! Look.
- Right.
Good.
Come on, then, in you come.
All I can say is he definitely didn't have any scissors when he left for school this morning.
No.
OK, guys, so we're all set.
Let's roll this out.
The accompanying party for the Olympic Deliverance Commission includes Head of Infrastructure Graham Hitchins and Head of Sustainability Kay Hope as well as Head of Brand Siobhan Sharpe, from PR company Perfect Curve.
- Sally, hi.
- Oh, hi.
- Sorry.
I ask you to print them and - Not a problem.
That's great.
Thanks.
I'm glad I caught you, cos I thought you'd have gone.
- Yes, what do you think of the coach? - Yes.
- Impressive, huh? - Yes.
Yes.
- I thought I'd bring you this as well.
- What's this? - You know, you probably won't - Oh, Sally - No, no.
Not a problem.
- Oh, this is.
I was making some for myself anyway, so - We have lunch when we get there.
- I know.
I thought for the journey - Sally, this is so - No, no, not at all.
- Chocolate fridge cake! - I mean, you probably won't - Sally, you are a dangerous woman.
- Not a problem.
The first leg of the journey involves going to the central London hotel where the Brazilian delegation has been staying.
From there, they'll pick up their guests and take them directly out to the Olympic site in time for their meeting with Sebastian Coe at midday.
- OK, guys.
We're locked and loaded.
- Yes.
Oh, look, there's Sally.
Aw, sweet.
Yeah, so you want to be in the left-hand lane here, mate.
So, basically, it's the left-hand lane.
Hello? Yeah, so you want to be in the left-hand lane here, basically.
Hello? - OK, there you go.
- Thanks.
Do I need this? I've already got my ordinary ID card.
- Sure.
But this is better than that.
- Right.
This is extra-ordinary.
- OK, right.
- Excuse me? - This is Head of Legacy.
- Sure.
I'm Head of Sustainability.
- Oh, yeah, cool.
But for now, right? - No, it's not all right, actually.
For Siobhan, it's important that the itinerary for the day is understood loud and clear from the outset.
so we're all copied into the same time frame on this, OK? Graham? OK, so 10am, we leave the ODC for the hotel.
We're done with that.
It's over.
Can I just say, I've no idea where this guy's going.
Let's assume for the moment he does know where he's going.
- Fine.
- Since he's the driver.
10.
40, we arrive at the hotel.
We meet the Brazilian delegation and we also greet them.
Right, can I just say, so as not to startle anyone, I will be saying a few words when we get there, which I've had translated into Portuguese.
- Sure.
- Portuguese?! Yeah, OK, you're right.
Very short.
Obviously, I've no idea what it means.
- OK.
Cool.
11 am, we're going to be - Hang on a minute, Siobhan.
- Exchange of gifts? - Excuse me? It says "exchange of gifts" here.
Um OK.
Do you want to talk us through that? Well, not really.
No.
I don't know anything about it.
Um - That's not a gift? - This? No, that's No, this is - That's just something else.
- OK.
Here's the thing.
I think we need to talk about that.
I am talking about it.
How are we going to get them a gift now? I know there is a big Tesco's on your left as you're coming towards Can I just say, I've no idea where this guy's going.
Graham, can we just sort out the gift thing, OK? - Sorry, but we haven't got much time.
- Yeah, OK, whatever.
If they are going to get the Brazilians something to exchange a gift, they need to come up with an idea in the next few minutes.
OK, what about Brazil nuts? OK, no, that's wrong.
Ideally it should be in some way about London, not Brazil.
OK, chestnuts.
OK, no, that's wrong, too.
I think we probably need to go beyond nuts altogether.
Siobhan, is there anything in the branding, merchandising area that we could? Yeah, no, I think that's a great idea.
What were you thinking? - I was thinking you're Head of Brand.
- OK, yeah.
I'm totally cool with that.
But adversity is the mother of invention, and under pressure, Siobhan remembers their own 2012 website with its official online merchandise shop.
Mascot T-shirts.
Model London taxis with the mascot on the bonnet.
I've got mascot towels here.
It's quite neat, actually.
The doors look like they actually open.
OK.
Is there anything at all without the mascots on them? Commemorative 2012 £5 coin.
- Ah, right.
- The doors don't open.
That's rubbish.
You can get it in a gold-boxed set.
They definitely don't have the mascots on them? - I don't think so, no.
- Great.
Sold.
Siobhan, can you? OK, I'm on it, I'm on it.
Oh, hi, Fran.
Yeah.
We've got a situation here.
No, don't talk, just listen.
OK, what I want you to do is Fran? Are you there? Are you there? OK.
OK.
OK, cool.
OK.
What I need you to do is bike something to the Meridian Mayfair Hotel.
But it's got to get there before we do.
Tell her that's not going to be difficult, OK? - What is he doing? What is he doing? - Meanwhile, it's 10.
45.
By this time, they should have arrived at the hotel.
But so far, they haven't.
- This is madness.
- We're not far away now.
I mean, we're coming in from the north.
You can't That doesn't exist! God knows where we are now.
- This is it, isn't it? - Yeah.
What? - Right, we're here.
- Well, you say that Meanwhile, only seven minutes late, the bus has arrived at the central London hotel where the Brazilian delegation is staying.
This is the final day of their visit to London, and the tour of the Olympic site and meeting with Sebastian Coe is the climax of their trip.
The delegation includes the Mayor of Rio and several junior government ministers, as well as their own interpreter who has been travelling with them at all times.
OK.
Well, before we get on the coach I'd just like to say a few words, but I'll keep it short.
OK.
Right.
Erm Ladies and gentlemens, welcome to London.
We hope you enjoyed your stay here.
OK, right.
Erm - Today, you are our guests.
- Right Lord Coe is waiting to see you.
He thinks you will find the Olympic Park as exciting as he is.
Thank you.
Ah, yes.
Sorry, sorry.
One last thing, we'd very much like to offer this to you as a little token of our - As a little token, really.
- Obrigado.
Oh obrigado.
Thank you.
Why would you go west? Why would you do that? Hello? With the Brazilian delegation safely on board and only half an hour behind schedule, they idea now is that they should set off in the direction of the Olympic Park.
Hello?! He's going west-that's like 160 degrees in the wrong direction! - 160? - Well, 180.
190! It's totally wrong.
Meanwhile, Head of Sustainability Kay Hope has had a call from her son's school.
He's a young boy.
I know all mothers say this, but he's very intelligent and he's curious about the world.
They're keen for her to go in and either talk to him or take him home.
It's sod's law.
Normally, when stuff like this happens, I can find a way of getting over there for ten minutes if I have to.
- And is he OK? - Yes, he's fine.
- So, what's actually happened to him? - They're making a big fuss about it, but, really, he'll be fine.
Keiren's a good boy.
He's cut his French teacher's ponytail off.
- Oh, right.
- I mean, really! Come on.
Yes.
I Yeah.
We've got them on board now and they seem happy enough, so that's all good.
Ian is in contact with Sebastian Coe's personal assistant, Nina Christiani, who's already on site at the Olympic Park.
Well, pretty much, I think.
We're just leaving central London now.
Great.
Cos if we could get away a bit earlier today, that'd be great for us.
Earlier.
Right.
Obviously, there's a bit of traffic around, but I think we're in pretty good shape.
What time are you expecting him? He's already here, with Martin Soper, talking about the wind turbine.
Plus, he's got a meeting with Branson this afternoon and then the Queen later on, so if he could get away a bit earlier after lunch, it would be great.
- Right.
When you say early? - Oh, no way.
- That would so help me.
It would be great.
Right, well, as I say, we're on our way and we'll definitely be there or thereabouts.
Bye.
OK.
Hi.
- No it's OK.
- It is working now.
Yeah, I'm totally good with this.
Meanwhile, for Head of Brand Siobhan Sharpe, it's important that things are running smoothly.
So, my name's Siobhan Sharpe, I'm Head of Brand for London 2012 and I'll be your tour guide today.
OK.
So, hi.
You should all have copies of the schedule for the day.
I have some more here if you don't.
I just want to take you through that.
Number one, 11 A.
M.
, depart hotel for Olympic Park.
Number two, 11.
45 A.
M.
, arrive Olympic Park.
Four 1 pm, lunch on site with Lord Coe and members of the Olympic Deliverance Commission.
Gracias.
- I'm sure he knows what he's doing.
- Yeah, driving to Cornwall! - Keep your voice down, I'll have a word.
- He's gone past Hyde Park Corner, he's gone past Harrods - We've been over this bridge twice.
- When is this going to end? - The guy's a psychopath! - All right, all right.
OK.
Um, hello? - Excuse me? - He's got that thing in his ear.
That's either a deaf aid, or someone's controlling his brain.
Sorry, can I have a word? No, no, there's no need to stop.
Keep going.
I just wanted Oh Someone's thrown a switch back in command bunker! I was given these details to put into the sat nav.
That's the system we operate for insurance purposes.
I understand that.
Yeah, but if you're saying the postcode's incorrect, well, actually, that's human error.
That's a totally different thing.
Forgive me, I'm not interested in how this happened.
I'm interested in getting to the Olympic Park by 11.
45 at the latest.
Sure.
I'm just telling you that.
So the correct postcode is? It's E15.
Oh, right, well, that's completely different.
I had SW19.
- SW19? - That's like Wimbledon.
So that's like, what, southwest or something? It's Wimbledon! - OK.
I think we're sorted now.
- Do you know London at all? Well, I don't live here as such.
Out of interest, where do you live? Me? In actual fact, I live in Nottingham meself.
- Really? - Nottingham? But like I say, I go all round Europe.
Yeah, I've noticed that.
Well, look, the fact is, it's now 11.
25, just past, and we are due to be at the Olympic Park in Stratford, which is on the northeastern edge of London, in about 17 minutes' time.
- How do you see that panning out? - Yeah, well, it's saying 42 minutes here.
- Right, is it? - But it all depends where it is.
Yes.
OK, guys.
Just to keep you up to date, we're in pretty good shape.
As you can see, we're going to be taking you right through the centre of London today.
As the clock ticks down, they may now be facing in the right direction, but in trying to get back across central London, they've hit a new problem - traffic.
North? Surely we just want to get on the A11? What I'm suggesting is, round the back of Olympia, Edgware Road Luckily, as Head of Infrastructure, this is Graham Hitchins' specialist subject.
I don't want to bore you with it, right, but this thing automatically syncs up with the Highways Agency Central Database.
Right.
Now, technically, OK, that's not legal, but what it means is, right, at any given time, it knows where the traffic is, all the pizza places Right, OK.
Do it.
What have we got to lose? Right, OK.
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! But Graham's plan to save time by going north before turning east has hit a snag.
Stop.
You've got about that much.
Just about that.
Hi, just to say, we're experiencing one or two difficulties with the technology at the moment.
As a result, there is a possibility that we may be slightly late for our midday rendezvous at the Olympic Park.
Yes, the good news is I've spoken to Lord Coe, and he's promised not to eat all the cheese-and-pickle sandwiches before we get there! So that's all good.
In these sorts of situations, a lot of it is about managing expectations, both at this end and at the other end.
Right, you've got about this much room.
That's doing fine, that's doing fine.
What you're trying to do is give people a sense of ownership of the idea of being late, and then if they are late, at least they feel they've got an investment in being late.
Yeah, about three yards.
- Nina, hi.
- Hi, how's it going? Uh, yeah, no, it's good.
We're out of the traffic, anyway.
We've pretty much got the road to ourselves.
But I've told Seb you're going to be early now - Right.
OK.
so now he's asking me for a time.
OK, Nina, it might be worth just feeding into the equation at this stage that we may not actually be early, as in literally arriving before you were expected us to arrive.
- So where are you now? - No, we're fine.
We're on the North Circular.
We're pretty much there.
I'm just marking your card, really, so you can manage his expectations.
Yeah, I have managed his expectations.
He's expecting you to be early.
All I'm saying is it might be worth just resetting the dial a bit, that's all.
- He's not keen on that, OK? - Right.
OK.
Once you've set his dial, he pretty much doesn't like anybody fiddling with it.
OK, guys, we're going to be making a brief stop here.
It's 10 past 12, which means that, despite the benefits of satellite technology, they are now officially late, and Ian has made an executive decision to buy a map.
This is a pretty much typical London petrol station.
Um, you see them pretty much all over the city.
And as you can see, there's a little shop attached to it.
So, if you want to get off the coach and take a look, that's cool, um, but we would ask you to please refrain from smoking, and, guys, please be back on the coach within ten minutes.
Five, Siobhan.
Correction.
Five minutes.
Sorry.
Make that five.
OK, guys, enjoy.
We're a lot further south than we thought.
- Yep, loads.
- Which isn't great.
- Yeah, all the way down here, look.
- But we're also quite a lot further east than I thought, so it's not entirely a bad thing.
- I know a great route to the A11.
- Right.
I use it all the time when I take Keiren to see his so-called father in Hackney.
Thanks, Kay.
So the first thing is, we make a plan and we stick with it.
That's cool, yeah.
So from here, we pick up the A13, then we go north on the A12, which will then take us to the A11, which takes us straight there.
Where's Leytonstone? - Kay, let's just stick with the plan.
- OK, sure, sure.
The second thing is, Siobhan Hi! Hi! So, Siobhan, second thing, do you know anyone in Richard Branson's office? - No.
Sorry.
I don't.
- Oh.
Right.
Nuh-uh.
I don't know anyone in his office.
I know everyone.
Oh, right, I see.
Very good.
I think we can still be humorous, right? Well, I suppose we could be, but let's just not, shall we? OK.
Sure.
What would be quite useful is if you could call in any favours there and persuade them to somehow move this meeting with Seb an hour later.
- Totally.
- Just an hour.
- It might make all the difference.
- No problem.
So, let's take these positive thoughts, going forward, and the key thing here is to keep them entertained.
We don't want to give them any time at all to think about anything.
Here's the thing with that.
I take them through a revised schedule for the day.
Right.
That's an example of exactly the kind of thing we don't want them thinking about, OK? OK.
That's cool.
- Kay, I had a thought.
- OK, good.
I really think it will be hard to do this without the PowerPoint element.
- I really think that.
- You don't have to do the full works.
Ian's idea is that Kay should do a version of the presentation on sustainability that she was going to do after lunch as part of the Olympic Park experience.
I have a lot of graphic illustrations that I talk about.
But, Kay, that's a problem.
- Yes, it is a problem.
- I don't need problems at the moment.
- I need solutions.
- Well, that's an even bigger problem.
- We know how important sustainability is.
- Yes.
It is sustainability, isn't it? Of course it is, yes.
It's never easy when you're asking people to step outside their comfort zone, but sometimes, as a manager, it's your job to push people just that little bit further than they think they're capable of.
- Are they grateful afterwards? - Not usually, no.
As I say, they hate it.
You don't think a presentation on sustainability, translated into Portuguese and without any visual aids might possibly confuse them? - I think it might do, yes.
- Right.
So, basically, it's a question of how long Kay can keep it up.
- Yes, yes.
- No, north! North! A12 north! Thanks to a burst water main on the A13, the driver has had no option but to be diverted onto the A12 south instead of north.
What we don't want is to end up going through the Blackwall Tunnel, OK? Hello? With Sebastian Coe still waiting out at the Olympic Park, they're now 45 minutes late and heading in the wrong direction.
Ian has got some more expectations to manage.
We don't want to go the Blackwall Tunnel, OK? - We're not very far away now.
- I don't need this.
- I so don't need this.
- What have you actually told him? I said there's a gay pride march in central London.
- OK.
Gay pride.
- It's worked for the minute, because there normally is one, and it's not the sort of thing you can really get cross about.
- No, that's great.
- But it's not going to hold him for long.
OK, so I'm suggesting now is we flip things around a bit and do the lunch and the presentations first as soon as we get there, then that releases Seb, and we can take them on a tour of the site afterwards.
OK, but this is your fault from now on.
If it goes tits-up, it's taking you with them.
OK, so in the scenario I just suggested, there is a slight chance, just so we're all on the same page here, there is a chance that we might not actually make lunch.
Hello, I'm Kay Hope and I'm Head of Sustainability for London 2012.
Hello.
Head of Sustainability.
The 2012 Games will be the first summer host city to embed sustainability into the organization of the Olympic Games and Paralympic Games from the outset.
OK, right.
So Putting legacy first means sustainability.
Putting sustainability first means that the London 2012 Games will be embedding sustainability from the outset into the Games and the Despite Graham's worries about the inadvisability of going through the Blackwall Tunnel, they're going through the Blackwall Tunnel.
ensuring that no waste is sent to landfills during Games time and encouraging new development of infrastructure for waste-processing systems across East London and beyond that, throughout the whole of the Lea Valley and throughout the country.
And I'd just like to speak to you for a moment, if I can, about, erm biodiversity Having gone through the tunnel in the wrong direction, they're now over an hour late.
The new strategy is to go back to it and go through again in the right direction.
Hello again.
So I'm Kay Hope, back in the light, and I'm Head of Sustainability for London 2012.
So that's one, two, yeah, so OK The second exit from where we came off there So that's the second exit from the third exit.
So if you're counting from Just go round again, and it'll be the third exit from the first one that we came off from.
no waste whatever is sent to landfill Hi, Nina, how are things? Oh, dear, what's happened now? OK, what's happened now is I'm just calling to say I'm going to blame everything on you, OK? - Just keep him there ten more minutes.
- Because actually it is all your fault, so it's the right thing to do anyway, so I don't feel bad about it.
- Actually, I so don't need this.
OK? - OK, great.
Ten more minutes.
OK.
This one - A13 west.
No, that's rubbish.
Just keep going round, basically.
If you So we'll bas Actually, what roundabout is this? They may now be over an hour and a half late, but at last they found their way back onto the A12 and towards the northbound section of the Blackwall Tunnel.
Where areas are cleared during the 2012 Games, we will try to relocate wildlife temporarily and then reintroduce them to each other at a later stage in sustainable habitats when they're returned to Games site, post Games.
But unluckily, a broken-down lorry has shed its brake fluid in the middle of the tunnel, which isn't going to help matters.
It's easy to be negative about things, isn't it, but the truth is, geographically, we've never been closer to where we want to be than we are now.
So I think the great positive to take out of this is that, if we do ever get out of here, we're virtually there.
Er, I'd like to talk a little bit about climate change.
We're hoping to minimize greenhouse gas emissions, and ensuring legacy of those sustainable ways of, er, managing emissions throughout Games time Only 25 minutes later, they're out.
during 2012 Games, London 2012 - This is it! Here it is! - Oh, thank God.
Right.
OK, guys, let's do this.
Finally, at last, it looks as if their goal is within their grasp.
OK.
Thanks for that, Kay, that was terrific.
OK.
So, guys, if you look to your right, what we're seeing here is the Olympic Park.
You can see the Olympic Stadium taking shape.
And And I think that's the that's the Velodrome we can see right now.
- Actually, it's the Aquatics Centre.
- OK, so that's the Aquatics Centre.
OK, um And I think behind that, the big white building, I think that's the - Cycling.
Cycling.
- Um I think that's the cycling I think that's the cycling.
- So M11, is that right? - No! What?! - It is the M11 you want? - No! Not the M11! We'll end up at bloody Stansted Airport! - OK, so, look, just turn off! - No! - Now? - Yes, like now! No, don't turn off now! No, cos now what happens is we get up to the M25 - just to turn round and get off again.
- Great.
Brilliant(!) Suddenly things are not looking so good again.
Already over two hours late and having overshot the Olympic Park and got onto the M11 by mistake, now they've hit traffic again.
Despite all the positive energy on the bus, even Ian knows it's time to face the truth.
I think I need to let Seb go now, basically.
Especially now we've hit this.
So you're actually going to tell him the whole story? Well, I think I have to, really, now, yes.
Presumably, professionally, that's going to be a pretty difficult conversation for you to have.
Yes.
When I say tell him, I mean tell his personal assistant, obviously.
Yes, obviously.
I don't need this, OK? Look, I don't like it either, but we are where we are with this.
He is so not going to like this, OK? When I say the truth, I mean, the truth in this case is a bit fuzzy round the edges, which I know is something Seb doesn't like.
So I if we could tidy it up somehow, you know, just to give him greater clarity.
I can't give him fuzziness.
I'm not going to do that.
In a way, it would be simpler to say we'd had a puncture, if it didn't happen to be a lie, - cos at least that's nice and clear.
- That's good.
No, a puncture's good.
- So where are we up to? - Right Yeah.
Hi, how are you? Ian has had a call from Seb Coe.
First gay pride, now a puncture.
- Yes, I know.
It's very frustrating.
- Is everyone OK? We're all OK, luckily.
It could have been much worse.
Is there someone there I can at least say hi to? Anyone I can make contact with? The Mayor, I don't know.
What, you mean now? Seb Coe has asked to speak to the Mayor of Rio personally.
Hi, it's Seb here.
It looks like we're probably not going to meet in person.
I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about the puncture.
Ian's decision to tell his boss the truth has changed everything.
The Brazilian delegation have insisted that the bus pulls off the M11 immediately and have refused to get back on it.
This is doing my bloody head in, this is.
Me, too.
I think, basically, it's a problem with translation.
Yeah, it's a translation problem.
Just to say, a replacement coach is on its way and will be here to take you back to the hotel and off to the airport in plenty of time.
I hope you've enjoyed your time with us today.
I know we've had one or two technical problems here and there It's been a day of managing expectations, and Ian's final task is to manage the expectations of his important guests as to exactly what it is that's happened to them.
you've got a very clear sense, I think, of how important sustainability is to London 2012.
So that's all good.
I'm sure he'll have just been wondering what she'd look like without it.
That's all it will have been.
The other thing to say here is it's actually a lot easier to manage when it's short.
OK, you can see the scalp.
Right.
For Ian and his team, it's been a day of fluctuating fortunes.
In the context of where we were this morning, and let's face it, for a lot of the time, we didn't know where that was, I think this is actually a pretty good result.
It's been a journey of discovery, put it that way.
But what have you discovered? It could have been so much worse, if you think how dangerous punctures can be.
But you didn't actually have a puncture, did you? There you go.
Better and better.
Nobody died, there's still chocolate fridge cake.
And so we move on.
Right, good.
Can't see anything.
It's really difficult to say.
There's too many wheels.
There may be trouble ahead But while there's moonlight and music And love and romance Let's face the music and dance Let's face the music And dance!